Deciding on a Budget

[vintageloves]

I went out to dinner and came home to find so much more good information!

Trying out stones in person because you might not love what you think you do-- will do! I can totally see that happening. And I'll look at F, VS1 instead of G, VS2 like I had been.

Yes, my husband upgraded from a 6oz filet to a 12oz for $8 at a nice steakhouse and would. not. stop. talking about it. Then he switched plates with me because it tasted better than my strip and he doesn't care enough about steak to have a preference and knows I do. So if the price difference between a G and a F isn't much in relation to the diamond cost, he wants the F. Same with size and everything else. This is not a man who buys many things, but when he does he wants to feel like he has found a good deal.

I loved all those pictures of gorgeous rings. I really think 2 carats is my limit. I would consider that to be a very large sized stone.

I tried to get a budget, but found that it's still a fluid situation for him. He gave me a number but then agreed to both lower (I don't know dear, that sounds like more than we should spend) and higher (but it might be worth it to splurge since we never buy anything) numbers in the matter of a minute.

BUT it was all enough to get a 2.0ish F, VS1 or VVS2 emerald in a platinum setting with the baguettes. So for now, that's what I'm going to go with.

 

[Lookinagain]

Well before you decide on color you really should make sure you are looking at GIA or AGS graded stones and not just in jewelry store lighting but outdoors as well. I have a GIA 2 ct EC G VVS1 and it looks very white to me. so make sure you are as sensitive as you think you are or as others say (about clarity but I think it applies to color as well) don't pay for what you can't see.

 

[SimoneDi]

Here is a pretty amazing emerald for consideration - https://black.briangavindiamonds.com/diamond-details/bkags-104096832002
I have seen bgd emeralds in person and they are stunning.

 

[peacechick]

I went out to dinner and came home to find so much more good information!

Trying out stones in person because you might not love what you think you do-- will do! I can totally see that happening. And I'll look at F, VS1 instead of G, VS2 like I had been.

Yes, my husband upgraded from a 6oz filet to a 12oz for $8 at a nice steakhouse and would. not. stop. talking about it. Then he switched plates with me because it tasted better than my strip and he doesn't care enough about steak to have a preference and knows I do. So if the price difference between a G and a F isn't much in relation to the diamond cost, he wants the F. Same with size and everything else. This is not a man who buys many things, but when he does he wants to feel like he has found a good deal.

I loved all those pictures of gorgeous rings. I really think 2 carats is my limit. I would consider that to be a very large sized stone.

I tried to get a budget, but found that it's still a fluid situation for him. He gave me a number but then agreed to both lower (I don't know dear, that sounds like more than we should spend) and higher (but it might be worth it to splurge since we never buy anything) numbers in the matter of a minute.

BUT it was all enough to get a 2.0ish F, VS1 or VVS2 emerald in a platinum setting with the baguettes. So for now, that's what I'm going to go with.

It honestly sounds like to me that he is prepared to spoil you. From the story of the steak, yes, he likes a good deal but also he cares more that you enjoy the steak than he does. I feel quite certain that once you fall in love with a ring, whatever the price, he will accept your rationalizations. And you know him well enough to rationalize it to his liking e.g. checked with PS, trusted online vendor, fabulous upgrade/sell back policy, etc.

I've heard about Whiteflash's upgrade policy, which is great, but also want to point out Ivy & Rose's Buyback Policy, which is also pretty awesome. They offer to buy back any piece for 90% of the original purchase price, which can be used towards anything on their website. You can't get that on a car!

 

[vintageloves]

Here is a pretty amazing emerald for consideration - https://black.briangavindiamonds.com/diamond-details/bkags-104096832002
I have seen bgd emeralds in person and they are stunning.

I liked that site. I appreciate the eye clean shot because all the other sites I've look at only have magnified images where even the vvs stones look included.

 

[vintageloves]

It honestly sounds like to me that he is prepared to spoil you. From the story of the steak, yes, he likes a good deal but also he cares more that you enjoy the steak than he does. I feel quite certain that once you fall in love with a ring, whatever the price, he will accept your rationalizations. And you know him well enough to rationalize it to his liking e.g. checked with PS, trusted online vendor, fabulous upgrade/sell back policy, etc.

I've heard about Whiteflash's upgrade policy, which is great, but also want to point out Ivy & Rose's Buyback Policy, which is also pretty awesome. They offer to buy back any piece for 90% of the original purchase price, which can be used towards anything on their website. You can't get that on a car!

He does spoil me. When we got out he asks me what my top 2 dishes are so he can order one as my "backup" dish unless mine comes out bad. I think this didn't come across right, but he isn't refusing to set a budget because he's stingy or withholding. It's because he doesn't seem the point, and he doesn't do things if he doesn't see the point.

I just want to be responsible. I don't want him to say yes to something that's too much just to spoil me. I think that's why I was so focused on budget. I want to make sure I don't take advantage.

 

[marymm]

You sound like a loving couple who really appreciate each other - I am sure you will sort this out, and be sporting a beautiful diamond ring you both will be proud of and take pleasure in - best of luck in this journey!

 

[sledge]

Your story about the steak cracked me up. I'd definitley say find what you want and then reassure him it's a great value. He's enamoured with you.

Wow that is love there...order your 2nd favorite dish as his primary just in case the kitchen messes up.

I've not done that, ever. But this past weekend my girl and I went out for a nice dinner. Her order was not to her liking and I was trying to swap her. She wouldn't have it. I finally got the waiter over and ordered a new dish for her. Asked him to take mine back and heat it up so it was warm and we could eat together.

I'm also old school and do things like open doors, order dinner for both us, put her on the inside edge of the sidewalk if we are walking so she's shielded from traffic, etc.

 

[lovedogs]

I just want to be responsible. I don't want him to say yes to something that's too much just to spoil me. I think that's why I was so focused on budget. I want to make sure I don't take advantage.

I completely understand this sentiment--but with my parents, not DH. I am always very conscious about not "taking advantage" of their generosity and willingness to give (relatively) large gifts. I try to make sure that I point them towards more budget conscious gifts, or to things that are handmade or worth the cost. It sounds like your DH is similar, except more practical than my family haha.

You guys sound like a great team and love each other very much. I say find something that you absolutely adore. We won't recommend things that are not worth their cost (in terms of quality diamond and/or workmanship). If you find something you love, he will love for you to have it.

 

[TreeScientist]

If you're considering emerald cuts and decide to go the vintage-inspired route (meaning a new setting in an old style) then consider Brian Gavin for the diamond.

I believe they are the only SuperIdeal vendor that has a branded line of Emerald cuts. The one thing that stuck out to me in your recent posts is when you said that some Emerald cuts look better than others to your eye, and you weren't sure why. Well, it's probably because of the cut. Just like round diamonds, there are well cut and not so well cut Emeralds. And the not so well cut varieties will not return as much light or have the nice "steps" and will instead have a dead, lifeless center.

Finding a well-cut Emerald on the open market can be quite the hassle, as it's not quite as straightforward as with MRBs. The Brian Gavin Emerald line takes the guess-work out of finding one by providing you with ASET images and decent videos to analyze the stone's performance.

Here's a nice D-VS2 around 1.5 carats. If you matched it with a delicate setting with thin trap side stones (which seems to be the style you prefer), it would probably bring the total ring to a little over 2 carat.
https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/...-bkags-104096347008#!prettyPhoto[gallery2]/1/

The Octavia and other Yoram-cut asscher diamonds are also beautiful, but it seems like you want an elongated step cut, so I don't think these would scratch the itch for you.

 

[TreeScientist]

Oh, and here's a setting that seems to match your style. Three stone with bezeled-baguette side stones and a relatively delicate setting:
https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/...erald-and-baguette-platinum-5449p/?build=ring

Would bring the total cost to around $13k.

 

[TreeScientist]

And finally, I think it is a good idea to have a conversation about the budget (like others have said), but I think a good way to approach the conversation may be to come to him with a ring in mind at the budget that you're comfortable with spending.

Go to him and say "I found this ring that I like. It's about $15k. What do you think?

Try to choose a style that you would consider getting, but it doesn't have to be the "final selection" or the ring will ultimately choose. Then see what his reaction is both to the ring and the budget. I think that's the only way you're going to be able to gauge his reaction to a certain budget that you had in mind.

As a man who is also very analytical and spendthrifty with money on most occasions, I personally do not like the "percentage" rules such as "Lets spend 2 months salary" or "How about 6 months of our savings?" I like getting value for what I buy, and in a purchase like this the value is getting what you want for what you can afford. So such rules are sort of offputting to me, and I imagine they would also be offputting to him as well. I would reply with "Let's get you what you want for a good deal and not worry about how large a percentage of our savings per year it costs."

 

[scarsmum]

Would you mind disclosing your budget? 2 carat emeralds will range in price from 14k to over 40k

https://parcelandstone.com/diamond/Emerald/2.04-carat-F-color-VVS2-clarity-stockNo-180412-288/

 

[yssie]

order dinner for both us.

I always ask the other half to do this - I genuinely prefer it.

Reactions of service staff vary hugely. We've had people (fortunately only a few!) who seem to think it's a sign that I'm in an oppressive relationship. Most, especially at higher-end establishments, catch on quickly and just address all future questions to him. Interestingly, regardless of what happens during the "ordering stage"... the little black folio with the cheque always winds up in front of him

 

[sledge]

I always ask the other half to do this - I genuinely prefer it.

Reactions of service staff vary hugely. We've had people (fortunately only a few!) who seem to think it's a sign that I'm in an oppressive relationship. Most, especially at higher-end establishments, catch on quickly and just address all future questions to him. Interestingly, regardless of what happens during the "ordering stage"... the little black folio with the cheque always winds up in front of him

I agree you do sometimes get looks from waiters. I've noticed it's usually younger females as they just make assumptions about my girl being oppressed. Me and her just shrug it off and have a laugh about it after the waiter/waitress leaves. And you are correct, wait staff at higher-end establishments just tend to do better and get certain elements better.

LOL, and I always pay too. I'm pretty sure guys like your husband and me expect to pay.

Funny how these little things don't mean anything, but they do. Years ago on first dates, I would open the girls door. If she didn't lean over and unlock mine (had a few vehicles w/o power locks at one time) or hit the unlock button, there was no second date.

 

[OoohShiny]

I never pay for food on an evening out - I pay all the house and car maintenance bills, she can pay for the fun stuff!

 

[pearaffair]

Op I want to swing back and give you a hug, because I sooooo know how it feels to not want to be greedy and to wonder if you deserve nice bling. I got married with a $150 sterling silver engagement ring. When we bought a blingy anniversary band three years later, I couldn’t believe I deserved such a thing! But I do! And you do. You’ve worked hard, and saved, and it’s time! Your DH will be impressed with the ring you select. Pricescope quality is in a league of its own! Best wishes on the hunt!

 

[vintageloves]

So my husband took me shopping today. It took going to multiple jewelers, but I finally found one who said "why don't I just show you every shape we have in 2 carat and we can go from there" and I was like Hallelujah! Finally! We went through a ton of setting and styles and we came up with some ideas:

-- I seem to show strong preference to 3 stone rings, especially when the sides stones are different than the center diamond.
-- I really don't want pave on the band or a halo. I knew this, but after seeing rings, I really know this. 1-3 diamonds is quite enough to keep track of on one ring.
-- I like Radiants and Emeralds the best. I was surprised at how much I didn't like the asscher.

And my husband side stepped the budget question completely. LOL. The jeweler very nicely, and subtly tried three times. Bless his heart.

I would love to use this jeweler, because he was so helpful, but his stones seemed very expensive to me. He has my husband 100% sold on Radiants (they're more brilliant, you can go lower on color and clarity, it's what I'd get for my wife). Within a minute of talking he said a Radiant with Trapezoid sides was going to be my spirit ring.

But the choice is mine. I'll admit that Radiant in the jewelers was pretty amazing, but I know they can be a tricky stone (he denied this and said it's a standard cut, so they are all the same, but I'm pretty sure they are not). I might be biting off more than I can chew because it seems like a ring like this would be custom whereas I can make an Emerald/Baguette combo on a site like James Allen. Just a couple days of thinking about this has me feeling like that emoji smiley face that repeatedly gets squashed with the mallet. The idea of trying to become a diamond expert and working on a custom design has me a bit terrified.

 

[lovedogs]

I'm SO GLAD you got to try on different styles and shapes. That's exactly the right thing to do, and it sounds like it helped confirmed some of the thoughts you already had.

Unfortunately I'm no help on choosing radiants themselves, but the experts here can definitely help! It's definitely not true that radiants are "all the same"--the jeweler is either misinformed or not being honest. But we can find you something amazing (and by we, I mean the more expert prosumers on here than I).

 

[vintageloves]

I'm SO GLAD you got to try on different styles and shapes. That's exactly the right thing to do, and it sounds like it helped confirmed some of the thoughts you already had.

Unfortunately I'm no help on choosing radiants themselves, but the experts here can definitely help! It's definitely not true that radiants are "all the same"--the jeweler is either misinformed or not being honest. But we can find you something amazing (and by we, I mean the more expert prosumers on here than I).

He said Radiants were Princess cuts with the corners clipped. He said he went to gemology school. I only went to google, but that didn't sound right to me.

 

[scarsmum]

If you like a center of whichever cut with trapezoids, it certainly can be a stock design, I know that blue nile does one and probably the other main diamond dealers also. I wouldn't worry about that. I am concerned about a jeweler who think all radants are the same.

 

[scarsmum]

I'm curious whether you want to do this at a Brick and Mortar store so that your husband feels involved? Let us know if that's your preference, there may be some good recommendations for jewelers.

 

[BlingDreams]

So my husband took me shopping today. It took going to multiple jewelers, but I finally found one who said "why don't I just show you every shape we have in 2 carat and we can go from there" and I was like Hallelujah! Finally! We went through a ton of setting and styles and we came up with some ideas:

-- I seem to show strong preference to 3 stone rings, especially when the sides stones are different than the center diamond.
-- I really don't want pave on the band or a halo. I knew this, but after seeing rings, I really know this. 1-3 diamonds is quite enough to keep track of on one ring.
-- I like Radiants and Emeralds the best. I was surprised at how much I didn't like the asscher.

And my husband side stepped the budget question completely. LOL. The jeweler very nicely, and subtly tried three times. Bless his heart.

I would love to use this jeweler, because he was so helpful, but his stones seemed very expensive to me. He has my husband 100% sold on Radiants (they're more brilliant, you can go lower on color and clarity, it's what I'd get for my wife). Within a minute of talking he said a Radiant with Trapezoid sides was going to be my spirit ring.

But the choice is mine. I'll admit that Radiant in the jewelers was pretty amazing, but I know they can be a tricky stone (he denied this and said it's a standard cut, so they are all the same, but I'm pretty sure they are not). I might be biting off more than I can chew because it seems like a ring like this would be custom whereas I can make an Emerald/Baguette combo on a site like James Allen. Just a couple days of thinking about this has me feeling like that emoji smiley face that repeatedly gets squashed with the mallet. The idea of trying to become a diamond expert and working on a custom design has me a bit terrified.

I'm so glad to hear that you had a day of diamonds! Now that you know what appeals to you (and it looks like you're back to the emerald cut, or at least that shape), you can start to narrow it down. First question is if you prefer bright, thin, and sparkly flashes of light that tends to grab attention easier or broader and bolder flashes that more stay under the radar? The first option is leaning radiant cut and the second is emerald cut. Next question is if you decided for sure on your color and clarity sensitivity? And lastly, what size center diamond did you find you liked best? Or if he only showed 2ct diamonds, what did you think of the size on you?

 

[BlingDreams]

When you have a chance, look at these links. They're examples of relatively basic 3-stone rings with an emerald cut center stone, done by expert craftsman, so you'll get an idea of how a ring constructed with great precision would look once completed. *I'm not suggesting either of these vendors at this time, but they have easy-to-filter websites that allow you to browse what you're interested in so I think it's a good place for you to start.

https://www.victorcanera.com/rings/engagement?shape=emerald-cut&type=three-stone

https://www.leonmege.com/portfolio/...1&collections=Three-Stone&stone_shape=Emerald

 

[sledge]

Wow @ILikeShiny, love this LM design although OP is out on the halo. Never seen one in EC before. Gorgeous.

 

[Snowdrop13]

This is the PS info page for radiants,

https://www.pricescope.com/wiki/diamonds/radiant-cut-diamond

 

[Matthews1127]

@vintageloves,
I’m thrilled you were able to see diamonds & settings up close & personal!! I’m certain that helped you narrow down your preferences, just a bit. Before we jump into the setting, and the 4 c’s, it seems we still need to discuss the cut, more, as you sound a bit confused, and not quite trusting the info you’ve been given by a self-proclaimed gemologist. I’m sure he is, and he believes the info he is providing is helpful, but it most certainly is not.

Here are key FACTS about Fancy Cut Diamonds (Radiants and Emerald Cuts are “Fancy Cut” Diamonds):

Fancy Cut Diamonds have no “set” suggested specs.

They vary in shape (square to rectangular).

They vary in facet size (very small to broad, thin to thick, and a combination of both).

They both show more body color than a traditional MRB stone, even when well cut. Of course, well cut radiants & EC’s hide more color than poorly cut radiants & EC’s.

PREFERENCE plays a HUGE role in selecting a fancy cut diamond. Not everyone who loves these cuts loves the SAME cut the SAME way.

Step cuts & brilliant cuts are two completely different monsters, and are evaluated similarly, but differently in terms of performance, bow tie effect, and facet placement/size, etc.

We need to steer clear of the settings, for now. First, we REALLY need to help you fall in love with a center stone...within good color range that will compliment a 3 stone semi-mount, without creating too much contrast between the center & the two sides. My suggestion: stay around F/G color range, unless you are customizing this ring with side stones, and you can go lower with all 3.

I have actually been assisting others with the Radiant v EC dilemma, in recent weeks. Once you make your decision between these two cuts, we can help you set it in its forever home.

I am terribly biased; I’m a step cut girl ALL THE WAY. I’m not shabby at spotting really pretty radiants, either.
I’d be happy to help you decide which cut sings to your heart.
I just have 1 question: what shape suits you best? Squatty/chubby, or more elongated/rectangular?
My preferred l x w ratio is between 1.40-1.50:1 (rectangular). Not everyone prefers my range.
What is yours?

 

[marymm]

OP, here's a fun (yet incredible useful) PS tool/toy -- it is the AGA Diamond Shape Selector -- there are a couple of ways to use it: (1) you have a diamond you're already interested in, with a GIA or AGL diamond report, so (1) you select the diamond shape from the selection running along the top of the box, (2) you type in its measurements in the Length and Width boxes, and (3) then hit "Calculate" and it returns with the ratio for that specific diamond.

You can also use it to figure out your preferred ratio, whether for an emerald-cut or a radiant, and simply enter imaginary numbers in the Length and Width boxes and hit "calculate" until you come up with the ratio your eyes prefer.

https://www.pricescope.com/tools/aga-diamond-shape-selector

 

[vintageloves]

I am definitely comfortable with buying online. I don't want to pay brick and mortar mark up, and I hate how at jewelry stores I feel like I know more than the person I'm talking to, and I know very little about gemstones.

I didn't get to test color sensitiveness because jewelers keep such low inventory, I was lucky to find one that had all those 2 carats, and those were all in the D-F range. For now, I'm still focused on G/F VS 2/1 stones.

I like my rectangles a bit squatter. 1.3 for emerald and 1.2 for radiant. I know the center stone is important, but with a 3 stone, I start thinking about it as a whole ring. I need to decide what overall look I want before deciding on a center stone. See, this is why my colored engagement stone is a solitaire. Much less fussy and less to think about. I'd also be curious to know how much a nice semi-mount might cost. The one from bluenile in 5K. So if that's what I can expect, I need to adjust my expectations for a center stone.

I really like these from the links given:

https://www.victorcanera.com/rings/engagement/radiant-and-trapezoid-trilogy

https://www.leonmege.com/portfolio/three-five-stone/emerald-cut-three-stone-ring-detail

I also found an example half moons with a radiant which also looked nice. I guess I don't have strong preference right now. My head is just swirling with "oooh, pretty!." I do like the trapaziod/emerald combo much more than the emerald/baguette combo.

 

[BlingDreams]

I am definitely comfortable with buying online. I don't want to pay brick and mortar mark up, and I hate how at jewelry stores I feel like I know more than the person I'm talking to, and I know very little about gemstones.

I didn't get to test color sensitiveness because jewelers keep such low inventory, I was lucky to find one that had all those 2 carats, and those were all in the D-F range. For now, I'm still focused on G/F VS 2/1 stones.

I like my rectangles a bit squatter. 1.3 for emerald and 1.2 for radiant. I know the center stone is important, but with a 3 stone, I start thinking about it as a whole ring. I need to decide what overall look I want before deciding on a center stone. See, this is why my colored engagement stone is a solitaire. Much less fussy and less to think about. I'd also be curious to know how much a nice semi-mount might cost. The one from bluenile in 5K. So if that's what I can expect, I need to adjust my expectations for a center stone.

I really like these from the links given:

https://www.victorcanera.com/rings/engagement/radiant-and-trapezoid-trilogy

https://www.leonmege.com/portfolio/three-five-stone/emerald-cut-three-stone-ring-detail

I also found an example half moons with a radiant which also looked nice. I guess I don't have strong preference right now. My head is just swirling with "oooh, pretty!." I do like the trapaziod/emerald combo much more than the emerald/baguette combo.

Whether it feels like it or not, you’re already making good progress in narrowing down what you like. Now that you’re finding things you like, start thinking about WHY you like them - the geometric form/overall outline on your finger, the sparkle of the cut, the subtle beauty of the cut, the uncommon (or common) design, etc. Also, as you try on rings, be sure to look at them in a mirror too; it’s amazing how different they can look that way!