When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond...

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

So, anyway, that was a very long way of saying who knows why people do or say the things that they do. It hurts to watch someone that you love and respect change into someone that you no longer recognize, and I think that some of that frustration has come out in your responses. You can't prevent your SIL from traveling the path that she is on. But you can control how you respond to it. I also think it's important to remember that we can't choose our family. I may not like the way my family member behaves sometimes but I have accepted that it is who he is and so long as his actions don't put my family at risk then it's best to leave him to his own devices. I KNOW that he isn't always a good person and I can tell YOU that, however, I don't necessarily want to hear DH go on and on about what an a$$ he is either. For whatever reason (right or wrong) it's ok for me to criticize a family member...it isn't quite so cool to hear someone else do it. Just a caution....I know your DH laughs along with you now...but deep inside he may wish that you wouldn't.

Very eloquently stated, Christina -- you always have the most articulate responses... I appreciate you weighing in.

I'm so sorry that your DS had to be involved in all that madness, but I don't think you could've handled it better than you did. Your actions were gracious, respectful, and protective of your DS's feelings. I think you're right about my DH and discussing this. Nothing has been mentioned for a bit, and I don't plan on bringing it up. If DH decides to go into it, I think it may be best for me to listen and empathize, but be careful to add any more commentary than is necessary. I know it bothers him, so why beat a dead horse, ya know?? Thanks again for your thoughts.

In my opinion, this is exactly why we come here to vent. It allows us to work through things and get insightful opinions so we can move on in a productive manner. I think your plan of attack (so to speak) on this topic is right on.

Thanks nicstm... I think it's always good to hear the thoughts of others and use their insight and wisdom to better handle life's rather sticky situations.

 

[Sky56]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I wish my SIL would talk BS about her jewelry instead of sniping at me about my faults, deficiencies and past mistakes! My brother did indeed marry a mean big-mouth. I'd rather hear bragging.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I thought only men exaggerate about size ...

 

[Polished]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

For her to be jealous seems crazy to me, as she is absolutely gorgeous with a rockin' bod, ridiculously thick naturally blonde hair, great career that she loves, sweet family, and a hot husband. DAMN THESE PEOPLE!! That said, I don't know what goes on in others heads. <shrugs>

It sounds like she is struggling with her sense of self and personal identity since marrying into money. She changed when she entered into this situation and perhaps somehow mistakenly believes she has to rise up to meet the money. It sounds like she is giving the money and wealth way too much power in her life. Your sense of security comes from within. You'd do her a favour by casually reminding her sometimes about her strengths and way of being before the $$$$'s entered the picture.

I think it's great that you and your husband can laugh and talk honestly about issues with family members. It's not malicious it's a coping mechanism. I'm grateful to be able to talk to my husband about my MIL as he knows her all too well. I just try to balance it out with positive stuff and caring about her.

 

[WillyDiamond]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

She should be whipped with a wet noodle for lying.
Who cares? Next.

 

[Niel]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

She should be whipped with a wet noodle for lying.
Who cares? Next.

no need to post if you dont care, just move on. no reason to be rude.

 

[Laila619]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I think your post came across as smug and snobby to some. That's probably why some people are reacting the way they are. You "win," you have the bigger diamond, so you can afford to be charitable and let her have her fun. After all, her lie isn't harming anyone.

 

[WillyDiamond]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

She should be whipped with a wet noodle for lying.
Who cares? Next.

no need to post if you dont care, just move on. no reason to be rude.

I do care, I think it is a very little deal, more important things to be concerned about, that was my point, not trying to offend anyone.
Best of luck in you dealing with the situation.

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I wish my SIL would talk BS about her jewelry instead of sniping at me about my faults, deficiencies and past mistakes! My brother did indeed marry a mean big-mouth. I'd rather hear bragging.

Ahhhhhhhh..... aren't in-laws fun??!!

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I thought only men exaggerate about size ...

This cracked me up!!

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

It sounds like she is struggling with her sense of self and personal identity since marrying into money. She changed when she entered into this situation and perhaps somehow mistakenly believes she has to rise up to meet the money. It sounds like she is giving the money and wealth way too much power in her life. Your sense of security comes from within. You'd do her a favour by casually reminding her sometimes about her strengths and way of being before the $$$$'s entered the picture.

I think it's great that you and your husband can laugh and talk honestly about issues with family members. It's not malicious it's a coping mechanism. I'm grateful to be able to talk to my husband about my MIL as he knows her all too well. I just try to balance it out with positive stuff and caring about her.

Polished, I think you are right on with this explanation. Thanks for sharing!

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I think your post came across as smug and snobby to some. That's probably why some people are reacting the way they are. You "win," you have the bigger diamond, so you can afford to be charitable and let her have her fun. After all, her lie isn't harming anyone.

Yeah... Although I've explained the situation to the best of my ability, there will still be those who may take things the wrong way. Sometimes I wonder if there are just certain individuals who want to put a negative spin on everything? <shrugs> Either way, I can't help that.

For the record, nobody wins in this situation -- there was never a "contest." Assuming my SIL continues with this new "personality," everyone loses. It's not about a diamond; that was simply the subject matter. DH and I just want her to stop this whole act -- it's off-putting and in bad taste. No one is hurt now, but at the rate she's going, it's only a matter of time until the lies get bigger and uglier.

Let's just hope this will pass.

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

She should be whipped with a wet noodle for lying.
Who cares? Next.

no need to post if you dont care, just move on. no reason to be rude.

I do care, I think it is a very little deal, more important things to be concerned about, that was my point, not trying to offend anyone.
Best of luck in you dealing with the situation.

You may think it's no big deal, but imagine how you might feel if you had a valid concern and were seeking insight. What if someone answered you this way? If you don't have anything constructive to add and clearly cannot or will not empathize, then I'd rather you didn't post... thanks.