When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond...

[momhappy]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I honestly dont know why you care.

I am fascinated by the fact that someone so close to us would blatantly lie when she knows how much I enjoy all things diamond -- and since she and her fiance made the big production in front of the family regarding the history of the stone and his band (his grandfathers)...

I guess that there are lots of things in life that I find fascinating, but worrying about the size of someone else's diamond is not one of them. Maybe she misspoke? I'm curious how your relationship is with them? It sounds like you guys have some issues with them?

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I honestly dont know why you care.

I am fascinated by the fact that someone so close to us would blatantly lie when she knows how much I enjoy all things diamond -- and since she and her fiance made the big production in front of the family regarding the history of the stone and his band (his grandfathers)...

DH and I would do the same thing- laugh about it. WHY lie? What's wrong with 1.5 carats? I know people like that. Who lie in big groups KNOWING that you are standing there and know the truth. Histrionic personality disorder.

So funny you wrote about this. Tonite at soccer one of my friends noticed my new ring. She totally flipped over it and asked SO loud, in front of EVERYONE "that is HUGE! Is that THREE carats?" I totally could have lied. But I said "No, it's two. I just have really small fingers."

EXACTLY, right??!!! That is one thing that I absolutely loathe... She's a drop-dead gorgeous girl who is is clearly intelligent (she has her Doctorate in a medical field), so why why WHY???? LOL

I'm glad I'm not the only one this bugs!! Thanks for posting!! Girl, don't you know... run in my SIL's circle and you can say you have a 3+ carat stone!! LOL

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

Ugh... gotta run. I hate to leave a thread!!! Gotta get home!

 

[braga123]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I enjoyed reading about your incident. I think a lot of people can relate to this type of situation, and you came here to share and vent and hear other similar stories, but this crowd (few exceptions) seems to be dismissing your post and worse yet, turning it into something that is not. I for one, get it. So thanks for sharing. I see that you ended the thread, but it's a shame. Posters should refrain from commenting if they have no interest in the topic.

 

[arkieb1]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

O.K so she is fabricating the truth because of;
a) she has been doing it for a while to try and impress their friends and forgot to stop lying to everyone else
b) she is insecure you have a bigger rock than her and has to get creative about the numbers to make herself feel better about it
c) she has other more important stuff on her mind and honestly forgot that it wasn't that big
d) she is thinking about swapping the pendant stone for the ring stone and is just testing the water in which case in the future her statement might become true....
e) she swapped the stone already, it IS actually 2 carats, and you didn't notice

Any or all of the options could be true. I have seen it done before usually by people who feel insecure and want to make themselves feel better that what they have is O.K and just as good as what everyone else has. I tend to agree if they didn't insure a 2 carat pendant then its probably got a much lower clarity than the ring or its a fake. Because if she has to lie about it and feel insecure about it and she owns a bigger rock then she would probably be wearing that on the hand.

Alternatively, the pendant might make an appearance on her hand or maybe they already did that and your eyes aren't picking up the fact she IS actually now wearing the 2 carat on her hand. In which case they would be currently laughing at you....

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I enjoyed reading about your incident. I think a lot of people can relate to this type of situation, and you came here to share and vent and hear other similar stories, but this crowd (few exceptions) seems to be dismissing your post and worse yet, turning it into something that is not. I for one, get it. So thanks for sharing. I see that you ended the thread, but it's a shame. Posters should refrain from commenting if they have no interest in the topic.

Hey braga! The thread's not ending I'm just in my car right now - HA!! I don't drive very well as it is so I thought it might be best if I wait till I get home!

 

[ame]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I still could not get the fact that she is not insuring her 2ct pendant. Is her pendant solitaire? or 2ctw? Here is another theory..... perhaps she pendant is not real diamond so to cover up she has to cover up adding for embellishments.

That's where my mind went.

Now, if it was my family member, blood, I seriously would've brought up the comments she made about size and said "so you upgraded from the family stone or you're no longer wearing it?" But unless I had issues with this person's dishonesty in the past I would roll my eyes and not bring it up again.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

Maybe she doesn't know anything about diamonds.

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

Thanks for "having my back," sox! (<---- yeah, I totally said that! HA!)

But, seriously... I appreciate it. And I did come on here to vent and it was meant to be shared as a funny story -- it was funny to my DH and me anyway! I really just wanted others to weigh in to help us try to figure out why people do this crap, but mostly I wanted others to share similar stories so we could all have a laugh!

To those of you who have experienced this or anything similar, please share! ...it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one scratching my head and rolling my eyes!

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I honestly dont know why you care.

I am fascinated by the fact that someone so close to us would blatantly lie when she knows how much I enjoy all things diamond -- and since she and her fiance made the big production in front of the family regarding the history of the stone and his band (his grandfathers)...

I guess that there are lots of things in life that I find fascinating, but worrying about the size of someone else's diamond is not one of them. Maybe she misspoke? I'm curious how your relationship is with them? It sounds like you guys have some issues with them?

I think you may be missing my point (bolded)... No one is worrying about anything to do with her diamond -- it's the embellishing (read: lying). And you may be right... she may have misspoken.

Honestly, we try to avoid them because of this type of behavior, although the SIL insists on us acting all BFF. I really do care for my SIL, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea -- but we are really getting put off by how she has been acting as of late (like in the last couple of months). I've only known her for about 4 years, but the hubs knows her probably better than most... He laughs and carries on, but I know deep down he worries about who she has become and why she feels the need to "drop names" and talk money all the time. Her new husband is from an affluent family and I think they might talk that way??? I don't know, as I can't say I've been around them too much. So, yes, we do have some issues, as stated above and in other posts in this thread. She's just changed into this snobby, stuck-up person who acts in poor taste by talking about wealth "having this and that..." and it's so irritating and sad at the same time.

 

[lin_ny]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

Seems like this doesn't really belong in RT.

My thoughts are - I could understand razzing her about it FOR FUN if she said it right to your face. But dwelling on the psychology behind why she said something or 'lied' or 'stretched the truth' or whatever you think she did, is a bit ridiculous. You don't want people to really answer your question - because you're not entertaining or replying to the few people who have actually tried to open your eyes to how juvenile this all is.

Let me get this straight - you're calling her a stuck-up snob who "acts in poor taste" by talking about "having this and that" while you're the one who's bragging "[my diamond]is clearly much larger than hers"?

Who cares. This is just a pissing contest.

 

[Laila619]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I read your response as to why you care, but I still don't get it. It's not a competition. It doesn't matter what size her diamond is, or what size yours is. Sounds like you're annoyed/miffed that she claimed to have a bigger diamond than you.

 

[SB621]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

Who cares. This is just a pissing contest.

+1. I can tell you none of my friends, SIL's, or mother/ MIL can tell me anything about their diamonds. They will roll their eyes at me for even asking. None of them care enough to have ever single stat memorized like I would. Sounds to me like your SIL was flippant because she doesn't really care. Also I don't see why she shouldn't make a huge fuss when she got engaged over her ring- I think we all do- I still do! You are supposed to be excitied when you first get a ring.

Don't create competition over silly things, it create much larger issues down the road in families.

 

[kenny]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

 

[Sakuracherry]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I feel like this thread should be move to hangout...

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I think she blurted it out b/c there's something fishy about that 2 ctw necklace - right????? It's a 2 ctw solitaire and not insured? Then, it's probably not a diamond, right? So, to make it make sense that she only insured the ring she panicked and lied. Really, I'm just glad the ring IS insured. A friend of mine ran and errand this summer and came back to find $30K of jewelry gone - ugh!!!!! I agree - just let it go!

I never really thought about this, but maybe... I really think it's a real diamond though... who knows! That sucks about your friend -- I hope everyone had their jewelry insured! I would cry if that happened!

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

O.K so she is fabricating the truth because of;
a) she has been doing it for a while to try and impress their friends and forgot to stop lying to everyone else
b) she is insecure you have a bigger rock than her and has to get creative about the numbers to make herself feel better about it
c) she has other more important stuff on her mind and honestly forgot that it wasn't that big
d) she is thinking about swapping the pendant stone for the ring stone and is just testing the water in which case in the future her statement might become true....
e) she swapped the stone already, it IS actually 2 carats, and you didn't notice

Any or all of the options could be true. I have seen it done before usually by people who feel insecure and want to make themselves feel better that what they have is O.K and just as good as what everyone else has. I tend to agree if they didn't insure a 2 carat pendant then its probably got a much lower clarity than the ring or its a fake. Because if she has to lie about it and feel insecure about it and she owns a bigger rock then she would probably be wearing that on the hand.

Alternatively, the pendant might make an appearance on her hand or maybe they already did that and your eyes aren't picking up the fact she IS actually now wearing the 2 carat on her hand. In which case they would be currently laughing at you....

Thanks for weighing in arkieb! Any one of these could be true... most likely A or D. I know she hasn't swapped the stones yet, but I hope she does!! I think that would be the logical thing to do (well, that's what I would do)!

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I still could not get the fact that she is not insuring her 2ct pendant. Is her pendant solitaire? or 2ctw? Here is another theory..... perhaps she pendant is not real diamond so to cover up she has to cover up adding for embellishments.

That's where my mind went.

Now, if it was my family member, blood, I seriously would've brought up the comments she made about size and said "so you upgraded from the family stone or you're no longer wearing it?" But unless I had issues with this person's dishonesty in the past I would roll my eyes and not bring it up again.

Hey ame! Good to see you on here! Even if she was blood, I just don't think I could say anything... just stirs the pot, ya know... (with my family it would anyway!!) That's so funny the comment you made (bolded) -- that's exactly what I'd want to say, but I guess I'm a big chicken! She's just changed... and not for the better. We're laughing about it, but only because we plan to spend a lot less time with them if it keeps up like this!

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

Maybe she doesn't know anything about diamonds.

Agreed, I don't think she really does... she's not that into it (well, not like the PS members!) We see a diamond and we think, "I'd love to check out the specs on that!" and she sees one and thinks, "ooooohhhh, shiny!" I think she just likes to talk big.

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

Seems like this doesn't really belong in RT.

My thoughts are - I could understand razzing her about it FOR FUN if she said it right to your face. But dwelling on the psychology behind why she said something or 'lied' or 'stretched the truth' or whatever you think she did, is a bit ridiculous. You don't want people to really answer your question - because you're not entertaining or replying to the few people who have actually tried to open your eyes to how juvenile this all is.

Let me get this straight - you're calling her a stuck-up snob who "acts in poor taste" by talking about "having this and that" while you're the one who's bragging "[my diamond]is clearly much larger than hers"?

Who cares. This is just a pissing contest.

Maybe it doesn't belong in RT, so if it needs to be moved that's fine by me. There have been other threads in RT that weren't 100% "diamond talk" that have been entertained and enjoyed, but... no big deal! It's mostly just for fun, after all.

As I've said before, I'd never do anything that would upset my SIL! I try not to be mean to anyone for that matter. Besides, it's not worth the potential strain it may pose to our relationship... And I do very much want to hear from others! The questions posed were (paraphrasing), "why do you think people do this?", "how would you react?", and "has this ever happened to you/what happened?"... there were more than a few that went waaaayyyy off track, which is fine I guess, but really those were the posts that weren't entertaining the questions.

And I have tried to answer every single post to the best of my ability, addressing as many things as I could -- so your thoughts on my "avoiding" posts simply untrue. I have not answered one poster in particular because I felt they were getting a little crazy, and quite frankly I felt kind of under attack. I agree with you about it being juvenile. Maybe it's juvenile to even talk about such things, but it was the juvenile action on her part (or at least how it seemed to me) that prompted this thread in the first place... just something to think about.

Regarding your remarks about bragging... I don't even know how to respond to that. I think your tone is hateful and accusatory. On PS, we tell people all the time what certain carat weights look like compared to each other, and I was only saying that to show how ridiculous her comments were. I couldn't care less how big her ring is -- the lying when everyone knows better... that's the deal. And for the few out there who don't already know this (which is probably not a lot, I'm assuming, since we are on PS...) there is a big visual difference in 1.5 and 2.5 ct MRB's... so to assume they look about the same is kinda dumb. I'm not perfect, but I'm certainly not a snob, which is why I hate to see her becoming so much like that.

Now, I've answered pretty much every post without being ugly or accusatory... including yours.

 

[msop04]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I noticed the last few posts were about competition. I think everyone is seriously missing the point of this thread, not to mention taking all the fun out of it. Maybe my tone comes across the wrong way??

No one is or has ever been in competition between the four of us... ever. So no "pissing contests" going on at all -- not necessary. I don't understand all the negativity and harsh words, but it's really not my place to try to... <shrugs>

Sooooo... here's a thought: if you take some form of offense or this angers you or whatever, then you really don't have to post. I'm honestly not being ugly by saying that either, regardless of what some may take from it. I only wanted to hear the reactions of others and some more funny stories. That's it, people. Is it a full moon or what??!!

For those of you who've played, thanks again for your opinions and for sharing your experiences!

 

[makhro82]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

They do it because of this quote I recently came across, "Comparison is the thief of joy."

In these times we are so connected in a way that we've never been before. Facebook, Instagram, online magazines, etc.( hello, Show me the Bling thread anyone?) make it almost impossible to be happy with what you have. Ten years ago I wouldn't see that an acquaintance from high school bought a Mercedes and listed it as a life event on their timeline or the amazing $3 million house an old middle school friend bought. In my circle I have a decent sized ring, a nice home and a hot husband (he's pretty hot outside my circle too). All things that I'm fairly happy with but the green monster sneaks up on all of us occasionally. Some of us as a result will lie about what we have. Others will use it as motivation to work harder. Those who want to be better will work on being grateful for what they do have. I'm trying to do the latter.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I got what you were trying to say and think many of us would have posted about such an experience. It's just like when people have huge settings with tons of melee and they add a carat or two to the weight of the center stone to report the diamond size! It is funny, but I think most people are clueless about how carat size equates to actual visual size. I do think it is very possible she got her numbers mixed up since the pendant is supposedly 2 cts. But I am also betting the pendant isn't real because why would you insure a 1.5 ct e-ring and not a 2 ct pendant? And isn't a 2 ct pendant kind of strange since it is larger than the e-ring stone (even if it is a family stone)?

 

[arkieb1]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I love that Kenny it is SO true!!!!

Why don't you click on the report concern button and move this to hangout its much more appropriate for there!!!!

 

[kenny]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

... why would you insure a 1.5 ct e-ring and not a 2 ct pendant?

Perhaps the 1.5 has very high color, clarity, and cut but the the 2 ct has the opposite.

 

[kenny]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I love that Kenny it is SO true!!!!

Thing is, not everyone is working on their personal growth.

 

[makhro82]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I love that Kenny it is SO true!!!!

Thing is, not everyone is working on their personal growth.

 

[yennyfire]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

They do it because of this quote I recently came across, "Comparison is the thief of joy."

I've never heard that before...how true it is!! Thanks for sharing it! Kenny, I also loved your post...also very true and hard to correct/improve on....

As to the original question...no, I've never had someone IRL lie to my face about a piece of jewelry. No one actually talks about it, short of commenting on a new piece "that's lovely! congrats on your anniversary" or whatever the occasion is. My guess is that either she totally spaced out or is insecure about her ring.

 

[Niel]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I suspect she probably annoys you or your brother for other reasons too.....


I had a friend in high school. She would lie about everything. Things i never realized until year later. Silly things like telling me she had a DVD at her house, but it hadnt been released yet. Telling me she called some guy and they were both the same place (ended up with a cute story at the end ) and well that guy didnt even have a cellphone, so that story was impossible. She lied about having brothers that she didnt have. Lied about her middle name.... she just lied

I ended up just not hanging out with her anymore. I couldnt trust anything she said so it just wasnt worth it.

Fast forward a to this year, i was feeling like she had change and i thought we could get a drink. She was talking about her recent e ring she got. Told me with a strait face that it was a 1 ct... i of course admitted my pear wasnt quite a ct and my new ring was only about 0.8 cts. Fun to admit your diamonds are smaller than someone's? meh, who cares i guess.

But we were talking recently as she wants to sell it and she told me it was smaller than she had originally represented. If she wasnt someone with a history of lying id just assume she wasnt that interested in rings, and didnt see think there was much difference in 13 points. But as we have a history I assume that wasnt the case. Shes a sweet girl and you guys will probably see the stone on LT soon, so again, not a comment on that , but i bet if this was an isolated incident it wouldnt bother you so much.

And shoot, i can attest, relationships with sister in laws are a tricky road to travel!!

 

[nowicanseethemoon]

Re: When someone embellishes about the size of their diamond

I thought your story was interesting and didn't get any bragging from you. I haven't had anyone lie to me about jewelry, but most people in my circle don't know or care. I am clearly the exception However, I have a lot of experience with lying (too much really). In this instance, my guess would be she lied because she knows the size of your ring and wants to compete with you. My guess is also that she thought her brother was clueless about diamonds (and he likely was before you met him) and that she could get away with it. She didn't tell YOU that about her ring. Know what I mean? Or it could be like Niel said and she just likes to lie - I think for some people lying can become an addiction. My ex-husband lied just to lie. He'd lie about the color of his shirt (while i was looking at the stupid thing). And once people start lying I think they lose track of who they told the truth and who the lie, so they just keep building. I think on some level it becomes an subconscious action - they don't even realize they're doing it.

But, like you, I would never confront someone about a jewelry lie. As long as you weren't trying to buy the piece anyway. I think it's sad to feel insecure about what is likely a lovely ring. The comparison quote is so absolutely true, and really important to remember, especially on here. I hope your SIL figures out that things don't equate to happiness and to embrace and appreciate the wonderful in her life (and maybe she does that - I hope so).