The Real Women of Pricescope

[Amethyste]

Date: 6/30/2009 11:33:52 PM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 6/30/2009 9:22:58 PM

Author: Haven

Date: 6/30/2009 4:00:14 PM


Author: gwendolyn


Sorry, but it gets under my skin a little bit when people get overly involved in appraising what''s ''appropriate'' for someone else, no matter how well they know you. I don''t even think it''s my mother''s place to know details of my finances, and she knows me better than probably anyone. My finances are between my partner and myself, and should be respected as off-limits.

I agree 100% with Gwennie.


You never know how people prioritize or what they do without in order to own what they believe is worth it. I''m 28, DH is 39, and I wear a 2 ct cushion e-ring, for which we paid cash. I''m a high school teacher, DH is a muscle specialist, we have collectively earned two bachelor''s degrees, three master''s degrees, and countless certifications in our particular specialties.


But none of that really matters. We know exactly what we want, what we value, and what we are willing to sacrifice in order to live exactly the way we want to, and according to our values. Others'' assessments of what we ''should'' or ''should not'' own don''t matter to us, because we are the ones who have to be happy with the lives we''ve created for ourselves.

Ditto Gwen and Haven. People can spend their money however they want. Last time I checked, PS was a diamond forum, yes? All diamonds are a frivolous luxury item, no matter how much money you make and how small your diamond is.


I think a thread on how hard we''ve all worked and how we paid for our diamonds are is more than a little ridiculous and unnecessary.

Oh ooopps, I am sorry that I bored everyone on how I paid for my diamond.... My bad!

 

[dashimurzi]

Mariposa--I wish you all the best. Good luck with a quick recovery!

ME: I''m 24, BA in Psych, currently working for a market research company. Want to do something different..but have not figured it out yet. I totally beat myself up over that.

Him: 26, self employed (construction field)

US: Both of us were born in Russia. I came here when I was 7, he came here when he was 21. We currently rent. We have very different views on money, because of our different up bringing. To him the worst thing in the world is debt, to me, it''s no big deal, lol

My Ring: It is a .9 or so perfect cut, colorless, vvs1, emerald cut,in a platinum setting. He got it from my dad (who is a jeweler, and owns a jewelry store). I love the diamond, and how it looks in a platinum setting. I am however, doing a little work for the head. I am adding a micro pave-Tacori style halo,and a few other extra touches, like a surprise pink diamond (most likely).

My Friends: Russians are unfortunately very materialistic, so all the guys get rings they end up paying off for another 10 years. Everyone tries to out-do the others. So their carat size ranges.

I am proud to say, my fiance is NOT one of those materialistic guys, and has paid off my ring before he even gave it to me. (he did get a great deal from my dad though)

 

[hoofbeats95]

I actually find this thread interesting. It''s fun to see what everyone does and also how old they are. Often times people on here do seem to have a ton of money. I''ve talked to a couple other PSers who have thought the same thing.

I have mixed feelings on the thread that prompted this one. I was disgusted when I read it. I TOTALLY understand not liking the ring. Some of you might remember my own story with my ering and all the stress that was involved. I had a lot of hurt feelings that I was not involved in choosing the ring. While the ring is a gift, it is a gift that the woman wears daily. I wanted input on that. However, it''s ultimately a gift . . . and asking for something larger is well. . . .ackward to say the least. 1.8 carats is a substantial chunk of money and going larger than that implies even more money. I ended up getting a "larger" ring in that I got a solitaire and the price was quite a bit more. The original ring had a small center stone and side stones so the price was significantly less. I HATED that I cost him more money. I felt horrible and like a selfish brat. Ultimately the solitaire was my style and the other ring. . . well it wasn''t my "forever" style. It was my style of the moment if you will. I would like to upgrade my ring in the future. I''m not happy with it honestly. Probably mostly because of the setting issues that I''ve had. But I would honestly like a larger size. Again, just my style. But in all honesty I''d love to pay for it myself to alleviate the guilt. That other thread. . . I don''t know. . . it just seemed so selfish. . .

Me: 30 - software developer (hate it!) B.S. in Math. I had a full tuition scholarship so no student debt. My parents could never ever have helped me pay for college.

Him: 37 - farmer. No college. I have no idea of his farm debt. I''d prefer not to ask. I grew up a farmer''s daughter and saw my parents declare bankruptcy

It was horrible. I never wanted the farm life after that. Kind of funny how life works.


Us: We live on the family farm (his Dad still has 1/3 of the farm) in a trailer. We are still paying on that. We would like to build a house. I HATE living in the trailer due to the size. I''d prefer a house over a wedding. We have no wedding plans at all. I have a car payment. I just paid off a CC debt. He has no CC debt. No vehicle payments now though he''s talking about buying a newer tractor. YIKES! Anyone know what farm equipment costs? It''s isn''t cheap! I have an expensive horse hobby so no real savings. He had an ok amount of savings but dropped $15K on a new Harley when he totalled his last year. Kind of funny how he has no problem dropping that kind of cash on a bike, but my ring. . .well that was an uncomfortable situation. It''s all about priorities I guess.

Ring: .72 F SI1 princess ACA. Setting - cheapy $300 cathedral setting from mall store (PIECE O''CRAP! that was a big mistake). I still wish I could have contributed to the ring. Would have been less stressful. But he''s a traditionalist.

 

[T L]

Date: 7/1/2009 9:32:23 AM
Author: hoofbeats95
I actually find this thread interesting. It's fun to see what everyone does and also how old they are. Often times people on here do seem to have a ton of money. I've talked to a couple other PSers who have thought the same thing.

I have mixed feelings on the thread that prompted this one. I was disgusted when I read it. I TOTALLY understand not liking the ring. Some of you might remember my own story with my ering and all the stress that was involved. I had a lot of hurt feelings that I was not involved in choosing the ring. While the ring is a gift, it is a gift that the woman wears daily. I wanted input on that. However, it's ultimately a gift . . . and asking for something larger is well. . . .ackward to say the least. 1.8 carats is a substantial chunk of money and going larger than that implies even more money. I ended up getting a 'larger' ring in that I got a solitaire and the price was quite a bit more. The original ring had a small center stone and side stones so the price was significantly less. I HATED that I cost him more money. I felt horrible and like a selfish brat. Ultimately the solitaire was my style and the other ring. . . well it wasn't my 'forever' style. It was my style of the moment if you will. I would like to upgrade my ring in the future. I'm not happy with it honestly. Probably mostly because of the setting issues that I've had. But I would honestly like a larger size. Again, just my style. But in all honesty I'd love to pay for it myself to alleviate the guilt. That other thread. . . I don't know. . . it just seemed so selfish. . .

Me: 30 - software developer (hate it!) B.S. in Math. I had a full tuition scholarship so no student debt. My parents could never ever have helped me pay for college.

Him: 37 - farmer. No college. I have no idea of his farm debt. I'd prefer not to ask. I grew up a farmer's daughter and saw my parents declare bankruptcy

It was horrible. I never wanted the farm life after that. Kind of funny how life works.


Us: We live on the family farm (his Dad still has 1/3 of the farm) in a trailer. We are still paying on that. We would like to build a house. I HATE living in the trailer due to the size. I'd prefer a house over a wedding. We have no wedding plans at all. I have a car payment. I just paid off a CC debt. He has no CC debt. No vehicle payments now though he's talking about buying a newer tractor. YIKES! Anyone know what farm equipment costs? It's isn't cheap! I have an expensive horse hobby so no real savings. He had an ok amount of savings but dropped $15K on a new Harley when he totalled his last year. Kind of funny how he has no problem dropping that kind of cash on a bike, but my ring. . .well that was an uncomfortable situation. It's all about priorities I guess.

Ring: .72 F SI1 princess ACA. Setting - cheapy $300 cathedral setting from mall store (PIECE O'CRAP! that was a big mistake). I still wish I could have contributed to the ring. Would have been less stressful. But he's a traditionalist.

HB!
Me too!!!

I didn't like my ering either, and not because it was too small, but because it was a pear (I'm not a fan of pears) and because it was a colorless diamond (not a fan, sorry!!). I'm like Amethyste, if I could go for a huge (5 carat +) colored diamond, I would go for it

. However, it is a huge amount of $$$, and unless I was super rich, I wouldn't get it. It is nice to dream though.

I love PS so much so I can drool at all the beautiful rings posted here!! The important thing is that you have a good loving relationship with your spouse since you can't put a price on that.

 

[dragonfly411]

Mariposa - my thoughts are with you in this tough time!


Me - 23 in school for nutrition and working for a company full time. Make ok wage wise, but nothing extravagant

Him - 21 developing his own landscaping company and also does plumbing on the side (his father is a plumber and I swear they are both gifted).

Our engagement isn''t right away, and I''ve already explained that I want nothing extravagant. He''s insisting on saving for a 1 carat, but I''d be just fine with 3/4 and really would probably feel more comfortable wearing that as well.

 

[KaeKae]

Mariposa, prayers, thoughts, and positive vibes going to you.



me: 43 yrs old, married, mom of 2. Currently a one-on-one aide to spec. ed student, though a certified teacher in another state. LOVE my job.

him: 43 yrs old, vp of manufacturing. Makes much, much more than me, but we and the bank have a large mortgage for our modest house because he got that great job here just two years ago. No problem, we pay our bills every month.

ring: .67 ct. K SI1 heirloom stone, set in a new white gold split shank setting updated just two weeks ago, for our 20th anniversary. Love it, and him, and don''t plan to change the stone, I just renewed the setting as the original (a yellow gold tiffany style solitaire) was really too small--though I kept shoving it on my finger-- and after all, we must allow our jewelry to grow and change in life just as we all do! (but ok, if he suddenly showed up with a 2 carat stunner, I''d wear that too. I''m sentimental, not crazy

)

 

[Loves Vintage]

KaeKae - You should start a SMTR thread of your ring. I''d love to see your stone, and I''m a huge fan of split shank settings.

Hoofbeats95 - How awesome that you live on a farm?!?! I''ve always wanted to, but I''m sure the lifestyle is not always as easy in reality as I have romanticized in my head!!

 

[KaeKae]

Date: 7/1/2009 10:29:49 AM
Author: Loves Vintage
KaeKae - You should start a SMTR thread of your ring. I''d love to see your stone, and I''m a huge fan of split shank settings.

Hoofbeats95 - How awesome that you live on a farm?!?! I''ve always wanted to, but I''m sure the lifestyle is not always as easy in reality as I have romanticized in my head!!

LV: I want to do that, but we left for a three week visit with family right after I got it back, so it will have to wait at least another couple weeks, when I get home. Then, I have to figure out how to post a picture! (That''s what the 13 yo daughter is for...) But I''ll get it done. It''s thanks to PS and every one''s amazing rings here that I decided on the new setting. It''s been so much fun!

 

[MMT]

Mariposa my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

 

[CharmCity]

Date: 6/30/2009 8:10:52 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
Mariposa, wishing you a speedy recovery


CharmCity, love your koi avatar.

It''s actually a picture of a koi cake that I made!

 

[CharmCity]

Hey 4ever, I''m eight years older than my husband. The older you get, the smaller the age difference feels!

 

[CharmCity]

Date: 6/30/2009 9:22:58 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 6/30/2009 4:00:14 PM

Author: gwendolyn

Sorry, but it gets under my skin a little bit when people get overly involved in appraising what''s ''appropriate'' for someone else, no matter how well they know you. I don''t even think it''s my mother''s place to know details of my finances, and she knows me better than probably anyone. My finances are between my partner and myself, and should be respected as off-limits.

I agree 100% with Gwennie.


You never know how people prioritize or what they do without in order to own what they believe is worth it. I''m 28, DH is 39, and I wear a 2 ct cushion e-ring, for which we paid cash. I''m a high school teacher, DH is a muscle specialist, we have collectively earned two bachelor''s degrees, three master''s degrees, and countless certifications in our particular specialties.


But none of that really matters. We know exactly what we want, what we value, and what we are willing to sacrifice in order to live exactly the way we want to, and according to our values. Others'' assessments of what we ''should'' or ''should not'' own don''t matter to us, because we are the ones who have to be happy with the lives we''ve created for ourselves.

I think you both are missing the point. This isn''t a thread about assessing what people "should or should not have". Of course some people want to keep their personal information off limits. That''s really easy, don''t post it.

The most interesting thing to me are the vastly differing norms of what''s "huge" and "small" in different areas. When we visit my husband''s family in West Virginia my ring is obscene, but where my family is from on Long Island it''s pathetic.

 

[Mariposa]

Sincerest thank yous to all the well-wishes. This has been the crappiest roller-coaster ride of my life. My greatest wish is that there is an end in sight that doesn''t equal death.

On a light note, here are some pics of my baby rings.

 

[Mariposa]

.

 

[Mariposa]

better one

 

[CharmCity]

Amethyste, I loved your story, thanks for taking the time to post it.

 

[yardley]

I find this thread perplexing. This is a diamond board, with the description of something to the effect of "brag shamelessly about your diamond ring."

I don''t care what people''s financial situations are, nor what their education levels are or how hard they worked their whole life to afford their diamond even though they are only 22 years old

(cue dramatic violin music). I''m interested in looking at pictures of jewelry. It is kind of irritating to read some of the posts in this thread, which basically amount to a description of why the poster thinks they deserve to own the jewelry they have. If you have to justify it...

Just my opinion!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 7/1/2009 11:35:25 AM
Author: yardley
I find this thread perplexing. This is a diamond board, with the description of something to the effect of ''brag shamelessly about your diamond ring.''

I don''t care what people''s financial situations are, nor what their education levels are or how hard they worked their whole life to afford their diamond even though they are only 22 years old

(cue dramatic violin music). I''m interested in looking at pictures of jewelry. It is kind of irritating to read some of the posts in this thread, which basically amount to a description of why the poster thinks they deserve to own the jewelry they have. If you have to justify it...

Just my opinion!

If you feel that there is too much bragging here, then I question why you started a thread showing off all the diamonds you own:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-small-collection.116391/

It seems odd that people would be posting their income, but it''s pretty much a given that if you do not like the thread, do not read or participate in it.

 

[yardley]

MC, I have no problem with people showing off their jewelry. As I said above, that is exactly what this forum is for. And that is exactly why I visit -- to see people''s jewelry! Pictures always seem to be welcome, so I posted mine as well.

My point is -- I think there is no need for anyone here to justify their jewelry collection by revealing their personal financial details, car payments, debt-to-income ratio, etc.

 

[vespergirl]

First, I want to wish Mariposa a speedy recovery. What you''re going through right now is awful, and you are in my thoughts.

Regarding the cost of rings, everyone has a different financial situation. At the time that my husband bought my ring 3 years ago, we both owned homes, had no student loans or debt except for mortgage and car payments, and he was earning a six-figure salary. He was in his mid-30s, and living frugally, with roommates. He had six figures of savings, and wanted to spend about two-months salary on my ring. When he purchased it, he paid cash for it, and we still had enough money left over to pay for our wedding in cash, and to put a down payment on a new house together. In the three years that he has been married, he has earned his MBA, and has more than doubled what was then a low six-figure salary. He works an average of 12 hours a day, and puts a large chunk of his paycheck every week into savings, and we have already started stashing away a respectable college fund for my son, who is only 2. He is a hard worker in a difficult but high-paying industry, and he makes a lot of money for his company, so he is well-rewarded for it. If he were to buy me the engagement ring today with his two-month salary rule, I would have probably gotten a 3 carat, and he would have been able to pay cash for it.

There is a difference between the ring a 21 year old with students loans can provide, and a what a 35 year old with a home, no debt and a graduate degree can provide. It''s about what each family can comfortable afford. I agree that it''s totally silly for a couple to put themselves in financial jeopardy for a piece of jewelry, but if a couple can afford a larger stone without killing their savings, I have no problem with that.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 6/30/2009 12:25:07 PM
Author:CharmCity
I would REALLY like to know what kinds of jobs you and your husbands have and how they relate to these GORGEOUS rings that have me addicted to this site. In my head you have to be a millionaire to be able to have a 2+ karat diamond!

This is the post that started this thread. Folks interpreting people's specific answers to this question as them "justifying" their jewelry is a judgment that comes from the *reader* not necessarily the intent of the person responding.

ETA: Best wishes, Mariposa. I admire your strength ... and those divine sparklies too.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 6/30/2009 1:21:05 PM
Author: Mariposa
I just want to say that I''m in total agreement with you. I actually had the misfortune of reading that post while I was at the hospital getting my 22nd round of chemotherapy. Needless to say I had nothing nice to sat about it, so I said nothing. The more I thought about it, the more it got to me...come on! Some people have REAL problems.

Me - 33 years old, on disability for stage 4 colon cancer, was diagnosed 4 months after marriage. Used to be a Histotech at a large hospital. 4 year degree + 2 year certification

Hubby - 35, attorney, $150k in debt for law school loans

Ring - 0.58ct ACA set into a gorgeous Van Creaynest set.

Mariposa

 

[ms.halo]

Date: 7/1/2009 11:17:32 AM
Author: CharmCity
This isn't a thread about assessing what people 'should or should not have'.

Honestly, it seems to me like this is where the thread is going. I've really enjoyed reading about everyone, but sometimes diamond size is more than just about the couple's age, job and income. It's also about a person's background, location and sometimes ethnicity.

At any rate...

Me: 32, environmental public outreach (specialize in water quality and conservation and energy efficiency)
Him: 32, scientific consultant

We live in Los Angeles, where he grew up. I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico and went to school in Texas. We also lived in San Francisco at the beginning of our marriage.

Ring: The first was a 1.03 princess that was given to me while my DH was finishing his PhD. Honestly, it was always too small for me and not my ideal shape. In my area and with my circle of friends and family, 1 ct. is the absolutely smallest size. For our fifth anniversary he gave me a beautiful 1.7 RB in a halo. Here it is--sorry the picture was taken with my computer in my darkly lit office (we conserve by using skylights only in the summer and it's cloudy out today). My ring finger size is 5.25.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Noneya Bees nest.

Paid cash for what he could afford at the time. No 3 month rule, no consideration for what my friends had...just picked a number based what he thought was suitable and never looked back.

Same for the wedding

- picked a cash amount we could part with without putting us in a bind and went from there.




Geez us girls will analyze everything to death.

 

[DiamondFlame]

Hello, ladies. Interesting thread for the kind of personal info shared. I was trying to draw some correlation between income and size of stone and honestly I can''t find any. I guess people generally buy what they feel is appropriate, and what they can manage financially. Big is not always beautiful. Small does not mean you couldn''t afford bigger ones. A person who measures his/her self worth by the size of the bling is poor indeed. A ring is just that, a ring.

 

[partgypsy]

Mariposa, I love your wedding set, so beautiful with the engraving. I wish you the strength to get through this process, and compassion and love from the people around you.

I am probably not the typical "real woman of pricescope" because our household doesn''t make a large salary and my attendant diamond is not large (thank goodness I like small(er) diamonds on me). For me Pricescope is a place to escape, to look at pretty things, to chat about our personal lives and current events. While a small percentage of the population, there are certainly a large number of households with very large incomes, to whom buying a 2 carat (or a 400K house, or a 50K car, etc) is not a big deal. When someone sports a larger diamond, I make no value judgements as I assume they have the means to afford it. Someone who is at mimimum wage would probably look askance at me buying organic milk and other delicious but not strictly essential food items. Most probably with the current economic situation many people may be re evaluating how they spend their money, but that is a good thing. Hopefully everyone will be more responsible with their money, not just for jewelry but all facets. But it is up to each individual to make those decisions.

 

[VRBeauty]

Mariposa: I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. Here's wishing you strength and healing! BTW I love

that beautifu Van Crayenest wedding set.

Date: 7/1/2009 1:22:42 PM
Author: iwannaprettyone
Noneya Bees nest.

Ditto! I trust that won't impinge on my RWOPS standing...

 

[BKmommy]

First, Mariposa, prayers headed your way. You give a much needed reality perspective to all of us. I also read the thread, and like you had nothing nice to say... so I followed my mom''s advice...

I don''t think anyone here knows me, which is probably because I lurk more than I post.

I feel like I know so many of you (or your gorgeous rings, at least

). Anyway, I thought I''d weigh in.

Me, 35, stay-home mom of 3 kids. Married 9 years last March. About $9000 of student loans left, and some stupid credit card debt.
Him, 32, Pharm sales rep, makes between 70-80K. Has about the same in student loans left, and also some stupid credit card debt. Add in the minivan (which we swore we were too cool to ever own when we were single, LOL) and it''s around $30,000 between the two of us. That''s without the mortgage.

I had a BEEAUUUTIFUL .34 RB solitaire in a white gold tiffany setting that I''m still sick over losing. Some may think it was tiny, but the cut & color on that thing made it just breathtaking.

We could get a replacement now, but want to avoid more debt. Anyone familiar with Dave Ramsey? We just started our ''debt snowball'' and expect to be debt free in about 18 months. Can''t wait! My ring was average to maybe a little below average among my peers. When I told my sis we were engaged & mentioned the ring she said, "What? It took me eight years of marriage to get my 1/3 carat!" LOL Her hubby is now a leiutenant colonel in the AF, and they have 3 girls and a big gorgeous new house .

I''m here because the idea of my perfect ring is ever changing, and because I love learning about and looking at all shapes, sizes, and colors of diamonds. I like it so much, that I want to study to be a gemologist as soon as my youngest child is in preschool. Right now, I''m loving the full time mommy gig!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 7/1/2009 12:15:45 PM
Author: yardley
MC, I have no problem with people showing off their jewelry. As I said above, that is exactly what this forum is for. And that is exactly why I visit -- to see people's jewelry! Pictures always seem to be welcome, so I posted mine as well.

My point is -- I think there is no need for anyone here to justify their jewelry collection by revealing their personal financial details, car payments, debt-to-income ratio, etc.

That was the reason for this thread though. . .asking about financial position (CharmCity even brought up her situation in the first post!). Like I said, if you don't like the subject matter than don't read the responses.

And, FWIW, I do not see the people as justifying their collections, but being proud of how they chose to live their lives to purchase the diamonds of their dreams.

 

[yardley]

MC -- I see what you mean, point taken. Back to jewelry gawking for me.