meanest thing you have heard someone say about someones e-ring?

[Gussie]

I was a junior leaguer for a few years. They ladies in JL have a bit of a reputation for being snotty. Not all are, but a lot of the ladies in my chapter thought very highly of themselves. One queen bee would make a point of doing this overly sickly sweet routine anytime someone got engaged and would announce “well isn’t this just dainty!” with a big fake smile. Didn’t matter the size, it was “dainty”.

I know mean girls like this. Pray for them; they need it!

 

[missy]

I know mean girls like this. Pray for them; they need it!

Mean girls are generally insecure, unhappy, angry, lack self esteem and confidence. I agree with you @ceg, they need help and compassion and good role models before it is too late and they become mean adults.

Studies indicate that mean girls have traits that can lead to long term unhappiness and depression.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ed-address-mean-girl-behavior-early-and-often

 

[Dandi]

Not mean per say, but good for a laugh at any rate...

I was engaged reasonably young (22) and had a beautiful 1.4ctw 3 diamond ring, which for my demographic here in Australia, is fairly large. I worked for a jeweller at the time. A lady came into the store one day and told me she was after a 3 stone ring. I showed her mine to get a gauge on the size and proportions she had in mind. She told me that yes, my ring was exactly what she had in mind, the only difference being she wanted REAL diamonds

My boss was behind me and had to leave the room as she could barely contain her laughter!

 

[MeowMeow]

Not mean per say, but good for a laugh at any rate...

I was engaged reasonably young (22) and had a beautiful 1.4ctw 3 diamond ring, which for my demographic here in Australia, is fairly large. I worked for a jeweller at the time. A lady came into the store one day and told me she was after a 3 stone ring. I showed her mine to get a gauge on the size and proportions she had in mind. She told me that yes, my ring was exactly what she had in mind, the only difference being she wanted REAL diamonds

My boss was behind me and had to leave the room as she could barely contain her laughter!

Wow people are bold!!!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I was a junior leaguer for a few years. The ladies in JL have a bit of a reputation for being snotty. Not all are, but a lot of the ladies in my chapter thought very highly of themselves. One queen bee would make a point of doing this overly sickly sweet routine anytime someone got engaged and would announce “well isn’t this just dainty!” with a big fake smile. Didn’t matter the size, it was “dainty”.

I have to wonder whether those queen bees said “Well isn’t this just dainty” when they first saw their husbands’ BFF’S

 

[sunandsky]

We got engaged in France then took the train to northern Italy so that I could meet my husband's parents on the weekend. My husband bought me a tiny 18K gold ring with two 1-point diamonds in it. I loved it. It was very delicate and just my style. When my mother-in-law to be saw it, she cried. I just thought she was sentimental, but my husband (then fiancé ) told me it was because there wasn't a third diamond in there for her. (He did not have a good relationship with his mother, although she always wanted to be close to him.)

I'm sorry my ring looks so battered in this photo. It actually still looks good in normal light.




AGBF

AGBF, I *love* your ring

 

[AGBF]

AGBF, I *love* your ring

Thank you so much.

 

[strawrose]

I read this a while ago: A couple went to pandora to buy a cz ring. The sales lady was rude and commented that the guy was cheap, even though it was exactly what the girl wanted.

 

[strawrose]

We got engaged in France then took the train to northern Italy so that I could meet my husband's parents on the weekend. My husband bought me a tiny 18K gold ring with two 1-point diamonds in it. I loved it. It was very delicate and just my style. When my mother-in-law to be saw it, she cried. I just thought she was sentimental, but my husband (then fiancé ) told me it was because there wasn't a third diamond in there for her. (He did not have a good relationship with his mother, although she always wanted to be close to him.)

I'm sorry my ring looks so battered in this photo. It actually still looks good in normal light.




AGBF

Pardon me for asking: what does the three stone ring signify?

 

[farrahlyn]

My (male) cousin told me straight up when i got engaged that he didn't like my ring at all and asked if i was sure i didnt want to return it and pick out something else. (my DH had picked it out himself so this wae ESPECIALLY RUDE.) Cuz is a very classic, MRB, solitaire kinda guy and my ring was a very unusual marquise bypass setting with baugettes. This was 20 years ago and i still remember it like it was yesterday!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Pardon me for asking: what does the three stone ring signify?

Your Ex husband, your now husband and your future husband.

 

[strawrose]

Your Ex husband, your now husband and your future husband.

Large: pre-bling bank account. Medium: one ring bank account. Super large: credit card debt after buying 5

 

[Calliecake]

Your Ex husband, your now husband and your future husband.

LOL @Dancing Fire. Thank you for the laugh.

@strawrose , The 3 stone ring is supposed to signify Past, Present and future with the same man.

 

[strawrose]

LOL @Dancing Fire. Thank you for the laugh.

@strawrose , The 3 stone ring is supposed to signify Past, Present and future with the same man.

Thanks, but I am familar with the “past, present, future” marketing scheme. The question was why did the mother in law cried when the 3rd diamond wasn’t present? Was the third one supposed to signify the mother in law? Different cultures have different meanings to rings, so it would be interesting to learn what this means.

 

[Dancing Fire]

LOL @Dancing Fire. Thank you for the laugh.

@strawrose , The 3 stone ring is supposed to signify Past, Present and future with the same man.

Husbands.

 

[AGBF]

Thanks, but I am familar with the “past, present, future” marketing scheme. The question was why did the mother in law cried when the 3rd diamond wasn’t present? Was the third one supposed to signify the mother in law? Different cultures have different meanings to rings, so it would be interesting to learn what this means.

The answer is in the body of the thread. My late mother-in-law never verbalized a desire to have a diamond "for her" in the ring. My husband (then fiancé) was just taking the opportunity to get in a dig at her with his comment that she wanted a diamond for herself in the ring. He found her enormously overbearing and spent his life trying to get away from her. Some of you know I have an Israeli great-nephew who is like a son to me. That is because my husband's older sister moved to Israel as soon as World War II ended. She was in her late teens. She got married and had a baby right away so her older child (my husband's nephew) is only a few years older than my husband.

My husband always asked me if I thought it was a coincidence that his mother's two children moved as far away from her as they could get: one to Israel and one to the United States?

Deb

 

[strawrose]

The answer is in the body of the thread. My late mother-in-law never verbalized a desire to have a diamond "for her" in the ring. My husband (then fiancé) was just taking the opportunity to get in a dig at her with his comment that she wanted a diamond for herself in the ring. He found her enormously overbearing and spent his life trying to get away from her. Some of you know I have an Israeli great-nephew who is like a son to me. That is because my husband's older sister moved to Israel as soon as World War II ended. She was in her late teens. She got married and had a baby right away so her older child (my husband's nephew) is only a few years older than my husband.

My husband always asked me if I thought it was a coincidence that his mother's two children moved as far away from her as they could get: one to Israel and one to the United States?

Deb

I’m sorry that your husband had to deal with that. I can totally relate with my own mother.

 

[AGBF]

I’m sorry that your husband had to deal with that. I can totally relate with my own mother.

Then I am sorry that you had to deal with a difficult mother! I had plenty of turmoil in my life, but my parents were both a joy. I was blessed in that respect.

Feel free to vent about your mother if it would make you feel better! This thread has a bit of everything now.

Deb

 

[strawrose]

Then I am sorry that you had to deal with a difficult mother! I had plenty of turmoil in my life, but my parents were both a joy. I was blessed in that respect.

Feel free to vent about your mother if it would make you feel better! This thread has a bit of everything now.

Deb

What great parents! Your husband is lucky to have them as in-laws.

Let’s just say that her relationship with grandma was the exact same situation, until I taught myself boundaries. My husband eased into my life, teaching me to let go and enjoy the present.

The cycle turned me off from having kids, because I do not want them to have the same misery passed onto them.

 

[Cerulean]

I used to have a terrible boss. I mean, AWFUL. She played all sorts of mind games, was totally passive aggressive and had my other teammate and I walking on pins and needles. She was also very competitive with us both and constantly put us down.

A young male coworker the 1st day I came into the office said something like "WOW, now that's a big rock!" He was being nice. My original e-ring had an M-colored, 2 carat stone. Not the best cut. But we didn't know anything about diamonds at the time, I had just discovered PS.

Needless to say, my boss who was within earshot, snidely remarked that of all of the 4cs, size was the least important. That I had clearly picked size. She asked what store I had got it from, she was a brand name fanatic and new that it wasn't designer. I was dumbstruck.

She had a nice sized engagement ring (I would guess 1.25 carats?), a classic solitaire, but admittedly - very included and always really dirty (yuck). She had a new upgraded engagement ring from Cartier a week after I got engaged and flaunted it around the office in front of me. My coworker was convinced that she got a new one because of me.

Gosh she made me feel just terrible. I stopped wearing it to work after that. And then I got a new job

 

[jaaron]

I was a junior leaguer for a few years. The ladies in JL have a bit of a reputation for being snotty. Not all are, but a lot of the ladies in my chapter thought very highly of themselves. One queen bee would make a point of doing this overly sickly sweet routine anytime someone got engaged and would announce “well isn’t this just dainty!” with a big fake smile. Didn’t matter the size, it was “dainty”.

When my best friend got engaged, it was a very lovely band of what I now know (but didn't at the time) were smallish oecs, graduated down in size from the centre--I think five stones across. They were both flat broke med students, doing residencies at a hospital in a tough area and she wanted something modest and low set. When her grandmother, who was a classic southern belle (also a raging alcoholic, but that's another story), saw it, she said, "Oh, my, what a clever way to wear small diamonds."

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

When my best friend got engaged, it was a very lovely band of what I now know (but didn't at the time) were smallish oecs, graduated down in size from the centre--I think five stones across. They were both flat broke med students, doing residencies at a hospital in a tough area and she wanted something modest and low set. When her grandmother, who was a classic southern belle (also a raging alcoholic, but that's another story), saw it, she said, "Oh, my, what a clever way to wear small diamonds."

That's one sad grandma

 

[Cerulean]

When my best friend got engaged, it was a very lovely band of what I now know (but didn't at the time) were smallish oecs, graduated down in size from the centre--I think five stones across. They were both flat broke med students, doing residencies at a hospital in a tough area and she wanted something modest and low set. When her grandmother, who was a classic southern belle (also a raging alcoholic, but that's another story), saw it, she said, "Oh, my, what a clever way to wear small diamonds."

 

[inne]

I got married very young and didn't have an engagement ring. But I did have a thin diamond eternity band as a wedding ring. At my wedding, a woman I didn't know came up to me, asked to see my ring, and said, "It's so pretty. No one will know it isn't real!"

It made me sad because it seemed like it was meant to make me feel bad. I thought saying "it IS real" would sound tacky, so I just said thank you and ended the conversation. 18 years later it still mystifies me. Why say that??

 

[Petalouda]

After I got engaged a couple acquaintances would ask me about my ring ( where my husband got it etc). I was honest and said Tiffany’s and then I swear everyone had the same comments along the lines of “wow he overpaid for a ring everyone has. My ring/ future wife’s ring will be unique and NOBODY else will have it.” Ok, nice. Thankfully most people either didn’t care or thought it was beautiful. I’m all for honesty but not in situations like these when I didn’t ask their opinion nor did I even bring up my ring myself as I’m low key about my stuff ( except on pricescope!)

I agree with Missy’s comment above. In my own family of origin which was rife with dysfunction and through my interactions and observations with other people; I have never once met anyone who was mean and petty AND happy with their life. Not even content or satisfied. They were all miserable and lacking something. Criticizing others was a deflection; a way to avoid personal introspection. That realization helped me stop taking petty behavior personally.

 

[missy]

I agree with Missy’s comment above. In my own family of origin which was rife with dysfunction and through my interactions and observations with other people; I have never once met anyone who was mean and petty AND happy with their life. Not even content or satisfied. They were all miserable and lacking something. Criticizing others was a deflection; a way to avoid personal introspection. That realization helped me stop taking petty behavior personally

Yes, this is key. If one is happy and content and at peace with their life they don't go out of their way to be mean towards others or say not nice things about others. Threadack below in italics. Please feel free to skip. Not critical to this discussion. Just shows where I am coming from re my thoughts.

A little threadjack to explain my thought process. Not to get too personal but a few years ago I became friends with 2 women I thought I would always be friends with. Well one of them always spoke badly about others behind their backs. People we were friends with in the group. So I quickly realized that was not going to be a life long friendship because if someone is always speaking badly about everyone you know who the problem is. Plus I don't like to gossip nor speak badly about others. It goes against me and who I am. If I have something to say I will say it to your face. Not behind your back. The other woman went along with her. This person was someone I thought would be a life long friend. I didn't realize it at the time but she was always telling me what she thought I wanted to hear. It took me sometime to realize this though because I always believe the best in someone until they keep showing me who they really are. It is hard to accept someone isn't who I thought they were. I had invested a lot of time and energy into this relationship too so it was harder for me to "get it" if you kwim.

It took me time but I eventually realized it was their dysfunctional history driving their unpleasant behavior. The nasty talking behind others backs etc. It was all about them and nothing about the people they were talking about. When I realized they were a product of their childhood and young adult experiences I felt sympathy towards them and the ill will I was initially feeling dissipated. It took me time to get to that point but I finally had an aha moment and felt more compassion towards them than dislike. But I went through a lot to get to that point. I guess I was fortunate I had never experienced that kind of dysfunctional relationship with anyone else ever before this.

During this time I refused to play their game they froze me out and tried to bad mouth me to the girls in our group. Most of the girls knew who I was and knew it was BS. And in fact I remain very close with 3 of the women in that original group. I love these ladies so much and they have stood by me through thick and thin as I have them.

However, by that time the original 2 women had also shown their true colors to most of the other girls in our group. In fact they froze them out too. The experience initially hurt my feelings as I did nothing to deserve that treatment but I have accepted it for what it is. Not everyone is going to like me nor do I want everyone to like me (because I am who I am and I am not going to change that to get someone to like me-like me for who I am not for who you want me to be) but I don't enjoy having lies spread about me nor someone thinking something about me that is unfair and untrue. However, we have no control over what other people think or do and it is truly NONE of my business what others think of me.

I am human though and I am sensitive and I have feelings. If you cut me I bleed. Sometimes I will lash out to defend myself. I don't always turn the other cheek. I am not perfect. I made mistakes during this experience. This was the very first time I had anyone behave so duplicitously and with IMO malice on one of their parts. The other woman I don't believe behaved with malice. She just behaved IMO foolishly but as I wrote none of us are perfect. From this experience I learned and grew as an individual. And that is the key. Learning as we go and doing the best we can and always trying to be a better person.

I handled things in not the best way when I got hurt and for that I am sorry. But I am not sorry that I am no longer friends with the original person. Life is better without toxicity and we all click with different individuals for whatever reason just as others rub us the wrong way. That is the way life goes. We won't be friends with everyone we meet or even like everyone and that is OK. I wrote this in another post but it bears repeating. I feel no ill will towards this person and wish only the best for her. I grew from this experience and despite my advanced age (even at that time haha) I learned from it and am better for it.

So yes, those who are unhappy individuals behave in a way that can be not nice and unpleasant and make comments that are less than kind. That has nothing to do with who they are talking about and everything to do with their life experiences up to this point. I feel only sadness in my heart now when someone behaves this way. Think about what they went through to get to that point and it is very sad. Everyone deserves a happy and emotionally healthy childhood. Everyone. But not everyone gets that and it can have consequences.

Just to add not everyone who experiences a challenging childhood behaves this way. Not at all. Just to say it can explain why some do.

If we can all live our best life and do as much good as possible along the way and be happy too, that is the most we can ask for from this life. I don't agree with the Peggy Lee song "Is That All There Is" but oh I do love that song. But I digress.

Sorry for the long a little off topic post but thanks for letting me share.

 

[missy]

When my best friend got engaged, it was a very lovely band of what I now know (but didn't at the time) were smallish oecs, graduated down in size from the centre--I think five stones across. They were both flat broke med students, doing residencies at a hospital in a tough area and she wanted something modest and low set. When her grandmother, who was a classic southern belle (also a raging alcoholic, but that's another story), saw it, she said, "Oh, my, what a clever way to wear small diamonds."

LOL and Oy to the Vey. Wouldn't some people in the South respond to her comment oh, my what a cover way to wear small diamonds with "Well, Bless her heart"

 

[Arcadian]

I didn't have a ring which was my choice. A used to be friend ask me if I didn't get one because he didn't love me enough. people are such *******s, I was not feeling that response, so you know, I asked her why her attitude and her face was so damn ugly.

You would think that people know better.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@Arcadian that is horrific for someone to say about someone's ring but your response is golden!

 

[Arcadian]

@Arcadian that is horrific for someone to say about someone's ring but your response is golden!

In my family the saying is "don't dish if you can't take it" . It kinda slipped out.

She knew what she was trying to do because she said it in front of others, but it backfired because I guess I was supposed to be embarrassed? She was a 2nd tier friend so obvs, did not know me that well...