Mark Morrell. 3 years. I never gave her the ring!!

[kenny]

I understand all the women not wanting (or worse) a ring designed for another woman.

But then why are you all willing to take a stone selected for another woman, after resetting it?

Karma is karma.
No?

 

[dtnyc]

Date: 12/15/2006 10:58:38 AM
Author: kenny
I understand all the women not wanting (or worse) a ring designed for another woman.

But then why are you all willing to take a stone selected for another woman, after resetting it?

Karma is karma.

Personally I look at the stone as being a commodity in a sense. Yes lots of effort can go into finding the right stone, but it''s a large RB stone w/ great specs. It''s the setting and side stones that can "make the ring." That''s where the personality/style is.

 

[autumngems]

I''ve got to reply to this. I love the ring, it is gorgeous. However I say take the center stone out, put in a sapphire or some equallly lovely stone and give it as a special day gift. Take the center stone and you and your girl come up with a new and equally lovely design that represents both of you and go from there.

 

[dtnyc]

I just did a search and found this old post you might find interesting-

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/sigh-leftover-ring-dilemma.52998/=

 

[Midway]

I understand that the moral issue is much more fascinating to discuss but that''s not really what the OP asked about. (And, in fact, he specifically asked that people take the moral issue out of it.) So, for me, I say it''s most important if the OP feels like this ring is something that his girlfriend will really love. I think it''s great that he poured his heart and soul (with the help of a very talented jeweler) into designing this ring. But he designed it with a picture of someone else''s preferences.

I think the biggest issue is whether she likes the three-stone look or not. I discussed the same thing with my gf and she said that for an engagement ring, she definitely prefers a solitaire. I think that can be very important to some women. So, I agree with someone else''s suggestion. Look at a few rings together, if she likes this style then I''d see no reason not to use this ring. If she doesn''t, then consider a change. The most important thing is you want her to look at the ring and love it. I agree with almost everyone here, the ring is beautiful. (What else would you expect from Mark Morrell). But if it''s not suited to her wants, then it''s a beautiful ring that''s not quite right (completely apart from its past).

 

[Olive Oil]

Date: 12/14/2006 9:40:20 PM
Author: kenny
You could buy a ring for $5 and propose with that telling her you will talk about the real ring tomorrow.


That way the evening is special and not clouded with this issue, you didn''t conceal anything and you can tell her all about the ring in the morning.

I think this is an excellent idea! Of course, you need to be prepared for her to say she doesn''t want any part of that ring, and be willing to work with that. It will also give you a better idea of her tastes. I prefer smaller stones, 1 carat or smaller, and would feel really uncomfortable wearing something so large, even if I thought it was beautiful. But I don''t think I would have the heart to say anything to my boyfriend if he got me something larger.

As for your original question, I like it with the trillians. Normally I prefer pears, I think that in that particular ring, pears would look fuuny.

And for the record, I am the kind of girl who would be all out horrified if my boyfriend proposed with a ring meant for someone else. I''d probably be uncomfortable with the stone too. But, she may be different.

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Date: 12/13/2006 8:44:51 PM
Author: candide
Thank you.

My two major concerns were:

1) the triangular bias of trielles contrasted too sharply with the center round brilliant
2) the fact that I asked Mark to set the center stone low so as to not have her bump things and not be to flashy has taken away from the true look of my $$$$$$ 2.86 AGS0 HCA0.6 center and made it look like a HUBCAP!! Am I being paranoid?

I am going to stay away from the moral issue and address the questions asked.
I agree with you on number 1 above. I am not crazy about the trielles, although I really like the look of pear side stones (take a look at Kristy Darling''s ring, it''s stunning).
I don''t at all think that it looks like a hubcap. I think the low setting is just fine.
Is there any way you could get a sense for what she likes? Some women like 3 stone rings and others prefer simple solitaire, some like pave, etc. If you knew for sure what she liked it might help you decide whether or not to change the setting. Either way that''s a gorgeous center stone and she is very lucky.
Good luck.

 

[winternight]

Date: 12/15/2006 10:58:38 AM
Author: kenny
I understand all the women not wanting (or worse) a ring designed for another woman.

But then why are you all willing to take a stone selected for another woman, after resetting it?

Karma is karma.
No?

Actually I wouldn''t want the center stone, honestly I''d want something bigger just because this was what he was willing to do for someone else - looking for the grander gesture or something.

 

[dtnyc]

Date: 12/15/2006 2:27:34 PM
Author: winternight

Date: 12/15/2006 10:58:38 AM
Author: kenny
I understand all the women not wanting (or worse) a ring designed for another woman.

But then why are you all willing to take a stone selected for another woman, after resetting it?

Karma is karma.
No?

Actually I wouldn''t want the center stone, honestly I''d want something bigger just because this was what he was willing to do for someone else - looking for the grander gesture or something.

winternight- you crack me up! I was sort of thinking the same thing... like might as well bump that puppy up to 3ct. If he was willing to go so big for the wrong girl, might as well make it a little biggerfor the right one!

 

[winternight]

^^^
LMAO. How about a 3.5?

 

[tdiddy]

the ring is stunning already, but i personally would prefer a stone that was set a little higher and would not like the trellies as much as pear sidestones.

given the number of different opinions here already, i think this "proves" that is best to ask the girl you are giving it to what she likes as everyone''s opinion is so different.

and as for the moral issue, i wouldn''t want the exact same setting but would be ok with the stone if it was the cut/shape/etc. that i liked. but, again the number of different opinions on the "morality" of this given on the board so far also demonstrates you should probably ask the girl you want to marry how she feels about the "old" ring. her opinion is really the only one that matters (other than yours of course).

 

[alamb]

I like the ring just the way it is. I think if you''re going to marry this girl, you should be able to explain the situation after you propose and let her know she can take this ring, change this ring or get an entirely new ring all together, but you wanted her to decide which she''d prefer.

Good luck!

 

[partgypsy]

I second alamb. Although I refrained from addressing the emotional part in my first post, the point is to get married to this woman, not to solve a ring problem. I would even propose to her without a ring, then explain the history of the ring and offer it to her, but also let her pick out something else if the history of it bothers her. Basically you don''t want her to think the ring (or recouping the cost of the ring) is more important than her.
At that point, it''s really about the woman, not about the ring.

 

[butterfly 17]

I would actually keep it the way it is or make it into a solitaire with pave setting. LIke a Michael B princess setting or something similar so that the focus is on the center stone and nothing else.

The problem I had when I had my Vatche three stone was that the center stone was the same height as the sides, so it all looked like one big blingy stone, instead of a larger center, that is why I changed that setting. I really felt the sides detracted from the center stone way too much.

As far as the emotional issues involved, honestly, if this were me, I really wouldn't care. I would just be happy to GET a ring. No one is entitled to an engagement ring, it is given with love, but there is no law that says that one must be given in order to validate that love. When I got married, I did not get an engagement ring and I waited 10 years to finally get one, but if the the choice were presented to me to get this almost 3 carat ring (although I would redesign it b/c I would prefer a solitaire) or NO RING, what do you think I would chose??

As far as resetting it in a pendant or something else, why waste a perfectly beautiful diamond? First of all, let's be practical. How much would it cost to get the same size stone in today's market? YOu will be lucky to actually be able to find something similar. And the prices would be a minimum of $15K more than what you paid. So even if you wanted to get the same size stone today, you are looking spend a huge amount of money. Now if money is not an issue, then I would say no problem, but most people, at least all the ones I know, don't have this amount of money laying around.

I would just be completely honest with her and tell her the truth plain and simple or I would reset in a simple solitaire and tell her what happened and present her with the opportunity to pick her own setting. When all is said and done, it's not the ring you are marrying, but the person you fell in love with.

Good luck!!!

BTW this would be a great poll topic.

 

[Mara]

oooh i like the idea of just going with a bigger diamond solitaire.

a 3c simple wf tiffany style engagement ring and then a diamond eternity wedding band is the ultimate classic.

i think it''s important to try to take her ''tastes'' and her personality into mind. is she really a 3 stone gal? not everyone is.

i''m a solitaire gal for sure right now but sometimes i have ''leanings'' towards 3 stone. but not sure if i ever would really want to change, it''s such a different look. you have to really love it in my opinion.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I think it''s a gorgeous ring, but definitely redo it since the trielles were specifically to the ex''s tastes.

I''d go a step further than that. To me it sounds like you want to keep the ring exactly the same except switch out the stones that were more to the ex''s liking than to yours. But let''s forget about you and definitely about the ex . . . what does the future Mrs. Candide like? Would she prefer a solitaire? A halo? Pave? It seems to me that you are sticking to the original idea of the ring because you went to all the trouble to design it the first time, and to me, that does make the ring less special for the new lady.

I personally would not have a problem with my man using the same diamond. Perhaps it''s because it''s a such a lovely honker and that''s clouding my judgment

, but to me that''s not an uncommon problem, and she''s marrying you knowing that you have thought about marriage to someone else before. I''m a practical person, and I wouldn''t want my husband to lose a substantial amount of money if a true trade-in were not available. But what I would object to is . . . here, take this ring that I designed for my ex, but don''t worry, I switched out the sidestones.

However, if you could trade in the stone toward the purchase of a new one, why not?

 

[Vix]

Candide--

Leaving out the aesthetic issues and focusing on the re-use ones, I see one major problem: if you ask your future fiancee to wear any part of this ring, you''re asking her to be very practical about a grand romantic gesture made for ANOTHER WOMAN--"your" other woman, in fact!

Now, I''m practical in general. And I wear a modest vintage ring and love the thought of the history behind it. But I''m also exceedingly territorial, and so Kkal sums how I would react:

IMHO if I got a ring that was designed for someone else I would be horrified. I realize that this project took a lot of time and effort but that is even more the reason I wouldn''t want the ring. The time and effort and style of the ring was done with someone else''s love and tastes in mind. While the ring is beautiful I would feel somewhat betrayed that the time and effort of creating a ring for someone else was more important than creating something designed just for me.

Of course mileage varies, which is why all the great advice about proposing without a ring to keep the "magic" present seems most sensible to me. Get the romance in before the practical stuff (if you decide to do anything but start fresh). Because while it may be heresy on PS, if my choice were [part of] that ring or no ring, I''d take the "no ring." [Which, come to think of it, might translate into "no man," because I''d leave anyone who basically said my way or the highway over a *ring* instead of taking my desires into consideration.]

But she may say, "Hand over that gorgeous old one, lover!" and then you''re golden. If she''s more like me, though, she wouldn''t necessarily need a more impressive effort/ring from you to prove your love...but she may want to see that you made/will make AN effort this go-round!

 

[3hearts]

The ring is pretty, but I have different tastes when it comes to 3 stone rings. I think the side stones takes away from the center stone.

That said:
1. I would reset the center stone in a simple solitaire and let her pick her dream setting or ring.
2. See if you can sell/trade in the ring and get a whole new diamond for your new "she"

I''ve been married for 14 years and if I found out the ring my husband gave me was meant for someone else, he''d be buying me a 4 carat diamond, diamond studs, a new car and a maid to make up for it.

 

[Anastasia]

The ring is beautiful as is. I am not a fan of the trielles, but MM does such a gorgeous job on everything!

I think it would be beautiful with pears also, probably even prettier.

I think the biggest issue is to get this girl what SHE wants. You took the trouble to design a ring around girl # 1''s taste, you owe it to the "right" girl to give her at least the same amount of effort.

This is not an issue of "entitlement" as suggested by some posters. Noone is "entitled" to a diamond ring. What she is entitled to is that you put effort into getting something that she will love, not something that was designed with someone else''s taste in mind, and modified for her.

By no means would I propose with a $5 ring and tell her you will talk about the ring later. Talk about playing with fire! There is no good time to give a girl, or tell a girl about a ring that was meant for someone else. Someone suggested that this would allow you to have the romantic proposal, and save the practical part for later. For most women, an engagement ring has a lot of emotions attached to it. If you did this, it would completely negate the romantic proposal. For me it would mar the whole event.

I am a very practical, logical person. However the thought of receiving a ring that had been bought for someone else, and altered for me would be devastating to me.

Perhaps this girl would not be bothered by any of this, but the only way to find that out is to talk to her about it. If she is upset by it, the damage will already be done. I don''t think that is a chance that you should take.

 

[flutterby]

my dh, had purchased a ring for an ex, he never proposed, but she had tried on the ring several times! Besides she had poor taste and I hated the ring, I didnt want HER ring. If her ring had a HUGE center stone, I would have thought about resetting it! Instead we went to the person who designed that ring and had her make my ruby ring.

I would definately talk to her about it, she may only want slight modifications, or she might want another ring altogether! and then see what mark could do for you....if nothing, I would be happy to take that ring off your hand...its STUNNING!

 

[snowflakeluvr]

the ring is absolutely gorgeous and i would love wearing it, but two questions come to mind?
do friends and family know about it, first potential engagement, that it was made, etc? then, there is always that chance that someone would slip that info out in a story, etc.."remember when you were thinking of marrying?.." and that could create a VERY strained situation if your future fiancee did not have the background on the ring...
second question: say you propose, she says yes, and a short time from now, she says to you, "hey, i was engaged before and i had already bought his wedding band? it''s your size" would YOU wear THAT ring?
good luck-my husband completely screwed up our engagement because he took a very attractive co-worker with him the day he picked up the ring, allowed HER to wear it, and i found out later. now, if it had been maybe my sister, or my best girlfriend, i would not have minded the hands-on admiring, but this girl was likely out to get my hubby...that said, 20 years later, i''m wearing a different ring..
best of luck. the ring is fab-u-lous so any future design you may create will be as well i imagine

 

[winternight]

Why is it a choice between this ring and no ring? Maybe this girl has always wanted an emerald cut diamond - why on earth does she have to choose between a ring that was the ex''s taste and no ring? I''m not sure why ''entitlement'' is coming up. Clearly the poster can afford a nice ring.

Also I think even if she would never find out you''re starting your marriage based on a deception - that''s a bad idea.

 

[litebrite]

I''m sorry to her that lady#1 didn''t work out. I think that the trilliants look odd with the center stone, and I agree with denverappraiser. If you keep the center stone, and reset with a sapphire or something, it will look like a right hand ring, and you can give it to her later.

Also, personally I would feel really weird about receiving a ring that was designed for another woman, even if it is a MM piece, regardless of how much it costs. It''s the sentiment and the thought. She''ll be wearing this everyday, and every time she looks at it, she might be reminded of the first she. Start afresh, no baggage attached to the ring. (But reuse the center stone if she likes RBs.)

Good luck!

 

[tangoecho]

So ultimately what happened? Did you propose and if so, how did you handle the engagement ring situation?

 

[Adylon]

Date: 12/13/2006 9:41:23 PM
Author: denverappraiser

How about this? Take out the center stone and work with Mark to design a completely new ring around it to be special for the right girl. Replace the stone in the ‘old’ ring with a sapphire or some other gemstone, which would be nicely offset with the trilliants, won’t look like an engagement ring and will no longer be the ring that you designed for some other woman. Changing from trilliants to pears is basically going to require him to remake the whole ring anyway. Present this one for an anniversary, birthday or some other occasion that doesn’t have quite so much emotional involvement as the engagement ring.

I really like this idea. You spent a lot of money on that specific ring and those specific trillions, make it into a cocktail ring with a nice blue or pink sapphire or something. It shouldn't be too hard to find a nice 9.1-9.5mm round gem which should fit fine in there. You could then sell that ring to fund your new design project or give it to her some other time, etc.

To answer your question, no you can not redo that ring to hold pear shapes. Well you could but based on everything I've heard about from Mark Morell he doesn't seem like the type to do botchy work. What you're asking for would require a completely new ring.

Edit: Woops guess I should have read the whole thread and post date

I wonder what happened too!