HORRIBLE and/or HYSTERICAL pregnancy moments

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 6/23/2009 3:01:46 PM
Author: princesss
Wow. I can''t imagine what I was ever afraid of. Being pregnant sounds FUN! I get to eat what I want, fart where I want, tell strangers off for being rude, and make my SO clean up after me.


In what world is this not heaven?

And don''t forget-NO LITTER BOX DUTY!!!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/23/2009 3:09:55 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 6/23/2009 3:01:46 PM
Author: princesss
Wow. I can''t imagine what I was ever afraid of. Being pregnant sounds FUN! I get to eat what I want, fart where I want, tell strangers off for being rude, and make my SO clean up after me.


In what world is this not heaven?

And don''t forget-NO LITTER BOX DUTY!!!

LOL.

I so look forward to that!

 

[ChinaCat]

Elle- Great sense of humor girl, you''ll do fine at this.

And very few people get ALL of these terrible symptoms. This thread is actually making me feel better- I have been grumpy about being constipated for a week, but reading this I see that it could be a lot worse!

My worst thing so far has been p**ping out something so large that needed stages and labor-like breathing to get through it. Like waiting for gravity to do its job and wanting to push it out, but knowing that it wasn''t "time" to push yet, then would gather up my strength and "push" while doing quick labor breathing. I never felt more relief. Then of course I had to figure out how to unclog the toilet. I mean seriously, it never occurred to me that the pipe and drain part of the toilet might just not be big enough.

Just told myself I was practicing for labor! Minus the unclogging the toilet part.

Question: Do hemis go away? Never thought about it- never needed to!!! So far have escaped that part, but I''m sure my time will come.

PP- Ok, I know your story wasn''t actually funny, but your delivery (no pun intended) has me giggling out loud over here.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 6/23/2009 3:01:46 PM
Author: princesss
Wow. I can''t imagine what I was ever afraid of. Being pregnant sounds FUN! I get to eat what I want, fart where I want, tell strangers off for being rude, and make my SO clean up after me.

In what world is this not heaven?

Ice cream tastes soooo much better when you can turn to your loved one and say "plllleeeassseee get me some ice cream!" at 1AM. There''s something about vanilla at that time that is just right in every way.

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/23/2009 3:17:38 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 6/23/2009 3:01:46 PM
Author: princesss
Wow. I can''t imagine what I was ever afraid of. Being pregnant sounds FUN! I get to eat what I want, fart where I want, tell strangers off for being rude, and make my SO clean up after me.

In what world is this not heaven?

Ice cream tastes soooo much better when you can turn to your loved one and say ''plllleeeassseee get me some ice cream!'' at 1AM. There''s something about vanilla at that time that is just right in every way.

Now THAT''S what I''m talking about!

 

[ChinaCat]

Date: 6/23/2009 3:28:34 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 6/23/2009 3:17:38 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 6/23/2009 3:01:46 PM
Author: princesss
Wow. I can''t imagine what I was ever afraid of. Being pregnant sounds FUN! I get to eat what I want, fart where I want, tell strangers off for being rude, and make my SO clean up after me.

In what world is this not heaven?

Ice cream tastes soooo much better when you can turn to your loved one and say ''plllleeeassseee get me some ice cream!'' at 1AM. There''s something about vanilla at that time that is just right in every way.

Now THAT''S what I''m talking about!

Oh, it''s true!!! Ice cream is so much yummier. Plus you can just eat whatever you want. I ate a whole pizza one night and DH was horrified and I was like, whatever, I''m pregnant. Get over it. It''s kinda fun to freak people out with how much you can eat. And not feel guilty about it at all.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/23/2009 3:31:57 PM
Author: ChinaCat

Date: 6/23/2009 3:28:34 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 6/23/2009 3:17:38 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 6/23/2009 3:01:46 PM
Author: princesss
Wow. I can''t imagine what I was ever afraid of. Being pregnant sounds FUN! I get to eat what I want, fart where I want, tell strangers off for being rude, and make my SO clean up after me.

In what world is this not heaven?

Ice cream tastes soooo much better when you can turn to your loved one and say ''plllleeeassseee get me some ice cream!'' at 1AM. There''s something about vanilla at that time that is just right in every way.

Now THAT''S what I''m talking about!

Oh, it''s true!!! Ice cream is so much yummier. Plus you can just eat whatever you want. I ate a whole pizza one night and DH was horrified and I was like, whatever, I''m pregnant. Get over it. It''s kinda fun to freak people out with how much you can eat. And not feel guilty about it at all.

Wait... that''s not normal for a non-pregnant woman?

 

[jas]

Date: 6/23/2009 3:36:21 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 6/23/2009 3:31:57 PM
Author: ChinaCat

Date: 6/23/2009 3:28:34 PM
Author: princesss



Now THAT''S what I''m talking about!

Oh, it''s true!!! Ice cream is so much yummier. Plus you can just eat whatever you want. I ate a whole pizza one night and DH was horrified and I was like, whatever, I''m pregnant. Get over it. It''s kinda fun to freak people out with how much you can eat. And not feel guilty about it at all.

Wait... that''s not normal for a non-pregnant woman?

*wipes tomato sauce from corners of mouth and pats non-pregnant belly* Huh? What?

 

[Mrs]

Date: 6/22/2009 8:48:00 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Yeah, I always wanted to bring in a 7/11 Big Gulp cup and ask if I could use that one.

I didn''t mind peeing in the cup...didn''t gross me out, but it did weird me out to put it in the pee cup line-up. All those cups of pee, for the world to see. I really felt a bit possessive of my pee cup, always wanting to say, ''This one''s MINE, ok? Don''t get my proteins mixed up with someone else''s!''

And WHY do the nurses always put the big weight on the lighter marker when they weigh you? To try to spare myself the humiliation of watching her tap tap tap the indicator higher and higher, I''d just tell her, sorry, you''re going to have to jump straight to the 150 marker and add from there.

YES!!! I felt the same way! Just go to the 150 first darn it!

 

[MustangGal]

I remembered another "horrible" moment. So I get home from the hospital and run and jump on the scale, wondering how much I lost with all the bleeding, water gushing everywhere, 9 pound baby, etc.

5 pounds!

All that work, all the crap coming out of me, and I only lost 5 pounds! I balled my head off, in front of the inlaws and everything... Because of the c-section they pumped me full of liquids, and my legs looked like sausages. But I could still put my rings on!

The swelling went down, and it ended up being more like 20 pounds, but that was still completely depressing.

 

[steph72276]

Date: 6/23/2009 3:46:46 PM
Author: MustangGal
I remembered another ''horrible'' moment. So I get home from the hospital and run and jump on the scale, wondering how much I lost with all the bleeding, water gushing everywhere, 9 pound baby, etc.


5 pounds!

All that work, all the crap coming out of me, and I only lost 5 pounds! I balled my head off, in front of the inlaws and everything... Because of the c-section they pumped me full of liquids, and my legs looked like sausages. But I could still put my rings on!

The swelling went down, and it ended up being more like 20 pounds, but that was still completely depressing.

haha! I did the exact same thing. I was like come on, a 7 1/2 lb baby, on a liquid diet for days, and 5 lbs, really???? Yeah, it was all the meds from the c-section.

 

[TravelingGal]

Is it weird that this thread makes me want to have another baby?

Good times. Good times.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 6/23/2009 4:04:06 PM
Author: steph72276

Date: 6/23/2009 3:46:46 PM
Author: MustangGal
I remembered another ''horrible'' moment. So I get home from the hospital and run and jump on the scale, wondering how much I lost with all the bleeding, water gushing everywhere, 9 pound baby, etc.


5 pounds!

All that work, all the crap coming out of me, and I only lost 5 pounds! I balled my head off, in front of the inlaws and everything... Because of the c-section they pumped me full of liquids, and my legs looked like sausages. But I could still put my rings on!

The swelling went down, and it ended up being more like 20 pounds, but that was still completely depressing.

haha! I did the exact same thing. I was like come on, a 7 1/2 lb baby, on a liquid diet for days, and 5 lbs, really???? Yeah, it was all the meds from the c-section.

I asked my OB on average, how much did she think I would lose from my hips after I have the baby.

She gave me the side eyes.

Hey, I''m entitled to one silly question per trimester.

 

[Mrs]

Date: 6/23/2009 3:17:07 PM
Author: ChinaCat
Elle- Great sense of humor girl, you''ll do fine at this.

And very few people get ALL of these terrible symptoms. This thread is actually making me feel better- I have been grumpy about being constipated for a week, but reading this I see that it could be a lot worse!

My worst thing so far has been p**ping out something so large that needed stages and labor-like breathing to get through it. Like waiting for gravity to do its job and wanting to push it out, but knowing that it wasn''t ''time'' to push yet, then would gather up my strength and ''push'' while doing quick labor breathing. I never felt more relief. Then of course I had to figure out how to unclog the toilet. I mean seriously, it never occurred to me that the pipe and drain part of the toilet might just not be big enough.

Just told myself I was practicing for labor! Minus the unclogging the toilet part.

Question: Do hemis go away? Never thought about it- never needed to!!! So far have escaped that part, but I''m sure my time will come.

PP- Ok, I know your story wasn''t actually funny, but your delivery (no pun intended) has me giggling out loud over here.

China, go get yourself some stool softener ASAP! I was right there with you when I was preggers - not fun.
On a similar note, my most Horrible/Hysterical story took place my last day in the hospital after delivering my daughter via schedule C-section (she was breech). I hadn''t pooped in 5 days and was desperate to do so but totally freaked out about pushing since I thought my incision might rupture. I had tried to make it happen several times with no success but I was determined to do so before leaving the hospital that morning since I figured if I DID rupture my incision, it would be better to do so somewhere where I could get help quickly. So as my husband started taking our stuff out to the car, I decided to make another attempt. I''m in the bathroom huffing and puffing and feel like I''m about to give birth all over again! But this time it feels more like natural labor and delivery since I actually have to push... Just as I''m about half way through (i think it took me at least 5 minutes to get half out!) my dr comes in to my room to check on me before I leave and asks through the bathroom door if I''ll be out shortly and I feebly reply, "um... I don''t know..." another 5 or 10 minutes later after a crazy amount of effort and stifled grunts and groans, I was finally done! What relief! I look down and see the most enormous poop EVER! I half expected it to start crying like a baby. And the stink!! Needless to day, the toilet was very clogged and I was glad I didn''t have to stay in that room another night! When I emerged from the bathroom victorious (my incision was fine!) I proudly announced to my dr that I had FINALLY pooped and apologized for the stench and for keeping her waiting.... oh the joys of pregnancy and new motherhood!

 

[TravelingGal]

That''s it. This thread is the most TMI ever.

 

[Lauren8211]

Ok. I admit it. Of everything...I''m kind of scared of the giant poops.

I have a TERRIBLE fear of over flowing toilets. Like.. I actually have recurring nightmares about it.

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/23/2009 4:40:59 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Ok. I admit it. Of everything...I''m kind of scared of the giant poops.

I have a TERRIBLE fear of over flowing toilets. Like.. I actually have recurring nightmares about it.

BF had a roommate that didn''t grasp that you don''t use half a roll of triple ply TP every time you use the bathroom. Because of this, I am a pro at unclogging toilets. It''s no fun, but I know how to stop it before it overflows. Then I just pour bleach in and let it desintigrate things. Bleach is a miracle worker.

 

[Mrs]

Date: 6/23/2009 4:22:14 PM
Author: TravelingGal
That''s it. This thread is the most TMI ever.

I''m sorry!!!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 6/23/2009 5:06:22 PM
Author: Mrs

Date: 6/23/2009 4:22:14 PM
Author: TravelingGal
That''s it. This thread is the most TMI ever.

I''m sorry!!!

There should be an after delivery TMI thread because this is what I fear the most. I read an article the other day (I''ve been trying to find it to share) that went over all the things that happen to you after you have had the baby. I seriously was not prepared for any of it.

 

[ChinaCat]

Oh my god, stop, I can''t stop laughing. This is just a terrible yet hysterical thread.

Fiery- I LOVE that you asked how much was going to come off of your HIPS. You rock.

Mrs- Thank you for not making me feel so alone.

Off to the pharmacy tonight.

RE: eating a whole pizza- I regularly did this pre-preggo, but at least when you''re preggo you can do it guilt-free!

TGal, sorry if we took your thread to a whole ''nother level. You started it.

 

[Maisie]

When I was having James I didn''t have any pain relief. I was lying there trying not to move as the pains were so strong.

With each contraction I would toot. And I''m talking the whole of the contraction...

Me: ''Toooot, toot toot toot tooooot toot tooooot toooooooot tooot....'' and in the midst of my absolute suffering all I could hear from the side of the bed was Gary giggling uncontrollably.

I got my own back on a later contraction when I actually followed through. He was stunned shocked and not a little bit disgusted. At least he stopped laughing though!

 

[TravelingGal]

ChinaCat, I know, hee hee. As long as you ladies are entertained.

Maisie, something about the colors and the font change...made me laugh.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 6/23/2009 5:33:23 PM
Author: TravelingGal
ChinaCat, I know, hee hee. As long as you ladies are entertained.

Maisie, something about the colors and the font change...made me laugh.

I can laugh about it now but at the time I was aware of the tooting in the distance and I was thinking... ''that can''t be me can it?''

 

[nycbkgirl]

Omggg what a riot! Leave it to Tgal to make us laugh!

I thought long and hard to come up with moments bc I didn''t pee or pass gas..mostly bc I was never far from a toilet and was on bed rest...

But remembered when:
I was just starting to get u/s''s done and I came in and got undressed right away butt neked...and tech turned around and was like...oh no we do u/s clothed ...Me: oops sorry ivf mentality (I was very used to internal u/s''s )..yeh dh just shook his head.

Then...
I was in hospital at 24 wks and I had to use progesterone suppositories at the time so I brought the ones I like to use (they have a stick applicator)...I was pg with twins and couldn''t reach to stick it in..so asked nurse. She says sure ill help u but do u wanna turn over onto side..im like no (confused y would I do that)...she was confused too but ok...she proceeded to try to stick it where nothing should ever be stuck!...im like ..ummm nurse that goes in the umm... hoohaaa...she''s like...oooooo now makes sense :]

And ditto on the cup peeing...that mess took me
1/2 hr! If there was a camera in there to video how I attempted to have my hand down there holding the cup while my pee comes out towards the back not in a straight line down...trying to catch the pee...ooo fugetit

Love this thread

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/23/2009 5:56:20 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
Omggg what a riot! Leave it to Tgal to make us laugh!

I thought long and hard to come up with moments bc I didn''t pee or pass gas..mostly bc I was never far from a toilet and was on bed rest...

But remembered when:
I was just starting to get u/s''s done and I came in and got undressed right away butt neked...and tech turned around and was like...oh no we do u/s clothed ...Me: oops sorry ivf mentality (I was very used to internal u/s''s )..yeh dh just shook his head.

Then...
I was in hospital at 24 wks and I had to use progesterone suppositories at the time so I brought the ones I like to use (they have a stick applicator)...I was pg with twins and couldn''t reach to stick it in..so asked nurse. She says sure ill help u but do u wanna turn over onto side..im like no (confused y would I do that)...she was confused too but ok...she proceeded to try to stick it where nothing should ever be stuck!...im like ..ummm nurse that goes in the umm... hoohaaa...she''s like...oooooo now makes sense :]

And ditto on the cup peeing...that mess took me
1/2 hr! If there was a camera in there to video how I attempted to have my hand down there holding the cup while my pee comes out towards the back not in a straight line down...trying to catch the pee...ooo fugetit

Love this thread

Oh hahahaha! That''s a good one.

*chuckle guffaw chortle*

 

[ChinaCat]

Date: 6/23/2009 6:03:04 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/23/2009 5:56:20 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
Omggg what a riot! Leave it to Tgal to make us laugh!

I thought long and hard to come up with moments bc I didn''t pee or pass gas..mostly bc I was never far from a toilet and was on bed rest...

But remembered when:
I was just starting to get u/s''s done and I came in and got undressed right away butt neked...and tech turned around and was like...oh no we do u/s clothed ...Me: oops sorry ivf mentality (I was very used to internal u/s''s )..yeh dh just shook his head.

Then...
I was in hospital at 24 wks and I had to use progesterone suppositories at the time so I brought the ones I like to use (they have a stick applicator)...I was pg with twins and couldn''t reach to stick it in..so asked nurse. She says sure ill help u but do u wanna turn over onto side..im like no (confused y would I do that)...she was confused too but ok...she proceeded to try to stick it where nothing should ever be stuck!...im like ..ummm nurse that goes in the umm... hoohaaa...she''s like...oooooo now makes sense :]

And ditto on the cup peeing...that mess took me
1/2 hr! If there was a camera in there to video how I attempted to have my hand down there holding the cup while my pee comes out towards the back not in a straight line down...trying to catch the pee...ooo fugetit

Love this thread

Oh hahahaha! That''s a good one.

*chuckle guffaw chortle*

NYC- That''s freaking hysterical. Was it a male or female tech?

Maisie- Why are toots funny? I think TGal is right, your use of color makes this even funnier.

But whenever I open this thread and start scrolling down, this is where I lose it and start laughing out loud:

ELLEDIZZY SAID:

"Ok. I admit it. Of everything...I''m kind of scared of the giant poops."


Well played Elle, well played.

 

[packrat]

Speaking of giant poops..I msn''d one of our nurses at work when I was pg w/Trapper and asked if it was possible to poop so much you didn''t look pregnant anymore. The answer is yes. I held onto the sides of the toilet for dear life. Never experienced anything like that before.

During the u/s w/Trapper, I didn''t even wait to be asked if we wanted to know the sex. I said "I''m nosy and I don''t care if we have to be in here for an hour, I want to know" Then during, the tech''s like "Oh..wow.." and he turned to JD and said "Now, THAT''S a boy! Let me print this view out quick" I thought jeez, are you sure that''s not the umbilical cord?? hahaha JD was so proud. I took the pictures over to the office to show the girls and every time, they''d look at that one and say "Holy crap!" After a while I was like hey hey hey now, that''s my son''s parts you''re exclaiming over!

 

[littlelysser]

Mrs - LOLing at the biggest poop ever. Funny sh!t. (pun intended).

Oh yeah, I forgot about the burping. I didn''t burp that much until the last few weeks...but now that the kid has taken over my stomachal area, I burp like Barney from the Simpsons. Sexie!!!

I will agree that having DH do my bidding is a very nice part of being prego. I try not to abuse it too much...but sometimes the baby wants a scone!!!!

 

[Matata]

I was laughing hysterically at this thread and thinking "oh wait, I know how that feels" "oh yeah, been there done that" until it slowly dawned on me that I am childless. Now I am hysterically weeping. The similarity in bodily function failures between pregnancy & old age. Who knew? Sigh.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 6/23/2009 5:18:37 PM
Author: Maisie
When I was having James I didn''t have any pain relief. I was lying there trying not to move as the pains were so strong.


With each contraction I would toot. And I''m talking the whole of the contraction...


Me: ''Toooot, toot toot toot tooooot toot tooooot toooooooot tooot....'' and in the midst of my absolute suffering all I could hear from the side of the bed was Gary giggling uncontrollably.

This is so going to be me....