HORRIBLE and/or HYSTERICAL pregnancy moments

[nycbkgirl]

Date: 6/23/2009 6:18:57 PM
Author: ChinaCat

Date: 6/23/2009 6:03:04 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/23/2009 5:56:20 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
Omggg what a riot! Leave it to Tgal to make us laugh!

I thought long and hard to come up with moments bc I didn''t pee or pass gas..mostly bc I was never far from a toilet and was on bed rest...

But remembered when:
I was just starting to get u/s''s done and I came in and got undressed right away butt neked...and tech turned around and was like...oh no we do u/s clothed ...Me: oops sorry ivf mentality (I was very used to internal u/s''s )..yeh dh just shook his head.

Then...
I was in hospital at 24 wks and I had to use progesterone suppositories at the time so I brought the ones I like to use (they have a stick applicator)...I was pg with twins and couldn''t reach to stick it in..so asked nurse. She says sure ill help u but do u wanna turn over onto side..im like no (confused y would I do that)...she was confused too but ok...she proceeded to try to stick it where nothing should ever be stuck!...im like ..ummm nurse that goes in the umm... hoohaaa...she''s like...oooooo now makes sense :]

And ditto on the cup peeing...that mess took me
1/2 hr! If there was a camera in there to video how I attempted to have my hand down there holding the cup while my pee comes out towards the back not in a straight line down...trying to catch the pee...ooo fugetit

Love this thread

Oh hahahaha! That''s a good one.

*chuckle guffaw chortle*

NYC- That''s freaking hysterical. Was it a male or female tech?

Maisie- Why are toots funny? I think TGal is right, your use of color makes this even funnier.

But whenever I open this thread and start scrolling down, this is where I lose it and start laughing out loud:

ELLEDIZZY SAID:

''Ok. I admit it. Of everything...I''m kind of scared of the giant poops.''


Well played Elle, well played.

thank goodness female

 

[Burk]

This thread is my new favorite! I love it! I need to think about my first pregnancy because at the moment I can''t really remember....

But, last night had a great "love being preggo" moment. I was inspecting my ridiculous bloated belly in the mirror and DH came in and asked what I was doing. I was explaining to him that I''m only 7.5 weeks preggo and at night I''m so bloated I look like I did when I was 20 weeks preggo with T. He looked at my belly and said "whoa, I guess so"

Almost before that got out of his mouth he started apologizing because he felt horrible about his reaction. I just laughed.

 

[hlmr]

Goodness, the things that we women go through!! lol

And we all probably would do it again, without hesitation, when considering that pot of gold.

 

[Courtneylub]

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm just reading this thread. Freaking hilarious.

I can only think of post partum embarassing moments.

I was doing pilates in the living room while DH watched tv. I forget the name of the move, but I was laying flat on my back and you have to lift yourself up using your core muscles. I coulld barely do it and also let out a huge fart while pulling myself up.

The other time, I was doing jumping jacks when I realized I was peeing, not sweating.

ETA - Oh and in the hospital my friend had come to visit and I felt a huge fart coming on. I warned her it was coming and boy did it! It sounded just like E typed it tooot toot toot tooooooot. It felt damn good though. She was entertained.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 6/23/2009 10:29:58 PM
Author: hlmr
Goodness, the things that we women go through!! lol

And we all probably would do it again, without hesitation, when considering that pot of gold.

Not me. There''s a reason why my son is an only child.

 

[hlmr]

Date: 6/23/2009 11:02:19 PM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 6/23/2009 10:29:58 PM
Author: hlmr
Goodness, the things that we women go through!! lol

And we all probably would do it again, without hesitation, when considering that pot of gold.

Not me. There''s a reason why my son is an only child.

Yah, I get that thought process too!!

 

[natalina]

Just have to say that this may be my most favorite thread ever. Absolutely hilarious!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Date: 6/23/2009 11:02:19 PM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 6/23/2009 10:29:58 PM
Author: hlmr
Goodness, the things that we women go through!! lol

And we all probably would do it again, without hesitation, when considering that pot of gold.

Not me. There''s a reason why my son is an only child.

Ditto...good thing i had 2 in one shot!

 

[steph72276]

Date: 6/23/2009 10:08:12 PM
Author: Burk
This thread is my new favorite! I love it! I need to think about my first pregnancy because at the moment I can''t really remember....


But, last night had a great ''love being preggo'' moment. I was inspecting my ridiculous bloated belly in the mirror and DH came in and asked what I was doing. I was explaining to him that I''m only 7.5 weeks preggo and at night I''m so bloated I look like I did when I was 20 weeks preggo with T. He looked at my belly and said ''whoa, I guess so''

Almost before that got out of his mouth he started apologizing because he felt horrible about his reaction. I just laughed.

Burk, glad I''m not the only 2nd timer feeling that way. I just broke down and got some maternity pants (I''m only 8 weeks!) because I can''t stand how bloated I get at night. I really look like I''m 20 weeks or so!

 

[Jas12]

Jumping Jacks and motherhood don''t mix

I was doing Body Attack (a high intensity group exercise class) and after a series of jumps i saw a friend of mine run out of the class. When she came back i gave her a you okay? look and she came over and whispered "i bounced out some pee". Apparently this problem isn''t dependent on a vaginal birth. She had a section and still had this problem. Must be from pregnancy

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/24/2009 9:17:34 AM
Author: Jas12
Jumping Jacks and motherhood don''t mix

I was doing Body Attack (a high intensity group exercise class) and after a series of jumps i saw a friend of mine run out of the class. When she came back i gave her a you okay? look and she came over and whispered ''i bounced out some pee''. Apparently this problem isn''t dependent on a vaginal birth. She had a section and still had this problem. Must be from pregnancy

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. oh man. Your poor friend, but that''s hilarious.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

This thread has me in tears of laughter and horror.

My sister just had her baby last year, and she shared some of these intimate details as they were happening (ie, DH being honest without realizing he was being insensitive, monster poos, incessant farting, etc.) and I remamber sharing a laugh or two, but she NEVER told me about the peeing. I''m terrified of that, and as I was just walking to our bathroom in our office, I cursed the day I''ll be trying to get there in a major hurry - across the building, out our locked door (that I have to lock behind me).

Heaven help me the day I realize I just peed all over my CLOTH office chair!

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 6/24/2009 8:49:21 AM
Author: steph72276

Date: 6/23/2009 10:08:12 PM

Author: Burk

This thread is my new favorite! I love it! I need to think about my first pregnancy because at the moment I can''t really remember....



But, last night had a great ''love being preggo'' moment. I was inspecting my ridiculous bloated belly in the mirror and DH came in and asked what I was doing. I was explaining to him that I''m only 7.5 weeks preggo and at night I''m so bloated I look like I did when I was 20 weeks preggo with T. He looked at my belly and said ''whoa, I guess so''

Almost before that got out of his mouth he started apologizing because he felt horrible about his reaction. I just laughed.

Burk, glad I''m not the only 2nd timer feeling that way. I just broke down and got some maternity pants (I''m only 8 weeks!) because I can''t stand how bloated I get at night. I really look like I''m 20 weeks or so!

yep, with baby #2 and even more so with Jake my body seemed to say, oh you''re pregnant again, let''s just go ahead and make you like you''re full term even though you''re only 12 weeks

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 6/23/2009 10:29:58 PM
Author: hlmr
Goodness, the things that we women go through!! lol

And we all probably would do it again, without hesitation, when considering that pot of gold.

HI:

Well, according to this thread apparently we need to sit on the pot in order to get the gold....

...did that joke stink? Pardon the pun!

Did no one barf during labour? I did--no keg party hangover could match the force of my retching--but it resulted in the most productive "pushing" I had done up until them...gotta love those useful barfs....

cheers--Sharon

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 6/23/2009 10:08:12 PM
Author: Burk
This thread is my new favorite! I love it! I need to think about my first pregnancy because at the moment I can''t really remember....


But, last night had a great ''love being preggo'' moment. I was inspecting my ridiculous bloated belly in the mirror and DH came in and asked what I was doing. I was explaining to him that I''m only 7.5 weeks preggo and at night I''m so bloated I look like I did when I was 20 weeks preggo with T. He looked at my belly and said ''whoa, I guess so''

Almost before that got out of his mouth he started apologizing because he felt horrible about his reaction. I just laughed.

I didn''t realize you were expecting again Burk. Congratulations!!! Is Tessa insanely excited?

 

[blushingbride]

I LOVE THIS THREAD!! You ladies have me rolling over here!

All I can say is that I have LOTS to look forward too!

 

[blushingbride]

Date: 6/23/2009 7:03:27 PM
Author: littlelysser
Mrs - LOLing at the biggest poop ever. Funny sh!t. (pun intended).

Oh yeah, I forgot about the burping. I didn''t burp that much until the last few weeks...but now that the kid has taken over my stomachal area, I burp like Barney from the Simpsons. Sexie!!!

I will agree that having DH do my bidding is a very nice part of being prego. I try not to abuse it too much...but sometimes the baby wants a scone!!!!

LOL - good one Little!!! Definitely one of my faves Mrs!!!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Date: 6/24/2009 11:12:57 AM
Author: LaurenThePartier
I'm terrified of that, and as I was just walking to our bathroom in our office, I cursed the day I'll be trying to get there in a major hurry - across the building, out our locked door (that I have to lock behind me).
Heaven help me the day I realize I just peed all over my CLOTH office chair!

I'm terrified that I'll be in an operating room helping with a surgery, when I realize I peed myself...all over a carefully sterilized work environment. And when you pee in scrubs...I bet it's pretty obvious to everyone.

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 6/24/2009 1:37:24 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 6/23/2009 10:08:12 PM

Author: Burk

This thread is my new favorite! I love it! I need to think about my first pregnancy because at the moment I can''t really remember....



But, last night had a great ''love being preggo'' moment. I was inspecting my ridiculous bloated belly in the mirror and DH came in and asked what I was doing. I was explaining to him that I''m only 7.5 weeks preggo and at night I''m so bloated I look like I did when I was 20 weeks preggo with T. He looked at my belly and said ''whoa, I guess so''

Almost before that got out of his mouth he started apologizing because he felt horrible about his reaction. I just laughed.

I didn''t realize you were expecting again Burk. Congratulations!!! Is Tessa insanely excited?

psssst
I think it''s Tayva.

Tessa belongs to Tacori. Lot''s of Ts!

 

[Pandora II]

Two things to add - to reassure the terrified..

Epidurals: wonderful things and having them put in is pretty much painless (and I''m a wuss) and doesn''t begin to compare with how much labour will hurt. Important thing is to relax as much as possible and then it''s really easy for them to put in - and then... it all goes away and you feel normal again!

Episiotomies: Not great, but a heck of a lot better than a c-section. In the UK they do them medio-lateral so that if you tear the episiotomy it is well away from your rectum, I don''t know why but in the US they seem to do them midline? Anyway, you will want meds afterwards for a week or so and ice in your knickers is a great thing. But they are not as bad as I imagined they would be - and the nice man spent FORTY-FIVE minutes sewing me up (yes all your modesty is gone when you know some guy has spent 45 minutes sticking bits of your hoohaa back in the right places...


Can''t comment on post-partum sex... I''ve told DH that if he has lasted since her conception, he can last till her first birthday, or get an interim mistress...

 

[nycbkgirl]

Date: 6/24/2009 5:42:29 PM
Author: Pandora II
Two things to add - to reassure the terrified..

Epidurals: wonderful things and having them put in is pretty much painless (and I''m a wuss) and doesn''t begin to compare with how much labour will hurt. Important thing is to relax as much as possible and then it''s really easy for them to put in - and then... it all goes away and you feel normal again!

Episiotomies: Not great, but a heck of a lot better than a c-section. In the UK they do them medio-lateral so that if you tear the episiotomy it is well away from your rectum, I don''t know why but in the US they seem to do them midline? Anyway, you will want meds afterwards for a week or so and ice in your knickers is a great thing. But they are not as bad as I imagined they would be - and the nice man spent FORTY-FIVE minutes sewing me up (yes all your modesty is gone when you know some guy has spent 45 minutes sticking bits of your hoohaa back in the right places...


Can''t comment on post-partum sex... I''ve told DH that if he has lasted since her conception, he can last till her first birthday, or get an interim mistress...

LMAO! omgggg i couldnt have said it better myself

 

[sunnyd]

I have another story to share courtesy of my mom, if that''s okay! I''m just loving reading these.

By the end of her 3rd pregnancy, my brother was practically tumbling out of her. They sewed her cervix shut so that he wouldn''t. That nasty string is now taped into his baby book.

 

[jas]

Date: 6/24/2009 5:42:29 PM
Author: Pandora II
Two things to add - to reassure the terrified..

Epidurals: wonderful things and having them put in is pretty much painless (and I'm a wuss) and doesn't begin to compare with how much labour will hurt. Important thing is to relax as much as possible and then it's really easy for them to put in - and then... it all goes away and you feel normal again!

Episiotomies: Not great, but a heck of a lot better than a c-section. In the UK they do them medio-lateral so that if you tear the episiotomy it is well away from your rectum, I don't know why but in the US they seem to do them midline? Anyway, you will want meds afterwards for a week or so and ice in your knickers is a great thing. But they are not as bad as I imagined they would be - and the nice man spent FORTY-FIVE minutes sewing me up (yes all your modesty is gone when you know some guy has spent 45 minutes sticking bits of your hoohaa back in the right places...


Can't comment on post-partum sex... I've told DH that if he has lasted since her conception, he can last till her first birthday, or get an interim mistress...

Right on. I actually loved being pregnant. No morning sickness, no stretch marks, lost the baby weight within a few months, no puking or pooping during delivery...fairly "easy" c section...and 2 beautiful boys at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box.

P.S. Post Partum sex? What's that?

 

[packrat]

With Trapper, I was petrified of having the epidural again-nothing happened the first time to traumatize me or anything-I just never got over the fear of it w/London. But, it went smooth as it possibly could and I looked at the nurse like, wow, it''s done? And they''re like, Ok, we need you to lie down *now*, and I said "right now? Why? Ohhh" and instantly lost all feeling..the nurses were laughing, trying to help me turn around and lay down on the table-and I thought how strange it is to feel absolutely nothing from that part of your back down-and to watch your body being manhandled and maneuvered, and wondering who''s massive tree trunk legs they were trying to hoist up onto the table. It''s an odd feeling.

And then later you get itchy..I didn''t recall that so much w/London, but wow oh wow w/Trapper, I finally called the nurse in for a pill-I was picking at myself like some whacked out meth addict.

Sigh..I need to go look at the kids'' baby pictures now and get the warm fuzzies.

 

[softly softly]

This thread reminded me of some of the utterly moronic comments I heard while pregnant (many along the lines of are you sure you only have one in there). The comment that takes the cake wasn't actually said to me, but to a colleague of mine who told me that when she was preparing to leave her previous job to have her first child the girl who was taking over from her asked if it would be possible for her to delay the birth for a couple of months to give her more time to learn the ropes, because, as she put it 'doctors can do so many amazing things these days'.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 6/24/2009 4:59:29 PM
Author: luckystar112

Date: 6/24/2009 1:37:24 PM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 6/23/2009 10:08:12 PM


Author: Burk


This thread is my new favorite! I love it! I need to think about my first pregnancy because at the moment I can''t really remember....




But, last night had a great ''love being preggo'' moment. I was inspecting my ridiculous bloated belly in the mirror and DH came in and asked what I was doing. I was explaining to him that I''m only 7.5 weeks preggo and at night I''m so bloated I look like I did when I was 20 weeks preggo with T. He looked at my belly and said ''whoa, I guess so''

Almost before that got out of his mouth he started apologizing because he felt horrible about his reaction. I just laughed.

I didn''t realize you were expecting again Burk. Congratulations!!! Is Tessa insanely excited?

psssst

I think it''s Tayva.

Tessa belongs to Tacori. Lot''s of Ts!

Shoot! So sorry!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 6/24/2009 7:50:37 PM
Author: jas

Date: 6/24/2009 5:42:29 PM
Author: Pandora II

Can''t comment on post-partum sex... I''ve told DH that if he has lasted since her conception, he can last till her first birthday, or get an interim mistress...

P.S. Post Partum sex? What''s that?

I know a girl who ripped all the way to her anus when she delivered and then got pregnant 4 months after her first child was born. Of course I never asked, but I was like ''How did that happen?!''

 

[MustangGal]

Oh the epidural itching... I had it really bad. Then after 2 days of insane itching and hardly being able to sleep becasue of it, I discovered that I was actually allergic to the pain meds they were giving me. Much better after I stopped the meds!

And post partum sex... We actually did it the entire pregnancy, including the night before I was induced, attempting to send me into labor on my own (obviously didn''t work), and started right up again 6 weeks later. But I had a c-section, so things weren''t too streatched out down there.

 

[Jas12]

In an attempt to sprinkle a touch of good stuff into this thread (is that allowed?) PP sex was *really* painful for several months (i tore and had some stitches) but happy to report everything is 100% normal in that dept. now. No permanent stretching, no pain etc. *phew*.
So it''s not all bad news girls....

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 6/24/2009 5:42:29 PM
Author: Pandora II


Can''t comment on post-partum sex... I''ve told DH that if he has lasted since her conception, he can last till her first birthday, or get an interim mistress...

Oh Pandora...I love how you word things perfectly