HORRIBLE and/or HYSTERICAL pregnancy moments

[TravelingGal]

Trillionaire''s thread on pregnancy freaking her out had me thinking...we should give those who are freaked good reason to be so!

Want to share that one moment when you just thought, PREGNANCY SUCKS. Could be physical, mental, or just what people said to you. What will stick in your mind as the most "ARGH!" pregnancy moment?

Mine:

I was at a mall in Adelaide, Australia (Tea Tree Plaza, to be exact for you Aussies), 6.5 months pregnant when I sneezed.

And PEED.

I was wearing a dress and in horror tried to stop the floodgates. It wet my dress, legs, feet and I am sure also hit the tile. I just said to TGuy, "Oh my god, I just peed myself. Laugh and die." Smart man did not laugh and I walked slowly to the nearest bathroom with my thighs and knees together, pretty well pidgeon-toed.

I was afraid to sneeze for the rest of my pregnancy.

 

[lili]

LOL...good one TGal.

I'm thinking for one but can't come up w/ any to share

ETA: Ok, I just remembered this one.
My aunt just found out that I was 14 wks pregnant and she turned me over to look at my a$$ and said, "yep, you are pregnant"

 

[TravelingGal]

P.S. the irony is not lost on me that I was trying to go to the restroom AFTER I peed, but I had to wipe it all off.

 

[Mandarine]

LOL TG!

Well, I''ve peed myself s bit (ok, more than a bit) a few times already! It''s terrible....luckily I''ve been home!.

But I don''t have a great track record when it comes to this...not long ago (NOT pregnant) I peed myself at an airport!!!

Luckily I had clothes in my carry on to change in before getting on the plane!!!

 

[jas]

Snerk. I love this thread already!

Sadly I have many of these...they''ll all come back to me...

But for now:
1. Being 6 months pregnant and having everyone I walked past tell me, "Oh my God, you''re overdue!"

2. Waiting at a crosswalk when some 60 something gentlemen stranger ask me if I was going to breastfeed. And trust me, he wasn''t looking me in the eye when he asked. Double ew.

3. My mother-in-law showing her crack math skills by counting backwards and figuring out that we''d conceived when we''d vacationed at their winter home (they weren''t there.) Then she told everyone. I mean everyone. Then she kept telling us she''d bronzed the sheets. Then she told us to name the babies after the town. Then she told everyone that I was 35 when I conceived, especially if we weren''t even talking about the babies. It was like she had some weird blurting-out-about-jas''s-pregnancy disease. (She now constantly asks if my boys are playing with their, um, parts.)

4. Tooting for the first time in front of my husband. I''d spent 2 years trying to get him to stop tooting in front of me. Especially tooting+smirking or tooting+striking a pose as though he were choreographing his own gas. He''s still laughing about my one little honk; meanwhile he''s his own stinky percussion section with jazz hands.

 

[Mandarine]

4. Tooting for the first time in front of my husband. I''d spent 2 years trying to get him to stop tooting in front of me. Especially tooting+smirking or tooting+striking a pose as though he were choreographing his own gas. He''s still laughing about my one little honk; meanwhile he''s his own stinky percussion section with jazz hands.

LOL

Me too, me too...I admit it. Guilty as charged!

 

[lili]

Jas--
You poor thing, but I have to laugh at 4

 

[jas]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:05:34 PM
Author: Mandarine

4. Tooting for the first time in front of my husband. I''d spent 2 years trying to get him to stop tooting in front of me. Especially tooting+smirking or tooting+striking a pose as though he were choreographing his own gas. He''s still laughing about my one little honk; meanwhile he''s his own stinky percussion section with jazz hands.

LOL

Me too, me too...I admit it. Guilty as charged!

I always think of that when people gush on about the beauty of pregnancy. Maybe the "pregnant glow" is an accumulation of toxic gasses?

 

[jas]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:07:38 PM
Author: lili
Jas--
You poor thing, but I have to laugh at 4

Yeah, to be honest, it kinda cracked me up writing it. (It''s funny cuz it''s true.)

 

[lili]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:07:49 PM
Author: jas

Date: 6/22/2009 5:05:34 PM

Author: Mandarine

4. Tooting for the first time in front of my husband. I''d spent 2 years trying to get him to stop tooting in front of me. Especially tooting+smirking or tooting+striking a pose as though he were choreographing his own gas. He''s still laughing about my one little honk; meanwhile he''s his own stinky percussion section with jazz hands.

LOL

Me too, me too...I admit it. Guilty as charged!

I always think of that when people gush on about the beauty of pregnancy. Maybe the ''pregnant glow'' is an accumulation of toxic gasses?

I was never gassy while preggo,
but sure am postpartum.

 

[jas]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:09:42 PM
Author: lili

Date: 6/22/2009 5:07:49 PM
Author: jas

Date: 6/22/2009 5:05:34 PM

Author: Mandarine

4. Tooting for the first time in front of my husband. I''d spent 2 years trying to get him to stop tooting in front of me. Especially tooting+smirking or tooting+striking a pose as though he were choreographing his own gas. He''s still laughing about my one little honk; meanwhile he''s his own stinky percussion section with jazz hands.

LOL

Me too, me too...I admit it. Guilty as charged!

I always think of that when people gush on about the beauty of pregnancy. Maybe the ''pregnant glow'' is an accumulation of toxic gasses?

I was never gassy while preggo,
but sure am postpartum.

This is why the PS mommies can never meet near an open flame.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:02:19 PM
Author: jas
Snerk. I love this thread already!

Sadly I have many of these...they''ll all come back to me...

But for now:
1. Being 6 months pregnant and having everyone I walked past tell me, ''Oh my God, you''re overdue!''

2. Waiting at a crosswalk when some 60 something gentlemen stranger ask me if I was going to breastfeed. And trust me, he wasn''t looking me in the eye when he asked. Double ew.

3. My mother-in-law showing her crack math skills by counting backwards and figuring out that we''d conceived when we''d vacationed at their winter home (they weren''t there.) Then she told everyone. I mean everyone. Then she kept telling us she''d bronzed the sheets. Then she told us to name the babies after the town. Then she told everyone that I was 35 when I conceived, especially if we weren''t even talking about the babies. It was like she had some weird blurting-out-about-jas''s-pregnancy disease. (She now constantly asks if my boys are playing with their, um, parts.)

4. Tooting for the first time in front of my husband. I''d spent 2 years trying to get him to stop tooting in front of me. Especially tooting+smirking or tooting+striking a pose as though he were choreographing his own gas. He''s still laughing about my one little honk; meanwhile he''s his own stinky percussion section with jazz hands.

Ha, well I don''t know what''s worse...tooting for the first time and getting that reaction or:

being like me...who has no problem tooting in front of her husband. But pregnancy toots sounds and odors are in a class by themselves. It''s REALLY embarrassing when your husband, who usually couldn''t care less about your bodily productions, looks at you with his noise scrunched up and a face full of grimace and says, "What the F*CK is THAT?"

It is really humbling reaching that whole new level.

 

[lili]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:10:44 PM
Author: jas

Date: 6/22/2009 5:09:42 PM

Author: lili

Date: 6/22/2009 5:07:49 PM

Author: jas

Date: 6/22/2009 5:05:34 PM


Author: Mandarine

4. Tooting for the first time in front of my husband. I''d spent 2 years trying to get him to stop tooting in front of me. Especially tooting+smirking or tooting+striking a pose as though he were choreographing his own gas. He''s still laughing about my one little honk; meanwhile he''s his own stinky percussion section with jazz hands.

LOL

Me too, me too...I admit it. Guilty as charged!

I always think of that when people gush on about the beauty of pregnancy. Maybe the ''pregnant glow'' is an accumulation of toxic gasses?

I was never gassy while preggo,

but sure am postpartum.

This is why the PS mommies can never meet near an open flame.

Haha, or have romantic candle light dinners.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:02:07 PM
Author: Mandarine
LOL TG!

Well, I've peed myself s bit (ok, more than a bit) a few times already! It's terrible....luckily I've been home!.

But I don't have a great track record when it comes to this...not long ago (NOT pregnant) I peed myself at an airport!!!

Luckily I had clothes in my carry on to change in before getting on the plane!!!

You should have done it while TSA was patting you down.

 

[lili]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:13:10 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Ha, well I don''t know what''s worse...tooting for the first time and getting that reaction or:

being like me...who has no problem tooting in front of her husband. But pregnancy toots sounds and odors are in a class by themselves. It''s REALLY embarrassing when your husband, who usually couldn''t care less about your bodily productions, looks at you with his noise scrunched up and a face full of grimace and says, ''What the F*CK is THAT?''

It is really humbling reaching that whole new level.

LOL....I guess it''s to prepare us for the wonderful smell of poopy diapers.

 

[jas]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:13:10 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Ha, well I don''t know what''s worse...tooting for the first time and getting that reaction or:

being like me...who has no problem tooting in front of her husband. But pregnancy toots sounds and odors are in a class by themselves. It''s REALLY embarrassing when your husband, who usually couldn''t care less about your bodily productions, looks at you with his noise scrunched up and a face full of grimace and says, ''What the F*CK is THAT?''

It is really humbling reaching that whole new level.

I love this thread. I don''t think I''ve laughed this hard in years! (I couldn''t while pregnant, of course...see peeing comments)

 

[jas]

Ooh, another one. I was at a family event, only 3 months pregnant, but apparently large enough for my in-laws to call me Babar. Anyhoo, it was a buffet event with at least 100 people there. I swear to God my inlaws told everyone to clear the way so I could get to the buffet first.

Like I was some animal on the Discovery Channel, stampeding towards food.

I wish I''d tooted then.

 

[Mandarine]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:14:25 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/22/2009 5:02:07 PM
Author: Mandarine
LOL TG!

Well, I''ve peed myself s bit (ok, more than a bit) a few times already! It''s terrible....luckily I''ve been home!.

But I don''t have a great track record when it comes to this...not long ago (NOT pregnant) I peed myself at an airport!!!

Luckily I had clothes in my carry on to change in before getting on the plane!!!

You should have done it while TSA was patting you down.

LOL!!!
I think I was in such a state of shock that I stood there for like 5 minutes thinking...Holy S!!!!...Now what!!!!

 

[Mandarine]

Date: 6/22/2009 5:18:04 PM
Author: jas
Ooh, another one. I was at a family event, only 3 months pregnant, but apparently large enough for my in-laws to call me Babar. Anyhoo, it was a buffet event with at least 100 people there. I swear to God my inlaws told everyone to clear the way so I could get to the buffet first.

Like I was some animal on the Discovery Channel, stampeding towards food.

I wish I''d tooted then.

LOL!!! that''s too funny!!!

I''m so hungry lately that I tink I would have cleared the line myself...by tooting, of course!

When my sister was pregnant and she would get invited to dinner parties she would have dinner at home, before getting to their friends'' house...so that when she ate there she would appear to eat like a normal pregnant woman (aka: more than her husband) and not like a horse. She was a two-timer diner...lol

 

[TravelingGal]

And let''s not forget the first time you actually SEE how your nipples changed! There were expletives a plenty when I stared in shock, wide eyed at the mirror and thought, "Oh my GOD...I always thought only naked tribal people on the pages of National Geographic have nipples like THAT!"

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I'm sorry, but I wish I didn't find these stories SO funny

All these years later, I cannot forget the look on my OBGyn's face as I grabbed his wrist really hard and screamed at the top of my lungs "FOR GOD SAKES HELP ME".

All he and my DH could do was to step back from the crazy lady......I think peeing myself would have been a lot more gracious!!!!

cheers--Sharon

 

[TravelingGal]

I swear to god, I am not making this up...

I was showing my cousin how my belly button was WAY intact (I was quite proud and happy.

) when she asked, what''s that? and pointed to my belly. There were red marks there and I said, "Who knows...probably a rash." She looked at me with an uncertain "I don''t want to hurt your feelings" look and said, "TGal, I think those are stretch marks."

My fingers were white as they gripped they undersides of my belly to pull it up high enough to see (I rarely ever looked at my gut in the mirror and I was too fat to get an easy glimpse of my undersides) and sure enough, angry red stretch marks EVERYWHERE on the underside of my tummy only. I sighed and simply said, "Damn."

 

[AmberWaves]

Ugh, the nipples. I''ve told all my preggo friends about how huge they get. It''s like I''m cold ALL THE TIME. I hit them on doorknobs and when brushing my hair.

So far (only 18 weeks into my pregnancy) the worst part was when I had to use the bathroom BADLY. The smell (ah, there goes my ladylike demeanor) was so bad it brought back my morning sickness. To puke or to poo, that was the question. I literally turned left and aimed toward the sink, partially making it. That may have been the worst.

Another lovely time was when the morning sickness struck at 11pm, my toilet had already been overflowed (pregnancy poo strikes again) so I ran to use DH''s. The sight of his toilet made me throw up even harder, because there was all sorts of disgusting stuff in it, around it, beside it. I threw up heartily only to have it splash back into my just showered hair and face, which made me vomit even harder. Oh god, that was the worst feeling. My ribs and back ached for days after.

 

[ChinaCat]

OMG, I don''t know which one is making me laugh harder, but right now I''m going to have to go with Amber. Oh girl, that is so bad!!!!!

And JAS- what crazy family did you marry into?????

TGAL- GREAT thread.

 

[TravelingGal]

OK, so do you think this is possibly the worst TMI PS thread ever?

 

[AmberWaves]

Tgal, the rest of the posts just leave me panicked for the remaining 22 weeks! I can only pee on myself to add to the Pollock painting that was my first tri of bodily functions.

 

[natalina]

Oh my gosh, this is the best thread EVER! Although I agree with Amber, at 24 weeks preggo it has me terrified of things to come!!! So far, the only gross/weird thing I have experienced is this strange increased aversion to public restrooms. They always skeeve me out a bit, but now I literally have to psych myself up and then hold my breath to use one or I start gagging and once even threw up a little bit. And it doesn''t even matter if it''s clean and fresh...strange...

 

[jas]

Oh good lord, Amber. You poor thing. I hope you got your DH a toilet brush, some wipes, and instructions for Father''s Day.

China Cat -- you have no idea.

There was only one time I felt nauseated (never ever got sick though) -- was at the Lyric here in Chicago and the woman in front of me apparently liked to "layer" scent...all the fruity ones from Bath and Body Works. Ya know. The berry ones.

My eyes were watering, my head spinning. I had to leave before the finale.

My nurse at the Ob/Gyn was always so excited about my urine samples. I mean *really* excited. Apparently my "levels" were just all sorts of awesome and she wanted to celebrate. She did happy urine dip dances. And she wasn''t funny enough for me to think that was hysterical. She was just weird.

 

[jas]

I distinctly remember hitting that really randy part of pregnancy -- DH couldn''t figure out how to maneuver around my girth.

I welled up and said, "You''ve climbed 4 of the highest peaks in the world...you couldn''t figure this out?"

Maybe if I''d let him use poles and a shirpa, it would have helped.

 

[jas]

Wait -- Amber -- you hit your nips on doorknobs?