Caring for the elderly.

[Linda W]

Hi was wondering how everyone is doing???



Linda

 

[Ellen]

Date: 11/10/2008 1:32:45 PM
Author: Linda W
Hi was wondering how everyone is doing???



Linda

I was just coming to post. I called the doc this morning who gave mom that test. The results? It does not indicate she has a dementia, definitely not indicative of Alzheimer's. In fact, out of several categories, except for attention/concentration, she scored at average to above average for her peer group.

Now, that's good news, but, that's not indicative of what I/others are seeing. She got from everything that mom's memory problems seem to come and go, but I see a steady decline.

Without going through the whole story, mom was really sick almost 25 years ago, and developed epilepsy out of nowhere. It was totally gone within a year, but she has had these funny little spells ever since. The doctor suspected small seizures and wanted to know the last time she had an EEG. I thought it was the beginning of this year, before the ALZ diagnosais. So I called the other doc, and it was in Jan., all normal activity. So that rules that out, since mom's been doing this sporadically ever since she was ill 25 years ago. She told me if the EEG didn't indicate anything, she'd have her do a sleep test. That not enough sleep could cause this, and I know mom hasn't been sleeping well for the past few years.

I'm making an appt. with her regular doc tomorrow, and we'll see what he says. So I guess to sum it up, I don't know anything! And why two totally different opinions??


How's your mom Linda?

And how's everyone else??

 

[justjulia]

Kind of reminds me of the cardiologist just looked at me sideways when I suggested mom''s pacemaker might not be working correctly.

I swear to goodness, some doctors are idiots.

Sorry, but I lost my faith in doctors a long time ago. What they mean then they do this kind of thing is, "I don''t know what''s causing this and I really don''t have any idea of what to do next." Or, "it''s standard of care" and we will appease the family while the patient carries on because it''s just the natural aging process and why can''t you just deal with it lady.

Bah humbug.

(Okay, I feel better now.)

 

[Ellen]

Date: 11/10/2008 7:10:02 PM
Author: justjulia
Kind of reminds me of the cardiologist just looked at me sideways when I suggested mom''s pacemaker might not be working correctly.

I swear to goodness, some doctors are idiots.

Sorry, but I lost my faith in doctors a long time ago. What they mean then they do this kind of thing is, ''I don''t know what''s causing this and I really don''t have any idea of what to do next.'' Or, ''it''s standard of care'' and we will appease the family while the patient carries on because it''s just the natural aging process and why can''t you just deal with it lady.

Bah humbug.

(Okay, I feel better now.)

lol

You may be right. After dealing with my dad''s illness/death, I don''t even know why I wonder why I got two very different opinions.

 

[justjulia]

Date: 11/10/2008 8:03:02 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 11/10/2008 7:10:02 PM
Author: justjulia
Kind of reminds me of the cardiologist just looked at me sideways when I suggested mom''s pacemaker might not be working correctly.

I swear to goodness, some doctors are idiots.

Sorry, but I lost my faith in doctors a long time ago. What they mean then they do this kind of thing is, ''I don''t know what''s causing this and I really don''t have any idea of what to do next.'' Or, ''it''s standard of care'' and we will appease the family while the patient carries on because it''s just the natural aging process and why can''t you just deal with it lady.

Bah humbug.

(Okay, I feel better now.)

lol

You may be right. After dealing with my dad''s illness/death, I don''t even know why I wonder why I got two very different opinions.

Yes, after all, they are just that: opinions.

 

[Ellen]

Just wanted to spead some good news for a change. I weighed mom today and she''s gained 5 pounds, so up to 110 now. I told her whatever she was doing, to keep doing it!

How are you all (and families) doing?

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 11/25/2008 8:10:17 PM
Author: Ellen
Just wanted to spead some good news for a change. I weighed mom today and she''s gained 5 pounds, so up to 110 now. I told her whatever she was doing, to keep doing it!

How are you all (and families) doing?

Yay for your Mom Ellen, that''s great news!!!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 11/25/2008 8:15:08 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 11/25/2008 8:10:17 PM
Author: Ellen
Just wanted to spead some good news for a change. I weighed mom today and she''s gained 5 pounds, so up to 110 now. I told her whatever she was doing, to keep doing it!

How are you all (and families) doing?

Yay for your Mom Ellen, that''s great news!!!

Wonderful news!!! I am so happy for you!

I wanted to add that I am thankful for this thread; you all helped me through some tough times but w/all your kind words/thoughts it helped me lots bless you all

 

[Linda W]

Ellen,

That is such wonderful news. I am so happy to hear that. I wish you all and your loved ones a Very Happy Thanksgiving.

Love, Linda
xoxoxoxoxoxo

 

[Ellen]

Thanks guys!! I am really thinking a lot of it was lack of chewing teeth, and now that she's got partials, she can really eat again.


Skippy, glad we could help you.

Linda, wishing you the same miss!

 

[Skippy123]

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing? Hugs.

 

[diamondsrock]

Hi everyone!
haven''t posted here in a while but Ellen, glad your mom is doing well! That is so great.
My grandmother is almost recovered from shingles, which I''m gathering is quite painful. It developed as a rash around her eye (around her bad eye thank goodness, not the one she uses for sight). It spread to her upper head mostly. She still has pain but it''s not nearly as bad as it was before.
She is 86 but lately she''s been very, very tired. She takes coumadin for a heart problem, and her blood tested a bit on the thick side, so she needs to up her dosage a bit. I''m thinking maybe that is why she''s been so tired. Either that or the shingles thing kind of wiped her out.
Hope you all are doing well. I helped her out today with her Christmas shopping and she was exhausted by the time we were done. We only went locally, however, so I can only imagine she would have passed out if we went to the mall!

 

[Ellen]

Doing good Skip, thanks for asking!


dr, your poor gramma, shingles are very painful!! I''m sure they were taxing on her, at her age. I''m glad to hear she''s on the mend. And that was nice of you to take her shopping!

 

[Linda W]

Hi everyone,

I was wondering how you all were doing!!!!

DR: How is your grandmother??

Our holidays went well. My mother is getting very crabby now and really nit picks a lot. We all let it go in one ear and out the other. Hard to do at times Ha!!

Ellen: How is your mother?? How were your holidays?

Lisa: How are your parents?


Linda
xoxoxox

 

[Kaleigh]

This thread needs a bump. How is everyone doing? Ellen, Linda, DR, Skippy, and anyone else that is a care giver....

Can I say quietly, hate to jinx anything, but all is well with mine, thank goodness. I know it won't last forever, but am enjoying a break. I did rescue them the other night. Yanno how everything happens at once. DS was home, he had an asthma attack, out of no where. I was scrambling to get the nebulizer up and running. The phone rings, it was the alarm company for my parents house... They asked if I would come and secure the house!! I said I will in an hour or 2, I said my parents went out to dinner. Is the house OK? They said the police were on their way...

So off I go taking care of DS. He got to a stable place, sigh.. Always kills me. Phone rings, Dad says, we are locked out!!! Short end of it, police come and dead bolt any door that has one. Did we know that at the time?? Of course not, I was rubbing my hands raw in the cold trying to get the locks to open. Mind you it was 5 out, and late. Mom is freezing in the car, but the heat was on... Dad said we have to break a window. I said, we have to go around back and see which one, I don't need you breaking a window and then not being able to manuever the lock.. So he takes the metal head of a garden hose, and hits the window.


I am laughing thinking, OMG the neighbors are going to call the police for us breaking into their own house. He hits the window and nothing. Crickets in fact!! I said, when did you install bullet proof glass?? Trying to get him to laugh.

I knew then and there I had to get in somehow. I was thinking of the basement door. But before I got there, I tried to open a window. Voila, it opened with ease. I yelled, I'm in, can ya give me a leg up?? I got Mom out of the car, Dad back in the house. They said you saved us.. I should have looked for that wndow from the get go, but it never happens that way.

Dad now has the dead bolt keys on his key chain... All is good. LOL!!!

 

[Ellen]

Lisa, I totally didn't see this until just now when I came to post!! I'm sorry I didn't see it.

Good grief, lots of... excitement! lol Glad everything turned out ok. How's things now, seeing it's a month later!

Since my last post, mom has had an EEG, and a sleep test. Long story short, this neurologist says there's no reason for her forgetfulness. She doesn't have ALZ, not having siezures, no sleep apnea to speak of. (slight, but should not cause this) So, it's just "normal" for her. The good news is, there's nothing wrong. The bad news is, there's nothing wrong!

 

[Linda W]

Ellen, you are too funny. I guess it is just old age the forgetfulness.

Lisa, I didn''t see your post either, I am sorry. Good grief, what a fiasco. LOL. Glad everything turned out ok.


Linda

 

[justjulia]

How are you all (and other caregivers out there) doing? I thought of you this week when an old dear friend of my mother''s dropped by. It was like my mother came with her, in spirit. I had to regroup after she left, but I was fine.

Any stories to tell? Everything quiet on the homefront? I hope everyone''s well.

 

[Ellen]

Hey you, good to see ya!

All''s quiet on my end at the moment. I''ll probably regret saying that....

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 3/11/2009 11:35:55 AM
Author: Ellen
Hey you, good to see ya!

All''s quiet on my end at the moment. I''ll probably regret saying that....

Yeah all is quiet here too. Shhh, we might jinx ourselves.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 3/11/2009 2:48:04 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 3/11/2009 11:35:55 AM

Author: Ellen

Hey you, good to see ya!


All''s quiet on my end at the moment. I''ll probably regret saying that....

Yeah all is quiet here too. Shhh, we might jinx ourselves.

Same here and good to see all of you. Quiet here too, except my mom is very crabby and getting worse. She nit picks too.

 

[Ellen]

Glad to hear it gals.

 

[justjulia]

I''m glad to hear it, too. I guess no news is good news.

Yeah, that whole nit picky control thing is hard to deal with.

 

[Kaleigh]

Bumping this for Smurfysmiles....

 

[Smurfysmiles]

thanks kaleigh
basically my parents health (they are mid 60''s) has been on and off the last couple years. my final semester of college we found out my mom''s breast cancer had come back but they had no idea where it was coming from. Anyways they did exploratory surgery and basically had to remove 6 ft of intestines, part of her bowels and a tumor (i cant quite remember what they took it off of right of). They also removed her ovaries and her uterus. So they do this surgery and still don''t know where it''s coming from but they are telling us it''s stage 3 or 4 (I''m sure most of you know 4 is the worst). Anyways the stress from all that made my dad so worried and everything and he ended up getting a physical and they said if he had waited just an hour more he would have died. So he had triple bypass surgery. My mom didn''t do chemo because they said it was past the point where it would help and then my dad''s company switched medical companies which didn''t cover any of my mom''s cancer check ups and she didn''t even had the same doctor anymore. My parents have been in and out of the hospital now probably every other month with one problem or another and today they told my dad his kidneys are only operating at 30% efficiency. I''m just wondering if anyone else''s parents have kidney problems like this. I can''t find much online and I''m really worried he''s just gonna end up back up in the hospital again. Any help would be great, thanks guys

 

[Kaleigh]

Best thing you can do is be the best advocate for your parents that you can be. For your Mom, call the American Cancer society, they will help you. Ask the hospital for help where your Dad is. Make them know you are on top of your Dad''s care. Learn as much as you can. Being an advocate is key. I hope that helps some. I am no expert, but I have been in your position.... More times than I care to tell.

Hugs.

 

[justjulia]

Date: 3/14/2009 8:35:54 PM
Author: Smurfysmiles
thanks kaleigh
basically my parents health (they are mid 60''s) has been on and off the last couple years. my final semester of college we found out my mom''s breast cancer had come back but they had no idea where it was coming from. Anyways they did exploratory surgery and basically had to remove 6 ft of intestines, part of her bowels and a tumor (i cant quite remember what they took it off of right of). They also removed her ovaries and her uterus. So they do this surgery and still don''t know where it''s coming from but they are telling us it''s stage 3 or 4 (I''m sure most of you know 4 is the worst). Anyways the stress from all that made my dad so worried and everything and he ended up getting a physical and they said if he had waited just an hour more he would have died. So he had triple bypass surgery. My mom didn''t do chemo because they said it was past the point where it would help and then my dad''s company switched medical companies which didn''t cover any of my mom''s cancer check ups and she didn''t even had the same doctor anymore. My parents have been in and out of the hospital now probably every other month with one problem or another and today they told my dad his kidneys are only operating at 30% efficiency. I''m just wondering if anyone else''s parents have kidney problems like this. I can''t find much online and I''m really worried he''s just gonna end up back up in the hospital again. Any help would be great, thanks guys

Big huge hug from me here. Maybe you can talk with your dad''s doctor yourself to get the details and know what the next step should be. Are you the appointed power of attorney for your parents'' health care? It would allow doctors to keep you directly informed.
I''m praying for you guys.

 

[Ellen]

My goodness smurf, you (and your parents) have been through so much. {{{hugs}}}


Ditto on everything the ladies have suggested. And anytime you need to vent, this is the place. We are here for you.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I''m not quite sure if I am the power of attourney (nor do I know what that means

) but I do know that I have been put in charge of getting the will out and to the proper people when my parents pass away. Mostly I''ve been counting on my mom to pass the information on to us but with both of them as they get older they get more and more forgetful. I know in the event that a caregiver is needed that they will most likely be placed with my oldest sister because she is a medical nurse. I know they wouldn''t end up with me since I just got done living with them for the past ..24 years. And my other sister just doesn''t get along with my dad at all. It''s all pretty stressful. I''m hoping this medicine they put my dad on will help. Don''t I have to have permission from the patient to call the doctor to find out what is going on with my dad? I don''t even know the name of the doctor, it just feels like I''m really out of the loop sometimes *double sigh*

 

[justjulia]

Who lives closest to your parents right now? Is it your sister the nurse?

I recommend that you, your sisters, and parents have a face to face family meeting. It needs to be crystal clear how the will has been written, who is responsible for what, and who is the "executor" of the will. One of your sisters or you needs to be appointed "Power of Attorney." Power of Attorney require special paperwork that can be obtained from a lawyer. Basically, both of your parents will sign it and it will be notarized by a notary republic (usually handled by the lawyer). Then, the POA can advocate for either parent, settle bills and handle any unforeseen personal affairs. Also, ask the lawyer for the paperwork to make one of you the decider for healthcare...in this paperwork, there should also be written documentation saying if the parent wants to be resuscitated if they ever stop breathing (on their own or during surgery or other procedure)--this is called a "living will."

Step one: Call your sister the nurse and tell her your concerns. Get the dialogue going. Everyone needs to communicate right now.

Step two: Have a family meeting. If face to face is not possible, arrange the details by phone and then someone will need to get a lawyer involved. People do this every day and it is a standard procedure. Please do not put this off until your parents are unable to function coherently to sign off on. Must do now.

I'm really not trying to scare you. It's just something you have to do.

If a will is already written, make sure it is up to date and you and your parents have talked about its contents. Have another will, a "living will" drafted by a lawyer. Become legal Power of Attorney and also get power to make healthcare decisions (I'm trying to remember exactly what this health one is called).

Keep us posted.