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Caring for the elderly.

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Ellen

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She won''t get implants, it seriously would cost a fortune. And we don''t even have both new partials in her mouth yet, they''re barely paid for. (3000.00) It''s been a bunch of different reasons as to why they both aren''t in, but cross your fingers, I "think" they will be at the next visit. Of course, there will be minor adjustments along the way.

Yes, she likes smoothies, and makes them quite a bit. But they''re so "healthy", they don''t help put weight on her. My sis said she''s going to get her to eat more protein, that''s part of her problem. But her appetite is great.

She won''t do the walker, or even a cane, I already tried. Not gonna fight about it, sjhe knows better.... I did get her a new shower seat when she was hurting, so she''s got that if she needs it, and yes, there are bars for her to grab also.

Yeah, see, it''s got to be her idea, so.....I just wait until she either asks for something, or is so desperate she''ll accept it. That''s the only way it really "works" for both of us. *sigh*
 

justjulia

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Joined
Apr 4, 2006
Messages
2,308
I''m all for rice pudding and walnut butter cream ice cream! But seriously, what can you do?
(Yikes...3K?!)

Well, forget the walker then. I guess you have to choose your battles.

Will she drink Ensure? (In all honesty, i''m not sure I could drink that stuff.)
 

Ellen

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Date: 6/11/2009 9:00:57 PM
Author: justjulia
I''m all for rice pudding and walnut butter cream ice cream! But seriously, what can you do?
(Yikes...3K?!)

Well, forget the walker then. I guess you have to choose your battles.

Will she drink Ensure? (In all honesty, i''m not sure I could drink that stuff.)
Yes...

No, she won''t touch Ensure, it''s "dead food".
However, she did get some protien shake stuff from the healthfood store. I have a feeling she''s just not ever gonna regain all her weight back, and that maybe we''re just in a slow, downhill direction. Of course I could be wrong, and that''s not what I want, but that''s what my gut is sort of telling me.

On the other hand, if my sister has her way, she''ll "pray" her back to perfect health. I''m not touching that one....
 

justjulia

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Date: 6/12/2009 7:28:20 AM
Author: Ellen

Date: 6/11/2009 9:00:57 PM
Author: justjulia
I''m all for rice pudding and walnut butter cream ice cream! But seriously, what can you do?
(Yikes...3K?!)

Well, forget the walker then. I guess you have to choose your battles.

Will she drink Ensure? (In all honesty, i''m not sure I could drink that stuff.)
Yes...

No, she won''t touch Ensure, it''s ''dead food''.
However, she did get some protien shake stuff from the healthfood store. I have a feeling she''s just not ever gonna regain all her weight back, and that maybe we''re just in a slow, downhill direction. Of course I could be wrong, and that''s not what I want, but that''s what my gut is sort of telling me.

On the other hand, if my sister has her way, she''ll ''pray'' her back to perfect health. I''m not touching that one....
My husband''s mother began losing her memory in 1999 and gradually has been losing weight since. She''s frail, but ok health-wise. She just doesn''t know me or my children anymore. It''s heart breaking. What has that been, 10 years and counting?

Yeah, I could discuss that other topic, cause we''ve got one too, but I won''t touch it either.

I think it''s time for Dairy Queen. Pnbuster parfait calling my name. All hell can break lose, people can lose their minds, things can go to hell in a hand basket, but damn it I''m going to eat ice cream.
Ice cream is such a happy food! It''s the answer to everything!
(Random interjection, but I''m at a loss for words. But I am going to DQ now.)
 

Ellen

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Date: 6/12/2009 7:23:12 PM
Author: justjulia
My husband''s mother began losing her memory in 1999 and gradually has been losing weight since. She''s frail, but ok health-wise. She just doesn''t know me or my children anymore. It''s heart breaking. What has that been, 10 years and counting?

Yeah, I could discuss that other topic, cause we''ve got one too, but I won''t touch it either.

I think it''s time for Dairy Queen. Pnbuster parfait calling my name. All hell can break lose, people can lose their minds, things can go to hell in a hand basket, but damn it I''m going to eat ice cream.
Ice cream is such a happy food! It''s the answer to everything!
(Random interjection, but I''m at a loss for words. But I am going to DQ now.)
I hope you enjoyed it.



That''s so sad about hub''s mom, it''s such a sad state to be in. I truly hope I never get there.....
 

Kaleigh

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Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
29,570
Hey guys,
My latest delema is MOm is out of her mind and wants to drive. Her car is being used by DD. Mom didn''t follow through on PT with her elbow after second surgery, so has a gimpy arm. Sad, but I couldn''t talk her into keeping the splint. Dad is tired of listening to her complain and says, you guys are leaving let Mom have the car this weekend.... That was on my voicemail. Whereas the night before I told him no way no how. I will not give the keys to a lethal weapon when she can''t drive on a good day, license was taken away in PA. But somehow a few years ago, she got it in FLA.

So I called her Doc and layed it on the line. He agreed with me 100%. She''s on painkillers big time He said no way can she drive and will call Dad tomorrow.

DD and I leave early Thursday and are taking the keys with us. If they have another set , nothing I can do, but am so over being the only voice of reason.... My Aunt is calling my Dad tomorrow, and reaming him out, for even thinking of this... She''s a wonderful lady, so am very thankful she sees things as I do...

Any other advice??
Legal paramaters??


I can''t allow her to get behind the wheel and kill someone, or harm herself.....
 

Linda W

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Joined
Feb 15, 2006
Messages
10,630
Oh good grief Lisa, what is wrong with your dad????? I hope that they don''t have another set of keys!!!!!

I hope your aunt can talk some sense into your dad. You are doing all you can.

Hugs to you my friend.

Linda
xoxoxox
 

bebe

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
2,845
Date: 6/12/2009 7:28:20 AM
Author: Ellen


Date: 6/11/2009 9:00:57 PM
Author: justjulia
I'm all for rice pudding and walnut butter cream ice cream! But seriously, what can you do?
(Yikes...3K?!)

Well, forget the walker then. I guess you have to choose your battles.

Will she drink Ensure? (In all honesty, i'm not sure I could drink that stuff.)
Yes...

No, she won't touch Ensure, it's 'dead food'.
However, she did get some protien shake stuff from the healthfood store. I have a feeling she's just not ever gonna regain all her weight back, and that maybe we're just in a slow, downhill direction. Of course I could be wrong, and that's not what I want, but that's what my gut is sort of telling me.

On the other hand, if my sister has her way, she'll 'pray' her back to perfect health. I'm not touching that one....
Ellen, I understand your struggles to get some weight on her. My mom's Dr. put my mom on Magase (sp), she gained 20 lbs. in a few short months. But if your mom cannot eat solid food, what about a pureed diet? My mom is now on a pureed diet at her nursing home. I thought it would be gross, but it's ok and she's eating every morsel of it.
Smoothies and ice cream maybe? You can add all kinds of stuff in a smoothie. Good luck.
Ellen, forgive me for asking, but regarding your sister "praying her back to health". Is she C Science? I ask because my aunt is and I can't go there either!
 

strmrdr

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Joined
Nov 1, 2003
Messages
23,295
Date: 6/30/2009 11:21:31 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Hey guys,

My latest delema is MOm is out of her mind and wants to drive. Her car is being used by DD. Mom didn't follow through on PT with her elbow after second surgery, so has a gimpy arm. Sad, but I couldn't talk her into keeping the splint. Dad is tired of listening to her complain and says, you guys are leaving let Mom have the car this weekend.... That was on my voicemail. Whereas the night before I told him no way no how. I will not give the keys to a lethal weapon when she can't drive on a good day, license was taken away in PA. But somehow a few years ago, she got it in FLA.


So I called her Doc and layed it on the line. He agreed with me 100%. She's on painkillers big time He said no way can she drive and will call Dad tomorrow.


DD and I leave early Thursday and are taking the keys with us. If they have another set , nothing I can do, but am so over being the only voice of reason.... My Aunt is calling my Dad tomorrow, and reaming him out, for even thinking of this... She's a wonderful lady, so am very thankful she sees things as I do...


Any other advice??
Legal paramaters??



I can't allow her to get behind the wheel and kill someone, or harm herself.....
legally an out of state license isn't good in most states once you have lived there 30 or 60 days. So her PA revoked is her legal status that means no insurance either.

If her name is on the title of the car and she requests it back to refuse is theft by deception in most states.
But it isn't likely it will get that far.
If I did return it some vital parts would be removed so it wont start.
I wouldn't worry to much about her reporting it stolen but legally she could.
Getting the car out of her name would be a good idea.

You could remove the battery from the car and or lock it in a garage.
Then keys would do no good.

Practically,,, Dad is going to have keep her out from behind the wheel.
 

Kaleigh

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
29,570
Thanks Karl, no way is she going to get me arrested for theft... I didn''t borrow the car.. But I hear you.




The doc is on it, so is my Aunt. I''ll be out of town, so am leaving it to others to handle in the mean time. And let level heads prevail......


Oh if I knew how to mess with parts I would. I am not that car savvy..... LOL!!!!
I wish you lived closer!!!!!
 

justjulia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2006
Messages
2,308
I compare this with my mother handling her own meds. I finally had to act without her input, which was very hard considering all my life she was the boss. I had to start hiding it and administering every dose. I believe I would take the keys too, Lisa. Your dad''s voicemail is a cry for help. He''s caught between a rock and a hard place and is probably secretly relieved to have you and your aunt be the heavies; poor guy. Driving is the most independent adult thing ever. Very hard to take away.


I''d park the car at your aunt''s and take the keys. I know it doesn''t sound humane, but what if she hit someone and hurt a child or something like that?

Meanwhile, you will just have to act ignorant. "What voicemail?"
 

Skippy123

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Joined
Nov 24, 2006
Messages
24,299
Date: 7/1/2009 5:19:09 AM
Author: justjulia
I compare this with my mother handling her own meds. I finally had to act without her input, which was very hard considering all my life she was the boss. I had to start hiding it and administering every dose. I believe I would take the keys too, Lisa. Your dad's voicemail is a cry for help. He's caught between a rock and a hard place and is probably secretly relieved to have you and your aunt be the heavies; poor guy. Driving is the most independent adult thing ever. Very hard to take away.


I'd park the car at your aunt's and take the keys. I know it doesn't sound humane, but what if she hit someone and hurt a child or something like that?

Meanwhile, you will just have to act ignorant. 'What voicemail?'
I agree; my dad can't stop my mom from doing things and vice versa. Gosh I am sorry Lisa, I hope she doesn't drive; good thinking just Julia on parking the car at Lisa's aunt place!
 

Kaleigh

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Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
29,570
The Doc did speak to my Dad, and to my Mom. Mom just wants the car back this weekend, misses it. Ash and I dropped it off tonight. I made him swear, he will keep the keys all weekend. He will take her for a ride in it, hopefully that will cheer her up. She knows she can't drive. If she wants to drive she would have to pass a drivers test for PA, and when she was told that she said forget it. I just was floored she thought she could take this car for a spin without a thought to her ability to drive. A car is a lethal weapon and no way no how was I going to give her the keys to it.

Thanks JJ, Skippy, Linda and Karl.....
 

merrijoy

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Joined
Sep 8, 2006
Messages
369
Hello all,

I would like to join this thread. I am going to go back and read the posts here.

In summary, my parents are in their late 60''s early 70''s. What do you do when you come up with the phrase - "I don''t need you to be my parent. Worry about yourself and not me?" (heard from your parents).

In summary, my mom is showing possible signs of onset alzheimer''s or maybe manic/depression (more depressed not really manic) - my maternal grandmother was manic/depressive. My mom has not worked for I believe 2 years now (her company was bought out by another company and the folks that worked for the first company were let go). My mom does need to work for money and mental health, but with the cr*appy economy and companies/businesses not wanting to hire older people, it is very difficult. She is getting very, very, very down...Now saying that people look suspicious and she went to the hospital yesterday (mental) and she thought the doctor''s poisened her when they gave her blood pressure meds....Anyway, I want to help my dad. This is a huge stressor and he is finally opening up a bit, but he has said all my life "I do not need you to be my mother/parent". Have you heard this from your parents? What do/did you do?

Thank you for reading/helping. It is so hard to be a grown up.

~M
 

Ellen

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Joined
Jan 13, 2006
Messages
24,426
Date: 7/22/2009 10:11:52 AM
Author: merrijoy
Hello all,

I would like to join this thread. I am going to go back and read the posts here.

In summary, my parents are in their late 60''s early 70''s. What do you do when you come up with the phrase - ''I don''t need you to be my parent. Worry about yourself and not me?'' (heard from your parents).

In summary, my mom is showing possible signs of onset alzheimer''s or maybe manic/depression (more depressed not really manic) - my maternal grandmother was manic/depressive. My mom has not worked for I believe 2 years now (her company was bought out by another company and the folks that worked for the first company were let go). My mom does need to work for money and mental health, but with the cr*appy economy and companies/businesses not wanting to hire older people, it is very difficult. She is getting very, very, very down...Now saying that people look suspicious and she went to the hospital yesterday (mental) and she thought the doctor''s poisened her when they gave her blood pressure meds....Anyway, I want to help my dad. This is a huge stressor and he is finally opening up a bit, but he has said all my life ''I do not need you to be my mother/parent''. Have you heard this from your parents? What do/did you do?

Thank you for reading/helping. It is so hard to be a grown up.

~M
Ok, this is a HUGE red flag. Something is definitely wrong. Honestly, you shouldn''t have to say much to your dad, this says it all. He needs to get her an extensive evaluation and go from there.


No, I''ve not had my parents say they don''t need my help or that I was trying to parent them, as they both realized they did/do need my help. I would just be sincere and tell them you are concerned, and want to help them because you love them, not because you want to "parent" them. That''s what family does.

Does your dad realize he needs to get your mom some real help? If so, and he can handle it, then let him proceed, and just ask him to keep you up to date for now.


I''m so sorry this is going on, and yes, it''s hard. I''m glad you came here to talk it out, we''re here for you! {{{hugs}}}
 

merrijoy

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 8, 2006
Messages
369
Ellen,

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. You are an angel. I will definitely be back to talk more later. Thank you again - I can not say it enough - I felt your hug and I had tears in my eyes from your post.
 

Ellen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
24,426
Aw, you''re very welcome merrijoy, I''ll be here.
 

justjulia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2006
Messages
2,308
Date: 7/22/2009 10:11:52 AM
Author: merrijoy
Hello all,

I would like to join this thread. I am going to go back and read the posts here.

In summary, my parents are in their late 60''s early 70''s. What do you do when you come up with the phrase - ''I don''t need you to be my parent. Worry about yourself and not me?'' (heard from your parents).

In summary, my mom is showing possible signs of onset alzheimer''s or maybe manic/depression (more depressed not really manic) - my maternal grandmother was manic/depressive. My mom has not worked for I believe 2 years now (her company was bought out by another company and the folks that worked for the first company were let go). My mom does need to work for money and mental health, but with the cr*appy economy and companies/businesses not wanting to hire older people, it is very difficult. She is getting very, very, very down...Now saying that people look suspicious and she went to the hospital yesterday (mental) and she thought the doctor''s poisened her when they gave her blood pressure meds....Anyway, I want to help my dad. This is a huge stressor and he is finally opening up a bit, but he has said all my life ''I do not need you to be my mother/parent''. Have you heard this from your parents? What do/did you do?

Thank you for reading/helping. It is so hard to be a grown up.

~M
Hello Merrijoy,
You are not alone. I definitely felt what you are describing, though my mother expressed it in other words. Mood swings and all the verbage that goes with that. You learn to put your blinders on and prod on, cause you have to.

I''m curious why she went to the mental hospital. Does she have a history there? Is she on any kind of medication.? My mother had this kind of history, and whenever she started with this kind of language, I knew it was time to adjust her psychiatric and other medications. Easier said than done, I know.

Did they keep her for observation? Sorry to be so nosey, it''s just that I''ve walked in your shoes. It''s not fun.

Your dad may need to go talk with someone like a counselor, so he can deal with all of this. Who can you talk with?

I just wanted to say that you aren''t supposed to have all the right answers right now.
Make sure you take care of you in the midst of all the craziness.
 

Ellen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2006
Messages
24,426
Date: 7/22/2009 1:38:51 PM
Author: justjulia


I''m curious why she went to the mental hospital. Does she have a history there? Is she on any kind of medication.? My mother had this kind of history, and whenever she started with this kind of language, I knew it was time to adjust her psychiatric and other medications. Easier said than done, I know.
I was wondering this myself, but failed to ask.



And hey Miss Julia, good to see ya!
 

justjulia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2006
Messages
2,308
Thanks, Ellen. Hi back at cha.
How goes?

Do you know I could never grow my nails out until....my mother passed on. The coincidence is uncanny. So, anyway, I have grown all out but one thumb...I figure it''s some deep subconsious thing I have left to deal with, lol. Serious stress is a bitch.

Anyhoo, how is your mother these days?
 

Ellen

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Joined
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Messages
24,426
Date: 7/22/2009 2:38:09 PM
Author: justjulia
Thanks, Ellen. Hi back at cha.
How goes?

Do you know I could never grow my nails out until....my mother passed on. The coincidence is uncanny. So, anyway, I have grown all out but one thumb...I figure it''s some deep subconsious thing I have left to deal with, lol. Serious stress is a bitch.

Anyhoo, how is your mother these days?
Oh now THAT is interesting! lol, I hope you get over the last hump soon, so you''re all even!



*sigh* Well, mother is ok (as far as I know, we get some test results the first part of Aug). I, on the other hand, have been bumming. My sister started a temporary position Monday for 2 weeks. She''s filling in for a gal who was going on vaca, only the gal up and quit. So, if my sister works out, she''ll have a full time job, and I get to go back to being moms chauffeur. And, I already got to take her to the dentist twice on Monday, my first day back on the job.

She called and needed to go right then, they were fitting her in. I was not showered, not shaved, no make up, and had not eaten. (11 AM) So after literally throwing myself together and getting her, I waited til I was calm, and then nicely asked her to give me a heads up the next time. (she knew over the weekend she''d be calling) She got mad, and gave a lame excuse about why she didn''t let me know. She was still cool the second time around.


How do you deal with that? I wasn''t mean, I didn''t yell, though I fet like it, and all I asked her to do was give me some warning. And she gets mad? I give up.



Now, aren''t ya glad you asked??!
 

merrijoy

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 8, 2006
Messages
369
Date: 7/22/2009 2:24:24 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 7/22/2009 1:38:51 PM
Author: justjulia


I''m curious why she went to the mental hospital. Does she have a history there? Is she on any kind of medication.? My mother had this kind of history, and whenever she started with this kind of language, I knew it was time to adjust her psychiatric and other medications. Easier said than done, I know.
I was wondering this myself, but failed to ask.



And hey Miss Julia, good to see ya!
Hi, thanks for replying - she is on the typical depression meds and has been a few months now....She did not want to speak to anyone this whole time - ie psychiatrists/psychologists. Now she said she is suicidal so that is how she ended up in the mental facility. I am very tired from crying lots today so sorry for not writing more. My brain feels voided right now.

Thanks again.

M
 

Kaleigh

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
29,570
Date: 7/22/2009 10:51:36 PM
Author: merrijoy



Date: 7/22/2009 2:24:24 PM
Author: Ellen




Date: 7/22/2009 1:38:51 PM
Author: justjulia


I'm curious why she went to the mental hospital. Does she have a history there? Is she on any kind of medication.? My mother had this kind of history, and whenever she started with this kind of language, I knew it was time to adjust her psychiatric and other medications. Easier said than done, I know.
I was wondering this myself, but failed to ask.



And hey Miss Julia, good to see ya!
Hi, thanks for replying - she is on the typical depression meds and has been a few months now....She did not want to speak to anyone this whole time - ie psychiatrists/psychologists. Now she said she is suicidal so that is how she ended up in the mental facility. I am very tired from crying lots today so sorry for not writing more. My brain feels voided right now.

Thanks again.

M
I am so sorry Merrijoy, My Mom is in the same place... I know exactly how you feel. I offer you a huge hug. It's heart wrenching, and so hard on everyone involved. I think my whole family is tired, and tired of her being tired, and her not willing to deal with what is really the issue at hand. No one really knows or appreciates what the family goes through. So I know full well what you are going through. Take good care, we are here for you... It's a safe place to vent away,..... Lisa
 

justjulia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2006
Messages
2,308
Date: 7/22/2009 2:58:24 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 7/22/2009 2:38:09 PM
Author: justjulia
Thanks, Ellen. Hi back at cha.
How goes?

Do you know I could never grow my nails out until....my mother passed on. The coincidence is uncanny. So, anyway, I have grown all out but one thumb...I figure it''s some deep subconsious thing I have left to deal with, lol. Serious stress is a bitch.

Anyhoo, how is your mother these days?
Oh now THAT is interesting! lol, I hope you get over the last hump soon, so you''re all even!



*sigh* Well, mother is ok (as far as I know, we get some test results the first part of Aug). I, on the other hand, have been bumming. My sister started a temporary position Monday for 2 weeks. She''s filling in for a gal who was going on vaca, only the gal up and quit. So, if my sister works out, she''ll have a full time job, and I get to go back to being moms chauffeur. And, I already got to take her to the dentist twice on Monday, my first day back on the job.

She called and needed to go right then, they were fitting her in. I was not showered, not shaved, no make up, and had not eaten. (11 AM) So after literally throwing myself together and getting her, I waited til I was calm, and then nicely asked her to give me a heads up the next time. (she knew over the weekend she''d be calling) She got mad, and gave a lame excuse about why she didn''t let me know. She was still cool the second time around.


How do you deal with that? I wasn''t mean, I didn''t yell, though I fet like it, and all I asked her to do was give me some warning. And she gets mad? I give up.



Now, aren''t ya glad you asked??!
Sorry to reply late... I''ve been immersed in white paint. Once I start a project with it, everything else better run and hide. lol

What do you do? Well, I tried plain English, look in the eye, frankness with kindness and....it didn''t work. And i''d been rehearsing that approach for some time, thinking it would surely be the answer. After skirting those kind of remarks forever. So, I have very little success to use to advise you on.
I''m glad for your sis and the job and all, but dang.... now you are on call ALL the time. You may have to put your foot down and say w/o a day''s notice, you might not be able to accomodate an appointment....however, it''s a catlch 22 because they fitted her in.... ok, face it, you can''t win.

Better stock up on the Bud.
 

justjulia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2006
Messages
2,308
Date: 7/22/2009 10:51:36 PM
Author: merrijoy

Date: 7/22/2009 2:24:24 PM
Author: Ellen


Date: 7/22/2009 1:38:51 PM
Author: justjulia


I''m curious why she went to the mental hospital. Does she have a history there? Is she on any kind of medication.? My mother had this kind of history, and whenever she started with this kind of language, I knew it was time to adjust her psychiatric and other medications. Easier said than done, I know.
I was wondering this myself, but failed to ask.



And hey Miss Julia, good to see ya!
Hi, thanks for replying - she is on the typical depression meds and has been a few months now....She did not want to speak to anyone this whole time - ie psychiatrists/psychologists. Now she said she is suicidal so that is how she ended up in the mental facility. I am very tired from crying lots today so sorry for not writing more. My brain feels voided right now.

Thanks again.

M
Oh sweetheart,
It''s ok. Just breathe.
We''ve all been there, as a human race, in one way or another. Aging parents are tough. Tough tough tough.

You can''t hold up the earth on your shoulders alone. What she is doing is communicating the best way she can. Yes, it''s alarming, but think of it as a stress reliever for her. I''m sorry you have to be the brunt end of it.
Now, I know you probably know this, but it takes several attempts, usually, to get antidepressents right. Some people call it a "cocktail." Some people need a mood stabilizer with the serotonin uptake inhibitor (if that''s her type), and also something to ward off the side effects from that. It can take MONTHS of trying new combinations, depending on how the person reacts. Many times, people "give up" because they think, "well, that''s it and I''m supposed to feel like this." That''s not true. Communication MUST be kept with her prescribing doctor to tweak this thing until SHE FEELS GOOD. If I were you, I would ask your mother if you can set up another appointment with her dr and you go with her to ask questions and find out what more can be done. MJ, please don''t settle for "this is all we can do." Seek out another dr if your dr says that. I''ve been there and done that with my mother. It''s time to go to war.
 

justjulia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2006
Messages
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Date: 7/22/2009 11:03:36 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 7/22/2009 10:51:36 PM
Author: merrijoy




Date: 7/22/2009 2:24:24 PM
Author: Ellen





Date: 7/22/2009 1:38:51 PM
Author: justjulia


I''m curious why she went to the mental hospital. Does she have a history there? Is she on any kind of medication.? My mother had this kind of history, and whenever she started with this kind of language, I knew it was time to adjust her psychiatric and other medications. Easier said than done, I know.
I was wondering this myself, but failed to ask.



And hey Miss Julia, good to see ya!
Hi, thanks for replying - she is on the typical depression meds and has been a few months now....She did not want to speak to anyone this whole time - ie psychiatrists/psychologists. Now she said she is suicidal so that is how she ended up in the mental facility. I am very tired from crying lots today so sorry for not writing more. My brain feels voided right now.

Thanks again.

M
I am so sorry Merrijoy, My Mom is in the same place... I know exactly how you feel. I offer you a huge hug. It''s heart wrenching, and so hard on everyone involved. I think my whole family is tired, and tired of her being tired, and her not willing to deal with what is really the issue at hand. No one really knows or appreciates what the family goes through. So I know full well what you are going through. Take good care, we are here for you... It''s a safe place to vent away,..... Lisa
Great description, Lisa.
 

Ellen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2006
Messages
24,426
Date: 7/23/2009 7:35:25 AM
Author: justjulia
Sorry to reply late... I''ve been immersed in white paint. Once I start a project with it, everything else better run and hide. lol

What do you do? Well, I tried plain English, look in the eye, frankness with kindness and....it didn''t work. And i''d been rehearsing that approach for some time, thinking it would surely be the answer. After skirting those kind of remarks forever. So, I have very little success to use to advise you on.
I''m glad for your sis and the job and all, but dang.... now you are on call ALL the time. You may have to put your foot down and say w/o a day''s notice, you might not be able to accomodate an appointment....however, it''s a catlch 22 because they fitted her in.... ok, face it, you can''t win.

Better stock up on the Bud.
This really is the best advice I think you could have given. You''re right, I can''t win. *pops can*


Whatcha painting?
 

Ellen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2006
Messages
24,426
merri, Lisa and Julia gave you some great advice. Hang in there, I know it''s hard. And we''re all here when you''re up to talking.
 

Skippy123

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2006
Messages
24,299
Sending hugs to you Ellen, Kaleigh and Merrijoy.
 

Ellen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2006
Messages
24,426
Aw, thank you Skippers! I just luv your hugs.
 
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