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Caring for the elderly.

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justjulia

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Yes, I would contact the doctor''s office and ask what needs to be done so that they can talk with you about your dad. It may be that he has to sign something to give permission, or something like that.
 

Smurfysmiles

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thanks julia that helps a lot :)
we will all be together this june so hopefully we can get all of this done then
 

justjulia

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Good for you. No one likes to think about that side of things, but once it is done you can rest easier.


Date: 3/15/2009 2:43:34 PM
Author: Smurfysmiles
thanks julia that helps a lot :)
we will all be together this june so hopefully we can get all of this done then
 

Smurfysmiles

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update on my dad:
The ultra sound and MRI on Monday was very positive. His heart is beating normally, and his blood pressure is back under control, somewhat.

They will be monitoring his kidneys and urine flow for two months.

At the eye doctor today, they found that his right eye has a few concerns. The size of optic nerve on the right side is half of what the left side is. they will be monitoring this to keep track of any possible glaucoma development.
 

justjulia

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Date: 3/16/2009 7:16:35 PM
Author: Smurfysmiles
update on my dad:
The ultra sound and MRI on Monday was very positive. His heart is beating normally, and his blood pressure is back under control, somewhat.

They will be monitoring his kidneys and urine flow for two months.

At the eye doctor today, they found that his right eye has a few concerns. The size of optic nerve on the right side is half of what the left side is. they will be monitoring this to keep track of any possible glaucoma development.
Thank God, that is good news.

You are a really good daughter. Just take it one month at a time.
(I don''t know why things seem to happen in droves, but they do don''t they?) Maybe you''ll get some peace for a while now.
 

Smurfysmiles

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Yes it is very good news, they are so determined to dance their butts off at the wedding i think lol, so i know theyll stick to their diets :)
 

justjulia

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Date: 3/16/2009 10:24:40 PM
Author: Smurfysmiles
Yes it is very good news, they are so determined to dance their butts off at the wedding i think lol, so i know theyll stick to their diets :)
 

Skippy123

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I was justing thinking of you lovely ladies and wondering how your mom or dad is doing and you?
 

Ellen

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Thank you for asking Miss Skippy.



Mom has not been doing so well. I knew she had some Osteoperosis going on, and a couple old compression fractures in her back, but things have gotten worse. About a month ago, she woke up with new pain in her back. Loooong story short, she has 2 new compression fractures (cracks in the vertebrae), and the pain was horrendous. It hurt to sneeze, breathe, move, walk, you name it. On a scale of 1-10, she was giving it a 10+. It was bad. What was not helping, was her super sensitivity to pain meds, just about everything under the sun gives her dry heaves/vertigo. And, being the health nut that she is, she wasn''t entertaining the thought of a cortisone shot that can be given to relieve the inflamation/pain. Until the pain wouldn''t go away.

She finally relented on going to a pain management clinic, and they did some x-rays, an MRI, and a bone scan. Found the two new fractures, and gave her a cort shot, along with a pain patch. Thank God the patch worked well, the first shot did not. We went back and he gave her another shot, where the pain was really coming from, (only went by moms descriptoion and x-rays the first time), and hit the nail on the head with the second shot. Now pain level is at about a 2.

We went for another MRI yesterday, so he can get a second view to make sure she is a candidate for this cement stuff the shoot in her spine to cushion things. We go back Tuesday to find out. *fingers crossed*

Just a reminder, when you hit menopause, start taking Calcium, it''s important! That''s when your body really starts getting depleted. I find it ironic among other things, that my mother, who took every supplement under the sun, did NOT take the calcium the doctors told her to a few years ago. (I have no idea, could have been more than a few years) And there''s the key word, "doctors". She poo poo''d that advice, because of who it was coming from (she admitted this). She knew better, and look where it''s gotten her. *sigh* She was 3 inches taller than me, we''re the same height now.



Along with this, she has been in the process (for months now, literally) of getting both a new upper and lower partial. To say it has been a nightmare would not be over emphasizing too much. Teeth keep breaking right when we''re almost to the last appt. (5 scheduled appts. for each partial, plus numerous for comfort adjustments, and a temperary partial in the mix) And that makes sense, your teeth are like bones, the brittleness is showing up there too. I cannot tell you how many trips we''ve made to the dentist, seriously. But Lorelei could. Poor thing has been my sounding board!
Thank you friend.
(
)

She has also dropped weight again. She was up to at least 113-114, now back down to 108, way too thin. It doesn''t help that she can''t see and is so forgetful. It''s just all been going kind of downhill lately.

My sister, who lived in CA, is moving home for personal reasons, next Tuesday. I have to say, I''m thrilled. I''m just kind of at the end of my rope. Because with all this, mom has really been taking me for granted/not appreciating all I''ve been doing, and that has not helped. It would not help normally, but since our relationship has never been the best, it''s affected me much more. It''s taxing. So I am REALLY looking forward to my sister being here, she''ll be living with mom, and I will get a much needed break.

Mom and I were talking the other day about her seeming to "fall apart", and she mused aloud that she wondered if the Lord was bringing her family back so we''d all be together until she makes her exit. Could be, I never thought my sister would move back home. We''ll see how things go....



So, that''s my story and I''m stuck with it.
How''s everyone else doing?
 

Lorelei

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Date: 5/16/2009 7:32:47 AM
Author: Ellen
a temperary partial in the mix) And that makes sense, your teeth are like bones, the brittleness is showing up there too. I cannot tell you how many trips we''ve made to the dentist, seriously. But Lorelei could. Poor thing has been my sounding board! Thank you friend.
()
Most welcome!!!
 

Ellen

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Skippy123

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Ellen, wow, you and your mom have been through so much; I am sorry and I am glad your sister will be out there soon!!!!!!! You definitely need a break.
Oh gosh, I hope your mom is a candidate for the cement stuff; I have my fingers and toes crossed. Keep us posted. Aw, honey, sending you a huge {{{{{hug}}}}.

My parents are doing well and my sis has a baby on the way so think are pretty good for the most part, thanks.
 

Ellen

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Date: 5/16/2009 10:13:16 AM
Author: Skippy123
Ellen, wow, you and your mom have been through so much; I am sorry and I am glad your sister will be out there soon!!!!!!! You definitely need a break.
Oh gosh, I hope your mom is a candidate for the cement stuff; I have my fingers and toes crossed. Keep us posted. Aw, honey, sending you a huge {{{{{hug}}}}.

My parents are doing well and my sis has a baby on the way so think are pretty good for the most part, thanks.
Aw, nice news!

I''m glad to hear your parents are doing well! And thanks for the hugs, I needed them.
 

Kaleigh

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Ellen,
Sending you a HUGE HUG Sweets. I am so happy your sister is moving home. I know it will be a big relief to you to have some help with your Mom. I am praying the cement thing works... Hang in there, you are such a great person!!!
 

Ellen

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Thank you miss.


I really hope that a) her fracture is even a candidate for the cement, and b) it works. And yes, my sis coming home is big relief.
 

justjulia

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Goodness. When it rains...
Your poor mother thinks she's been protecting herself all this time with those supplements. She must be really confused with all the changes. And I'm sure she's taking all this out on you, bless your heart.

Thank God your sister is coming home. You need the help.

So, how did the appointment today go? I've been meaning to write but changed email addresses and had a little difficulty logging on-Andrey got me fixed up today.
 

Ellen

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Hey stranger!


Rain, yes.... Well she''s a candidate for the cement, and she''ll be getting that done Friday morning. It took a bit of talking into, unbelievably. He said her options were to either get the cement, or live with the pain patches for about the next 6 months while it (possibly) healed. The patches are making her kind of dizzy, though not bad. So she briefly entertained the thought of trying to "limp by" on Ibuprofen. We both just looked at her and said, do you remember the pain you were in, that''s what it would be like, for months. And, she wouldn''t be allowed to do almost any type of physical activity, not that she would be able to do anything anyway in so much pain. So she finally relented. *sigh*


Julia, I honestly don''t know what she thinks about all the supplements. But I''m sure she''s sorry she didn''t take the one thing she should have, the Calcium. She''s a case, did what she didn''t need, wouldn''t do what she did. I broached her months ago on getting a First Alert bracelet, she had thought of it too, until she found out the cost. Then she decided she didn''t need it right now. Ok....And, yesterday I said to her, do you have your Nitro pills still in your purse? She said no, she took them out awhiler back, she had decided she didn''t need them. I guess because she hadn''t had a heart attack? I put them back in her purse. She''s just not thinking clearly/rationally, but you can''t make her see that.

Oh, and after we finally had her done with going to all these different docs, she''s back at it. Went to another one, because of the same old, she doesn''t "feel good". It couldn''t be that she''s 83, is about 15-20 lbs. underweight, and has pretty bad Osteoperosis. I know now, she''ll never quit, and I''m not even going to object anymore. What''s the point? My sister can deal with her if she wants, I''m done.


So that''s the story Larry. Thanks for checking in!
 

Skippy123

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Ellen, I have been thinking about you and your mom and remembered she had her appt yesterday. She gave into having the cement? that is good! Fingers and toes crossed it works. I am glad your sister is taking over; you need a break.
huge hugs friend.
eta: thanks about my sis.
 

Linda W

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Ellen,


I am so glad your mom gave in to having cement and hope it works.. I am equally happy to see your sister is moving back home. That is going to help you out so much and give you much need help.

A great big hug to you my friend.


Linda
 

Ellen

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Thank you gals! Yes, I pray it works too. He said it doesn't in less than 1%, so.....knowing my mom, she'll be in it.


My sister could be a big help, or a big headache, or both. We shall see.



And fank you for the hugs!
 

justjulia

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Isn''t it freakin crazy how people will avoid the very thing that is supposed to help the most. I don''t even have words to tell you how sorry I am you are having to micromanage all this.

At least the cement treatment is a "go."

And the nitro pills? What the? She CAN''T walk around without those.
 

Ellen

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Date: 5/20/2009 4:51:31 PM
Author: justjulia

Isn''t it freakin crazy how people will avoid the very thing that is supposed to help the most. I don''t even have words to tell you how sorry I am you are having to micromanage all this.

At least the cement treatment is a ''go.''

And the nitro pills? What the? She CAN''T walk around without those.
Sure she can, and she did.
SO glad I thought to ask, that was a first....

Thanks Julia. I am beat, I will fill you in on another not funny tale tomorrow. I need to call my mother first, to find out if it''s just not funny, or, worse. *sigh*

 

justjulia

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Date: 5/20/2009 8:21:18 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 5/20/2009 4:51:31 PM
Author: justjulia

Isn''t it freakin crazy how people will avoid the very thing that is supposed to help the most. I don''t even have words to tell you how sorry I am you are having to micromanage all this.

At least the cement treatment is a ''go.''

And the nitro pills? What the? She CAN''T walk around without those.
Sure she can, and she did.
SO glad I thought to ask, that was a first....

Thanks Julia. I am beat, I will fill you in on another not funny tale tomorrow. I need to call my mother first, to find out if it''s just not funny, or, worse. *sigh*

I''m afraid to ask.

What in the world happened?
 

diamondsrock

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hello everyone!

Ellen, you certainly have had your plate full. What a relief your sister is moving back. I can imagine what that means to you. One person can only do so much, and you''ve done more than your share. I''m glad someone else will be there to help out. You need a break! I know as much as we love them sometimes we need a break, and that''s ok.

Skippy, great news about your sis!

My grandmother is doing ok. Her eyesight seems to be declining, even with the injections she receives, although those are what are preventing her from becoming totally blind so I am grateful for them. Just yesterday she mentioned maybe getting a car and driving locally - not going to happen and she knows that, it''s just so hard for her to accept that she''ll never drive again. I have to be the voice of reason. Also, she needs to be evaluated for a blockage in her neck artery soon to see if she needs surgery. She''s pretty nervous about it, but I''ve read it''s a fairly low complication rate type of surgery, although to me it sounds very serious. They pretty much open up the artery and clean it out. Anyways, we''ll see how that goes. I can''t imagine doing major surgery on someone who is 87, but who knows. I guess if you need the surgery and don''t have it, then you''re at risk for stroke, so it may be necessary. She also lost her last dear friend a couple of weeks ago so that''s been hard for her. She had a group of friends for years, and one by one they all passed away, and this was the last one. Memorial Day will be hard for her as she always spent it with this woman, and now she''s no longer here. This is the woman who lived at the nursing home which I used to take her to visit. I saw the woman''s granddaughter (whom I knew), and she was saying she felt so bad for my grandmother, losing her lifelong friend and all, and I said yes, but you lost your grandmother so I feel badly for you, too! I guess everyone knew how close they were.
 

Skippy123

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diamondrocks, saying prayers and good thoughts for your grandmas surgery, when will it happen? It is understandable to be nervous about any sort of procedure; sending you a hug. Oh gosh, your poor grandma; I can't imagine losing all her friends. That must be really tough.
You sound like you are a huge support to your dear grandma. Sending you two a {{{{{{huge hug}}}}}}.

thanks about my sis; it is very exciting to know my parents will be able to see another one of their grandchildren.


Ellen, hugs and praying she isn't the 1 percent.
 

Ellen

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Date: 5/20/2009 8:27:45 PM
Author: justjulia
I'm afraid to ask.

What in the world happened?
Well, the back doctor had told her on Tuesday that she wasn't to ever walk on her treadmill again, the pounding is not good for her fragile spine. But she could get an elliptical machine instead. (she gets terribly antsy, has to really move each day) She also wasn't supposed to do any lifting, or anything strenuous. Basically, she wasn't supposed to do anything until after the injection, and after she had recouped. About a week, relatively short. Anyway, on the way home, she said she wished we had time to go look at elliptical machines. I told her we really had no need to go now anyway, as she would want to try them out, and she shouldn't do anything before the injection. She mused I had a point.

So, I drop her new batch of pain patches off yesterday, and she and my sister had been out. Sis took her for some bloodwork, and then, they went to look at, and try out, elliptical machines!
I did not tell my sis not to take her, because WHY would I think mom would ask her to, after the doctor just told her not to do anything...To top it off, the day before she saw a dog walking around her house, and was convinced it wanted a drink of water. I don't know exactly how she knew this....so what did she do? She filled a bucket halfway up with water and carried it out to the driveway. Her back is now more messed up. She said the act of tying her shoes, when you pull the bows tight, really hurts, on the pain patch. *sigh* So she called the back doc yesterday, and told the nurse what she did. The nurse thinks she probably didn't mess it up to the point she can't have the injection, I guess just really aggrivated the fracture sight. So she emphatically told her to do nothing until she gets the injection. Hopefully she listens/remembers. And that's the thing, she's so forgetful, and so headstrong, I often don't know which it is when she does something.


Anyway, hopefully we'll be over all this by Friday.





dr, I'm so sorry to hear her friend died. That's really going to be another big adjustment for her.
And I'm sorry to hear her sight is getting worse, mom thinks hers is too. It's so sad, and frustrating for them, I know. And the giving up driving is extremely hard, I still don't think my mom's over it, and it's been years.

I am really glad your grandmother has you though.
Hang in there, she'll need you now more than ever.
 

Ellen

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Date: 5/21/2009 8:35:13 AM
Author: Skippy123
diamondrocks, saying prayers and good thoughts for your grandmas surgery, when will it happen? It is understandable to be nervous about any sort of procedure; sending you a hug. Oh gosh, your poor grandma; I can''t imagine losing all her friends. That must be really tough.
You sound like you are a huge support to your dear grandma. Sending you two a {{{{{{huge hug}}}}}}.

thanks about my sis; it is very exciting to know my parents will be able to see another one of their grandchildren.


Ellen, hugs and praying she isn''t the 1 percent.
Oh, me too. *sigh* Honestly, it would be her luck.....

Love yer hugs.
 

justjulia

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Skippy-sorry I missed the part about your sister having a baby. That''s exciting news.

Dr- I can''t imagine what it''s like to watch someone lose people they knew and loved.

Ellen- I''m thnking your mom''s memory is going to get the best of her, eh? That and the strong will. What a powerful combination. I recall my mother decided that she could "barter" and get her way, as in doing bunches of leg lifts meant she could smoke one more. Kinda loopy thinkin.
But your sister allowing her to try ellipticals? Is she that intiidated by your mother? How, I ask you, can she remember that she should try something like an elliptical but not that she shouldn''t try it now? Don''t you just want to put people over your knee and spank them sometimes??! But you can''t because they are an adult! Damn. Damn. Damn. Sometimes you just gott say "damn!"
Your sister is going to have to learn the concept of tough love.
 

justjulia

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Oh, and DR, I knew a man who had that same surgery and he was up and adam pretty quick. He felt great afterwards! I hope the same for your grandma.
 
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