What should I do with this (too?) big solitaire?

[Bonfire]

You will get as many differnt opinions as there are PSers to offer them! Your ring is stunning. Wear it however it makes you happy. There are no rules about how you choose to wear your jewelery, except to enjoy it! I hope you will.

 

[cinnamonstick]

You will get as many differnt opinions as there are PSers to offer them! Your ring is stunning. Wear it however it makes you happy. There are no rules about how you choose to wear your jewelery, except to enjoy it! I hope you will.

Bonfire said it well ....it's true!

 

[Lookinagain]

I think you can wear it however you want, as the others have said. I also think you can wear a solitaire without it being an engagement ring. People, both single and married, love diamonds. And sometimes a diamond looks best on a persons hand as a solitaire. I have no qualms about wearing a solitaire on either hand, married or not. So again, do what makes you happy. I wouldn't feel compelled to do anything just because you are worried what others think. I have a few solitaires (large and small) and I love to stack them with bands and do so on either hand. No one ever comments and if they did, I wouldn't care.

 

[VRBeauty]

Oh gosh, that is gorgeous with your diamond band! I'd personally just have two engagement rings and wear each of them on different days (left hand) or wear the smaller engagement ring on the right hand. I think the large diamond looks fabulous as an e-ring! I do not like a solitaire as a right hand ring, so if you want to wear the large diamond on your right hand, just have it reset into an antique style setting that is not a solitaire. I would wear the large stone on the left, though. It's beautiful!

Ditto. Keep it as is and wear it on your left hand for special occasions or when you feel like it. I suspect that over time you'll get used to the size and wear it more regularly. BTW if the diamond feels too large for you as a ring, it'll probably feel too large for you as a pendant as well, so personally I wouldn't go that route.

I actually have a similar dilemma that has to do with the 2+ ct diamond I inherited from my mother. It was my grandmother's before that, and I know my grandmother went to great pains to keep it in the family during the war (she lived in an occupied country) so it has special meaning to me and I don't want to sell or re-cut it. But I'm single and I also don't want anything that looks too much like an engagement ring. I've been looking some of LoveAffairDiamond's signature and CvB settings as settings that might work well for right-hand rings. For me, it would be a case of putting an heirloom diamond in an heirloom-quality setting as well. http://www.loveaffairdiamonds.com/solitaires-and-halos/ The other direction I'm considering is to set the diamond in a Sholdt setting for a more contemporary look - decisions, decisions! In any event, I think you can have a large RHR that doesn't scream "engagement ring."

 

[Acinom]

It's beautiful!! In my opinion it looks amazing with your wedding band. You could consider resetting your e-ring into a pendant so you can still wear it every day. That way you get the most wear out of both. I also love it as a RHR but I am European and we have other 'design rules and aestethics when it comes to solitaires. Probably because e-rings are not as common as in the US.

 

[crazydoglady]

It's beautiful!! In my opinion it looks amazing with your wedding band. You could consider resetting your e-ring into a pendant so you can still wear it every day. That way you get the most wear out of both. I also love it as a RHR but I am European and we have other 'design rules and aestethics when it comes to solitaires. Probably because e-rings are not as common as in the US.

My engagement ring is an Art Deco antique, so I would never change it, but I think I will move it to my right hand for now. I am very intrigued about ring practices in Europe. I actually have a plain gold band that I got for my birthday on my honeymoon that I wear sometimes with nothing else at all, after falling in love with that style on some of my European friends. Do most people you know in Europe have diamonds or do they wear plain bands? I know it varies from country to country and from city to town, but I just mean in general. It seems like most times I've been traveling, people only have plain bands.

 

[crazydoglady]

Oh gosh, that is gorgeous with your diamond band! I'd personally just have two engagement rings and wear each of them on different days (left hand) or wear the smaller engagement ring on the right hand. I think the large diamond looks fabulous as an e-ring! I do not like a solitaire as a right hand ring, so if you want to wear the large diamond on your right hand, just have it reset into an antique style setting that is not a solitaire. I would wear the large stone on the left, though. It's beautiful!

Ditto. Keep it as is and wear it on your left hand for special occasions or when you feel like it. I suspect that over time you'll get used to the size and wear it more regularly. BTW if the diamond feels too large for you as a ring, it'll probably feel too large for you as a pendant as well, so personally I wouldn't go that route.

I actually have a similar dilemma that has to do with the 2+ ct diamond I inherited from my mother. It was my grandmother's before that, and I know my grandmother went to great pains to keep it in the family during the war (she lived in an occupied country) so it has special meaning to me and I don't want to sell or re-cut it. But I'm single and I also don't want anything that looks too much like an engagement ring. I've been looking some of LoveAffairDiamond's signature and CvB settings as settings that might work well for right-hand rings. For me, it would be a case of putting an heirloom diamond in an heirloom-quality setting as well. http://www.loveaffairdiamonds.com/solitaires-and-halos/ The other direction I'm considering is to set the diamond in a Sholdt setting for a more contemporary look - decisions, decisions! In any event, I think you can have a large RHR that doesn't scream "engagement ring."

I am already getting more used to it on my left hand after initial freaking out. Such is the way with diamonds, I suppose.

Those settings you linked to are so so amazing!!!!! And I think the family history of your diamond is wonderful! If I were you, I would definitely want to put it in one of those heirloom settings and wear it as often as you wanted. Something that ornate doesn't scream engagement ring to me, and with that much family history, it seems sad to have it stowed away and not enjoyed.

 

[crazydoglady]

Oh gosh, that is gorgeous with your diamond band! I'd personally just have two engagement rings and wear each of them on different days (left hand) or wear the smaller engagement ring on the right hand. I think the large diamond looks fabulous as an e-ring! I do not like a solitaire as a right hand ring, so if you want to wear the large diamond on your right hand, just have it reset into an antique style setting that is not a solitaire. I would wear the large stone on the left, though. It's beautiful!

I will tell you that my original diamond was 1 ct and the one I currently wear (anniversary gift) is 2.3 cts and it still feels a little too big for me at times. So when I don't want to flaunt the large diamond for some reason, I usually wear a 5 stone diamond band that I have.

Is that your ring in your profile picture?? GORGEOUS!! It is breathtaking! I think I will end up doing what you do. Wearing either on my left hand, depending on how much bling I want, and wearing my original engagement ring as a RHR sometimes.

 

[Jambalaya]

I don't think it looks too large at all. I think diamond solitaires look large only when they cover your whole finger width. And while I do see what you mean about a solitaire on a right hand, that's just cultural conditioning, really. I think a right-hand solitaire can look elegant and beautiful, as in the co-worker example that someone stated.

If you like the ring, rock that baby on your right hand. There is plenty of finger visible on either side so I don't think it looks too big at all.

FWIW, it's not the same but I have a gorgeously convincing CZ solitaire that I wear on my right hand and it's just under 10mm, so about two-and-three-quarter carats, size-equivalent, roughly. I do not feel that it's too big.

If you continue to feel awkward about it, make it into a pendant. It will look smaller against the sweep of your neck than on your finger.

 

[Acinom]

It's beautiful!! In my opinion it looks amazing with your wedding band. You could consider resetting your e-ring into a pendant so you can still wear it every day. That way you get the most wear out of both. I also love it as a RHR but I am European and we have other 'design rules and aestethics when it comes to solitaires. Probably because e-rings are not as common as in the US.

My engagement ring is an Art Deco antique, so I would never change it, but I think I will move it to my right hand for now. I am very intrigued about ring practices in Europe. I actually have a plain gold band that I got for my birthday on my honeymoon that I wear sometimes with nothing else at all, after falling in love with that style on some of my European friends. Do most people you know in Europe have diamonds or do they wear plain bands? I know it varies from country to country and from city to town, but I just mean in general. It seems like most times I've been traveling, people only have plain bands.

I live in the Netherlands and the classic tradition here is a yellow gold plain band. We now see more and more rings with a little diamond in it or more modern white gold bands. More and more women are choosing there own individual bands. Sometimes custom made.

E-rings are not common at all, but I guess we will see more of those, influenced by the States. One of my friends got a half eternity with little emeralds and diamonds. She is the only one from my large group of friends! A young co-worker got a wide band with a medium sized diamond and 2 matching bands. She is the only one from my large group of co-workers who received a e-ring. Women do wear solitaires. Often they get one from their parents when they turn 18.

Glad you are coming to peace with your stunning new ring.
Do you also have pics of your Art Deco vintage e-ring? It sounds stunning.

 

[VRBeauty]

I live in the Netherlands and the classic tradition here is a yellow gold plain band. We now see more and more rings with a little diamond in it or more modern white gold bands. More and more women are choosing there own individual bands. Sometimes custom made.

E-rings are not common at all, but I guess we will see more of those, influenced by the States. One of my friends got a half eternity with little emeralds and diamonds. She is the only one from my large group of friends! A young co-worker got a wide band with a medium sized diamond and 2 matching bands. She is the only one from my large group of co-workers who received a e-ring. Women do wear solitaires. Often they get one from their parents when they turn 18.

Glad you are coming to peace with your stunning new ring.
Do you also have pics of your Art Deco vintage e-ring? It sounds stunning.

Acinom: My parents lived in the Netherlands when they got engaged (and I was born there). Their gold bands were purchased to commemorate their engagement, and are engraved with their engagement dates. As I understand it, they wore their bands on one hand (the left hand, I believe) while engaged and then moved them to the other hand when they got married. That was back in the 50's. I was wondering whether this is still the custom? (My mother didn't receiver her diamond ring until 20 years of so later, when my paternal grandmother visited us and gave it to her.)

crazydoglady - Please forgive this brief hijack!

 

[crazydoglady]

I live in the Netherlands and the classic tradition here is a yellow gold plain band. We now see more and more rings with a little diamond in it or more modern white gold bands. More and more women are choosing there own individual bands. Sometimes custom made.

E-rings are not common at all, but I guess we will see more of those, influenced by the States. One of my friends got a half eternity with little emeralds and diamonds. She is the only one from my large group of friends! A young co-worker got a wide band with a medium sized diamond and 2 matching bands. She is the only one from my large group of co-workers who received a e-ring. Women do wear solitaires. Often they get one from their parents when they turn 18.

Glad you are coming to peace with your stunning new ring.
Do you also have pics of your Art Deco vintage e-ring? It sounds stunning.

Acinom: My parents lived in the Netherlands when they got engaged (and I was born there). Their gold bands were purchased to commemorate their engagement, and are engraved with their engagement dates. As I understand it, they wore their bands on one hand (the left hand, I believe) while engaged and then moved them to the other hand when they got married. That was back in the 50's. I was wondering whether this is still the custom? (My mother didn't receiver her diamond ring until 20 years of so later, when my paternal grandmother visited us and gave it to her.)

crazydoglady - Please forgive this brief hijack!

What a coincidence! The friends who inspired my gold band are from the Netherlands too! Obviously I understand the appeal of diamonds, but there is something just so nice and serious about a plain gold band. I think it's very romantic.

 

[crazydoglady]

I don't know if I should start a new topic for this, or if it's okay to just add on. I have a few follow up questions, and everyone was so helpful before. My question is two parts. I've searched the forum for answers already extensively, but can't find exactly what I am looking for.

First of all, my wedding band is shared prong, and I am worried about it rubbing against the solitaire ring and damaging it. I read one person on this forum saying that essentially all shared prong bands really should be used with a spacer, but I guess I'm hoping that I'll get a different answer than I already found since I see shared prong bands in a lot of pictures with no spacers. Currently the diamonds in my band are not rubbing against the solitaire's prongs, just against the band, which is yellow gold.

That brings me to question number two. I would love to have this thing set lower, but I am not sure how much lower it can even go. The stone seems very deep, and while I'm no expert, it is an old cut, so I suppose it it might make sense that it is deep for its face up size and I'm not crazy thinking that. I can't find any pictures of people resetting rings to be lower set. Are there online retailers that are recommended for that type of thing? Any before and after pictures? And...the big question...if I don't need a spacer now, will a reset mean that I suddenly do??

Edited to add a couple photos, I don't know if they help or not. They are just crappy cell phone pictures under terrible indoor lighting at night.

 

[cinnamonstick]

Hi Ceazydoglover,
Can't comment a ton but will love to read the replies. No clue about the shared prong. Those two rings look incredible together!

I do think older cuts are deeper? I think they're so amazing and hope to own one some day. I do think I read it somewhere along the line though that they tend to be deeper than modern RBs (?).

There are definitely some settings that are lower than others. A bezel, a trellis, basket maybe... and so on. Of course it would depend on the depth of the stone. Yours is big Big and beautiful!

My new trellis ring has a 2.16 RB in the center and is amazingly low (south paw). I know your diamond is larger, therefore will be taller. Do you happen to have a side view picture that you can post of the ring in the current setting? Bead on side view? We can look and see how high up the cutlet/ring head is from your finger. Does it look like there is some room?

It's funny because when I was exploring ring options, variois local jewelers said "well it can only be set so low because it's a two ct" whenever I mentioned a low set. Well....it's LOW.

 

[crazydoglady]

Hi Ceazydoglover,
Can't comment a ton but will love to read the replies. No clue about the shared prong. Those two rings look incredible together!

I do think older cuts are deeper? I think they're so amazing and hope to own one some day. I do think I read it somewhere along the line though that they tend to be deeper than modern RBs (?).

There are definitely some settings that are lower than others. A bezel, a trellis, basket maybe... and so on. Of course it would depend on the depth of the stone. Yours is big Big and beautiful!

My new trellis ring has a 2.16 RB in the center and is amazingly low (south paw). I know your diamond is larger, therefore will be taller. Do you happen to have a side view picture that you can post of the ring in the current setting? Bead on side view? We can look and see how high up the cutlet/ring head is from your finger. Does it look like there is some room?

It's funny because when I was exploring ring options, variois local jewelers said "well it can only be set so low because it's a two ct" whenever I mentioned a low set. Well....it's LOW.

Thank you!! I'm glad both rings work together! It's just a big coincidence that they do. Your ring is gorgeous!!! I always loved that style! it looks perfect and great for everyday wear! Unfortunately I am working with a solitaire and a different band, or else I would just shamelessly copy you!!!

I also love old cuts, and I hope you find one you love someday! I definitely see the appeal of new, mathematically perfect cuts, but I actually prefer the imperfections of the older cuts much more. I hadn't seen this ring in years and years and had never actually looked at it up close before, so I was surprised and thrilled when I realized it was an older cut. The paperwork identified it as a European Cut (not Old European Cut, for some reason, I guess that's a different thing), but it seems really close to the transitional stone I have (to my super amateur eye) vs OECs I see online. I know there are no set cutoff points for each style of cut, so I guess this is just in-between the transitional and OEC eras.

I wouldn't want a bezel, but anything other than that I would be game to check out. I just took a few side view pictures to try to show a clear side view, but again, it's night time and they are terrible quality pictures from my phone. Also, it currently is a size or size and a half too big, so that kindof skews the picture of how it actually sits on my finger. I made it temporarily smaller with some acrylic while I decided what finger I wanted to wear it on, but I'll take it in to get sized this week.

I don't know what experienced people will think when they see the pictures, but to me it seems like there isn't much room between where the diamond ends and the gold begins where the prongs meet. However, underneath the part where the prongs meet (sorry, I don't know the terminology) is a strip of gold that connects with the rest of the band, and I wonder if that part is unnecessary. If the diamond could be lowered so that the prongs ended closer to my finger, then that could be a substantial difference, but I am really not sure.

Oh, I should mention that I love the yellow gold and the fact that it is a thin band, so I am not wanting to change it to be a more modern setting or anything like that. I just would like it to not be constantly banging into things, and also I feel slightly uncomfortable with how bling it is and think a lower setting would help. But, possibly the ring is as low as it can go and I just need to practice being less clumsy.

 

[marcy]

Your band and both solitaires are beautiful. I don't think you can go wrong wearing it as your ering, or as a RHR or even reset it in something else you'd enjoy more. Whatever strikes your fancy.

 

[MarionC]

I originally came to PS with the same dilemma after inheriting my Mom's diamonds. I thought they might be thought of as fake they were so big and I would never wear them, I would be embarrassed to wear them...etc. etc.
In time they didn't look huge and I even got myself a nice size OEC. I wear them everywhere - grocery store, etc. and stack them with various bands as a right hand ring style. Then sometimes they sit in the safe for a month while I go through a minimilist phase, but they are loved and enjoyed. Spend time on PS looking at the lovely stones, have the courage to wear & enjoy your ring and perhaps your feelings about the size of your beautiful diamond will change - I know mine did.

 

[cloreene]

Looks lovely together! You can always buy a cheap stacking ring or spacer and try it out to see if you like it with the spacer. I don't know if they will scratch or damage as they are right now but it wouldn't hurt to try it out a spacer.

 

[crazydoglady]

I originally came to PS with the same dilemma after inheriting my Mom's diamonds. I thought they might be thought of as fake they were so big and I would never wear them, I would be embarrassed to wear them...etc. etc.
In time they didn't look huge and I even got myself a nice size OEC. I wear them everywhere - grocery store, etc. and stack them with various bands as a right hand ring style. Then sometimes they sit in the safe for a month while I go through a minimilist phase, but they are loved and enjoyed. Spend time on PS looking at the lovely stones, have the courage to wear & enjoy your ring and perhaps your feelings about the size of your beautiful diamond will change - I know mine did.

I'm glad to get responses from people who have felt similarly! I hate to sound so ungrateful, especially on a website where I know people love diamonds. I just thought it would be the best place to get opinions, and it has been! I feel much better about it now. Well, in theory, in actuality I still try to hide my hand when wearing "the big ring" in public. haha! I'm sure I'll get over that soon, I just need to train myself to realize it's just jewelry and not some existential symbol. And I know nobody cares about it but me. I don't judge other people's jewelry, so I know they aren't likely to judge mine, but I've always been obsessed with not doing anything that seems like bragging or that highlights something special I have. My husband actually gets upset that I hide/misrepresent all the good things in my life to friends/social media. I know that having nice things isn't bragging, but it's just some weird way of thinking that's really ingrained in me. So, I guess I mostly wanted to figure this all out so I don't start blurting out crazy things like "I didn't buy this myself!! It's a family ring!!" to random people on the street.

On ring related news (as much as I'm sure you all looooved the psych analysis) I brought the ring in to be checked over since it's been in a safety deposit box for a long time and to have it sized. I was right, it is a transitional cut! I'm so thrilled about that because it matches my original e ring! I feel like it's kindof meant to be. When I get it back from the jeweler I'll have to see how it sits profile-wise to see if it's possible to set it lower.

 

[crazydoglady]

Looks lovely together! You can always buy a cheap stacking ring or spacer and try it out to see if you like it with the spacer. I don't know if they will scratch or damage as they are right now but it wouldn't hurt to try it out a spacer.

I would do almost anything to not have to wear a spacer, I feel weird about more than one ring on a finger, especially more than 2. It's being brought down 2 sizes right now, so I'll have a better idea of how they rub together when I get it back.

 

[crazydoglady]

One more thought. Your dilemma is EXACTLY what has concerned me about my larger diamond and leaving it to one of my daughters. The older one is already married and has a diamond ring a little over a carat. I can't see her wearing a much larger diamond on her right hand than her engagement ring. Yet she says she wouldn't want to wear it instead of her engagement ring. That has caused me to consider selling it and just sticking with diamonds that are a little smaller.

Sorry I didn't see this before. I originally said I wouldn't wear it as an engagement ring also, but that was because I loaded the issue with tons of emotional connotations and I was afraid my husband would be upset, even though he assured me he didn't care. So in actuality I really did want it, and I am very thankful to have it. So maybe you should talk to your daughter about it again before you sell it. I mean, if you can get a great price for it, that's great, but if your older daughter feels at all like I did, maybe she does actually want it but has conflicting emotions.

 

[telephone89]

The way the rings are shaped, I'd be surprised if the band isn't doing damage. There look to be 3 places it will rub - at both edges and the center/prongs. Tbh I'm not sure why you think a spacer is worse than causing permanent damage to the ring. The diamonds will eat away at the gold - it's not like platinum where you can reshape it like playdoh. That metal will be gone forever. A small spacer, 1mm or less will not be very noticeable, very inexpensive, and save you heartache down the road.

 

[crazydoglady]

The way the rings are shaped, I'd be surprised if the band isn't doing damage. There look to be 3 places it will rub - at both edges and the center/prongs. Tbh I'm not sure why you think a spacer is worse than causing permanent damage to the ring. The diamonds will eat away at the gold - it's not like platinum where you can reshape it like playdoh. That metal will be gone forever. A small spacer, 1mm or less will not be very noticeable, very inexpensive, and save you heartache down the road.

I only meant I wanted to avoid a spacer if it was a just A situation of being extra careful, not if it definitely seems like it will get damaged. In the picture the ring was two sizes too big, so I am interested to see the places they touch when it is sized. The jeweler sizing it said he doesn't think it will be damaged, which is why I said I wanted to avoid a spacer. Unfortunately, I think they will rub more when it's smaller. So I think it might be unavoidable. I'll get the ring back tomorrow and take a new picture. Thanks so much for your help! Gotta love someone who actually takes the time to mark a photo for you!