Swap-A-Roo = Not for You?

[iheartscience]

Wow. More like they bullied her into keeping a crap stone.

We bullied MF? Yes, we very meanly agreed to the trade she wanted. Then had the gall to agree to the credit she wanted after offering to pay round trip shipping for her to see the stone BEFORE starting the setting. And then, to add insult to injury, we forced a refund on her. Bullied, indeed...not bad for a couple of wussies...

I was replying specifically to another poster who accused Maplefemme of bullying you. I don't think a customer can bully a vendor when they hold all the cards and they have the customer's money. If anything, it'd be the other way around. THAT's what I was trying to say.

Tgal is spot on that some people will defend their favorite vendors at all costs. I have nothing against JbEG, I just think we need to be fair to Maple.

PS can function as a bully pulpit quite effectively, actually. A thread like this that begins with ambiguous facts about a large color discrepancy can be very damaging to a vendor like JbEG, who I imagine get a large amount of business from PS. JbEG pretty much had to offer the refund.

 

[iheartscience]

Wow. More like they bullied her into keeping a crap stone.

We bullied MF? Yes, we very meanly agreed to the trade she wanted. Then had the gall to agree to the credit she wanted after offering to pay round trip shipping for her to see the stone BEFORE starting the setting. And then, to add insult to injury, we forced a refund on her. Bullied, indeed...not bad for a couple of wussies...

I was replying specifically to another poster who accused Maplefemme of bullying you. I don't think a customer can bully a vendor when they hold all the cards and they have the customer's money. If anything, it'd be the other way around. THAT's what I was trying to say.

Tgal is spot on that some people will defend their favorite vendors at all costs. I have nothing against JbEG, I just think we need to be fair to Maple.

PS can function as a bully pulpit quite effectively, actually. A thread like this that begins with ambiguous facts about a large color discrepancy can be very damaging to a vendor like JbEG, who I imagine get a large amount of business from PS. JbEG pretty much had to offer the refund.

 

[junebug17]

Wow. More like they bullied her into keeping a crap stone.

We bullied MF? Yes, we very meanly agreed to the trade she wanted. Then had the gall to agree to the credit she wanted after offering to pay round trip shipping for her to see the stone BEFORE starting the setting. And then, to add insult to injury, we forced a refund on her. Bullied, indeed...not bad for a couple of wussies...

Erica, I was replying specifically to another poster who accused Maplefemme of bullying you. I don't think a customer can bully a vendor when they hold all the cards and they have the customer's money. If anything, it'd be the other way around. THAT's what I was trying to say.

Tgal is spot on that some people will defend their favorite vendors at all costs. I have nothing against JbEG, I just think we need to be fair to Maple.

How has MF been treated unfairly? I don't think it was fair to blindside JBEG by bringing up a transaction that was finalized several (I think) months ago. Grace and Erica have stated they thought this transaction was finished and I believe them. It was. MF didn't have to mention the vendor - it took me 10 seconds to find out by looking at her old posts. It can be argued it wasn't necessary or fair for MP to go into detail and express unhappiness about a past transaction that had been agreed to by both parties, and eventually reveal details that could potentially harm JBEG's reputation. Was blindsiding JBEG a fair thing to do?

I really don't recall any posts casting MF in a negative light, but there are definitely a few posts in this thread that infer JBEG was trying to pull a fast one and behaved in a shady, underhanded manner. IMO, they were attacked, and if they responded a little passionately and showed a little more emotion than is considered appropriate for a vendor, who could blame them?

MF received a refund - again, how was she treated unfairly?

 

[Kaleigh]

I think there are things to be learned from both sides. I am thinking this horse is dead... But keep on..

Nighty night....

 

[VRBeauty]

My comment about being leery of doing business with JBEG had nothing to do with the initial MF/JBEG postings (in which it seems both parties were reluctantly dragged into disclosing more about the transaction than they intended to) and everything to do with the update posted this morning. But I'm impressed that JBEG did not get defensive about that update, apologized, and then stayed out of this thread until now they were pretty much forced to respond to the charges that they "bullied" MF. None of us is perfect, vendors included. How we handle and learn from mistakes is probably more telling than the mistake itself. (And I hope we can respectfully disagree on whether that initial post was a mistake without rehashing it.)

I think c-g nailed it when she called this a lose-lose situation. I hope MF finds a stone for her setting that will make her heart sing, and that allows her to put all this behind her too.

 

[Laila619]

Wow. More like they bullied her into keeping a crap stone.

We bullied MF? Yes, we very meanly agreed to the trade she wanted. Then had the gall to agree to the credit she wanted after offering to pay round trip shipping for her to see the stone BEFORE starting the setting. And then, to add insult to injury, we forced a refund on her. Bullied, indeed...not bad for a couple of wussies...

I was replying specifically to another poster who accused Maplefemme of bullying you. I don't think a customer can bully a vendor when they hold all the cards and they have the customer's money. If anything, it'd be the other way around. THAT's what I was trying to say.

Tgal is spot on that some people will defend their favorite vendors at all costs. I have nothing against JbEG, I just think we need to be fair to Maple.

PS can function as a bully pulpit quite effectively, actually. A thread like this that begins with ambiguous facts about a large color discrepancy can be very damaging to a vendor like JbEG, who I imagine get a large amount of business from PS. JbEG pretty much had to offer the refund.

Okay, now that I do agree with, Thing. But for Lula to accuse Maple of doing that was wrong, because Maple didn't start the topic and she didn't even originally bring up JbEG specifically--posters simply guessed who the vendor was.

I hope both parties can move on with no bad feelings, and I hope Maple will still post on PS after this. I am sure she will find something she loves.

 

[kenny]

edit

 

[iheartscience]

Wow. More like they bullied her into keeping a crap stone.

We bullied MF? Yes, we very meanly agreed to the trade she wanted. Then had the gall to agree to the credit she wanted after offering to pay round trip shipping for her to see the stone BEFORE starting the setting. And then, to add insult to injury, we forced a refund on her. Bullied, indeed...not bad for a couple of wussies...

I was replying specifically to another poster who accused Maplefemme of bullying you. I don't think a customer can bully a vendor when they hold all the cards and they have the customer's money. If anything, it'd be the other way around. THAT's what I was trying to say.

Tgal is spot on that some people will defend their favorite vendors at all costs. I have nothing against JbEG, I just think we need to be fair to Maple.

PS can function as a bully pulpit quite effectively, actually. A thread like this that begins with ambiguous facts about a large color discrepancy can be very damaging to a vendor like JbEG, who I imagine get a large amount of business from PS. JbEG pretty much had to offer the refund.

Okay, now that I do agree with, Thing. But for Lula to accuse Maple of doing that was wrong, because Maple didn't start the topic and she didn't even originally bring up JbEG specifically--posters simply guessed who the vendor was.

I hope both parties can move on with no bad feelings, and I hope Maple will still post on PS after this. I am sure she will find something she loves.

It doesn't matter if MF started the topic-she aired all the details, albeit vaguely at first, which painted JbEG in a very unflattering light.

And hinting at issues with a vendor on PS is ridiculous. Any poster who wants to find out who the vendor is can just look at someone's past posts or read between the lines. If a poster doesn't want to name names, why post about it at all? I knew she was talking about JbEG by her second or third post in this thread.

The bottom line is JbEG didn't bully MF into keeping a "crap stone"-she NEVER asked for a refund until this thread and never even saw the stone to decide one way or the other.

 

[Laila619]

^ Kenny and Thing2, you do realize I wasn't the one who used the 'bullying' word in the first place, right? Nor did I agree it happened; I stated if anything it would be the other way around. Why is okay to accuse a customer of that? I don't see anyone upset on behalf of Maplefemme except Tgal and me. I already said 'crap stone' was a poor choice of words. Misrepresented stone is better.

Vendor loyalty is great, until it's a situation you're involved in. How would you feel if you were in this situation and now everyone was turning on you?

 

[iheartscience]

^ Kenny and Thing2, you do realize I wasn't the one who used the 'bullying' word in the first place, right? Nor did I agree it happened; I stated if anything it would be the other way around. Why is okay to accuse a customer of that? I don't see anyone upset on behalf of Maplefemme except Tgal and me. I already said 'crap stone' was a poor choice of words. Misrepresented stone is better.

Vendor loyalty is great, until it's a situation you're involved in. How would you feel if you were in this situation and now everyone was turning on you?

Ah, you must have added that in a subsequent edit. I don't usually re-read posts so I missed your edit.

I don't think anyone is attacking MF, myself included. Me not agreeing with how MF and her SO handled this situation doesn't mean I'm "turning" on her.

 

[canuk-gal]

This has gone from bad to worse.

If there was any added value--it is now all but lost.

Little *good* can be realized--no pie, no mixology, maybe, just, STOP?



Surely, democrats and republicans have "their limits".

 

[iheartscience]

This has gone from bad to worse.

If there was any added value--it is now all but lost.

Little *good* can be realized--no pie, no mixology, maybe, just, STOP?



Surely, democrats and republicans have "their limits".

I won't be bullied into silence!

But for you, canuk-gal, I'll shut it! (Plus I just started watching The Wire. )

 

[Kaleigh]

Before this closes, Can I send a shout out to my Sharon??

 

[decodelighted]

This is a frickin' SOAP OPERA. All around. I'm on the edge my seat for the eventual 1) lookie what the appraiser said, I scored! Post --- OR-- the 2) Hmmm - I don't want this rock either follow up.

Which brings us back to the original topic (finally) -- HOT POTATO FEVER strikes again.

 

[MissStepcut]

This is a frickin' SOAP OPERA. All around. I'm on the edge my seat for the eventual 1) lookie what the appraiser said, I scored! Post --- OR-- the 2) Hmmm - I don't want this rock either follow up.

Which brings us back to the original topic (finally) -- HOT POTATO FEVER strikes again.

Next installment: the person who bought the stone from JbEG after it was returned... sells it as a FLIP!

 

[kenny]

This is a frickin' SOAP OPERA. All around. I'm on the edge my seat for the eventual 1) lookie what the appraiser said, I scored! Post --- OR-- the 2) Hmmm - I don't want this rock either follow up.

Which brings us back to the original topic (finally) -- HOT POTATO FEVER strikes again.

Next installment: the person who bought the stone from JbEG after it was returned... sells it as a FLIP!

But then it gets chipped during setting and sent to BGD for a recut . . .

Then . . .

 

[decodelighted]

This is a frickin' SOAP OPERA. All around. I'm on the edge my seat for the eventual 1) lookie what the appraiser said, I scored! Post --- OR-- the 2) Hmmm - I don't want this rock either follow up.
Which brings us back to the original topic (finally) -- HOT POTATO FEVER strikes again.

Next installment: the person who bought the stone from JbEG after it was returned... sells it as a FLIP!

But first they will set it in an old yellow gold stock setting which will be dipped white!

 

[kenny]

This is a frickin' SOAP OPERA. All around. I'm on the edge my seat for the eventual 1) lookie what the appraiser said, I scored! Post --- OR-- the 2) Hmmm - I don't want this rock either follow up.
Which brings us back to the original topic (finally) -- HOT POTATO FEVER strikes again.

Next installment: the person who bought the stone from JbEG after it was returned... sells it as a FLIP!

But first they will set it in an old yellow gold stock setting which will be dipped white!

Then the wearer will have a reaction to the WG and the yellow will show through in 3 weeks.

 

[MissStepcut]

This is a frickin' SOAP OPERA. All around. I'm on the edge my seat for the eventual 1) lookie what the appraiser said, I scored! Post --- OR-- the 2) Hmmm - I don't want this rock either follow up.
Which brings us back to the original topic (finally) -- HOT POTATO FEVER strikes again.

Next installment: the person who bought the stone from JbEG after it was returned... sells it as a FLIP!

But first they will set it in an old yellow gold stock setting which will be dipped white!

But only after sending it to EGL-Isreal, who deems it a G/VVS1

 

[decodelighted]

This is a frickin' SOAP OPERA. All around. I'm on the edge my seat for the eventual 1) lookie what the appraiser said, I scored! Post --- OR-- the 2) Hmmm - I don't want this rock either follow up.
Which brings us back to the original topic (finally) -- HOT POTATO FEVER strikes again.

Next installment: the person who bought the stone from JbEG after it was returned... sells it as a FLIP!

But first they will set it in an old yellow gold stock setting which will be dipped white!

But only after sending it to EGL-Isreal, who deems it a G/VVS1

At which point a foreign party buys it in hopes of matching it for SUPER BLINGY GIGANTO STUDS.

 

[MissStepcut]

Kenny & Deco, <3... nothing like a little humor to cap off some drama!

 

[Lula]

This is a frickin' SOAP OPERA. All around. I'm on the edge my seat for the eventual 1) lookie what the appraiser said, I scored! Post --- OR-- the 2) Hmmm - I don't want this rock either follow up.
Which brings us back to the original topic (finally) -- HOT POTATO FEVER strikes again.

Next installment: the person who bought the stone from JbEG after it was returned... sells it as a FLIP!

But first they will set it in an old yellow gold stock setting which will be dipped white!

Deco, you are a

 

[CharmyPoo]

<removed - not playing>

 

[maplefemme]

This has all become quite unreal, it's taken a very tragic family emergency with my Father's health to pull me away from everything for a while and give me clear perspective on what's truly important.

I have admitted multiple times on here that I made mistakes in this transaction and have taken responsibility for them.
Yet I am sanctimoniously crapped on from great height by certain PS members and mocked, even when I try to take their advice and admit maybe I should not have been hasty and given the stone a chance, I just can't win, only considered more fickle and pathetic.
No, even in light of that, it's assumed I have done so because we don't want to/can't afford to pay more for a replacement stone, which isn't the case at all.
Do we have to divulge our entire financial situations here in order to avoid judgement and negative assumptions?
Seems so, so here goes...
No, $7,000 more was not an option for us AT THAT TIME, because my SO had just relocated to live with me permanently and his job transfer fell through, it was devastating and meant we had to be extremely financially cautious.
We calculated $4,000-$,5,000 would be the absolute maximum we should or could extend. To push to more would have been irresponsible until another F/T paramedic position could be acquired and those are few and far between here currently.
I would also like to clarify; we did not have a custom ring made until AFTER the stone came back from GIA, AFTER we had settled on keeping it. We kept it because given all of the options and restrictions we had, that was the best and most viable.
I was upset with Erica mentioning late in this thread that we should have just asked for a refund, because had we known she would break the contract and given us that option then we would have accepted BEFORE we went ahead and had an expensive (worth every cent and will not be selling) custom setting made around it.
We have already established this appears to be a miscommunication between JbEG and us.
As for my SO and his frustrations with this transaction, I don't blame him at all, I see what got him to that level.
We had terrible experiences with local vendors prior to finding PS. Everything from the manager of Spence telling us that Blue Nile gets all of their stones from **** shops and private individuals selling pre-owned, to one vendor stealing $4,500 of our deposit we were told was required to hold a stone. We had to take legal action to get it back and it was the judgement that they commited consumer fraud.
We had a few other bad experiences that just had us shaking our heads at the deception tactics used and sheer lies.
When the stone we bought from JbEG came back with such a discrepancy in color grades, well, my SO had just about had enough.
He recalled reading that, when surveyed, the general public trusts jewellers as much as they trust lawyers, in his mind he could now see why. To add insult, he couldn't really even afford to fix it given his situation at the time and the options we thought we had.
It doesn't make him a bad or controlling person, he was just frustrated with entire situation.
I sat yesterday, watching him advocate for my Father's well being, swabbing his mouth, questioning treatment, going over results with Doctors and pointing out specifics the were missing, supporting me when I needed him most...he's an amazing man.

We are very fortunate for many things, including him acquiring a new position a couple of weeks ago. The speculation by some PSers that we just don't want to spend more for a replacement stone is far from true and at some moments has been downright upsetting in the sentiment expressed.
It's very easy to get caught up in damnation from the comfortable anonymity the Internet provides. It takes a much bigger person, one of character, to offer genuine constructive support and criticism.
I can take criticism, absolutely, I have deserved some in this case, but there's been much I haven't deserved and neither has my SO, neither has Grace actually.

There are some PSers who have been fair to me and constructive, Circe, Diamondseeker, Maisie, Travelling Gal and few others who's names elude me at the moment, but thank you because you are what make PS so valuable as a resource and when people make mistakes you don't revel in pointing it out or judge them unfairly, you want to support and help.
I have had a wake up call as to what and who is important and I'm leaving PS taking away with me.

 

[risingsun]

I doubt I could have been as tactful as Erica was under the circumstances!

My reaction when I read that MF wanted the stone back, after airing her grievances out in public (to be fair to her, it was at the urging of PSers) and igniting an impromptu sh*t-flinging contest against Jbeg (again, PSers getting the bit between their teeth and dragging Jbeg's name into the mud, not MF's intent) was to make this face and exclaim "Are you #$@%ing SERIOUS?!"

I am a little astonished that she had the cajones to ask for the stone back after all this. Kudos to you, Erica (and Grace), for being so gracious in what has been a mind-boggling turn of events. My head is spinning, and I wasn't even involved!

I was thinking the same thing. Had I been in JbEG's position, I would have refused to do any further business with MF. I feel strongly that no good would have come of it. I did not read the post as gloating, but as tying up loose ends. This thread was started by MF and dragged JbEG through the mud, with the help of some PSers. They have the right to close this door. I would purchase from them in a heartbeat. They have presented themselves as caring, ethical people who did their best to resolve a difficult situation. Best wishes to the new buyer of that fabulous stone

 

[movie zombie]

PS can function as a bully pulpit quite effectively, actually. A thread like this that begins with ambiguous facts about a large color discrepancy can be very damaging to a vendor like JbEG, who I imagine get a large amount of business from PS. JbEG pretty much had to offer the refund.

effective to the point of bullying vendors....anyone remember the layaway fiasco with ed bristol? also a long time frame layaway ..... the pressure here on a vendor can be extreme. i'm with kenny re the anti vendor sentiment.... that this vendor offered to pay charges to send and return the stone prior to MF having a setting made but was not taken up on that offer, well, i don't know what else they could have done. perhaps not accept layaway? perhaps not accept long time frame layaways?

 

[yssie]

MF I'm really sorry you feel you need to leave PS because of this - and Erica and Grace, I hope you don't leave. I think this thread has been horribly unfair to both MF and JbEG - both made it clear early on that they weren't interested in drawing battle lines, and yet it *did* become a battle - the PS peanut gallery is pretty clearly to blame for that.

I'll add we're all Grown Ups now, and inflammatory accusations from said peanut gallery - on either side - merely look childish, and do little more than erode the credibility of the support base of precisely the side or stance that poster is taking

 

[risingsun]

^^^I made the above post before reading your last post. It was rude and I apologize for that; however, I do think that it is best for all concerned that you start your search for a new stone again. Please, this time, see the unset diamond first. I think had you done this, you would have known if you did or did not want to keep it, before having a custom setting made. The "letters" do not tell us everything we need to know about a diamond, especially an antique cut. I hope that you find another beautiful stone.

 

[Maisie]

Maplefemme if I have done anything to help you I'm glad. It's very sweet of you to mention me. I really hope you find the stone of your dreams and you stay on PS. It would be very sad if you left.


I hope your Dad gets well soon. You have a lot to deal with now. I pray things will improve soon.

 

[yssie]

Oh MF I left out the most important bit - I hope your dad's health gets better soon!!