Swap-A-Roo = Not for You?

[mrs jam]

MF, I wish I could give you a great big hug! You possess a true jewel already in your SO! I hope your dad gets better soon.

 

[kenny]

MF hope you don't leave.
The transaction is no big deal.

You've just been through a very public and embarrassing thing here.
I've posting things on PS that I wish I hadn't.
When I get egg on my face I just make an omelet.

Nobody holds anything against you, and if they do . . . well, skru em.
It is a groovy community a little like a family ,warts and all.
Just keep on posting
. . . or take a break and feel welcome to come back whenever you're ready.

 

[missy]

MF I'm really sorry you feel you need to leave PS because of this - and Erica and Grace, I hope you don't leave. I think this thread has been horribly unfair to both MF and JbEG - both made it clear early on that they weren't interested in drawing battle lines, and yet it *did* become a battle - the PS peanut gallery is pretty clearly to blame for that.

I'll add we're all Grown Ups now, and inflammatory accusations from said peanut gallery - on either side - merely look childish, and do little more than erode the credibility of the support base of precisely the side or stance that poster is taking

MF, I am so sorry about your dad and hope he gets better.

I am also so sorry about everything that transpired and how this thread went down. There was no villian here though some people felt it necessary to take sides (to the extreme IMO) and draw the proverbial line in the sand. You know that phrase High School Never Ends - well that has been clearly demonstrated here.

I do hope you will return as this thread reflects poorly not on you but on other individuals who behaved in an unbecoming manner. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.

Good luck with your dad, finding your new stone and your upcoming marriage. Big hugs and all the best.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

MF, I am terribly sorry to hear about your father's health problems! You are right that sometimes something has to shake us into the reality of what is important. I am sorry about this whole thread for everyone involved. I certainly hate to think of you leaving PS. I know we all want to see you get the ring of your dreams and be able to post pictures in Show Me the Bling! Please take a break and come back and post pictures for us!

 

[iugurl]

MF I'm really sorry you feel you need to leave PS because of this - and Erica and Grace, I hope you don't leave. I think this thread has been horribly unfair to both MF and JbEG - both made it clear early on that they weren't interested in drawing battle lines, and yet it *did* become a battle - the PS peanut gallery is pretty clearly to blame for that.

I'll add we're all Grown Ups now, and inflammatory accusations from said peanut gallery - on either side - merely look childish, and do little more than erode the credibility of the support base of precisely the side or stance that poster is taking

Apparently bashing a vendor is far less acceptable than a regular person. I don't understand those bashing MF for bashing (if she did...) a vendor. Hypocritical? I think so...

I am NOT going to go back and read all 16 pages, but the "bad" stuff was not said by MF was it? That they were "shady" or other negative adjectives. I recall her telling her story, and the fact the the stone was not what the vendor said it was. She was emotional and probably hurt/angry, but I don't recall any mudslinging on her part... Perhaps she did, but there are just far too many pages for me to go back and read through it. If she did, I apologize for my error.

Regardless, she is a poster who regardless of who's "side" you are on, was involved in a far from ideal transaction (the fact a stone was, what a whopping 7 grades off!?) Although the vendor denies that, "I will not accept accusations that we misrepresented the color by 7 grades. This is simply not true."

To everyone asking WHY didn't she ask for a refund, the vendors repeatedly said all layaway pieces are final. In the early pages ericad listed possible solutions and then said, "What we cannot offer her is a refund."

Yet, she later claims, she would have given her a refund all along had she just asked!????? If so, then why the bolded statement?

 

[Circe]

This has all become quite unreal, it's taken a very tragic family emergency with my Father's health to pull me away from everything for a while and give me clear perspective on what's truly important.

I have admitted multiple times on here that I made mistakes in this transaction and have taken responsibility for them.
Yet I am sanctimoniously crapped on from great height by certain PS members and mocked, even when I try to take their advice and admit maybe I should not have been hasty and given the stone a chance, I just can't win, only considered more fickle and pathetic.
No, even in light of that, it's assumed I have done so because we don't want to/can't afford to pay more for a replacement stone, which isn't the case at all.
Do we have to divulge our entire financial situations here in order to avoid judgement and negative assumptions?
Seems so, so here goes...
No, $7,000 more was not an option for us AT THAT TIME, because my SO had just relocated to live with me permanently and his job transfer fell through, it was devastating and meant we had to be extremely financially cautious.
We calculated $4,000-$,5,000 would be the absolute maximum we should or could extend. To push to more would have been irresponsible until another F/T paramedic position could be acquired and those are few and far between here currently.
I would also like to clarify; we did not have a custom ring made until AFTER the stone came back from GIA, AFTER we had settled on keeping it. We kept it because given all of the options and restrictions we had, that was the best and most viable.
I was upset with Erica mentioning late in this thread that we should have just asked for a refund, because had we known she would break the contract and given us that option then we would have accepted BEFORE we went ahead and had an expensive (worth every cent and will not be selling) custom setting made around it.
We have already established this appears to be a miscommunication between JbEG and us.
As for my SO and his frustrations with this transaction, I don't blame him at all, I see what got him to that level.
We had terrible experiences with local vendors prior to finding PS. Everything from the manager of Spence telling us that Blue Nile gets all of their stones from **** shops and private individuals selling pre-owned, to one vendor stealing $4,500 of our deposit we were told was required to hold a stone. We had to take legal action to get it back and it was the judgement that they commited consumer fraud.
We had a few other bad experiences that just had us shaking our heads at the deception tactics used and sheer lies.
When the stone we bought from JbEG came back with such a discrepancy in color grades, well, my SO had just about had enough.
He recalled reading that, when surveyed, the general public trusts jewellers as much as they trust lawyers, in his mind he could now see why. To add insult, he couldn't really even afford to fix it given his situation at the time and the options we thought we had.
It doesn't make him a bad or controlling person, he was just frustrated with entire situation.
I sat yesterday, watching him advocate for my Father's well being, swabbing his mouth, questioning treatment, going over results with Doctors and pointing out specifics the were missing, supporting me when I needed him most...he's an amazing man.

We are very fortunate for many things, including him acquiring a new position a couple of weeks ago. The speculation by some PSers that we just don't want to spend more for a replacement stone is far from true and at some moments has been downright upsetting in the sentiment expressed.
It's very easy to get caught up in damnation from the comfortable anonymity the Internet provides. It takes a much bigger person, one of character, to offer genuine constructive support and criticism.
I can take criticism, absolutely, I have deserved some in this case, but there's been much I haven't deserved and neither has my SO, neither has Grace actually.

There are some PSers who have been fair to me and constructive, Circe, Diamondseeker, Maisie, Travelling Gal and few others who's names elude me at the moment, but thank you because you are what make PS so valuable as a resource and when people make mistakes you don't revel in pointing it out or judge them unfairly, you want to support and help.
I have had a wake up call as to what and who is important and I'm leaving PS taking away with me.

Oh, honey.

A) First and foremost, I hope that your father recovers quickly and completely from whatever ails him - the sickness of a loved one is among the most horrifying experiences anybody can endure.

b) Your phrasing on the first underlining made me LOL: I think you hit it in one, and articulately at that; a lot of the posts criticizing you have a great air of sanctimony and whatever we'd term the opposite of there-but-for-the-grace-of-god-go-I. Schadenfreude? Whatever it is, it's repellent, and I'm sorry you got slapped with it. Swear to dog, PS isn't usually like this. In general, it's a wonderful, supportive, informative, and helpful place ... but something about the vendor vs. dynamic really brings the fangs out. It's polarizing, I think, both because it is a tight-knit community, and the vendors are a part of that. Doesn't excuse the occasional mobbing, though.

c) Your phrasing on the second underlining is as dignified and gracious as the rest of your posts on the topic (no GBCPS here!), which, frankly, is why I hope you'll change your mind and stay. Like Kenny said, we've all had our moments on here. If you love diamonds and jewelry despite that, hang around - nobody holds a grudge, and generally, once the inflammatory thread dies down, all is at peace and everybody goes back to offering good advice. I mean ... look! Two of the great political rivals are being amiable, right here in this thread! That's a sign of hope, no?

 

[maplefemme]

Thank you Circe, Kenny, and the others who just posted, thank you for your encouragement to stay...maybe later, when the timing is better, I'd be very appreciative of some PS advice on a stone.
Thank you especially for the well wishes for my Father, I really appreciate that most of all.

I'll leave for a while though now and tend to my family...

 

[yssie]

::HUGS:: MF!

 

[aljdewey]

MF, praying for your family and hoping for a speedy recovery. I hope we'll see you again when you can make it back.

 

[hlmr]

MF, praying for your family and hoping for a speedy recovery. I hope we'll see you again when you can make it back.

Ditto! Just finished reading this thread and wanted to say all the best to you and your family, MF!

(and also, tbh Al, it is so very refreshing to see the chainsaw back on PS )

 

[Kaleigh]

MF,
Sending lots of healing prayers to your Dad. Sending prayers of comfort and strength to you, your SO and your family..

 

[Skippy123]

Keeping your dad in my prayers and sending you a hug

 

[movie zombie]

I'll leave for a while though now and tend to my family...

i'm glad you are not leaving permanently!

i'm sure much pricescope dust is being sent for your father.

 

[Laila619]

Hugs, MF. This whole thread was a big mess. I hope you don't leave!

 

[CharmyPoo]

I hope your dad gets better and please come back when you are ready to purchase your next stone. We are here to help so the same mistakes and problems you keep experiencing with vendors won't happen. I do honestly want you to find a great stone for your setting.

 

[mrssalvo]

MF, I hope for the best concerning your father too and am sorry sorry to hear this news. I do hope you will come back when you are ready and know that we all really do wish you the best and hope you find your dream ring!!!

 

[Imdanny]

MF, I'm sorry about your father. I hope and pray he gets well soon.

 

[Ella]

On that note we feel it is in the best interest of both parties involved to close the thread and wish our best to MF's family.