She didn''t like the ring. Would you be offended?

[mausketeer]

OMG this thread is making me CRAZY! A few people on here have pointed this out already but I think it needs to be said AGAIN: we do not KNOW these people. We are not privvy to the subtle and intricate in''s and out''s of their ENTIRE relationship. We have been exposed to a few sentences worth of dialogue that have been paraphrased by ONE of the people in the relationship describing HIS take on his fiancés reaction to the ring and a bit of background about what he says he said about it and what he says she said about it. That''s it! People are jumping in with reactions to her character, telling him to "run run far away as fast as you can", "IF you continue with the engagement" etc etc. It''s ridiculous! How can you SAY something like that to someone you have NEVER met based on such scant information as this? We don''t know what this man is like EITHER save what he has told us on here. I am absolutely astounded. I bet I could start two threads on here telling the exact SAME story (not this one I mean but another one) and tell them both from two different viewpoints and get two different reactions (most people siding with the writer of each thread). Keep that in mind........

 

[bowral1]

Date: 5/7/2009 4:51:25 PM
Author: mausketeer
OMG this thread is making me CRAZY! A few people on here have pointed this out already but I think it needs to be said AGAIN: we do not KNOW these people. We are not privvy to the subtle and intricate in''s and out''s of their ENTIRE relationship. We have been exposed to a few sentences worth of dialogue that have been paraphrased by ONE of the people in the relationship describing HIS take on his fiancés reaction to the ring and a bit of background about what he says he said about it and what he says she said about it. That''s it! People are jumping in with reactions to her character, telling him to ''run run far away as fast as you can'', ''IF you continue with the engagement'' etc etc. It''s ridiculous! How can you SAY something like that to someone you have NEVER met based on such scant information as this? We don''t know what this man is like EITHER save what he has told us on here. I am absolutely astounded. I bet I could start two threads on here telling the exact SAME story (not this one I mean but another one) and tell them both from two different viewpoints and get two different reactions (most people siding with the writer of each thread). Keep that in mind........

I agree it’s not right, it was me who even said "we should not judge as we are not the people in the relationship"

But reading Cdog’s comments on what the FI is saying about the ring do not sound good . . . . . No judgment!

 

[Rockit]

When I read the posts at the beginning of this thread (way, WAY back there) I was struck by the OP''s disagreement with his GF. By the OP''s own admission, their words sounded quite harsh, vitriolic and most disrespectful (on both their parts). Certainly, not the way to begin a lifetime of "love and happiness" together.

On his part, he clearly disregarded her wish for a Tiffany ring and he was resentful when his GF expressed disappointment. On her part, she clearly disregarded all the thought, effort and research the OP did trying to purchase her a special ring. She didn''t seem to have any sympathy for his feelings at all. To the contrary, it appears that she wanted make him feel bad about his choice.

I wondered if the anti-expectation ring was symbolic of deeper problems with the couple''s relationship. However, I didn''t post because with limited facts (and some mighty fine PS responses already logged)I feared I might have been too critical and sensitive about a relationship that I know nothing about...

So, for the time, I went with the belief that the problem was a "surface" one dealing specifically with the couple''s miscommunication and unrealistic expectations regarding the ring. The biggest problem, at least on the surface, was the fact that he OP had purchased a ring that was supposed to be equal-to or better-than his GF''s quintessential Tiffany choice. And, simply by the fact that it was an obvious SI2, his choice clearly was not. Also, I wondered if all along, that ANY ring other than one from Tiffany was – IN HER MIND – a compromise and a step-down from her dream Tiffany ring. In other words, in the end, no matter what, really and truly, nothing but a Tiffany ring would do.

Fast forward to more recent posts... it appears that the disappointed and angry GF has escalated her desires regarding her ring. Now, it not only has to be cleaner than the anti-expectation ring, but, it has to be BIGGER as well. ACK! Sadly, I must agree at this point that the GF''s lack of compromise and complete disregard for ANYTHING the OP has chosen or planned, not to mention his wallet, coupled with what I perceive to be her ungracious and insolent attitude, indicates that the ring is definitely more important to the GF than her BF and their relationship. I do hope that I am wrong.

Yes, I think the OP made some big mistakes early on, as well-intentioned as he may have been, and he may be just as ungracious and self-centered as his GF appears to be. I don''t know. It doesn''t matter.

For what it is worth, I once accepted an ER that I didn''t care for. At all. Everything about it was wrong. I remember being surprised and disappointed that my BF didn''t know me better. I saw the ring as a symbol, and I wanted the ring to represent the essence of ME as well as my BF. Instead, the ring was all HIM. It just wasn''t right. Admittedly, I put way too much emphasis on the ring and the idea of becoming engaged. However, it was still wrong for me. So, after accepting the proposal, I finally started thinking. About everything. Especially because I felt quite unsettled about it all and I wasn''t comfortable looking down at the ring on my left hand. Finally, although I''d never admitted it before, I realized that I was not head-over heels in love. I had to recognize that my desire to become engaged, and all the expectations of glam and excitement that comes with it, had at some point overshadowed my true feelings for my BF. The mismatched ring was the key to figuring it all out. In the end, our engagement lasted only a few months.

To the OP: I''m terribly sorry that your feelings were hurt and that you''ve been disappointed. This entire experience sounds awful. And, I commend you for all the research you put into your ring, posting here, and continuing to update us. At this point, I''m sure it is not easy! Hopefully, you are a better man from all this with a better understanding of both yourself and your GF. And, I do hope that the two of you, as a couple, will take the time to untangle yourselves from the ridiculousness surrounding this ring and examine the bigger issues of your relationship. If you are angry, upset and disrespecting each other over something like this, A HAPPY OCCASION, I can''t imagine how your relationship will survive when something REALLY goes wrong in life. Again, I''m sorry for both of you and I hope this story will have a happy ending filled with love, respect, and compromise from BOTH sides. (Sorry for the abysmally long post everyone).

 

[decodelighted]

Interesting turn of events. I think there''s a difference between having high (perhaps unrealistic) expectations ... and being a spoiled brat. The difference is in the *adjustment* of expectations when confronted with *reality*. This is math, not magic. It may come down to the entirely unromantic, entirely practical convo that goes something like this:

My budget is X
You can get 100% trade-in value & work with the vendor I chose to get a new stone of equal value
Or you can spend the 75% of the stone price (refund/buy back) at Tiffany''s or anywhere else you choose.
Or you can contribute to the budget & get whatever you want with the resulting combined amount.
Those are the options on the table. Pick one.

How she deals with the *reality* of the situation will tell you a lot about her, her maturity & her ability to compromise.

Without mutual respect and ability to compromise ... marriage isn''t going to be pleasant ... for either of you!

 

[Vancity]

After reading through 9 pages of varying opinions on this matter, all I keep wondering is....
What in the h*ll does the acronym "OP" stand for???

(I''ve checked - it''s not listed in the PS FAQ section, and I got nothin''..hehe

)

~Allyson

 

[Rockit]

Oh dear!!! How about: Original Post[er].

 

[ms.halo]

^^ OP= original poster

I concur with some of the other posters--we don''t have enough information to post relationship advice here. I do think, though, that it''s reasonable for the fiance to want a eye-clean stone. If all of us were 100% happy with the size, clarity, cut and color of our original erings, none of us would upgrade. I think it''s unfair for us to judge someone we haven''t heard from for wanting a ring she''ll be happy wearing every day. However, if we are getting her actual responses from the OP (as opposed to his wounded-heart interpretations) Miss Manners my find fault with her tactics...

 

[Gypsy]

Rockit, that was a great post !!

Deco... your suggestion is so, parental. You know, like dealing with a difficult teenager? I am grateful I have never behaved in a manner the required my husband to treat me that way. I''m not saying it''s not accurate or good advice, just... sad that it seems to be apt.

 

[Vancity]

*Slaps forehead and says DUH!*

Thx for the clarification, Rockit!

Much appreciated

 

[Harriet]

Cdog,
I''m sorry about what happened. Even if you did ''flub'' on clarity, you put a lot of effort into your choice. A woman should be so lucky! Some women do beat around the bush as to what they want (I''m one of them). Maybe your fiancee is disappointed that you didn''t pick up her hints, if any, about Tiffany.

All,
I had no idea that Asians have a preoccupation with clarity. As for brand, that''s not unique to Asians. May we please stop the cultural stereotyping?

 

[LostSapphire]

Date: 5/7/2009 6:56:33 PM
Author: Harriet
Cdog,
I''m sorry about what happened. Even if you did ''flub'' on clarity, you put a lot of effort into your choice. A woman should be so lucky! Some women do beat around the bush as to what they want (I''m one of them). Maybe your fiancee is disappointed that you didn''t pick up her hints, if any, about Tiffany.

All,
I had no idea that Asians have a preoccupation with clarity. As for brand, that''s not unique to Asians. May we please stop the cultural stereotyping?

Ditto Point #1 and Point #2.

LS

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 5/7/2009 6:11:40 PM
Author: Rockit
Fast forward to more recent posts... it appears that the disappointed and angry GF has escalated her desires regarding her ring. Now, it not only has to be cleaner than the anti-expectation ring, but, it has to be BIGGER as well. ACK! Sadly, I must agree at this point that the GF''s lack of compromise and complete disregard for ANYTHING the OP has chosen or planned, not to mention his wallet, coupled with what I perceive to be her ungracious and insolent attitude, indicates that the ring is definitely more important to the GF than her BF and their relationship. I do hope that I am wrong.


Yes, I think the OP made some big mistakes early on, as well-intentioned as he may have been, and he may be just as ungracious and self-centered as his GF appears to be. I don''t know. It doesn''t matter.


For what it is worth, I once accepted an ER that I didn''t care for. At all. Everything about it was wrong. I remember being surprised and disappointed that my BF didn''t know me better. I saw the ring as a symbol, and I wanted the ring to represent the essence of ME as well as my BF. Instead, the ring was all HIM. It just wasn''t right. Admittedly, I put way too much emphasis on the ring and the idea of becoming engaged. However, it was still wrong for me. So, after accepting the proposal, I finally started thinking. About everything. Especially because I felt quite unsettled about it all and I wasn''t comfortable looking down at the ring on my left hand. Finally, although I''d never admitted it before, I realized that I was not head-over heels in love. I had to recognize that my desire to become engaged, and all the expectations of glam and excitement that comes with it, had at some point overshadowed my true feelings for my BF. The mismatched ring was the key to figuring it all out. In the end, our engagement lasted only a few months.

Thank you for telling your story. The ring, as nice as it is, is not an end in itself-- it is a symbol- you make a good point. I''m sorry it didn''t work out for you in that case, but glad that you figured it out that it wasn''t going to. I wasn''t bored with your post at all. I thought it was very interesting. And thank you for the updates to this thread, which I haven''t had time to follow since my last post. I''ll go back and look for the OP''s updates. Thank you again.

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 5/7/2009 11:47:39 AM
Author: QueenMum

Date: 5/7/2009 8:20:41 AM

Author: cdogstu99

And i also showed her this thread (which might have been a mistake); she then mentioned that diamond was too small and that she wants a VS1 (because of what she read here likely).

Too small?

Unless she is 18 and you are 90, this reflects a blatant lack of education.

If you''re a billionaire, I understand her too.

Stephan, you''re hilarious! LOL!

 

[upgrade]

If you go back and read the OP's other threads, it looks to me like his gf had her heart set on VS2 H/I Tiffany rings in the 1.25 range. I'm almost sure that my theory in my other post is correct- she wanted 1.25 VS H/I Tiffany, he said he could do better for the money elsewhere so she thought she would be getting a much bigger VS H/I diamond. What she got was a fractionally larger diamond (1.35) of lower quality. She was dissapointed. Honestly, I would have been too.

Before everyone attacks her character, I'd take a moment to think this through from her perspective. The way she handled it may not have been great, but when emotions are involved, people are often not on their best behaviour. She got really excited at the possibility of an even BIGGER diamond of equal quality and she got a diamond that was probably not noticably larger without a side by side comparison, of lesser quality.

I think this is a classic case of Mars and Venus... Neither party articulated their thoughts very well to the other and now they're in this mess and not sure how to find their way out of it. I think a very honest conversation could go a long way to clearing things up.

And if you read the other posts, she *really* wanted a Tiffany and probably didn't want to tell him that her heart was really set on one because he brought up money and she didn't want to sound greedy.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/7/2009 7:28:24 PM
Author: upgrade

And if you read the other posts, she *really* wanted a Tiffany and probably didn''t want to tell him that her heart was really set on one because he brought up money and she didn''t want to sound greedy.

not greedy ??

by saying that a 1.25 ct was too small.

 

[risingsun]

Many moons ago, we had a poster whose cousin [?] had saved up for a significant upgrade. I think they were spending in the mid 30''s, IIRC. They wanted to shop at HW, Cartier, Graffs and Tiffs. I''m not entirely sure of all of the stores. As loyal PSers we did everything in our power to convince them to go to GOG or ERD and get a great stone at a better price. I don''t know how it ended with their upgrade. I do remember coming away from that thread thinking that we did them no favors. They wanted the ring buying experience, with the bells and whistles and champagne. IMO, there is nothing wrong with that, if the couple is in agreement. Sometimes you just want to go for it. I think there was a major misunderstanding from the beginning of the OP''s search for the diamond. Hopefully, they can do now what they didn''t do then--truly communicate. The FF needs to understand the budget and the tradeoffs that this will require. The OP needs to not make promises he cannot keep. I seems that the FF is not very educated about diamonds. An H or I VS2 from Tiff''s would probably suit her very nicely. I think she can come to understand that the size of the diamond will have to fit the size of the budget. I would suggest that the OP return the ring to GOG, let OP and FF calm down, and have an honest discussion about expectations and budget. Next, they could work together to get her the ring. If, after all of this, she remains unwilling to make some accomodations, at that point they may have other issues to discuss. None of us know this couple. We don''t know that he is a saint or that she is an awful, terrible person

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 5/7/2009 8:20:41 AM
Author: cdogstu99

Date: 5/7/2009 7:48:29 AM

Author: doodle

Sharon, I see your point, but my commenting on how that style of communication bothered me wasn't directed specifically at the OP's FI (although I did use their situation as an example, and you're right that I shouldn't assume complete truth of the OP's version as it is one-sided, so assuming that she wasn't direct enough could be unfair!). My intent was to comment in general based on the remarks made by some about understanding women speak. Personally, I speak English and really bad Spanish; my gender isn't a language, and it doesn't make me entitled to use it as an excuse for dropping hints rather than stating what I want. My point was that it's no surprise that there are so often issues of communication between men and women in general when many women expect men to read between the lines rather than go on what they actually said. I had no intention of sounding judgmental of the OP's FI, and if it sounded like I was, I apologize to the OP. I wasn't a fly on the wall, so I can't nor do I pretend to make any judgments about cdog OR his FI.



So cdog, what's up with you guys? Status update?

I showed her this: http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/5250.


And i also showed her this thread (which might have been a mistake); she then mentioned that diamond was too small and that she wants a VS1 (because of what she read here likely).

And where is that money supposed to come from? Is it just magically supposed to appear? I'm sorry but from what you're telling us it sounds like you shouldn't be talking to us at this point but that you and she should sit down together and have a serious discussion about what is possible and reasonable.

 

[Sharon101]

Date: 5/7/2009 7:38:47 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/7/2009 7:28:24 PM
Author: upgrade

And if you read the other posts, she *really* wanted a Tiffany and probably didn''t want to tell him that her heart was really set on one because he brought up money and she didn''t want to sound greedy.

not greedy ??

by saying that a 1.25 ct was too small.

Its all relative. For some people having .75 ct is being greedy and for others its a good size for a sidestone. There are many gals here who sport er just under 2 cts and I wouldnt exactly label them as greedy! Lucky maybe but not necessarily greedy.

And on another topic.....its wrong to promice something and then not deliver. If my dh promices me better than T.....well I would pretty much be expecting HW for cying out loud!!! j/k.....but honestly, if you are going to promice better than Tiffany, thats really getting someones expectations way up.

 

[JSM]

Date: 5/7/2009 7:28:24 PM
Author: upgrade
If you go back and read the OP''s other threads, it looks to me like his gf had her heart set on VS2 H/I Tiffany rings in the 1.25 range. I''m almost sure that my theory in my other post is correct- she wanted 1.25 VS H/I Tiffany, he said he could do better for the money elsewhere so she thought she would be getting a much bigger VS H/I diamond. What she got was a fractionally larger diamond (1.35) of lower quality. She was dissapointed. Honestly, I would have been too.

Unfortunately a 1.25 ct tiffany would probably be a lot higher than his budget, right?

I feel very bad for the OP.

 

[Rockit]

Upgrade, I agree with your perspective, especially your last line. And, just so you and others know, I would never criticize anyone for being disappointed. I don't believe we can control our feelings, and whether they are justified or unjustified is immaterial. However, we CAN control how we react to our feelings and how we react to people around us. From what the OP has posted – and, of course, the story we know is all told from his point of view, so that's all I have to go on – I'm not sure that either party has "reacted" in a careful, kind, or respectful manner, especially initially. Moreover, for me, "the way she handled" her feelings of disappointment (reportedly), especially for an extended time that goes beyond the initial moments of her shock and disappointment, is PRECISELY a true indication of her character – the mental and moral qualities of her nature – as well as an indication of her true sentiments.

However, the point of several PSers, regarding a wanton attack on the character of a complete stranger – or anyone for that matter – is well taken. And, again, I agree; ideally, we should be careful to limit our words to observations, and steer away from making comments based upon our own mental and moral preferences. It is just that in THIS case, the entire premise of the thread is about our opinions concerning someone's actions. The OP has asked, point blank, "WOULD YOU BE OFFENDED?" and he describes a conflict between two people. Certainly, the heart of the matter involves some interpretation on our parts regarding the couple's reported words and actions. Am I off base here?

 

[cara]

Date: 5/7/2009 6:41:23 PM
Author: ms.halo
^^ OP= original poster
I concur with some of the other posters--we don't have enough information to post relationship advice here. I do think, though, that it's reasonable for the fiance to want a eye-clean stone. If all of us were 100% happy with the size, clarity, cut and color of our original erings, none of us would upgrade. I think it's unfair for us to judge someone we haven't heard from for wanting a ring she'll be happy wearing every day. However, if we are getting her actual responses from the OP (as opposed to his wounded-heart interpretations) Miss Manners my find fault with her tactics...

The Miss Manners quotation on engagement rings that I recall is something about the symbolism exceding the monetary value such that:

An engagement ring should be treasured in excess of its value and thrown back in spite of its value, as the situation warrants.

 

[blueroses]

Date: 5/7/2009 6:24:37 PM
Author: decodelighted
Interesting turn of events. I think there's a difference between having high (perhaps unrealistic) expectations ... and being a spoiled brat. The difference is in the *adjustment* of expectations when confronted with *reality*. This is math, not magic. It may come down to the entirely unromantic, entirely practical convo that goes something like this:

My budget is X
You can get 100% trade-in value & work with the vendor I chose to get a new stone of equal value
Or you can spend the 75% of the stone price (refund/buy back) at Tiffany's or anywhere else you choose.
Or you can contribute to the budget & get whatever you want with the resulting combined amount.
Those are the options on the table. Pick one.

Deco (I've missed you!), you remain a gentlewoman and a scholar.

The thing is--this is all about communication, period. There were imperfect reactions on the parts of both OP and FI, and he's acknowledged that. I understand BOTH of their bad feelings about this now.
The above three options, perhaps presented less "parentally" (tm Gypsy) and really talked out between them, are the way to go. Forget store fronts and voicemail messages and bright sparkly lights and blue boxes--it doesn't matter. She needs to see IN HAND what might be possible replacement stones. Maybe the "too small" option wouldn't bother her on the hand--she can't assume that it WILL, just like OP couldn't assume that the inclusion WOULDN'T.

GOOD LUCK, and keep us posted. There can totally be a happy ending here--just keep each other in the loop.


(ETA: Unless she really, truly, 1,000% percent despite what she said to her FI ACTUALLY wants T&Co. Then just get the damn ring from them. But it sounds like that isn't the case.)

 

[phildominator]

Wow, as a sidebar, I didn't think that the reputation of Asian women was at stake here, either.

I sincerely hope some of the posters here aren't rationalizing that the FI's behavior/demands is because she's Asian as if any and all Asians have this demand for high clarity/color and Tiffany name.

To a degree, it sounds like some posters are rationalizing "wants a bigger ring with the Tiffany brand name" to "oh, yup, makes sense...she's Asian." I hope that's not the case.

I would venture to guess that there are people of every color, race and ethnicity that exhibit the same behavior/demands.

Not all Asians' personalities are dictated by Asian cultural values. Some are as American as apple pie.

The FI may just like Tiffany's, Asian or not.

Overall, if we don't have enough information to judge the OP/FI's's relationship, likewise, we don't have enough information to judge her "Asian-ness".

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 5/7/2009 7:28:24 PM
Author: upgrade
If you go back and read the OP''s other threads, it looks to me like his gf had her heart set on VS2 H/I Tiffany rings in the 1.25 range. I''m almost sure that my theory in my other post is correct- she wanted 1.25 VS H/I Tiffany, he said he could do better for the money elsewhere so she thought she would be getting a much bigger VS H/I diamond. What she got was a fractionally larger diamond (1.35) of lower quality. She was dissapointed. Honestly, I would have been too.


Before everyone attacks her character, I''d take a moment to think this through from her perspective. The way she handled it may not have been great, but when emotions are involved, people are often not on their best behaviour. She got really excited at the possibility of an even BIGGER diamond of equal quality and she got a diamond that was probably not noticably larger without a side by side comparison, of lesser quality.


I think this is a classic case of Mars and Venus... Neither party articulated their thoughts very well to the other and now they''re in this mess and not sure how to find their way out of it. I think a very honest conversation could go a long way to clearing things up.


And if you read the other posts, she *really* wanted a Tiffany and probably didn''t want to tell him that her heart was really set on one because he brought up money and she didn''t want to sound greedy.

I think you''re spot on, Upgrade.

 

[CPF0RY0U]

Date: 5/6/2009 4:07:17 PM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 5/6/2009 4:00:18 PM

Author: Ellen

Thats another lovely diamond Jon has suggested but I would consider seeing if he has anything of VS clarity or higher in case she does prefer higher clarity and might see something in this diamond. Or go together as John suggested and let her help choose.

I agree.


Will this work pricewise? I don''t know how much your stone was. Much safer!


http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/5249/

Thats a great option!

NO! You''re forgot that she''s Asian. Like someone else said earlier, Asians will not accept anything other then DEF, and maybe, big maybe, a G. Before anyone thinks anything bad about me, I''m Asian myself, and have an Asian gf.

Date: 5/6/2009 4:41:52 PM
Author: LAJennifer
I guess I''m #5. I would get her this one: http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/5733/

That won''t work either. If I know his girl well enough from going through all 8 pages so far, I''m willing to bet he has one of those Asian girls who won''t accept anything lower than a 1.0 carat. You could buy a 0.98 carat, and you can''t tell, but just the face that it''s 0.98 = BIG NO NO.

Date: 5/7/2009 7:48:29 AM

Author: doodle

I showed her this: http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/5250.

And i also showed her this thread (which might have been a mistake); she then mentioned that diamond was too small and that she wants a VS1 (because of what she read here likely).

OUCH. BIG OUCH! You probably spend around $10K. How about you get $7.5K back, give her $7.5K to go buy herself a ring. I doubt she can do any better.

Date: 5/7/2009 7:28:24 PM
Author: upgrade
If you go back and read the OP''s other threads, it looks to me like his gf had her heart set on VS2 H/I Tiffany rings in the 1.25 range. I''m almost sure that my theory in my other post is correct- she wanted 1.25 VS H/I Tiffany, he said he could do better for the money elsewhere so she thought she would be getting a much bigger VS H/I diamond. What she got was a fractionally larger diamond (1.35) of lower quality. She was dissapointed. Honestly, I would have been too.


Before everyone attacks her character, I''d take a moment to think this through from her perspective. The way she handled it may not have been great, but when emotions are involved, people are often not on their best behaviour. She got really excited at the possibility of an even BIGGER diamond of equal quality and she got a diamond that was probably not noticably larger without a side by side comparison, of lesser quality.

If she wanted a 1.25 range, she wouldn''t have said that the 1.26 F SI from GoG was too small.
From the sounds of it, she would likely be happy with a 1.35 F VS2 or greater from Tiffany''s, which will likely be double the amount of your budget.

Thinking from her perspective, she''s an Asian woman. Most Asian woman (traditionally) have a man who takes care of them. Yes, we''re in the modern ages, but there is still a traditional sense in the roots, and to have good status is to have a trophy husband. A doctor? A lawyer? A big Tiffany ring! If she really LOVES you, and I mean TRULY LOVES YOU, then something has got to give. You have a certain budget to work with, and it should stay within those budget.

Do you even own a home? Just think, you save money now, it''s a great time to buy a home for you two and YOUR NEW FAMILY. What''s more important....the ring or the future? If future is more important, find something within your budget, and maybe down the line, upgrade.

Otherwise, if I were you, take the ring back, return it, buy a home, then revisit this later, because at this point, it appears that a home is a better investment than your girlfriend.

 

[TravelingGal]

Gals for goodness sake, lighten up. I was saying that POSSIBLY it might be an asian thing with regards to clarity. It''s not like all asians are shallow or into those things. There are exceptions to every rule, and in this case there might be a ton of exceptions. I am as American as apple pie, as someone mentioned. But MANY of my friends, even while Americanized pay attention to clarity. I am probably the only one of my friends with a SI anything.

As for into brand names, I am sure there plenty of cultures who are. However go into the LV store in Paris and you''ll see what I mean.

 

[rickster123]

My opinion.......hmmm, I got nothing........

 

[b.anna]

cdog, you showed her an SI1 diamond, have you searched for VS2 or better diamonds within your budget? sounds like she isn''t going to settle for an SI1 of any kind, especially after what she saw in the original diamond. if you have a budget, i''d emphasize that HEAVILY and make that the negotiating point especially since it seems like you are trying your best to make her happy (which is great). and find an VS or up within your budget and show it to her? sounds like she is being more difficult than seems respectable. it''s not worth it to stretch your budget to the point where you can''t afford what she wants.

i feel so terrible you''ve hit a rough patch with this. it certainly doesn''t seem normal to me...

 

[Harriet]

Date: 5/7/2009 9:44:42 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Gals for goodness sake, lighten up. I was saying that POSSIBLY it might be an asian thing with regards to clarity. It''s not like all asians are shallow or into those things. There are exceptions to every rule, and in this case there might be a ton of exceptions. I am as American as apple pie, as someone mentioned. But MANY of my friends, even while Americanized pay attention to clarity. I am probably the only one of my friends with a SI anything.

As for into brand names, I am sure there plenty of cultures who are. However go into the LV store in Paris and you''ll see what I mean.

I''ll join you -- I have two SIs.

 

[grapegravity]

Date: 5/7/2009 11:55:19 PM
Author: Harriet

Date: 5/7/2009 9:44:42 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Gals for goodness sake, lighten up. I was saying that POSSIBLY it might be an asian thing with regards to clarity. It''s not like all asians are shallow or into those things. There are exceptions to every rule, and in this case there might be a ton of exceptions. I am as American as apple pie, as someone mentioned. But MANY of my friends, even while Americanized pay attention to clarity. I am probably the only one of my friends with a SI anything.


As for into brand names, I am sure there plenty of cultures who are. However go into the LV store in Paris and you''ll see what I mean.

I''ll join you -- I have two SIs.

I had one SI and now own another SI... And I''m Asian...