She didn''t like the ring. Would you be offended?

[sazza]

Now I''m all curious how it''s all working out!

 

[CharmyPoo]

Date: 5/7/2009 6:56:33 PM
Author: Harriet

All,
I had no idea that Asians have a preoccupation with clarity. As for brand, that''s not unique to Asians. May we please stop the cultural stereotyping?

Couldn''t agree more. Pretty sick of the cultural stereo typing.

 

[Phoenix]

Date: 5/8/2009 12:03:04 AM
Author: grapegravity

Date: 5/7/2009 11:55:19 PM
Author: Harriet

Date: 5/7/2009 9:44:42 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Gals for goodness sake, lighten up. I was saying that POSSIBLY it might be an asian thing with regards to clarity. It''s not like all asians are shallow or into those things. There are exceptions to every rule, and in this case there might be a ton of exceptions. I am as American as apple pie, as someone mentioned. But MANY of my friends, even while Americanized pay attention to clarity. I am probably the only one of my friends with a SI anything.


As for into brand names, I am sure there plenty of cultures who are. However go into the LV store in Paris and you''ll see what I mean.

I''ll join you -- I have two SIs.

I had one SI and now own another SI... And I''m Asian...

I have one Si2, two I1''s [GASP]!!

Colour wise, I have an H, two K''s / J''s.

 

[soycoffee]

I''ve been a little surprised with some of the cultural stereotyping (such as: "sounds like a lot of the Asian girls I''ve dated!" or whatever).

But, on the same note, I''ve heard from many Asian people that (please excuse my un-refined version of this...)the thing with clarity is that the stone symbolizes your love, and if it has inclusions, it is a bad sign. Seeing as many cultures place a large weight on symbolism and tradition, this makes sense, and it is definitely respectable if that how things are done within those cultures!

However, beyond that, and any other cultural traditions, I really don''t think it''s right to keep stereotyping Asians as shallow or materialistic, or whatever it is that has been insinuated.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/7/2009 9:44:05 PM
Author: CPF0RY0U

NO! You''re forgot that she''s Asian. Like someone else said earlier, Asians will not accept anything other then DEF, and maybe, big maybe, a G. Before anyone thinks anything bad about me, I''m Asian myself, and have an Asian gf.

when my daughters get engaged i''ll make sure they know the Asian E-ring rules.

 

[coatimundi_org]

Date: 5/7/2009 9:44:42 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Gals for goodness sake, lighten up. I was saying that POSSIBLY it might be an asian thing with regards to clarity. It''s not like all asians are shallow or into those things. There are exceptions to every rule, and in this case there might be a ton of exceptions. I am as American as apple pie, as someone mentioned. But MANY of my friends, even while Americanized pay attention to clarity. I am probably the only one of my friends with a SI anything.


As for into brand names, I am sure there plenty of cultures who are. However go into the LV store in Paris and you''ll see what I mean.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/8/2009 12:17:03 AM
Author: Phoenix

I have one Si2, two I1''s [GASP]!!

Colour wise, I have an H, two K''s / J''s.

buttt...most Asians don''t wear boulders on their fingers and ears.

 

[VRBeauty]

Cdog, I''m so sorry you and your sweetie have hit this rough patch. I hope the end result is better communications between the two of you, and an e-ring that meets both of your needs. Mostly, I hope it all works out for the best for both of you.

 

[kama_s]

Something about the way the OP posts come across makes me feel as though he might be grossly exaggerating her responses. I wonder if the convos between him and his fiancee might be going like this:

OP: Here's another possibility from GOG
Fiancee: Hmm, better clarity but it's a tiny bit smaller than my current, no?
OP: WHAAAAAAAAA...*all h*ll breaks loose*

It seems as though the OP is being resentful for having to think about exchanging the stone, and in that resentment might be taking every little thing coming from his fiancee personally and perhaps even making it a bigger issue than it might actually be.

Anyways, I think we have all served our purpose on this thread. Now it's up to the OP and his wife-to-be to figure out the POA (plan of action). Like I mentioned in my previous post, dont let this come between you two. It's just a ring, not a marriage. Gotta pick and choose your battles, what?

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 5/8/2009 1:15:56 AM
Author: kama_s
Something about the way the OP posts come across makes me feel as though he might be grossly exaggerating her responses. I wonder if the convos between him and his fiancee might be going like this:

OP: Here''s another possibility from GOG
Fiancee: Hmm, better clarity but it''s a tiny bit smaller than my current, no?
OP: WHAAAAAAAAA...*all h*ll breaks loose*

It seems as though the OP is being resentful for having to think about exchanging the stone, and in that resentment might be taking every little thing coming from his fiancee personally and perhaps even making it a bigger issue than it might actually be.

Anyways, I think we have all served our purpose on this thread. Now it''s up to the OP and his wife-to-be to figure out the POA (plan of action). Like I mentioned in my previous post, dont let this come between you two. It''s just a ring, not a marriage. Gotta pick and choose your battles, what?

This is an excellent point.

Adieu cdog.

 

[Po10472]

Date: 5/7/2009 4:12:27 PM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 5/7/2009 3:40:22 PM
Author: Po10472
oh for Pete's sake!!! What a carry-on!..........from some PS members, not the OP's situation.

Ask her what she wants and see if its feasible, if its not, then compromise.

I hope it works out for you both and once you've got it all done and dusted, come back with handshots for us all.

po
x

Po, just wondering if you read the entire thread. After she said he 'cheaped out' the first time, he has tried to see what she wants. The last couple of stones he suggested she said were 'too small'

Apparently this 'lady' isn't focused on compromise. She's focused on what SHE has decided that she DESERVES and MUST HAVE, or else the OP falls short (which she has no problem pointing out to him).

PP - yes, I did read the entire thread thank you.

My suggestion still stands, you have to keep trying to compromise otherwise what is the point and if this is before they get married - what type of marriage will they have if they can't communicate?

And what's with all the drama about this 'lady'??? We have only heard the OP's side of the story and what his girl may or may not have said and we don't know the context and sentiment behind how she said it but yet you make a drama out of a crisis and its frankly not necessary.

Yes, we can all voice our opinions on here and we don't need to agree with each other but that does not mean we lambast people who are not here to defend themselves. So I would appreciate it, if next time, you don't make comments like you have above.

There are too many threads going off topic nowadays and getting personal and frankly its uncalled for but really, its not helpful at all to the OP or to people genuinely interested in the topic.

 

[DiamondFlame]

Date: 5/8/2009 1:37:53 AM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 5/8/2009 1:15:56 AM
Author: kama_s
Something about the way the OP posts come across makes me feel as though he might be grossly exaggerating her responses. I wonder if the convos between him and his fiancee might be going like this:

OP: Here''s another possibility from GOG
Fiancee: Hmm, better clarity but it''s a tiny bit smaller than my current, no?
OP: WHAAAAAAAAA...*all h*ll breaks loose*

It seems as though the OP is being resentful for having to think about exchanging the stone, and in that resentment might be taking every little thing coming from his fiancee personally and perhaps even making it a bigger issue than it might actually be.

Anyways, I think we have all served our purpose on this thread. Now it''s up to the OP and his wife-to-be to figure out the POA (plan of action). Like I mentioned in my previous post, dont let this come between you two. It''s just a ring, not a marriage. Gotta pick and choose your battles, what?

This is an excellent point.

Adieu cdog.

Correction. An excellent ''speculation''.

I''m sure the OP have learnt at least one important lesson - never second guess a woman.

Anyway, there could be a few red flags here the OP might want to think about. If a couple can''t sort out a little issue over a ring, there''s little chance they can go thru life''s greater challenges together...

 

[Imdanny]

Amen to what Harriet said about stereotyping. Stereotypes never work. That''s why they''re called "stereotypes."

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I couldn''t manage to read all 10 pages. But I will say that I never recommend a guy get SI2 for an engagement ring when recommending stones on here. I prefer VS at least. To me, going with a high quality stone says you want the very best for her. And I think that is how it came off to her. The great thing about this is that the stone can easily be exchanged. Good thing you bought from GOG!

(I totally understand that there are many veteran PSers here who prefer lower clarity in order to get larger stones. But to those with less knowledge about diamonds, color and clarity do matter a lot.)

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 5/7/2009 11:47:39 AM
Author: QueenMum

Date: 5/7/2009 8:20:41 AM
Author: cdogstu99
And i also showed her this thread (which might have been a mistake); she then mentioned that diamond was too small and that she wants a VS1 (because of what she read here likely).

Too small?
Unless she is 18 and you are 90, this reflects a blatant lack of education.

If you''re a billionaire, I understand her too.

I haven''t caught up, but may I say, Good One QM! LOL!

 

[tyty333]

I''m wondering if the OP made it clear to the FF (upfont when she was letting him know what she wanted) that a
Tiff 1.25 was not in the budget? When he told her he could get her something better then I think she was sat up
for a major let down. Something better to me would have been at least a 1.5+ with the same qualities of the Tiff stone.
(or a HW

)

If the Tiff 1.25 was not in the budget he should have told her but said that he could get her something comprable but
non-tiff (which is almost what he did

with the exception of the little non-eyeclean slip).

I agree with deco...let her know what the options are at this point and talk it out...there has got to be a compromise
that you both can live with.

 

[DiamondFlame]

I wouldn''t say ''stereotype'' has no place here. At least it raises the question if someone (or her parents) might buy into certain cultural /social convention which wd make it an important factor to consider before the ring purchase. After all proposing with a ring IS a social construct.

Btw, diamondseeker, not every VS stone is eye clean since clarity grading is only done face up...

 

[Ellen]

I don''t know, after 10 pages (of psychoanalysis on two people we don''t know), I kind of feel like this. Maybe it''s just me....

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 5/8/2009 9:14:30 AM
Author: Ellen
I don''t know, after 10 pages (of psychoanalysis on two people we don''t know), I kind of feel like this. Maybe it''s just me....

Ditto... and I hope that the OP never comes back to read the rest of this post and I REALLY hope that his FI doesn''t read this thread... I recall that he said he showed it to her and that may cause more harm than good!

I agree with others who have said that the two need to sit down and talk it over and reach a compromise. That''s what marriage is all about, IMHO.

 

[Ali]

All done.