shape
carat
color
clarity

Okay help. Need a sanity check.

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Octavia

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Gypsy, sorry to threadjack -- but what part of Maui are you going to be staying on, Harleigh? I'm wracking my brain to try to remember some of the good restaurants we were at. And there is a thread, I think it's in Hangout, from a few days back discussing Maui restaurants...if I can find it, I'll be back with a link.

ETA: Success! https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/maui-restaurants.84596/

[/threadjack]

Back to Gypsy, I'm so glad that you were able to talk to them and that they're being accommodating. I really hope the second tasting goes well!
 

Gypsy

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Harleigh, can you post on the travelocity boards for restuarant advice? I have a hard time believing there aren''t some AWESOME island affordable eats available someplace in Maui. You can try checking with Zagat too. I''m sorrry you have to deal with this. But I would look for welcome dinner alternatives too!


Freke honey... one of these days I''m going to rampage a cupcake bakery, and when the police arrest me I''m gonna be screaming FREKE MADE ME DO IT! SHE DID! heh.

Thank you very much, VERY MUCH Harriet and Ellen. I do want this wedding very much.
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HI Krissie.. Yeah, I can be quite abrasive too. It''s nice to hear that I''m not alone!! I think the best plan is to lower my expectations to rock bottom, go from there. Thank you so very much for the much needed hug. ((HUG)) right back at you!

Octavia, NO problem on the threadjack. And thank you for the well wishes!

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Gypsy

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Had to post this because it''s so sweet:

John just called me and we were talking about $$ and savings for the wedding, and then he says.

BTW, I was talking to the people at my office and one of the ladies mentioned another winery in Livermore for us to check out if we want to switch... and she also knows a couple of good caterers so I thought I''d ask her to call them and see if they have any places they recommend... I was surprised because last night I told him that the venue had offered the second tasting, and that I was going to be more relaxed...


And so I stopped him, told him how much his love and support mean to me and he says, I just don''t want you to feel trapped by these people, I know how much this wedding means to you and how long we''ve waited, so I want everything to be right.


And it was just so lovely. And thoughtful. And so we talked some more... and we decided that as long as the food is good/to forgettable. And not MEMORABLY BAD, and the venue addresses our concerns, we''ll stick to where we are most likely... but until the tasting we''ll look into other places and see what our options are and he''s more than willing to look do the work of finding someplace new just in case.


It was just so sweet because I thought after I told him about the second tasting he''d just... be a guy about it and go with the flow. But he''s being proactive. And it just means so much.


I love that man. And I can''t wait till I''m his wife.

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Everything is going to be fine.

 

Octavia

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That is wonderfully sweet!! It''s so nice when guys take the initiative on things like this, especially wedding-related stuff. And it sounds like you two have come up with a great compromise on the venue thing -- keeping your options open, but giving your venue a second chance. Hooray!
 

Ellen

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Date: 5/8/2008 2:45:36 PM
Author: Gypsy

I love that man. And I can''t wait till I''m his wife.

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Everything is going to be fine.

Yup.
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TravelingGal

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Date: 5/7/2008 5:10:06 PM
Author: isaku5
Holy Crappoly!!! Note to self: NEVER ask for a kick in the pants on THIS BOARD!!

Part two of note to self: NEVER EVER ask Deco or Surfgirl specifically for ANYTHING!!

I''m not looking forward to Tgal''s response although since she recently had a baby she might have mellowed a bit. Here''s hoping!!
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Gypsy, I don''t care what your problem is or was, but I''m with you all the way, kiddo!
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You have every right to ask for another tasting, perhaps requesting different dishes.
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Bahaha!!! This had me laughing out loud.
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We three are probably not the people to ask to sympathize on this issue. One had a barn wedding whose biggest concern seemed to be whether or not to carry cute plastic flowers. Another eloped. And me...well, I didn''t even know what kind of flowers I was going to have until the day of and spent a good part of my reception checking out the surprise details!

I haven''t mellowed...if anything sleep deprivation has made me CRANKIER!!!
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As for your issue Gypsy, I haven''t read the tasting thread...just this one. I agree as usual with Deco (who I''ll give a shout out to since I feel like I haven''t seen her in forever) when it comes to the point that even fab tastings can end up blah. Our tasting was delish...but when it came time to mass produce it for 50 guests...well let''s say the prime rib wasn''t perfect at all. But who cares? I will tell you what Gypsy...wine (depending on your choice) and beer are usually consistent and if you supply enough of it, no one will remember bad food (although it may cause more broken vases).
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(Hmm...did that sound horrifically mellow?
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)
 

Gypsy

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Date: 5/8/2008 3:02:14 PM
Author: Octavia
That is wonderfully sweet!! It''s so nice when guys take the initiative on things like this, especially wedding-related stuff. And it sounds like you two have come up with a great compromise on the venue thing -- keeping your options open, but giving your venue a second chance. Hooray!

It is very nice Octavia. I was really surprised, and of course, touched. Thank you!!!

Ellen, thank you again.
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T-gal. Well, yeah. It was mellow. But still had a hint of your usual snark. I''ll get the guests drunk. Aye, aye.
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And thank you for telling me about your prime rib. LOL.
 

isaku5

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Yep, even with sleep deprivation, Tgal has mellowed a teensy bit
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lesco

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Date: 5/7/2008 11:52:09 PM
Author: Gypsy
Mishka and Maise, thank you both for your support. I am concerned, but a less stressed about it. Which is nice.

Harleigh, WOW, the reviews were that bad honey? Yikes. I''m sorry. I admire you for taking the approach of being less stressed about it all, and taking care of yourself. I think I''m going to have to follow you example. You have my support whenever you need it. I look forward to updates!

PurrfectPear, thank for the perspective... I thiink you and everyone who has agreed with you are right, most people don''t go to a wedding expecting a 5 star knock your socks off meal. I''m afraid I was letting my competitive nature get to me, the most recent wedding we attended had just flat out amazing food and service. But you are right, it was the exception not the rule by far!

Thank you Freke honey, I laid on some honey today. And at the second tasting... we''ll play boost the chef''s ego, on strict orders from Freke. I like your plan for shock and awe!! LOL about you and Dale as the reverse of me and John. The enforcer. ROAR! That''s me.

Thank you for the good luck and the perspective lesco! And for the compliment, *blush*. We will do our best to pick the best dishes we can and hope for the best. This line of yours '' However, let me tell you what all guests will remember... A relaxed, happy, radiant couple. It will all come together.'' Really hit home for me. I will work on being more relaxed and happy and not focus so much on the stress. ((HUGS)) Thank you for de-lurking for me. I appreciate it. Stick around, we''d love to see more of you!
My pleasure Gypsy... I''ll stick around.
 

doodle

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Date: 5/8/2008 4:59:32 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Date: 5/7/2008 5:10:06 PM

I will tell you what Gypsy...wine (depending on your choice) and beer are usually consistent and if you supply enough of it, no one will remember bad food (although it may cause more broken vases).
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(Hmm...did that sound horrifically mellow?
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)
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MY HERO!!!! wait...is my irish-italian heritage showing? DARN!
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Gypsy

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Isaku-- yep. The amazing powers of T-tot.

Lesco-- I''ll look foward to your posts, in that case.

Doodle... *SNORT* I think my Italian FI would agree. Since I''m paying 30 something A HEAD for beer and wine (yes, ONLY beer and wine. And no, I didn''t add a zero) I have to say I hope the guests DO indulge all they want!! Sadly it''s a Sunday wedding that ends at 9pm, so it''s not gonna be that rip roaring drunkfest of an event.
 

decodelighted

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Glad to hear the 2nd tasting''s a go, Gypsy! And that John was so proactive .... you guys make a great team!

Date: 5/8/2008 4:59:32 PM
Author: TravelingGal
One had a barn wedding whose biggest concern seemed to be whether or not to carry cute plastic flowers.
Hey hey hey ... those were distressed painted METAL flowers, and they ended up on the sweetheart table, rather than in my greedy mitts. I carried entirely respectable cream colored Calla Lilies. Harumph!
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But to Tgal''s very sage point: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm booze!
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(smooch the Ttot for me!!)
 

Harriet

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Date: 5/8/2008 12:23:19 PM
Author: Gypsy
Harleigh, can you post on the travelocity boards for restuarant advice? I have a hard time believing there aren''t some AWESOME island affordable eats available someplace in Maui. You can try checking with Zagat too. I''m sorrry you have to deal with this. But I would look for welcome dinner alternatives too!


Freke honey... one of these days I''m going to rampage a cupcake bakery, and when the police arrest me I''m gonna be screaming FREKE MADE ME DO IT! SHE DID! heh.

Thank you very much, VERY MUCH Harriet and Ellen. I do want this wedding very much.
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HI Krissie.. Yeah, I can be quite abrasive too. It''s nice to hear that I''m not alone!! I think the best plan is to lower my expectations to rock bottom, go from there. Thank you so very much for the much needed hug. ((HUG)) right back at you!

Octavia, NO problem on the threadjack. And thank you for the well wishes!

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You are welcome.
 

galeteia

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Did I read somewhere that you are paying in the vicinity of 11k for the catering of your wedding?

If so, and this place trumpets its claim to fame is the quality of food and quality of service, it's reasonable to expect its food and service to be trumpet-worthy.
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It's totally possible the head chef would have kicked his kitchen's collective keisters to Canada and back if he'd caught them bringing out the crappy stuff to you, had he been there. (Mental image of Gordon Ramsay laying a verbal smackdown on something en route to the floor, complete with cussing and insults to people's parentage
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)

As for you frequently posting drama, well, it sounds to me like when a dramabomb goes off in your life, you post about it to vent. Some people say nothing but throw dishes ... venting is healthy. When there is no dramabomb, you post about non-dramatic things. You always seem to choose titles that make it clear which type of thread it's going to be to warn off those unready to hear a blast of frustration and that's very considerate, IMHO.

Glad they are offering you a second tasting with the head chef present and accounted for. Your response was a bit vinegary but I can understand why when this much money is at stake and this wedding has been complicating your life for so long.
Hope it all works out!
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doodle

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Date: 5/8/2008 10:26:53 PM
Author: Gypsy

Doodle... *SNORT* I think my Italian FI would agree. Since I''m paying 30 something A HEAD for beer and wine (yes, ONLY beer and wine. And no, I didn''t add a zero) I have to say I hope the guests DO indulge all they want!! Sadly it''s a Sunday wedding that ends at 9pm, so it''s not gonna be that rip roaring drunkfest of an event.

let me put it to ya this way: legend has it that, after my mother and father left their reception when they got married, my drunk grandmother wound up sitting on the piano singing her butt off...WITH THE PRIEST. i can''t believe how much they''re charging you for the juice, though--you''re paying more for that than i am per person for the food at my wedding!!! gotta love the southeast, i suppose!
 

diamondfan

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Gypsy, everyone can have an off day, but this is your wedding so let's hope, if you stay with that venue, that THAT was their off day.

I think it very fair to give concise and helpful criticisms. Saying, I did not like it does not help the chef improve. Saying, I felt the sauce was a bit too acidic or salty DOES help. Just maybe say it in a bit kinder way...for even if you are right, and have a right to be ticked, in the end it does not help you get what you are aiming for.

I often think that staring with the positives, what was RIGHT, is great. Then you can very nicely segue to the BUT part.

If you are paying top dollar, and they pride themselves in their food quality and the high caliber of their service, it totally benefits you AND them to hear an honest assessment. How can they expect to improve if not given a heads up? It is really tough, the catering/wedding/party biz, but they should stand behind what they offer and should welcome constructive comments from the client, who pays their bills. But know that you could have gone, had an awesome tasting and then, the day of, something goes wrong. The supplier does not give them the right veg. The chef gets ill and sends his cousin...you get the idea. What I am trying to say is do not live and die by the tasting, you want a general sense of is the food edible/tasty and the service good, it gives you a glimpse of what you will get on your big day, but crap does happen in life, especially where weddings are concerned!

If you can find a new, great place NOW, and are not worried that they might mess up, do it. Otherwise, take the time to see if you cannot get this place back into gear. I think it will be better for you if you can, and not add more to your plate.

And if you have any doubt, serve a LOT of good alcohol...it won't matter much at that point WHAT is served.
 

Mrs Mitchell

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Hey, Gypsy!
It's going to be ok. You love him, he loves you- I can feel it from here! Nothing on earth beats wedding planning stress, you're not alone.

My wedding reception was a dinner party. Just that - no cocktails, no dancing, no anything except a dinner party for 50 people. The food was therefore the star of the show. We picked a local venue on the strength of its fabulous catering and dramatic location (castle on a hill top) and stressed over and over that we wanted restaurant dinner party not catering, if you know what I mean.

Our first tasting didn't happen - they forgot. We turned up, they hadn't cooked our menu.

The second tasting was beyond awful. Which part of my brief sounded like 'please just defrost a bunch of catering pack stuff and serve it up with dreary vegetables'? I cried, my DH nearly cried, we sat at the lovely little table in the middle of the castle restaurant and I sobbed. No one asked if we had a problem with anything, they just took the virtually untouched plates away. The staff with hindsight were embarassed and upset too, but came over as surly and poorly trained.

I planned my wedding in three months, so an alternative venue wasn't an option. We asked to meet with their event planner, head waiter and chef the next evening, when we were a little less unhappy and talked them through what we were hoping for v what we were served. We tried our best to be kind and to say that we were looking for a different type of meal altogether, not the same -but- better. The events guy stalked off in the huff, the chef put his hands up and said, I'm sorry - we had a terrible day, it won't happen on your wedding day. We then went through each course detail by detail untill we understood each other (my aspirations, his practical limitations).

Five years on, people still talk about the food and wine at our wedding. It was meant to be the focus of the reception and it was - they totally pulled it off, and your people will too, if you can work with them. What I learned was that they don't know what my mental expectation/ image of a dish is and I don't know what their practical issues are, so we had to talk. It really did make the difference. It's more than a contract of service (I pay x you provide y) it's a personal relationship based on that contract, tailored to be exactly what you want.

Dunno if this helps you or not, but what I'm saying is if you find another venue, you may very well still have to go through the same process with them. Be kind, be constructive and make them want to do you proud, even if you want to hurl their chicken stew around the room!
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Hope you're ok and that this stress isn't driving you crazy.

Hugs

Jen
 

Gypsy

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Thank you Deco, and I remember the flowers. I thought they were the perfect touch of whimsy for your wedding.

Harriet:
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Galateia-- Yeah. It really sticks in my craw. These prices are WITHOUT tax and gratuity. The entrees are 37 a person. Salad 12. Appetizers 11-14. Beer, wine and soft drinks 31 a person. Cocktail hour displays are 5 a person. The passed hords for cocktail hour are ... 9 dollars a guest for three pieces. So, considering the prices of the food, and their own advertising... it''s really bothering me. I like to get value. I obviously didn''t mind the prices too much or I wouldn''t have booked, but that''s when I believed the food was going to be worth the price paid. The place we are having our rehersal dinner has the BEST food too. And it''s costing me 25 a head!!!

Hi doodle, that''s hilarious about mom and the priest! Your food prices however... make me, again, wish we had booked our wedding in another state.

DF-- thank you for the advice! I will definitely try to moderate the tone of any criticisms from now on. And we are looking at other venues. I actually have an appointment with one tomorrow. So, we''ll see how that goes. And I''ll probably drop in on another while I''m at it.


MrsM-- thanks for the great advice. I will take these words to heart."What I learned was that they don''t know what my mental expectation/ image of a dish is and I don''t know what their practical issues are, so we had to talk. It really did make the difference... Be kind, be constructive and make them want to do you proud, even if you want to hurl their chicken stew around the room!" ((HUGS))
 

Ellen

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Date: 5/8/2008 5:07:38 PM
Author: Gypsy

Ellen, thank you again.
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Most welcome Gypsy.
 

Gypsy

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Date: 5/8/2008 2:45:36 PM
Author: Gypsy


Had to post this because it''s so sweet:

John just called me and we were talking about $$ and savings for the wedding, and then he says.


BTW, I was talking to the people at my office and one of the ladies mentioned another winery in Livermore for us to check out if we want to switch... and she also knows a couple of good caterers so I thought I''d ask her to call them and see if they have any places they recommend... I was surprised because last night I told him that the venue had offered the second tasting, and that I was going to be more relaxed...




And so I stopped him, told him how much his love and support mean to me and he says, I just don''t want you to feel trapped by these people, I know how much this wedding means to you and how long we''ve waited, so I want everything to be right.




And it was just so lovely. And thoughtful. And so we talked some more... and we decided that as long as the food is good/to forgettable. And not MEMORABLY BAD, and the venue addresses our concerns, we''ll stick to where we are most likely... but until the tasting we''ll look into other places and see what our options are and he''s more than willing to look do the work of finding someplace new just in case.




It was just so sweet because I thought after I told him about the second tasting he''d just... be a guy about it and go with the flow. But he''s being proactive. And it just means so much.




I love that man. And I can''t wait till I''m his wife.

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Everything is going to be fine.

Awww, just wanted to say how sweet and thoughtful he soudns! And i''m SOO glad he is offering to help in such a stressful situation! I hope the 2nd tasting turns out better than the first! When is the 2nd one taking place? Keep us updated on how it goes!
 

Gypsy

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FMPD. Have heard ZITCH from the venue since I called them. ZITCH.

I''m am looking at two venues tomorrow though. One of them is a hotel. But has an outdoor ceremony space. And the other a different winery. The other winery would be most cost effective. But I''ve never been there before so I''d have to really go and take a look around.
 
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Date: 5/9/2008 7:57:46 PM
Author: Gypsy
FMPD. Have heard ZITCH from the venue since I called them. ZITCH.

I''m am looking at two venues tomorrow though. One of them is a hotel. But has an outdoor ceremony space. And the other a different winery. The other winery would be most cost effective. But I''ve never been there before so I''d have to really go and take a look around.
Oh no!! Sorry, I thought you were going to do the 2nd tasting, but it sounds like they are STILL not treating you well!!! Ugh!

I just want to say I''m glad you guys are forging ahead, staying calm, and looking for new places that will treat you the way you deserve!! I hope both of these two options are good ones!! Once you get it all figured out it will be worth all of the trouble you went through! I''m just so sorry you have to deal with this after you already found a venue the first time around
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Gypsy

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They said we''re doing a second tasting, but I haven''t heard anything. So I have to proceed in a way to protect ourselves. Thank you for the good wishes and commisseration FMPD!
 

SarahLovesJS

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Just wanted to check in Gypsy! Looks like you''re going to two new venues and doing a second tasting, correct? Looks like everything is on track currently. Are you going to try the same foods at the second tasting or new selections? Let us know how the other venues are!
 

Gypsy

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Okay. So there is this are a ton of wedding venue sites for the bay area. And I've searched them ALL. Extensively.

So tonight, I decide to go to a few of them to see if there are any places I've forgotten about, or am willing to consider now that I hadn't considered before. And BAM. There is a facility right up the street from this area I know VERY WELL, that I have NEVER seen before. Or heard of. And it has the potential to be just right. Close enough that my current vendors won't charge me extra for deliveries... close enough to my grandparents, even the COLORS of the place will work for me. And it looks nice enough that I won't need a ton of decorations to make it look nice. Plus they do in house catering AND allow outside catering (YES!). AND well, I've never seen it listed before. EVER. It is a new developing area though, so I mean it could be brand new (and the link to it from the website didn't work, YAY... that means they may not be getting a lot of action, and might have space available which would be great)... and well. I called. Emailed. Heck I'd FAX them if I could. I might just pop by tomorrow although it says they are open only during the week.

So I'm REALLY crossing my digits. And my eyes. And um... my internal organs. Cause this place has the potential to be just right.

Which means I would be four dress, three venue, two shoe gal. Well, I said promised John we'd get married come hell or high water in 2008. And it may just come to that. One of the other nice things about this venue is that its closer to nicer accomodations for our guests. I wasn't happy with the hotel room blocks I got for Garre, they are the best ones that were reasonably close... but this place has some much nicer accomodations, and variety of them close by.

Not gonna get my hopes up. After all its about 4 months to the wedding date. But... well. I wanted to write about it.

Galateia... I meant to say earlier that yes, I do post about drama when it drops into my life. This place is theraputic for me... I can vent safely here. And it saves my therapy bills...lol. I appreciate the observation about the thread titles. And the support.

Sarah, the second tasting if and when it happens I specified that I would like to try everything we are considering serving. Down to the side dishes. They asked for a list of what we want to taste and I sent it to them. So hopefully, it will happen, and it will be exactly what we asked for.
 

SarahLovesJS

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Date: 5/9/2008 10:59:45 PM
Author: Gypsy
Okay. So there is this are a ton of wedding venue sites for the bay area. And I''ve searched them ALL. Extensively.


So tonight, I decide to go to a few of them to see if there are any places I''ve forgotten about, or am willing to consider now that I hadn''t considered before. And BAM. There is a facility right up the street from this area I know VERY WELL, that I have NEVER seen before. Or heard of. And it has the potential to be just right. Close enough that my current vendors won''t charge me extra for deliveries... close enough to my grandparents, even the COLORS of the place will work for me. And it looks nice enough that I won''t need a ton of decorations to make it look nice. Plus they do in house catering AND allow outside catering (YES!). AND well, I''ve never seen it listed before. EVER. It is a new developing area though, so I mean it could be brand new (and the link to it from the website didn''t work, YAY... that means they may not be getting a lot of action, and might have space available which would be great)... and well. I called. Emailed. Heck I''d FAX them if I could. I might just pop by tomorrow although it says they are open only during the week.


So I''m REALLY crossing my digits. And my eyes. And um... my internal organs. Cause this place has the potential to be just right.


Which means I would be four dress, three venue, two shoe gal. Well, I said promised John we''d get married come hell or high water in 2008. And it may just come to that. One of the other nice things about this venue is that its closer to nicer accomodations for our guests. I wasn''t happy with the hotel room blocks I got for Garre, they are the best ones that were reasonably close... but this place has some much nicer accomodations, and variety of them close by.


Not gonna get my hopes up. After all its about 4 months to the wedding date. But... well. I wanted to write about it.


Galateia... I meant to say earlier that yes, I do post about drama when it drops into my life. This place is theraputic for me... I can vent safely here. And it saves my therapy bills...lol. I appreciate the observation about the thread titles. And the support.


Sarah, the second tasting if and when it happens I specified that I would like to try everything we are considering serving. Down to the side dishes. They asked for a list of what we want to taste and I sent it to them. So hopefully, it will happen, and it will be exactly what we asked for.


Gypsy that is great! I understand about not getting your hopes up, but I will send some PS dust your way! Sometimes something pops up just when you need it, you never know. It''s at least another option.
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Ohh I see about the second tasting, hopefully you''ll get what you want this time from them and this place you want to go see will work out! That way you''ll be able to make a decision and not feel stuck with somewhere. Either way, I am sure it is going to work out somehow. ((Hugs))
 

Gypsy

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Thank you so much Sarah! I just found two other places. Either of which would be perfect. Both in cities I hadn''t considered, but... really they are reasonably close by and the facilities are just beautiful. And look affordable. Okay so I''m REALLY hoping one of the three I found tonight work out. I know its a long shot, but well... with some PS dust (thank you Sarah) anything is possible.
 

SarahLovesJS

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No problem, three options are definitely better than one! Woohoo! PS dust is some awesome stuff, I am telling ya!
 

Gypsy

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Okay. So one of them isn''t so hot. Still, I''d go take a look at it. THANKS SARAH!
 
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