Nail Salon jealously lol

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/19/2007 6:11:29 AM
Author: justjulia
The ''problem'' with wanting something right away, so expensive, is that you have to ask ''where does it stop?'' Because, next it will be the home, and the car, and vacations, and schools, and, well, you get the picture. Like fine wine, these things take time. These 20-somethings (and I know there are several on this board and I love the variety) just don''t seem to believe that they are going to live as long as they will (God willing) and that they will be married a long time, too.

this reminds me of a story... I was in my first jeweler''s shop discussing things when this girl comes in, about 19 or 20. She''s asking to look at rings they have, trying things on and talking a LOT. So she''s saying how her fiance is on MTV and he bought her a tiffany ring but she''s looking at settings to have it reset into another setting (the jeweler and I are glancing at each other here) and she''s waiting for it to arrive because it''s on special order (again, glance) and she just wants some idea of what sort of setting she wants but all of these diamonds are too small because she''s getting at least two or three carats (again glance). So I speak up and say wow, I didn''t have anything like that when I first got married... and she said, I STG, well I have to milk it while I can, who knows how long the marriage will last. to which I could not control myself and I said, "most people don''t go into marriage knowing that it will likely fail." And she blew it off and said, "I''m young, I''ve got time." OMG.

The story was lame but I''m 99% sure it was a big fat lie anyway. All of her "tiffany" info was just so off the mark and I really have a hard time imagining any MTV veejay even knowing her let alone wanting to marry her... she was um, not the type. But seriously - either she was off her rocker or her lie was. Geez, if I was going to go in a jewelry store and make up a story as an excuse to try on pretty jewelry I''d make up something romantic, not something ridiculous!!!!

 

[Miranda]

Date: 4/19/2007 10:14:25 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I don''t think we should all be so quick to judge. We don''t know anything about the OPs background and social circle. For all we know, 3+ ct rocks could be the norm. From the average person''s perspective a 1.5 ct E VS1 is an AMAZING engagement ring but for someone from a background of money and a high-social standing that might be modest.

I do agree however that a 3 ct assher is not going to be as impressive as you''re expecting. Try for a 5 or 10 ct....just kidding...

HH, I don''t think anyone is being too quick to judge.

The OP has started more than one thread here that has gotten a VERY negative response. Like was stated above, some people develop a reputation based on their threads and posts. I happen to wonder if it is for attention. Some people will do anything for attention, positive OR negative. And some folks will start threads that may not be based in reality. Just my opinion...

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/19/2007 8:19:03 AM
Author: ladykemma
i have to admit, that, for me anyway, i get jealous, or resentful, or question the judgement, of the 20 somethings on here who have a 2 -3 carat rock.

I had to work my butt off for my 1.25 carat rock that I bought for myself-- and I''m 44.

yeah, I totally know what you mean, but different people have different situations and different priorities. You have no mortgage payment... I have two. I consider both you and I fairly on the same page regarding financial stability and yet we have different goals and different ways of making it happen. My goal is to have a house in CA with only a 200k mortgage so we have money all over the place trying to make MORE money LOL Our diamond expenditure was quite out of character, but sometimes it''s nice to just do it. If we consolidated everything we could have no house payment on one house also, but we just do things differently. And some people come from wealthy families who leave them money to burn.

I think it is foolish sometimes when the younger folk spend money on luxury items in lieu of creating stability, but there''s also that what the hell, it''s meant to be spent, you only live once, enjoy it while you can thought that runs through my head. Ultimately though I just let it go because I have enough keeping my own life in balance. However if someone is annoying sometimes I don''t wish to help myself from being pissy LOL

So... are you a chemistry teacher? is that the "kemma"?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/19/2007 8:25:37 AM
Author: Ellen
See, that''s where I guess I''m different. I was THRILLED just to have a diamond, even if you did have to practically get a magnifying glass out to see it.

I never once gave a thought to how mine compared to others. It was the ring he bought me, the ring he felt he could afford and I was happy with that. For 24 years.

OK, I''ll quit, my age is showing.

it sure is!!! I thought you were under 40

I think back then it was different though - I don''t think there was so much pressure to have a large diamond... just a symbolic one. By the time I got married there might have been more pressure to have a carat or so in certain groups, but I was young and not in that group. I would have been thrilled with 1/4 carat. 1/2 carat was a dream stone.

But nowadays, kids, jr high and high KIDS are wearing fake sets, adults are wearing fake rings that look amazing, everyone''s going for big big big and it is setting a certain style threshold, even if they aren''t real. And those of us who DO want real diamonds then either have to go with "Yeah mine isn''t that big but it''s *real* (which doesn''t go very far unless you actually go around *saying* that lol) or to go for broke and get a bigger stone. I''m not really talking about any of us so much as what MIGHT be going through the heads of those who are young and entering the engagement arena during the "bling" era LOL It might very well be a pressure that we are oblivious to because we''re too far removed.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/19/2007 8:25:37 AM
Author: Ellen

I do believe things are different now, and not just with rings. Young people just starting out want first homes that compare with what it some of us took years to be in. Same with cars. Times are different. Not sure they''re better, but they certainly are different.

that is so true also... when dh was military we had this 1981 brown toyota corona (this was in the early-mid 90''s) with one white door that was PAID OFF (read: no car payment) that we used until it *died*. Then we upgraded to a 5 year old camry woo!!! We only had one car until we had our 2nd child and our first went to kindergarten so... 8 years. All the time in the military we were teased about our small TV and ugly car (people actually said things like "aren''t you embarrassed") well duh, it wasn''t our dream car, but we were able to leave the military with a few thou in savings, no car payment, ready to buy a house using VA loan, no debt. Most of our peers got out of the military with 20k in debt and car payments! But they had new mustangs and home entertainment systems (that we didn''t get for several more years). Our first house was 1200 sqft and just a typical suburban ranch and was perfect for us. Nothing fancy. We lived in that house until my mental health was about to explode LOL Two more kids and a labrador later we just needed more room. We''ve always lived under our means to try to get ahead... though I think I''m seriously breaking the bank with my horrible sushi habit

 

[Nicrez]

I blame it on the parents who often cave in or shower their neglected children with their wishes to compensate for lack of parenting. I hate to be judgemental, but I see it time and time again!!

It's the nano for the 7 year old, the mani/pedis for the 4 year olds, the new cars for the teenagers, the Spring Break trips parents pay for their kids to Australia or even Cancun! The expensive toys and PS3s for the 6 year old who needs one more gaming system to complete his set of 10... When I was growing up, my parents NEVER bought me anything I wanted at the moment I wanted it. I had to earn it. In school, working for my dad, or even by being a good kid. It's odd because I did have very nice things growing up, many luxuries kids back then didn't have, but NEVER did I feel entitled?! My father's money was never mine, and to ASK for something big (like the pony I never got) was just not even a thought. I never wanted for anything though, and material things were not as important it seems back then? Sure you had the latest clothes, or toys, but to have a toy cost more than $150 was really unheard of. Now that seems an average price range people spend on pre-teens...

I only got luxury items when i could afford them on my own. If i didn't NEED it, it was carefully considered and then given ONLY on rare occassion and for an event, like birthday or holiday. You appreciate things more when you worked those several hours on your feet to afford that mani/pedi!

It's marketing that has solidified the consumerism in young kids, the low self-esteem and insecurity that perpetuates the need for it all and the parent's guilt over not parenting that aquires those marketed items. I guess as parents, amny of them need to learn to say NO, and not feel guilty about it. Tough love, but necessary.

 

[Skippy123]

Nicrez,
I was debating whether to post this or not after reading your post, but I think you are right about kids now at days. I got an ipod for my birthday not too long ago and I see kids getting ipods with other stuff

I wonder where do all these parents get the money to pay for stuff and then I hear about all the cc debt they have (the same parents who bought their kid and ipod).

I remember as a kid getting a baby calf for my birthday because my parents didn't have money. I liked my cow but I really wanted a strawberry shortcake doll. I laugh now about the cow, but that is all my parents had to give me and I love them for that! I am a lucky girl with wonderful parents and a wonderful hubby.

p.s. my post does not relate to this thread nor do I want it to since I feel a lot of people already coverd my thoughts. I am just replying to Nicrez. thanks.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 4/19/2007 12:26:51 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 4/19/2007 6:11:29 AM
Author: justjulia
The ''problem'' with wanting something right away, so expensive, is that you have to ask ''where does it stop?'' Because, next it will be the home, and the car, and vacations, and schools, and, well, you get the picture. Like fine wine, these things take time. These 20-somethings (and I know there are several on this board and I love the variety) just don''t seem to believe that they are going to live as long as they will (God willing) and that they will be married a long time, too.

this reminds me of a story... I was in my first jeweler''s shop discussing things when this girl comes in, about 19 or 20. She''s asking to look at rings they have, trying things on and talking a LOT. So she''s saying how her fiance is on MTV and he bought her a tiffany ring but she''s looking at settings to have it reset into another setting (the jeweler and I are glancing at each other here) and she''s waiting for it to arrive because it''s on special order (again, glance) and she just wants some idea of what sort of setting she wants but all of these diamonds are too small because she''s getting at least two or three carats (again glance). So I speak up and say wow, I didn''t have anything like that when I first got married... and she said, I STG, well I have to milk it while I can, who knows how long the marriage will last. to which I could not control myself and I said, ''most people don''t go into marriage knowing that it will likely fail.'' And she blew it off and said, ''I''m young, I''ve got time.'' OMG.

The story was lame but I''m 99% sure it was a big fat lie anyway. All of her ''tiffany'' info was just so off the mark and I really have a hard time imagining any MTV veejay even knowing her let alone wanting to marry her... she was um, not the type. But seriously - either she was off her rocker or her lie was. Geez, if I was going to go in a jewelry store and make up a story as an excuse to try on pretty jewelry I''d make up something romantic, not something ridiculous!!!!

This kind of behaviour really gives a bad reputation to younger people, and even the serious ones sometimes get treated pretty badly because of it. I''m going to be 22 in less than 3 weeks, and I''ve been ignored at jewellery stores when we were ring shopping last year, and again at a bridal shop when I went to look at dresses last fall...

I got a .50ct diamond, and I was even lucky to get it, especially since my FI wanted to buy locally so we paid more for it than we would have online. For some reason my FI absolutely wanted to go by the 2-months salary rule and would not be dissuaded, so I was very lucky. I''m probably never going to get an upgrade, and you know what? I don''t care. My not-quite-up-to-PS-standards diamond and its unique hand-made setting mean the world to me. It''s not just what I wanted, it''s what he wanted. He''s very proud of the ring, and if I walked up to him and whined it was too small, he would be very hurt.

Yes, sometimes looking at the rock some ladies have around here I kind of wish I had bigger, but even then, I know it wouldn''t change anything to our relationship. We wouldn''t love each other more or less for it.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/19/2007 1:33:58 PM
Author: anchor31
I got a .50ct diamond, and I was even lucky to get it, especially since my FI wanted to buy locally so we paid more for it than we would have online. For some reason my FI absolutely wanted to go by the 2-months salary rule and would not be dissuaded, so I was very lucky. I''m probably never going to get an upgrade, and you know what? I don''t care. My not-quite-up-to-PS-standards diamond and its unique hand-made setting mean the world to me. It''s not just what I wanted, it''s what he wanted. He''s very proud of the ring, and if I walked up to him and whined it was too small, he would be very hurt.

I love your ring, still remember the first time I saw it and thought how pretty it was! It is beautifuly by PS standards too yanno!

 

[Nicrez]

Skippy, the baby calf gift is so cute! I never got any animal. Not even a puppy. I had to buy my own goldfish.

But I'll tell you now, something very very gratifying about getting gifts from your parents that you can appreciate where they came from. I remember getting an extravagant gift from my mother, and knowing what it took to get something like that from her made me cry. Not because it was so extravagant (looking back I was young and it isn't so extravagant anymore) but the effort and thought to make me happy was the gift. She gave it to me with so much eagerness and it was such a sacrifice for her and she would not let me refuse it. She still does that to this day, and it still makes me realize that ANY gift I get from someone I love is precious because they are still alive and well enough to be giving me ANYTHING! I personally love things handed-down, that to me is the ultimate gift! A piece of jewlery isn't as special to me unless there is a history for it and makes decent things look AMAZING. But that's maybe just me.

Anchor, well said. It's very true that young people who are serious get ignored. But it's a biase against ANYONE whom the salesperson feels will not yeild a quick and profitable sale, so young people are in that category it seems. I had it happen to me many times. I also look younger than I am so it still happens quite a bit! I love the Pretty Woman effect when you go in and DO buy from them, though. It makes the initial prejudice seem silly.

Congrats on having a wonderful FI (a beautiful ring!!) and wonderful relationship at 22 and being so mature about it! I would be so happy to one day have kids that grow up to think like you!

 

[Mrs.soontobealfonzo]

The star of this post is here

. lol

My My My where do I begin. I just want to clarity a couple of things that bothered me. First off let it be known that I adore my fiance. The proposal I got was so out of this world that I would have been happy with him just asking me. I am truly happy that I found a man that loves me deeply, and will do anything to put a smile on my face no matter what. He and I are very successful ,and we would never make any purchase that we couldn''t afford. We dont have any dept whats so ever. Second what is up with throwing in the fact that my ring is clarity enhanced. what does that have to do with anything? It''s still a REAL DIAMOND? and that comment is just catty.

I live in new york, and work on Park Avenue. Size does matter here. I dont write here to have problems with anyone, and I dont want people to dislike me for just asking for an opionions and venting. I thought this is what this forum is for.

Some of you wrote some nasty things

, but I must say its been very entertaining.

 

[Harriet]

Date: 4/19/2007 2:03:16 PM
Author: Mrs.soontobealfonzo
The star of this post is here

. lol

My My My where do I begin. I just want to clarity a couple of things that bothered me. First off let it be known that I adore my fiance. The proposal I got was so out of this world that I would have been happy with him just asking me. I am truly happy that I found a man that loves me deeply, and will do anything to put a smile on my face no matter what. He and I are very successful ,and we would never make any purchase that we couldn''t afford. We dont have any dept whats so ever. Second what is up with throwing in the fact that my ring is clarity enhanced. what does that have to do with anything? It''s still a REAL DIAMOND? and that comment is just catty.

I live in new york, and work on Park Avenue.Size does matter here. I dont write here to have problems with anyone, and I dont want people to dislike me for just asking for an opionions and venting. I thought this is what this forum is for.

Some of you wrote some nasty things

, but I must say its been very entertaining.

If that''s what you believe, there will be no end to the envy (as a NY resident myself, I''ve been visited by the

one too many times). If you can afford the perpetual upgrading, good for you. That said, please remember that not everyone is as fortunate as you are.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/19/2007 2:03:16 PM
Author: Mrs.soontobealfonzo
The star of this post is here

. lol

My My My where do I begin. I just want to clarity a couple of things that bothered me. First off let it be known that I adore my fiance. The proposal I got was so out of this world that I would have been happy with him just asking me. I am truly happy that I found a man that loves me deeply, and will do anything to put a smile on my face no matter what. He and I are very successful ,and we would never make any purchase that we couldn''t afford. We dont have any dept whats so ever. Second what is up with throwing in the fact that my ring is clarity enhanced. what does that have to do with anything? It''s still a REAL DIAMOND? and that comment is just catty.

I live in new york, and work on Park Avenue. Size does matter here. I dont write here to have problems with anyone, and I dont want people to dislike me for just asking for an opionions and venting. I thought this is what this forum is for.

Some of you wrote some nasty things

, but I must say its been very entertaining.

you''ve got a great attitude here YOu know women, meow! But much of this (however inspired by you ) has gone off in several tangents that reflect other things... so don''t take all of it personally. Perception is so important in everything and online it is just so hard to be sure you''re right and so easy to be wrong (both in expressing and in interpreting). Just eat some pie and be entertained ::dances off the stage in a clumsy buffalo step::

 

[Mrs.soontobealfonzo]

Harriet your right, My intentions were not to offend anyone. And If I did I apologize again for it.

 

[Nicrez]

Date: 4/19/2007 3:16:55 PM
Author: Harriet

Date: 4/19/2007 2:03:16 PM
Author: Mrs.soontobealfonzo
The star of this post is here

. lol

My My My where do I begin. I just want to clarity a couple of things that bothered me. First off let it be known that I adore my fiance. The proposal I got was so out of this world that I would have been happy with him just asking me. I am truly happy that I found a man that loves me deeply, and will do anything to put a smile on my face no matter what. He and I are very successful ,and we would never make any purchase that we couldn't afford. We dont have any dept whats so ever. Second what is up with throwing in the fact that my ring is clarity enhanced. what does that have to do with anything? It's still a REAL DIAMOND? and that comment is just catty.

I live in new york, and work on Park Avenue.Size does matter here. I dont write here to have problems with anyone, and I dont want people to dislike me for just asking for an opionions and venting. I thought this is what this forum is for.

Some of you wrote some nasty things

, but I must say its been very entertaining.

If that's what you believe, there will be no end to the envy (as a NY resident myself, I've been visited by the

one too many times). If you can afford the perpetual upgrading, good for you. That said, please remember that not everyone is as fortunate as you are.

Amen Harriet!

NYer here, born and raised.

(That just means you are trying to keep up with the Rockefellers not the Joneses...

)

Try working with high level jewlers where half your social group are diamantaires. Try working on Fifth Avenue across the street from the diamond district. Try having friends who own pieces that are not only LARGE but former pieces owned by royalty or notable historical families, handed down from generations. And yet I don't get JEALOUS, just impressed, so I aks to study their pieces! And the classiest thing (and people) are the ones who have items of unestimatable value and don't show it. THAT is what it means to have class, down to the shoes on your feet. That's elegance, not some big tacky "bling" that is conspicuously flashed.

With jealousy and one-upsmanship, you are chasing your tail. You will never get what you want if you always want more. Good luck with your upcoming wedding, and I wish that you find happiness in whatever it is that works for you. I give up.

No more preaching, I'm done.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/19/2007 3:41:49 PM
Author: Nicrez
I give up.

No more preaching, I''m done.

I really enjoy your wisdom... I wish you wouldn''t stop

 

[togal]

Date: 4/19/2007 3:41:49 PM
Author: Nicrez

Date: 4/19/2007 3:16:55 PM
Author: Harriet

Date: 4/19/2007 2:03:16 PM
Author: Mrs.soontobealfonzo
The star of this post is here

. lol

My My My where do I begin. I just want to clarity a couple of things that bothered me. First off let it be known that I adore my fiance. The proposal I got was so out of this world that I would have been happy with him just asking me. I am truly happy that I found a man that loves me deeply, and will do anything to put a smile on my face no matter what. He and I are very successful ,and we would never make any purchase that we couldn''t afford. We dont have any dept whats so ever. Second what is up with throwing in the fact that my ring is clarity enhanced. what does that have to do with anything? It''s still a REAL DIAMOND? and that comment is just catty.

I live in new york, and work on Park Avenue.Size does matter here. I dont write here to have problems with anyone, and I dont want people to dislike me for just asking for an opionions and venting. I thought this is what this forum is for.

Some of you wrote some nasty things

, but I must say its been very entertaining.

If that''s what you believe, there will be no end to the envy (as a NY resident myself, I''ve been visited by the

one too many times). If you can afford the perpetual upgrading, good for you. That said, please remember that not everyone is as fortunate as you are.

Amen Harriet!

NYer here, born and raised.

(That just means you are trying to keep up with the Rockefellers not the Joneses...

)

Try working with high level jewlers where half your social group are diamantaires. Try working on Fifth Avenue across the street from the diamond district. Try having friends who own pieces that are not only LARGE but former pieces owned by royalty or notable historical families, handed down from generations. And yet I don''t get JEALOUS, just impressed, so I aks to study their pieces! And the classiest thing (and people) are the ones who have items of unestimatable value and don''t show it. THAT is what it means to have class, down to the shoes on your feet. That''s elegance, not some big tacky ''bling'' that is conspicuously flashed.

With jealousy and one-upsmanship, you are chasing your tail. You will never get what you want if you always want more. Good luck with your upcoming wedding, and I wish that you find happiness in whatever it is that works for you. I give up.

No more preaching, I''m done.

Okay, so I said I wouldn''t return to this thread...I''m still here....so sue me!

LOL

Nicrez (and others from NY)...I''m going to be in NY on vacation in a few weeks and I hope you can give me your opinion on a couple of questions I have about traveling to NY. (sorry to hijack this thread...but at this point, I''m not sure it matters). Anyway, I''m debating about whether or not to take some of my diamond jewellery with me on this trip. My husband says YES (actually, he said that the theives in NY have bigger fish to fry then me!

) -- we are staying at Sofitel, which is in a decent area with an in-room safe. I likely wouldn''t wear much jewellery during the day, but in the evening we have arranged plans at a few swanky night spots (Beleman''s at the Carlyle, Feinstein''s, etc), as well, we''re taking a cruise to Bermuda -- so I don''t want to be without some bling....but I''ve also read on travel sites never to bring expensive jewellery while vacationing in NY (my husband will be the one waving his map in the middle of Times Square!

). What do you recommend? Am I just being paranoid? If I take the normal commen-sense precautions, ie, don''t walk down a barren street late at night, etc., should I be fine?

Also, what should I know about shopping at the diamond district. I usually purchase a piece of nice jewellery when on vacation, but I admit to being a little nervous about shopping here at the actual jewellery exchange. Do you have any tips for me? Thanks...

 

[cutes814]

replying to the OP''s question.

yes, i do get a tad envious when i see the beautiful upgrades here! especially mara''s!!!

but in time, it''ll happen for me too. good things are worth waiting for.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 4/19/2007 12:39:00 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

it sure is!!! I thought you were under 40

I think back then it was different though - I don't think there was so much pressure to have a large diamond... just a symbolic one. By the time I got married there might have been more pressure to have a carat or so in certain groups, but I was young and not in that group. I would have been thrilled with 1/4 carat. 1/2 carat was a dream stone.

But nowadays, kids, jr high and high KIDS are wearing fake sets, adults are wearing fake rings that look amazing, everyone's going for big big big and it is setting a certain style threshold, even if they aren't real. And those of us who DO want real diamonds then either have to go with 'Yeah mine isn't that big but it's *real* (which doesn't go very far unless you actually go around *saying* that lol) or to go for broke and get a bigger stone. I'm not really talking about any of us so much as what MIGHT be going through the heads of those who are young and entering the engagement arena during the 'bling' era LOL It might very well be a pressure that we are oblivious to because we're too far removed.

Gee Cehra, if I didn't feel old before, I do now. lmao!!

I know you didn't mean it like that. Funny. (and I'm glad you thought I was younger, I feel younger

)


And yeah, like I said, things are definitely different now. And not for the better imo.

 

[lumpkin]

Date: 4/19/2007 2:03:16 PM
Author: Mrs.soontobealfonzo
The star of this post is here

. lol

My My My where do I begin. I just want to clarity a couple of things that bothered me. First off let it be known that I adore my fiance. The proposal I got was so out of this world that I would have been happy with him just asking me. I am truly happy that I found a man that loves me deeply, and will do anything to put a smile on my face no matter what. He and I are very successful ,and we would never make any purchase that we couldn''t afford. We dont have any dept whats so ever. Second what is up with throwing in the fact that my ring is clarity enhanced. what does that have to do with anything? It''s still a REAL DIAMOND? and that comment is just catty.

I live in new york, and work on Park Avenue. Size does matter here. I dont write here to have problems with anyone, and I dont want people to dislike me for just asking for an opionions and venting. I thought this is what this forum is for.

Some of you wrote some nasty things

, but I must say its been very entertaining.

You certainly don''t need to apologize to me, I thought your post was lighthearted and self depricating, LOL! It seemed to me you were poking fun at yourself.

I agree with Cehra, this post took on a life of its own so even though it seems really personal, try not to take it that way. Whenever the discussion turns to diamonds/value/symbolism/status/class it gets rather heated. I don''t understand why we can''t get past the fact that everyone here is from very diverse backgrounds, cultures, and yes, classes, and quit projecting our own nonsense onto others, but I''ll admit I''ve occasionally felt my buttons pushed and projected some of my own nonsense. It happens.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/19/2007 6:30:41 PM
Author: lumpkin

I agree with Cehra, this post took on a life of its own so even though it seems really personal, try not to take it that way. Whenever the discussion turns to diamonds/value/symbolism/status/class it gets rather heated. I don''t understand why we can''t get past the fact that everyone here is from very diverse backgrounds, cultures, and yes, classes, and quit projecting our own nonsense onto others, but I''ll admit I''ve occasionally felt my buttons pushed and projected some of my own nonsense. It happens.

I do too, it''s also interesting I think. I mean the whole status/class thing alone is fascinating. I know I don''t want anyone kicking me down and yet I don''t want to be above anyone else so there''s this dance that I do with myself to stay in balance. The desire for humility is in total opposition with wearing an almost 3 carat stone and I just have to accept my hypocrisy. I think each of us is hypocritical in *some* way or another... I don''t think, as humans, we can really avoid that. I want a bumper sticker that says "embrace hypocrisy" because I think its true LOL The whole do as I say, not as I do... the very common assumption that everyone else in the world would be better off if they were just like ME... talk about the environment vs the reality of how we live... who ISN''T a hypocrite about something? It isn''t that I think it is a good thing, I just think it is a human thing and first things first we have to be honest about that. You can''t be up on a pedestal and yet equal to everyone else at the same time. Or rather if everyone were on a pedestal, what makes being on a pedestal so special? And if you really insist on living life on a pedestal, does that really make you better? Or just standing on a box to artificially boost yourself above everyone else? Are we all equal? or does class and status REALLY matter? What am I telling the world with my diamond? Does it really matter? I get way too philosophical about this stuff LOL

If I''m super honest with myself, I am MUCH more at peace with just my plain gold band. It says everything I need it to say and it says nothing more than that. But I *like* my diamond. I *love* my diamond. It means so much to me. A part of me wishes I could just leave it on a stand by my desk to look at and play with but no one else would ever see it or know about it... and on the other hand, what is wrong with sharing it? It is beautiful and beauty should be shared, not hidden. I think when you go about life and those pangs of "this (car house ring boat haircut set of new boobs whatever) makes me feel just a little better than someone else" you should evaluate why you feel the need to feel better than them. I remember when I was young I was SOOO hot. I mean really. Complete narcissist as well LOL And I walked into rooms and felt gloriously beautiful and spitefully jealous if there was someone prettier there. Horrible stuff! Well, I''m humbled now... that body is gone, the face has been replaced with adult acne, wrinkles, blotches, thinning hair... and now what, am I less? No! Fact is I was never *more*. Just false bravado we use to get through whatever it is we get through. In my case it was adolescence LOL I admit I''m nervous to wear a ring that could so easily be brandished as status rather than pure and simple beauty, but it''s a challenge I feel up to Honestly, when I was younger I don''t think I could have wielded that power so modestly.

Gosh, does any of this make sense? Sometimes I just wander LOL

 

[threepwood]

Date: 4/18/2007 11:14:27 PM
Author: Harriet

Date: 4/18/2007 10:03:56 AM

Author: Mrs.soontobealfonzo

ok ok I see I offend some people, and I do apologize. My wording wasnt right.


Sorry Girls

I''m not offended. I myself am frequently prone to envy. But, when the green-eyed monster visits, I try to stop and think of those less lucky.


Ursula,

That''s why I refer to New York as ''Planet Manhattan.''

I have to agree with Harriet.. I do get prone to ring envy but whenever that happanes I always think of other ppl who are not as lucky as me.. That really helps alot.. Mrs.soontobealfonzo, maybe u could try doing that too..

 

[lumpkin]

Date: 4/19/2007 7:59:31 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 4/19/2007 6:30:41 PM
Author: lumpkin

I agree with Cehra, this post took on a life of its own so even though it seems really personal, try not to take it that way. Whenever the discussion turns to diamonds/value/symbolism/status/class it gets rather heated. I don''t understand why we can''t get past the fact that everyone here is from very diverse backgrounds, cultures, and yes, classes, and quit projecting our own nonsense onto others, but I''ll admit I''ve occasionally felt my buttons pushed and projected some of my own nonsense. It happens.

I do too, it''s also interesting I think. I mean the whole status/class thing alone is fascinating. I know I don''t want anyone kicking me down and yet I don''t want to be above anyone else so there''s this dance that I do with myself to stay in balance. The desire for humility is in total opposition with wearing an almost 3 carat stone and I just have to accept my hypocrisy. I think each of us is hypocritical in *some* way or another... I don''t think, as humans, we can really avoid that. I want a bumper sticker that says ''embrace hypocrisy'' because I think its true LOL The whole do as I say, not as I do... the very common assumption that everyone else in the world would be better off if they were just like ME... talk about the environment vs the reality of how we live... who ISN''T a hypocrite about something? It isn''t that I think it is a good thing, I just think it is a human thing and first things first we have to be honest about that. You can''t be up on a pedestal and yet equal to everyone else at the same time. Or rather if everyone were on a pedestal, what makes being on a pedestal so special? And if you really insist on living life on a pedestal, does that really make you better? Or just standing on a box to artificially boost yourself above everyone else? Are we all equal? or does class and status REALLY matter? What am I telling the world with my diamond? Does it really matter? I get way too philosophical about this stuff LOL

If I''m super honest with myself, I am MUCH more at peace with just my plain gold band. It says everything I need it to say and it says nothing more than that. But I *like* my diamond. I *love* my diamond. It means so much to me. A part of me wishes I could just leave it on a stand by my desk to look at and play with but no one else would ever see it or know about it... and on the other hand, what is wrong with sharing it? It is beautiful and beauty should be shared, not hidden. I think when you go about life and those pangs of ''this (car house ring boat haircut set of new boobs whatever) makes me feel just a little better than someone else'' you should evaluate why you feel the need to feel better than them. I remember when I was young I was SOOO hot. I mean really. Complete narcissist as well LOL And I walked into rooms and felt gloriously beautiful and spitefully jealous if there was someone prettier there. Horrible stuff! Well, I''m humbled now... that body is gone, the face has been replaced with adult acne, wrinkles, blotches, thinning hair... and now what, am I less? No! Fact is I was never *more*. Just false bravado we use to get through whatever it is we get through. In my case it was adolescence LOL I admit I''m nervous to wear a ring that could so easily be brandished as status rather than pure and simple beauty, but it''s a challenge I feel up to Honestly, when I was younger I don''t think I could have wielded that power so modestly.

Gosh, does any of this make sense? Sometimes I just wander LOL

I love that bumper sticker!!! Your wanderings in this post echo my own feelings on the matter.

 

[InlovewithJHK]

Date: 4/19/2007 4:13:58 PM
Author: togal

Date: 4/19/2007 3:41:49 PM

Author: Nicrez

Date: 4/19/2007 3:16:55 PM

Author: Harriet

Date: 4/19/2007 2:03:16 PM

Author: Mrs.soontobealfonzo

The star of this post is here

. lol


My My My where do I begin. I just want to clarity a couple of things that bothered me. First off let it be known that I adore my fiance. The proposal I got was so out of this world that I would have been happy with him just asking me. I am truly happy that I found a man that loves me deeply, and will do anything to put a smile on my face no matter what. He and I are very successful ,and we would never make any purchase that we couldn''t afford. We dont have any dept whats so ever. Second what is up with throwing in the fact that my ring is clarity enhanced. what does that have to do with anything? It''s still a REAL DIAMOND? and that comment is just catty.


I live in new york, and work on Park Avenue.Size does matter here. I dont write here to have problems with anyone, and I dont want people to dislike me for just asking for an opionions and venting. I thought this is what this forum is for.


Some of you wrote some nasty things

, but I must say its been very entertaining.

If that''s what you believe, there will be no end to the envy (as a NY resident myself, I''ve been visited by the

one too many times). If you can afford the perpetual upgrading, good for you. That said, please remember that not everyone is as fortunate as you are.

Amen Harriet!


NYer here, born and raised.

(That just means you are trying to keep up with the Rockefellers not the Joneses...

)


Try working with high level jewlers where half your social group are diamantaires. Try working on Fifth Avenue across the street from the diamond district. Try having friends who own pieces that are not only LARGE but former pieces owned by royalty or notable historical families, handed down from generations. And yet I don''t get JEALOUS, just impressed, so I aks to study their pieces! And the classiest thing (and people) are the ones who have items of unestimatable value and don''t show it. THAT is what it means to have class, down to the shoes on your feet. That''s elegance, not some big tacky ''bling'' that is conspicuously flashed.


With jealousy and one-upsmanship, you are chasing your tail. You will never get what you want if you always want more. Good luck with your upcoming wedding, and I wish that you find happiness in whatever it is that works for you. I give up.

No more preaching, I''m done.

Okay, so I said I wouldn''t return to this thread...I''m still here....so sue me!

LOL


Nicrez (and others from NY)...I''m going to be in NY on vacation in a few weeks and I hope you can give me your opinion on a couple of questions I have about traveling to NY. (sorry to hijack this thread...but at this point, I''m not sure it matters). Anyway, I''m debating about whether or not to take some of my diamond jewellery with me on this trip. My husband says YES (actually, he said that the theives in NY have bigger fish to fry then me!

) -- we are staying at Sofitel, which is in a decent area with an in-room safe. I likely wouldn''t wear much jewellery during the day, but in the evening we have arranged plans at a few swanky night spots (Beleman''s at the Carlyle, Feinstein''s, etc), as well, we''re taking a cruise to Bermuda -- so I don''t want to be without some bling....but I''ve also read on travel sites never to bring expensive jewellery while vacationing in NY (my husband will be the one waving his map in the middle of Times Square!

). What do you recommend? Am I just being paranoid? If I take the normal commen-sense precautions, ie, don''t walk down a barren street late at night, etc., should I be fine?


Also, what should I know about shopping at the diamond district. I usually purchase a piece of nice jewellery when on vacation, but I admit to being a little nervous about shopping here at the actual jewellery exchange. Do you have any tips for me? Thanks...

Hi! I''m from New Jersey but live in New York and I would say that you can wear your diamonds here! I don''t want to tell you to do anything that you aren''t comfortable with but I have always worn my diamonds in New York and never get so much as a second glance at my rings! I would be a little careful wearing it on certain subway systems (I flip my ring around if I feel a bit uneasy) but even then, i think i''m just being paranoid. Especially if you stay in nice areas and are with your husband, you really should be fine. Oh btw, my husband lived in Hell''s Kitchen (near time square) before we were married and I still always wore my diamond there. Just my opinion
I

 

[InlovewithJHK]

OH! About the diamond district, I actually bought my wedding ring there and there are some nice vendors, but DON''T GO ON A SATURDAY! Most of the people who run the stores are Hassidic and they won''t be open. I made that mistake. Also, some people who do more serious shopping than me can give you some pointers on where exactly to go. If i''m not mistaken, i think some pricescope vendors are based out of that area.

 

[vespergirl]

In mrssoontobe''s defense, maybe she needs a fellow asscher owner to sympathize. I got engaged to my wonderful husband last year, after 2 years together, when we found out that I was unexpectedly, and somewhat miraculously pregnant. He was delighted as soon as he found out, and said, tomorrow we''re going to buy a ring!

He took me to the diamond store, and was looking at 2 ct rounds. I have always liked asschers though, and since my finger size is a 5, I liked the look of the 1.5 carat rounds that he had me try on on my hand better than the 2 cts, which seemed a little large for me.

I picked out a 1.5 ct asscher, but he thought it looked smaller than what he would have picked, so he picked out a 1.64 carat that he had set in the ring. We didn''t have time to look around or do any research, because our wedding was going to be in only 6 weeks!

When I got the ring, I thought it looked smaller than the 1.5 ct princesses and rounds that my friends had, by quite a bit, and in fact, when I held it next to it, was the exact same size facing up as a 1 ct round. Around my fiancee, a few people mentioned that my ring looked like it was "almost a carat," and that bothered him because he had really splurged on it.

Then I got on PS, did some research, and realized that not only do asschers face up smaller, but at a 75% depth, mine was REALLY deep. When we decided on the 1.5 ct size, we were actually thinking something with at least a 7 mm spread. Mine was only about 6.2, and looked much smaller.

So, we brought the diamond back, and exchanged it for a larger asscher that has the same spread as about a 1.5 ct RB.

Don''t get me wrong, I was absolutely delighted with any ring, but my husband really wanted to get me a big ring, and it annoyed him to think he had spent so much money on something that didn''t seem as impressive because of a poor cut, so we upgraded before the wedding. When we swapped it, I looked at RBs again and almost got one of those (they really were his favorite) but I really loved the cut of the asscher, so we just had to get a larger one to get the spread that looked best on my finger.

All I''m saying is, I think the size envy goes a little farther in asscher owners because are stones really are smaller!

 

[Mrs.soontobealfonzo]

Vespergirl,

Yeah I do want a large size, but cant part with the shape.

So you just upgraded the size on your asscher? To how many carats ? Are you happy with the size now ? Lets say I were to get a 3ct asscher would it look more like 2.5 ?

How do you ask for a wider spread? Can you really request it ? I do want something larger, but not pretendous. I''m Just a Executive Assistant at a Hedge Fund.

 

[decodelighted]

There are charts out there to tell for sure ... but to my eye:

2 carat round = 3 carat asscher
3 carat round = 5 carat asscher

 

[chrono]

Date: 4/20/2007 10:44:20 AM
Author: Mrs.soontobealfonzo
Vespergirl,

Yeah I do want a large size, but cant part with the shape.

So you just upgraded the size on your asscher? To how many carats ? Are you happy with the size now ? Lets say I were to get a 3ct asscher would it look more like 2.5 ?

How do you ask for a wider spread? Can you really request it ? I do want something larger, but not pretendous. I''m Just a Executive Assistant at a Hedge Fund.

To get a larger spread, just look for asschers that aren''t too deep. Stay under 70%. However, if the stone is too shallow, then you will not get the wonderful deep pool effect and fire that asschers are all about. It''s all a balance in the cut specifications.

 

[vespergirl]

Hi mrssoontobe, decodelighted is right - a 3 carat asscher is about 8 mm spread, which is what you get from a 2 ct round. At first it bothered me that my ring "faced up" smaller than the rounds (not to mention my friend''s 1 ct oval that dwarfs them all!) We finally found a 2.2 ct asscher that is 7.2 x 7.1 mm, and it looks perfect on my hand. My current stone is about 69% depth. I would have liked something with a 65% depth, but our diamond dealer didn''t have any available, and we needed a new stone in time for the wedding!

But ultimately, you have to decide what size mm spread looks best on your finger, and go with that if you want to stay with an asscher shape. Asschers also tend to look smaller because they don''t reflect as much white light as RBs. But, I get so many compliments on my asscher for it''s uniqueness - in fact, two of my friends who got engaged this year both got asschers after they saw mine!

Also, asschers are less expensive than RBs per carat weight, so he spent for the 2.2 ct asscher what he probably would have spent on a 1.5 - 1.75 ct RB.

All in all, you definitely have to love the asscher shape to keep it. I love step cuts so much, but also the square shape, which is why I had to have an asscher. I flirted with getting a Lucere or emerald-cut instead, but when I held them next to the asscher, the asscher just felt more like "me." I can stare into the steps all day long

If you think the smaller face-up size is going to bother you, though, you may want to look at other shapes. Maybe an EC or square H&A? I think they may face up bigger ...