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Mrs.soontobealfonzo

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I went to get my nails done yesterday, and here come this women maybe late 20''''s with a hug rock. I couldn''''t stop staring then comparing it to mine. My rock started to look like a pebble. I went home, and told my fiance I was jealous and all he did was laugh. He told me that my upgrade was part of the budget for the wedding and not to worry. You''''ll get 3ct on our wedding day. I now have two amazing things to look forward too. Making alex my husband and having a huge rock to show the world how much I mean to him. I guess im a bit spoiled but he did this to me. Oh by the way my asscher is a medium size. E vs1 1.55ct at 25 isnt bad right?

Has anyone ever gotten jealous of a big rock, then got an upgrade right after, and if so how did it feel when you did? Did you just want to go bigger ? I hope when I get the size of my dreams ill be satisfied.
 

lumpkin

Ideal_Rock
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I''ve had size envy! I got it BAD. Then I got a big rock and found that there were hardly any people in my circles with anything REMOTELY as big as mine and I got really self conscious about it, like I was one of "those" women, LOL! I ended up trading it for a better diamond that was a lot smaller. Now, I really would rather have a big rock, but for only myself to look at. I don''t like the kind of attention I got when I wore the big one. But that''s my area only, and if I lived somewhere where big rocks were more the norm, I''d wear one in a sec!

So are you changing shapes or just size?
 

Ellen

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I personally don't think the size of the rock has anything to do with showing how much he cares. I think it shows how much he's willing (or is able) to let fly out of his wallet.



I have never been jealous of bigger rocks (although looking at my SIL's eventually made me want a bigger stone than my very small stone), and I'm perfectly content with my upgrade. This is it.
 

asscherisme

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Wow, your rock is HUGE for your age! My original ring (I was engaged at 25) was .80ct! And its 12 years later and I''m still wearing it!! I am in the market for an upgrade to a 1.5ct or close to it. 1.5 is above the average. It also depends on where you live, different areas have different ideas of whats the norm.

Don''t be jealous! Its a useless emotion and all it does is make you not appreciate what you have.
 

Mrs.soontobealfonzo

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Lupkin- I will just be change the size, as per my fiances request. Plus it''s the shape he proposed with and cant part with it.

Amylikesrocks- your right about jealously, but I think its a human emotion that we cant deny. I think we all hate feeling it, but it happens. Just be classy about it lol
 

littlelysser

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First off - a 1.5 carat diamond is not medium sized...it is a nice sized stone and well above the average carat weight in the us. Why do you need us to tell you it is an alright size? It is your engagement ring.

Second - gotta say - if you compare yourself to other people and what they have - well, chances are you are not ever going to be satisfied, because someone will always have a bigger diamond and more money.

Third - I see you have an asscher and are getting another asscher. Asschers tend to look small for their carat weight. A three carat asscher is not going to be a big old rock. A round or an oval would look much bigger. If you are so concerned with size and apparently presenting a certain image, and wanting to show how much your FI loves you because of how big the rock is, well, then, an asscher is not a good choice.
 

Harriet

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Date: 4/18/2007 9:49:58 AM
Author:Mrs.soontobealfonzo
I went to get my nails done yesterday, and here come this women maybe late 20''s with a hug rock. I couldn''t stop staring then comparing it to mine. My rock started to look like a pebble. I went home, and told my fiance I was jealous and all he did was laugh. He told me that my upgrade was part of the budget for the wedding and not to worry. You''ll get 3ct on our wedding day. I now have two amazing things to look forward too. Making alex my husband and having a huge rock to show the world how much I mean to him. I guess im a bit spoiled but he did this to me. Oh by the way my asscher is a medium size. E vs1 1.55ct at 25 isnt bad right?

Has anyone ever gotten jealous of a big rock, then got an upgrade right after, and if so how did it feel when you did? Did you just want to go bigger ? I hope when I get the size of my dreams ill be satisfied.
I don''t mean to be rude, but what is the point of this question?
 

neatfreak

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I have to agree with both littlelysser and harriet. My engagement ring is only .81, does that mean that my fiance only loves me 1/2 as much? No, it means we have different priorities!
 

asscherisme

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I agree with you 100% neatfreak.

My engagement ring size is not a reflection on how much my husband means to me. Its a reflection that we started our life wanting to save for a home and pay off his student debts. Yes, 12 years later, I''m in the market for a new ring but its not going to replace my engagment ring. Its going to be a ring I''m going to wear on my right hand.
 

snuga

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Date: 4/18/2007 9:46:51 AM
Author: littlelysser
First off - a 1.5 carat diamond is not medium sized...it is a nice sized stone and well above the average carat weight in the us. Why do you need us to tell you it is an alright size? It is your engagement ring.

Second - gotta say - if you compare yourself to other people and what they have - well, chances are you are not ever going to be satisfied, because someone will always have a bigger diamond and more money.

Third - I see you have an asscher and are getting another asscher. Asschers tend to look small for their carat weight. A three carat asscher is not going to be a big old rock. A round or an oval would look much bigger. If you are so concerned with size and apparently presenting a certain image, and wanting to show how much your FI loves you because of how big the rock is, well, then, an asscher is not a good choice.
I have to agree with littlelysser here. I don''t know how long you have been engaged, or when your wedding is... but it seems like it is really soon to get an upgrade. Especially when you are upgrading from a 1.5c ring, which is a nice sized ring. When you get your 3ct, will you be happy with that? Do you think you will want another upgrade so soon down the road?

There will always be something bigger and better out there, at some point you just have to be grateful for what you have.

I think everyone knows you weren''t trying to offend, but some of the words came out kind of bad...
 

Lorelei

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You have plenty of time over many years to get an upgrade, your Asscher is a great size too. Why not wait and enjoy this ring you are so lucky to have now, then upgrade perhaps after you are married for an anniversary etc? Bear in mind that there will always be someone with a bigger rock than yours most probably, so wait a while and decide what would really make you happy, then make the upgrade count. You already have a diamond that many women would kill for, enjoy it, especially as your fiance bought it for you with love, when he asked you to be his wife. Honestly, you will have plenty of time in the future for more diamonds.
 

Nicrez

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Dear Mrs.Soontobealfonzo,

If a large diamond is a pre-requisite for love, then I suggest more women do what Anna Nicole (God rest her soul) did, and marry a nice old man who has lots of it. Find out what is most important to you and find it in your mate. If his ability to buy you things is high on your list, find a man to take care of you. But don''t call it love, because that can never be bought or sold. That is called an arrangement of mutual convenience.

If you find yourself wanting what someone else has, that means you are not happy with what you have. What does your enagement ring symbolize to you? Wealth and prosperity or a commitment? If it''s just a piece of jewelery to show the world, then by all means get the biggest one you can find or afford at your age. People will likely respect and envy you when your diamond is larger than theirs. That is only if they are just as unhappy as you were.

But if your ring is meant to be a symbol of commitment and love, then don''t disparage it by "upgrading" and putting it down, before you are even married no less?! It took hard work to get you the ring I am sure, and in all honesty, in the grand scheme of things a ring can get lost, stolen, or destroyed, but the most important thing is that it should never happen to your love for the man who cared enough to even ask you.

I just find this one-upsmanship attitude in engagement rings really horrible. Just buy more jewlery, or clothes to show off, but leave your engagement ring out of it. That explains the 2ct+ Bort on a Band I see everywhere now...


I''m sorry to sound rude, but it wasn''t how you wrote what you wrote, it''s actually WHAT you wrote that upset me. It''s your life, so live it as you wish, but just be forewarned that envy happens only when you are not happy. Fix that, and you won''t feel envy almost ever again. I hope you find happiness in whatever it is that is important to you, truely.
 

diamondfan

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Jun 17, 2005
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11,016
Mrs Soontobe, you are young and I am sure having a bigger diamond seems to mean a lot in terms of having more than other people. You are not even married and he is already budgeting to upgrade your stone?!

I have a large stone, but I was 35 when I got my first upgrade and 40 when I got this one. I got engaged with a 1.53 carat stone and wore it for ten years. I think it is beyond silly, even if you have the money, to upgrade on your wedding day. Leave something to look forward to in life.

A bigger stone does not mean more love, at all. Just means more money at the time or more willingness to spend it on a stone.
 

lumpkin

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May 24, 2005
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This board is upgrade heaven. I''ve seen several posts where people got upgrades before the wedding, changed settings, changed shapes, etc., and no one flamed them. Why are ya whompin'' on this gal??? If she wants a bigger diamond, why is that offensive???

Okay, Mrssoontobe, I''ll agree with the others on this point: the size of your diamond is not a measure of how much your husband loves you. But if you want a bigger diamond and he is all for that, and you are both comfortable with that, go for it, and POST PICTURES!!!
 

scarleta

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Joined
Feb 25, 2006
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After 10 ( or so years ) you won''t remember the rock.The size of it has absolutely nothing to do with his care.Let him care for you his own way and down the road if it makes you happy you can get a big rock for yourself if you start saving now you may be able to get even bigger one that the one you saw.No I never get envious for anyone''s rock.I feel happy for them if it makes them happy why not.Wishing you lots of luck...
 

Madam Bijoux

Ideal_Rock
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Rule number 1: Never turn down an offer of an upgrade, especially on your wedding day.


I love to see other people's jewelry, and I have never been envious of it. When I see someone wearing something I admire, I try to get something similar. There's nothing wrong with wanting more and bigger, but be warned: If you become a collector, you will never be done


I say get your upgrade and wear it with joy - life is too short to wait for anything.
 

Ellen

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Date: 4/18/2007 11:01:49 AM
Author: lumpkin
This board is upgrade heaven. I've seen several posts where people got upgrades before the wedding, changed settings, changed shapes, etc., and no one flamed them. Why are ya whompin' on this gal??? If she wants a bigger diamond, why is that offensive???

Okay, Mrssoontobe, I'll agree with the others on this point: the size of your diamond is not a measure of how much your husband loves you. But if you want a bigger diamond and he is all for that, and you are both comfortable with that, go for it, and POST PICTURES!!!
Lump, I'll only speak for myself, but others may agree.

I didn't really have a problem with wanting a bigger stone (as you said, lots do), it's what appeared to be equating the amount of love with the size of the stone. The two are not related imo.

And I hope I didn't appear to be "whompin" her, that was not my intent.
 

littlelysser

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Not trying to flame anyone...I just think it was an odd post and people are responding to it and it isn''t about upgrading, really.

Wanting to upgrade - totally fine with me. I''d LOVE a 4 carat asscher. But it doesn''t seem like that is what this post was about.

Just seemed like a strange post...kind of bragging about the size/clarity/color of her current ering but then saying it was too small. Talking about being spoiled and that it was the FI''s fault. Just seemed disingenuous or something...and it was odd to equate how much FI loves you with the size of the rock.

She talked of wanting to be satisfied, but comparing her diamond with others.

And the point about the fact that a three carat asscher isn''t going to be a big rock...well that is true.
 

NYCsparkle

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Joined
Jul 23, 2006
Messages
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someone will ALWAYS have one bigger than yours somewhere---especially here. size jealousy is really a product of pricescope---lol
. husbands should ban it from their homes...or at least mine should.
 

crown1

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Nov 22, 2006
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hi soontobe! although i don''t necessarily agree with everything you posted i think you were responded to in a very negative and judgmental way. i am sorry that you were measured, in my opinion, by a different stick than others on the board. i think whatever you and your guy work out is between the two of you. the only thing i can say is i don''t think jealousy is ever classy. i agree it is a human emotion but nothing classy about it.
 

lumpkin

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Ellen and Littlelysser, just trying to lighten up the thread. It was beginning to feel way too serious.
I guess I'm having an Aspie moment. I just didn't get anything heavy out of her post...thought she was kind of laughing at herself??? Call me shallow, but I've had diamond envy, so I can relate.


ETA: OH, and my diamond envy actually occured when I worked as a nail tech, so I even further relate to the OP! Gosh I saw some huge rocks on some of my clients!
 

Skippy123

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Mrs. S can we see your ring; I don't think I have seen it. I went to look for it but can't find a pic. It sounds very pretty!
 

Giada

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Ms. S.

I too am dying to see your ring!

Are you still considering keeping it and buying another ring for yourself as you alluded to in this the thread entitled "Is it crazy if I buy another E-ring for myself ?"
"Dont get me wrong I love the one my fiance proposed with. thats why I dont want to upgrade it, But it would be fun to have another one in a different shape and size. Has anyone done this or am i the only crazy one? "

Perhaps you could just purchase a larger stone for yourself and wear it as a rhr.
 

allycat0303

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Not trying to flame anyone...I just think it was an odd post and people are responding to it and it isn't about upgrading, really.



Wanting to upgrade - totally fine with me. I'd LOVE a 4 carat asscher. But it doesn't seem like that is what this post was about.



Just seemed like a strange post...kind of bragging about the size/clarity/color of her current ering but then saying it was too small. Talking about being spoiled and that it was the FI's fault. Just seemed disingenuous or something...and it was odd to equate how much FI loves you with the size of the rock.



She talked of wanting to be satisfied, but comparing her diamond with others.



And the point about the fact that a three carat asscher isn't going to be a big rock...well that is true.








-
What the world needs now are some true words of wisdom like la la la la la la la la la la.


Littlelysser, what are we mind twins? That's the exact thing I got from this post (and other posts in the past too)

 

angeline

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I have to say that I think people sometimes get a little hasty in making judgements about other people from little words on the screen. Sometimes our written words don''t really express what we mean to express. Even if we think they sound right to us, others will interpret from their own experience which is always different to our own, and may draw wildly different conclusions to what we intended.

MrsS actually apologised for her wording and said it didn''t come out right. Lets not over-analyze each other to death? lets have fun


a
 

Cehrabehra

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Date: 4/18/2007 9:15:56 AM
Author: Ellen
I personally don''t think the size of the rock has anything to do with showing how much he cares. I think it shows how much he''s willing (or is able) to let fly out of his wallet.
Exactly what I was thinking except I was thinking how much he''s able (or willing) to let fly LOL!!!


I have been wearing a random apricot colored gem that is 8x10 on my left hand so I can get used to it and NOT bang it on things before I get my stone that is just slightly smaller. It doesn''t even look big on my hand. I think I''ll be able to wear my stone without drawing a lot of attention just because of the ring and my hand all looking in proportion. I put the stone on my daughter''s size 5 finger and it''s HUGE. I just can''t believe some of you women have hands smaller than my 12 year olds LOL And she''s skinny!
 

Mara

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random Q but mrs soontobe, how old are you? i always get this young vibe from your posts and if that is the case then maybe that's why sometimes things come off sounding a little off. i hate going 'oh when you get older you will...' because when people did that to me i was like 'HEY what do you mean, i don't act young' but AS i am getting older i DO see that many times wisdom and the 'right' thing to say often comes more with age. hehe. now whether or not you decide to say the 'right' thing varies, hee hee. (eta doh i see you are 25...okay makes sense...i do think in about 5-10 years or less maybe you won't even care what others think or have that you dont!)

of course as bling lovers i think it's human nature to be like dayam hers is huge..and kind of look at yours and go hhmm. i am a size whore and i got i think what, like 3 upgrades to get to where i am now in the space of less than 2 years of marriage. but i'm happy with what i have now and part of that is that it's 'big enough' for me to be happy (i don't really care what others think, it's all about ME! hahaa) and also anything larger would cost significantly more and might not be 'visually' worth it. so who knows, maybe someday i will upgrade, probably since i am, again, a size whore, but i am really happy with my diamond right now. and i am not planning anything for at least a few years, hehee. i have other diamond fish to fry (and other life priorities).

it's easy to get caught up in 'oh mine is smaller than hers' on here and also out in the world but in general that's just LIFE. everyone is always going to have something bigger, better, nicer than you. you can't really compare yourself to others and REALLY be like 'oh why don't *I* have that'...sure we all may think it from time to time but i don't know many that actually make life decisions on it or give it that importance.

how lucky you will have a 3c rock when you get married but your diamond now is no slouch as others have pointed out.
 

belle

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will the new ''upgrade'' be clarity enhanced like your current diamond or is that part of the reason you want to make a change?
 

allycat0303

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Angeline, I DEFINITELY think it''s possible to make different interpretations of wordings. Actually, in my case, I thought the same thing as littlelysser, based on a lot of things I''ve read in the poster''s other threads/posts. But I don''t think it was flame of anything, just an opinon. I don''t think the thread is about upgrading, the poster addressed this issue in another thread. It seemed to me to be about whether or not she should be happy with her ring.

And if based upon whether the ring is a reflection of how much her fiance loved her. Which I can see why people would be offended by that comment.

And if I''m correct a few people are offended with the precieving boasting of the stats E, VS1 as being not bad (especially in light of the fact that she mentioned her stone was clarity-enhanced in other thread). PS''ers are diamond obsessed and have long memories.
 
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