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murry is dying

JewelFreak

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Tears running down my face, VL friend. Murry has only left the clothing he wore here -- he himself is still hanging around with you. I have heard the same sounds after letting one of my dogs go & even found myself halfway to the door after hearing her bark in the night, before realizing she wasn't there. I don't think it was hallucination. I think Murry wants you to know he's as close as he ever was and that he loves you more than you know. So do we.

--- Laurie
 

MJ_Mac

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Movie Zombie - I'm glad I'm not alone in that thinking. I've made my wishes very clear - Lucy goes with me.

OVi - it's good to hear other people express what you're feeling. At times I wish I could clone Lucy.

VL - I hope it comforts you to know that others truly understand what you're going through and the emotions yet to come. It really helps to talk with people who share the love of their pets. I don't want to be negative but I found out who my true friends were after Lucy died. Again, it's the people who understand the love and bond will be the ones who help you the most. I was at the vet recently with one of my new girls and there was a woman who was sitting crying in the waiting room. Her cat was seriously ill and they didn't know if she would make it. She looked so alone. Even though she was a stranger I went to her and held her hand and put my arm around her as she cried. I remembered the perfect stranger (daughter of my mother's hospital roommate) who hugged and comforted me as my mother was dying. It meant so much to me as I felt so alone at that moment waiting for my DH to get back to the hospital. I just want you to know you're not alone.
 

minousbijoux

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JewelFreak|1416511927|3787403 said:
Tears running down my face, VL friend. Murry has only left the clothing he wore here -- he himself is still hanging around with you. I have heard the same sounds after letting one of my dogs go & even found myself halfway to the door after hearing her bark in the night, before realizing she wasn't there. I don't think it was hallucination. I think Murry wants you to know he's as close as he ever was and that he loves you more than you know. So do we.

--- Laurie

This exactly. This was the same when Ursa, my best friend of 15 years, had to be put down. She let me know she was still around. So many friends who've lost their furry best friends have experienced this and its clearly not hallucination. If you think of how incredibly loyal dogs are, you realize that of course they are not going to wander off or leave us just because they have left their clothing as Laurie so eloquently put it. Big hugs to you. For some reason, I always thought I would meet Murry.
 

katharath

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VL, I wanted to add my condolences. Pugs have a very special place in my heart, I've loved one in particular. They are such a joy, and it is obvious what a dear pug Murry was. Your pics are worth a million words...he was clearly a sweetheart who was much loved. So sorry for your loss.
 

VapidLapid

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Thank you all so much. I do still find myself crying, for instance, just not I came in from marketing. No lights were on; there was no one to call to to say "Im home" to. at the market I couldnt talk, i choked up. I wrote text lines on my phone and showed them to the counter people.
AGBF, yes he has had that doll his whole life. it was his favorite. He would carry it around everywhere so the would have a place to rest his chin, since his neck was to short to reach the ground. Whenever guests came over he would get excited and bring them his doll. He slept with it in his mouth, licked it like a baby when I wouldn't let him lick my head every night anymore. It was a pug doll, but he tried to eat the eyes so I pushed the head inside out into the body and it looked like a chicken. A few months ago he lost all interest in it.Even if I brought it to him, made sure it went to bed with him, nothing, he gave up all his daily routines with it. You can see is blurry in the background with some of the early pictures I found today
Minous, I do wish you had met him.

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azstonie

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What wonderful pics of Murry (and you) in younger days! He has tons of presence even in a pic, I can only imagine what it was like to have that at home with you 24/7.

When I think of dogs as pups, in their litters at the breeder's place or in a For Sale type of place, just think of all the peeps he could have gone home with, it was with YOU. What an amazing place this world is that you chose each other in just a brief space in time and look how great it turned out. Its a love story for sure.

I'll be thinking of you, VL, and even though many of us have never met, all of us who are thinking of you, well we hope it lifts you up just a little bit. Murry wants you to be happy in every way.
 

missy

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Dear Vapid, I just want you to know I am still thinking of you and Murry and sending you more gentle hugs. Murry's personality shines through in all the wonderful pictures you posted of him and Azstonie is right. He would want you to be happy and keep him alive in your happy memories of him. In time you will get there but now take all the time you need to grieve for your loss.
 

jaysonsmom

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VL, my thoughts are with you, and I hope you find comfort in the fact that Murry is no longer in pain.
 

VapidLapid

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VapidLapid

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these snow pics were murrys first winter. A friend and I took him to Central Park to play. The same friend that murrys paw is covering his mouth in an earlier photo. Also the same friend wo picked us up and took us to the veterinarian yesterday.

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VapidLapid

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He had fun this time, but he never enjoyed the snow again

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VapidLapid

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And a small Boxwood sculpture of him I started carving just before he went into the rapid decline

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minousbijoux

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Can you tell us some more about him? His idiosyncrasies? His favorite foods? Special noises that only you understood? Did he like other dogs/cats/people? I remember a while ago you captioned one of his photos as "meatloaf" I think. What would he do when he was excited to see you? When he was upset with you - did he ever get upset with you? Did his tail uncurl when he was relaxed like when he was asleep?
 

AGBF

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VapidLapid|1416530514|3787648 said:
these snow pics were murrys first winter. A friend and I took him to Central Park to play. The same friend that murrys paw is covering his mouth in an earlier photo. Also the same friend who picked us up and took us to the veterinarian yesterday.

I love those pictures of murry as a snow dog. I love snow dogs. But don't try to sell us the idea that murry was just "covering your friend's mouth" with that little paw of his. I wrote above that he had hit you in the face with his paw, but it was your friend whom he hit! (I thought your looks had changed too much for that photo to have been you at another time in your life!). Those paws in the mouth hurt, VL. Surely you've felt enough of them to know that! (Although my Newfie's paws are the size of murry's whole head.)

A sad, but odd coincidence: my best friend's dog, Faith, was euthanized this morning. I went to visit her (Faith) last night for the last time. I am to Faith what your friend was to murry. But I didn't know about your friend's role in murry's life until I read what you just wrote above.
 

MJ_Mac

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I love the pictures of Murry. What an adorable puppy he was! You can see his personality shine through in all those pictures. That little pink tongue and under-bite just makes my heart melt.
 

JewelFreak

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Oh, he's so cute, VL! I love him in the snow -- guess that wasn't an adventure he was nuts to repeat, huh? My grandmother always had pugs -- so all my life, whenever I see a pug, I know I'm among friends. I love the way they enter a room -- they sort of sashay in like socialites spreading welcome (& snorting it, of course).

I have in my will the same as MZ -- when I finally get to go see them at the Bridge, I want my ashes & those of my Siberians all mixed up together & spread on the wind. I know cardiac surgery would be impossible on me -- they'd discover all kinds of dogs & cats wrapped tightly around my heart. Murry's and yours are one.



--- Laurie

P.S. The sculpture is marvelous, VL -- finish it for both of you.

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AGBF

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JewelFreak|1416590741|3788022 said:
P.S. The sculpture is marvelous, VL -- finish it for both of you.

You speak for both of us as you so often do, Laurie. I couldn't believe VL had whittled* that himself when I saw it. He is very talented. He really brought Murry right out of the boxwood. Indeed, he should finish it.

*I do not know if one is supposed to use the word "whittle" with Boxwood sculpture. But since this is wood, not ivory, it seems like whittling to me. I am ready to learn better terminology, however!

Deb
 

Sunstorm

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JewelFreak what you said about your heart was just beautiful beyond words, when I come here I always find people that can feel as deeply as I can and express it too,I wish we could meet more people like that out in the world. The sculpture is so Murry, this is wonderful how you can express your feelings through that VL. Do finish it, I wish I could have done something like this to have Stella with me for the rest of my life, I wanted to have her beautiful peach-blue fur but I know this sounds silly. Yeah me, I will also mingle with many of my Abys, some rescue kitties, doggies over the bridge. Losing our innocent babies hurts more than anything human beings can do to us.
 

NOYFB

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JewelFreak|1416590741|3788022 said:
I have in my will the same as MZ -- when I finally get to go see them at the Bridge, I want my ashes & those of my Siberians all mixed up together & spread on the wind.

I also have in my will that my ashes are to be mixed with those of my beloved kitties. I'm glad I'm not the only one. :wink2:

VL, sending you hugs and comfort. These first few days are the hardest. And yes, please do finish the sculpture. It's beautiful, just like Murry.
 

Begonia

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Ah jeez. Just returned after a few days away.

What a dear little soul he was. I'm glad he came into your life and sorry he had to go.

Take good care VL.
 

VapidLapid

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Minous, I wish I could really give you an sense of h is personality. For the most part he hated dogs; at least all dogs that were bigger than him, and some that were smaller and annoying. He especially did not like Bernese Mountain Dogs. Oddly he was friendly with pugs, but never formed a close alliance with one. He did have a closeness with the Jack Russel in the photos. She passed 6 years ago.She wasn't mine, but a good friend's. They played for years and sometimes managed to sit both on my lap at once. Murry was a very good judge of people, though a bit harsh to those who did not make the cut. After only a few instances of me saying "uh-oh" when a big dog was approaching he made that his cue to start barking his head of whenever I said it. I confess there were times I took advantage of that. He really loved his doll; he eagerly brought it to any visitor whom he liked. For the first few years he would play fetch with it, thrash it in his mouth, toss it up in the air. Later it became his personal chin rest and had to go with him everywhere. He would fall asleep holding it in his mouth. It went through the washing machine many times a year. He didn't snore. He had a peaceful rumble very like a cat's purr. It was remarkable and nearly everyone who experienced it remarked on it. He loved watermelon, arugula, radishes, blueberries, oranges, clementines, the usual veal chop or bacon, muffins, popovers...the usual things. He did not like sushi.He was very gentle about taking pieces offered.


Wherever he was he faced me like a compass needle and I north.He never let me out of his sight. He loved coffee. A goof friend worked at a coffeeshop two blocks away and for the last 7 years has owned on three blocks away. The first one there were lots of open bags of beans, so there was a lot of spillage. At ten weeks he was eating coffee beans like they were treats. Obviously I put a stop to that but then he would only settle if he would lick all the foam out of my cup after I finished my latte. Later when I cut down on coffee to one a day, he discovered he preferred Chai foam anyway. His face could only get in so far, but his tongue eventually stretched to reach the bottom. In Summer he would take a cup of ice and lick away at it. He would not drink water from a cup unless he had to. He certainly never used a communal water dish on the ground. I would sit with an ankle over a knee and he would plomp himself into my lap, chin on knee and take a nap. He loved to hang out in the neighborhood with his peeps for hours. Everyone knew him. He knew all the stores where he had ever gotten treats that he liked and refused to walk past them.When the seasons turned colder he would make a point of lying down on my coat or sweater so I wouldn't be able to go without him.

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VapidLapid

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ForteKitty

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VL, my heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
 

cmd2014

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VapidLapid,

I'm just seeing this thread now. I am so sorry for your loss. Murry was clearly the world's most loved boy, and I can see your heart is broken. While I know it won't take away your pain, I hope it helps to know that your pain is shared. You are a special person to have loved so much. Murry was a lucky dog.
 

Andelain

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VapidLapid|1416436480|3786734 said:
At 4:08 this afternoon NY time Murry left this world.
I was holding him in my arms, and his chin was resting in my palm.

His last memory is being safe in your arms. The best possible way to go. I'm so sorry for your loss. ;(
 

Sunstorm

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What a character he was! Thank you for sharing stories about him VL and please continue to do so if you like. They definitely leave a huge gap in our hearts and life. Remembrance is great and a tribute to him, I am sure it makes him happy when you celebrate his life and being.
 

diamondringlover

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I am so sorry for you loss :((
 

VapidLapid

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Today I am cleaning. All the toys, must never loved, the pillows, the blankets, the beds, hunting down the fur bunnies; everything must go. Except for his doll, I am keeping that. The pet stroller is being donated, the unused meds too, the food goes to a friend's dog. With so much space cleared out I am moving some things around too. I thought a change in the way we move in the rooms was needed. It occurred to me last night that in time the pain would wane as time passed; that without those last two days and acts being the dominant moments in mind, pain would be replaced by loss, and loss eventually by the good memories. Still, I weep afresh with every move I make, from taking a moment to be mindless and turn for 5 seconds from my work, to crossing the room, avoiding the water dish, anticipating his eyes following, or his feet underneath. Every routine, trivial or not, in my life had been unconsciously adjusted, every movement modified to accommodate him. I was reaching to turn out the light last night and caught my self giving slack to the bedclothes so my reaching wouldn't disturb him. Last night I stood in the kitchen where his dish had sat, felt like a traitor, and started to cry.
I realize there is going to be a difficult period of adjustment. My good friend was with me for the entirety of his long and full life span. I think it would disappoint him if my loss of him ruined the rest of my, slightly more than half lived life.

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VapidLapid

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I want to thank everyone who posted here giving me support, space to grieve, their own stories, to learn ever so little about Murry's personality. I was extremely touched that anyone would emerge from lurkerdom for the purpose of adding comfort to this thread. I have cried a lot, and cried a lot putting this thread together, and I thank you all. Though it has been cathartic, I expect that I will cry more, but without quite the hopelessness.

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azstonie

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It was an honor to attend this memorial to Murry and even though I was sad I was also charmed by him and laughed at his funny attitudes and antics (Closed????? Where's my muffin?). I left yesterday thinking Pugs are great dogs, I sure would have one!

Love and comfort to you, VL.
 
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