Men!!!

[janinegirly]

another one (more in line with spirit of this thread) is that my DH leaves piles of small pieces of paper everywhere. Receipts, tiny papers with things scribbled on them, business cards. I dare not throw anything away bc you know it''ll the one thing that he needed. But the pile grows, I straighten it out and it starts somewhere else. Also piles of clothes that are clean but supposedly no room in the dresser?

 

[galeteia]

Date: 5/12/2010 10:49:54 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Lilac, so I''m not alone on the we thing! See my post above...ask you hubby going forward simply ''we-we or me-we?''

Oh gawd, the ''we'' meaning ''me'' thing drives me NUTS. Except in my case, I mean "we" when it ends up being "me", i.e. "we need to decide when we are going on vacation" but it ends up being ME. I have tried to help him how by narrowing options from 10 down to 3, so he can choose from the ''short list'', but it STILL ends up being me who has to make the final decision. Is it so hard to choose when I have already gone to the effort of researching all the options and narrowing them to a short list?!!! When it came to immigration paperwork, I ended up doing all his work for him with the instructions that I was simply to tell him what to do, because he didn''t want to deal with all the fine print and understanding what the h*ll they were talking about. At that point, it wasn''t "tell me what ''we'' are going to do", it was "tell me what ''I'' am going to do"!

And why am I the one who has to figure out what to get his family for christmas/birthdays/etc? He''s the one who has known them all his life!! Why am I struggling (as the ''interloper'') to figure out what to get them?!

I have learned that pretty much anything I want done requires me doing it myself. He also has a habit of throwing out mail without opening it. This resulted in our TAX REFUND getting THROWN OUT and requiring it to be re-ordered.

By me, of course.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/12/2010 11:27:16 PM
Author: Galateia

Date: 5/12/2010 10:49:54 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Lilac, so I''m not alone on the we thing! See my post above...ask you hubby going forward simply ''we-we or me-we?''

Oh gawd, the ''we'' meaning ''me'' thing drives me NUTS. Except in my case, I mean ''we'' when it ends up being ''me'', i.e. ''we need to decide when we are going on vacation'' but it ends up being ME. I have tried to help him how by narrowing options from 10 down to 3, so he can choose from the ''short list'', but it STILL ends up being me who has to make the final decision. Is it so hard to choose when I have already gone to the effort of researching all the options and narrowing them to a short list?!!! When it came to immigration paperwork, I ended up doing all his work for him with the instructions that I was simply to tell him what to do, because he didn''t want to deal with all the fine print and understanding what the h*ll they were talking about. At that point, it wasn''t ''tell me what ''we'' are going to do'', it was ''tell me what ''I'' am going to do''!

And why am I the one who has to figure out what to get his family for christmas/birthdays/etc? He''s the one who has known them all his life!! Why am I struggling (as the ''interloper'') to figure out what to get them?!

I have learned that pretty much anything I want done requires me doing it myself. He also has a habit of throwing out mail without opening it. This resulted in our TAX REFUND getting THROWN OUT and requiring it to be re-ordered.

By me, of course.

Girl, don''t you KNOW that that''s the reason men find partners...to do stuff like that? I have to shop every christmas for TGuy''s mom, dad, sister, niece, nephew, grandmother and ex-BIL. If I don''t do it, it will not get done. And the thing he is tells me not to bother, but how can I not? He honestly doesn''t care now if it doesn''t get done...but then after they send us stuff says "we need to get them something next year."

I did stop buying and sending the cards though, and guess what? He bought the cards and they are still sitting here...one for Mothers day and a huge batch for his sister, father and, grandmother and niece whose birthdays are all in FEBRUARY.

 

[GliderPoss]

Date: 5/12/2010 6:35:07 PM
Author: FL Steph
I love my husband dearly and he is really, really wonderful BUT...he cannot for the life of him put things where they belong. Example: He puts his dirty clothes by the laundry basket but not in it. He puts his plate in the sink and not in the dishwasher. He puts his wrappers from granola bars next to the garbage but not in it. It seriously drives me nutty. Why make the effort to ALMOST get it right??? Very strange. Also, he never closes anything back. Dresser drawers, cabinets, etc. Oh and he cracks his knuckles all at one time...it seriously sends chills up my back everytime he does it. And he knows it drives me crazy and just smiles when I have my disgusted face on right after he does it.

OMG! My hubby too! He is so great in so many ways but just cannot seems to "connect things" ie. stuff has a special place to go - PUT IT THERE!!!!!!!!

Ie. dishes in dishwasher, clothes in hamper etc. Not so great at cleaning or doing tasks when I ask either. He tends to do it a week later and look hurt when i get P/O about it. Seriously when I ask you to do something I mean NOW not next week!

Some things are funny though, last week he put dish washing powder in our washing machine with the clothes.... I absolutely pissed myself with laughter at that one.

Having said that, I do love him to bits and I'm far from perfect too........

 

[galeteia]

Date: 5/12/2010 11:33:14 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/12/2010 11:27:16 PM

Author: Galateia

Date: 5/12/2010 10:49:54 PM
And why am I the one who has to figure out what to get his family for christmas/birthdays/etc? He's the one who has known them all his life!! Why am I struggling (as the 'interloper') to figure out what to get them?!

Girl, don't you KNOW that that's the reason men find partners...to do stuff like that? I have to shop every christmas for TGuy's mom, dad, sister, niece, nephew, grandmother and ex-BIL. If I don't do it, it will not get done. And the thing he is tells me not to bother, but how can I not? He honestly doesn't care now if it doesn't get done...but then after they send us stuff says 'we need to get them something next year.'

I did stop buying and sending the cards though, and guess what? He bought the cards and they are still sitting here...one for Mothers day and a huge batch for his sister, father and, grandmother and niece whose birthdays are all in FEBRUARY.

No kidding! Mine poo-poohs me when I start pestering him in October for Christmas gifts. "Why are you thinking about this NOW? It's MONTHS away!" and then 2 weeks before Christmas he's baffled that I am in panic mode when "we" haven't figured out what to get them. THEY ARE YOUR FREAKING FAMILY! Why am I the one running around like a chicken with my head cut off when I've been bothering him for months that we need to figure out what to get them for Christmas?!

 

[Lilac]

Date: 5/12/2010 11:27:16 PM
Author: Galateia

Date: 5/12/2010 10:49:54 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Lilac, so I''m not alone on the we thing! See my post above...ask you hubby going forward simply ''we-we or me-we?''

And why am I the one who has to figure out what to get his family for christmas/birthdays/etc? He''s the one who has known them all his life!! Why am I struggling (as the ''interloper'') to figure out what to get them?!

TGal - I laughed out loud at the we-we and me-we. I definitely will start using that!

Galateia - This just happened with Mother''s Day! Luckily, DH is really wonderful with getting me gifts for special occasions, but he isn''t the same way with buying things for the rest of his family. Somehow for Mother''s Day I had to come up with the idea and then CONVINCE him we should send his mom flowers and then I went ahead and ordered them myself. Keep in mind, I don''t like the woman and she has never been nice to me. Yet I''m the one *convincing* him we should get her flowers and then spending time ordering them for her! And then Mother''s Day comes along and he realizes he doesn''t have a gift for her. I tell him that''s not particularly nice, so what happens? We run around looking for a gift for her. Oh wait, let me rephrase: "me-we" runs around looking for a gift for her! You''re not alone.

 

[Haven]

Oh my gosh this thread is hilarious.

Mrs Mitchell--You had me at salmon frosting. I'm in tears over here.

I'm sure my husband's list about my annoying habits would be much longer than mine, but since this is MY fun website, here goes:

- I wake up most mornings to find a pair of boxers, neatly folded and freshly cleaned, SITTING ON TOP OF MY GORGEOUS OAK BUFFET IN THE KITCHEN. Boxers. Drawers. Undies. I don't care if they're clean--get them the h*ll out of my kitchen! (I didn't ask him about this for a while, I just let my imagination wander and created funny explanations in my head as to why he places clean, folded boxers in my kitchen every morning. It didn't matter--his explanation clarified nothing. The phenomenon of the boxers in the kitchen remains a mystery to me.)

- He always talks to me while I'm doing something that actually requires my full attention. Reading. Grading papers. Reading. Talking to *someone else* on the phone, which so rarely happens so really, you just can't wait. Reading. Now I know how my mom felt all those years.

- I'm sure I've shared The Case of the Disappearing Thin Mints stories before, so suffice it to say that he has absolutely no self control when chocolate is involved, and will go to great lengths to remove it from his presence once he realizes that he has passed the point of no return EVEN IF SAID CHOCOLATE DOES NOT BELONG TO HIM. There is no greater let down than looking forward to a frozen Thin Mint all day long while dealing with ornery teenagers and coming home to learn that your husband drove to a distant garbage dump to dispose of your Thin Mint because he could not control himself if the cookie remained in the house. And he would do that again if the temptation became too strong. Okay, I said more than sufficed. Sorry.

- He is obsessed with coasters, and heavily peppers our wood furniture with them the night before people come to visit. He is compulsive about wiping the dog's paws before she walks into the house after a walk even if she merely walked through some dewy grass. His skin crawls if there is the teeniest, tiniest speck of something on a dish or piece of flatware in a restaurant. He has the cleanest nails I've ever seen on a man. YET HE LEAVES GLOBS OF GOOPY, VISCOUS, YELLOW PHLEGM CLINGING TO THE BOWL OF OUR WHITE PORCELAIN BATHROOM SINK, WAITING THERE TO GREET ME EVERY MORNING. "Hello, Lori. Good morning. We came out of your husband's throat when he awoke. Aren't we vile?" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! I HATE THE PHLEGM! Why not wash it down the drain immediately? Why? Why leave it there? Is it a badge of manliness? Oh, it's so awful. It taunts me, that phlegm.

Oh man, do I feel better.

ETA: OH, I have to add this. This is actualy *the* most irritating thing that my husband does. I cannot stand this, and it's enough to get me really uncharacteristically angry if he pulls this sh*t at the right time.

We live in a small ranch home. It has a very open layout, not many walls. It's pretty easy for anyone to hear anything that is going on in any part of the house no matter where you happen to be. EXCEPT for one tiny problem: My husband has selective hearing. This is how it goes:
Haven: Honey, did you walk the dog?
DH: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?
Haven: (louder) Did you walk the dog?!
DH: WHAAAAAAAAAAT? MELLLLLLLLLLL!!

And that's it. I go crazy. He has effectively ignored my question, and instead yelled a replay of the most commonly repeated words from his childhood: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? MELLLLLLLLLLLL!!" His father's name is Mel. His parents yelled a lot. Whenever his father yelled to his mother and she didn't want to hear him, she would yell "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! MELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!" And, now, DH does that to me.

Oooh, it drives me crazy. And he knows it, so he knows that whatever I'm trying to get him to do or answer, he won't have to answer because he's pulled the WHAAAAAAAAAAT?! MELLLLLLLLLLLLL!! on me.

It sounds so not very annoying all written out. If I could add sound to this post I would. And then you would all be pissed off, too.

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/12/2010 7:55:31 PM
Author: TravelingGal
And he doesn''t get down on Amelia''s level sometimes. He speaks as if she''s an adult. We have a drawing pad where she loves for us to draw things for her. I''ve drawn Elmos, Dora, the ''Map'', babies, etc. I went to a page where TGuy did some drawings and I swear to god there were two things:
- A blobby fuzzy thing labeled ''amoeba'', and
- A right angle triangle with the angles marked 90 degrees

Oh my gosh, this is amazing. I rarely laugh out loud while staring at my computer screen, and I''m doing it right now.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 5/13/2010 12:17:59 AM
Author: Haven He has the cleanest nails I''ve ever seen on a man. YET HE LEAVES GLOBS OF GOOPY, VISCOUS, YELLOW PHLEGM CLINGING TO THE BOWL OF OUR WHITE PORCELAIN BATHROOM SINK, WAITING THERE TO GREET ME EVERY MORNING. ''Hello, Lori. Good morning. We came out of your husband''s throat when he awoke. Aren''t we vile?'' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! I HATE THE PHLEGM! Why not wash it down the drain immediately? Why? Why leave it there? Is it a badge of manliness? Oh, it''s so awful. It taunts me, that phlegm.

LOL!! I laughed so hard at this that SO started asking me what was so funny and I had to come up with an excuse + a distraction to head him off before he found out any more details about this thread. I am wiping my eyes right now.

"Aren''t we vile?" Yes, yes you are.

 

[iheartscience]

ZOMG HAVEN. My husband does the same thing with the phlegm in the sink! He actually stopped (for the time being) because I freaked out on him so many times. I just don''t understand what would make a person think it''s okay to hock a loogie in the SINK. The toilet is right next to the sink-if you have to excrete disgusting bodily fluids, go ahead and do it in the TOILET, which is made for that!

I actually got off pretty easy in the husband department. I''m probably the one who does most of these annoying things!

I will say that my husband is supposed to take the trash out and instead of taking out the trash when it''s full he puts trash on top of the trash can lid! It''s one of those Simple Human ones with the foot pedal and the lid. Um if you put trash on top it will all fall off when you open the damn thing to actually take the trash out! He''ll also pile larger items for recycling next to the trash instead of actually putting it in the recycling bin. I don''t want a trash pile in the kitchen!

 

[yssie]

This thread has me in tears!!

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 5/12/2010 6:55:03 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I''m with you Mrs.M. My DH is a warm, loving guy. But he is absolutely horrible at anything food related. I think in the 4+ years we''ve dated/been engaged/been married, he has gone grocery shopping by himself maybe...twice.

He once came home with rotten bananas. That''s right, he went to the store, and bought blackened, ROTTEN bananas, and brought them home. Sigh. I''m also convinced he doesn''t recognize most vegetable items in their raw and uncooked state.

He also doesn''t do dishes, but that''s because I don''t usually let him. He (like most men) doesn''t understand the idea of ''pre rinsing'', he''ll just finish a meal, and then put his dish directly into the dishwasher, so that the foodstuffs left there will get dry, crusty, and oh so aromatically gross. And of course, it won''t wash off when I run the dish washer.

I do however love that he cleans up after me because I can be a tornado when I come home after a long day. And even if we''re having a disagreement or I''m not happy about something he''s contributing to, and even if he''s doing exactly the wrong thing, I can always tell he''s trying his darn hardest to make me feel better.

LOL! Rotten bananas. The ideal choice. DH has bought a few mouldy things in his time too. It did take me a few years to get that point across actually - LOOK at the item before you buy it. Unless it''s a pair of Uggs, it probably shouldn''t have furry bits.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 5/12/2010 7:15:29 PM
Author: jas

Date: 5/12/2010 5:29:33 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
I don''t know if I ever shared this here, but here''s an example of just how bad DH is with food:

When I was pregnant, I was CRAVING cupcakes in the worst way. The bakery near our house didn''t have any, so he decided to make some for me. We had a chat about the advisability of this but he insisted and went to buy the ingredients. One of them was cream cheese, for the frosting.

That''s how we ended up with lemon cupcakes with a smoked salmon and herb frosting.

I love you, Mrs Mitchell

I love you too.

Just wondering, do you add nuts to your cookie recipe? Which sort?

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Oh, that old we-meaning-you chestnut. DH was a master of that game. To everyone who mentioned that, you have my sympathy.

Eventually I took him at his word - if he says we should do something, I wait for him to initiate. If he does, I'll help. If he doesn't, it isn't going to happen.

After a few puzzled "how come we never did X Y Z" questions, the penny dropped and he stopped it. Took about a year, all in.

Tgal, I hope Amelia appreciated microscopic organisms and trigonomety.

We should consider a swap - when I draw fluffy kittens and little sailing boats and cupcakes and stuff, my A scorns my efforts and wanders off to help DH colour in his architectural drawings.

Haven, the phegm thing - I had a glob-hawker too. I cured it by scrubbing it off with his toothbrush then tapping the toothbrush briskly on the lavatory bowl and flushing (while he was watching, I was doing it to make a point, not make him sick). In response to the inevitable howls of outrage, I just had to tell him that's what I did every time I found it. Never found it again.

 

[ksinger]

Laundry. He does it. Sort of. He''ll load the washer. Load the dryer. Maybe. Bring the clothes in. Dump them on every chair in the living room and LEAVE THEM THERE.

Or he''ll dry one load, NOT unload it, and leave another wet load in the washer to rot. Does he tell ME any of this so I can rescue? Heck NO. So I''m desperate for whatever is mildewing in the washer, and end up having to run them AGAIN. Grrrr!!

The other day...we sorted out the laundry. Darks were drying, so I put the whites in a basket to go into the washer, but hadn''t taken them out yet.

He comes home, we chat, I''m not paying attention to what he''s doing. Finally I go, "did you put that load of whites in the washer yet?" He looks at me, "I just folded and put them up."

I''m like, "GROSS! Why did you do that??" He, defensively and eye-rolling: "They were in the basket!!". Now tell me ladies, what in HELL does being in a basket have to do with the cleanliness status of the clothes?? He thinks that you can only use a basket when the clothes are clean!! WT?? It''s a BASKET. You use it to CARRY stuff. Period.

Bottom line, I wish he''d just do ONE load, start to finish, folded put away, done, instead of this endless string of half-done loads.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Ksinger I feel your pain. If I ask DH to put a load of sorted wash in he''ll grab *most* of the pile but leave the little bits and pieces that fall out of his armload. So I end up with undies and socks, etc scattered across the upstairs hallway. And it''s not like there''s ever enough left over for another load of just the stuff he missed...

 

[Lilac]

Oh, and another thing. DH has these boxers and t-shirts that he sleeps in sometimes. They must be at least 10 years old (and I only say 10 because he''s only 23 so how old can they really be?) but they look like they have been around forever. They''re falling apart. LITERALLY falling apart. The t-shirts are so worn that they are see-through! The material is so thin at this point that I can hold the shirt up to my face and look through it. It has holes all over it, so if you want to look through the shirt you have options - the holes, or the very thin material that doesn''t cover much of anything.

And then there are the boxers. There are so many holes in those boxers I honestly think the holes take up more space than the actual material. The elastic waistband sticks out because the material has worn away. There is a hole the size of one of his entire butt cheeks in the back. But will he throw them out? Nope. Why? I have no idea. He has this weird attachment to them and gets a really sad puppy dog look on his face when I say they won''t be coming back from the laundry next time. So I feel bad, and then they always end up coming back nice, clean, and with bigger stretched out holes from the wash.

I think my only hope for getting rid of them is if one day the holes stretch so big the boxers turn into a skirt. Maybe then he''ll finally throw them out...

 

[fieryred33143]

These are really making me LOL!

Haven-I had that same issue here and before leaving the bathroom, I would stop him and say ''did you clean up in there??'' because that''s so gross to see

.



What drives me crazy that FI ALWAYS does is that if there is something really dramatic or cheesy on TV, he has to repeat it to me.

Some examples:

While watching a Pepto commercial, he''ll turn to me and say "Are you suffering from heartburn, nausea, indegestion, upset stomach, or diarrhea? Because if you are, I''ll go get you pepto. All you have to do is ask and I''ll go right now"

Or like yesterday some commercial came on with quotes from Friends and they showed the one where Phoebe says "he''s her lobster" so he yells out to me BAAABBEEE and I of course run over thinking something terrible has happened and he goes ''you''re my lobster''

He does this all.the.time. And he thinks its hilarious.

Also, he and technology in general do not get along. He doesn''t know how to program anything: cell phones, DVD players, microwave timers, setting the time on his car.

He makes up random percentages like "you''re happiness will increase by 20% if you make me a sandwich." I''ll say "it''ll increase by 40% if I don''t" to which he replies "that doesn''t even make sense." Really? That doesn''t make sense?

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 5/13/2010 9:33:43 AM
Author: fiery
These are really making me LOL!


Haven-I had that same issue here and before leaving the bathroom, I would stop him and say ''did you clean up in there??'' because that''s so gross to see

.




What drives me crazy that FI ALWAYS does is that if there is something really dramatic or cheesy on TV, he has to repeat it to me.


Some examples:


While watching a Pepto commercial, he''ll turn to me and say ''Are you suffering from heartburn, nausea, indegestion, upset stomach, or diarrhea? Because if you are, I''ll go get you pepto. All you have to do is ask and I''ll go right now''


Or like yesterday some commercial came on with quotes from Friends and they showed the one where Phoebe says ''he''s her lobster'' so he yells out to me BAAABBEEE and I of course run over thinking something terrible has happened and he goes ''you''re my lobster''


He does this all.the.time. And he thinks its hilarious.


Also, he and technology in general do not get along. He doesn''t know how to program anything: cell phones, DVD players, microwave timers, setting the time on his car.


He makes up random percentages like ''you''re happiness will increase by 20% if you make me a sandwich.'' I''ll say ''it''ll increase by 40% if I don''t'' to which he replies ''that doesn''t even make sense.'' Really? That doesn''t make sense?

Um...I''m totally going to use this line on DH tonight....

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 5/12/2010 8:59:49 PM
Author: packrat
duh, TRIMS it I meant, not shaves it. If you tell me your husband''s name is JD I might be a little freaked out.

LOL! Packie, I was starting to wonder if your DH''s name was Dave!

 

[elrohwen]

I thought of another one.

DH always parks in the furthest parking spots. We drive to the grocery store and I can see 2 or 3 spots right by the door. DH parks in the very first spot he drives past which just happens to be far away. I ask why he does this, and he says he doesn''t like driving around looking for closer spots. Ok, neither do I, but I can *see* two spots right now! We won''t be driving around looking for them, I can see them right now!

 

[princesss]

I have tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard right now. I love this thread.

- I have been shanghaied into being The Keeper Of All Important Dates. At any point, BF expects to be able to say, "Hey, when''s my mom''s birthday again?" "How old is my sister now?" or "When is great uncle Fred''s cousin''s sister''s son''s dog''s adoptaversary?" He does buy the gifts himself, and I''m very proud of him for that, but he expects me to warn him when the dates are coming up even though they''re written on the calendar.

- He can''t stand his little sister (and she can''t stand him). They fight like nothing I have ever seen before, and each time we see her I pray that this will be the time that we can get away without them screaming insults at each other. So I''d really appreciate it if somebody could tell me why he spends HOURS agonizing over what to get her for Christmas when he spends roughly 20 minutes thinking about what to get me. "Well, you mentioned that you wanted a mirror, so I decided not to get you jewelry and instead get you this massive wooden mirror we don''t have space for. Oh, you don''t like it? Okay, we''ll return it and you can pick out your own gift." But he stresses and worries about getting her something that she''ll love. And you know what? She never does. Ever. And yet he keeps trying, but gets me throw-away gifts (okay, not totally true, but compared to how much he thinks about hers, it definitely feels like they''re throw-away gifts). There is a reason I was thrilled when we decided to go to experiences for Christmas/birthdays instead of gifts.

- And by "we decided" I mean "I decided" since "we" generally means "me"

- Laundry. The sweet, wonderful boy does laundry (and does it more frequently than I do). But the laundry almost never makes it to the closet. When I do laundry, I fold it, hang it, and put it away. It''s my least favourite part of donig laundry, but I do it. He leaves it in the drier for days, finally decides to hang everything, and just leaves it hanging from the mantle. He neatly folds underoos and PJs and puts them on the coffee table, or next to the TV. And then leaves them there. Guests coming? It''s cool, princesss, you''ve got cute underoos. Cleaning the house? But that''s where the clothes live. Closets are sooooo claustrophobic. And the best part is, when he finally puts clothes away, he leaves my stuff there! "But I don''t know where it goes!" I swear to Bob, I''m going to PAINT "Underoos" "Sports gear" and "PJs" onto my drawers so he doen''t have an excuse.

 

[jas]

This may win as best thread ever on PS...

When I have a moment, I will share my husband''s remarkable ability...(hint: it''s practically Einsteinian)

 

[geckodani]

OMG. The salmon frosting. And the phlegm. And and and and - BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!! This thread is epic!

Okay. Explain to me how my incredibly intelligent husband can be so completely defeated by the grocery store. It's a store. With aisles. And food. Take the list, enter the building, fill the cart and leave. The man went into conniptions when I sent him to Trader Joe's for five things (skim milk, eggs, sliced bella mushrooms, canola oil and pizza dough). It took him an hour. I asked if he got lost when he got home, and apparantly the list wasn't specific enough. "There are like 3 kinds of milk!! And do you know how many different kinds of EGGS they have!?!?!" I have to be INCREDIBLY specific on lists. I usually give up and go myself. Asking the man to do laundry requires written instructions of what buttons to push.

Okay, you guys have phlegm in the sink. I have a small puddle of congealed urine at the base of the toilet after about a week.

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN!?!?!? You are a fully adult human being! Shake it into the bowl! DO NOT FLING PEE!!! GAH! What if we have sons?!?! Is he going to teach them to fling that last drop about with abandon?!?!

I make him clean the toilets. There are limits to what I will do. Oh, but wait, when confronted with a household task, the man immediately takes on the aura of deer in headlights.

I have more. I have lots more.... but this will suffice for now.

ETA: On the flip side, I have no idea where the mailbox is, and insist on leaving the caps off of everything. *shrug*

 

[anchor31]

This is hilarious!

Maybe one of you lovely ladies has figured it out, because I certainly haven''t... Why do men always have to be so loud? When they walk, talk, watch TV, fart... Why does it always have to be so LOUD?! And why do we always have to ask everything? He has to do X chore every day. So why do I have to ask him to do it every. single. day?

Date: 5/13/2010 12:17:59 AM
Author: Haven

- He always talks to me while I''m doing something that actually requires my full attention. Reading. Grading papers. Reading. Talking to *someone else* on the phone, which so rarely happens so really, you just can''t wait. Reading. Now I know how my mom felt all those years.

DH does that too. I watch two TV programs a week. Two hours, that''s it. I try to, at any rate, if bébé Jacob has successfully been put to bed by the time the show is on. But DH just has to come into the living room and start to chat. Hello, do I constantly bother you when you watch your cartoons? No, I don''t! So please let me watch my two hours of grown-up TV!! Speaking of which, what is it with men and cartoons??

Something that''s sort of funny but mostly irritating... He''s been complaining about the dishes for years and was very excited that the house we bought has a brand new dishwasher in it. But he doesn''t put his dirty dishes in it. (insert TGal''s avatar)

 

[Puppmom]

Since my list over in the "things I do to annoy DH" thread, I have another one:

- DH NEVER sets the microwave for the correct amount of time. If something needs to be cooked for 2minutes 30seconds, he''ll turn it on for 5minutes and trust himself to stop it before his item overcooks. I HATE this because then I feel like I have to babysit it...but I guess that would be the control freak in me.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

I don''t know whether to laugh, cry or vomit at some of these responses-you girls are hilarious and I so wish I had more time/energy to join the fun around here!

My husband will NOT raise his arms to hug me when I stand right in front of him and start coo-ing on him. It drives me crazy and of course makes me feel rejected at times. He was not raised in an affectionate household but I can''t believe he has such restraint as to not respond to a warm body in front of him.(maybe that''s a good thing when he''s at work

My hubby uses the um, private office, and NEVER EVER EVER turns the fan on. ''nuff said

My hubby is ZERO responsible for all gift-giving, bill paying, organizing, calendar keeping, appointment keeping anything that has to do with our kids UNLESS I specifically ask him to participate. I am a stay at home goddess but it still gets old sometimes that he has NO clue how many tylenol our four yr old needs with a fever

My hubby does not put dirty dishes in the dishwasher-they go in the sink????

My hubby recycles, but that means cans go on the counter and it''s MY job to carry them out to the garage?(I quit doing it)

I am sure there are umpteen other quirks that dh does, but those are daily rants

Wait, one more, dh never rinses the sink after he shaves-like why?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/13/2010 12:47:55 PM
Author: snowflakeluvr

My hubby recycles, but that means cans go on the counter and it''s MY job to carry them out to the garage?(I quit doing it)

Snowflakeluvr, I feel your pain. My husband is BIG into recycling since he''s Australian and they are into recycling everything. He''d actually wash the cans and bottles and stack them in a corner of our apartment. And stack them. And stack them. He NEVER took them to the recycling center and I am not kidding you when our apartment (which was already cluttered from baby stuff) looked like a garbage dump.

So when my nanny offered to take them herself, I was enthused! I told him it solved all our problems...he would be happy that we are recycling and she would be making a bit of extra change, and I wouldn''t have to look at a pile of garbage. He hemmed and hawwed and said he wanted to take it himself. I was like, why? You don''t LIKE to do it and we don''t NEED the 10 dollars. He said, "But I did all the work cleaning and sorting it, and I want to know how much it''s all worth!" I told him then and there he had psychological issues, but I pick my battles. I gave him a deadline to take it in and he did it THAT morning. By that time, FIVE MONTHS of recycling had piled up.

Thank GOD in our new house, he is happy to just use the recycling bin that they come and pick up.

 

[Ryan Claire]

Awesome thread. Definitely concur with the "me-we" syndrome...

My husband is WAY neater than I am - so it''s surprising to me that many of my pet-peeves are high in the eww-factor...
- Pees in the shower... when I am in there too. He gives me fair warning, but come on - eww.
- Cuts his toenails in the living room, just barely over a little trashcan.
- REFUSES to brush his teeth before bed - I''ve tried everything, threats, rewards... nothing works.

And a few additional gems:
- Hogs the covers and ends up "sharing" my pillow every.single.night.
- Plays music at a volume that precludes having a conversation. (Perhaps I should take the hint
- "Just one more": The Snooze Syndrome. He insists I set the alarm for 6:30 or 6:45 even though 9 times out of 10 he will ask me to keep hitting the snooze button until 7:30 - we only have one alarm clock by my side of the bed. Grrr.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 5/13/2010 1:07:19 PM
Author: Ryan Claire

- Pees in the shower... when I am in there too. He gives me fair warning, but come on - eww.