Intimate Grooming.

[arkieb1]

OMG at what age do you go bald down there? Anyone???

Well, I doubt Kenny is an expert on this aspect of women's life, but I think I can still quote him and say, "people vary". Some of us are far less hairy than others to begin with and have less hair on our arms and legs. From what I have gathered (purely anecdotal evidence) from my cohort of friends, those of us who are less hairy to begin with tend to go bald earlier. The hairier (often more Mediterranean) types retain hair longer...on legs and other areas as well. They can be shaving for decades longer than us fair gals. But, as I said, this is anecdotal.

AGBF

Damn it, I spent a heap of money on laser hair removal.... And for the record I don't think you have to be fair to have less hair. Most Asian women are not that hairy either....

 

[Sky56]

ahaha, I'm old school, stuck in the Seventies, even my head hair is down to my waist and parted in the middle.

 

[arkieb1]

OMG at what age do you go bald down there? Anyone???

Well, I doubt Kenny is an expert on this aspect of women's life...

Indeed.
Aren't y'alls from Mars or Venus or someplace?

What I find odd is men with more testosterone have hairier bodies, but their heads go bald earlier.
Whassup wit dat?

Is that a known fact??? I have always thought men with more testosterone have a higher sex drive (as in they want sex several times a day even when they are older) and bigger gonads (just saying...) I have never noticed that they proportionally go bald earlier than other types of men.....

 

[chrono]

And for the record I don't think you have to be fair to have less hair. Most Asian women are not that hairy either....

The same goes for Asian men. East Asian in particular because I think those from the Indian region are blessed with bountiful hair.

 

[Circe]

So, there was some tangential (tangenital?) discussion on another thread that made me wonder. What do you think of intimate grooming? A little trim is OK? Full bush? Pubic topiary art? Nude is good?
What say you, fine PSer's?

Also, this: http://the-toast.net/2013/07/02/all-you-can-say-about-pubes-online/
Not entirely suitable for work due to the odd naughty word. No weird pictures though, all text.

That article made. my. DAY! Seriously, all too often have I seen that exact conversation (although usually spread out over several hundred comments) on purportedly feminist blogs. Y'all, do what you want with your private parts! If I'm not going to tell you who you can use them WITH, I'm certainly not going to try to dictate how you LOOK when you do!

That said ....

I think intimate grooming is fine and everyone's personal choice, what I do find a bit odd is when you read articles about women taking their daughters aged 8 or 10 or whatever to be waxed and there was that barbie doll lady recently who posed for playboy who bought her 7 year old a voucher to have breast implants. Is it just me, but I say let kids be kids, leave them the hell alone....

... oh, my gods, I could not agree with you more. Teaching good grooming - wash regularly, brush your teeth, use deodorant, etc. - is one thing. Focusing that much attention on portions of the anatomy that have not, as yet, developed? Textbook hypersexualization, and creepy as all get-out.

And, for one last response/query before getting personal ....

...
I once talked to a guy who told me that he wanted all his women to be unshaven, because he liked that the fur trapped the scent in….

Is that weird? I sort of figured that pheromones were a big part of enjoying sex. Like, yeah, you want to be clean, but that doesn't mean sterile, right?

On my end, I think I'm the opposite of JustGinger ....

...

Personally, the concept of lots of hair, on men or women, makes me shudder. Clean that ish up, seriously.

... hairlessness kinda squicks me out. Unless we're talking baldness of the head, which may be the closest I come to having a fetish: it's been rare for me to meet a bald dude I didn't find cute. It's almost disappointing that all the men in my husband's family have thick, full heads of hair that they keep into their eighties!

But, yeah, body-wise, I find the sudden shift to Sphinx cats being the follicular ideal to be really jarring. All things in moderation, right?

 

[movie zombie]

sky, you are not alone........and I've sported European pits for years. note: that area also experiences a reduction of hair with age. had i not quit shaving years ago i would not have been able to report this phenomena.

 

[momhappy]

I rank this sort of discussion right up there with bathroom habits, so no comment here Interesting read though

 

[movie zombie]

given the recent threads [this one, the paula deen, etc] Ella has got to think we've all gone mad!

 

[Dee*Jay]

I'm sure Ella determined we were all utterly mad long ago... Now she just tolerates us!

 

[amc80]

Apparently I'm in the minority, but I don't like body hair on men. My husband falls into this category- he has hairy (but blond) arms and legs, and his torso is almost completely hairless. Perfect.

 

[kenny]

Apparently I'm in the minority, but I don't like body hair on men. My husband falls into this category- he has hairy (but blond) arms and legs, and his torso is almost completely hairless. Perfect.

I think you are in the majority.
Overall, body hair has a negative connotation in our culture.
Sure, some people like myself are exceptions to the generalization, but that does not disappear the generalization.
I'm aware of more businesses to remove unwanted body hair than transplant wanted body hair ... with the exception of men's heads.

 

[missy]

Apparently I'm in the minority, but I don't like body hair on men. My husband falls into this category- he has hairy (but blond) arms and legs, and his torso is almost completely hairless. Perfect.

I think you are in the majority.
Overall, body hair has a negative connotation in our culture.
Sure, some people like myself are exceptions to the generalization, but that does not disappear the generalization.
I'm aware of more businesses to remove unwanted body hair than transplant wanted body hair ... with the exception of men's heads.

The most important thing to me re body hair is that my man's face is clean shaven cause stubble hurts! And I don't care for beards or moustaches. But I don't mind hairy guys generally though I am not a big fan of back hair. Hmm I think I might be proving your point Kenny. Back to your man. Did he get rid of his body hair for himself or for societal pressures? Cause if he did it for himself I can understand that. I shave my legs and armpits for me. Not because society says I have to. At this point I don't really care what other people do or what the norm is. I do what I want to do as long as I am not hurting anyone.

In any case I understand your preference and that you wish he respected your feelings on this matter but when it comes down to it it's his body, yanno? My gf just had a big argument with her dh (they're newlyweds) because she went ahead and pierced her nose. She discussed it calmly with him first but he just kept saying he didn't want her to do it without explaining why besides that he didn't like it. I'm not sure that's a good enough reason. She has been wanting to do it forever but couldn't because of work (she's in a job now that doesn't care what she does re piercings) and before that her parents didn't allow her to do it. So she went ahead and did it. Now her dh is giving her the cold shoulder (mature) but I agree with her that she had every right to do it and it's too bad her dh couldn't sit down with her and have a rational discussion about it.

I'm not comparing your situation with hers but you brought up an interesting topic. Is it OK to do something to your body that might make you less attractive to your spouse/SO? In an ideal world we want both visions to mesh but how often is that going to be 100% the same? I had this discussion with my dh and his perspective is she shouldn't have done the nose piercing because her dh really didn't want her to. I am curious about what PSers think.

 

[Circe]

The most important thing to me re body hair is that my man's face is clean shaven cause stubble hurts! And I don't care for beards or moustaches. But I don't mind hairy guys generally though I am not a big fan of back hair. Hmm I think I might be proving your point Kenny. Back to your man. Did he get rid of his body hair for himself or for societal pressures? Cause if he did it for himself I can understand that. I shave my legs and armpits for me. Not because society says I have to. At this point I don't really care what other people do or what the norm is. I do what I want to do as long as I am not hurting anyone.

In any case I understand your preference and that you wish he respected your feelings on this matter but when it comes down to it it's his body, yanno? My gf just had a big argument with her dh (they're newlyweds) because she went ahead and pierced her nose. She discussed it calmly with him first but he just kept saying he didn't want her to do it without explaining why besides that he didn't like it. I'm not sure that's a good enough reason. She has been wanting to do it forever but couldn't because of work (she's in a job now that doesn't care what she does re piercings) and before that her parents didn't allow her to do it. So she went ahead and did it. Now her dh is giving her the cold shoulder (mature) but I agree with her that she had every right to do it and it's too bad her dh couldn't sit down with her and have a rational discussion about it.

I'm not comparing your situation with hers but you brought up an interesting topic. Is it OK to do something to your body that might make you less attractive to your spouse/SO? In an ideal world we want both visions to mesh but how often is that going to be 100% the same? I had this discussion with my dh and his perspective is she shouldn't have done the nose piercing because her dh really didn't want her to. I am curious about what PSers think.

Hm ... that's an interesting question. I think it's a matter of degree.

For example: two days ago, I dyed my hair. It's nothing radical - the last inch or so of my three feet of hair is now a deep violet. When I braid it, it looks like I dipped the little tassel of hair on the end in amethyst ink. I think it's fun (and easy enough to cut off, if I tire of it): my husband isn't in love with it, because he figures, go big or go home. He'd prefer a streak, but there's no way I'm dealing with roots, so ... suck it, husband. On the other hand, if I suddenly did a 180 and decided to depilate my whole body? I think he might have a hard time feeling pants-feelings for me, because hairlessness squicks him out considerably more than it does me.

And, likewise ... if my husband ever grew one of those awful little Hitler mustaches on a bet, as a friend did once - he won, but he had to wear it for months on end, talk about your Pyrrhic victories - I think I'd have some harsh words to share, but it wouldn't be a deal-killer. Major body modification like a bifurcated penis, or something? DEAL BREAKER.

That said, unless she's wearing a ring through her nose that's the size of a bull's and its interfering with kissing, I think your friend's husband is out of line for giving her the cold shoulder. It sounds like it was important to her, and it's not exactly an irreversible body mod. I'd put it down to one of those little dominance struggles newlyweds are bound to have ....

 

[amc80]

Is it OK to do something to your body that might make you less attractive to your spouse/SO? In an ideal world we want both visions to mesh but how often is that going to be 100% the same? I had this discussion with my dh and his perspective is she shouldn't have done the nose piercing because her dh really didn't want her to. I am curious about what PSers think.

Interesting debate, to which I can relate. I have long hair and would love to cut it off to right below or at my shoulders. DH has already told me that it would make him mad because he loves my long hair (even though it ends up in a pony tail pretty much every day). I suppose it's my right to do my hair how I want, but to me it isn't worth it....I just don't care enough about cutting it to where it's worth it.

 

[Maria D]

OH MY! I did NOT know that pubic hair thinned out with age! Seriously??? Hahaha, how could I not have heard of this before? I only wax off hair that would show when wearing a bathing suit bottom and I only do that in summer. And summer in Maine is short. So you're telling me in a few years I won't have to bother? I can't figure out if this is good news or not! 'Cause I'm also skeeved by bare pudenda on grown women - did not know that's where I was heading.

My daughter (almost 20) stopped shaving her armpits this year. I was very surprised to see how thick and bushy they got, having never let mine grow out.

 

[missy]

The most important thing to me re body hair is that my man's face is clean shaven cause stubble hurts! And I don't care for beards or moustaches. But I don't mind hairy guys generally though I am not a big fan of back hair. Hmm I think I might be proving your point Kenny. Back to your man. Did he get rid of his body hair for himself or for societal pressures? Cause if he did it for himself I can understand that. I shave my legs and armpits for me. Not because society says I have to. At this point I don't really care what other people do or what the norm is. I do what I want to do as long as I am not hurting anyone.

In any case I understand your preference and that you wish he respected your feelings on this matter but when it comes down to it it's his body, yanno? My gf just had a big argument with her dh (they're newlyweds) because she went ahead and pierced her nose. She discussed it calmly with him first but he just kept saying he didn't want her to do it without explaining why besides that he didn't like it. I'm not sure that's a good enough reason. She has been wanting to do it forever but couldn't because of work (she's in a job now that doesn't care what she does re piercings) and before that her parents didn't allow her to do it. So she went ahead and did it. Now her dh is giving her the cold shoulder (mature) but I agree with her that she had every right to do it and it's too bad her dh couldn't sit down with her and have a rational discussion about it.

I'm not comparing your situation with hers but you brought up an interesting topic. Is it OK to do something to your body that might make you less attractive to your spouse/SO? In an ideal world we want both visions to mesh but how often is that going to be 100% the same? I had this discussion with my dh and his perspective is she shouldn't have done the nose piercing because her dh really didn't want her to. I am curious about what PSers think.

Hm ... that's an interesting question. I think it's a matter of degree.

For example: two days ago, I dyed my hair. It's nothing radical - the last inch or so of my three feet of hair is now a deep violet. When I braid it, it looks like I dipped the little tassel of hair on the end in amethyst ink. I think it's fun (and easy enough to cut off, if I tire of it): my husband isn't in love with it, because he figures, go big or go home. He'd prefer a streak, but there's no way I'm dealing with roots, so ... suck it, husband. On the other hand, if I suddenly did a 180 and decided to depilate my whole body? I think he might have a hard time feeling pants-feelings for me, because hairlessness squicks him out considerably more than it does me.

And, likewise ... if my husband ever grew one of those awful little Hitler mustaches on a bet, as a friend did once - he won, but he had to wear it for months on end, talk about your Pyrrhic victories - I think I'd have some harsh words to share, but it wouldn't be a deal-killer. Major body modification like a bifurcated penis, or something? DEAL BREAKER.

That said, unless she's wearing a ring through her nose that's the size of a bull's and its interfering with kissing, I think your friend's husband is out of line for giving her the cold shoulder. It sounds like it was important to her, and it's not exactly an irreversible body mod. I'd put it down to one of those little dominance struggles newlyweds are bound to have ....

I totally agree with you Circe. It is a matter of degree. Hair cut off- no biggie. Hair color -no matter. Doing something more permanent that I find distasteful-big deal. I also agree that it is a newlywed power struggle most likely though my gf is not about that at all. It's all on his end IMO. He's also young and well, you know all the stuff that goes with that. Very happy I'm not in my 20's. Been there done that and I like where I am right now.

Circe, I bet your new hair color looks very cool. Love what you did!

Is it OK to do something to your body that might make you less attractive to your spouse/SO? In an ideal world we want both visions to mesh but how often is that going to be 100% the same? I had this discussion with my dh and his perspective is she shouldn't have done the nose piercing because her dh really didn't want her to. I am curious about what PSers think.

Interesting debate, to which I can relate. I have long hair and would love to cut it off to right below or at my shoulders. DH has already told me that it would make him mad because he loves my long hair (even though it ends up in a pony tail pretty much every day). I suppose it's my right to do my hair how I want, but to me it isn't worth it....I just don't care enough about cutting it to where it's worth it.

I can relate to this subject too. I have been playing with the idea of cutting my hair short. Not pixie short because my face just doesn't have the right bone structure or features but above shoulders length. As short as I can go and not look ugly. My dh OTOH loves long hair on me (it seems most men like long hair on women-just an informal non scientific observation I am making here) and has expressed his preference for me not to cut it short. However, he has also said that while he prefers me with longer hair he supports my decision to cut it if that is what I decide. Right answer. For now I am not rushing to do anything but I know he sincerely means what he says and if I cut it short he will be cool with that. It is my hair to cut after all. And it will grow back (hopefully lol). But I do like the fact that we are both respectful of what the other's preferences are and we do our best to always be that way regardless of the decision we come to. We factor in what the other one thinks.

 

[yoyosaidfeia]

I lasered everything off about 1.5 years ago. Best decision ever. My hair grows stick straight, and when I trim, they turn into deadly sharp needles that shred tiny holes in the front of my underwear. Lasering was a ton cheaper than waxing, and I don't have to deal with regrowth every month.

OMG That was my original plan, until the laser when down. I was only able to manage my top section, and could not bare the pain on the lower parts. Bravos to you!

I personally do not like hair. I always ask DH to trim, but he always forget when he is in the shower.

 

[kenny]

 

[ForteKitty]

I lasered everything off about 1.5 years ago. Best decision ever. My hair grows stick straight, and when I trim, they turn into deadly sharp needles that shred tiny holes in the front of my underwear. Lasering was a ton cheaper than waxing, and I don't have to deal with regrowth every month.

OMG That was my original plan, until the laser when down. I was only able to manage my top section, and could not bare the pain on the lower parts. Bravos to you!

I personally do not like hair. I always ask DH to trim, but he always forget when he is in the shower.

Advil and numbing cream 1 hour prior to the laser! I didn't take any advil the first time and my goodness the small triangular area right above the hood hurt SO bad. Always took advil after that time! I was lucky that 6 sessions were enough to eradicate everything, and I'm still bare after 1.5 years. They're supposed to start popping back eventually, and will require touch-ups. I HATED my straight pubes. When I used to shave or trim, the hairs used to get so sharp they'd poke into me as they started to grow. Imagine a needle poking at your clit... yeah, F that.

 

[arkieb1]

I lasered everything off about 1.5 years ago. Best decision ever. My hair grows stick straight, and when I trim, they turn into deadly sharp needles that shred tiny holes in the front of my underwear. Lasering was a ton cheaper than waxing, and I don't have to deal with regrowth every month.

OMG That was my original plan, until the laser when down. I was only able to manage my top section, and could not bare the pain on the lower parts. Bravos to you!

I personally do not like hair. I always ask DH to trim, but he always forget when he is in the shower.

Advil and numbing cream 1 hour prior to the laser! I didn't take any advil the first time and my goodness the small triangular area right above the hood hurt SO bad. Always took advil after that time! I was lucky that 6 sessions were enough to eradicate everything, and I'm still bare after 1.5 years. They're supposed to start popping back eventually, and will require touch-ups. I HATED my straight pubes. When I used to shave or trim, the hairs used to get so sharp they'd poke into me as they started to grow. Imagine a needle poking at your clit... yeah, F that.

OMG you must either be the luckiest person alive or have had really strong laser. I had six sessions and within 6 months hair grew back. Then I had a couple more - hair thinned then grew back.... And yes its stings like a B doesn't it, no Advil and no numbing cream here....

 

[Christina...]

Hilarious article!

I'm with fortekitty and let it all go for the same reasons. The first attempt was with Nair
for special sensitive areas. The directions read to leave on for 5 minutes or something like that and then to gently wipe off, if the hair didn't easily wipe away to leave for an additional three minutes, which I did. I began to feel a tingly burning sensation and thought 'it must really be working now!!'....yeah when I wiped it away the second time not only did all the gnarly pubes wipe away but so did the top layer of skin. I spent the next three days slathered in burn cream and sweat pants.. Now I just use those Wahl clippers you can buy from target and shave without using a guard, no worries about razor burn or sharp stubble.

Just a tip for any guys or gals suffering from razor burn...using Secret anti-persperant on your bikini line prevents red bumps and in grown hairs!

 

[monarch64]

I said I'd chime in when I first saw this thread, so here I am.

I have the pigmentation and not-much-body-hair factor of my native American heritage, so don't have to worry too much about eliminating unwanted body hair. A quick shave here and there pretty much does it for me. I've had Brazilian waxes, and even a "Tibetan Bridal Wax" once, but much prefer to use the good old, everyday razor to keep things tamed. Eyebrows? Not a big deal--I tweeze as necessary twice a week or so. I have a thick head of very dark, long hair, but no "neck" hair or mustache, or even nostril hair. (So far!)

Reading through these responses makes me wonder what the heck will happen with my downstairs. I'm already seeing quite a few grey hairs up top...and since there isn't a lot going downstairs, I am worried I'll go grey or bald! I like to have everything (this is gross) ****-trimmed, but thinking about going grey or LOSING it unintentionally just seems weird!

Preferences towards men? I don't know. I didn't like a guy I dated who shaved his chest when I was in college--I got as far as touching his chest and the stubble was so sharp and off-putting that I never went out with him again, but conversely, I went out with another guy during that same time period who I was kissing, and put my hand up the back of his shirt only to discover Sasquatch. Again, promptly said my polite goodbye and never saw him again. I guess some hair is good, no hair is bad, and too much is repulsive, in my book.

 

[Sky56]

It thins out but does not disappear with age. The luxuriant bush that was mine at age 20 is now a former shadow of itself, I'd say two thirds of it is gone, but there is enough left that it's still there at close to age 60. Hair on my head is still very thick. TMI alert.

 

[monarch64]

It thins out but does not disappear with age. The luxuriant bush that was mine at age 20 is now a former shadow of itself, I'd say two thirds of it is gone, but there is enough left that it's still there at close to age 60. Hair on my head is still very thick. TMI alert.

I got a hearty laugh out of this post, Sky56! You're quite descriptive and I love it! Thanks for letting all of us worriers know how it goes.

 

[Enerchi]

Oh Kenny, that is toooo funny!! Competition even in the stone ages!! I love it!

 

[rosetta]

This thread has made me

FYI, bald men don't necessarily have more testosterone, it's just that their hair is more sensitive to one of the by products of testosterone. So don't think that sexy bald head is a sure indication of raging hormones. Sorry folks! And as you know, male sex drive is not just a simple matter of testosterone levels alone: there are always other factors both physical and psychological.

The only thing I will say about my own grooming is thank god I don't have a lot of body hair!

 

[MissStepcut]

Love that link.

I think the intimate grooming debate is much like the circumcision debate. I do think the hygiene argument is pretty bogus, so it really just comes down to culture and personal preference.

I invite you over to check out why you're wrong. Hint: hair can grow in mucous membranes.

 

[JaneSmith]

Guys, you crack me up.
I'm glad I could make some people laugh, it doesn't happen often but I love it when it does.
Fortekitty, your needle pubes had me with tears in my eyes from laughing! Sorry!

I lasered everything years ago. Pits, nethers (everything but a little patch above), and lower legs. Cost a bloody fortune and hurt like hell. I was using numbing cream on the more delicate bits for the last few sessions. Ice packs as well. Anyway, I had over twelve sessions and I must be a super regenerative freak because my legs are somewhat sparse, my women's bits have about a 50% reduction, my pits about a 30% reduction. Still have to shave the pits every day. Legs once a week. Damnit all to hell.

I like it when the hubster trims.

As for ageing, yeah. I've taken care of a lot of elderly people, and let me tell you, what little is left is white or grey. Also, tattoos head south, spread out, and lose their pigment. Boobs migrate to the pits when lying down. Unless you have implants, then you have a sweet little old grandma with fantastic perkies. Guys, gravity is not kind to testicles either. I've seen knee-bangers.
But, by your eighties or so, you'll take it all in your stride. Floppy nude privates are the least of your worries, and often good for a self-deprecating laugh.

I completely disagree with taking young, prepubescent girls or boys for hair removal. Unless they have true medical hirsutism with accompanying self-esteem issues.

I rank this sort of discussion right up there with bathroom habits, so no comment here Interesting read though

Agree. I find PS to be a great place to get many different opinions on subjects that don't often come up in meatspace conversation.

 

[Circe]

Love that link.

I think the intimate grooming debate is much like the circumcision debate. I do think the hygiene argument is pretty bogus, so it really just comes down to culture and personal preference.

I invite you over to check out why you're wrong. Hint: hair can grow in mucous membranes.

I literally do not know what this means, outside of nose hair, and every supposition I can posit scares me. I am sure the google results would scar me for life. (Anecdotally: in an academic community, I once saw someone jokingly say that since they'd celebrated every professional achievement with a piercing, by the time they had tenure, they'd have a fully labial corset! Did I google? Yes. Did I regret it? YES.) But at any rate ... *is* that a hygiene thing? Whenever I hear that argument, it seems to skew more towards the belief that if you're not waxing, you're not washing, either, which seems a bit of. a stretch ....

 

[MissStepcut]

Love that link.

I think the intimate grooming debate is much like the circumcision debate. I do think the hygiene argument is pretty bogus, so it really just comes down to culture and personal preference.

I invite you over to check out why you're wrong. Hint: hair can grow in mucous membranes.

I literally do not know what this means, outside of nose hair, and every supposition I can posit scares me. I am sure the google results would scar me for life. (Anecdotally: in an academic community, I once saw someone jokingly say that since they'd celebrated every professional achievement with a piercing, by the time they had tenure, they'd have a fully labial corset! Did I google? Yes. Did I regret it? YES.) But at any rate ... *is* that a hygiene thing? Whenever I hear that argument, it seems to skew more towards the belief that if you're not waxing, you're not washing, either, which seems a bit of. a stretch ....

There's really no way to delve deeper without TMIing, so everyone can consider themselves duly warned.

It's certainly possible for, oh, a 1/3 inch strip of very thick hair to encroach on mucous membranes. Your nose, of course, is much, um, drier than other mucous membranes you have on other parts of your body. So, you have a fairly dense patch of spongy hair, collecting fluids right in a damp, warm bit of your body. Just sponging it up, all day. I don't really see what washing has to do with anything, really. How many hours a day would you like to sit with... that... in your hair? Not to mention, mucous is not thing one might find themselves dealing with.