he asked me ! he asked me !!!!!!

Croí · Jan 31, 2005

you all are the BEST and sweetest women on earth. truly. it is incredibly, incredibly sad and still just not real. we are waiting to hear about the arrangements.

naturally I also do want to share all my news from home. it was a great trip. I arrived home to banners and a cake saying "Happy Engagement" and balloons and everything (courtesy of my sisters and parents) and I did get some major details worked out though some things are still hanging in the air.

my first choice of venue is not going to work but when I actually went there, it wasn''t quite what I had remembered it to be so that was okay. the second choice (now first choice) seemed like it was going to work like a charm until the marquee guy got in touch with him (after my sister and I had spent an hour with him talking through my plans) and he is not happy with the dimensions of the marquee - but there''s nothing I can do about it, it won''t work in anything smaller. So I''m not sure now where I stand with him and there are some other bits that might be more difficult at this location (for example, it''s right on a main road and I''d be nervous of the children that will be there getting out and onto the roadway) so it would all have to be positioned in one specific way or it just won''t work there either.

However, I did see another place, a third place and liked it a whole lot. I had never even known it existed until my sister told me. From the point of view of privacy and the kiddie angle, it''s ideal. From the point of view that the other two were near the ocean and this is not, it''s not quite what I had had in mind. On the upside it''s a period house and was a hunting lodge in the 1800''s and is all furnished from then and would be LOVELY for photos if not what I originally had in mind.

Finally, it looks like being a two-day affair anyway because the Catholic church (originally didn''t think we would have a church wedding but loads of paperwork/phonecalls and meetings later it actually works out that this is the only option we can go with because a civil ceremony requires us to be resident in the country for longer than we can be there so ........ ) won''t perform marriages on a Sunday so the ceremony would have to be on Saturday but I still want the gathering to be on Sunday so NOW I''m thinking I could take photos after the ceremony with just family (small number for the ceremony, no-one outside of immediate family, so not even 20 people, including the kids) at my original ocean locations and then have all the other pics at the hunting lodge on the Sunday.

Loads to work out still but the paperwork is filed and we are on our way !! I will post pics of all locations .... just one of each place - so you all can see - but I am increasingly thinking this will be how it''ll all go.

And I think it will work out just great !

gingerBcookie · Jan 31, 2005

gingerBcookie · Jan 31, 2005

Welcome back! I''m so sorry to hear about your co-worker, my thoughts will be with you and his family. Wow, looks like you have the wedding planning ball rolling away! Why won''t the catholic church perform weddings on Sunday? Keep us updated with the details...sounds like it will be a lovely wedding!

goldengirl · Jan 31, 2005

Welcome back Caroline!! I''m glad to hear you had a safe and successful trip home!

What a tragedy for your co-worker''s family... his poor wife, I bet she is just shattered right now...

things like that make you remember how grateful you are for your own loved ones, don''t they? ((hugs))

Erin · Feb 8, 2005

Where is this girl anyway? It''s been a week!!!!

blue_chica · Feb 9, 2005

Hi Croi -

It''s nice to have you back, although I''m very sorry to hear about your coworker. I hope that his family gets the support they need.

Your wedding is rolling right along, huh? The new locations/plan sound lovely. Let us know when you''re around again with some more info.

Croí · Feb 9, 2005

SEEKING SOLACE FROM MY GIRLS -

Ladies, before I even begin this post, be warned that it is going to be long and probably full of a lot of ''feeling-sorry-for-myself'' and I know that''s pathetic when I think of the horrible things going on in the world - what have I to bellyache about ? ......... but I can''t help it ..... I feel like ''something'' is trying to make things harder and harder by the day.

okay, when I left you all I was newly-engaged, heading home to my family, ecstatically happy and full of joy.

so much is going on now that I don''t know how we are going to pull this off.

I mean we are planning to marry eleven weeks from this weekend !

as you all know we had the big storm and then the tragic death of our co-worker and friend. that put paid to all of last week, between funeral arrangements, setting up a trust fund for the family, getting information out etc. etc. not to mind the whole ongoing investigation into how the accident happened. The funeral service was on Friday last and it was one of the saddest things I''ve ever been through. Those poor kids. The youngest two had no idea what was going on and even fell asleep during the service. It was, quite literally, heartbreaking.

so all of that was draining and upsetting and we hardly spoke at all of ourselves and our plans. his job is such that he has a lot more responsibility than I do and has been far more stressed through all this. I feel badly trying to pin him down on wedding stuff when I know how awful everything with work is for him right now and what''s hard for me is that there''s no-one to ''blame''. It''s not his fault we had that huge storm and that, due in part to that storm, O. died and that now (just when I hoped we might be able to start to focus on us) there is another blasted storm due for tomorrow and he has to be in work at 5

0AM and get his staff in and all the ''stuff'' that goes along with it, now compounded even more than ever by low personnel morale and fear after what happened to O. working the last storm.

So I am feeling very defeated but I can''t put a finger on who I''m battling --- you know what I mean ??

The other evening he said " I feel like I''m letting you down, I''m trying to get on top of everything so I can spend time going over things with you but it''s just been one hit after another" and I know it''s not his fault and I told him so and I support him and love him and I''m not upset with him or anything like that. In fact I''m worried about him and his lack of sleep and the level of severe stress he is now under due to so many factors converging at once.
I wish I could do something, do more to help him, but I can''t.

I have been trying to do lots of the wedding stuff on my own. I was feeling pretty confident about the third location and we had all but decided on it being ''ideal'' but just a few hours ago I got an e-mail from the owner/manager indicating a CRAZY amount of money that I wouldn''t pay even if I had the money because it''s total highway robbery for basically nothing. All we need from him is the physical ground to put the marquee up and for him to supply the bar (which is where he''d make his money anyway). We are doing all the food, decorating etc. All of that is taken care of. I was speechless when I read the e-mail. I met with this guy twice while I was at home and I got no inkling at all that he was thinking this way - I think he must have spoken to people and decided (and I''m ashamed to say it) that he could take advantage because we''re coming over from the U.S. He seems to forget that I''m from there !
I''m so ....... I just feel beat down.

I don''t know what to do now. I had everything together to make up my lovely invitations this weekend except I was waiting to confirm things with him and now there''s no way we''re going with that location ..... so I can''t do the invites because I don''t know where we''re having our reception.

naturally, we haven''t had a minute to do anymore about a ring either and that is starting to make me a wee bit sad. I knew my engagement was going to be short and that''s okay but I did hope I''d get a ring BEFORE I got married.

and, to top it all off, my co-worker in our office just told me that she''s taking an island vacation (already booked and paid for) on - oh, you guessed it - the first week in May. I don''t know how I''m going to wrangle getting time off when she already put in for it. *sigh*

Now, I have to try to focus on the positive. The good things are -

We are still in love !

We do have a church and things in that regard do seem to be working out. We still have paperwork to submit but hopefully there won''t be any issues with any of that.

We do have phenomenal support at home from my family. One sister (the pastry chef) has already made truffles and frozen them ! She is making all my desserts and my cake. She is great. The others are great too. They are all pitching in and coming up with loads of helpful things and everything. We have so much organised and ready to go but nowhere to actually go to !

I decided after this morning''s e-mail from No. 3 to go back to the other two locations (my first choices anyway) and try to find ways around the issues that made them unsuitable. I e-mailed them both earlier on but due to the time differences and all, I haven''t heard anything back from any of them yet.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED that something works out, comes through for us.

I still would love to meet the local girls and PROMISE to pick myself up and be in better form.
Are you all still on for that ?

and, btw, I haven''t had time to read anyone''s posts and I''m sorry because I AM interested in your lives and stories too - I''m just so busy at work with all the extra work this stupid weather is generating but at the same time I had to write to someone who I knew would understand why I''m feeling blue and very hammered by the ''powers that be'' right now ..............

oh, and PLEASE keep your fingers crossed re: my dresses too. I''m meeting a girl tonight that I hope will make them for me. Hopefully she will agree and that''ll be one good thing and maybe things will start coming back around.

have to get back to work. will try to read all your news soon.

*hugstoeveryone*
C

appletini · Feb 9, 2005

Oh Croi, a big hug from me to you! You have so much going on in your (and fiance''s) life right now. So do this...

1. take a deap breath and count to 10.
2. take a hot bubble bath
3. get a manicure
4. get a massage and facial
5. eat some chocolate and/or ice-cream

okay you should feel like a new and relaxed woman now!

I applaud you for trying to plan a fantastic wedding in such a short time period! And that is so awesome that your sister is a pastry chef! Think about those first two venues that you fell in love with and think outside the box. Do things that bother you, really bother you that much, will it be the worst reception ever...probably not...all that matters is that you are with the man you love and surrounded by friends and family that love and care about you.

If you tell the man at #3 that you are going to look elsewhere, perhaps he realize that he is being absurd in charging you so much and become reasonable (but make sure you have a written contact!).

Also give your loverboy a nice massage and home cooked meal, it will make him feel better too.

As for the ring, ask for the budget and do the leg work yourself, that way it can be exactly what you want, since you will be wearing it everyday for the rest of your life. Go for a Leon and you get it back just in time for your big day.

And feel free to vent on here anytime you need to. Sometimes just getting everything out feels better.

Hugs!

NoonersMom · Feb 9, 2005

Awww Croi, that''s a lot to digest! I am so sorry to hear that this a trying time for you. Couldn''t agree more with Appletini....except I would add....6. Throw some music in the player tonight & drink a glass of wine. 7..Take care of yourself!

As for all matters reception & ER.....would talk to vendor 1 & 2 to see if you can get quotes. Once you have quotes in hand use that as leverage to a....bring down vendor #3 or b....make a final decision with vendor A or B. At the end of the day, once all is said & done, you will be married to the love of your life! It will all work out for you. As they say...que sera sera! Keep the faith!
Regarding ER...agree with Appletini....start doing the research, present options to BF and take it from there. If he''s overloaded, he may appreciate the legwork. Once things settle down for him, then he can switch gears & help you unload.

Hang in there!

Croí · Feb 9, 2005

thanks Apple and NMom - I know you two are right. I appreciate the effort and I am trying (though I can''t afford to treat myself to any of the nice things you all suggested!)

the issue with the first two locations is basically exactly that, where the marquee would have to be located. I am not fussy on our behalf but was concerned from a safety standpoint as there will be about a dozen young children (under seven years old) at our wedding and neither place seemed secure enough to me with regard to having small frys running about. I asked them both if any alternatives could be reached with regard to the positioning of the marquee. If not, then they just won''t work. I refuse to spend my wedding day anxious and stressed that someone else''s child might come to harm - even though I know it''s their parents jobs to watch them, I want the parents to be able to enjoy the day too. Finding a childsafe/childfriendly location was a big part of the search criteria. Location 1 can be cordoned off but I am not sure they''ll agree to losing that much space. I''ll have to wait to hear back.

since I wrote earlier I also e-mailed two hotels even though I didn''t want to do the hotel thing. we''ll see what happens.

and I''ve broken out in a cold-sore.

appletini · Feb 9, 2005

Have you thought about hiring a babysitter(s) to watch over the little ones?

njc · Feb 9, 2005

BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG HUGS!!!!

I second everything apple just said. Take a deep breathe, relax and regroup. Everything will work out for you... dont fret!!! A nice homecooked meal and a nice little massage with some candles burning should help your honey relax. Although i know it can be tough when you just know you have so much to do and you are just so worried about him.

Hope your dresses work out tonight and everything with the reception gets resolved soon. You have more than 2 months... thats plenty of time. Maybe thinking in terms of months will help a little bit with the stress of getting everything done?

blue_chica · Feb 9, 2005

Croi - You poor thing.

You and your fiance are sweethearts, each worrying about the other. I would absolutely love to get together with you and the other locals, and you can rant and rave if you like, or we can focus on something else if that''s what you want (like how great your trip home was!) Also, I''d be more than happy to help you with your invitations or anything else that needs to be done...honestly!

As for the practicalities...definitely get quotes from the first two locations and use them to bargain with the 3rd. He sounds like a twerp though, so get everything in writing.

icekid · Feb 9, 2005

ohh no Croí!

i know it''s MUCH harder said that done, but try not to stress too much! these things always have a way of working themselves out... and no matter what, you are getting MARRIED to the love of your life. and i cannot imagine anything better than that, even it takes a little hard work and sacrafice to get there. and just remember how lucky you are to have such a helpful and supportive family- that can save your butt big time when it comes to last minute planning.

deep breath- you''re going to be married in just over two months! and it will be a happy and glorious day...

just take everything one day at a time and you''ll definitely get there

teebee · Feb 9, 2005

Oh Croi ~ MANY MANY BIG HUGS!!! I was just thinking about you yesterday because I hadn''t see you post lately and I knew you returned home to such a heartbreaking event...

I am just so amazed and inspired by all you have accomplished so quickly ~ so although you are probably feeling overwhelmed, take a deep cleansing breath and remember that you have done so much already!! And don''t feel badly about any of what you are feeling ~ sometimes I really have to remind myself that life just isn''t all "one way" all the time ~ happy events bring stress and tragedy can occur right alongside with the most beautiful times in our lives so we just have to take it all in and experience the best and the worst and deal with it all the best we can... Take care of yourself and take care of each other...

Oh, and I had to tell you, I''m somewhat of a Willie Nelson devotee ~ I FINALLY was able to find and download "Valentine" ~ Oh, how have I not heard that song before????? Wow, it just lights up my heart ~ I have to find a way to incorporate that song into our ceremony or reception somehow... Beautiful, thank you for mentioning it because otherwise I might not have ever found it, or at least not in time to use in in our wedding.

heartsonfire · Feb 9, 2005

Croi, sorry to see you feeling down. I hope you feel better soon. Maybe if you want to grab a cup of coffee I'm just a PM away.
Maybe I can cheer you up a little. It will be more fun as a group too (calling all locals). Like BlueChica said... I also can help you with putting invitations or favors together. I have so much time. I'm still here until end of Feb. Let me know. (((big hugs)))

Blue824 · Feb 9, 2005

Wow...sweetie, you have so much going on right now take apple''s advice and even if you can''t go get all the stuff done at the spa, take a night off and spend it with your guy and just relax & bond.

I also agree with the babysitters, maybe your family knows of some younger girls you could affordably pay to watch & entertain kids for the evening. Where I work we have a seperate room we set up with crayons, pizzas, a VCR and an assortment of movies, that could solve your marquee problem if the kids can''t get to it.

I hope you hear back from those other possible sites soon. Ugh, I can''t believe that guy would try to screw you over because you live in the US now.

It is a short amount of time, but I know you''ll be able to figure it out. You''re lucky you have the support of your family in Ireland to help you! Keep us updated and yes...it will be stressful, but it is going to pay off in the end when you''re finally married to the man of your dreams!

Croí · Feb 10, 2005

good morning all you darling, sweet, wonderful ladies !

Last night I met a girl I used to work with who now works in design and is very creative and into making clothes etc. We had not seen each other in about eight months. Once we got over exchanging sad news (her recent relationship break up and our tragic loss of Hillary) we had a wonderful, fun, giggly girl evening and it was JUST what I needed. She has agreed to take on the task of doing my dress and my bridesmaids dresses !! hoorah ! Even more fun, we''re going to take a day trip to NYC to shop for fabric ! I''m very excited ! I feel like this one positive thing might start helping other things to turn around and become positive too.

Thank you ALL for your kind words and support - it has meant a whole, whole lot. I know things are going to work out and that it''s all going to be wonderful and beautiful and perfect on our big day just because all the best people in our lives are going to be there and we are going to be dedicating ourselves to each other - THAT is what will make it the perfect day.

teebee, I''m so glad you like the song ! I LOVE it and play it a lot, especially now that it has become our ''engagement'' song since we waltzed at home by candlelight to that song on the day he asked me to be his wife. We actually first heard it sung by a girl from home at an Irish festival here. It was so simple and beautiful that I was intrigued right away. It''s on a Willie Nelson album called "Keepsakes" which I have but I think must have been a small release because I never see it anywhere. Anyway, we''re definitely having it for one of our wedding songs though we''re also having "At Last" (Etta James'' version) and "Love Serenade" by The Waifs. (our first song and while not slow for waltzing SAYS exactly how we are and how we feel !!).

I haven''t heard anything back from any of the three locations but I am moving forward with other things and I contacted the marquee guy to assure him that we still want his services even if we end up setting it up in my parents'' back garden (which wouldn''t be bad at all but I know my Mom would stress about everything being right and I don''t want that either !).

So just keep sending those positive vibes - I think they are working !!

appletini · Feb 10, 2005

Croi: I''m so glad that you had a good evening last night. That is so awesome that a friend is making your dress, I think that will make it even more special.

heartsonfire · Feb 10, 2005

Horray for positive news. So happy for you! Those will be beautiful dresses. Have fun in NYC. See you next week on Thu!

Croí · Feb 11, 2005

FINGERS, TOES AND ALL SORTS CROSSED !!!

Okay all, here is the very latest. I heard back today from the owner/manager of the first place I visited ( really, when I''m honest with myself, this is really where I would love to have our day - it faces right down onto the Atlantic ) and he said he will go over the space needed and other considerations and see if we can''t make it work. He said he would get back to me on Monday. Please keep everything crossed that this pans out !! I would be sooooooooooooo deliriously happy if it did !

I am going to do the main part of our invitations this weekend (leaving out the page with the details for the reception since I still don''t know where we''ll be having that !) and I''m so excited to get started on them. I need one more thing to put it together and once I get one done, the rest should be easy. It''s going to be so fun. I plan to scan in a completed one so you all can see it ! I''d like your opinions. (Is that allowed ?) It''s green natural paper with a vellum front and tied with ribbon; only I''m making it two sheets of vellum, picture underneath and text on top and tied with a ribbon and some burgunday raffia (to match the burgundy text) - I''m very excited; I hope they''ll turn out like I picture them in my head.

anyway, please send vibes to the southwest of Ireland so in his brain he''ll think " we can manage this alright " .......... I am nearly afraid to get my hopes up !

hope everyone has a terrific weekend and Valentine''s Day

*hugsgalore*
C

appletini · Feb 11, 2005

Croi: my fingers are crossed...and your invitations sound really neat.

blueroses · Feb 11, 2005

((((((((HUGS)))))))) to you, dear Caroline!!! you have had such a full plate--full to the brim with both joy and tragedy--and I am so glad things are looking up for you! FINGERS CROSSED for good news back from vendor#1 on Monday! And yes, do post the invites--they sound lovely!!

Hang in there and try to at least take a glass of wine/bubble bath break just for YOU this weekend!! We''ve missed you and are glad that maybe the worst is behind....I know how hard it must be coping with your loss while still trying madly to plan. Happy, HAPPY Valentine''s!! It will all come together--the dress kismet is just another example!

Croí · Feb 14, 2005

bouncing for joy !

we got it ! we got the location I wanted !!!! I JUST got the e-mail and I can hardly believe it''s going to ''come true'' just like I have dreamed it !!!!!

What a perfectly perfect start to Valentine''s Day !!!!

HAPPY VALENTINE''S DAY LADIES !!
May yours be as incredibly fantastic as mine just started out to be !!

njc · Feb 14, 2005

YEA CROI!!!!

So happy for you... i knew it would work out!!!

Croí · Feb 14, 2005

AND
I have photos, from when I was back. they are on my laptop at home so I''ll have to post them tonight but I''ll post a few of the church and a few of the pub where the marquee will be set up.

I can''t BELIEVE my luck, this is soooooooooo fantastic !

and my honey is starting his search for my diamond today and then we''ll hopefully go and meet Mark Morrell. I can''t believe all this great stuff is happening to me !!!

Erin · Feb 14, 2005

That''s great news - I''m so happy for you!!!!!

allycat0303 · Feb 14, 2005

Croi!

I thought you would start a new thread about your wedding plans! I was wondering where you were at. It sounds like such a stressful, stressful time for you, but everything will be perfect. A wedding in Ireland... what could be more romantic? And with your dream man! Don''t get to caught up in the details, the location will come through. Breath, try to relax and remember that the engagement is a wonderful period of your relationship so enjoy it (even though it is going to be really short). As for the ring, is your husband to be taking care of it? Gently remind him that you would like to have it soon. I know things are crazy hectic for both of you, but these details are important too!

Hugs! Keep us posted.

Ally

Blue824 · Feb 14, 2005

Oh, croi! Congratulations! It really looks like things are coming together nicely

Can''t wait to see the picture!

Croí · Feb 15, 2005

right - trying to send pics. this one should be the inside of the church. let''s see if I got this right !

he asked me ! he asked me !!!!!!

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