God-daughter is doing online pawn

[doberman]

Sorry, but my mind goes right away to sexual abuse in the home for someone like this. Something hasn't been right for a while there.

 

[nala]

So all her “sex work” is online and she has no physical
contact with others? Kind of like a playboy model only
more explicit? Tbh I can see why she enjoys it. She feels
Like the star of her show. I don’t think she’s harming anyone. Her relatives are the sickos if they are subscribing to her account! That’s a whole other issue.
Hopefully she is smart enough not to get stalked by obsessive fans and tbh, that would be my only concern.

 

[TooPatient]

@Jambalaya one thing you might do is talk to her about safety. Not a judgement on what she is doing or whether you agree or disagree with the type of work. Just the security part in a very limited way.

What I have in mind is something like this:

GD, I know you are doing this work on OF. You are an adult so I don't want tell you it is wrong or right. You'll have to decide what is right for yourself. But I am wanting to make sure you are safe. Since this uses your real name, you would be easy to find if anyone wanted to. The account shows your account at IG which has X, Y, and Z posted which identify very specifically where you will be. Please be careful to blur out addresses and be a bit vague on certain details. I care about you and just want to see you safe! One thing you could try is have a trusted friend do a search on your name and see if they can find where you are.


Anyway, I would be extremely worried too, but, as you say, she is a grown up and you are limited on what you can do to help. One thing I have noticed about some younger people I know is that they don't give a second thought to sharing where they are, when they will be gone, and other details. She might not even be aware that she would be so easy to find. (Not a bad idea for anyone to do a search on their name and see what comes up. Shocking how easy addresses, work locations, and more can be found!)

 

[Arcadian]

I have a niece with an OF and .... its her business as she's a consenting adult. She's not doing anything illegal, she's gone into it with her eyes open. She's also absolutely gorgeous and very very smart.

Her OF pays her way through law school. She's a good student, but not made of money.

My understanding of OF is that you get as naked as you want, basically you can do a foot show if thats all you wanted to do (hey some people are into that)

I only asked about it 1 time. She said she enjoys it, and says its better and safer for her than working at a strip club. (she did work in a club as a bartender)

There's a stigma to it that needs to go away. Everyone who does it isn't down on their luck, some of them do it and have higher aspirations. I have to say it dosen't matter what you think, dosen't matter what I think either. would I do it? probably not because I won't even put competition pictures online....lol

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I opened this thread thinking she was starting an online pawn shop, I was so excited!

I’ll see myself out now….

+1 !!!

 

[Karl_K]

Leaving my opinion one way or another about other aspects.
The danger of this kind of stuff is extreme there are a lot of stalkers out there and she just became a huge target.
Stalkers are not the only ones to worry about pimps/madams looking for new talent is another issue as well as the drug scene associated with the work.
I would be very very very concerned for her safety.

 

[Jambalaya]

So all her “sex work” is online and she has no physical
contact with others? Kind of like a playboy model only
more explicit? Tbh I can see why she enjoys it. She feels
Like the star of her show. I don’t think she’s harming anyone. Her relatives are the sickos if they are subscribing to her account! That’s a whole other issue.
Hopefully she is smart enough not to get stalked by obsessive fans and tbh, that would be my only concern.

It's all under her real name. I can't see the site, because you have to be a subscriber, but apparently there's no search function (so you can't search for any worker or type of worker - like brunette, NYC area, etc.) and the idea is that your existing social media drives people to your OF account. That's why her IG is linked to it. That's how I know about it.

Her relatives are not subscribing!! They follow her on her regular IG.

I don't know yet if she enjoys it. It's just happened.

 

[Jambalaya]

My understanding of OF is that you get as naked as you want, basically you can do a foot show if thats all you wanted to do (hey some people are into that)

Right, but on her regular IG account, her post with the links to her new OF promises that she will be naked, invites everyone to " CUM PLAY" and her images with stickers on her IG account are clearly VERY explicit.

And it's all under her real name, and her workplace, which is a public venue, is on her IG!!!!!

 

[Jambalaya]

@TooPatient, thank you for your response. And thank you to everyone else, as well. I'll tread carefully.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

Not sure I wouldn't have done this at her age if I'd had a nice butt. No chance. However looking at this another way, if a handsome, well-educated young man chose this work instead of a career in which he stretched and learned and grew as a person, I would probably think less of him. If we're equal as women, the same applies to her.
Jambalaya, I applaud your concern. You and I might be around the same age, and this has to be very difficult for you to witness.

 

[Jambalaya]

Not sure I wouldn't have done this at her age if I'd had a nice butt. No chance. However looking at this another way, if a handsome, well-educated young man chose this work instead of a career in which he stretched and learned and grew as a person, I would probably think less of him. If we're equal as women, the same applies to her.
Jambalaya, I applaud your concern. You and I might be around the same age, and this has to be very difficult for you to witness.

This post is so kind, it made my eyes a little wet. Thank you. It is hard, and the question is, who knows where she goes from here? Thin end of the wedge and all that. Together with her history of abuse (it seems that it's still abuse even if she doesn't recognize it as such), I'm feeling worried about her general life outcomes in the future.

 

[Redwoods-hiker-girl]

This post is so kind, it made my eyes a little wet. Thank you. It is hard, and the question is, who knows where she goes from here? Thin end of the wedge and all that. Together with her history of abuse (it seems that it's still abuse even if she doesn't recognize it as such), I'm feeling worried about her general life outcomes in the future.

@Jambalaya, I have three nieces, and my heart would shatter if any of them chose to do something like this. I understand where you're coming from.

 

[marymm]

This post is so kind, it made my eyes a little wet. Thank you. It is hard, and the question is, who knows where she goes from here? Thin end of the wedge and all that. Together with her history of abuse (it seems that it's still abuse even if she doesn't recognize it as such), I'm feeling worried about her general life outcomes in the future.

OP, if you truly were as worried and concerned as you say, why are you deliberately choosing to wait 6 months before talking to GD? If you're worried about her, then step up and tell her you're worried about her safety. It is not intrusive to ask her if she has taken security precautions etc. since she is on a public internet platform ... you don't even have to reference "pawn" in your conversation with her.

Maybe you'd also like to schedule some get-together time with her, to visit with one another ... and to keep your bond with her intact so that she knows you love her and are in her corner, and that you're not, say, judging her negatively or thinking poorly of her.

 

[Jambalaya]

^^ Marymm, because I'm scared of alienating her and because her parents have already been on her back. I'm afraid that one more older person in her life who tries to talk to her about this will be met with the hand. I was going to show tacit acceptance by not rushing to have a discussion with her. Low-pressure, you know?

You think I should talk to her sooner? Now, or maybe three months? I don't really know what to do.

It's occurred to me today that this might be a way of trying to fight some demons from her past.

 

[Jambalaya]

@Jambalaya, I have three nieces, and my heart would shatter if any of them chose to do something like this. I understand where you're coming from.

Thank you. That means a lot to me. Just the thought of someone speaking to her harshly makes my heart constrict. And online clients can certainly verbally abuse.

 

[Jambalaya]

I think I've figured out why I hate the idea of s*x work so much: It's because it seems completely soul-less to me. To give sexual services, of any kind, to a man that you would never choose to sleep with or otherwise share your body with, is the ultimate depressing scenario. Even if you're hooking up, it's because you want to do it with THAT person. The idea of s*x as transactional is so depressing I can't describe it.

 

[seaurchin]

I think I've figured out why I hate the idea of s*x work so much: It's because it seems completely soul-less to me. To give sexual services, of any kind, to a man that you would never choose to sleep with or otherwise share your body with, is the ultimate depressing scenario. Even if you're hooking up, it's because you want to do it with THAT person. The idea of s*x as transactional is so depressing I can't describe it.

I don't have anything invested in nor much knowledge about the topic of sex work. I respect your feelings above. As we see on here, people can feel surprisingly differently about just about anything.

For ex, I am an old married bat and don't need money so this is strictly theoretical. That said, if I had really needed money and decided to have sex with some guy to get it, I doubt I'd lose any sleep over it tbh (assuming no additional factors like him being repulsive or the typical dangers that a streetwalker would face).

I think what generation and place you come from and so on also figure into how we see things. I do also feel far less "anything goes" when it comes to my own grown kids than I would in general.

I'm sure there's all sorts of ugliness connected with sex work, whether what actually goes on or from the larger environment.

On the other hand, I do not like the idea that if I, a grown and free person, had ever decided to use my own body for sex work, that I could actually be arrested for it. From another perspective, if I was ever ill long term, for ex., I could see wanting to give my husband a "hall pass" and would far prefer it to be "a paid service."

So, IDK. Lots to think about there but mostly I'm just glad it's not an issue I have to deal with. I hope your god daughter finds her way.

 

[Jambalaya]

Lots of good points, seaurchin. Yes, there are circs as you describe above where it might be OK. Thanks for a calm and thoughtful post!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Another thing about the site, apart from basically forcing you to use your real name, is that it creates "relationships" between you and your subscribers. Yes, there's a lot of free pawn in the internet, but apparently this site is about creating special content for subscribers, and you send them text messages and basically strike up a "relationship" with them, which they pay for. I can't imagine any environment more ripe for gaining stalkers.

It doesn't sound very safe
im thinking this is your major concern for your God daughter
Hopefully its a phase and she'll move on long before anything not nice happens
As the God mother i guess its possibly your job to pick up the pieces if need be afterwards

 

[Jambalaya]

^^ No, it doesn't sound very safe. Thanks for your concern, D&D! I do wish she had a job that she loved and could do safely.

 

[Arcadian]

Right, but on her regular IG account, her post with the links to her new OF promises that she will be naked, invites everyone to " CUM PLAY" and her images with stickers on her IG account are clearly VERY explicit.

And it's all under her real name, and her workplace, which is a public venue, is on her IG!!!!!

Where I can understand that makes you upset but you have to also step back and let her live her life. If you said something and she said she's going to do what she wants, what does it accomplish? Not much, maybe heartburn on your account.

So yeah hate to say it but even if she's putting out that info, she's grown. Its dumb to do, but she's grown. Her IG is her's and she obvs doesn't care if family sees it agrees or disagrees so...there you go.

All of my nieces do things I don't agree with and hell yeah they totally overshare, but, they're grown women who grew up with the internet. They have different expectations and perceptions of it than we do.

As much as we love them, we can't wrap them in cotton to keep them away from the world. I sincerely hopes that she doesn't regret doing that but, its her call as an adult of sound mind.

 

[Jambalaya]

Thanks for the kind post, @Arcadian. The truth is, I have absolutely no idea what to do. You're totally right that it's her life.

 

[Gussie]

Unless people would be totally OK with their own daughter being a s*x worker - of any kind - then they shouldn't think it's OK for any other woman to do, either.

I haven't been on ps in a few while but stumbled on this thread today. Wow! HO is hopping!

Regarding the above quote, I am curious to know how many of the commenters advocating for sex workers actually have children.

FWIW, I am absolutely not ok with either of my daughters or son going into this line of business. I guess I am ok with others doing it but I really just choose to look the other way. That sounds awful I know but it's my truth. I am very libertarian in my beliefs but I draw the line with my own children (and other loved ones).

 

[Rhea]

@Gussie So, you're not okay with it, that's understandable. There are a lot of thing I advocate for which (touch wood) haven't touched my family.

You're not okay with it, again that's completely understandable, but what would you DO if it was your adult child? Because let's be real, there's really nothing you can do.

Some people on this thread are purposely confusing someone saying, back off, she's an adult who is free to make her own choices, with being "totally OK with their own daughter being a s*x worker". Those two things often aren't the same thing even though OP has spent the last 5 pages trying to convince us all they are.

I don't have any direct experience yet, but my mum and aunt regularly bond over their difficult L children (both have L names). The adults whose choices they don't agree with, but who they also know the only way to be involved in their chaotic lives is to back off and not judge.

 

[Gussie]

@Gussie So, you're not okay with it, that's understandable. There are a lot of thing I advocate for which (touch wood) haven't touched my family.

You're not okay with it, again that's completely understandable, but what would you DO if it was your adult child? Because let's be real, there's really nothing you can do.

Some people on this thread are purposely confusing someone saying, back off, she's an adult who is free to make her own choices, with being "totally OK with their own daughter being a s*x worker". Those two things often aren't the same thing even though OP has spent the last 5 pages trying to convince us all they are.

I don't have any direct experience yet, but my mum and aunt regularly bond over their difficult L children (both have L names). The adults whose choices they don't agree with, but who they also know the only way to be involved in their chaotic lives is to back off and not judge.

Great point! I completely understand that I cannot control anything or anyone. Thankfully I haven't had to experience this with any loved one. I know that I would not be ok with it and I own that. I would still love my kids unconditionally, no matter what. Although I cannot say that I wouldn't try to convince them to walk another path as I don't believe in my heart it is good for women. I try very hard to not judge others - what they do is none of my business. I am however a realist and this line of work is still not acceptable to many people.

 

[Jambalaya]

^^ I am not OK with my GD doing this work, and I own that, too, together with my feelings about s*x work in general. I think it's a horrible way to make a living, and some posters here who have said they support it as a choice are, to me, coming from a place of huge privilege. In their world where nothing bad happens, they simply can't seem to fathom the realities of s*x work for the majority of workers. The beatings, the abuse, the stalkers, the coercion, the exploitation. I wish we had some healthcare workers and police on here who could tell them what happens to s*x workers, and the fact that the vast majority are struggling with addiction or other problems, and that this drives them into it, far from it being a free and empowering choice.

I once went out with a posh man who also could not fathom what the real world was really like. Simply could not accept the other side of life. I see some of that here. The fantasy of s*x work being empowering and a free choice is, in WAY too many cases, just a fantasy. Not saying it can't happen, but I don't believe it happens that much. The industry is sleazy and dangerous.

I like the Nordic model of decriminalization, where it's legal to sell s*x services, but it's illegal to buy them. This means that the workers can get easier access to healthcare and they don't have to fear the police.

I think some posters here may not realize that part of the attraction for many who buy s*x is the element of control. They seek it out because they GET OFF on the fact that the woman probably isn't enjoying it. The nature of s*x work tends to attract certain types of customer, and way too often, they're not people you would ever want near you. Perhaps some here should read the stories of former workers.

This hippy-dippie, naive, pink-and-fluffy vision of respect, empowerment, and free choice in s*x work is straight out of LalaLand. Doesn't anyone CARE about the fact that most s*x workers are desperately abused and do it because they are short on good choices?

if you support this industry, then you are anti-woman. How about giving women real alternatives to the nightmare of s*x work?

 

[lovedogs]

"If you support the industry you are anti woman" has to be one of the most absurd statements I've heard in a long time. What a miserable and narrow perspective. Never mind all of the facts and research that say decriminalization is the best way forward. Just continuing to word vomit nonsensical things as "facts" 6 pages later (on this thread, which is 1 of 3).

 

[Jambalaya]

^^@lovedogs, why don't you address some of the real points that I bring up, instead of just rejecting everything and being rude?

What do you think of the points I mentioned about the high rates of negatives outcomes and experiences that I pointed out above? And the fact that an ideal s*x work situation isn't impossible but is not common?

What do you think about the high rates of abuse suffered by the workers? What do you think of my point about the type of client that s*x work too-often attracts?

And what do you think of the Nordic model of decrim? I support it, because it means the workers can't be penalised and can get easier access to support and healthcare, but it's easier to prosecute customers for abuse, because you can haul them in just for doing it. So you have a reason to hold them while you question them about abuse charges. And the worker has no reason not to go to the police.

In an ideal world, women would have better choices. Seriously, how many women do you think would remain in s*x work if they won the lottery? Maybe some, but probably hardly any.

 

[Jambalaya]

all of the facts and research that say decriminalization is the best way forward

I haven't read all the research, but I doubt if it's true that all say it's the way forward. And at least some research supports the Nordic method of decrim.

Reading some accounts of ex-workers might personalize the issue a bit for you. So many have had terrible times.

I strongly believe that we need to offer women better options than becoming s*x workers. Mental-healthcare, addiction recovery, free vocational job training and free housing while they train would be a great start. If I was hugely rich, I would start charities aimed at getting women who wanted to leave s*x work the opportunity to do so.

 

[Jambalaya]

^^ In other words, my opinion is that we shouldn't strengthen the cage - we should OPEN the cage!

But I support the Nordic decrim model, since apparently no government cares enough to actually help these poor women. (Talking about the many who are having a terrible time in s*x work, not the empowered unicorns.)