E-ring Setting/Sizing help/suggestions

[shemmy]

Been a lurker for months as I've contemplated the step of purchasing an engagement ring for my GF. I'm hoping that a few of you awesomely intelligent members can help me with some feedback and suggestions.

First one pertains to the setting. A little background on my GF's tastes. She likes simple bands (but more detail than a plain solitaire), likes infinity designs, dislikes halo settings (or overly busy settings in general), and only white gold. Her faith is a huge part of her life, so the setting having a good "meaning" or representation means a lot. Stone shape will be round, cushion, or oval (leaning towards oval). She actually doesn't have a preference for cut, but her luck with jewelry damage is such that I want to stay away from sharp pointed cuts just in case. I'll settle on stone once I've picked the setting.

I've come across this setting as closest to perfect for what I want...
https://www.brilliantearth.com/Eden-Diamond-Ring-White-Gold-BE1D0832-4105801/

I love the detail in the gallery that is a bit hidden, but adds more intrigue when noticed combined with the infinity style. The infinity, vine/growing detail, and even the name hit all the boxes for a setting that not only looks beautiful but has wonderful symbolism as well.

With that being said, I'm not exactly a fan of having to pay a premium for a BE diamond, particularly with the controversy swirling around them. I've looked for similar settings from other sources and haven't found anything with similar details. I'd contemplate getting the setting and stone from different sources, but everything I've read says you shouldn't and only asking for trouble. Has anyone ever seen a setting similar to this anywhere else? Has anyone ever bought a stone and setting separately and had it set?

Now for issue 2 is trying to guess her ring size. She knows I'm probably looking, but pretty much refuses to have her ring size checked when ever I make her wander through a jewelry store. That being said I've done my detective work. She already wears 6 rings daily (unfortunately none on her left ring finger) and I wanted to get a cute replacement for one this past Christmas. I used the opportunity to buy a ring sizer stick, as well as sneak all the rings she wears out to be sized in a jewelry store (to verify the stick sizes). So these are the fingers (1 is left pinky, 10 is right pinky) that I have sizes for (x is no size)....
--1---2---3---4---5------6---7---8---9---10
x x 6.5 5.5 7 8 7 x 5.5 x

Of course it couldn't be simple where her left hand is exactly a size smaller than her right. Of note is the size 7 on her right hand is a very wide band ring, meaning a 6.5 might be a more accurate fit for a narrow band (like the other 5 rings are) I'm guessing a 5 would be closest enough in size to fit on the day of the proposal, but not so huge to risk falling off for the few days until it could get sized appropriately. Does that seem like a reasonable guess? Any feedback would be a great help. I know to err on the side of too big than too small, because that would be an awkward moment. Just would like her to be able to wear it without worrying about it falling off or spinning horribly at first.

Thanks all for any feedback or suggestions you might have.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Ugh, can you ask her mother? It would be best to have the correct size. I guess a 5 is a good guess if 5.5 is the right hand ring finger.

Any good ring maker can reproduce that design. It is not so original to have a problem copying it. We may be able to find that setting elsewhere anyway, but I'd recommend David Klass to make it if not. If she likes white metals, I'd recommend platinum as it doesn't need plating like white gold does. The plating on white gold wears off and it's yellowish underneath and has to be replated. Platinum just needs polishing every few years if it gets scratches.

I also am going to recommend a round because a well cut round is going to beat out almost any oval as far as light performance and sparkle. It is far easier to find a well cut round, too. We can help you do that when you are ready.

My daughter's e-ring was a little large and this is what we bought so she can wear it. Rings shouldn't be sized to fit in cold weather because they will fit tighter in hot weather, so you don't want to size down too small. Please note that the included polishing cloth is for silver only..do not use on white gold or platinum.

https://www.amazon.com/Adjuster-Gua...ing+snuggies&qid=1552601576&s=gateway&sr=8-14

 

[shemmy]

How will the cost reflect a custom made ring vs the BE setting? I would imagine it would run more expensive than the BE cost.

I completely understand the benefit of platinum, but considering she wears 6 other rings daily that are white gold won't the platinum one look just "off" enough? Especially as platinum fades to a dull patina and the other rings slowly yellow before getting the rhodium re-done? I also have to contend with the only direction she's ever specifically given me on jewelry is "I only like white gold".

I know we could use a temporary spacer, but I know she would rather pay to resize the ring than wear one permanently.

 

[tyty333]

James Allen makes something similar but it does not have the lovely gallery like the one from BE. I think the BE setting is pretty.
I second David Klass. The ring might be a little more having it custom made but I dont think it will be a lot more. I'm thinking
a couple of hundred dollars more which hopefully you will more than make up on the stone by getting it from somewhere other than
BE.

I would probably go with 5 1/4 if you want to stay on the bigger side. Its somewhat a guessing game though.

James Allen's design...
https://www.jamesallen.com/engageme...infinity-solitaire-engagement-ring-item-53313

tighter weave and no pretty basket
https://www.jamesallen.com/engageme...old-rope-solitaire-engagement-ring-item-52624

 

[shemmy]

So an update to my search.

I accompanied my GF on a trip to the jewelry store when she was having her rings cleaned and inspected. I got the salesperson to convince her to get her finger measured. She's most likely a 4.75, but a 5 will almost guarantee to fit and not be too loose regardless of how her fingers are the day of the proposal (swollen, etc). So one variable down.

After sizing I convinced her to take a real look at settings (including trying them on) and she found a couple that she "liked" but definitely wasn't wide eyed about. We then spent the evening scrolling through tons of online settings (including the one I had kind of picked) and she really didn't like any of them (including my pick )

Things I've learned:
1. She really doesn't like oval cuts, so it will be round, cushion, or possibly princess (but would really depend on the setting for that one).
2. Definitely doesn't like halos, but likes busier settings than I thought. Mainly because the ring she wears on her middle finger for that hand is a channel set infinity style and she doesn't want the e-ring to be overshadowed.
3. Definitely prefers channel set to pave mainly because she fears she'll knock the stones out (or that the settings sometimes look "older"), though this is not as hard a fast preference as I once assumed.
4. Hates Beading
5. Doesn't like settings that feel "uneven". I don't buy this entirely as some settings she kind of liked still felt that way, but hey it's what she says she likes.
6. Regardless of overpaying for the setting she wants the ring to have a service plan at a B&M store like her other rings. She likes the piece of mind of going in, cleaning them, inspecting them, and having them fixed if needed (and she loses stones from her rings constantly it seems).

After all that searching we came across two settings that she was definitely on the "really like these" level. Both ended up at Jared.
https://design.jared-diamonds.com/Item/R999563221403/sc
I actually like the way this setting looks better, but the fact that all the stones in the setting are "Hearts Desire" cuts make it needlessly expensive.
https://design.jared-diamonds.com/design-a-ring/setting-detail/item12001/
This one is cheaper, but for me just doesn't seem to be that "wow". She likes both settings equally, so I really would be picking between the one I like the look of better vs cost.

That being said I've scoured every online setting I could find to see if I could find similar, and anything that's been close she has just been "eh" in response.

So I'm left with a couple of options:
1. Buy one of the settings at Jared and get an online bought stone (my eyes popped out of my head with the cost hikes for stones in the store), and then have it set at Jared with a service plan.
2. See if they can do a custom setting similar to the first style, but with less expensive side stones and then the rest of option 1 (don't know if this would make that style setting cheaper or not)
3. See if I can have a custom setting made similar to those above, and have a purchase a third party service plan that gives her the piece of mind she wants.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Any continued help would be appreciated.

 

[bludiva]

i would advise everyone and anyone against buying from Jared for both quality concerns & ethical concerns
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/23/magazine/kay-jewelry-sexual-harassment.html


I'd take a look at Gabriel & Co if I were you, they have a lot of settings with the same kind of swirly style
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-rings/free-form-engagement-rings

Then find a jeweler who is an authorized retailer, they will likely have an extended warranty you can purchase but you could also just insure the ring in case a stone falls out etc. Most jewelers will include free cleanings and prong checks etc. with purchase. If you are located near a Diamonds Direct store they will likely have some for you to check out in person.

Someone here had a fiancee who liked a setting from Jared, he something similar custom made better than the original...that's always an option though custom has its own challenges

Sorry to be a debbie downer but I always thought Jared, Kays, etc. were shady in terms of their selling practices, what came out about how they treat their employees just makes me ill.

 

[Kaycee2018]

My only advise is please, please, please do not buy at Jared...or any of those chain/mall stores. Not only because your be overpaying, you will get subpar stones and a subpar setting. There are also countless allegations of those stores swapping out stones, charging for service allegedly covered under their plans, etc. Please look up reviews. Nothing in those stores is worth your hard earned money.

Also, you don’t need a service plan. Any reputable independently owned jeweler will clean check and service your ring...sometimes even free of charge. But even paying the nominal fee they charge is better than any service plan offered by those chain/mall stores.

GL

 

[pinklemonadegurl]

Wow-you are thorough . Seems like she likes more than one idea in a stone, and setting. Are you surprising her? Sounds like she is particular? I just received my WF custom setting and stone two weeks ago-the setting was NOT expensive to have it custom made. I had VERY specific parameters-2.0mm to 1.8mm beside the prongs, double claw prongs, 18wg, bead set teeny stones, etc, etc....They hit the mark and blew it out of the park! I am thrilled with my ring, and especially my stone. Given that most of us here would steer you AWAY from b&m jewelers, you need to decide if one of those Jared settings is "the" setting(I think they are both pricey given the quality melee that will likely be used in them) and you can surely find an online stone with the expertise here. Did you mention ct. weight, cut, clarity, colour you are seeking? Or a stone budget? That would help the experts here. I suggest you find the stone first, and ask the vendor sharing those pics what it will cost to recreate. Decide on a shape first(round, princess, cushion) and go from there? Just my thoughts as even though you've provided a lot of input, her desires are still kind of all over place. Everyone on PS is wonderful-you have come to the right place for happy assistance

 

[lovedogs]

I would go with a round stone since that will be easiest to find and give you the most sparkle/fire. For the setting, Please please don't buy from any of the mall stores. The quality will be worse, stones may fall out, etc. You can get something she likes from Gabriel co (recommended above), or have something custom. Either way, any of those options are a million times better than Jared/Kay/Zales.

 

[ringo865]

Read @sledge ’s story of recreating the “perfect” Jared ring for less money way in better quality and having a Brian Gavin blue diamond set in it.

 

[lovedogs]

Here are a few that might kind of work:
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/er10315w44jj

https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/er7221w44jj

https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/er14419r6w44jj

 

[sledge]

Thanks for tagging me @ringo865. This entire story sounds very similar to my own. Even down to your girl liking the twisty settings, no halo, etc. And especially the "I don't like this, but then likes the thing she said she didn't like".

This feels like forever ago now. However, here are the threads detailing my own journey. I think most people got invested in my journey on the 4th thread below. However, there are some settings you may find that you like in the other 3 threads. Lots and lots and lots of suggestions were made before we got to the final solution.

1. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/need-some-help-w-setting.240400/

2. https://www.pricescope.com/communit...ope-need-input-on-this-diamond-please.240443/

3. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/picking-the-setting-take-2.240587/

4. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/dk-bgd-custom-setting-the-home-stretch.240843/

This was my first custom ring, and thankfully my girl freaking loves it! We just got married a few weeks ago and there was a period where she didn't have her ring as I was having DK make a custom matching wedding band and soldering it together (per her request). She missed it something terrible and told me how great it felt to have "her ring" back on her finger, lol.

I'd absolutely recommend working with DK to create a QUALITY custom setting. Not being rude, but in comparison the stuff at Jared's is just subpar, and over priced.

If you need help, tag me and I will be glad to help you with CAD's, etc. I'll even lasso a few friends like @rockysalamander and @farrahlyn into the game, and we'll have a blast.

FYI, my girl also preferred white gold. I wanted platinum for her because it's maintenance free, and I actually like the patina. But she wanted the shiny. DK has a custom white gold/palladium alloy that does NOT require rhodium replating. It was a great solution for us. Also, with the particular design of her ring, DK actually recommended the WG/palladium mix over platinum.

Let me know if I can help further.

 

[pinklemonadegurl]

@sledge Wow, sooo similar to what Gemmy wants for his FF. Beautiful! You did your homework. Congrats on your marriage. Best wishes

 

[farrahlyn]

Thanks for tagging me @ringo865. This entire story sounds very similar to my own. Even down to your girl liking the twisty settings, no halo, etc. And especially the "I don't like this, but then likes the thing she said she didn't like".

This feels like forever ago now. However, here are the threads detailing my own journey. I think most people got invested in my journey on the 4th thread below. However, there are some settings you may find that you like in the other 3 threads. Lots and lots and lots of suggestions were made before we got to the final solution.

1. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/need-some-help-w-setting.240400/

2. https://www.pricescope.com/communit...ope-need-input-on-this-diamond-please.240443/

3. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/picking-the-setting-take-2.240587/

4. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/dk-bgd-custom-setting-the-home-stretch.240843/

This was my first custom ring, and thankfully my girl freaking loves it! We just got married a few weeks ago and there was a period where she didn't have her ring as I was having DK make a custom matching wedding band and soldering it together (per her request). She missed it something terrible and told me how great it felt to have "her ring" back on her finger, lol.

I'd absolutely recommend working with DK to create a QUALITY custom setting. Not being rude, but in comparison the stuff at Jared's is just subpar, and over priced.

If you need help, tag me and I will be glad to help you with CAD's, etc. I'll even lasso a few friends like @rockysalamander and @farrahlyn into the game, and we'll have a blast.

FYI, my girl also preferred white gold. I wanted platinum for her because it's maintenance free, and I actually like the patina. But she wanted the shiny. DK has a custom white gold/palladium alloy that does NOT require rhodium replating. It was a great solution for us. Also, with the particular design of her ring, DK actually recommended the WG/palladium mix over platinum.

Let me know if I can help further.

What a blast from the past @sledge i went through and read all your posts again! I still can't get over how much like the inspiration ring the end result is but how much more refined and elegant it is at the same time.

@shemmy I agree, your FF seems to want something very similar to @sledge. I think you're looking at a bypass setting that is symetrical. there are a LOT of suggestions on the threads sledge included. A couple that stood out to me:

Maevona Poppy
https://www.maevona.com/ring-detail.html?rid=4947

Maevona Fern
https://www.maevona.com/ring-detail.html?rid=760

Maevona Lily
https://www.maevona.com/ring-detail.html?rid=1140

Gabriel settings:
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER10315W44JJ?cjevent=3fa4c73d6c1f11e981d401ad0a240611

https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER4309W44JJ?cjevent=3ffa6acf6c1f11e9812301b90a240613

https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER14510R4T44JJ?cjevent=403b60ac6c1f11e9839701bb0a240610

https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER14465R4W44JJ?cjevent=40d0030f6c1f11e981d101c30a240614

https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER14466R4W44JJ?cjevent=41450c136c1f11e981d101c30a240614

So, due to her preferences on wanting to have it serviced locally, on any of these, i'd suggest purchasing a stone online and having it set locally. NOT at a mall store, find a local jeweler to source the setting from and set the stone for you. You'll want to look into putting insurance on the stone before setting it. Check HERE for jewelers that are PS recommended that may be local to you. Brian Gavin and Whiteflash are both in Houston and lots of others in NY and LA listed. If you don't see one near you, ask around. If you see a Maevona setting you like, you can search their page for a local B&M store that sells their settings.

 

[shemmy]

This is a "thank you" response and a "bear with me as I spend a ton of time going through your advice and suggestions"(wow a ton, thank you again) placeholder.

First, I know the feedback about B&M stores in general. As I said I was in shock at the prices (when compared to the specs of the diamond) when we were trying to find temp stone to try in the those settings. I've always known online was better purchase. If she wasn't so enamored with her service plan I wouldn't even think twice about it. I guess the idea of designing a ring (and her possibly not liking it) has seemed pretty daunting. As of now I'm about 7 weeks out from when I would need the ring prior to the planned proposal date. Is that still enough for a custom ring?

Budget wise I've been thinking around $7-8k, but like most will go upwards if I think it's the perfect situation.

Stone size I'm definitely thinking at least 1 and most likely around 1.25. I think any smaller and the stone won't stand out with the kind of setting she likes and anything larger will feel too big (in her mind).

On to looking through the trove of information... Thank you all again!!

 

[shemmy]

Just to give context, here is a picture of the one setting next to the ring she will be wearing on the finger next to it. FYI, I'm so sorry this picture came out HUGE

Additionally she seems to dislike split shank styles with the e-ring (despite liking the look for other rings) because she thinks they look "too thin and fragile". Again things she likes and dislikes all at the same time.

 

[shemmy]

@sledge some quick thoughts as I go through (don't want to forget something as I continue my research). My gf wears 7 other rings, all white gold. She really wants white gold so that the ring matches the other. How does the wg/palladium mix seem to go along side wg jewelry? (if you even know).

Does DK create the ring, then send it to you to have the stone set? or do you purchase the ring and have it sent to him for setting?

For others referencing getting a setting and stone and having it set. Issue I run into is that I am currently in the Philadelphia area and she just moved to the Arlington area (northern VA). If all goes as planned we'll be living in the in northern VA area. So how does it work with setting a ring one city (near me) and then having it serviced in another? Again, one of the only reasons I've entertained a B&M chain store. Again, unless I blow her mind with the perfect ring her future thoughts are all going to be about "how the hell do I get this serviced". I know her and I know how she thinks with service plans on different objects. Shes the kind of person that ONLY takes her car to the dealer for service no matter how cheaper it would be somewhere else (as an example).

Ok, back to research....

 

[shemmy]

(since it won't let me edit post #15 anymore)

I'd say H would be my bottom for color, and again it will depend a bit on specific stone and the setting. I've seen H's look great and then others look quite yellow. Probably will be looking for a G. Rather not get to F and sacrifice the cost for other aspects like size, cut quality and clarity just to get a slightly more shade of "colorless".

 

[bludiva]

7 weeks is tight for a custom ring but depends on the jeweler, mine was done in 2. Also, there are good b&ms and bad b&ms ...we bought our stone online and had the setting made locally and the jeweler has done free cleanings and prong checks since

 

[JPie]

6. Regardless of overpaying for the setting she wants the ring to have a service plan at a B&M store like her other rings. She likes the piece of mind of going in, cleaning them, inspecting them, and having them fixed if needed (and she loses stones from her rings constantly it seems).

I wonder if you could persuade her to go the custom and/or online route if you pointed out that constantly losing stones isn't necessarily a sign that she needs a service plan - it might be a sign that the jeweler's craftsmanship is shoddy!

 

[lovedogs]

I wonder if you could persuade her to go the custom and/or online route if you pointed out that constantly losing stones isn't necessarily a sign that she needs a service plan - it might be a sign that the jeweler's craftsmanship is shoddy!

All of this.

 

[sledge]

Is $7-8k your all in budget with stone and setting? Or just stone only? For reference, I bought my wife a 0.867 H VS2 from BGD for just a hair less than $5k. E-ring was close to $2k and custom matching wedding band was another $1k.

Going GIA XXX I might have saved a little bit but honestly I wanted quality above all else and had a flexible budget. I was originally going to get her a 2 carat stone but she said that was too big. Tried talking me into 1/2 carat and we settled at almost 0.90 carat.

I think 7 weeks is tight but it kind of depends on the jeweler doing the ring. DK pulled off the wedding band in a week or so. The e-ring took quite a bit longer but I was rather proactive. Also how well you or don't communicate details to them will come into play. If this is a consideration you need to reach out ASAP and ask their current lead time.

As far as the process, I bought thr stone from BGD first and had them hold in their secure vault as I did the design. Once we got close BGD (in TX) shipped directly to DK (in CA) who set the stone and then shipped to me across the country. All via FedEx insured deliveries. Even towards the end we were running tight on time so DK sent to my now in laws instead of my house (a few hours away from my hometown) as I formally proposed publicly in our hometown.

Point blank, these guys bend over backwards to make you happy and are highly recommended for their quality, fair prices and outstanding customer service.

Wife doesn't wear a ton of jewelry so hard for me to say how it blends with other stuff but no obvious clashes with her limited collection.

Last but not least, my wife also liked the idea of a store she could go to for regular servicing and cleaning. Once we got the ring I found a local Diamonds Direct who we go to for cleanings and they let me borrow their high powered scopes for inspections. I made friends with the manager our first visit. LOL, he actually tried to hire me as he enjoyed talking shop so much with me. Either way, each time I go in I offer to pay but it's always free.

We did need a repair as wife bent a prong. I contacted DK and they sent me a label to send back and the repair and shipping was all free.

This has worked well for us. My wife likes the story that goes with her ring and now loves the fact it didn't come from a local jeweler.

But I do believe that WF has a service plan for 2 years for a few hundred bucks if you go that way.

 

[kmoro]

After all that searching we came across two settings that she was definitely on the "really like these" level. Both ended up at Jared.
https://design.jared-diamonds.com/Item/R999563221403/sc
I actually like the way this setting looks better, but the fact that all the stones in the setting are "Hearts Desire" cuts make it needlessly expensive.
https://design.jared-diamonds.com/design-a-ring/setting-detail/item12001/
This one is cheaper, but for me just doesn't seem to be that "wow". She likes both settings equally, so I really would be picking between the one I like the look of better vs cost.

That being said I've scoured every online setting I could find to see if I could find similar, and anything that's been close she has just been "eh" in response.

So I'm left with a couple of options:
1. Buy one of the settings at Jared and get an online bought stone (my eyes popped out of my head with the cost hikes for stones in the store), and then have it set at Jared with a service plan.
2. See if they can do a custom setting similar to the first style, but with less expensive side stones and then the rest of option 1 (don't know if this would make that style setting cheaper or not)
3. See if I can have a custom setting made similar to those above, and have a purchase a third party service plan that gives her the piece of mind she wants.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Any continued help would be appreciated.

Just a note about those Jared settings, in case you didn’t catch it ... the first one is for an oval or cushion shape only ... Although I also can’t recommend Jared, this one is not for a round diamond and so your only option would to get a custom or similar setting.

The second setting is for a round up to 1.11 carat ... a jeweller can probably stretch this a bit, but if you buy this setting you may want to make sure your diamond will fit.

I would still discourage you from dealing with Jared.

Here’s another GabrielNY one:
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/er8749w44jj

And a few Stuller ones:

https://www.stuller.com/products/bu...ionSource=RelatedSiteSearch#/mounting-options

https://www.stuller.com/products/74...tionType=recommendation&recommendationId=6456

https://www.stuller.com/products/bu...ion&recommendationId=191018#/mounting-options

https://www.stuller.com/products/65...onType=recommendation&recommendationId=191018

 

[the_mother_thing]

I wonder if you could persuade her to go the custom and/or online route if you pointed out that constantly losing stones isn't necessarily a sign that she needs a service plan - it might be a sign that the jeweler's craftsmanship is shoddy!

That was my first thought when I read @shemmy comment on his intended’s love of service plans. My second thought is: if she has a good relationship with a local jeweler for her other pieces, odds are they will inspect and clean the ER (bought elsewhere) as a courtesy when she has her other items cleaned & inspected. Most maul jewelers do it for random passersby for free anyway. But starting out with a quality made setting will reduce the odds of her losing stones in the ER, unless she is just that hard on her rings, in which case, keep that in mind when choosing the ER!

I will echo others who suggest staying away from Jared, Kays, etc. Can you give us a general idea of the area you live? PSers may be able to recommend someone reputable local to you to work with.

 

[Miss Marple]

Another anecdote re better constructed rings. My mom is very hard on her rings. Never takes them off (unless I’m visiting and insist on cleaning them), and is constantly cooking and cleaning. She has a Gabriel NY stock setting with a lot of pave. After a year, no missing or loose stones.

Her “maul” rings have not fared nearly as well and she does not wear them much any longer.

 

[shemmy]

Thank you all for the feedback and setting suggestions. Again let me reiterate that the only reason I ever entertained a B&M store was because of her affinity for her service plans. She's moved a lot for work so she has one with Helzberg and Jared for all of her different pieces of jewelry so she can always have them serviced no matter where she's living.

@the_mother_thing I'm currently living in the Philadelphia area, and she (and ultimately we) is currently in the northern VA (Arlington/Fairfax). If I don't buy from a chain I'll have to track down a new jeweler in that area.

 

[farrahlyn]

Thank you all for the feedback and setting suggestions. Again let me reiterate that the only reason I ever entertained a B&M store was because of her affinity for her service plans. She's moved a lot for work so she has one with Helzberg and Jared for all of her different pieces of jewelry so she can always have them serviced no matter where she's living.

@the_mother_thing I'm currently living in the Philadelphia area, and she (and ultimately we) is currently in the northern VA (Arlington/Fairfax). If I don't buy from a chain I'll have to track down a new jeweler in that area.

Really, building a relationship with a local jeweler is the best route. Just ask around, no need to make it a huge ordeal. you could try posting here for recommendations. in the 19 years that i've been married, i've had to have my engagement ring serviced twice. (this is aside from cleaning which ANY store will do for free) My original ring was YG and i just needed to have it sized and once had the prongs redone. I've had my "upgraded" e-ring for almost 4 years now and probably should have taken it in a few years ago to have it rhodium dipped. But no major work and it's micropave. it was a custom setting from a local jeweler who is well known around here for their quality.

It can't be stressed enough that a quality setting is not going to need extensive work and you aren't going to have stones falling out all willy nilly. Jared is one of THE WORST, just do some googling about people having issues with the quality and stones falling out. Absolutely horrible stories. I get why she thinks it's necessary to have a chain store that can service them but QUALITY will lessen the NEED to have them serviced constantly. and again, any store will clean her ring at no charge. Many have even offered to take a look at prongs just to make sure everything looks secure.

 

[shemmy]

@farrahlyn I totally understand. Again it's convincing her of that, which hopefully I can do so.

 

[farrahlyn]

@farrahlyn I totally understand. Again it's convincing her of that, which hopefully I can do so.

I'm not one to usually suggest this, i'm all about going with what the lady wants but.... i'd totally ignore her idea of being able to have it serviced at a chain. It's like buying a Hyundai because the BMW you really want (and can afford) doesn't have a dealership right across the street like Hyaundi does.

I'm totally ruthless and would absolutely google Jareds and whatever other chain store she likes and show her all shocked "Woah honey look at these people that were swindled by Jareds when they tried to trade up their diamond!" and "did you know Jareds quality is subpar for an e-ring? I found experiences of so many people that lost stones within weeks/months of purchasing an engagement ring. Just researching, it's really not normal for that to happen! I really don't feel comfortable spending so much on something that i can get at much better quality. This is supposed to be forever and i don't want this to be a bad experience." "Maybe we should rethink this, we can get much better quality thus value going elsewhere" Etc Etc.

I realize this may not be taken well by her but i do think you can convince her. Seriously just some googling on quality of these maul stores should be eye opening.

 

[shemmy]

I hear all of you, trust me. I think I'll have to convince her after the fact. Even if we have to get some sort of third party service plan or something I'm going to not go through Jared. Whether that is a custom ring through someone like DK or through another local jeweler (not chain) I'll just figure it out after the fact.

On that note I have reached out to DK about a custom ring, as well as a local jeweler. Only heard back once from DK after my initial contact email two days ago. He indicated timing wise shouldn't be a problem, had a couple other basic questions, and I have not heard back from my response. The local jeweler is going to do a custom variation on a GabrielNY design that @lovedogs found. Little thicker on the channel set and plain metal split shank (to alleviate the GF fears of too fragile) and turning the little design under the gallery into a full trinity knot design.
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/er10315w44jj
$100 for the CAD design, but I figured it was worth it to keep the process moving (even while waiting for DK to respond again). Total setting cost should come in less than the retail price of the cheaper Jared design she liked. Have to see what DK might come up with (if I hear back from him). Every day lost is one closer to being worried a custom ring won't get finished in time.

Based off visually seeing the GabrielNY design in person, something around 1.25ct might be a nice size stone. Smaller might feel lost in the setting and larger will probably be something the GF wants to avoid since she's worried about it hitting things and such. If the setting comes in around 2k, then that leaves me 6-8k for the stone. I think I can find something in the G color, but I guess I could go down to H if the other characteristics are worth it.

Again, I thank you all for your previous (and any future) feedback and suggestions.