Picking the Setting...Take 2

sledge · May 2, 2018

For those that followed my first thread, you know that I have been really struggling to find the right setting for my girl. There are various reasons, but mainly, my girl has intentionally not said I want "this" and instead tried to hint to different elements so that I can have the freedom to choose what I want for her and she says she will love it and that I should trust my own judgment.

Trying to take many things into account I *think* I've narrowed it down to this one called Surge. It is not a traditional setting, although it is similar to some other twist rings I've viewed -- but slightly different. One finer element I see with this one is the e-ring & wedding band are designed to work together and provide a cohesive look (something she really likes & wants).

Here are my issues.

1. I'd like to do platinum.
2. Platinum is gawd awful expensive with this ring designer, and not something I am willing to pay.
3. Should I consider a 14k white gold? -- recommended by the designer when I talked to them.
4. I've sent to BG to ask if they have something similar or can custom make something for me, but haven't heard back.

Looking for advice & opinions on the style, price and possible alternatives. FYI, I'd love to hear from other vendors as well.

Surge
http://www.markschneiderdesign.com/...porary-engagement-rings/surge-engagement-ring

Platinum = $3,953 e-ring + $1,759 wedding band = $5,712

14k White Gold = $2,358 e-ring + $692 wedding band = $3,050

Oh yeah, if I buy the wedding band at the same time, there is a 10% discount on the wedding band only.

SimoneDi · May 2, 2018

Did you decide to go with BGD stone?

What about this setting that was suggested: https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/engagement-rings/pave-and-side-stones/lotte-sholdt-platinum-6988p

It is much nicer setting in my view than the above posted. It also has a better price tag.

mrs-b · May 2, 2018

Pretty design. Poorly made in my opinion, and horrible prong work. Contact David Klass Jewelry in LA - he'll make it for you - in platinum - for about half that price. And twice as good.

sledge · May 2, 2018

SimoneDi said:
Did you decide to go with BGD stone?

What about this setting that was suggested: https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/engagement-rings/pave-and-side-stones/lotte-sholdt-platinum-6988p

It is much nicer setting in my view than the above posted. It also has a better price tag.

Yes, I went with the BGD stone. Love it! Funny enough, the diamond was easy.

One night I tossed a few rings on the screen and had her look at them. She did not like the Lotte for whatever reason. She never gave me specific reasons why (one of the things driving me a little crazy, as it makes it hard to understand).

sledge · May 2, 2018

mrs-b said:
Pretty design. Poorly made in my opinion, and horrible prong work. Contact David Klass Jewelry in LA - he'll make it for you - in platinum - for about half that price. And twice as good.

Agree it could be cleaned up. I also didn't like the prongs -- too bulky. Also, the lines in the plain portion of the band look hand done as they aren't very straight.

Would you agree this looks like they were designed to be together? That element is important to her.

Anything I need to mention when reaching out to David?

ringo865 · May 2, 2018

I agree with the others about the markschneiderdesignring. Have you shown her a pic of the surge?

sledge · May 2, 2018

ringo865 said:
I agree with the others about the markschneiderdesignring. Have you shown her a pic of the surge?

Not yet. But it is on my radar. When I do this I tend to throw several designs at her so that it disguises maybe what I'm doing. Or it makes me look stupid, lol. Either way, I normally limit to 3-4 so it's not overwhelming. I will try to get some feedback later tonight, although she works late.

FYI, I sent David Klass an email requesting he get in touch with me.

SimoneDi · May 2, 2018

sledge said:
Yes, I went with the BGD stone. Love it! Funny enough, the diamond was easy.

One night I tossed a few rings on the screen and had her look at them. She did not like the Lotte for whatever reason. She never gave me specific reasons why (one of the things driving me a little crazy, as it makes it hard to understand).

Ah ok, if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t like it. How about this setting? https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER11794R3W44JJ

You can reach out to IDJ for a quote given the measurements of your diamond. I find that their pricing on G&Co is the best. I also second the DK idea, he will be able to execute the setting exactly as desired. However, I really, really think that your SO should be designing her own setting if she has such strong opinions about the design of the setting. I don’t consider it wise to spend a lot of $$$ for something that she mind end up not loving. Is co-designing/choosing the setting an option?

sledge · May 3, 2018

Haha, well turns out I was completely wrong about the design I posted. I sent her a link to the main site and said “have a look as I think there are several pieces you would like”. I then tossed a few ring names out including Surge. Later I asked her what she thought. She shrugged her shoulders and said nothing stood out. I asked her about the ones I suggested. She said she just didn’t like any of them to even click on the detailed pages.

Very frustrating. I do like the Gabriel ring you posted. I wonder if DK could make me a plain solitaire with a pave wedding band wrap around in a twist design so the final ring looks similar to the Gabtriel? Would save me some money, be simple and let her get in on the wedding band design.

I’m getting worn out trying to second guess setting styles

SimoneDi said:
Ah ok, if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t like it. How about this setting? https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER11794R3W44JJ

You can reach out to IDJ for a quote given the measurements of your diamond. I find that their pricing on G&Co is the best. I also second the DK idea, he will be able to execute the setting exactly as desired. However, I really, really think that your SO should be designing her own setting if she has such strong opinions about the design of the setting. I don’t consider it wise to spend a lot of $$$ for something that she mind end up not loving. Is co-designing/choosing the setting an option?

Yimmers · May 3, 2018

Either get her a classic, plain solitaire in platinum and let her upgrade with a new setting on your first anniversary, or if you're inclined to give her a nice setting now, do a cheap 14k white gold Stuller setting and let her design her final ring. Honestly, it's a lot easier than trying to read someone's mind. I get the sense that even SHE's not sure what she wants.

foxinsox · May 3, 2018

Yimmers said:
Either get her a classic, plain solitaire in platinum and let her upgrade with a new setting on your first anniversary, or if you're inclined to give her a nice setting now, do a cheap 14k white gold Stuller setting and let her design her final ring. Honestly, it's a lot easier than trying to read someone's mind. I get the sense that even SHE's not sure what she wants.

THIS!!! When the idea of getting married came up, I didn’t for one moment entertain the idea of having my lovely man try and work out the right setting.. not because I’m a control freak (tho I am a little) but because I had zero idea what I wanted so if I had no idea, how could he know what to get me? I went to a few stores and tried some deeply uninspiring styles on (super useful for knowing what I didn’t like) and then spent the next 6 months poring over styles and picture online. That helped me narrow it down to vintage then Art Deco then OECs in fishtail prong box heads (seems I love the faceting of a round and the face up squared off look of a cushion).
I loved the process of working it out. It was fun learning and considering what things were just pretty and what felt ‘me’ etc. Depending on your girl, she may really get into it herself if you give her the starting point of a gorgeous diamond set simply and say “ok this is important to me that you love your engagement ring, let’s build it together”.
I know this isn’t for everyone but if she’s better at working out what she doesn’t like, it might be a lot safer than sinking money into something she looks at and goes “oh hmm” about instead of “ohhhhhhh it’s perfect”

the_mother_thing · May 3, 2018

Yimmers said:
Either get her a classic, plain solitaire in platinum and let her upgrade with a new setting on your first anniversary, or if you're inclined to give her a nice setting now, do a cheap 14k white gold Stuller setting and let her design her final ring. Honestly, it's a lot easier than trying to read someone's mind. I get the sense that even SHE's not sure what she wants.

Double ditto!

Wewechew · May 3, 2018

Another vote for a plain solitaire and let her pick out the final setting.

dkata · May 3, 2018

One more vote for a plain solitaire! Let her pick the setting!

Niel · May 3, 2018

I feel like he seen mounts online that you could get - what size is her finger?

SimoneDi · May 3, 2018

sledge said:
Haha, well turns out I was completely wrong about the design I posted. I sent her a link to the main site and said “have a look as I think there are several pieces you would like”. I then tossed a few ring names out including Surge. Later I asked her what she thought. She shrugged her shoulders and said nothing stood out. I asked her about the ones I suggested. She said she just didn’t like any of them to even click on the detailed pages.

Very frustrating. I do like the Gabriel ring you posted. I wonder if DK could make me a plain solitaire with a pave wedding band wrap around in a twist design so the final ring looks similar to the Gabtriel? Would save me some money, be simple and let her get in on the wedding band design.

I’m getting worn out trying to second guess setting styles

I understand that you must be getting s bit tired from this setting search and trying to guess her preferences.

I agree with the others that she might not be 100% sure what she wants and it may really be best to get a solitaire setting and let her design her ring later. BGD have plenty of soli settings. I have had their most affordable Stuller and it was honestly perfectly fine for the year I wore it. They do a great job on the prongs as well.

farrahlyn · May 3, 2018

Diamond_Hawk · May 3, 2018

Yimmers said:
Either get her a classic, plain solitaire in platinum and let her upgrade with a new setting on your first anniversary, or if you're inclined to give her a nice setting now, do a cheap 14k white gold Stuller setting and let her design her final ring. Honestly, it's a lot easier than trying to read someone's mind. I get the sense that even SHE's not sure what she wants.

This seems a prudent course of action.

tyty333 · May 3, 2018

I would get a plain inexpensive 10k gold stuller solitaire and let her pick/design her ring. Especially when she doesnt know what she wants!

metall · May 3, 2018

Agreed, having followed your first thread and now seeing this one, I think that your best course of action is to let her design it. Ultimately, it doesn't sound like she knows what she wants, and who knows that indecisiveness might be because she feels pressured to ask for something "more" when her personal preference would be to get a plain 6 prong Tiffany type setting.

sledge · May 3, 2018

farrahlyn said:
Ok, so looking at her likes again... i think she prefers a bypass setting. not a twisted shank like you're leaning toward. Look at this one she liked:
https://www.tinnivi.com/women-s-pri...ing-silver-bridal-engagement-ring-500343.html

Take a look, here some that i like that have incorportated the band really well. Some of these have pics with the band and the matching band is linked on the e-ring page.
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER12335R4W44JJ This is my FAVORITE, i think the complete look with the band is just gorgeous
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER10315W44JJ
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER4309W44JJ
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER14510R4T44JJ
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER14465R4W44JJ Another favorite
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER14466R4W44JJ Would want to see a photo of this with the band
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER11684R4W44JJ
https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER14614R4W44JJ this is different but i like it!

Funny you mention these. I was coming in late last night after going out with a buddy when I replied about her not liking the Schneider design and that I was frustrated.

Anyhow, this AM I decided to re-review the Gabriel link and started looking around. Your first favorite is nearly identical to one I found that I thought she might really like. Check out the 360* view.

https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER6360W44JJ

But I think you are spot on. She likes the "integral" stuff and maybe I am communicating it wrong when I speak here. I think this particular setting rocks when it's altogether and to me, it appears it was designed to be that way. But again, I go into this with low expectations given my current track record, lol.

Still I think I have to point her to the Gabriel site and a few rings in particular before giving up and doing a solitaire.

metall said:
Agreed, having followed your first thread and now seeing this one, I think that your best course of action is to let her design it. Ultimately, it doesn't sound like she knows what she wants, and who knows that indecisiveness might be because she feels pressured to ask for something "more" when her personal preference would be to get a plain 6 prong Tiffany type setting.

We actually had a conversation this AM about how it was really difficult to understand her desires in a setting and how maybe designing something together was a better idea. She seemed open to the idea, but I don't think she loved it. I do think part of the problem is she can't properly verbalize what she does & doesn't specifically want or like. She just sees something and says "yeah that's nice".

I would love to get this right from the get-go, and a solitaire is probably the safest option. But based on what she's told me thus far, I know it's not what she really wants and is just a temp diamond holder which seems wasteful.

farrahlyn · May 3, 2018

sledge said:
Funny you mention these. I was coming in late last night after going out with a buddy when I replied about her not liking the Schneider design and that I was frustrated.

Anyhow, this AM I decided to re-review the Gabriel link and started looking around. Your first favorite is nearly identical to one I found that I thought she might really like. Check out the 360* view.

https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER6360W44JJ

But I think you are spot on. She likes the "integral" stuff and maybe I am communicating it wrong when I speak here. I think this particular setting rocks when it's altogether and to me, it appears it was designed to be that way. But again, I go into this with low expectations given my current track record, lol.

Still I think I have to point her to the Gabriel site and a few rings in particular before giving up and doing a solitaire.

We actually had a conversation this AM about how it was really difficult to understand her desires in a setting and how maybe designing something together was a better idea. She seemed open to the idea, but I don't think she loved it. I do think part of the problem is she can't properly verbalize what she does & doesn't specifically want or like. She just sees something and says "yeah that's nice".

I would love to get this right from the get-go, and a solitaire is probably the safest option. But based on what she's told me thus far, I know it's not what she really wants and is just a temp diamond holder which seems wasteful.

@sledge too funny that we were on that same wavelength. I actually saw the one you like and was disappointed in the wedding band buti hadn't watched the 360 and it looks really good there! I like the first one so much because the wedding band is completely integrated but it is a specific look.

Keep at it, i think you're getting a lukewarm response just because you haven't found exactly what she's loking for. Good luck, i hope she likes one or a few of these!

sledge · May 3, 2018

Agree. The 360* view makes that one look good. Of course I liked several of the others you linked too.

We shall see. Web links and hints have been dropped. Waiting to hear a response.

farrahlyn said:
@sledge too funny that we were on that same wavelength. I actually saw the one you like and was disappointed in the wedding band buti hadn't watched the 360 and it looks really good there! I like the first one so much because the wedding band is completely integrated but it is a specific look.

Keep at it, i think you're getting a lukewarm response just because you haven't found exactly what she's loking for. Good luck, i hope she likes one or a few of these!

leukolenos · May 3, 2018

sledge said:
We actually had a conversation this AM about how it was really difficult to understand her desires in a setting and how maybe designing something together was a better idea. She seemed open to the idea, but I don't think she loved it. I do think part of the problem is she can't properly verbalize what she does & doesn't specifically want or like. She just sees something and says "yeah that's nice".

I would love to get this right from the get-go, and a solitaire is probably the safest option. But based on what she's told me thus far, I know it's not what she really wants and is just a temp diamond holder which seems wasteful.

I think you nailed it with not being able to put her finger on what she wants...
Which is why I mostly agree with doing a temp solitaire...it's allowing her time to decide and hone her tastes, so I don't really think a (relatively) cheap solitaire is wasteful. Think of it as an insurance policy. Would you pay a little to make sure she gets something she wants? I would!

rockysalamander · May 3, 2018

So, my 2-cents. Completely, totally, ignore the wedding band. Very few people choose the "matching" wedding band anyway. Any ring, regardless of its design, can have a custom wedding band made to look more integral and fitted or any other design detail. It can be more or less difficult based on the Ering design, but I think the "whole look" search is making this impossible.

Unless you are eloping shortly after marriage...stop thinking about the "whole" final look.

The Gabriel NY option above is fine and might suit. But, I would personally go with a single shank setting as adding shanks (via a wedding band). to make that look cohesive would be easier. Something like this with or without pave. Without the bezel seems to be her preference, so this is just for the idea of a single shank.

LLJsmom · May 3, 2018

sledge said:
Funny you mention these. I was coming in late last night after going out with a buddy when I replied about her not liking the Schneider design and that I was frustrated.

Anyhow, this AM I decided to re-review the Gabriel link and started looking around. Your first favorite is nearly identical to one I found that I thought she might really like. Check out the 360* view.

https://www.gabrielny.com/engagement-ring/ER6360W44JJ

But I think you are spot on. She likes the "integral" stuff and maybe I am communicating it wrong when I speak here. I think this particular setting rocks when it's altogether and to me, it appears it was designed to be that way. But again, I go into this with low expectations given my current track record, lol.

Still I think I have to point her to the Gabriel site and a few rings in particular before giving up and doing a solitaire.

We actually had a conversation this AM about how it was really difficult to understand her desires in a setting and how maybe designing something together was a better idea. She seemed open to the idea, but I don't think she loved it. I do think part of the problem is she can't properly verbalize what she does & doesn't specifically want or like. She just sees something and says "yeah that's nice".

I would love to get this right from the get-go, and a solitaire is probably the safest option. But based on what she's told me thus far, I know it's not what she really wants and is just a temp diamond holder which seems wasteful.

Dude, if she can’t even figure it out enough to explain how can you possibly get it right. It’s like throwing a dart in the dark. Good idea to let her design/choose it. And in the process of finding or designing what she wants, she may be able to refine her ideas.

the_mother_thing · May 4, 2018

@sledge At this point, she seems to know it’s coming, correct? I mean, you’re dropping hints to her and asking her input, and we women aren’t dumb when it comes to men asking us questions about jewelry - we know what you’re hinting at.

It may be that she doesn’t know what the diamond looks like (size, shape, etc., in real life yet), and her opinion on ring style may vary depending on those things. If a simple soli isn’t a choice, why not just have her provide you 3-5 of her favorite settings, with the understanding you will make he final decision so it is a surprise for her. Post her choices here, and let folks guide you from there on finding/creating the e-ring.

And just FYI, buying the simple soli now isn’t necessarily a waste. She could always have a simulant set in the soli for travel (if she doesn’t feel comfortable wearing her diamond), she could set a colored stone in it for variety/options, or it can be sold once the new setting is made. Lots of folks shop for pre-loved simple settings on Loupe Troop, so you could recoup some of your money for it if you wanted. Personally - and fully understanding that you want to get it right the first time - I still think the soli route is the best option to go, which let’s her choose exactly what she wants once she can articulate and formulate what is important to her. And that may only come after she has ‘lived with’ her diamond for awhile.

Can you please refresh my memory - which diamond did you go with?

rockysalamander · May 4, 2018

@sledge did you see this setting from SimonG? This would be a really nice base for a custom wedding band. Price is great.

https://www.whiteflash.com/engageme...n-g-mr2956-solitaire-engagement-ring-5086.htm

This is lovely.
http://www.since1910.com/art-carved-ac-31v303-whitney-diamond-engagement-ring {posting in RG to show the pretty details}

Another form of a twist. Technically a split shank, but the way it wraps has that asymmetrical look she likes.
https://www.krikawa.com/rings/simple-six-prong-solitaire-engagement-ring

farrahlyn · May 4, 2018

i love the 1910 setting @rockysalamander posted! It's not over the top bypass with some really pretty details. it'll look beautiful on it's own but really nice too with a band.

sledge · May 4, 2018

Argh. Having intermittent internet problems. I’ve seen these comments, but some stuff isn’t working for me right now and I keep getting a 504 timeout error on this page. I’ve tried to write a response several times and it keeps resetting and losing my previous text.

Anyhow, I will try again later but wanted to let all you know I appreciate the feedback/comments and to keep them coming. I will respond when feasible.

Picking the Setting...Take 2

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