Doubting Dress Stress

[robbie3982]

I called both pearl''s and rk and one told me they can''t do maggies and the other couldn''t beat the price of the salon here. Deco, I don''t really see those things as emphasizing my crotch. I see the pleats as skirt emphasis, not crotch emphasis. I don''t like dresses w/ a lot of waist detail. I think it adds to my waist instead of making it look smaller.

 

[diamondfan]

Robbie, while I love the one you have from before, it is a bit plain to my taste and I can see why you love the other.

You need to explore the new one just in case because you will never feel settled unless you do...it is lovely, really a gorgeous dress.

 

[robbie3982]

ugh. my dad just sent me an email and said he will be very very very upset with me if i buy a new dress

 

[Minny]

Okay I really love BOTH dresses on you, so I think you cannot lose either way. It looks like the first dress you bought needs to be altered a bit to fit you better -- once it does, I think it will be just as flattering as the second dress. They are both beautiful dresses; I think it comes down to a matter of personal taste. I''d bet you''d be able to make some money off of selling either of them if you had to.......okay, I''m not helping at all, am I!!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 11/11/2006 10:11:39 AM
Author: robbie3982
ugh. my dad just sent me an email and said he will be very very very upset with me if i buy a new dress

Oh please. That''s terrible. Eh, let him BE upset. He''ll get over it. Maybe tell them you''ll give THEM back any $$ you raise by selling the first one.

 

[robbie3982]

Date: 11/11/2006 11:00:32 AM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 11/11/2006 10:11:39 AM
Author: robbie3982
ugh. my dad just sent me an email and said he will be very very very upset with me if i buy a new dress

Oh please. That''s terrible. Eh, let him BE upset. He''ll get over it. Maybe tell them you''ll give THEM back any $$ you raise by selling the first one.

For any other person saying what my dad said, yeah i''d agree, but he has a way of making my life a living hell when he''s upset. about anything.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 11/11/2006 11:08:35 AM
Author: robbie3982

Date: 11/11/2006 11:00:32 AM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 11/11/2006 10:11:39 AM
Author: robbie3982
ugh. my dad just sent me an email and said he will be very very very upset with me if i buy a new dress

Oh please. That''s terrible. Eh, let him BE upset. He''ll get over it. Maybe tell them you''ll give THEM back any $$ you raise by selling the first one.

For any other person saying what my dad said, yeah i''d agree, but he has a way of making my life a living hell when he''s upset. about anything.

Aw, robbie, I''m so sorry you''re in this position. I do really like the dress you have on you, but I hear you about liking the other dress as well!

Go with your gut on this one, if you really think you''ll have regrets then go for the new one. I know in my case I wouldn''t regret my choice, I just like the blingy dresses I''ve seen lately and I know that with me I''ll be nervous about any dress I choose up until i''m actually wearing it. If you feel like you may be ilke me in that regard, then I''d stick with the original.

You are a beautiful girl and no matter which dress you are going to be a beautiful bride, and the way I think of it is, no one is going to think about your dress nearly as much as you are!!

Hang in there!!!

 

[Miranda]

Why would he be upset??? If it''s not going to cost him any more money and HE''S not going to wear it... I have a dad that can be a bit overbearing (or was when I cared) also. Maybe you could just tell him/them that this is not a battle for control...This is your wedding and the new dress makes you feel/look like you always dreamed. BTW - *sigh* I LOVE the new dress. So bridey, it''s really beaytiful and goes so well with your figure, hair, etc.

 

[robbie3982]

awe thanks sweetpea. I think it''s more than just being nervous about making a decision. I just showed it to my FSILs and my future nieces and they all agree that I should get the new dress. I talked to my mom about it and we realized that my dad hasn''t seen either. He wouldn''t know if I got a new one, so I think I may just do that and pretend it''s the original. Sneaky, yes, but so worth it if i can avoid him going crazy on me. Besides, it''s not like it''ll cost him anything.

 

[RoseAngel04]

AH ROBBIE!

I wish we could have stopped you before you went to try it on. I honestly think both dress look divine on you! They are are on two TOTALLY ends of the dress spectrum though.....the first one is simple and classic, while the Maggie is somewhat of a "Cinderella" dress with a lot more of the fantasy/princess type feel. Personally when I was choosing my dress I couldn't have gone with the simple styled dress, it's just NOT me...but I don't really know you all that well so you have to deceide what's best for YOU! If your more of a simple bride then go with dress 1...If you're more into the fairy tale, then dress 2 would be best! Aren't Maggie's divine? I love mine!

Let us know the progress! And if you deciede on dress 2 I really hope everything works out with your family. $500 in the grand scheme of things ISN'T a lot of money...so if that's the way you go I hope your family can understand! It's YOUR day and you should be in your DREAM dress!

Luck!

 

[robbie3982]

I'm pretty much decided that I'm going to buy the new dress.

 

[larussel03]

I say if your mom is in your corner on this one, and if your dad will not know the difference, then you don't really have to worry about any negative reprocussions, so you're making the right decision!

Good luck selling the old dress!

 

[robbie3982]

Thanks. I''m not fooling myself into thinking it''ll be easy, but I do hope I sell it eventually.

 

[Mara]

robbie if i remember correctly, you are on a really tight budget for the wedding right?

i would only buy this new dress if you can guaranteed sell the other dress.

quite honestly, i know i am in the minority here but to me the dress doesn't make the wedding. you look fine in both dresses. i like elements of this new dress but i don't like how overwhelming the bottom is for your small upper half. and i like your original dress but it doesn't seem to fit as well on the waist and bust or something. maybe if it was more fitted.

anyway, i can never relate to any of these dress threads on here because after trying on a bunch of dresses i was like you know what i am so over this! i just have to find a dress. here's a nice one, within budget, and flatters my body shape, and will look nice in pictures, so lets get it! i never found THE dress, there was one that might have been kind of close but it was too pricey for my taste and we had a beach wedding so it was totally the wrong 'style' for it. of course back then there were hardly any destination type simple dresses and now they are all over so i always see so many dresses now that would have been perfect but they weren't out then. ah well! what do you do?

so i can't even relate at all to the gals who are on here going 'i have three dresses and am torn' or whatever. it just seems really stressful, and who really needs the added stress of anything like this when planning a wedding overall. there is always something else out there you might find LATER and then it's just too late.

my thoughts are that you should really think about whether or not you want to do this, forget what mom and dad say and think about your budget, what your goal is for the wedding, if this new dress really changes anything (aka does it really matter or make a diff?) for you and possibly how you could change or modify the existing dress you have to make it more your style or look better on you or whatever makes you happiest. in the end if you just can't stop thinking about the new dress then get it but remember that you might find something else even later and then will you be in the same situ?

just some thoughts from a gal who never got the whole 'the dress' craze thing... the wedding and the special day are not made better or worse because of a dress.

 

[basil]

I like both dresses, really. But like someone else said, they are pretty different looks. The new one looks like it may need to be altered in the chest area, while the other looks like it needs to be taken in in the waist. If you truly believe that you''d regret not buying the second dress, then I would get it. If you think this is your only chance to wear a huge skirt and you want to do it, then that''s what you should do. But I''d wait a week or so. Just to make sure it''s not a you don''t fall out of love with the new one. I haven''t even tried on dresses yet and I''ve had passing love affairs with certain dresses that pass once I see something else that I like better! You really look great in either though.

 

[bee*]

I love the Maggie on you. The first dress is a beautiful dress also but the maggie just has something!

 

[robbie3982]

Mara, we are on a tight budget. If I decide to get this dress, it''s coming out of mine and FI''s savings. Obviously there''s no guarantee that I''ll be able to sell the other. I know that you''re right that the dress doesn''t make the wedding and that the wedding will be great no matter what I wear, but I''m one of those people who will look back at the pictures (I look at pictures quite frequently actually) and wish that I''d bought the other dress. I to this day look at prom and homecoming pictures from high school and wish I would have chosen different things. My favorite part about the new dress is the silhouette. I''ve always wanted a ballgown. I thought I''d get one for prom, but I got talked out of it both times. Hence the looking back on the pictures wishing I''d gotten something different. I feel like this is the only time for the rest of my life I''ll ever be able to wear a ballgown and if I don''t get one I''m going to be kicking myself forever. Both dresses would need to be altered and my parents will pay for that since they were going to pay for the original to be altered (and my dad will think it''s the original anyway...). I wish I didn''t care about the dress so much, but I do and I think pretending that I don''t or ignoring what''s going on in my head will only make things worse.

Basil, I''d love to wait a week or more, but the new one is on ebay for less than half of retail (and BNWT too), so waiting isn''t an option. I actually was in love with this dress before I bought the other and I was actually on the way to try it on when I decide to take a detour to a different store. I wish I would''ve just gone there first

. I''d called around everywhere (even Pearl''s, RK, even checked the knot boards to find sellers) and the lowest price I could get was more than twice what my dress budget was so when I found the dress I bought (which I do like, but just feel like I''d be settling if I keep it) I sort of talked myself into it by saying I''d never be able to get the other dress anyway. Then it showed up on ebay...

Bee, I feel the same way.

 

[decodelighted]

I''m glad you realized that your dad wouldn''t ever know it was a new dress ANYWAY ... you might want to carefully consider what you tell him & what you don''t if he is a big brat about things like that. People EARN our trust & it doesn''t seem like he''s earned the right to be trusted with your emotions etc.

Why did it come up with him in the first place? Did your mom tell him? Don''t burden him with stuff he can''t understand - it will only give him needles worry & an open invitation for power plays.

On the "new" dress -- based on your prom dress pictures scenario - I think you''re justified to save yourself the heartache of going through that again. But do really think about the $ though. You may need to sacrifice something later that you could have paid for out of your savings if you hadn''t spent the # here. Wedding planning is a long expensive process. Our budget increased by a full THIRD in the final two-three weeks. Last minute craziness - no one is immune!

 

[robbie3982]

Ugh. My mom told him after she told me not to tell him. I really don''t have a clue why she did that because she KNOWS how he gets. I feel awful lying, but at the same time it''s worth it if he''ll leave me alone. Everything that''s important to me is booked. I really don''t care much about the cake, invitations, flowers, etc. so if we have to cut back on those things, that''s ok.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 11/12/2006 12:37:16 PM
Author: robbie3982
Ugh. My mom told him after she told me not to tell him. I really don''t have a clue why she did that because she KNOWS how he gets.

That''s EXACTLY what I thought happened. I''ll tell you why I asked ... I kinda suspect your Mom is playing both sides against each other here. "Confessing" to your dad & building trust etc there ... and then being the "hero" to you .. "Wait! I save the day - we won''t tell him"

It''s a pre-teen, passive agressive game & I hope this doesn''t continue throughout your wedding planning. She pulled the same kind of stuff when you were first looking for dresses, no? And about the budget? Am I remember this correctly??

I''m just saying - watch out for it. If you lower your expectations about how she behaves - at least it''ll save you from future heartaches. Ya can''t really change your family but you can change what you expect & how you react.

 

[Mara]

funny deco about the increased budget by 1/3 in the last few weeks, that happened to us too and now i tell all my friends who are planning weddings to PLAN FOR THAT. because it's super easy to stick to a budget when you have time to shop around but in the end you are down to the wire and something changes, or it doesn't look the way you thought etc and you are like 'whatever just do whatever it takes to have it look/be/feel right'. our budget for flowers went from $800 to $1500 but in the end it looked WONDERFUL with absolutely everything i wanted, and it was worth it. same with little extras here and there that just added up in the end. for us it didn't really matter as we had some leeway but it was something we we were not expecting. so i definitely think brides should be aware of that. i love it when my friends have said in the past 'oh ours won't go up like that because i'm planning so well'...uhh okay and then a week after the wedding they are like wow you were right, we spent X amount extra in the last week due to things changing or whatever. Hah! told ya! hee.

 

[robbie3982]

Deco, I don't think she's trying to play both sides, I think it's that she just can't keep secrets well. At all. That whole side of the family can't. She actually told me not to tell her if I get the other dress. I think it's because she knows she can't keep secrets and at least that way if she doesn't know she can't tell. She'll know at the wedding obviously, but at that point I'll be going on my honeymoon and if she tells my dad he'll have a week or so to cool off and even if he's still hell bent on making me miserable afterwards, at least I won't have had to deal with it at the wedding.

Mara, I really hope that doesn't happen to me.

 

[TravelingGal]

I''m not the best person to give advice on dresses either, since I only tried on one and bought it. Wedding dress shopping seemed like a huge chore to me and one that seems to spiral brides into a vortex of madness.

You are the way you are, and I respect that you know yourself enough to realize you won''t be happy in the future unless you buy this dress. The tight budget (and your dad, lol) seems the issue. Is there any way you could earn some extra money to pay for this dress?

 

[robbie3982]

FI has been offered the opportunity to work overtime and has been for the last few weekends, so we will have a little bit of extra money. We also preordered 2 playstations and plan on selling one (assuming we actually get both). Last time I checked they were up to about 3 times the retail price, so if we can do that, it would pay for the dress and the playstation. We'll find out on Friday if we get both playstations. FI thinks he'll feel guilty selling it for such a high markup, but I reminded him that it's the demand that gets the price all jacked up and if people aren't willing to pay that much then they can wait for the next shipment. He has a friend that would buy it from us if we'd sell it to him for what we paid, but this friend had the same opportunity as we did to go and pre-order, so I really don't feel sorry for him.

 

[anchor31]

Personally I prefer the Demitrios, but I prefer plainer dresses, so I may not be a good reference for your tastes. If you can sell your other dress and minimize losses, I say why not?

 

[mercoledi]

Hi, I''m a little late chiming in here. I like the elegance of the dress you bought, but I can see how the Maggie is way closer to the dresses you liked. The Demitrios also looks different with the crinolins under it, I think you''re trying to over-poof it to make it more ball gown-y. But I totally understand the dress distraction and drama.

It''s easy to ge sucked right into "is this the right dress" so here''s my question, where''s your venue and when is your ceremony? If you''re having an evening ceremony the Demitiros dress with it''s lovely sparkles might suit it better than the embroidered gown. On the other hand, if you''re getting married in the afternoon in an open airy or garden space, the new dress might suit it better.

My dress budget was about $300 and I ended up blowing most of my savings on a dress and alterations, final cost- about 1400. ugh. But I bought that dress because it would suit any location/occasion, and it worked perfectly where as any of my "dream dresses" wouldn''t really have matched our location.

What do you think will work best?

 

[robbie3982]

I think you''re definitely right about me overpoofing it mercoledi. My favorite picture of the dress I own is the one I took with my camera phone in the store when I had on a smaller crinoline. My wedding is an evening (5 ish, we haven''t set an official time, but we have the place at 4:30) wedding. I was thinking that the ballgown would be more appropriate for evening, but I definitely see what you mean about the sparkles. I''m having both the reception and ceremony at the George Washington Hotel. Here are the pictures from a different thread https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/keep-your-fingers-crossed-that-this-is-it.51425/.

I''m going to go try the dress on again during my lunch break.

 

[Dreamcatcher]

After looking at your photos of where the weddings at....

i change my vote to the maggie dress. it "fits" that venue. It''s got that romantic kind of feel whereas the first gown is more modernish.

if that makes any sense

 

[allycat0303]

Hey Robbie,

I like the new dress better. I''m sorry. I think it''s fabulous, the other one is nice too, but a little plainer. Ugh. Well if you can afford it, I think you should go with which one you love more. It''s a huge day for you and you are going to have a zillion pictures with the dress, so it should be as perfect as possible.

 

[swingirl]

I love the way the new one fits you through the bodice. It looks like it has more substantial structure and is very smooth and flattering. Maybe it is more adjustable because of the back lacing and is able to be snugged up. Both dresses are very pretty and flattering on you. The new is a bit more formal and has more detail which may or may not be what you want. I like simpler dresses that put the focus on the bride''s face. It''s nice when people say, "You look beautiful" and not "What a beautiful dress".

I recommend once you buy your dress, DON''T continue to shop because you''ll almost always find something else! And there are so many gorgeous gowns out there.