Bristol Palin Interview on Fox News

[vespergirl]

Date: 2/21/2009 8:21:37 PM
Author: steph72276
I never though of sex as being ''bad'', but the results could have been a bad thing for my future. I would have never considered abortion as an option, so if birth control failed, then all of my college/future plans would have been put on hold, so it was never worth the risk for me.

That''s a good point - I know that some women wouldn''t opt for abortion in the case of unplanned pregnancy. That was always an option that I would have considered, so if both of my types of BC had failed, I would have considered an abortion if I was not ready for a child at that point in my life. However, I was never confronted with having to make that choice.

That said, I do know a couple of girls who decided to have abortions in their late teens/early 20s. I am still acquainted with them. None of them have ever regretted their decisions, and feel very relieved that the option was open to them. They all went on to graduate college and have succesful careers and marriages, and several have children now. I have never personally encountered an indivifual who was "haunted" by her choice to terminate her pregnancy, though I know the anti-choice movement is always talking about women who feel that way.

I do have one friend who decided to carry her pregnancy through to term after becoming unexpectedly pregnant in her early 20s buy a guy she had only been dating a few months. It turned out that she was pregnant with twins, and surprise, the guy split as she got further along in her pregnancy. The children are now around 7 years old, and she has never gotten on her feet. She has been supported alternately by her parents and the government, and her ex-boyfriend is barely around, and doesn''t pay child support. She married briefly to a guy that turned out to be abusive, then divorced. She never was able to hold down a full-time job with the demands of being a single parent with twins who never got to start a career. So, I guess that my opinion on this is skewed, because I have seen the example of one gril who carried her pregnancy to term who has had a hard and unhappy life, as opposed to my friends who had abortions, who went on to have successful careers and families.

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 2/21/2009 8:11:17 PM
Author: vespergirl
I think that there are plenty of stupid kids who have sex, like Bristol Palin, and deal with the consequences. But not all teenagers handle themselves as badly as her and her boyfriend.

You''re making a big assumption there. Were you there? Did you see them not use protection? I guess I just don''t know where the idea of her being "stupid" came from.

What was stupid to you? That she had sex while in a monogamous relationship? That she got pregnant? Because you don''t know anything else. And how is she handling herself badly? By having the baby? By talking about it publicly?

Very confused here.

The pregnancy was accidental but I would hardly call her stupid. She made the decision that was best for her and is doing her best considering the circumstances. She is lucky to have been born to such a large family where was able to gain some experience with kids and receive a huge support system.

If anything, she''s handled it a lot better than I would have at her age, and I''m sure I was a lot more wild than her.

 

[iheartscience]

Well I think it''s pretty stupid to have unprotected sex when you don''t want a kid no matter what age you are! If they were protecting themselves every time they had sex, I highly doubt she would have a kid right now.

And like vesper, I agree that teenage sex isn''t some horrible, damaging thing. I''m quite sure that the majority of people who lose their virginity as a teenager end up just fine, and to assume otherwise is really just Puritanical silliness. Sex isn''t just for procreation-some people actually enjoy it!

 

[luckystar112]

Well we don't know if they had unprotected sex. And protection DOES fail, remember? At least that's what everyone tells me during the abortion debates.

It just seems like people are assuming she didn't use any because she's a teenager, when the truth is that we don't know. And assuming that all pregnant teens didn't use protection is just as dangerous as assuming that all women who have had abortions did it as a form of birth control. So to go as far as to say she's stupid and handling herself "badly" is just.......jumping the gun.

I ditto everything Haven said though.

 

[E B]

lucky,

I would imagine if they had been using protection (that failed), Bristol would have said so- it would have been the smart thing to do from a PR standpoint, that's for sure. She's kept pretty silent, though, which leads 'the public' (myself included) to believe they weren't. Actively trying to get pregnant is challenging enough- adding protection makes it much less likely.

But you're right, we can't say they definitely weren't using protection as a) it does fail and b) we weren't there!

 

[beebrisk]

Date: 2/22/2009 12:52:56 AM
Author: luckystar112
Well we don''t know if they had unprotected sex. And protection DOES fail, remember? At least that''s what everyone tells me during the abortion debates.

It just seems like people are assuming she didn''t use any because she''s a teenager, when the truth is that we don''t know. And assuming that all pregnant teens didn''t use protection is just as dangerous as assuming that all women who have had abortions did it as a form of birth control. So to go as far as to say she''s stupid and handling herself ''badly'' is just.......jumping the gun.


I ditto everything Haven said though.

Lucky, remember now...she is the daughter of Sarah Palin, so OF COURSE she had "stupid" sex!

 

[HollyS]

Post deleted. There simply is no point . . .

 

[E B]

Date: 2/21/2009 8:11:17 PM
Author: vespergirl
I disagree with the assumption on this board that sex is always bad for teenagers.

I agree, vesper (and steph, miracles)- it's one of the reasons why I feel the way I do about discussing options.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 2/21/2009 8:26:23 PM
Author: miraclesrule
Thank you vespergirl.

I was wondering when and if anyone who had teenage sex was going to come up to bat.

Most people know the way I was raised and it was a study in contrasts. I got pregnant at 18, (the first time I actually had intercourse), and was a single mother at 19. However, I am more responsible, self-sufficient, emotionally and physically healthy, than my more ''traditional'' siblings. Was it easy? Nope. Was it ''wrong'' ''bad''? Nope, it is was it is.

It''s another reason that I dislike sweeping generalizations.

I think the aspect of the Palin situation that most troubles me is the hypocrisy, but I love the irony.

Hey miracles, thanks for sharing your story as well. From what I know of you here on PS, you are obviously a strong and admirable woman. It seems that a person like yourself, who has such a strong character, had the maturity to raise a child at a young age, which I''m sure was no easy task. It''s really inspiring to hear stories from women like yourself who faced diffucult situations and came out on top.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 2/22/2009 12:52:56 AM
Author: luckystar112
Well we don''t know if they had unprotected sex. And protection DOES fail, remember? At least that''s what everyone tells me during the abortion debates.

It just seems like people are assuming she didn''t use any because she''s a teenager, when the truth is that we don''t know. And assuming that all pregnant teens didn''t use protection is just as dangerous as assuming that all women who have had abortions did it as a form of birth control. So to go as far as to say she''s stupid and handling herself ''badly'' is just.......jumping the gun.

I ditto everything Haven said though.

Hey lucky, I agree that saying that they were stupid and are handling themselves badly was probably a little harsh. However, I don''t see them acting like adults, I still see them acting like irresponsible teenagers. For instance, they are not married, nor have they set a wedding date, despite the fact that they say they are engaged - why didn''t they just get a quick legal marriage once they found out she was pregnant, if they are trying to be responsible parents? Also, her boyfriend I believe didn''t finish high school. How does he expect to contribute to the family in a meaningful way without a HS degree? And as far as Bristol''s parenting goes, she says that she takes care of the baby the whole time that she''s not at school. I''m assuming that she''s in school at least 6 hours a day - is she paying for daycare? I think not. She''s just pushed off that responsibility on her family members who I''m sure would rather be doing other things than raising a teenager''s child that she''s not yet prepared to care for herself. So, I do think that they haven''t handled the situation as mature adults - they''re acting like teenagers who are lucky that they have enough family around to raise a kid. So even though it seems like they''re doing the best they can with what they have, they are not taking full responsibility for their decisions - their extended families are.

 

[luckystar112]

Vesper, I guess I''m confused. I hope you don''t think I''m being snarky because I''m enjoying the dialogue!
But in one sentence you mentioned that it is bad that Levi quit school (did he?), and in the next sentence you are sort of criticizing Bristol for not paying for daycare while she is in school. I''m interested in hearing how you think that the situation should be handled. I guess from my perspective I think that she is extremely LUCKY to have a family who will help her so that she can finish school, especially with daycare prices being what they are (and I also think that the family has no problem doing so). Last I heard though, Levi quit his job and is going back to school.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 2/22/2009 12:12:28 PM
Author: luckystar112
Vesper, I guess I''m confused. I hope you don''t think I''m being snarky because I''m enjoying the dialogue!
But in one sentence you mentioned that it is bad that Levi quit school (did he?), and in the next sentence you are sort of criticizing Bristol for not paying for daycare while she is in school. I''m interested in hearing how you think that the situation should be handled. I guess from my perspective I think that she is extremely LUCKY to have a family who will help her so that she can finish school, especially with daycare prices being what they are (and I also think that the family has no problem doing so). Last I heard though, Levi quit his job and is going back to school.

That''s OK, I don''t mind clarifying. Honestly, in my perfect world, she would have either had a first trimerster abortion, or put it up for adoption, since they are obviously not self-sufficient or in a position to be raising a family. Since they do have the support of their families, and they have decided to keep the baby, I think it''s better off if they both finish school instead of ultimately becoming a burden on the system since they do have help, but I would prefer not to see 17 year olds attempting to raise children in general, since they are obviously not in a financial position to do it on their own. Some people can do it successfully, but many can''t. She is very lucky that she has a family to help her, but I think it''s irresponsible to inflict that type of responsibility on her family - doesn''t her family all ready have an infant with Down Syndrome to take care of? It''s just annoying the she claims that they are taking care of their baby, but they aren''t - they are helping, and most of the burden is falling on others.

 

[beebrisk]

Date: 2/22/2009 11:19:53 AM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 2/22/2009 12:52:56 AM

Author: luckystar112

Well we don''t know if they had unprotected sex. And protection DOES fail, remember? At least that''s what everyone tells me during the abortion debates.

It just seems like people are assuming she didn''t use any because she''s a teenager, when the truth is that we don''t know. And assuming that all pregnant teens didn''t use protection is just as dangerous as assuming that all women who have had abortions did it as a form of birth control. So to go as far as to say she''s stupid and handling herself ''badly'' is just.......jumping the gun.


I ditto everything Haven said though.

Hey lucky, I agree that saying that they were stupid and are handling themselves badly was probably a little harsh. However, I don''t see them acting like adults, I still see them acting like irresponsible teenagers. For instance, they are not married, nor have they set a wedding date, despite the fact that they say they are engaged - why didn''t they just get a quick legal marriage once they found out she was pregnant, if they are trying to be responsible parents? Also, her boyfriend I believe didn''t finish high school. How does he expect to contribute to the family in a meaningful way without a HS degree? And as far as Bristol''s parenting goes, she says that she takes care of the baby the whole time that she''s not at school. I''m assuming that she''s in school at least 6 hours a day - is she paying for daycare? I think not. She''s just pushed off that responsibility on her family members who I''m sure would rather be doing other things than raising a teenager''s child that she''s not yet prepared to care for herself. So, I do think that they haven''t handled the situation as mature adults - they''re acting like teenagers who are lucky that they have enough family around to raise a kid. So even though it seems like they''re doing the best they can with what they have, they are not taking full responsibility for their decisions - their extended families are.

For someone who professes to understand and condone the joy of sex for teens, are you not being a wee bit judgmental here? Seems to me the only difference between Bristol''s experience and yours is that you were LUCKY enough not to get pregnant.

As for her "pushing off" the responsibility of child care onto her family, well, uh, isn''t that kinda what families DO? I''m sure her family wasn''t thrilled that she got pregnant but because they are loving and supportive of her and her baby, in every way, you can deem her irresponsible?

You faced the same risks with your behavior years ago. BC fails too, you know (or at least that''s what all abortion advocates will keep repeating) High IQ scores and accelerated schooling didn''t save you. You just got lucky and dodged this bullet.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 2/22/2009 12:42:07 PM
Author: beebrisk

Date: 2/22/2009 11:19:53 AM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 2/22/2009 12:52:56 AM

Author: luckystar112

Well we don''t know if they had unprotected sex. And protection DOES fail, remember? At least that''s what everyone tells me during the abortion debates.

It just seems like people are assuming she didn''t use any because she''s a teenager, when the truth is that we don''t know. And assuming that all pregnant teens didn''t use protection is just as dangerous as assuming that all women who have had abortions did it as a form of birth control. So to go as far as to say she''s stupid and handling herself ''badly'' is just.......jumping the gun.


I ditto everything Haven said though.

Hey lucky, I agree that saying that they were stupid and are handling themselves badly was probably a little harsh. However, I don''t see them acting like adults, I still see them acting like irresponsible teenagers. For instance, they are not married, nor have they set a wedding date, despite the fact that they say they are engaged - why didn''t they just get a quick legal marriage once they found out she was pregnant, if they are trying to be responsible parents? Also, her boyfriend I believe didn''t finish high school. How does he expect to contribute to the family in a meaningful way without a HS degree? And as far as Bristol''s parenting goes, she says that she takes care of the baby the whole time that she''s not at school. I''m assuming that she''s in school at least 6 hours a day - is she paying for daycare? I think not. She''s just pushed off that responsibility on her family members who I''m sure would rather be doing other things than raising a teenager''s child that she''s not yet prepared to care for herself. So, I do think that they haven''t handled the situation as mature adults - they''re acting like teenagers who are lucky that they have enough family around to raise a kid. So even though it seems like they''re doing the best they can with what they have, they are not taking full responsibility for their decisions - their extended families are.

For someone who professes to understand and condone the joy of sex for teens, are you not being a wee bit judgmental here? Seems to me the only difference between Bristol''s experience and yours is that you were LUCKY enough not to get pregnant.

As for her ''pushing off'' the responsibility of child care onto her family, well, uh, isn''t that kinda what families DO? I''m sure her family wasn''t thrilled that she got pregnant but because they are loving and supportive of her and her baby, in every way, you can deem her irresponsible?

You faced the same risks with your behavior years ago. BC fails too, you know (or at least that''s what all abortion advocates will keep repeating) High IQ scores and accelerated schooling didn''t save you. You just got lucky and dodged this bullet.

I wasn''t "lucky" - I was smart, informed and responsible. Science will prove that combining hormonal birth control, which is 99% accurate with proper use, with barrier method birth control, which is around 95% effective with proper use, would have left me with an infintisemal chance of pregnancy, which is why I had sex for many years without ever becoming pregnant. Perhaps fundamentalist Christians and abstinence-only advocates would call that luck, but intellectuals would call that proven science. Also, if in defiance of those mathematical odds, I had become pregnant at 17, (I was a college freshman at that age) I would have had an abortion, because I would known that I would not have been in a financial position to raise a child on my own or with a partner. I would not have wanted to raise a child at that age, and I won''t apologize for enjoying sex - I know that a lot of Christian women are trained to hate sex, and I think that''s a tragedy, for themselves and their husbands. I would not have pushed off the responsibility of my reproductive choices on the government or my parents - I would have taken care of myself. Because of my smart and responsible choices, I got to enjoy my youth, and now have a husband and child, whom I had when I was ready to start a family. So, I defend that my preparedness and choices would have prevented me from ever turning out anything like Bristol Palin.

 

[akmiss]

Date: 2/22/2009 12:42:07 PM
Author: beebrisk

Date: 2/22/2009 11:19:53 AM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 2/22/2009 12:52:56 AM

Author: luckystar112

Well we don''t know if they had unprotected sex. And protection DOES fail, remember? At least that''s what everyone tells me during the abortion debates.

It just seems like people are assuming she didn''t use any because she''s a teenager, when the truth is that we don''t know. And assuming that all pregnant teens didn''t use protection is just as dangerous as assuming that all women who have had abortions did it as a form of birth control. So to go as far as to say she''s stupid and handling herself ''badly'' is just.......jumping the gun.


I ditto everything Haven said though.

Hey lucky, I agree that saying that they were stupid and are handling themselves badly was probably a little harsh. However, I don''t see them acting like adults, I still see them acting like irresponsible teenagers. For instance, they are not married, nor have they set a wedding date, despite the fact that they say they are engaged - why didn''t they just get a quick legal marriage once they found out she was pregnant, if they are trying to be responsible parents? Also, her boyfriend I believe didn''t finish high school. How does he expect to contribute to the family in a meaningful way without a HS degree? And as far as Bristol''s parenting goes, she says that she takes care of the baby the whole time that she''s not at school. I''m assuming that she''s in school at least 6 hours a day - is she paying for daycare? I think not. She''s just pushed off that responsibility on her family members who I''m sure would rather be doing other things than raising a teenager''s child that she''s not yet prepared to care for herself. So, I do think that they haven''t handled the situation as mature adults - they''re acting like teenagers who are lucky that they have enough family around to raise a kid. So even though it seems like they''re doing the best they can with what they have, they are not taking full responsibility for their decisions - their extended families are.

For someone who professes to understand and condone the joy of sex for teens, are you not being a wee bit judgmental here? Seems to me the only difference between Bristol''s experience and yours is that you were LUCKY enough not to get pregnant.

As for her ''pushing off'' the responsibility of child care onto her family, well, uh, isn''t that kinda what families DO? I''m sure her family wasn''t thrilled that she got pregnant but because they are loving and supportive of her and her baby, in every way, you can deem her irresponsible?

You faced the same risks with your behavior years ago. BC fails too, you know (or at least that''s what all abortion advocates will keep repeating) High IQ scores and accelerated schooling didn''t save you. You just got lucky and dodged this bullet.

WOW...

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 2/22/2009 12:42:07 PM
Author: beebrisk

Date: 2/22/2009 11:19:53 AM
Author: vespergirl

For someone who professes to understand and condone the joy of sex for teens, are you not being a wee bit judgmental here? Seems to me the only difference between Bristol''s experience and yours is that you were LUCKY enough not to get pregnant.

As for her ''pushing off'' the responsibility of child care onto her family, well, uh, isn''t that kinda what families DO? I''m sure her family wasn''t thrilled that she got pregnant but because they are loving and supportive of her and her baby, in every way, you can deem her irresponsible?

You faced the same risks with your behavior years ago. BC fails too, you know (or at least that''s what all abortion advocates will keep repeating) High IQ scores and accelerated schooling didn''t save you. You just got lucky and dodged this bullet.

One more thing that I forgot to address - you insinuated that you expected people''s families to care for their children - I don''t think that''s an extended family''s obligation. I live in an urban area where most couples I know moved for work, and are far away from their extended families. When I had my child, I decided to stay home full-time to provide the best care that I could. I would never have expected, or wanted, anyone else to take care of my child, whether that person be a grandparent, aunt, or nanny. So no, my family doesn''t care care of my child, I take care of him myself.

 

[miraclesrule]

Boo....forgot to hit the submit button.

I can''t possibly remember everything I wrote, but I will summarize.

Why don''t we cut Bristol Palin some slack. Maybe she is being smart for not wanting to marry Levi. Maybe that is just what she was "postitioned" to do because it was politically correct. If I were Bristol, I probably wouldn''t want to marry Levi either.

It''s difficult enough to plan for your baby''s future, without feeling forced to marry someone that she doesn''t want to spend the rest of her life with. So let''s cut the girl some slack. I think she is growing up fast, and I think that as an advocate, once she gets to step out of her Mom''s shadow....she is going to shine brighter than her Mother ever did.

I don''t think she is being irresponsible at this point. I think she is playing it smart, considering the hand she has been dealt. I hope she is able to get out from under their control and be her own woman...and nothing prepares you for that, quite like being a Mom and being put through what she has been put through at her age.

Bristol won''t be some crazy Casey psycho, so let''s stop treating her like one and send all our support to her....she is going to need it.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 2/22/2009 12:42:07 PM
Author: beebrisk

Date: 2/22/2009 11:19:53 AM
Author: vespergi

For someone who professes to understand and condone the joy of sex for teens, are you not being a wee bit judgmental here? Seems to me the only difference between Bristol''s experience and yours is that you were LUCKY enough not to get pregnant.

As for her ''pushing off'' the responsibility of child care onto her family, well, uh, isn''t that kinda what families DO? I''m sure her family wasn''t thrilled that she got pregnant but because they are loving and supportive of her and her baby, in every way, you can deem her irresponsible?

You faced the same risks with your behavior years ago. BC fails too, you know (or at least that''s what all abortion advocates will keep repeating) High IQ scores and accelerated schooling didn''t save you. You just got lucky and dodged this bullet.

I also just wanted to respond that after the personal attack that you launched against me in your last response, I find it very hypocritical of you for calling me judgmental. Perhaps you should confine your own judgmental tendencies against other PSers if you''re so offended by the idea of passing judgment.

 

[beebrisk]

Date: 2/22/2009 1:22:53 PM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 2/22/2009 12:42:07 PM

Author: beebrisk

Date: 2/22/2009 11:19:53 AM

Author: vespergirl

Date: 2/22/2009 12:52:56 AM


Author: luckystar112


Well we don''t know if they had unprotected sex. And protection DOES fail, remember? At least that''s what everyone tells me during the abortion debates.

It just seems like people are assuming she didn''t use any because she''s a teenager, when the truth is that we don''t know. And assuming that all pregnant teens didn''t use protection is just as dangerous as assuming that all women who have had abortions did it as a form of birth control. So to go as far as to say she''s stupid and handling herself ''badly'' is just.......jumping the gun.



I ditto everything Haven said though.

Hey lucky, I agree that saying that they were stupid and are handling themselves badly was probably a little harsh. However, I don''t see them acting like adults, I still see them acting like irresponsible teenagers. For instance, they are not married, nor have they set a wedding date, despite the fact that they say they are engaged - why didn''t they just get a quick legal marriage once they found out she was pregnant, if they are trying to be responsible parents? Also, her boyfriend I believe didn''t finish high school. How does he expect to contribute to the family in a meaningful way without a HS degree? And as far as Bristol''s parenting goes, she says that she takes care of the baby the whole time that she''s not at school. I''m assuming that she''s in school at least 6 hours a day - is she paying for daycare? I think not. She''s just pushed off that responsibility on her family members who I''m sure would rather be doing other things than raising a teenager''s child that she''s not yet prepared to care for herself. So, I do think that they haven''t handled the situation as mature adults - they''re acting like teenagers who are lucky that they have enough family around to raise a kid. So even though it seems like they''re doing the best they can with what they have, they are not taking full responsibility for their decisions - their extended families are.

For someone who professes to understand and condone the joy of sex for teens, are you not being a wee bit judgmental here? Seems to me the only difference between Bristol''s experience and yours is that you were LUCKY enough not to get pregnant.


As for her ''pushing off'' the responsibility of child care onto her family, well, uh, isn''t that kinda what families DO? I''m sure her family wasn''t thrilled that she got pregnant but because they are loving and supportive of her and her baby, in every way, you can deem her irresponsible?


You faced the same risks with your behavior years ago. BC fails too, you know (or at least that''s what all abortion advocates will keep repeating) High IQ scores and accelerated schooling didn''t save you. You just got lucky and dodged this bullet.

I wasn''t ''lucky'' - I was smart, informed and responsible. Science will prove that combining hormonal birth control, which is 99% accurate with proper use, with barrier method birth control, which is around 95% effective with proper use, would have left me with an infintisemal chance of pregnancy, which is why I had sex for many years without ever becoming pregnant. Perhaps fundamentalist Christians and abstinence-only advocates would call that luck, but intellectuals would call that proven science. Also, if in defiance of those mathematical odds, I had become pregnant at 17, (I was a college freshman at that age) I would have had an abortion, because I would known that I would not have been in a financial position to raise a child on my own or with a partner. I would not have wanted to raise a child at that age, and I won''t apologize for enjoying sex - I know that a lot of Christian women are trained to hate sex, and I think that''s a tragedy, for themselves and their husbands. I would not have pushed off the responsibility of my reproductive choices on the government or my parents - I would have taken care of myself. Because of my smart and responsible choices, I got to enjoy my youth, and now have a husband and child, whom I had when I was ready to start a family. So, I defend that my preparedness and choices would have prevented me from ever turning out anything like Bristol Palin.

Who said one word about "hating sex"??

You know, on second thought you''re right. Go ahead kids, have all the sex you want. It''s good for you. And heck, it''s fun too! Well, except of course if you happen to be raised in a Christian home and except if your IQ skews less than above average and of course, if you happen to be unlucky enough to be the stupid daughter of undoubtedly the stupidest woman in the world.

And remember, the only REAL responsible thing to do if you should you find yourself in Ms. Palin''s situation, is to have an abortion. Keeping the baby, raising it and doing the best you can is well, REALLY immature.

 

[beebrisk]

Date: 2/22/2009 1:38:32 PM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 2/22/2009 12:42:07 PM

Author: beebrisk

Date: 2/22/2009 11:19:53 AM

Author: vespergi

For someone who professes to understand and condone the joy of sex for teens, are you not being a wee bit judgmental here? Seems to me the only difference between Bristol''s experience and yours is that you were LUCKY enough not to get pregnant.


As for her ''pushing off'' the responsibility of child care onto her family, well, uh, isn''t that kinda what families DO? I''m sure her family wasn''t thrilled that she got pregnant but because they are loving and supportive of her and her baby, in every way, you can deem her irresponsible?


You faced the same risks with your behavior years ago. BC fails too, you know (or at least that''s what all abortion advocates will keep repeating) High IQ scores and accelerated schooling didn''t save you. You just got lucky and dodged this bullet.

I also just wanted to respond that after the personal attack that you launched against me in your last response, I find it very hypocritical of you for calling me judgmental. Perhaps you should confine your own judgmental tendencies against other PSers if you''re so offended by the idea of passing judgment.

Your entire opinion about the subject is based on the fact that you were smart about sex as a teen and Palin wasn''t.

Sorry, but how do YOU know??

Does that make every unwanted pregnancy the act of a "stupid" person??

If so, then why are we repeatedly told that abortion is the result of failed BC so often??

Personally, I think all TEEN sex is irresponsible and frankly STUPID. Stupid for putting themselves at risk not only for pregnancy, but disease and heartbreak as well.

 

[beebrisk]

Date: 2/22/2009 1:36:37 PM
Author: miraclesrule
Boo....forgot to hit the submit button.


I can''t possibly remember everything I wrote, but I will summarize.


Why don''t we cut Bristol Palin some slack. Maybe she is being smart for not wanting to marry Levi. Maybe that is just what she was ''postitioned'' to do because it was politically correct. If I were Bristol, I probably wouldn''t want to marry Levi either.


It''s difficult enough to plan for your baby''s future, without feeling forced to marry someone that she doesn''t want to spend the rest of her life with. So let''s cut the girl some slack. I think she is growing up fast, and I think that as an advocate, once she gets to step out of her Mom''s shadow....she is going to shine brighter than her Mother ever did.


I don''t think she is being irresponsible at this point. I think she is playing it smart, considering the hand she has been dealt. I hope she is able to get out from under their control and be her own woman...and nothing prepares you for that, quite like being a Mom and being put through what she has been put through at her age.


Bristol won''t be some crazy Casey psycho, so let''s stop treating her like one and send all our support to her....she is going to need it.

 

[luckystar112]

Yikes. I didn''t mean to start anything.

Vesper, I know you said that if you were in the same position you would have had an abortion, but obviously Bristol didn''t make that choice, so what do you think is the best way to handle the situation now? It seems that she doesn''t necessarily agree with her mother''s view on the right to life. I think that she is handling her situation the best she can so far. So many girls quit school after getting pregnant. I think this is especially true in Wasilla. She could have done the same thing and lived off of her family for as long as possible, but she is still in school, which I think is great. I think that Bristol WAS the mom while Sarah Palin was off campaigning and doing other political events. I do wonder about Trig though, and how much his needs are being met. Although I guess that situation is better than having 8 babies in the house with a mom more interested in geting her nails done ala'' Octomom.

Miracles, I agree. Perhaps it''s because my mother had me at 19, I don''t know.

 

[Haven]

I feel for Bristol Palin. It must be terribly frightening, overwhelming, and stressful to be a pregnant 18-year-old, and on top of that, to be scrutinized by the public. She is a very young adult, after all, and it seems like people forget that these are people we are judging when we criticize. People, with fears and anxieties and dreams and needs. How easy it is to assert and proclaim our own fabulous judgment while we criticize a young girl about to enter motherhood.

If we really cared about reducing teen pregnancies, we''d spend more time helping parents become effective parents and less time making them feel horrible about the choices they made that led up to their parenthood.

 

[Haven]

Date: 2/21/2009 8:11:17 PM
Author: vespergirl
I disagree with the assumption on this board that sex is always bad for teenagers. I have a high sex drive, and decided when I wanted to lose my virginity as a teenager. I was physically and emotionally prepared for it, and it was a wonderful experience. I was raised by Catholic immigrants and my mother was a control freak. The only thing that she ever told me was ''you will not have sex ... or else.'' I will also note that my mother & grandmother were raised with such repressed sexulaity that they always told me that they hated sex and that it was a part of life that they only tolerated - not enjoyed.

When I was in a secure and committed relationship, and not being pressured to have sex, by the way, I went to my Dr. and asked for birth control pills, and my boyfriend provided condoms. We had a wonderful, monogamous relationship for 3 years until I broke up with him when I left for college.

And just so you know, I''m not an irresponsible person who makes bad decisions. I was raised in an affluent suburb in a Republican conservative Catholic family. My school had me skip a grade after testing my IQ, and I was asked to participate in an intellectual talent search in the 7th grade where they had us students take the SAT and compared the scores to that of high school students. I graduated with honors, and went to an excellect private university and had a successful career. I always had happy and fulfilling monogamous relationships, and always used birth control.

I think it''s really sexist that many people on here assume that girls are being pressured into having sex, and that they cannot handle it or aren''t ready for it. I think that maturity and readiness differ between individuals. Even though I was ready for sex at a young age, there are many women that I know now in our 30s that still bad bad decisions when it comes to sex. But I do resent the idea that ''bad kids have sex'' - I think that there are plenty of stupid kids who have sex, like Bristol Palin, and deal with the consequences. But not all teenagers handle themselves as badly as her and her boyfriend.

Thank you for sharing your very personal experiences, Vespergirl. I have to admit I''m having a hard time wrapping my head around this, because you are right--I do assume that sex is always bad for teenagers, yet on the other hand I believe you and what you said about being ready and responsible enough to have sex as a teenager.

I really don''t have anything to add, I just wanted to thank you for sharing and to share that I''m struggling with identifying exactly why I still believe we should not support teens having sex.

My perspective is only based on my role as a high school teacher, and a former teen myself, and I just plain think that it is our job as adults to protect minors from themselves because (as brain science tells us) they do not yet possess the ability to fully comprehend the consequences of their actions. I''m having a hard time getting beyond that. I''m trying to see your perspective, though, so thank you for sharing.

For what it''s worth, I was one of those teens who did a lot of things I was not supposed to do. I went on to earn several degrees, I had only monogamous relationships, and I am now a happy, well-adjusted adult. However, I do wish that I had been given a little more guidance as a teenager, because I don''t think that engaging in those activities helped promote anything positive in my life. And I really just can''t get past the issue that teenagers are children, no matter what they appear to be by their behavior and their actions. They''re kids. They''re individuals, too, but they''re children, and it''s our job to help them develop into happy, successful, responsible adults. I just can''t see where sex has a place in that.

 

[beebrisk]

Date: 2/22/2009 3:37:06 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 2/21/2009 8:11:17 PM

Author: vespergirl

I disagree with the assumption on this board that sex is always bad for teenagers. I have a high sex drive, and decided when I wanted to lose my virginity as a teenager. I was physically and emotionally prepared for it, and it was a wonderful experience. I was raised by Catholic immigrants and my mother was a control freak. The only thing that she ever told me was ''you will not have sex ... or else.'' I will also note that my mother & grandmother were raised with such repressed sexulaity that they always told me that they hated sex and that it was a part of life that they only tolerated - not enjoyed.


When I was in a secure and committed relationship, and not being pressured to have sex, by the way, I went to my Dr. and asked for birth control pills, and my boyfriend provided condoms. We had a wonderful, monogamous relationship for 3 years until I broke up with him when I left for college.


And just so you know, I''m not an irresponsible person who makes bad decisions. I was raised in an affluent suburb in a Republican conservative Catholic family. My school had me skip a grade after testing my IQ, and I was asked to participate in an intellectual talent search in the 7th grade where they had us students take the SAT and compared the scores to that of high school students. I graduated with honors, and went to an excellect private university and had a successful career. I always had happy and fulfilling monogamous relationships, and always used birth control.


I think it''s really sexist that many people on here assume that girls are being pressured into having sex, and that they cannot handle it or aren''t ready for it. I think that maturity and readiness differ between individuals. Even though I was ready for sex at a young age, there are many women that I know now in our 30s that still bad bad decisions when it comes to sex. But I do resent the idea that ''bad kids have sex'' - I think that there are plenty of stupid kids who have sex, like Bristol Palin, and deal with the consequences. But not all teenagers handle themselves as badly as her and her boyfriend.

Thank you for sharing your very personal experiences, Vespergirl. I have to admit I''m having a hard time wrapping my head around this, because you are right--I do assume that sex is always bad for teenagers, yet on the other hand I believe you and what you said about being ready and responsible enough to have sex as a teenager.


I really don''t have anything to add, I just wanted to thank you for sharing and to share that I''m struggling with identifying exactly why I still believe we should not support teens having sex.

I don''t know if you''ll feel the same way Haven, but for me I believe we shouldn''t support it simply because the risks (and there are many) FAR outweigh the benefits. If I had to make a list of the positive things that result from teen sex I couldn''t come up with the first item.


We don''t condone our children smoking because it risks their health and future. Our society has gone to great lengths to warn kids and prevent them from picking up the habit in the first place. Because of this attitude and "intolerance" of the behavior, it''s deemed almost shameful to smoke now. Why shouldn''t teen sex be dealt with in the same way? Why shouldn''t we put as much effort into stopping our kids from having sex?

Instead there seems to be a consensus here that "kids are going to do it anyway, so..."

Would any parent ever dream of saying "Well honey, I know you''re smoking so I want make sure you have these low-tar cigarettes."? It''s unthinkable.

This is about the safety and well being (physical, mental, emotional) of children and it''s also very much about their future. For the life of me I cannot understand anyone being okay with their kid (or any kid for that matter) engaging in a sexual activity.

 

[VRBeauty]

Ditto Haven and Miracles -- Bristol Palin is media fodder by virtue of her mother''s choices. The Clintons, Bushes, and now the Obamas all opted to do their best to keep their children out of the Presidential spotlight and the media largely cooperated. Granted, Bristol Palin is a bit older, and she chose to give this interview, but she is in the spotlight (and on the defensive) only because her mother was a VP candidate. We might not agree with each of the choices Bristol and Levi have made, but it does seem like Bristol at least is taking her responsibilities as a new parent seriously. Cut them some slack.

Admittedly it''s been a long time since I was in high school, but I''ll go out on a limb and guess that Vespergirl''s experience is not the norm. In my experience, for many people high school is a time of a lot of bravado, insecurities, peer pressure, trying to find accptance and trying to find yourself... all of which can lead to bad decisions. Yes, good parenting can help offset some of that, but ... not even the best parents (or kids) are perfect, and heaven knows there are a lot of parents out there who haven''t a clue. I don''t see the benefit of assuming that all parents are up to the task of raising sexually responsible young adults when we know that isn''t the case, or of supporting abstinence as the only safe choice when we know that some kids will (consciously or otherwise) make unsafe choices.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 2/22/2009 3:14:11 PM
Author: luckystar112
Yikes. I didn''t mean to start anything.

Vesper, I know you said that if you were in the same position you would have had an abortion, but obviously Bristol didn''t make that choice, so what do you think is the best way to handle the situation now? It seems that she doesn''t necessarily agree with her mother''s view on the right to life. I think that she is handling her situation the best she can so far. So many girls quit school after getting pregnant. I think this is especially true in Wasilla. She could have done the same thing and lived off of her family for as long as possible, but she is still in school, which I think is great. I think that Bristol WAS the mom while Sarah Palin was off campaigning and doing other political events. I do wonder about Trig though, and how much his needs are being met. Although I guess that situation is better than having 8 babies in the house with a mom more interested in geting her nails done ala'' Octomom.

Miracles, I agree. Perhaps it''s because my mother had me at 19, I don''t know.

Well, now that she has the baby, it''s up to her to what she wants to do to raise it, as long as she doesn''t go on welfare, food stamps, or WIC. Because then I''M the one supporting her child. I would rather see every teenage and unwed mother in this country have an abortion or give their child up for adoption than have to use my tax dollars pay for welfare programs.

I am a free market libertarian. IMO, people can have as many children as they want, at any age that they want, as long as my money doesn''t go to support those kids. I''m not taking money from the government to help support my child, and IMO, neither should anyone else. If you can''t afford to have a child, don''t. If you get pregnant and can''t afford to have a child, then I guess you can have an abortion or give it up for adoption. If you have family in your life that will help you support the kid, that''s fine, but I disagree with stealing from the taxpayers to pay for other people''s mistakes. I don''t care if you''re Bristol Palin, the octo-mom, or whomever, but our society has made it too easy for people to have children who aren''t prepared to have them.

 

[E B]

Date: 2/22/2009 4:44:00 PM
Author: beebrisk

Would any parent ever dream of saying 'Well honey, I know you're smoking so I want make sure you have these low-tar cigarettes.'? It's unthinkable.

To me, the two can't really be compared, though I see where you're coming from. One is a dangerous, potentially deadly addiction that can't be enjoyed safely. The other is an activity that carries with it possible risks- if enjoyed safely, the risks are few to none.

Date: 2/22/2009 4:44:00 PM
Author: beebrisk

For the life of me I cannot understand anyone being okay with their kid (or any kid for that matter) engaging in a sexual activity.

Admitting that parents often have less control than they think they have over their child's decisions doesn't equal 'being okay with their kid engaging in sexual activity.' Granted, I don't feel safe, responsible teenage sex is the end of the world, but I'm not going to hand my child a box of condoms on his sixteenth birthday and tell him to go wild. He will know that his father and I want him to wait until he's in a loving, adult relationship before engaging in sexual activity. If he chooses to have sex before becoming an adult, however, I want to make sure he's as prepared as possible and isn't afraid to come to me with any questions or concerns. It's that simple.

 

[beebrisk]

Date: 2/22/2009 5:46:51 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 2/22/2009 4:44:00 PM

Author: beebrisk


Would any parent ever dream of saying ''Well honey, I know you''re smoking so I want make sure you have these low-tar cigarettes.''? It''s unthinkable.

To me, the two can''t really be compared, though I see where you''re coming from. One is a dangerous, potentially deadly addiction that can''t be enjoyed safely. The other is an activity that carries with it possible risks- if enjoyed safely, the risks are few to none.

Date: 2/22/2009 4:44:00 PM

Author: beebrisk


For the life of me I cannot understand anyone being okay with their kid (or any kid for that matter) engaging in a sexual activity.
e in

Admitting that parents often have less control than they think they have over their child''s decisions doesn''t equal ''being okay with their kid engaging in sexual activity.'' Granted, I don''t feel safe, responsible teenage sex is the end of the world, but I''m not going to hand my child a box of condoms on his sixteenth birthday and tell him to go wild. He will know that his father and I want him to wait until he''s in a loving, adult relationship before engaging in sexual activity. If he chooses to have sex before becoming an adult, however, I want to make sure he''s as prepared as possible and isn''t afraid to come to me with any questions or concerns. It''s that simple.

I guess it''s not ONLY the risk of disease and pregnancy that bothers me about teen sex. Personally, I have never met a teen (including myself, back in the day!) that was really, truly "ready" and prepared to have sex. They made be biologically and physically ready, but emotionally and mentally? No. Regardless of whether they''re advanced-placement, "A" student, Eagle Scouts. They''re still just kids.

I would also venture to say that most teens who engage in sex do not limit themselves to a single partner. You hear endless stories of kids having multiple partners by the time they''re 16 or 17. If I could find one constructive, good, positive thing about two 15 year olds having sexual intercourse, I''d think twice about my opinion...but I just can''t.

That said, I understand no parent has ultimate control over what their kid does. But I''d be heartbroken if it was my daughter.

 

[zhuzhu]

I don''t think any one of us, is saying that teen sex is a "good" thing and should be encouraged. The reality is that teen sex is happening in today''s society, and because of that, we need better education system and resources to HELP them from getting into trouble. This does not equal encouraging them for sex, and needs to be understood by abstinent-only advocates.

For those that argue no teenage sex can ever be good, I think you are forcing your own standard onto others. How do you REALLY KNOW that NO TEENAGER is truly ready/prepared to have sex? By assuming all teenagers are the same is dangerous, as all families are different and all teenagers have different goals in life. You have the right to bring up your child anyway you see fit, but to put down other''s children because they live by a different personal standard is judgmental and unproductive.

Who knows if Britol''s life is really better or worse because of this baby? What if she simply isn''t the "going to college" type and prefers to be a mom? Just because she is young does not make us know what she wants any better than she knows herself.