Bidet - ooh or eww?

[princesss]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:18:53 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 2/23/2010 10:14:55 PM

Author: princesss

Date: 2/23/2010 10:13:53 PM

Author: decodelighted

Date: 2/23/2010 10:02:17 PM

Author: princesss

I think you face outward, and have to do the pants-around-the-ankle shuffle. To face inward you''d have to take the pants off, or be an Olympic-level contortionist

And what, pray tell, do you suppose is getting all up & in those ground-dragging pants? Which you then pull up and back onto your person. And rub all over your car''s seat/couch/lap of a loved one. That''s right: STRANGE FECAL MATTER! Or, at the very least, splash back + tracked in dirt + man drippings. Get thee to a hamper, stat!

I don''t know about you, but I always carry a spare pair of pants and laundry hamper in my purse. I don''t associate with anybody that doesn''t.

ME TOO! They fit so snugly with my portable crouching goofy man spotter & an industrial sized vat of Purell. A gal has gotta be CLEAN for goddsake.

You mean you didn''t know? Portable crouching goofy men spotters now come in an expandable model! Just lightly sprinkle a 2"x2" compressed PCGMS with bidet water and he pops right up to help you maximize your crouching potential. Then when you''re done, just wrap him in the butt towel and toss him in the hamper. I know it''s changed MY life.

 

[somethingshiny]

PCGMS are not a one time use either. We will gladly return PCGMS with your clean butt towels. He''s been used before too.


Do you eat with your a$$?

Do you suffer from fecal matter?

Do you enjoy being shot in the a$$ with scalding or freezing water?

Do you enjoy knowing that water has dripped off of someone else''s a$$??


Then Bidets and Butt Towels are for you!! Get CRACKIN!

 

[megumic]

I''m on the floor laughing.

How about "sprinklers for your tinklers"...

 

[rierie26]

Seeing one makes me think, "Oooh fancy!" but the thought of actually using one (that wasn''t my own, in my own house) makes me go "Ew." But I''m kind of a germaphobe.

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:39:48 PM
Author: megumic
I''m on the floor laughing.


How about ''sprinklers for your tinklers''...

Love. It.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:44:52 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 2/23/2010 10:39:48 PM
Author: megumic
I'm on the floor laughing.


How about 'sprinklers for your tinklers'...

Love. It.

Sprinklers for your tinklers and towels for your bowels?

Hm.

ETA. Bowel Towel. It has a ring, right?

 

[somethingshiny]

Tgal~ Towels for your Bowels is a whole lot better than what I came up with....A$$wipes



eta- I think we will need a separate collection of Towels for those not feeling their best. They should come in yellow, green, and black.

 

[iheartscience]

Bowel towel is GENIUS. SOLD.

 

[TravelingGal]

Well, you all are going to have to beat TGuy and I to this...I have the secret weapon...Aussie man, Aussie Accent. Our company is going to be called

"G'day Bidet!"

 

[somethingshiny]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:56:45 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, you all are going to have to beat TGuy and I to this...I have the secret weapon...Aussie man, Aussie Accent. Our company is going to be called


''G''day Bidet!''

Perfect!! It''s like you''re addressing the equipment before you get intimate with it!

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:56:45 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, you all are going to have to beat TGuy and I to this...I have the secret weapon...Aussie man, Aussie Accent. Our company is going to be called


''G''day Bidet!''

Hmmm....I may have to grab my ex with the Aussie accent. He can be our model, too. He is really ridiculously good looking.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:56:45 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, you all are going to have to beat TGuy and I to this...I have the secret weapon...Aussie man, Aussie Accent. Our company is going to be called

''G''day Bidet!''

Loves it!!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:58:09 PM
Author: somethingshiny

Date: 2/23/2010 10:56:45 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, you all are going to have to beat TGuy and I to this...I have the secret weapon...Aussie man, Aussie Accent. Our company is going to be called


''G''day Bidet!''

Perfect!! It''s like you''re addressing the equipment before you get intimate with it!

Yes, I think the key is to get over the weirdness and get COMFY with it. Friendly. Intimate.

It''s your Bum Chum.

 

[somethingshiny]

Umm...I don''t care how good looking a man is. I really have no need to watch him using a bidet, or a Bowel Towel. Or even HOLDING a Bowel Towel, with a sheepish grin as he says "No more embarrassing skid marks."

 

[miraclesrule]

You folks are drinking the crazy kool-aid today!

Bidets rock! I remember one of the first safety articles in Hospitality Risk Management Magazine was an article about bidets. The author was telling a story of one of the first lawsuits he was managing and it involved a man who didn''t know how to use the bidet. He turned on the hot water and...well...it wasn''t pretty. The hotel staff responded to his room and found him lying in a fetal position while they called 911.

The article was fascinating because it went into the entire history of the bidet and why it is uncommon in America. It was linked to use in France by prostitutes and was beneath prudish Americans. However, some high end hotels built them into some penthouse rooms despite American sentiment. This particular hotel guest didn''t use it properly.

I found the history of the bidet far more interesting than the lawsuit itself.

When I went to Maui with 2 men and two other women. We rented a condo with 2 bedrooms and a convertible sofa. The men immediately staked their claim to the master bedroom indicating that it was for the men because the bathroom had a urinal.

Numbnuts...that is a bidet. A what?

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/23/2010 11:00:16 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Umm...I don''t care how good looking a man is. I really have no need to watch him using a bidet, or a Bowel Towel. Or even HOLDING a Bowel Towel, with a sheepish grin as he says ''No more embarrassing skid marks.''

What about just exiting the necessary facilities with wet, slicked back hair and a bowel towel casually draped in his hand?

 

[somethingshiny]

Oh great! Women are washing off their Lucky Charms too?!?! That means that the next woman who gets intimate with the bidet can get pregnant, right?!?! lol



princess~ Why is his hair wet? Did he have fecal matter in it too?

 

[smiles]

I see that i am kind of late to the thread but still wanted to comment! An earlier poster mentioned that they may be a great thing for women who have UTI issues and I have to say she is really right! At one point in my life I had a stream of UTI''s and yeast infections for about 6 months! My doctor suggested using the bidet (this is NOT the one that comes up from the bottom the one in our house (in canada) is of the first variety) and it helped immensly. without getting too descriptive i will leave it at the bidet helped keep the area clean and bacteria free and the water really soothed the pain and uncomfortableness as well.... its not something i use every single day but to this day if i feel any symptoms like a UTI or yeast infection its the first place i go and it always helps. i definitely say "ooh"

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/23/2010 11:06:18 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Oh great! Women are washing off their Lucky Charms too?!?! That means that the next woman who gets intimate with the bidet can get pregnant, right?!?! lol




princess~ Why is his hair wet? Did he have fecal matter in it too?

Sadly, yes. While he was really, ridiculously good-looking, he wasn''t that bright.

 

[somethingshiny]

I see why you left him. He was a sh!t head.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:51:56 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Tgal~ Towels for your Bowels is a whole lot better than what I came up with....A$$wipes




eta- I think we will need a separate collection of Towels for those not feeling their best. They should come in yellow, green, and black.

Ok, this whole thread had me rolling, but this comment seriously made me spit my wine out. Sorry laptop.

I have a legitimate question. Can you flush wipes? Also, does the bidet flush things as well? I can imagine a disgusting guy having umm... more than just a "smear" and where would it go once washed off? Does the doodie just hang out there, staring up at you?

 

[miraclesrule]

Smiles...

The best way to prevent UTI''s is a squirt bottle. Every morning and every night. Bidets work too!!

Actually, if you don''t have the money for a bidet, a nice sized Wilton plastic bottle from Michaels will do the trick.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Wow. I did not expect this thread to have taken this turn!

I'm in the "I'd like to try one but I'm confused camp. I shall stick to baby wipes in the meantime."

I was in Egypt last year and took a picture of the control panel for the toilet in our hotel room in Luxor. It took me 10 minutes to figure out why the damn thing wouldn't flush. I'm not kidding. Hope the picture shows the details.

ETA: you might notice this thing has THREE temp controls. Water, seat and dryer temperature settings. It was probably a once in a lifetime experience and I missed out.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:26:36 AM
Author: Travel Goddess
Wow. I did not expect this thread to have taken this turn!

I''m in the ''I''d like to try one but I''m confused camp. I shall stick to baby wipes in the meantime.''

I was in Egypt last year and took a picture of the control panel for the toilet in our hotel room in Luxor. It took me 10 minutes to figure out why the damn thing wouldn''t flush. I''m not kidding. Hope the picture shows the details.

ETA: you might notice this thing has THREE temp controls. Water, seat and dryer temperature settings. It was probably a once in a lifetime experience and I missed out.

LOL, wow! What''s the energy saver setting? Does it only do a half assed job then?

And I''m trying to figure out what the "move" button does. Move the spray maybe?

 

[miraclesrule]

Ahahahahaha TravelGoddess. That''s hysterical.

This is where someone needs to re-think the benefit of "global sign language"

 

[Phoenix]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:26:36 AM
Author: Travel Goddess
Wow. I did not expect this thread to have taken this turn!

I''m in the ''I''d like to try one but I''m confused camp. I shall stick to baby wipes in the meantime.''

I was in Egypt last year and took a picture of the control panel for the toilet in our hotel room in Luxor. It took me 10 minutes to figure out why the damn thing wouldn''t flush. I''m not kidding. Hope the picture shows the details.

ETA: you might notice this thing has THREE temp controls. Water, seat and dryer temperature settings. It was probably a once in a lifetime experience and I missed out.

He he, I think the Japanese have something like this. I''ve similar contraptions in restrooms in various Japanese restaurants. Never know how to operatate it though, LOL.

The whole bidet concept totally weirds me out

. DH loves it though.

 

[kimchi]

Oh! MOST helpful!!

 

[zhuzhu]

I like its functional aspect, but find having a separate unit in the bathroom to be wasteful for space!

 

[Amethyste]

I grew up with one

so its a "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

 

[sba771]

We have on in our apartment but it makes no sense. Our toilet is in one room and its just the toilet and sink. The bidet is in the other 'bathroom' that also has a sink, the shower/tube and next to it is the bidet. That seems odd to me since I would think you wouldn't want to run across the apartment with your pants down in order to use it. Its also not the kind that shoots water up so we have only used it to clean mud off our shoes. Oh, also in Germany the toilets have something called a sh*t shelf, I kid you not. It comes up if you google it.