Bidet - ooh or eww?

[ksluice]

Date: 2/23/2010 7:04:22 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 2/23/2010 6:07:38 PM

Author: IndyLady

If you got fecal matter on your elbows, are you saying it would be ok because you don''t eat with your elbows? Its still on your body, your underpants, and then in your hamper.

I''m guessing you don''t have kids yet ... or a pet. Believe me: Fecal matter is in YOUR hamper too. Maybe even someone ELSE''s.

I actually read that fecal matter is just this spreadable. They tested the bowls of snacks in bars and something like all of them were positive for fecal matter (they said due to folks not washing their hands). Maybe that makes the case for no tp in public since if folks aren''t wiping they aren''t getting fm on their hands. Perhaps the dingle berry is the more sanitary method in so far as the public is concerned?

 

[ksluice]

Date: 2/24/2010 9:20:45 AM
Author: TopoDazzle

Date: 2/23/2010 7:04:22 PM

Author: decodelighted

Date: 2/23/2010 6:07:38 PM


Author: IndyLady


If you got fecal matter on your elbows, are you saying it would be ok because you don''t eat with your elbows? Its still on your body, your underpants, and then in your hamper.

I''m guessing you don''t have kids yet ... or a pet. Believe me: Fecal matter is in YOUR hamper too. Maybe even someone ELSE''s.

I actually read that fecal matter is just this spreadable. They tested the bowls of snacks in bars and something like all of them were positive for fecal matter (they said due to folks not washing their hands). Maybe that makes the case for no tp in public since if folks aren''t wiping they aren''t getting fm on their hands. Perhaps the dingle berry is the more sanitary method in so far as the public is concerned?

OMG, I am so slow. I see this (and so much more) was already covered.

heavens.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 2/23/2010 6:53:46 PM
Author: somethingshiny

hilarious!

And, FWIW, it seems a lot of people use baby wipes, so we''re still CLEAN! It''s not like we''re walking around with dingleberries while the bidet users are squeaky clean.

Okay, this comment made me laugh so hard at my desk I had to put a caller on hold, LOL!!!

The bidet concept... I dunno. I''ll stick with my wipes.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:13:53 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 2/23/2010 10:02:17 PM
Author: princesss
I think you face outward, and have to do the pants-around-the-ankle shuffle. To face inward you''d have to take the pants off, or be an Olympic-level contortionist

And what, pray tell, do you suppose is getting all up & in those ground-dragging pants? Which you then pull up and back onto your person. And rub all over your car''s seat/couch/lap of a loved one. That''s right: STRANGE FECAL MATTER! Or, at the very least, splash back + tracked in dirt + man drippings. Get thee to a hamper, stat!

OMG tears are running down my face I am laughing so hard! Bwah hah hah hah hah!!!

 

[Indylady]

Date: 2/23/2010 7:34:22 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 2/23/2010 7:04:22 PM

Author: decodelighted

Date: 2/23/2010 6:07:38 PM


Author: IndyLady


If you got fecal matter on your elbows, are you saying it would be ok because you don''t eat with your elbows? Its still on your body, your underpants, and then in your hamper.

I''m guessing you don''t have kids yet ... or a pet. Believe me: Fecal matter is in YOUR hamper too. Maybe even someone ELSE''s.

LMAO!


It''s true...poo is everywhere!!!

Nope, no kids or pets! I guess the single life is more poop free than family life. I am now slightly alarmed at what awaits me once I do have kids...

 

[charbie]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:26:36 AM
Author: Travel Goddess
Wow. I did not expect this thread to have taken this turn!

I''m in the ''I''d like to try one but I''m confused camp. I shall stick to baby wipes in the meantime.''

I was in Egypt last year and took a picture of the control panel for the toilet in our hotel room in Luxor. It took me 10 minutes to figure out why the damn thing wouldn''t flush. I''m not kidding. Hope the picture shows the details.

ETA: you might notice this thing has THREE temp controls. Water, seat and dryer temperature settings. It was probably a once in a lifetime experience and I missed out.

Well crap.

We must be missing something over here in America. You definitely missed out on a great toilet experience, that''s for sure. My husband would love for us to install a TV in the bathroom, but i think that contraption is much more interesting.

 

[somethingshiny]

Re: the unit''s control....

I live in the Midwest where we have frequent power outages due to the weather. What would you do if you were mid spray and the power went out? I know a toilet will still flush with no power (thank god) but if the bidet is so technologically in-depth for use....???? And, if your bidet has a dryer and you don''t require Bowel Towels, and then the power goes out, you know what you would have to do?? USE YOUR GOOD GUEST TOWELS on your filthy arse!

This is just getting worse for me!! I think I may be developing bidetophobia.

 

[Maria D]

oh my god I''m home from work because I threw out my back and this thread is NOT helping. Raucous laughter does not go well with back spasms! Not to mention that it hurts just thinking about contorting myself on a bidet worrying about spray up, spray across...

My first encounter with a bidet was at my cousin''s aunt''s house in France when I was 14 years old. I thought it was a urinal--good thing being female I have no use for a urinal or I might have peed in it before my cousin set me straight. This family did not use the bidet as a post-wipe-washing-station-after-every-potty-visit. They used it to wash up their private parts on days when they were not taking a full bath because, gasp, they did not bathe every day! So that''s what I always thought bidets were for. Daily showering is a pretty modern (and some would say unnecessary, especially if you have a bidet) thing, no? This family didn''t worry about distance from bidet to toilet and where to put the pants because they were likely as naked using the bidet as we would be showering.

I would definitely love a bidet. Right now I''d set the water on HOT and see if I could get the spray on my back.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:13:58 PM
Author: princesss
So here''s the deal. We''ve got a great business opportunity here. Elle and sunnyd (I think) will provide the heated toilets and bidets (just heat the seats, please, not the water. Nobody needs to scald their hoo-ha). I''ll embroider the (brown) butt towels. SomethingShiny will send them to the cleaners, and return with clean butt towels. We could set this up in every major $$$ hotel in the US. We''ll just tell them it''s the latest bathroom fad in Europe. It sells that weird hair remover on TV, it''s gotta work!

Who''s in?

I''m IN!

 

[sbde]

haha hilarious thread!

for me a bidet is neither ooh nor eww...it''s an absolute necessity! of course the ones we''ve grown up with don''t fall in any category that''s been posted so far. here''s a linky

it''s more of a hand shower that hangs near the toilet - essential i tell you!!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:11:03 PM
Author: sbde
haha hilarious thread!

for me a bidet is neither ooh nor eww...it''s an absolute necessity! of course the ones we''ve grown up with don''t fall in any category that''s been posted so far. here''s a linky

it''s more of a hand shower that hangs near the toilet - essential i tell you!!

Oooh!

Adding that to my Christmas list.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:11:03 PM
Author: sbde
haha hilarious thread!

for me a bidet is neither ooh nor eww...it''s an absolute necessity! of course the ones we''ve grown up with don''t fall in any category that''s been posted so far. here''s a linky

it''s more of a hand shower that hangs near the toilet - essential i tell you!!

That looks like it could get outta control pretty quickly. I''m all for proper wiping technique classes so I don''t have to put a hose up my butt to get it clean.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

I knew better than to open this thread at work, but did that stop me??? Nooooooo . . .

Here''s a list of some of the points at which I had to shut my office door and lose it for a second (in no particular order, and not all-inclusive):

- G''Day Bidet
- Bowel Towel
- Shiny: "I see why you left him. He was a sh!t head."

OK, you guys have to stop now . . . my ribs hurt!!!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:26:51 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 2/24/2010 12:11:03 PM
Author: sbde
haha hilarious thread!

for me a bidet is neither ooh nor eww...it''s an absolute necessity! of course the ones we''ve grown up with don''t fall in any category that''s been posted so far. here''s a linky

it''s more of a hand shower that hangs near the toilet - essential i tell you!!

That looks like it could get outta control pretty quickly. I''m all for proper wiping technique classes so I don''t have to put a hose up my butt to get it clean.

I could use it to teach DH to stay out of the bathroom when I''m on the toilet!

 

[kama_s]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:11:03 PM
Author: sbde
haha hilarious thread!

for me a bidet is neither ooh nor eww...it''s an absolute necessity! of course the ones we''ve grown up with don''t fall in any category that''s been posted so far. here''s a linky

it''s more of a hand shower that hangs near the toilet - essential i tell you!!

You MUST be South Asian! That''s what you find regularly in India! My husband has a really hard time visiting India because he does get the ''wash, not wipe'' rule. All Indian people make fun of Westerners because they''re so ''dumb they wipe their *ss with paper'', which is what the poor do in India (although they use newspaper, not my fuzzy and soft Charmin''

)

 

[geckodani]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:44:31 PM
Author: kama_s

You MUST be South Asian! That''s what you find regularly in India! My husband has a really hard time visiting India because he does get the ''wash, not wipe'' rule. All Indian people make fun of Westerners because they''re so ''dumb they wipe their *ss with paper'', which is what the poor do in India (although they use newspaper, not my fuzzy and soft Charmin''

)

Ow!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:44:13 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 2/24/2010 12:26:51 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 2/24/2010 12:11:03 PM
Author: sbde
haha hilarious thread!

for me a bidet is neither ooh nor eww...it''s an absolute necessity! of course the ones we''ve grown up with don''t fall in any category that''s been posted so far. here''s a linky

it''s more of a hand shower that hangs near the toilet - essential i tell you!!

That looks like it could get outta control pretty quickly. I''m all for proper wiping technique classes so I don''t have to put a hose up my butt to get it clean.

I could use it to teach DH to stay out of the bathroom when I''m on the toilet!

Hahaha!! Yes, I see a lot of toilet water spraying fights happening.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:11:03 PM
Author: sbde
haha hilarious thread!

for me a bidet is neither ooh nor eww...it''s an absolute necessity! of course the ones we''ve grown up with don''t fall in any category that''s been posted so far. here''s a linky

it''s more of a hand shower that hangs near the toilet - essential i tell you!!

I totally agree: handshowers beside the toilet is essential! As a friend said "if you step on doggy doo, you don''t just wipe your hands".

I am amazed at the technology of the nidets mentioned here. The bidets I commonly see are very simple, with no electronic devices. Just three taps (one for hot water, another for cold and the third for the jet).

 

[kama_s]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:52:13 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 2/24/2010 12:44:13 PM
Author: elledizzy5

I could use it to teach DH to stay out of the bathroom when I''m on the toilet!

Hahaha!! Yes, I see a lot of toilet water spraying fights happening.

*ahem* been there done that

To my defense, I was maybe 5 at the time?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:57:47 PM
Author: kama_s

Date: 2/24/2010 12:52:13 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 2/24/2010 12:44:13 PM
Author: elledizzy5

I could use it to teach DH to stay out of the bathroom when I''m on the toilet!

Hahaha!! Yes, I see a lot of toilet water spraying fights happening.

*ahem* been there done that

To my defense, I was maybe 5 at the time?

Never to old to squirt toilet water at your loved ones.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:55:38 PM
Author: Lady_Disdain

Date: 2/24/2010 12:11:03 PM
Author: sbde
haha hilarious thread!

for me a bidet is neither ooh nor eww...it''s an absolute necessity! of course the ones we''ve grown up with don''t fall in any category that''s been posted so far. here''s a linky

it''s more of a hand shower that hangs near the toilet - essential i tell you!!

I totally agree: handshowers beside the toilet is essential! As a friend said ''if you step on doggy doo, you don''t just wipe your hands''.

I am amazed at the technology of the nidets mentioned here. The bidets I commonly see are very simple, with no electronic devices. Just three taps (one for hot water, another for cold and the third for the jet).

For when it''s really caked on there?

 

[Arkteia]

I am seriously contemplating dropping a suggestion into the Suggestions Box to make this Bidet Thread an Official Forum. I am positive the list of postings will never get exhausted! Also, we shall be able to make individual postings all the time. Something like, "Just bought a Japanese bidet..." or "Bidet 911" or "What do you think of this construction"? Or even, "Lookie at what my DH has bought me for a Valentine". As it stands now, it is not eye-catching unless you know about this thread.

Or, how about this, "Bidet a..-candy"? (Sorry!)

 

[sbde]

Date: 2/24/2010 12:44:31 PM
Author: kama_s

Date: 2/24/2010 12:11:03 PM
Author: sbde
haha hilarious thread!

for me a bidet is neither ooh nor eww...it's an absolute necessity! of course the ones we've grown up with don't fall in any category that's been posted so far. here's a linky

it's more of a hand shower that hangs near the toilet - essential i tell you!!

You MUST be South Asian! That's what you find regularly in India! My husband has a really hard time visiting India because he does get the 'wash, not wipe' rule. All Indian people make fun of Westerners because they're so 'dumb they wipe their *ss with paper', which is what the poor do in India (although they use newspaper, not my fuzzy and soft Charmin'

)

haha yes! although i think this is more of a south asian/middle eastern gadget. my 7 yr old niece was beyond thrilled that they had them in the public bathrooms @ Dubai airport haha

tell your hubby that we've always used the wash AND wipe rule - highly recommended

 

[kama_s]

Date: 2/24/2010 2:10:17 PM
Author: sbde

Date: 2/24/2010 12:44:31 PM
Author: kama_s



You MUST be South Asian! That''s what you find regularly in India! My husband has a really hard time visiting India because he does get the ''wash, not wipe'' rule. All Indian people make fun of Westerners because they''re so ''dumb they wipe their *ss with paper'', which is what the poor do in India (although they use newspaper, not my fuzzy and soft Charmin''

)

haha yes! although i think this is more of a south asian/middle eastern gadget. my 7 yr old niece was beyond thrilled that they had them in the public bathrooms @ Dubai airport haha

tell your hubby that we''ve always used the wash AND wipe rule - highly recommended

I''d like to think that''s the Indian influence in U.A.E.

, having lived in Dubai for 18 years!

Yes, indeed, except he hates that the wash comes BEFORE the wipe! LOL

 

[sbde]

Date: 2/24/2010 2:16:21 PM
Author: kama_s

Date: 2/24/2010 2:10:17 PM
Author: sbde

Date: 2/24/2010 12:44:31 PM
Author: kama_s



You MUST be South Asian! That's what you find regularly in India! My husband has a really hard time visiting India because he does get the 'wash, not wipe' rule. All Indian people make fun of Westerners because they're so 'dumb they wipe their *ss with paper', which is what the poor do in India (although they use newspaper, not my fuzzy and soft Charmin'

)

haha yes! although i think this is more of a south asian/middle eastern gadget. my 7 yr old niece was beyond thrilled that they had them in the public bathrooms @ Dubai airport haha

tell your hubby that we've always used the wash AND wipe rule - highly recommended

I'd like to think that's the Indian influence in U.A.E.

, having lived in Dubai for 18 years!

Yes, indeed, except he hates that the wash comes BEFORE the wipe! LOL

haha i actually think it's because of the islamic emphasis on washing/cleanliness - these gadgets are otherwise more commonly known as 'muslim showers' believe it or not!!

btw kudos to your hubby for embracing his inner indian

 

[kama_s]

Date: 2/24/2010 2:20:04 PM
Author: sbde

Date: 2/24/2010 2:16:21 PM
Author: kama_s

Date: 2/24/2010 2:10:17 PM
Author: sbde

Date: 2/24/2010 12:44:31 PM
Author: kama_s



You MUST be South Asian! That''s what you find regularly in India! My husband has a really hard time visiting India because he does get the ''wash, not wipe'' rule. All Indian people make fun of Westerners because they''re so ''dumb they wipe their *ss with paper'', which is what the poor do in India (although they use newspaper, not my fuzzy and soft Charmin''

)

haha yes! although i think this is more of a south asian/middle eastern gadget. my 7 yr old niece was beyond thrilled that they had them in the public bathrooms @ Dubai airport haha

tell your hubby that we''ve always used the wash AND wipe rule - highly recommended

I''d like to think that''s the Indian influence in U.A.E.

, having lived in Dubai for 18 years!

Yes, indeed, except he hates that the wash comes BEFORE the wipe! LOL

haha i actually think it''s because of the islamic emphasis on washing/cleanliness - these gadgets are otherwise more commonly known as ''muslim showers'' believe it or not!!

btw kudos to your hubby for embracing his inner indian

Fiiinneee. You win!

Yup, and he also now knows how to do the lightbulb dance, also known as Bhangra (i.e., Punjabi MC style)

 

[somethingshiny]

Re: the Handy Spray link.

Now, my bidetophobia is spreading to my kitchen sprayer, too....

And, again, I think; "whose dirty hands have touched the sprayer that I''m now holding??" Because obviously you don''t get up and wash your hands, pants around the ankle, then hobble back to the potty to use your Handy Spray. Additionally, your technique would have to be AMAZING to not splash that all over!

 

[Haven]

Date: 2/23/2010 4:46:24 PM
Author: charbie
I''m so curious now that I''ve read this whole thread. I''ve been to Europe but never tried one. I might need to look into this.

My hubby uses baby wipes (seriously cannot go #2 without them) and says they have changed his whole view on life.

This is what we do. We keep baby wipes in our bathrooms, and I travel with a package in my purse. The idea of only using paper to clean up is really ewwww to me.

I''ve never used a bidet, though.

 

[sbde]

Date: 2/24/2010 2:24:58 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Re: the Handy Spray link.

Now, my bidetophobia is spreading to my kitchen sprayer, too....

And, again, I think; ''whose dirty hands have touched the sprayer that I''m now holding??'' Because obviously you don''t get up and wash your hands, pants around the ankle, then hobble back to the potty to use your Handy Spray. Additionally, your technique would have to be AMAZING to not splash that all over!

haha i would think it would only be as dirty as the flush of the toilet - as long as you wash your hands thoroughly afterwards it''s all good! of course in public places (like the dubai airport haha) i wrap the handyspray handle up with toiletpaper just because i''m germophobic in the same way that i only flush public toilets with my feet!!

 

[Haven]

Oh my gosh, I just finished reading this thread and I fear I will not be able to stop laughing enough to get ready to teach tonight.

"G''day bidet."

Holy crap.