And the drama continues...

[300GCP]

I have cleaned it. Honestly, it does look to be inside of the stone but I would be willing to look into anything.

Polishing compound can not be cleaned off by you or I, or even a jeweler.
It requires boiling in acid by a qualified facility that polishes diamonds.
I assume they will remove the diamond from the setting before doing this.

To determine if it is internal or gunk on the surface use a loupe or microscope.
They use focus to establish if it is internal or on the surface.
Because of diamond's high index of refraction (their ability to change the angle of light a great deal) they can play tricks with where we think inclusions are.
Sometimes they can even make one inclusion appear several times.

Where can I buy a loupe (assuming I want to do it today in person and not online)?

 

[slg47]

I have cleaned it. Honestly, it does look to be inside of the stone but I would be willing to look into anything.

Polishing compound can not be cleaned off by you or I, or even a jeweler.
It requires boiling in acid by a qualified facility that polishes diamonds.
I assume they will remove the diamond from the setting before doing this.

To determine if it is internal or gunk on the surface use a loupe or microscope.
They use focus to establish if it is internal or on the surface.
Because of diamond's high index of refraction (their ability to change the angle of light a great deal) they can play tricks with where we think inclusions are.
Sometimes they can even make one inclusion appear several times.

Where can I buy a loupe (assuming I want to do it today in person and not online)?

I am not sure but if you go to any jeweler they will have one.

do you have the GIA report number?

 

[kenny]

Hmm, Home Depot may have a little 10x magnifier loupe, but it may not be the jeweler's loupe kind that pivots into a case but it will work.
A camera store may have a 10x magnifier intended for examining film.
This will also work; 10x is 10x.

Also check a shop that sells coins or stamps for collectors?
Any jeweler or pawn shop will have one they may let you use.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Looks like Kmart carries one, but I recommend calling to see if they have one in the store:

http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104_010V003748220000P?vName=Tools&cName=Measuring,Levels&StudFinders&sName=Precision%20Tools&sid=KDx01192011x000001&srccode=cii_17588969&cpncode=21-110072528-2

Mine have come from Amazon or ebay, so I have never tried to buy one locally. But if you can look at the inclusion plot, it should confirm if this is an inclusion or not.

 

[kenny]

You could call your fiance and ask him to look at the plot.

This is a totally reasonable request and you should not fear asking IMHO.

 

[Lula]

You can buy a loupe at any store that sells jewelry making supplies (bead store; hobby store; lapidary store). Some bookstores carry 10x power magnifiers (pocket size), too. A 10x loupe or reading magnifier should cost between 10 and 30 bucks.

I agree with those who are suggesting this might be something stuck on the outside of the diamond. A jewelry store can also show your diamond under a microscope (30x magnification, I believe) and help you identify the stone's inclusions. And they will give it a professional cleaning. They may do this for free, or they may charge for the service, but I would definitely take your ring out for a stroll today and get it professionally cleaned and looked at under a scope. You don't have to give the store any of the details, just tell them you're shopping for wedding bands, or whatever, and ask if they would be willing to clean your ring and check the stone and setting under their microscope. They may even offer to do this for you, gratis, while you browse.

ETA: Thanks for providing more details and the photos. I agree with Circe, a few posts above; given what you told us about the jeweler, I believe they will do whatever they can to find you a stone you are happy with. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh in my earlier post, and I do hope this speck is just goop on the outside of your stone!

 

[300GCP]

You could call your fiance and ask him to look at the plot.

This is a totally reasonable request and you should not fear asking IMHO.

Oh, I definitely would, but he is not physically in his office here in New York today. Unfortunately for him, he had to fly a commuter flight down to North Carolina today.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Hmmm, maybe I can catch up with him and have a little chat!

 

[kenny]

Hmmm, maybe I can catch up with him and have a little chat!

Yes, DS, you need to slap that man around!

 

[300GCP]

Hmmm, maybe I can catch up with him and have a little chat!

Yes, DS, you need to slap that man around!

Lol. If you see him tell him I'm sorry I'm cursed with the eagle eye.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Hmmm, maybe I can catch up with him and have a little chat!

Yes, DS, you need to slap that man around!

Lol. If you see him tell him I'm sorry I'm cursed with the eagle eye.

Lol! I'd use southern charm, Kenny! That works MUCH better! He'd go back and feel thrilled to look for a VS2! Haha!

 

[kenny]

Hmmm, maybe I can catch up with him and have a little chat!

Yes, DS, you need to slap that man around!

Lol. If you see him tell him I'm sorry I'm cursed with the eagle eye.

Lol! I'd use southern charm, Kenny! That works MUCH better! He'd go back and feel thrilled to look for a VS2! Haha!

Well, I DO declaaah!

 

[300GCP]

I wonder if perhaps I am not as sensitive to color differences. The current stone is a G, and I think it looks completely white. I do not see any tint. I wonder, if he opens up to the idea of changing it for a FINAL time, if it would make sense to go up to VS2 and down to H.

 

[slg47]

I wonder if perhaps I am not as sensitive to color differences. The current stone is a G, and I think it looks completely white. I do not see any tint. I wonder, if he opens up to the idea of changing it for a FINAL time, if it would make sense to go up to VS2 and down to H.

well if you DO change it I think you should be there to make sure it is exactly what YOU want, so you can look at color/clarity/etc.

that being said I really do hope it is polishing compound, and please do keep us updated.

 

[kenny]

I wonder if perhaps I am not as sensitive to color differences. The current stone is a G, and I think it looks completely white. I do not see any tint. I wonder, if he opens up to the idea of changing it for a FINAL time, if it would make sense to go up to VS2 and down to H.

Uh OH.

 

[300GCP]

I wonder if perhaps I am not as sensitive to color differences. The current stone is a G, and I think it looks completely white. I do not see any tint. I wonder, if he opens up to the idea of changing it for a FINAL time, if it would make sense to go up to VS2 and down to H.

well if you DO change it I think you should be there to make sure it is exactly what YOU want, so you can look at color/clarity/etc.

that being said I really do hope it is polishing compound, and please do keep us updated.

If it does happen, I will NEVER let him go alone. For his own sake.

 

[300GCP]

By the way, during the "show down" on this topic, FI said "can we get it lasered out?" I take it this is impossible and, even if not, that it probably is risky and devalues the stone?

 

[slg47]

not impossible, depending on what it is. but the first step is to find out what it is!

 

[kenny]

By the way, during the "show down" on this topic, FI said "can we get it lasered out?" I take it this is impossible and, even if not, that it probably is risky and devalues the stone?

Yes it devalues the stone a lot if you every wanted to sell it or trade up.
After lasering out the inclusion they fill it with stuff.
That stuff is not permanent and can be affected by the heat that is necessary to work on your setting.

I think lasering out this inclusion is a terrible idea.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Haha! I know you can't tell a THING about color from photos, but my diamond is a 1.63 ct. H VS1.

Here's a thread with a few pictures on the first page:

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/thank-you-andrey-leon-jonathan-and-tiffany.80475/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/thank-you-andrey-leon-jonathan-and-tiffany.80475/[/URL]

(Apologies for the wrinkled, old hands. Joke related to another thread in hangout!)

(No, I do not think you would want to even THINK about trying to do an enhancement to a diamond that nice. That is usually done on very included stones to make them sellable.

And great pic, Kenny! It's just that my daughter looks more like that pic than I do!

 

[Lightfoot]

Oh, I have JUST the thread for you!

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/unique-and-unusual-post-them-here.18524/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/unique-and-unusual-post-them-here.18524/[/URL]

You just made my day

Also - if the jeweler has the GIA report #, we can look it up. I believe reports after July 2009 are available as PDFs online (which should have a nice inclusion map to look at).

 

[minmin001]

By the way, during the "show down" on this topic, FI said "can we get it lasered out?" I take it this is impossible and, even if not, that it probably is risky and devalues the stone?

Laser drill is going to make the diamond worth alot less than untreated ones

 

[300GCP]

That's what I figured (about the laser drilling).

 

[Dreamer_D]

300 this is not a catastrophe. This is life in a marriage, and working through these sorts of things is part of having a good relationship.

I had a somewhat similar experience with my husband. He wanted to surprise me with my e-ring. I am not the surrpises type. I have him photos and information about sapphires (which I wanted at the time), and he felt hurt that I "did not trust him". I assured him that was not the case and backed off. Engagement day comes, and I was disappointed with me ring. Not very cheritable, but there it is. I did not really say anything, but as time went on, I wanted a change. And many changes ensued (see my threads for the run down if you like). Throughout the process, at first my husabnd expressed some hurt. He wanted to please me the first time. To HIM it was a measure of his love for me to be able to intuit what I wanted. He also is the type to beat himself up and say things like "Oh, I can't believe I screwed it up again!", just like your FI.

But the reality is that in those earlier days we did not know each other very well. I am picky and particular and perhaps a little controlling. He loves me for those qualities, but did not realize they extended to jewelery And he is very sensitive and needs a lot of assurance and direct expressions of love. But we did not really know that about each other at the time. Not fully. Two years together is not the same as six, or 10, or 20. And our experiences with my e-ring helped us to learn about each other -- our preferences, our ways of communicating, and perhaps most germane to this issue, how to communicate unhappiness with something one's spouse did or said while still affirming love of the spouse and love for the relationship. Cuz ya know, fights happen. Disagreements happen. All the time! A good relationship comes from being able to express your feelings -- even your critical or negative feelings -- in a way that minimizes hurt for your spouse. It does not come from never expressing those feelings.

Do you see what I am getting at? This issue of the diamond is really not such a big issue. Go exchange the diamond together. And then use this experience as a jumping point to learn about each other, talk about your emotions and reactions, and the hopes you had for thie scenerio, and what you have learned about yourselves and each other form this process. If you do that, you will be closer and better together for it. And the drama will cease.

FWIW that inclusion (if an inclusion at all, go to a jewler and look into the polishing compound possbility for sure) would be a deal breaker for the stone for me!

 

[MyDiamondSparkles]

I wonder if perhaps I am not as sensitive to color differences. The current stone is a G, and I think it looks completely white. I do not see any tint. I wonder, if he opens up to the idea of changing it for a FINAL time, if it would make sense to go up to VS2 and down to H.

I have a G and an H and I can't tell the difference at all. I also have an I and it really faces up as white as the G, but it may have some flourescence to it. So defintely this may be an option for you. Of course I am ho0lding out high hopes that the inlcusion is really just gunk and polishing compund. It really is a lovely ring.

On the ":If he opens up to the idea of changing it for a final time": Okay, so see, this is what the dishwasher post is all about. It's not about the not emptying of the dishwasher at all. It's about how to get the dishwasher emptied without "unloading" (no pun intended) all of those hurt feelings and anger (for both you and him). One sure way to NOT get the dishwasher emptied at my house is to be all angry and teatful about it--that's why you gotta address those feelings first, then ask for what you want in a cool, calm collected manner with no tears. And if you address his feelings too, then he can approach the subject without bringing all of the pent up emotions to the table----which always leads to arguments and very hurt feelings and sometimes things are said that can never be taken back.

If it were me, I'd open up by saying how important he is to you and how you want this ring to really reflect how perfect he is and every time you look at it you will think of how perfect you are for each other (I mean if these are you true feelings). Those words will melt his heart if you speak them from your heart.

If you approach it with a "I knew I should have gone with you....how can you not see that big inclusion right there on the table--this is soo NOT eye clean, not at all what I said I wanted, blah, blah, blah...", all he will do is throw back at you how you are impossible to please, he isn't even going to enter into the discussion, you are being totally ridiculous, he's bent over backwards for you and the jeweler thinks you are a nut, etc, etc--and then throw in a I must not be good enough for you or my standards aren't good enough for you and whatever else he can think of. And then the both of you will always have bad feelings about this purchase and discussions of this type never lead to anything good. Ya' know?

I am sure this might sound like pychobabble to some, but engagement rings are an emotional purchase for most of us, because of what they represent and we tend wear them daily.This is such an exciting time in your lives. I'd make it something you will look back at think of fondly. How you both worked together to make each other happy. One day you will laugh with each other about all of this.

Hugs,
MDS

 

[Sheherizaad]

The black spot (dot?) is very visible to me. I'm not saying this to be negative in any way, but if anything am trying to validate (not that you need it) the opinion of "You're not being picky."

I also want to say that I have (over the years) dwindling vision...lol, but when I went ring shopping with my Fiance, I brought my eye glasses. Even if your fiance has poor vision and even if the appraiser (co-worker?) also had poor vision, that's what eye glasses are for, no?

Don't harbor your feelings and don't let it go... Listen to your heart (and head) and continue to hash it out.

 

[300GCP]

The black spot (dot?) is very visible to me. I'm not saying this to be negative in any way, but if anything am trying to validate (not that you need it) the opinion of "You're not being picky."

I also want to say that I have (over the years) dwindling vision...lol, but when I went ring shopping with my Fiance, I brought my eye glasses. Even if your fiance has poor vision and even if the appraiser (co-worker?) also had poor vision, that's what eye glasses are for, no?

Don't harbor your feelings and don't let it go... Listen to your heart (and head) and continue to hash it out.

I think my fiancee is going to have to get glasses for far sightedness. At 40, this is definitely a new problem for him and he said this event has made him realize it's probably getting to be time. Thing is, he already has glasses/contacts but not for far sightedness (which he was definitely wearing every time he looked at the ring), so he is going to need bifocals.

 

[Lightfoot]

I think my fiancee is going to have to get glasses for far sightedness. At 40, this is definitely a new problem for him and he said this event has made him realize it's probably getting to be time. Thing is, he already has glasses/contacts but not for far sightedness (which he was definitely wearing every time he looked at the ring), so he is going to need bifocals.

I'm far-sighted and it's very likely that without my glasses, I wouldn't be able to clearly see such a spot. There is now the other issue of how to politely tell the jeweler that he might need some glasses too

 

[300GCP]

I think my fiancee is going to have to get glasses for far sightedness. At 40, this is definitely a new problem for him and he said this event has made him realize it's probably getting to be time. Thing is, he already has glasses/contacts but not for far sightedness (which he was definitely wearing every time he looked at the ring), so he is going to need bifocals.

I'm far-sighted and it's very likely that without my glasses, I wouldn't be able to clearly see such a spot. There is now the other issue of how to politely tell the jeweler that he might need some glasses too

I'm wondering if the jeweler knows its there but his definition of "eye clean" is not my definition? My definition is can't see anything from the top with the naked eye no matter how close it is to my face and no matter what the lighting conditions are. I'm not as crazy about what I can see from the side - as long as its not wildly obvious. Maybe he was thinking, as some other posters said, that eye clean means clean from 8-10 inches away?

 

[slg47]

I think my fiancee is going to have to get glasses for far sightedness. At 40, this is definitely a new problem for him and he said this event has made him realize it's probably getting to be time. Thing is, he already has glasses/contacts but not for far sightedness (which he was definitely wearing every time he looked at the ring), so he is going to need bifocals.

I'm far-sighted and it's very likely that without my glasses, I wouldn't be able to clearly see such a spot. There is now the other issue of how to politely tell the jeweler that he might need some glasses too

I'm wondering if the jeweler knows its there but his definition of "eye clean" is not my definition? My definition is can't see anything from the top with the naked eye no matter how close it is to my face and no matter what the lighting conditions are. I'm not as crazy about what I can see from the side - as long as its not wildly obvious. Maybe he was thinking, as some other posters said, that eye clean means clean from 8-10 inches away?

yes, it is quite likely that he has a different definition of eye-clean.

now get to a jeweler and find out if it is polishing gunk or not!