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Would you make your kid get braces?

redfaerythinker

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 7, 2007
Messages
1,781
I got my braces when I was 15 or sixteen and I got them off right before my senior year. I was bummed about it because most of my friends were either in the home stretch or had already finished with braces. I was slow to lose my baby teeth, basically they wouldn't fall out and I would end up with two rows of teeth. :errrr: Anyways, once they were on, besides the initial pain of each tightening, I never gave them another thought. They just became a part of my mouth.

ETA: I would force her to get them, you are the parent and they are vital to her dental health later in life. They are braces, not the end of the world. They can also be kind-of fun with colored bands etc. I always had fun choosing my new color. They also have clear braces, and those invisaline ones. I think they just came out with a new teen invisiline. I guess my point is, if the orthodontist says she needs them, get them. Just look into all of your options, and then pick one.
 

redfaerythinker

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 7, 2007
Messages
1,781
DivaDiamond007|1290826873|2780105 said:
but I hate how mine look (I'm 28) and I wish I could afford to correct them. Basically, I had two upper molars removed (one from each side) and now there's a gap between my right front tooth and the tooth next to it. It's not a huge gap and nobody really notices unless I point it out but I know it's there and I think it makes me look like a hillbilly.
Diva, I have a gap between my two front teeth that would never stay closed, no matter what the orthodontist tried. What I ended up doing was getting a tiny metal plate glued to the backs to hold them together. Works like a charm! Or you could alternatively get each adjoining tooth built up a bit to close the gap if it is indeed as small as you say it is. They are both simple fixes, the later even more so. I would talk to your dentist about it.
 

hawaiianorangetree

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 17, 2009
Messages
2,692
Another vote for making her get them here!

As someone who had braces when I was 15, didnt wear the retainers and had crooked teeth as an adult that I have had to pay to be straightened again with my own money, I say make her get them now and make sure she wears the retainers!!

I started Invisalign when i was 27, I'm nearly 31 and i STILL haven't finished!! My bottom teeth are being really stubborn, apparently teeth are a lot harder to move when you are an adult as the bone has stopped growing/moving so that's another reason why she should get them now as opposed to later on. (Also I wouldn't recommend Invisalignfor a 16 year old, there's just too much commitment invlolved that I wouldn't think a 16 year old would have).

My daughter is 10 and had top braces put on about a month ago. She has some space issues and was given the option to either have some adult teeth removed and then wear a plate until the other teeth come down, or get braces to create the room for the new teeth. She chose the braces option because she didn't want to have her teeth pulled. If she had had her own way she wouldn't have chosen either, but we had a long conversation about how it was imortant to have nice teeth as an adult and she understands that it wont be forever. (Plus seeing me with the Invisalign for the last 3 years has probably helped too).

I know at 16 it probably seems like the end of the world to her but I hope you can make her see that it's not all that bad and far better to get them now while you are still paying for them! :bigsmile:
 

soocool

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
2,827
redfaerythinker|1291093461|2782466 said:
DivaDiamond007|1290826873|2780105 said:
but I hate how mine look (I'm 28) and I wish I could afford to correct them. Basically, I had two upper molars removed (one from each side) and now there's a gap between my right front tooth and the tooth next to it. It's not a huge gap and nobody really notices unless I point it out but I know it's there and I think it makes me look like a hillbilly.
Diva, I have a gap between my two front teeth that would never stay closed, no matter what the orthodontist tried. What I ended up doing was getting a tiny metal plate glued to the backs to hold them together. Works like a charm! Or you could alternatively get each adjoining tooth built up a bit to close the gap if it is indeed as small as you say it is. They are both simple fixes, the later even more so. I would talk to your dentist about it.

A friend got veneers for just the upper front teeth that took care of the gap. If she hadn't told me I never would have known. (Don't know how pricey veneers are though).
 

AprilBaby

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
10,320
I hate to even give my two cents cause I am a dental hygienist and I see this all the time and when I leave work, I leave the office behind...but here I go...

A 16 year old who really doesnt want braces wont be co operative. Whats best for them really doesnt matter to them. Present them with the best option and let them decide. And leave it that. If she decides she wants braces later in life she can do invisilign as an adult. Lots of adults are doing it. And she can pay for it herself. Thats the trade off. If you do it now and she doesnt wear the retainers thats the end result anyways. See it all the time. And thats my two cents.
 

allycat0303

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
Messages
3,255
Oh! I wish I had seen this topic earlier.

I have needed braces my whole life; and I finally got them last year. Let's face it, I'm vain, and I freaked out!
I have always regretted that my mother didn't force me to get them when I was younger. She sugggested, gently, many times but didn't force me.

I got braces on the INSIDE. They don't even show at all. It was more expensive, but I know that when I grow up, this is something I'm going to offer my children. I think that being a teenager is hard enough, if you can afford to get them for her, that's the route I would go.
 

chemgirl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 16, 2009
Messages
1,938
part gypsy|1290993955|2781337 said:
I guess I'll be the dissenting voice. All the kids in my family had to go to a dentist who was a family friend. I hated going because he was very rough. I didn't realize till later that going to the dentist didn't have to hurt. He recommended that all 3 us us older kids needed to go to an orthodonist and we all needed braces. And yes the orthodontist was a friend of the family, etc. I was the most compliant one so I had 2 years of braces while my two sibs rebelled and refused to get them. Did I need them? My teeth looked and felt fine. In fact the week before I got braces a girl in my school asked if I had braces because my teeth looked so "perfect", to which I responded, no but I will next week. When I asked the orthodondist why I needed them, he said it was so I could keep my wisdom teeth. Regarding my twin sister who refused, alignment-wise there was nothing different between my teeth and my sister's teeth.

So maybe I was just unlucky, but I feel that it can happen that people push orthodontia that is not completely necessary. At the least get a second opinion from someone who does not view you as a cash cow.

And what is the worst thing that will happen if she refuses? If she hates her teeth she can pay to get braces when she is an adult. Heck even Tom Cruise did that.
I had this same issue. I had an orthodontist to correct an overbite (necessary and fixed with a retainer I wore at night). As soon as the overbite was fixed I was bombarded by him and my dentist about getting braces. I was scolded at every dentist visit until I found a new dentist (at the age of 25!). There is VERY LITTLE wrong with my teeth. My top teeth are perfect and I have one crooked tooth on the bottom. You can't see it when I smile and I actually had to point it out to my husband, who assumed I'd had braces because my teeth are so straight and proportioned. My dentist was really pushy about it, making it sound like horrible things would happen if I didn't get the braces. When I didn't believe him, he started in on my vanity and would say things like "don't you want people to stop staring at your teeth when you talk to them?" Only thing is nobody even knows about the crooked tooth. Nobody stares at it. He just totally wanted my insurance money...hence the new dentist.

In my case I'm thrilled that my parents never forced me in to braces. I looked at their teeth, neither of them had braces and they are also fine. I don't like this current mentality that everybody needs braces. Some people do, but certainly not everyone who gets them (all of my cousins were forced to get them, and their teeth looked fine before. My sister and I refused and our teeth still all look the same).

If your daughter actually needs braces, then I think its best to reason with her as other people have suggested. However, after my experience I really think people should use some critical judgement when speaking to their dentist and orthodontist.
 

Guilty Pleasure

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2008
Messages
1,114
If my child needed braces, then yes, I would force them to get braces just like I would force my child to wear glasses if they were needed. Now, "need" is a subjective term, so it would just depend on whether I and the dentist thought he/she needed them. If it was a case of simple improvement or an option, then I'd let the child decide. I can't imagine truly needing braces and not wanting them.
 

adfox1nc

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Messages
1
There is without question no way that I would force a child to get braces. I have permanent nerve damage/chronic pain and other physical problems as a result. I also suffer from having a split personality and to this day I go off like a bomb when I have to repeat myself or somebody ignores/blows off what I'm saying. I said no,no,no,no,no,no,no.......and mom said "It's too late, I already agreed to pay for it." There are documented "consent" interviews on file that say "It is not in this kid's best interest to do this because his problems are not medical in nature and only cosmetic and he has stated repeatedly that he does not want treatment". The staff took 3 times as long to get the appliances on me because I kept refusing and was forced back into the chair at least 4 times. I left the office with a small portion of the hardware and bruises on my left arm and chest (at 11 yrs old). If I had been smart, I would have run out the door and removed the hardware with pliers to send a message. The doctor used psych warfare on me and my mother to influence "our" decision and I still said no. I had to be physically restrained several times to get me to stay in the chair. I was called every name in the book by the Ortho because I was resistant. When I developed pain that would not go away, my parents and the doctor refused to help me or investigate the pain further. I made every point possible to get somebody's attention. I'd start fights at school, refuse to do homework, refuse to eat dinner many times, do things to delay appointments or not go home on time after school to force a cancellation. I was sent to a psychologist (year 2) to determine why I refused to do my homework,shut down socially ( My 2 friends at the time were troublemakers/hellions that both turned into drug abusers) and closed myself off from other things in life besides my paper route. The only thing he did for me was to give me an outlet for my frustration once a month and after 8 months of non-performance and no answers, that was discontinued. We had a program that allowed musically inclined students to travel to the symphony 3 times in a year and I was excluded from 2 of the trips when my parents revoked their permission based on my school performance and I was caught as a stowaway on the bus several miles out and forced to return where I was given a multi-day in-school suspension (which was sitting in a room with a broken light and no heat in the middle of winter by myself).....I was caught flattening the tires on mom's car, cracked her windshield with my elbow while in motion, threw the transmission into park several times while in motion on the way to an appointment, broke wires, bands and brackets a week before appointments (year 3) after being told multiple times that I was the cause of my root resorption, pain and other problems. In reality, I took better care of my teeth at that time than I do now because I became more and more fearful that I was going to have problems. I finally had to threaten to injure staff and destroy the dental office to get the braces off after delays and being told I would need surgery and years more of treatment. I literally had a chair over my head threatening to smash a large window to escape before they agreed to listen and help me rather than putting a whole new round of appliances on. The treatment actually moved my lower jaw further out of alignment, gave me a deeper bite and did nothing to correct my overbite. My jaw now has a funny shape (but is uni-planar). The insides of my molars softened and basically became liquid from the constant torque applied to them and they have not re-hardened in 20 years and there is no supplement/treatment that can bring back the hardness. Your teeth are living tissue and not fixed structures. They have never stopped moving and occasionally shift causing a massive headache. The pain has never completely gone away (over 20 years), my teeth sit in an unnatural position on top of the jawbone and I've lost 1/3 of the bone from the never ending pressure of having my teeth cranked into an unnatural (but straight) position and i'll likely need to have my jaw repaired with major surgery (which could kill me because I require 3-5 times the normal amount of anesthetic). Only if it were beyond doubt that a child had medical problems from bite would I take them to an orthodontist for treatment. Without question, you are breaking their will if you insist that they get braces and even if the law says it's ok, I consider it morally wrong to do that and you may hurt your family as a unit by breaking their will. If you can break their will that easily as a young adult (most victims, I mean patients), what will that child submit himself/herself to willingly without questioning why somebody says it's "good" for them. This is the most serious negative side effect from having braces. It also has the potential to manifest itself as part of an abuse/power/control battle between parent and child and may become a generational thing (I had them and the pain didn't kill me, now you're getting them (my mom's attitude exactly)). The results do not look natural and in fact look mechanical and artificial. By so many people having teeth that are "perfect" in appearance, it places additional pressure upon people of all ages to have "perfect teeth" and in turn drives up the price of the process/procedure by creating artificial demand. When the price goes up...so does the cost of insurance that covers it. I could say so much more about it but I finish by mentioning the relapse (non-permanent result) rate is almost 100% without wearing a retainer for life. Women in particular are almost always propositioned for having a second round of treatment as an adult which usually involves braces and expensive surgery. Please remember that if your teeth are a little bit out of alignment or have a few gaps, they're likely to stay that way for life...but the day that you take the step of putting appliances on your teeth, you have altered the biology of your mouth and your body for life.
 

slg47

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
9,667
this is tough. since I really can't stand crooked teeth I would probably make her get the braces. (I hope when I have children that they share my dislike of crooked teeth).

I would at least make sure she understands the consequences of not getting braces now.
 

megumic

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 8, 2009
Messages
1,647
adfox1nc|1310001982|2963261 said:
There is without question no way that I would force a child to get braces. I have permanent nerve damage/chronic pain and other physical problems as a result. I also suffer from having a split personality and to this day I go off like a bomb when I have to repeat myself or somebody ignores/blows off what I'm saying. I said no,no,no,no,no,no,no.......and mom said "It's too late, I already agreed to pay for it." There are documented "consent" interviews on file that say "It is not in this kid's best interest to do this because his problems are not medical in nature and only cosmetic and he has stated repeatedly that he does not want treatment". The staff took 3 times as long to get the appliances on me because I kept refusing and was forced back into the chair at least 4 times. I left the office with a small portion of the hardware and bruises on my left arm and chest (at 11 yrs old). If I had been smart, I would have run out the door and removed the hardware with pliers to send a message. The doctor used psych warfare on me and my mother to influence "our" decision and I still said no. I had to be physically restrained several times to get me to stay in the chair. I was called every name in the book by the Ortho because I was resistant. When I developed pain that would not go away, my parents and the doctor refused to help me or investigate the pain further. I made every point possible to get somebody's attention. I'd start fights at school, refuse to do homework, refuse to eat dinner many times, do things to delay appointments or not go home on time after school to force a cancellation. I was sent to a psychologist (year 2) to determine why I refused to do my homework,shut down socially ( My 2 friends at the time were troublemakers/hellions that both turned into drug abusers) and closed myself off from other things in life besides my paper route. The only thing he did for me was to give me an outlet for my frustration once a month and after 8 months of non-performance and no answers, that was discontinued. We had a program that allowed musically inclined students to travel to the symphony 3 times in a year and I was excluded from 2 of the trips when my parents revoked their permission based on my school performance and I was caught as a stowaway on the bus several miles out and forced to return where I was given a multi-day in-school suspension (which was sitting in a room with a broken light and no heat in the middle of winter by myself).....I was caught flattening the tires on mom's car, cracked her windshield with my elbow while in motion, threw the transmission into park several times while in motion on the way to an appointment, broke wires, bands and brackets a week before appointments (year 3) after being told multiple times that I was the cause of my root resorption, pain and other problems. In reality, I took better care of my teeth at that time than I do now because I became more and more fearful that I was going to have problems. I finally had to threaten to injure staff and destroy the dental office to get the braces off after delays and being told I would need surgery and years more of treatment. I literally had a chair over my head threatening to smash a large window to escape before they agreed to listen and help me rather than putting a whole new round of appliances on. The treatment actually moved my lower jaw further out of alignment, gave me a deeper bite and did nothing to correct my overbite. My jaw now has a funny shape (but is uni-planar). The insides of my molars softened and basically became liquid from the constant torque applied to them and they have not re-hardened in 20 years and there is no supplement/treatment that can bring back the hardness. Your teeth are living tissue and not fixed structures. They have never stopped moving and occasionally shift causing a massive headache. The pain has never completely gone away (over 20 years), my teeth sit in an unnatural position on top of the jawbone and I've lost 1/3 of the bone from the never ending pressure of having my teeth cranked into an unnatural (but straight) position and i'll likely need to have my jaw repaired with major surgery (which could kill me because I require 3-5 times the normal amount of anesthetic). Only if it were beyond doubt that a child had medical problems from bite would I take them to an orthodontist for treatment. Without question, you are breaking their will if you insist that they get braces and even if the law says it's ok, I consider it morally wrong to do that and you may hurt your family as a unit by breaking their will. If you can break their will that easily as a young adult (most victims, I mean patients), what will that child submit himself/herself to willingly without questioning why somebody says it's "good" for them. This is the most serious negative side effect from having braces. It also has the potential to manifest itself as part of an abuse/power/control battle between parent and child and may become a generational thing (I had them and the pain didn't kill me, now you're getting them (my mom's attitude exactly)). The results do not look natural and in fact look mechanical and artificial. By so many people having teeth that are "perfect" in appearance, it places additional pressure upon people of all ages to have "perfect teeth" and in turn drives up the price of the process/procedure by creating artificial demand. When the price goes up...so does the cost of insurance that covers it. I could say so much more about it but I finish by mentioning the relapse (non-permanent result) rate is almost 100% without wearing a retainer for life. Women in particular are almost always propositioned for having a second round of treatment as an adult which usually involves braces and expensive surgery. Please remember that if your teeth are a little bit out of alignment or have a few gaps, they're likely to stay that way for life...but the day that you take the step of putting appliances on your teeth, you have altered the biology of your mouth and your body for life.

:confused:
 

Selkie

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
2,876
megumic said:
Ditto. Not only is this thread over 6 months old, but talk about overshare....
 

DrewMaz

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
1
Short answer: Absolutely not! If they're not compliant now, there is no way they will wear the retainers as an adult, which they will need to do in order to keep the results. As my orthodontist said "wearing a retainer is like working out. You have to keep doing it to keep the results."

Long answer: Since I was 12, I had teeth like Kirsten Dunst. My mom insisted that I get braces, and I refused. I was hostile and uncooperative with every orthodontist I visited. When one of them installed a palatal expander, I ripped it out within an hour of getting home. Over the years, this issue was about more than just my teeth. It was a power struggle that I intended to win no matter what. I would never, ever, ever give in.

When I was 15, my mom took me and my brother to an orthodontist. As usual, I was uncooperative. He sat me down in his office and had a talk with me. He said that I have a crossbite and that if I don't get it corrected, I would later on experience constant headaches and eventually my jaw would lock up. I was crying when I told my mom that I had agreed to get braces.

The whole treatment process was downright awful. Beside the constant annoyance of having metal devices inside my mouth, I felt humiliated that I had braces. I was embarrassed about it as a normal teenager would be about taking diarrhea medicine. I got clear braces on my upper teeth so I could better hide that fact. I tried as much as possible never to show my teeth to anyone, especially not in photos. I covered my mouth when I laughed. Every time anyone asked me about my braces or pointed that fact out, I turned red with embarrassment.

I complained enough that they decided to pull the plug after 14 months. I wore the retainers for a little over 2 months and then threw them away. Within a few years, my teeth shifted back to their original position, and I learned that the crossbite I originally had was minor and never posed any risk for headaches or jaw problems. The orthodontist just wanted my compliance and was willing to deceive me to get it.

To this day (18 years later), my relationship with my mother has been damaged because of this. Because she had pressed me so hard with the idea that I could not go through life with crooked teeth, I now do not ever want to have straight teeth again.

Had my mother taken me to a cosmetic dentist, they could have corrected my fangs (lateral incisors) within six weeks without any of the emotional scarring.
 

Bron357

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 22, 2014
Messages
3,866
It's a hard one, my daughter now 15 just has hers off but their are some friends still in braces and two just starting their journey. Braces these days are glued on and really quite discreet. That said, your daughter has been in treatment since 8 so she has obviously had enough. Let her orthodontist explain why it's important to now continue the journey because it is worth it. Failing that, suggest she have a few months break and then revisit the decision.They are her teeth and she is entitled to her thoughts and feelings listened to, but explain that the facts of the matter are that her having extra work done in your twenties is more time consuming, at her expense and probably more socially awkward.
 

DAF

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 7, 2012
Messages
333
Braces have become smaller over time. They do make clear ceramic braces, and the wires look smaller than they did when I had them 35 years ago.
 

GearGirly

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 15, 2014
Messages
666
I wouldn't make her. She has plenty of time to choose later on if she needs to!
 
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