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Who Who is Diamond Fan?

The next time you hit Bergdorf''s basement, ask for Quintinn (he''s the "Global Beauty Expert", no kidding). He''s great -- I''ve shopped with him on the 4th floor.
 
Which line is he with? I have not been down there in a while, now that we have Sephora in Philly, I am pretty covered!
 
He''s not with any line. He''s their resident independent Beauty Expert.
 
Yay! DF has a bio!!!
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What are your secrets for a long and happy marriage?

Tell us about your most memorable family vacations!
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Kristydarling,
Your ring is darling!
 
DiamondFan, I enjoyed reading your story, very candid and open! It''s ususally hard for people to talk about their fears.
And as always, you have impeccable taste!
 
Well, my secrets to a happy marriage...I have a very loving hubby who is very kind and giving, and also tries to see things from my view, even though we see things very differently. To me marriage is a compromise proposition, and there a definite days that I could happily string him up by his thumbs...but I am sure the feeling is mutual! We fight, but we try to fight fair, I think fighting is healthy as long as there are no low blows...it is better to express things that bother you than to bottle them up...in mho...obviously even in the best of marriages people are going to have disagreements. ITo me, it is sort of deciding, is this something that I want to push the envelope over? If not, I let it go. He does the same for me, and somewhere in the middle is the best place to be sometimes...and I give in on things that I know mean more to him and vice versa. Also, he is a very generous and wonderfully thoughtful man...and I am not the easiest person (it might shock anyone to know...
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I hate quarreling with my fiance, but I''m glad to know that happily married couples do too!
 
OMG, of course married couples do...we go a few rounds once in a while, and we take no prisioners...but seriously, it is important to express things and be open, bottling things up never works and I think it is nice to let your kids see that you can disagree and still be okay, you can love eachother and not always agree.
 
Great advice DF. THank you for sharing it!
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I''m enjoying reading all about you! More please.
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Just tell me what you want to know
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OK...what is your idea of a perfect Saturday morning, afternoon, and night?

Also, what kind of music are you into?

When was the last time you cried? (if that''s too personal, feel free to move on!)

How big is your closet? From past posts, I''m guessing it''s cavernous!
 
She has a gorgeous closet, filled with amazing clothes, shoes and handbags. I love to go there and play!!!
And the jewelry is fabu!!
 
I love to sleep in! I could be a professional sleeper or mattress tester. I hate when I have to get up early, I am not a morning person at all.

Then, brunch. I am totally a brunch lover, I love eggs benedict (hard yolks please!) and all kinds of breakfast foods. I like food in general but brunch at a great spot is one of favorite things.

then shopping, if it is a day without kids, and if it is a day with kids, just hanging with them is great...not too sure about specifics there, each of them is so different and into different things.

Evening, a great dinner and a show or movie, or going to see a funny comedian. I also love museums and galleries depending on what is there. I love Impressionist art best, I love all different types of art but that is what I prefer, landscapes, florals, still lifes and portraits. I like some modern/contemporary art too, but that is not what I tend to be drawn to.

Music, I would say I love it all with rare exception. I love classical music, I love Sinatra, Cole Porter, Bette Midler, Gershwin, Andrea Bocelli, Ella Fitzgerald, Motown, Heavy Metal, old rock (old Elton John, Fleetwood Mac, etc) some country music (more the cross over stuff, Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Leann Rimes etc), current stuff like Gwen Stefani and Black Eyed Peas, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nickelback ...I think the only things I do not love are extreme country, extreme rap or hip hop, and heavy duty jazz.

My closet is pretty full. I am an admitted but not recovering shopaholic. I love it all, make up, shoes, clothes, handbags perfumes, jewelry...and I hate to throw things away. I have to force myself sometimes to get rid of things...you never know when they might be in style again!
 
Date: 3/7/2007 5:35:52 PM
Author: diamondfan
Well, my secrets to a happy marriage...I have a very loving hubby who is very kind and giving, and also tries to see things from my view, even though we see things very differently. To me marriage is a compromise proposition, and there a definite days that I could happily string him up by his thumbs...but I am sure the feeling is mutual! We fight, but we try to fight fair, I think fighting is healthy as long as there are no low blows...it is better to express things that bother you than to bottle them up...in mho...obviously even in the best of marriages people are going to have disagreements. ITo me, it is sort of deciding, is this something that I want to push the envelope over? If not, I let it go. He does the same for me, and somewhere in the middle is the best place to be sometimes...and I give in on things that I know mean more to him and vice versa. Also, he is a very generous and wonderfully thoughtful man...and I am not the easiest person (it might shock anyone to know...
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I love this whole post, DF... I think you just described exactly the kind of couple my fiance and I are learning how to be. I am not the easiest person either... sensitive and opinionated and prone to serious mood-swings
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... and FI is just so strong and thoughtful and PATIENT through it all. When you describe your husband and the way you communicate, it sounds so positive and genuine... yes there are disagreements, but the fact that you work that hard to express your feelings to each other, means you definitely have something worth working for in the first place. And like you said, it teaches your kids how relationships really work, as well as how to express themselves in a healthy way.

Just wanted to let you know I appreciate your sharing that....
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ETA -- I'm a brunch-person too... do you have any favorite places around Philly? I'm always looking for suggestions! We just went to a fantastic place when we were visiting Santa Monica this past weekend, and now I'm in mourning that I won't be back there for a while... I need a good replacement!
 
Ephemery, I used to live there (L.A.) so I am trying to think where you went. Was is SM or Venice? I used to love this place in Santa Monica called Rae''s...it was way down on Pico and the line would be out the door, just a little diner really. Also on Pico, near Cheviot Hills was John O''Groats, the first place I had the steel cut Irish oats. I love diners, and I love the Four Seasons. It really just depends. I love waffles, eggs ben, crispy shredded hashbrowns, fresh oj, multi grain pancakes, french toast, good oatmeal, crisp bacon...Around here, I am not sure. I think that there are some neat places besides the major hotels, little cafes and things that I do not know about.

It took us a while to come to the place in our marriage where we learned we could fight, it just really was important HOW. I always thought it was important for kids to see people have real relationships, to learn that you can disagree in a proper manner, express contrary opinions respectfully, etc...I think that is really a valuable lesson to learn. My hubby is brilliant, but he is also not a pushover at all, he is tough but fair, and I find if I can make him laugh I am ahead of the curve, he has a really great sense of humor. This works especially well when the credit card bills come or I want a gift!!!) He is a pretty sentimental guy, which is not too common, and often I am the one who is tougher and less emotional...go figure that one!
 
DF, just asked my friend... the brunch spot was called 26 Beach and it was in Venice, not SM... super-cute little restaurant, very eclectic... and SUCH a fun menu!
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Date: 3/8/2007 11:33:58 AM
Author: diamondfan
Ephemery, I used to live there (L.A.) so I am trying to think where you went. Was is SM or Venice? I used to love this place in Santa Monica called Rae''s...it was way down on Pico and the line would be out the door, just a little diner really. Also on Pico, near Cheviot Hills was John O''Groats, the first place I had the steel cut Irish oats. I love diners, and I love the Four Seasons. It really just depends. I love waffles, eggs ben, crispy shredded hashbrowns, fresh oj, multi grain pancakes, french toast, good oatmeal, crisp bacon...Around here, I am not sure. I think that there are some neat places besides the major hotels, little cafes and things that I do not know about.

It took us a while to come to the place in our marriage where we learned we could fight, it just really was important HOW. I always thought it was important for kids to see people have real relationships, to learn that you can disagree in a proper manner, express contrary opinions respectfully, etc...I think that is really a valuable lesson to learn. My hubby is brilliant, but he is also not a pushover at all, he is tough but fair, and I find if I can make him laugh I am ahead of the curve, he has a really great sense of humor. This works especially well when the credit card bills come or I want a gift!!!) He is a pretty sentimental guy, which is not too common, and often I am the one who is tougher and less emotional...go figure that one!
Thank you DF!!!! I feel this way, too. I''d rather have my kids see us resolving a conflict and expressing our opinions in a non insulting, respectful manner rather than escaping behind closed doors and pretending like everything is fine. I know so many people that will not disagree in front of the kids. I think they''re doing them a disservice.

Thanks so much for sharing all that you have. I know that I have learned a thing or two from reading this thread. I was left alone quite often and from a very young age and I, too, have a complete phobia about DH being gone overnight. He travels from time to time and I HATE it. I''m paranoid the entire time and I never knew why...I never connected it to being alone as a kid. Does just being aware of it help you to feel better?
 
Miranda, on a certain level, yes, it helps me understand WHY, but it does not always fix or alleviate things totally. So I have some insights, but am still faced with the issue regardless. But I like making some connections to things, it just makes me feel better I guess!

I hate when people think that not fighting (again, properly, not a verbal slug fest) in front of kids spares them. First, kids KNOW what is up, hiding it or being falsely cordial is not of help in my view, and just denies the kid''s reality. (if a kid senses tension and you just deny it, what are you showing them?) I am a peacemaker, I hate confrontation for confrontation''s sake, (but will do it if I deem it necessary) and I really want everyone to be happy, but this is not always right or possible. I would make myself sick so I could spare other people, including not letting my mom know how I felt about my blood sister''s behavior. Meanwhile, she felt similarly, just could not really deal because it meant admitting some painful truths about her daughter and their relationship. I was trying to spare her and minimize, which only hurt in the long run.

Anyway, it is always nice to know you are not alone in your idiocyncracies, and nice that all of you great people are interested in me...so I am happy to keep on checking in and replying. This is a wonderful thing to look forward to each day now!
 
Date: 3/8/2007 8:52:42 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 3/8/2007 11:33:58 AM
Author: diamondfan
Ephemery, I used to live there (L.A.) so I am trying to think where you went. Was is SM or Venice? I used to love this place in Santa Monica called Rae''s...it was way down on Pico and the line would be out the door, just a little diner really. Also on Pico, near Cheviot Hills was John O''Groats, the first place I had the steel cut Irish oats. I love diners, and I love the Four Seasons. It really just depends. I love waffles, eggs ben, crispy shredded hashbrowns, fresh oj, multi grain pancakes, french toast, good oatmeal, crisp bacon...Around here, I am not sure. I think that there are some neat places besides the major hotels, little cafes and things that I do not know about.

It took us a while to come to the place in our marriage where we learned we could fight, it just really was important HOW. I always thought it was important for kids to see people have real relationships, to learn that you can disagree in a proper manner, express contrary opinions respectfully, etc...I think that is really a valuable lesson to learn. My hubby is brilliant, but he is also not a pushover at all, he is tough but fair, and I find if I can make him laugh I am ahead of the curve, he has a really great sense of humor. This works especially well when the credit card bills come or I want a gift!!!) He is a pretty sentimental guy, which is not too common, and often I am the one who is tougher and less emotional...go figure that one!
Thank you DF!!!! I feel this way, too. I''d rather have my kids see us resolving a conflict and expressing our opinions in a non insulting, respectful manner rather than escaping behind closed doors and pretending like everything is fine. I know so many people that will not disagree in front of the kids. I think they''re doing them a disservice.

Thanks so much for sharing all that you have. I know that I have learned a thing or two from reading this thread. I was left alone quite often and from a very young age and I, too, have a complete phobia about DH being gone overnight. He travels from time to time and I HATE it. I''m paranoid the entire time and I never knew why...I never connected it to being alone as a kid. Does just being aware of it help you to feel better?

I like that you said that DF. Our first year of marriage was interesting; we fought some at first. Then we realized it WAS okay to agree to disagree. We hardly ever fight now because of that exact statement. I always thought we had to be on the same exact page in order for it to work.

I also think it is so sweet that you are friends with so many people from pricescope outside of pricescope!!! I wish I had more New Mexican ps''s I knew
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Thanks! I am good buddies with Kaleigh and Lorelei and I have been great friends for a while via email. They are both awesome. I hope to meet more Philly area PS''ers...

The fighting thing is tricky. Most marriages are not like the Brady Bunch and Leave it to Beaver, and it is tough to find a comfort zone where disagreements are concerned. I have friends whose parents NEVER fought in front of them but had rotten marriages and the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife. But, the parents felt they were being discrete because they did not fight in front of the kids, but the kids KNEW things were terrible. Kids who do not see healthy conflict resolution are at a disadvantage in situations where people do not see eye to eye. I have always felt this, sort of like the blessing of the skinned knee ( a great parenting book) theory, which is kids need to sometimes fail in order to learn and grow. Likewise, learning how to address conflict properly is vital, and I think if young married couples learn it early on, it is all good; they learn how to be fair with eachother in their views, and their kids learn by the modeling. Another really critical thing was learning that sometimes things do NOT resolve with a neat bow on top. Sometimes I will never see his ppoint of view, and vice versa, so we need to know when we have reached that point, and stop going round in circles pointlessly. I have to sometimes tell him that I respect him but disagree with him, and no amount of talking is going to alter that. Takes a while to get to that point too, but worthwhile.
 
Date: 3/8/2007 4:22:43 PM
Author: ephemery1
DF, just asked my friend... the brunch spot was called 26 Beach and it was in Venice, not SM... super-cute little restaurant, very eclectic... and SUCH a fun menu!
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I have never heard of it, but it could be new, I have been gone almost ten years now and when I am back do not get to Venice much, though I have family that lives there and one of my mom and step dad''s favorite restaurants is there. I tend to stay on the west side for some reason...there was a great place in Venice, I want to say the West Beach Cafe but I could be mistaken, but overall, there are some awesome spots!
 
DF,
We seem to have similar tastes in hotels as well. Which are your all-time favourites?
 
I like Four Seasons, but I also like things that are a bit different. In St. Bath''s I like Le Toiny and the Isle de France. I tend to like things that are more boutique in nature. I like the Voile D''Or in Cap Ferrat which is lovely. I like the Leading Hotels of the world sites, and the Mandarines are usually great. L''Auberge du Soleil in Napa is lovely. I am sure there are tons of hotels I am missing but I tend to forgo huge chains in favor of smaller more intimate hotels. For us lately, we like being in villas with some staff that come in because with three kids and a nanny and often times my mother in law, it is nice to have rtoom to spread out, have meals cooked in the home for us when we do not want to go out, and have our own space...
 
I also like the Peninsula a lot.

In Los Angeles, one of my favorites is the Hotel Bel Air, where we got married. I rarely stayed there since we lived there, but I love it!
 
I haven''t found a favourite yet. Surprisingly, I was disappointed by the Four Seasons Hualalai -- didn''t care for the food, which is very important to me. Would like to try one of the Cote D''Azur resorts.
 
I only stayed at the Four Seasons on Maui. I have stayed at the chain in other cities, but in Hawaii just that one. I hate to travel in terms of being afraid to fly (commercial or private) and that is my biggest issue...
 
Thanks for your insight on marriage and fighting, etc. Fighting isn''t any fun, but it sure does teach you how to pick what is important to get in conflict over. And I totally agree with you about showing your kids a good example of conflict resolution. One of my friends is currently engaged and she never learned how to "fight correctly" and their relationship is just really strained and DH and I hate being around them because it''s so uncomfortable. I think that a little conflict is not only expected, but necessary. You don''t want your spouse to be a complete doormat or have absolutely no opinions on anything! DH and I compromise on just about everything, but it''s also good to know that we each have things that mean enough to us to have a little tiff over. Hopefully that makes sense. Anyway, thanks for your comments, it''s really interesting to read!

*M*
 
Poptart, thanks. I like to think that a masters in Psych and almost 17 years of marriage have taught me something!!! I just think the important thing is knowing that you CAN disagree and it is okay...and to pick your battles...everything cannot be worth going to the mat over. This one was tough for me personally because I would care a lot about the principle, the point, being RIGHT, and I often won the battle but lost the war. So, I learned the hard way that it was important to think before I opened my mouth in anger!
 
May I change the topic. I''ll be wearing the HW earrings for my wedding (I know you don''t care for them, but that''s ok). Can you suggest a simple necklace/pendant that would go with it?
 
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