I love this whole post, DF... I think you just described exactly the kind of couple my fiance and I are learning how to be. I am not the easiest person either... sensitive and opinionated and prone to serious mood-swingsDate: 3/7/2007 5:35:52 PM
Author: diamondfan
Well, my secrets to a happy marriage...I have a very loving hubby who is very kind and giving, and also tries to see things from my view, even though we see things very differently. To me marriage is a compromise proposition, and there a definite days that I could happily string him up by his thumbs...but I am sure the feeling is mutual! We fight, but we try to fight fair, I think fighting is healthy as long as there are no low blows...it is better to express things that bother you than to bottle them up...in mho...obviously even in the best of marriages people are going to have disagreements. ITo me, it is sort of deciding, is this something that I want to push the envelope over? If not, I let it go. He does the same for me, and somewhere in the middle is the best place to be sometimes...and I give in on things that I know mean more to him and vice versa. Also, he is a very generous and wonderfully thoughtful man...and I am not the easiest person (it might shock anyone to know...![]()
Thank you DF!!!! I feel this way, too. I''d rather have my kids see us resolving a conflict and expressing our opinions in a non insulting, respectful manner rather than escaping behind closed doors and pretending like everything is fine. I know so many people that will not disagree in front of the kids. I think they''re doing them a disservice.Date: 3/8/2007 11:33:58 AM
Author: diamondfan
Ephemery, I used to live there (L.A.) so I am trying to think where you went. Was is SM or Venice? I used to love this place in Santa Monica called Rae''s...it was way down on Pico and the line would be out the door, just a little diner really. Also on Pico, near Cheviot Hills was John O''Groats, the first place I had the steel cut Irish oats. I love diners, and I love the Four Seasons. It really just depends. I love waffles, eggs ben, crispy shredded hashbrowns, fresh oj, multi grain pancakes, french toast, good oatmeal, crisp bacon...Around here, I am not sure. I think that there are some neat places besides the major hotels, little cafes and things that I do not know about.
It took us a while to come to the place in our marriage where we learned we could fight, it just really was important HOW. I always thought it was important for kids to see people have real relationships, to learn that you can disagree in a proper manner, express contrary opinions respectfully, etc...I think that is really a valuable lesson to learn. My hubby is brilliant, but he is also not a pushover at all, he is tough but fair, and I find if I can make him laugh I am ahead of the curve, he has a really great sense of humor. This works especially well when the credit card bills come or I want a gift!!!) He is a pretty sentimental guy, which is not too common, and often I am the one who is tougher and less emotional...go figure that one!
Date: 3/8/2007 8:52:42 PM
Author: Miranda
Thank you DF!!!! I feel this way, too. I''d rather have my kids see us resolving a conflict and expressing our opinions in a non insulting, respectful manner rather than escaping behind closed doors and pretending like everything is fine. I know so many people that will not disagree in front of the kids. I think they''re doing them a disservice.Date: 3/8/2007 11:33:58 AM
Author: diamondfan
Ephemery, I used to live there (L.A.) so I am trying to think where you went. Was is SM or Venice? I used to love this place in Santa Monica called Rae''s...it was way down on Pico and the line would be out the door, just a little diner really. Also on Pico, near Cheviot Hills was John O''Groats, the first place I had the steel cut Irish oats. I love diners, and I love the Four Seasons. It really just depends. I love waffles, eggs ben, crispy shredded hashbrowns, fresh oj, multi grain pancakes, french toast, good oatmeal, crisp bacon...Around here, I am not sure. I think that there are some neat places besides the major hotels, little cafes and things that I do not know about.
It took us a while to come to the place in our marriage where we learned we could fight, it just really was important HOW. I always thought it was important for kids to see people have real relationships, to learn that you can disagree in a proper manner, express contrary opinions respectfully, etc...I think that is really a valuable lesson to learn. My hubby is brilliant, but he is also not a pushover at all, he is tough but fair, and I find if I can make him laugh I am ahead of the curve, he has a really great sense of humor. This works especially well when the credit card bills come or I want a gift!!!) He is a pretty sentimental guy, which is not too common, and often I am the one who is tougher and less emotional...go figure that one!
Thanks so much for sharing all that you have. I know that I have learned a thing or two from reading this thread. I was left alone quite often and from a very young age and I, too, have a complete phobia about DH being gone overnight. He travels from time to time and I HATE it. I''m paranoid the entire time and I never knew why...I never connected it to being alone as a kid. Does just being aware of it help you to feel better?
Date: 3/8/2007 4:22:43 PM
Author: ephemery1
DF, just asked my friend... the brunch spot was called 26 Beach and it was in Venice, not SM... super-cute little restaurant, very eclectic... and SUCH a fun menu!![]()