Who Who is Diamond Fan?

[Skippy123]

Everyone love Diamondfans posts. Please tell us more about you Diamondfan. I know you live in Philly and previously lived in Cali. More, more more pls.

 

[Skippy123]

I meant to say "Who is Diamond Fan?" Sorry about "the" in the subject line.

 

[diamondfan]

Well, I will start now and add on as people want!


My name is Caroline (feels like we can be on a first name basis now! )

I am 41 (ugh, do not feel it, cannot quite believe it!) and I was born and raised in Southern California. I went to Beverly Hills High School and USC, and then got my graduate degree in Psychology from Pepperdine. Meet my dh in high school, we re met and married in 1990. My father died in 1981 from melanoma, it devastated me and still does. I have one sister. I have three great sons, ages 14, 11 1/2 and 5. My last son was born in Philly. We moved here in summer of 1997, it will be 10 years this August, which amazes me. I love to read, I love movies, jewelry, make up, art, animals, travel (except the flying!!!) and clothes...I am a people person, I love to make friends, and I love social activities, though I do appreciate a night home watching movies too! I work out (sort of have a love hate relationship with exercise) and I have some health issues, migraines, fibromyalgia...nothing life threatening but bothersome more than anything. I love living in the East, it has been a wonderful experience for me and my family. I wanted to be a singer when I was young, I have a good voice but major stage fright. I was in a couple of beauty pageants in college, but I am not a pageant girl, it was a fun experience, made some good friends, but that was about it! I am a loyal and caring friend, I will go to the ends of the earth for those I love. I think sometimes people who do not know me get the wrong idea about me because I love to shop and know a lot about fashion and more frivolous things, but I have a very serious side too. I hate when people judge me without knowing me. I am also a major worrier and have anxiety issues too, which is tough for me, but I manage the best I can. I have really enjoyed being part of the PS community and even meeting a couple of the local gals, would love to meet more of them. Lorelei, though I have not meet her, is a dear pal as well. This site has been a wonderful find for me, and I just love being part of all that goes on, even the debates are enriching and I love getting so many different views on issues.

Feel free to ask me anything, I am pretty open and happy to answer questions! It is flattering that people want to know about me!

 

[Skippy123]

Caroline,

I am sorry about your father.

You sound like such a proud momma; that is wonderful! It is also, wonderful you are so happy go lucky! Thanks for sharing

 

[diamondfan]

Anytime!

I have a lot of things to be happy about, a lot of blessing which I count daily. But, I also have demons that make life tough, and I hate to pass that on to my kids. I have fears about so many things, and I feel it keeps me from enjoying life. I try to tell myself to enjoy the now, the moment, but I find I am so worried about later and what if that it can make things hard. My dh does not think that way, it is tough for him to get it or relate to it because he is not a fearful type of person. I think there were things that happened when I was young, including my dad being sick for one third of my life til his death, that made me more afraid. I wish I could just be a throw caution to the wind type, but I am the one thinking, what if the parachute does not open, and then the back up parachute does not open?! I want to experience things but I know I will spazz myself out so much that I cannot enjoy. It is not fun, especially when I know, from a cousin of my dying suddenly in his 40''s, that you can be here one moment and gone the next...best to enjoy it all!

 

[SuzyQZ]

Diamondfan:

My dad and boyfriend in HS both died suddenly. It definitely affects your perspective on life.
Thanks for sharing, I'm glad to know ya.... better!

 

[diamondfan]

Suzy, I am so sorry. My dad was ill with cancer for about 5 years, but I was only 10 when he first got sick and really did not understand how serious things were. I think at one point they really believed they caught the cancer and treated it successfully but it spread. Even once we knew he was very ill and likely to die, it was still just terrible and I was not prepared at all. It has been many years and I still feel so sad, and think of him all the time. I named my first child for him, and have his pictures and items of his all around. I like to think he knows that we love and miss him and that we think of him all the time.

I have a friend who lost her dad to a heart attack, he went out to get in his car and go to work and died in the driveway. Awful. Another friend of mine was dating a guy who was driving home on Sunset Blvd in L.A. after dropping her off and he crashed his car and was killed. Again, just so sudden and terrible. But even knowing it will happen does not make it easier, you just get a chance to hopefully say good bye and talk to them, but my dad was in a coma for a while so I never did get to talk to him at the end.

Boy, that is a happy story!!! Anyway, I think it really shaped me and affected me, as it would, and it definitely explains some of my anxieties and fears...

 

[AGBF]

Caroline,

It was really nice to be able to read about you in one place. It makes me want to know you better. I understand the "demons" from childhood. I just finished reading The Plot Against America by Philip Roth and that book was packed with childhood demons! If anyone on Pricescope had such a sunny childhood that he cannot relate to demons, I recommend he read Roth''s book. He can borrow a few of Roth''s from that novel.

Please share some more about yourself.

Deb

 

[Linda W]

Caroline,

I loved reading about you. I am happy to meet a fellow worrier. My dad used to call me a "worry wart" I try not to be, but I am afraid that is my personality.

You sound like a wonderful person, friend and mother.


Linda

 

[diamondfan]

Again, thanks for the lovely comments!

Whatever you want to know, ask.

Let me think of some more things off the top of my head...

I love Gone With the Wind, probably one of my favorite books of all time. I read it when I was about 8 and loved it. I also think the Prince of Tides is one of the most amazing books I have ever read. I love Susan Isaacs, Janet Evanovich and Sidney Sheldon. Fun books, not all serious but I adore reading. I also like biographies, historical fiction (the Other Boyelyn Girl) and non fiction. I love BIl Bryson and Sandburg, and really love reading about things that really happened in history. I love music, and love musicals...Chicago, Chorus Line, etc...love going to the theater...

I also love movies, chick flicks and comedies are my favorites. LOVE Legally Blonde and Clueless (my hubby thinks I am like Elle Woods!) and I also love old Woody Allen before he went weird in his personal life...Annie Hall, etc...too funny. When Harry met Sally is also a favorite.

I LOVE going to see stand up comedians. I also love to play roulette, have a system and do well most of the time, but it is just so fun to me.

I love Italian food, Greek food, Mexican food...like French without a ton of sauces on it, hate curry. I like most Asian food but have specific favorites. I love nice restaurants and good wine (red) or champagne...not a big mixed drinker, maybe a mojito or cosmo now and then.

I am a shopaholic and have obsessive tendencies with spending...if I like a sweater I buy it in all the colors I like...makeup is like a drug to me, I could open a store and toss it often without having used it but I love it!

I have terrible insomnia, I just cannot fall or stay asleep too easily.


I adore my kids and have been told they are nice, well behaved and well informed. I do take pride in that, and always want them to find things they love to do so they can shine. Currently, my oldest is a track star in middle school, plays a mean guitar (electric and acoustic) and my friend says he looks like a young Ben Afleck. My middle son is the cool one, skate boards, plays the drums, has all the girls im''ing him...always invited to the movies as the only boy! He loves to read and build things, give him rubber band, a paper clip, a battery and some twine and he will build you something amazing. My youngest is the funniest thing, loves books, anything to do with cars, trains, planes, rockets, etc...rescue vehicles, etc...he is a joy too.

I finally got a dog (Maya, the only other girl in my house) and we all are NUTS about her. She is an awesome girl and we adore her...she is just the best...

So, let me know if there is anything else of interest!

 

[monarch64]

Caroline,

It feels odd to call you by your first name and not Diamondfan for some reason! But it''s a beautiful name and fitting of your personality. I really enjoyed reading about your journey in life and all things that make you YOU!

I''m sorry about the loss of your father, and especially to hear that you were so young. My father has been ill for the past few years (colorectal cancer) and it has been quite an ordeal, but he has my mother and brother and SIL around to take care of him and is doing ok at this time. However, I first found out he was ill two days into our honeymoon in 2003, major shock, and since then (I was 26), I have found that I have all kinds of fears and anxieties in life, kind of like you say you experienced. I think his illness and the experience of almost losing him (he went into cardiac arrest after one surgery for over 30 minutes and then was in ICU for weeks after, during which time we didn''t know what to do because he never told any of us his wishes and didn''t leave a will that we knew of) made me so much more aware of my own mortality, and of course all my other loved ones'', and two years ago I began having panic attacks...I''m now about to turn 30 and don''t have children yet, but want them and am afraid that I will pass along certain fears and apprehensions. I just wanted to say, really, that I can relate to your story and it is comforting to me to know I''m not the only one who has gone through this type of thing.

Please tell us more...what was it like growing up in BH? What''s your daily life like? "Inquiring minds want to know" LOL!

 

[diamondfan]

I know what you mean, I really hate that my fears could become my kid''s fears. It really rocked my world losing my dad, after that, I did not think anyone was safe. That fed into a global sense of fear, and of uncertainty. If there was an earthquake in Peru or volcanic eruption in Hawaii or a twister in Kansas, I would freak out. I could not bear to see children on tv who had no parents and lived in poverty, and I could not stand to see animals that were hurt or neglected either. Anything vulnerable and small that was at risk just did me in, I felt like I had to take care of everyone. That is quite a lot for a small child to bear. Being so sensitive was not easy for me and made so many experiences really terrifying. I also had issues when I was younger, with a sibling who was older and died, but I did not learn of her existence til I was 8 or 10. That also proved to be really stressful to handle as a kid.

Growing up in Beverly Hills in the mid 60''s to the mid 80''s was really interesting. My dad was a successful doctor, he was not in the entertainment business as most people in LA seem to be, but he did well. We had a nice life, and I never really appreciated all that I had. I just assumed most people lived as we did. I would say I was a bit spoiled but not terribly, but I definitely knew I could get what I wanted. The hard thing for me was my mom was an older mom and seemed tired a lot, and my sister was not a nice person. Plus my dad was at work a lot, so I ended up hanging with my friends at their houses all the time, just to avoid being around my sister. I kinda feel as if I raised myself. Once my dad died and I could drive, my mom basically left me alone while she traveled the world. I had money and all the bills paid, and a car, and adults to call if I needed things, a charge at the pharmacy and grocery store, but I was pretty much on my own for weeks at a time. Not fun, and to this day I hate being alone overnight...it just feeds my insomnia. I feel like I have to be awake to watch out over the house. My mom was dealing with her grief, and I totally get it, but leaving me alone (thankfully my wretched sister had moved out and was in college) was pretty odd. I had friends over, but really was pretty mellow, I was not a wild type in terms of partying etc, but I always had a boyfriend. It was just me and my two dogs and a friend over most of the time. My mom needed to do her thing, I understand, but I really felt like she dropped the mom ball too. I could never imagine doing that to my kids.

I am fine if you want to call me Diamondfan, or Caroline, it is really okay either way!

 

[monarch64]

So interesting, DF! So did your childhood sort of play into the degree you chose to pursue?

Tell us also more about how you met and married your wonderful hubby!

And I love that you have such impeccable taste in jewelry and fashion...how did your style develop?

Hope I''m not being too intrusive, but I''m just always interested in people''s stories and lives, and how they came to be who they are, I guess!

 

[diamondfan]

I went to high school with hubby, but we were not really friends. the year he graduated my dad had either just died or was about to. DH''s best bud lived around the corner from me and was throwing a graduation party. I was not really in a party mood but went with another guy to try to forget what was happening at home. I met dh there. He was entranced (ha ha, but he really did like me, why, I do not know, I was this gawky skinny girl in a lilac bikini who was painfully shy and pretty down) but he still liked me. Had a girlfriend at the time, and he dumped her to go out with me. (we bumped into each other at sorority rush at USC a few years later, she and dh had stayed pals)...anyway, we dated a bit, lost touch, went to my senior prom, lost touch, and hooked up again in summer of 1989. We were married about one year later.

I have always loved clothes and jewels. When we moved into our home, a neighbor came by to say hi. I was maybe three, and my mom was not home. I think I answered the door (where was the nanny, who knows?) and told the lady, my mommy is not here, would you like to see her jewelry? Nearly 40 years later this woman, a dear family friend, still laughs about this. (my mom was less than thrilled!).

I think growing up in BH, with all the fabulous stores, and being a girly girl who loved fashion mags, helped me hone my style. I tend to have more classic taste. I remember getting my first Dior tapestry bag, and my first Gucci loafers. My mom always bought me and my sister the best, European clothes from Saks, Neimans, Bonwits, and the nicer boutiques. I loved dressing up in pretty things. I like high end things, because my mom knew fashion and bought me things that were amazing. My sister could care less. I loved makeup, my first money I earned babysitting I marched myself to a department store and bought Clinique. Mom would only let me have clear gloss and some mascara, but I recall it to this day. Luckily my hubby is successful, though his mom was not a spender or a fashion plate so we do not always see eye to eye on what I like to buy. But overall he is very generous, loves me to look good, and is pretty okay about it. I think he does not quite get it, but he knows it makes me happy. Having sons, I am not as focused on the clothes, though I do have to approve purchases and like my kids to look hip and cool but not sloppy or trendy. It does not have to be Polo, but I want pants that fit, and overall a tasteful look. I would likely have had a tomboy if I had a girl!

I also had a mom who bought couture, Yves St. Laurent, Dior, Chanel...and loved jewelry too. I loved watching her get dressed and playing with all her stuff. I have a vintage Judith Leiber of hers, sort of Asian looking in gold with silver fans and flowers on it, too small to hold a thing, but it brings back memories. I used to try on her stuff and prance around her bathroom, she had mirrrors all around and it was lots of fun. I went to nursery school in a boa, and clear plastic dress up shoes with glitter and bows, and a little handbag. I thought I was then bomb! I used to borrow her stuff when I was a teenager...I was the best dressed teen around. I always would beg her to take me shopping, and I loved that she knew good clothes and would get them for me, she knew I appreciated them. My dad was pretty frugal, grew up so poor and he and his siblings put themselves through med school, so even though he was successful, he tended to think some of was needlessly extravagant, but he liked nice wine and sports cars and going to the horse races, so I guess it all worked out!

I have one sibling, but a great cousin and other family so I do not feel gypped. I guess I think it is her loss, all the years she was awful to me, now I have finally had enough, and she cannot understand it.

 

[monarch64]

"I have always loved clothes and jewels. When we moved into our home, a neighbor came by to say hi. I was maybe three, and my mom was not home. I think I answered the door (where was the nanny, who knows?) and told the lady, my mommy is not here, would you like to see her jewelry? Nearly 40 years later this woman, a dear family friend, still laughs about this. (my mom was less than thrilled!). "

I am laughing! That is such a cute anecdote! Sweet how enamoured little girls are of their mommies and her things when they are that age!

It is really so interesting reading about you and your life. Thank you for sharing and from one insomniac to another (I''m sure you''ve noticed I''m often here late at night and that is due to my own insomnia) hope you get some rest and feel some peace tonight! I look forward to hearing more from you!

 

[diamondfan]

Thanks to a fellow non sleeper. My hubby is out of the country and I am home alone tonight with two of the three kids and just cannot get comfy to sleep. Watched the Illusionist, which was great (still trying to figure it out, too tired I guess!) and I love web surfing. I buy crap I do not need and return emails from West Coast friends. My quiet time.

I forgot to answer about my degree. Truth be told, in college I studied elementary ed with a likely emphasis on gifted and talented ed or bilingual ed or special ed. But the situation in L.A. at the time was so bad, I decided, even though I passed CBEST and had a lifetime pass, plus a preliminary teaching credential, that I just was not sure what I wanted. Decided to go to law school, but in talking to people in it, as a newlywed I just decided it was not for me. Then decided I might want to get my master''s in early childhood, and when the literature came, they also had information on getting a masters in psych. I did not need a big background in it, which I did not have, and it just looked so interesting. So that is what I did, while have two kids. I am proud to say I was in Psy CHi (honors) and had one B and all A''s during school. I worked really hard, even with a colicky newborn, trying to write a 30 page paper on gender issues...and I really worked my butt off. I have not practiced, since we moved east I could not get my practicum hours done, each state has different requirements and it made no sense to start in CA and move, and then once we got here, I had so much on my plate, new city, all new everything, building a house, new baby...that is just seemed okay and not a total waste to have gone to school and accomplished what I did (finishing, when I wanted to quit many times and earning a 3.95 GPA, all because I did my best work...) I guess no one can take that from me so nothing is ever a waste!

 

[Ellen]

df (sorry, I can''t stop calling you that, even though your name is one of my all time favorite feminine names), thanks for telling so much about yourself. We have many more things in common than our 3 boys, though not all for the same reasons.

You seem to have come through just fine though, so here''s to you!

 

[diamondfan]

Thanks! While I certainly am someone with some anxiety and stuff, I think I have managed okay so far. I hate to use the word normal since I think there is not one way to be, by a long shot, but along the continuum I feel like I have found where I need to, want to and should be. It is a great feeling. I think there a so many people here that have common threads, even though at first glance it might not seem so. No matter where you live or what your likes are, or what you grew up like, some things are common to people regardless. It is always amazing to me to know someone also has terrrible insomnia, or lost a parent at a younger age, or has anxiety issues that pose big trouble for them. The great equalizer, no one is immune to some of those things.

Ellen, let me tell you how much I HATED my name growing up. One of my nicknames was Princess Caroline, and people would sing Sweet Caroline all the time around me. Except my name was pronounced Carolyn, lynn, not line. Do NOT ask me why my mom spelled it that way, she was going by the Britihs, who do pronounce Katherine as Katherinn so it made sense to her. Yikes. NO ONE ever pronounces it right, they either call me Caroline (line) or spell it with a Y. It drove me bananas. I also wanted a cute name. Caroline is not a cute name, and I was never Carrie or Lynn or anything. I wanted to be Debby, Susie, Cathy, Laurie, Cindy, Lisa...there were not really any Caroline''s in school with me literally even til high school. Who wants to be different at that age?Seriously drove me crazy. Sometimes I would pretend my name was Heather just to feel better! My mom had NO clue how annoying it was to me...she loved the name. When I moved East, I noticed there were tons of Caroline''s and Carolyn''s...it had resurged and become very popular for little girls, at least on the East Coast.

 

[Ellen]

Ahh, I was pronouncing it as "line" too! It''s still pretty, but I can see why it would have bothered you.


And yeah, "normal" is relative.

 

[hlmr]

Hey DF! I Thanks for sharing yourself with us! BTW, I love your name too. Caroline is very pretty no matter which way it it pronounced! My mother wanted to name me Roxanne, so thank goodness my Dad insisted on Heather, otherwise I''m sure in high school I would have heard endless renditions of the Police''s famous song.

I completed my degree in Psych with a colicky baby too!!! And, my psyche has been dramatically affected by the loss of my mother. Kudos to you Caroline, and you know, I think that we all have a lot more in common around here than we know!

 

[diamondfan]

Hey, my own Uncle still calls me Caroline (line). Too funny. And, I actually love the name Roxanne, my friend''s sister was Roxanne and she was Annie or Roxy and I loved it...it seemed so sophisticated...

 

[hlmr]

Date: 3/4/2007 8:46:29 AM
Author: diamondfan
Hey, my own Uncle still calls me Caroline (line). Too funny. And, I actually love the name Roxanne, my friend''s sister was Roxanne and she was Annie or Roxy and I loved it...it seemed so sophisticated...

I used to wish when I was younger that my name was Roxanne, but after the Police song I was glad not to have it.

Haha....It''s crazy when people we are related to still don''t know how to pronounce or spell our names!

 

[diamondfan]

I would rather have the Police than Neil Diamond

 

[hlmr]

Date: 3/4/2007 1:08:43 PM
Author: diamondfan
I would rather have the Police than Neil Diamond

LOL I don''t know about that...Sweet Caroline would more likely get a ''Diamond'' from Neil and poor Roxanne a visit from the ''Police''.

hehee

 

[diamondfan]

True! But why did I have to be Carolyn with ine? Made my life miserable let me tell you. I longed for something easy and more normal, and would tell my mom I would not answer to my name. Really funny story which caused me so much anger as a kid...a friend of my mom''s crocheted or knitted Xmas stockings for me and my sister. My sister had a long name but her nickname fit on the front of the stocking, and her stocking had a tree with sequins for ornaments and little gifts on it. MY stocking had CARO on it, I never had a nickname and that for sure was not it (like Karo corn syrup) and I had a big reindeer head on mine. I was soooo upset that I refused to hang the stupid thing...and to this day it makes me mad!

 

[monarch64]

If it makes you feel any better, I found out a couple years ago that my mother chose my middle name out of spite towards my paternal grandmother. I guess my grandmother wanted to name me Laurie Lynn (she''s very southern), and my mother refused, but my g-mother insisted that I was "her" baby and she was going to name me. So my mother said no way, I''m naming her Heather (that was her mother''s favorite flower), and she chose the name "Rene" for my middle name because it was a woman my grandfather was involved with while he was married to my grandmother. Plus she gave it the masculine spelling instead of the proper feminine "Renee" spelling just to further inflame things.

 

[diamondfan]

oooh, that is funny to find out years later. Isn''t it weird how names affect us so much? I loved certain names for kids and dh and I argued about it so much...he knew someone with that name and hated them, or what not...we had many a discussion about it. I just always hated hated hated my name (of course now I love it even though it is common, but it is common among toddlers, I know no other adult Caroline''s)...so I think it is fine. For a while, my mom suggested I use my middle name because it had so many nicknames but I HATED it even more!

 

[Harriet]

I''m dying to know what your hubby does. Please don''t feel compelled to answer, if it''s too intrusive a question.

 

[diamondfan]

He is in investments. He raises and controls large funds and buys companies. He has an MBA and knows a ton about the law for a non lawyer. He also used to do a lot of buying of bankrupt companies, trying to come in and salvage them somehow. But the workout/distressed stuff waned a bit a while back, he had caught it on the upswing and did it for years, took a break, and now is in the midst of doing some of the same things, but he also buys healthy companies and makes them even better!

 

[Harriet]

Can I come work for him?