Ugh its happening again. Im not loving it :/

[DiamondBug8]

I have a pear engagement ring set in a bezel as well and I went through the exact same thing a few months after we got engaged. I don't know how long you have been feeling this way but the feeling actually passed for me. I just tried to remind myself why I wanted the pear in the first place, it is different and the shape is beautiful. We went through quite a process to find a pear that met our specifications and now I wouldn't want to change it at all.

Try to focus on why you got the pear in the first place. The pears seems to have a different kind of sparkle than a round but it doesn't mean it isn't just as beautiful! I agree with the other ladies, try and appreciate your stone in different lighting. And defintely keep it clean! I can tell a huge difference when my pear is dirty!

Good luck and I hope that you start loving your ring again soon!

 

[Niel]

It really is a GORGEOUS ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you say what your wedding band will be?

thank you! I love it too which i think is why im so torn about it. If I hated it then I wouldnt care about scrapping it and moving on, but I love just everything about it other than the lack of sparkle. And I guess thats probably a combination of factors. I work in an office 8.5 hours a day then by the time I leave work its dark out, I have no good light to see it in other than the place I take my lunch break (which I guess is something ). Then the fact that I see in here all those sparkly RB and feel like its inferior, which it is. But in the same sense that a fish is inferior to a bird because it cant fly. I shouldnt be comparing apples and oranges but its easier said than done. And it is sparkly, i mean at thanksgiving it wasnt a dead rock while everyone elses stones were firey, it held its own for the most part, but then again I know some of those arent the best cut RB's.

And the bezel was what I love most about it, I dont like the pear in a prong. Takes away from the fluid lines of it. And I am clumsy and scared of setting it in a 3 pring setting.

I am going to use one of those BGD bezel bands as one of my wedding bands (im using that sandwhiched between my e ring and a plain wedding band )

I think I have to lower my expectations a bit.

 

[yssie]

Can you have an RB shipped out and play with it for a couple of days, see how you feel when you compare the two in-person in the privacy of your home? (I say that because I find I don't generally make useful observations when there's someone leaning over my shoulder telling me what I *should* think - at home your eyes are the only judge).

RBs are very popular and very common, but there's a reason for it: if you value sparkle - in particular, if you value a combination of white and coloured light return, no other shape can compare. Well - maybe not entirely true, I suspect the Octavia is the sole exception I really like your fish and bird analogy - objectively your pear isn't inferior, just totally different, but maybe a bird is a better pet for *you* than a fish, whereas someone else might prefer the fish...

 

[Niel]

well i am back in love with it today. I think I have dirty water (it come from LAKE MICH) so when I was trying to clean it it kept getting worse I used some of our filtered water it seems to be looking better

 

[junebug17]

well i am back in love with it today. I think I have dirty water (it come from LAKE MICH) so when I was trying to clean it it kept getting worse I used some of our filtered water it seems to be looking better

I'm glad you're feeling better about your ring - I know some here on PS have recommended using distilled water to clean jewelry.

 

[motownmama]

I also rinse mine in isopropyl alcohol. Maybe your ring just isn't clean, as others have said. I clean my rings everyday

 

[Niel]

I also rinse mine in isopropyl alcohol. Maybe your ring just isn't clean, as others have said. I clean my rings everyday

Ive been cleaning mine every day with jewelry cleaner, a baby toothbrush, and then some water, but just tap water... I wonder if thats making a big difference

 

[milton333]

I may have missed it if it's been discussed above, but the reason for the pear is to get more finger coverage than a round, which you were VERY concerned about when you first came here. You were concerned about the size of your fingers and interested in getting maximum finger coverage. The pear in a halo is going to give you a lot more finger coverage than a comparable carat weight round, and certainly more than an AVC. In my humble opinion, it may be time to take a break from PS. Once you've purchased, it's time to stop shopping, and hanging out here is like constantly window shopping. There will always be someone richer, with something bigger and more sparkly and breathtaking, but that shouldn't take away from your enjoyment of your ring and your wonderful FI. If being here is making you unhappy, maybe take a break.

 

[Niel]

I may have missed it if it's been discussed above, but the reason for the pear is to get more finger coverage than a round, which you were VERY concerned about when you first came here. You were concerned about the size of your fingers and interested in getting maximum finger coverage. The pear in a halo is going to give you a lot more finger coverage than a comparable carat weight round, and certainly more than an AVC. In my humble opinion, it may be time to take a break from PS. Once you've purchased, it's time to stop shopping, and hanging out here is like constantly window shopping. There will always be someone richer, with something bigger and more sparkly and breathtaking, but that shouldn't take away from your enjoyment of your ring and your wonderful FI. If being here is making you unhappy, maybe take a break.

I know why I picked a pear. It was because I like it. Not just because it faces up larger. That was important yes. But If that was all I cared about I would have picked a marquise. I haloed it to get finger coverage, I picked the pear because after people suggested it I looked into it and liked the shape. I know there are rings nicer than mine, it not about comparing it to larger more expensive and sparklier ones on here. Its about how I just get one and want the nicest one I can get for my budget.

You specifically have told me to get off PS more than once. I like it here; I like to be a part of the community, not to "window shop"
I apologize if I am annoying to some folks, but I thought this was a nice place to discuss my concerns as well as share in the joy of other peoples jewelry.

 

[Enerchi]

I'm glad the drop in sparkle has been resolved as "Michigan water"! Fantastic that you are happier now and back in love with your ring -I'm glad for you!!!

 

[junebug17]

well i am back in love with it today. I think I have dirty water (it come from LAKE MICH) so when I was trying to clean it it kept getting worse I used some of our filtered water it seems to be looking better

I'm glad you're feeling better about your ring - I know some here on PS have recommended using distilled water to clean jewelry.

I meant rinsing the jewelry cleaner off with distilled water - sorry I was a little unclear!

 

[LibbyLA]

nielseel,

In Milton's defense, the words "may" and "maybe" were used:

"it may be time to take a break from PS" and "If being here is making you unhappy, maybe take a break."

I hope you find a way to love your ring, whether that's cleaning it more often or using a different technique to clean it or getting special lighting in your office so you can enjoy the sparkle more during your workday. You have a beautiful diamond and a beautiful setting that aren't like anything anyone else has.

liz

 

[lknvrb4]

I also rinse mine in isopropyl alcohol. Maybe your ring just isn't clean, as others have said. I clean my rings everyday

I rinse mine in this as well, makes a difference.

 

[chicam]

Please explain further what you mean by rinsing in alcohol. Do you clean it a different way first before rinsing in alcohol, and if so how do you clean it the first time. Do you let it sit in the alcohol while rinsing it. Thanks.

 

[motownmama]

I actually clean mine in the ultrasonic cleaner, then to rinse the cleanser off I use the alcohol instead of water - it evaporates - you don't need to wipe and it's very sparkly. I think I'll go do it now, as a matter of fact!

 

[chrono]

I rinse with regular tap water but use compressed air to dry the ring to avoid water spots.

 

[GemFever]

You specifically have told me to get off PS more than once. I like it here; I like to be a part of the community, not to "window shop"
I apologize if I am annoying to some folks, but I thought this was a nice place to discuss my concerns as well as share in the joy of other peoples jewelry.

Nielseel -- absolutely nothing annoying. I think the suggestions to take a break are only out of concern that bling overload may be affecting your enjoyment of your beautiful ring. I'm guessing people are speaking from personal experience This is the perfect place to come and vent, discuss, look, etc. And the place to get great tips and advice about your stones, right now I'm dutifully noting down tips from this thread on how best to clean my jewels If you like it here, please stay!

 

[stargurl78]

I think your ring is gorgeous, nielseel! I'm glad to hear you are reconsidering changing it

 

[Snicklefritz]

If you don't like it, set about changing the shape and getting something for fiery. I had a most brilliant stone that was beautiful in and of itself. However it lacked fire. I couldn't live with it despite its white light beauty.

I think this is me, its very brilliant, but not firie. I dont know I cant afford much else now unless I sold it and it breaks my hear to sell it because in theory I should love it..... I dont know. And I would have to take a huge loss and then I wouldnt have the money to get anything substancial. I dont know

There are lots of people, including myself, who've tried to make this phrase work. But more often than not, it just serves to stave off the inevitable. Glad you're giving it another look, though!

Agreed that taking a break can be a healthy, centering thing. Gives you a chance to breathe and let your natural, personal tastes resurface without being influenced by all the PS bling-a-ling. I think sometimes suggesting a break can be heard as "you can't handle it, step away". But that's really not what it's about. Most of the time it's just about getting back to you

 

[Dreamer_D]

If you don't like it, set about changing the shape and getting something for fiery. I had a most brilliant stone that was beautiful in and of itself. However it lacked fire. I couldn't live with it despite its white light beauty.

I think this is me, its very brilliant, but not firie. I dont know I cant afford much else now unless I sold it and it breaks my hear to sell it because in theory I should love it..... I dont know. And I would have to take a huge loss and then I wouldnt have the money to get anything substancial. I dont know

There are lots of people, including myself, who've tried to make this phrase work. But more often than not, it just serves to stave off the inevitable. Glad you're giving it another look, though!

Agreed that taking a break can be a healthy, centering thing. Gives you a chance to breathe and let your natural, personal tastes resurface without being influenced by all the PS bling-a-ling. I think sometimes suggesting a break can be heard as "you can't handle it, step away". But that's really not what it's about. Most of the time it's just about getting back to you

Add me to that list!

I did not get it right the first time and tried to "recoup" my funds with various lateral shifts -- setting my sapphire into a three stone ring, for example. I wish I had just kept what I had and spent some time thinking about what I really wanted, and then saved for that, rather than trying to make my existing stone/ring into something it was not.

I have also gone the route of selling something for a loss, and though it hurt, I was much happier having that money to spend on something I really wanted. Again, though, I suggest only doing this when you do know what you want.

 

[chicam]

I'm glad you are liking your ring again. However if those feelings of REALLY not liking it surfaces again, don't be in denial. Because if you are like me, if I haven't found just that right one, I'm just delaying the day of reckoning. It's not in my character to delay that day, and I find I can't live with a diamond I don't absolutely love, even if I take a loss and have to go smaller consequently.
Goodluck.

Also don't worry about having made a mistake yet again. The number of mistakes we have all made is I suspect, painful to remember. I know mine is.

 

[Ally T]

Oh Nielseel, I'm so, so sad that you don't like it! You were super excited when the reset came back

Have you had the diamond & it's cut appraised? I only ask because as you know, I have a pear also (due back from its own reset at the end of next week) and it sparkles and flashes the colours of the rainbow ALL the time, even in evening lighting. As a fellow pear coveter, i feel very sad that you can't feel love for it anymore because they are truly beautiful and unusual I have a sonic jewellery cleaner which I use once a week to keep it tip top. What are the specs on your stone again? I do remember when hunting for my own stone that I was advised with pear & marquise cuts to go for the highest colour & clarity we could afford to maximise sparkle - mine is a D colour VS2 clarity (but the teeny tiny feathering on the table edge chipped off, so technically it is now flawless)

I think you have to do what feels right to you at this time. Personally I would be tempted to hang on to it for a while. There's no urgency. If you still don't love it when you are in a better financial position, look at getting something else.

I really feel your pain, sweet. I cannot imagine how sad it must make you.
I hope you can find a solution x

 

[milton333]

I'm certainly not suggesting that you're not welcome here. In a matter of a couple of months you've had two settings and are now questioning your current stone and setting (within just weeks of posting a very happy show-me-the-ring on the new setting). That's a lot of churning through decisions and emotions. And, without being judgmental, it's not typical to be reinventing an engagement ring quite so much in such a short period of time. I'm not the most active poster on here, but have been around for years, and sometimes I see ladies who do a lot of resets and upgrades in a short period of time, often even before the wedding, and I've seen it be a real drain on finances and a strain on the romantic relationship. You seemed to be expressing a sort of vague dissatisfaction, the "something's not quite right," which to me can indicate that maybe too much looking at all the pretty baubles has made it hard to stop shopping for "perfection," and be contented with what you have. I'm responding to the emotional tone of your posts, which sound like this dissatisfaction is causing you considerable distress. If continually revisiting the stone and setting is not a financial drain and is not putting a strain on your relationship, if it is a carefree hobby and no big deal, then by all means.

 

[Niel]

I have had it reset twice because the first one was made very poorly. VERY poorly. Not because it wasn't " quite right" but because it was crap. I think anyone who saw that would agree it wasnt me being antsy it was that there was a problem with the construction. And my new setting I am in love with it.

My cut is excellent I have the GIA report. But I know that doesn't equate to fire. Maybe I should have it recut down the line. I know I could send it off and have someone tell me if something can be done. But tht would mean I'd have to scrap my setting. Or maybe I could use it to set a colored stone in a pendent. Who knows. But maybe that's what I'll do. I can't wait to see your reset Alex, btw.

 

[Dancing Fire]

you should stop by Home Depot more often...

 

[Laila619]

Recutting is risky; the stone could chip or shatter. I would not do that unless it's a last resort.

 

[Niel]

Recutting is risky; the stone could chip or shatter. I would not do that unless it's a last resort.

Thanks! good to know. I didnt know it was that risky

 

[yssie]

GIA doesn't assign cut grades to pears so the EX label must be coming from somewhere else.

Ditto Laila - recutting is risky, I'd leave that in the "last resort" pile. I do think it sounds like you'd get a lot out of seeing some nice examples of other shapes. If you want fire any shape with tons of tiny facets (pears, most radiants, 3+ chevron princesses, most modern cushions, many ovals) is going to be counterproductive to that goal, especially in this stone size where you're also limited by the fact that the facet sizes *can* only be so big..

It certainly can't hurt - worst case is that you don't like anything else better than your pear, in which case you're out shipping but fully confident that the fish is the best pet for you - doesn't seem like such a bad outcome

 

[motownmama]

I've been thinking about your story. I have a channel set eternity ring that I loved, then down the line thought it was meh. I cleaned it with all the pink and blue stuff in the jar all the time, but, it stopped looking so great. BUT, when I got an ultrasonic it actually got gorgeous again - this bit about being clean is no joke!!! I was shocked! I'm not sure your setting can go in an ultrasonic, but I also got the Jewel jet too. Maybe there's something else with the cut - I don't really know, but I just remember I loved it, then I didn't, then I did again and it was all dirt! I think your ring is so pretty. Maybe you should get a very sparklely wedding band - I'm not sure the bezel one fits that bill - maybe something prong set.

 

[Laila619]

GIA doesn't assign cut grades to pears so the EX label must be coming from somewhere else.

Ditto Laila - recutting is risky, I'd leave that in the "last resort" pile. I do think it sounds like you'd get a lot out of seeing some nice examples of other shapes. If you want fire any shape with tons of tiny facets (pears, most radiants, 3+ chevron princesses, most modern cushions, many ovals) is going to be counterproductive to that goal, especially in this stone size where you're also limited by the fact that the facet sizes *can* only be so big..

It certainly can't hurt - worst case is that you don't like anything else better than your pear, in which case you're out shipping but fully confident that the fish is the best pet for you - doesn't seem like such a bad outcome

Agreed! I have a round (FIC) with a steep crown and it is pretty fiery with lots of colored light. Perhaps a round would make you happier.