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STALKED..a cautionary tale/ Please read

distracts

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
5,359
I saw his face on Friday and searched the local area records for registered sex offenders. There's a guy that looks a lot like him that lives 10 minutes away!
But I'm not 100% sure it's him. My husband wants me to ask the deputies to check him out, see what he drives. I guess registered offenders have little rights, he is a "moderate" risk, lifetime labeled. Currently on probation after jail time for sexual assault. What would you do?
This is exactly the sort of thing a private investigator can do that the cops can’t. I know you said it was a $2500 retainer but it is worth it to have someone finding this stuff out for you.
 

AnnaNMoss

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 7, 2019
Messages
36
I'm getting more lights and cameras today. I cannot live like this. I'm not sleeping. Called 911 at 3AM last night , saw a slow moving vehicle similar to suspect's passing my house, hubs jumped up, engaged his shotgun...we were on high alert...until we realized it was just a sheriff, doing a safety check for us.
 

lyra

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jul 13, 2007
Messages
4,554
I would definitely go the PI route now. It's an extra witness, security and answers. This living in fear is too much.
 

kipari

Brilliant_Rock
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Joined
Jan 9, 2015
Messages
1,473
I'm getting more lights and cameras today. I cannot live like this. I'm not sleeping. Called 911 at 3AM last night , saw a slow moving vehicle similar to suspect's passing my house, hubs jumped up, engaged his shotgun...we were on high alert...until we realized it was just a sheriff, doing a safety check for us.
I'm sorry for you. What a stressful situation!! positive and calming vibes!!!
 

whitewave

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 29, 2012
Messages
8,814
I'm getting more lights and cameras today. I cannot live like this. I'm not sleeping. Called 911 at 3AM last night , saw a slow moving vehicle similar to suspect's passing my house, hubs jumped up, engaged his shotgun...we were on high alert...until we realized it was just a sheriff, doing a safety check for us.
tell them he comes at 5am.
 

whitewave

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 29, 2012
Messages
8,814
Do you have woods or anything across your street or is it houses on both sides of street? (Don’t answer)

In other words, DH said he would dress head to toe in camo and hide out all night waiting (armed in case) and get that plate.

But DH and I are a little crazy like that. Probably not a good idea to recommend. When DH dresses in camo head to toe, you can’t see him when he stands by a tree.

I even thought of you putting a pop up hunting stand in your yard... freak him out. Make him wonder what you are doing, but he is so crazy he might see it as a challenge.


3181E12A-B9D2-4455-864B-8D7BECC234CD.jpeg
 

MollyMalone

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 2, 2013
Messages
2,917
I feel my stomach knotting up just reading about this -- and I know it's a far more hideous, gut-wrenching experience for you. It's great that your local sheriff's office is being attentive. How I hope you are able to soon regain peace of mind and a normal life.
 

OoohShiny

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 25, 2014
Messages
6,676
Are you allowed to landmine your front garden? :D lol
 

AnnaNMoss

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 7, 2019
Messages
36
Hmm. Ring activates at 30 ft?? I have a long driveway. Much more than 30 ft to street. Now have several ring products, but not sure it's gonna work.

Oh and son casually tells me he saw guy out front at 530 this am.
 

whitewave

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 29, 2012
Messages
8,814
Hmm. Ring activates at 30 ft?? I have a long driveway. Much more than 30 ft to street. Now have several ring products, but not sure it's gonna work.

Oh and son casually tells me he saw guy out front at 530 this am.
Oh, I don’t know! Shoot. Let me go play with mine.
 

minousbijoux

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Aug 5, 2010
Messages
12,258
Seems like the morning might be the best chance of catching the guy, as he seems to pretty consistently show up about that time. How much would it cost to engage a PI to "stake out" your house at that time?
 

arkieb1

Ideal_Rock
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May 11, 2012
Messages
8,761
I am deeply worried for you, the guy knows you know he is there and are filming him and he doesn't care, this means you are in danger of being robbed, or physically attacked by him, I don't think he just wants to watch - I think it will escalate.

When I was in my 20s and a University Student, I went to vote at a polling booth, a young man flirted with me and checked off my name, phone number and address, and handed me the voting forms.... I guess I probably flirted back because I was young and didn't think anything about it. The guy started phoning me several times a day, then he started showing up outside the apartments I lived in, stealing things like my underwear off the outside washing line and following me, as well as phoning me several times a day.

I changed phone numbers, got back from University one day lots of police, turns out he murdered the girl that lived in the apartment across from mine, I don't know if he thought it was me, was frustrated and took it out on her, or she saw him trying to break into my apartment or what happened - but it was one of the most horrific things I've had to deal with.

I moved out not long after that, lived and live a very low profile life, the guy went to jail but is probably out all these years later and doesn't know (to the best of my knowledge) where I am.

You can NEVER be too careful especially if he is mentally ill.
 

whitewave

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 29, 2012
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8,814
Well, you can hit the alarm button whenever you want.

I wonder if you can put a battery cam at 29 feet and effectively get 59 feet of distance?
 

Polabowla

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
118
I am a PS regular, writing this under a temp name for anonymity

I am being stalked by a stranger. This person has been showing up at our house at random times during the night...just sitting in our driveway. We thought maybe innocent at first, then began to suspect we were being cased. A few days ago he was down the street as I was leaving for work very early. He turned around in my driveway, followed me for several blocks. The next morning my husband followed behind me, and sure enough the same man was around the corner.
We have alerted police, talked to neighbors. We have installed cameras at the house, getting a dash cam installed tomorrow. Deputy is concerned for my safety, suggested I get a gun permit. This is seriously scary stuff to be dealing with.

The thing is: I DO NOT KNOW THIS MAN. I am beginning to think at some point he followed me home and I was oblivious.

****LADIES: I am writing this here to you all as a reminder to be diligent, be aware of your surroundings, pay attention to who is around you. It is so easy to be distracted, especially this time of year. Please be careful out there ladies, don't let your guard down. Be safe, be aware!****


And if anyone has any experience or knowledge how to handle this situation, please comment. I am scared!
Just read ur initial post. Omg that's terrifying, I am so sorry!
 

OoohShiny

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 25, 2014
Messages
6,676
I think, and hope, arkie's example is pretty extreme... :shock:


It sounds like 0500-0600 is prime time for his visits. Do you have a good quality camera with a zoom lens? (And do you know how to use it on a non-flash setting?) If so, you could secrete yourself in a dark room with blinds and try to get some zoom photos of the car / plate / his face.

Are there traffic cameras nearby in the area? If there are and you were able to record the time of his visits, either from time-stamped video or direct observance, perhaps the Police could review the footage for his vehicle.
 

whitewave

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 29, 2012
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8,814
Ok, so you can also turn the floodlights on manually though the app... so you can turn it on and activate the alarm siren manually. At this point, you said you aren’t really sleeping anyway so.. might be worth it to get up and have it look like motion set off itself. Etc
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
55,237
I really think the best bet is either get a PI to be hidden from 4am to 6am and see if he can get photos and the license plate. I think any visible reacting on your part is not the best way to catch him. It might give him (evil) pleasure to think you are afraid.
 

AnnaNMoss

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 7, 2019
Messages
36
@arkieb1 what a horrible experience, I'm sorry that happened. I'm getting more concerned as days go by, and pics aren't great but looks like he has something in his hand when he was running by...I know this is not a good situation, believe me.
 

AnnaNMoss

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 7, 2019
Messages
36
It is hard to fathom how a person could enjoy making others miserable. But in this case he's kinda toying with a beehive.
 

arkieb1

Ideal_Rock
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May 11, 2012
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8,761
@arkieb1 what a horrible experience, I'm sorry that happened. I'm getting more concerned as days go by, and pics aren't great but looks like he has something in his hand when he was running by...I know this is not a good situation, believe me.
Yes my situation was at the extreme end of what can happened - but the point I was making wasn't to scare you it was to say that unfortunately there are people out there who are mentally ill that do stalk people and if taking photos of him and confronting him, isn't making him stay away then I think it is a reasonable assumption he is getting worse and is not going to leave you alone until something occurs like a break in or an attack of some form.

I don't want anything bad to happen to you or your neighbours, after living through that myself, the police are limited in what they can do until he actually either breaks into property or attacks someone.

I agree with the others do EVERYTHING you can to deter this guy if that means hiring someone with a gun and a big dog, or moving to somewhere else for a while where he doesn't know you are, do it, it is not worth taking the risk with your life.
 
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Bonfire

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Messages
2,952
This is a nightmare. Exactly what happens when the police get his plates? Tell him to knock it off? You say it‘s a Class 3 Felony in your state. Only 6 states have Class 3 Felonies and it depends on which state as to the degree of seriousness and punishment doled out. He’s trespassing on your property if he’s running around your yard with something in his hand, escalating his threatening behavior. At that point you are within your rights to protect yourselves. He’s target practice!
 

lyra

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 13, 2007
Messages
4,554
Can you hire security people? I mean your whole street seems involved. I think it's best to leave everything to the professionals, and that includes people who are armed. Grammar fails me tonight, sorry. I mean you should have armed security, because he may be armed as well.
 

OoohShiny

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Apr 25, 2014
Messages
6,676
Have you clarified with the Police the laws surrounding/defining what you can legally do when on your property in terms of defending yourself?

Here in the UK we can use 'reasonable force' to defend ourselves in our home IIRC, which is not a specific set of defined actions within a text but reflects that a defence action must be proportionate and appropriate for the situation - e.g. you can't shoot someone in the back when they are a burglar running away carrying a pen knife or are unarmed (ref: the Tony Martin case).

In the US I imagine it's probably legal to shoot anyone at any time? lol :lol:
 

whitewave

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 29, 2012
Messages
8,814
in my state, its legal to shoot once he is on my property as long as I feel I am in danger.

DH and I would have no problem using this guy for target practice at this point. We would be up and waiting for him.

But we also have friends who have had to actively defend their house with a shotgun while waiting for police to arrive and we once had to while in another state with a reciprocal law with our state.

Yes, DH and I have used a firearm to defend ourselves while waiting for police to arrive. DH did not discharge the weapon but was prepared to.

With the private drive, I am unsure how that fits into stand your ground, though I’m pretty sure he should have been arrested by now for trespassing on private property. I am unclear why the sheriff won’t do their duty and wait for him and arrest him for trespassing on the private property.

How much is an off duty officer?
 

Mamabean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
5,863
I read this whole thread...I feel so bad for you..I wish I had something to say to help you...If you lived near me I would let you stay with me until this was over...Please consider staying with someone...I’m very worried about you..
 
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