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STALKED..a cautionary tale/ Please read

Arkteia

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Nov 3, 2009
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7,499
I am very glad. There are states allowing to put DNA into CODIS even if the person has been only arrested. I hope you live in one of such states. They should see where else he has left traces.

I follow some cases after my friend’s daughter disappeared, and most often, all these perps are caught by sheer chance. Something tells me you are not his first victim.
Keeping fingers closed that they don’t l t him out.
 
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lissyflo

Brilliant_Rock
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May 23, 2016
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793
I’m so pleased for you! That’s fantastic news that you could sleep knowing you were safe and secure, and that you and the police now know exactly who this man is. Here’s hoping he’s dealt with permanently.
 

rainydaze

Ideal_Rock
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May 1, 2007
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2,751
AnnaN I hope you did in fact get some good rest last night. I have been following with a clenched stomach; I hope the next steps follow in your favor, keeping him in custody for a good long time. Please stay vigilant and keep your new security measures operating just in case, and I hope the deputy will keep you updated with his progress through the system (still in custody, released, court dates, etc.). I hope this is the beginning of the end and you stay well!
 

AV_

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 5, 2018
Messages
3,044
Good thing that you were heard. Relief!
I assume that the man's presence near your house will be restricted after release, and that you will remain in contact with the police for some time, then, forget the dread & all. I'd be very curious about that man, but it is not safe to do almost anything...
 

KKJohnson

Brilliant_Rock
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Aug 15, 2017
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1,640
I have so many questions now that they have him in custody! Go and file that restraining order for you and your entire family now that you have his name, that way if he does get released and is caught reverting back to his old habits he can then be re-arrested for violating the restraining order
 

rainydaze

Ideal_Rock
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May 1, 2007
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2,751
I know someone already mentioned it upthread, but I just want to second the book "The Gift of Fear". If you haven't read it already, I highly recommend it. I read it a long time ago, but I recall that the actions of stalkers and violent offenders run counter to what we expect. Restraining orders and arrests more often than not escalate the offender's behaviors rather than de-escalate them. I hesitate to write this because I want so badly for you to have lasting relief from this awful, awful situation. However I don't want you to let down your guard when this might be the time you need it most.
 

KristyDarling

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 27, 2005
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3,817
What a relief!!!!! Oh I'm so glad. Now let's hope that the law will serve its purpose and this person will never bother you again!
 

kipari

Brilliant_Rock
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Jan 9, 2015
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1,601
Good news!! Seconding the notion to stay vigilant though. ((Hugs))
 

partgypsy

Ideal_Rock
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Nov 7, 2004
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6,295
Rainydaze that might be true they are not a "cure all" but when you have a restraining order, it means you have legal recourse if the person breaks that order. Otherwise you can't do ANYTHING until the person literally does something to you. But yes you still need to be aware of your surroundings and anything that seems off. My family had a stalker. I don't think he was as dangerous as this situation (was a former friend who was mentally ill) but was certainly persistent (mostly phone calls, calling, and then not saying anything on phone) but it did at one point escalate to prowling my family's yard peering in windows and at one point broke into our house with a knife. Because we had the restraining order whenever he broke it we could call the police and he would be picked up. It went on for years until he finally stopped (either gave up or fixated on someone else).
What is true, no personal contact with this person. Only communication do through police.
 

KaeKae

Ideal_Rock
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May 27, 2009
Messages
2,096
Police apprehended suspect this am. I am not going to divulge any details here, but I am breathing a huge sigh of relief. I will sleep so peacefully tonight.
Thank you all for your support during this stressful time, it helped a lot!
I am so relievedfor you!
 

AnnaNMoss

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 7, 2019
Messages
36
Slept like a baby last night, after many sleepless nights. Definitely relieved. Police said the man has "some issues" (mental?) And prior arrests.

Sorry to bring any drama or stress to any of you by talking about this here, but I was at my emotional limit and felt like a prisoner in my own home. Such a terrifying experience. I really appreciated all of your advice and concern.

Starting to feel "normal " again.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
2,526
Slept like a baby last night, after many sleepless nights. Definitely relieved. Police said the man has "some issues" (mental?) And prior arrests.

Sorry to bring any drama or stress to any of you by talking about this here, but I was at my emotional limit and felt like a prisoner in my own home. Such a terrifying experience. I really appreciated all of your advice and concern.

Starting to feel "normal " again.
For all the psycho strangers out there its still nice to know so many good strangere cared about you and worried about you and your family
Glad its all over in time for the holidays
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
29,683
Slept like a baby last night, after many sleepless nights. Definitely relieved. Police said the man has "some issues" (mental?) And prior arrests.

Sorry to bring any drama or stress to any of you by talking about this here, but I was at my emotional limit and felt like a prisoner in my own home. Such a terrifying experience. I really appreciated all of your advice and concern.

Starting to feel "normal " again.
@AnnaNMoss it can be so helpful just to share and vent and get it out and I am very glad you were able to find some relief and comfort and support here. That is why (one of the many reasons) I love PS. Because most PSers are kind and empathetic and supportive and caring. And it really does help to share and vent and cry and find comfort and solace here. We are here for you and rejoicing with you and praying this disturbed individual leaves you alone from here on out and gets the help he needs.

Sending you continued good thoughts and comforting hugs. Take good care of yourself and your family and you remain in my thoughts and prayers.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
20,083
SO GLAD to read this!!!!!

Oh my goodness. So glad.
Sleep well @AnnaNMoss - sleep extra for all those nights you couldn’t!!!!!
 

luv2sparkle

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Feb 3, 2008
Messages
7,634
Don’t for one second feel bad about coming here and venting. I hope the support here made you feel less alone. We are all in your corner, and I would bet there is more than one person here that would jump on a plane to be there for you if you needed them.
 

stracci2000

Ideal_Rock
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Jun 26, 2007
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3,533
We are all very happy you are safe!
 

Demon

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 16, 2009
Messages
568
I'm very happy they arrested him.....are they going to let you know if/when he is released?
 

TheGarnetGirl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 13, 2018
Messages
864
I read the entire thread!
This man sounds crazed and obsessed with you and your life.
It's scary thinking that he saw you somewhere and thought "You!"
& how it all probably started from there.

I'm so so so happy he has been apprehended!

I'm probably too cautious, (I've been through some trauma), but I'm constantly aware of my surroundings the moment I step outside of my house. Having minor social anxiety probably helps to do that actually....BUT I've also had family that have been attacked and assaulted before by strangers so I feel I can never be too careful.

Every now & then when I run errands with my small daughter or take her out somewhere I will get a guttural sense that someone is staring with a different intent. I always then listen to that feeling and I do something you all might think strange, but I make a public display of showing that im constantly watching her and on high alert and aware of their eyes. My adrenaline starts pumping and I can feel that they sense that aggressive protective crazzed energy and theyve always looked away and moved on after.

Id have no problem going into hyperdrive the moment someone shows me theyre a predator and for the few seconds of display my blood gets pumping and I quickly think of an affective measure to get away.

I also always check my car before getting in. When alone I also look around and any man staring or following me gets my eyes starring back. I have a number in my phone for our local PD (that isnt 911) and have it saved as an innocuous/random name in case I was ever kidnapped.

Paranoid I know, but these things happen. Women and children are taken every day for the sex trade or are burglarized, assaulted, or murdered.

My home is another thing alltogether. I have a dad and beau that are obsessed with guns and they wish someone would. There are various measures in place there...


Thank you for posting, its a great reminder to all of us, especially women to be extremely aware of our surroundings while were in public.

**Dont ever drive to your home if being followed. Make some weird turns and if they dont stop you drive straight to the nearest PD. **
 

arkieb1

Ideal_Rock
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May 11, 2012
Messages
8,865
Now you and the police know who he is, I hope you have taken out an AVO so he cannot go near you or your property and have all the cameras and security in place for when he gets let out. Unfortunately the thing with stalkers and mentally ill people is they are not rational - my guess is that he could come back again when the police release him, so be on guard and prepared just in case.
 

Polabowla

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
178
Sooo relieved for you that he was arrested! Maybe his prior record will keep him locked up tight for a nice long time.
May this be the beginning of a happy & peaceful holiday season for you & your family!
 

Rubymal

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Messages
218
This thread was such an emotional rollercoaster. So glad you are safe now, OP.
 

rainydaze

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 1, 2007
Messages
2,751
Slept like a baby last night, after many sleepless nights. Definitely relieved. Police said the man has "some issues" (mental?) And prior arrests.

Sorry to bring any drama or stress to any of you by talking about this here, but I was at my emotional limit and felt like a prisoner in my own home. Such a terrifying experience. I really appreciated all of your advice and concern.

Starting to feel "normal " again.
I was so glad to read this AnnaN. I'm a little worried that you haven't been back to this thread though... I hope that means he is still locked up and you are just getting some good catch-up on rest and peace. Please check in if you can to let us know you're doing well!
 

Dandi

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jan 9, 2006
Messages
5,260
Oh AnnaN I am SO relieved to read this. Please check in when you can and let us know how you are doing!
 
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