Single Ladies Small Talk

[princesss]

GG, getting your own place is awesome! Mine is a work in progress, but I think it'll always be like that, KWIM? Right now I need lamps for my nightstands, and a new rug for the living room, and to put up my curtain rods so I can make curtains. I freaking love my new nightstands, though. They make me so happy.

As far as meeting new possibilities - I'm just a chatty person, and I joke around with anybody and everybody. I find that I meet the most interesting people, and that leads to new friends, which I'm a big fan of. Not that I have a *ton* of time for them, lol, since I already barely have time for the friends I have, but it's nice to have options. And anybody that will take me rafting is a-okay in my book.

That's great that your therapist thinks you've made that much progress! Now it's time to just have fun living your life. And yeah, taking guys out of the equation for a while is a great thing. It lets you just focus on what makes YOU happy. (Plus I'm kind of a selfish person, so it's nice to not have to worry about anybody else!)

Ink, that is quite the story! I'm interested to see where it goes next.

 

[Inkblot]

I am definitely NOT a professional writer, but Bryan was a huge part of my formative years, my marriage/divorce, a support system after, and my first sense of love. I adored him for over 9 years, and I thought that maybe it was serendipitous that Bryan and I were always in relationships or one was single while the other was not. The timing was just NEVER right. I just remember the year I got to know him so vividly, it seems like the reason I even ended up a single lady is all interconnected back to that year of hawking jewelry at Macy's.

Since I don't currently have any single stories to contribute, I can at least offer entertainment from my past. Until you gals get sick of it, and then I'll just quit when you get tired!

That, and I'm off work with strep throat and have time to reminisce and play around! But Bryan was what I like to call my "One Great Chase." Because let's be honest; we all have THAT guy in our life. That unattainable, absolutely perfect, romantic comedy movie-worthy guy that has trouble seeing us as women and not a gal pal. Literally, I can remember nearly EVERY time Brian touched me during the height of my infatuation with him. I would practice writing my name with his last name. And I was 20! Sad, so sad.

Yeah, it was one of those. Man, was I pathetic.

I knew I couldn’t look at Bryan as more than a workplace crush. Okay, so ex-boyfriend and I didn’t date long enough to even be considered a couple, and he started dating my best friend—strike that, ex-bestfriend—the same night we broke up. I was pretty pissed about it until I realized I didn’t want to date a Treasure Troll, so she could have him.

Bryan was a distraction. He made work seem palatable, and our sex conversation back in the holiday stock room was seared in my skull like a brand. Call it a moral shortcoming, but I couldn’t get the image of rolling around with Bryan on a soft bed of fake snow and decorative glitter out of my head.

We’d spend the frigid nights driving around in his sleek Mustang, going to inane, strange movies that no one else liked, or rocking and shivering on his backyard porch swing under a carpet of winter stars.
One night, I was so cold on his back porch swing that I clenched my teeth together as hard as humanly possible to keep them from chattering. I wanted nothing more than to burrow into Bryan’s side and enjoy the comfort of Aqua di Gio and a Columbia down jacket could provide.
“Cold?” he murmured quietly.
My teeth cracked together. “A-a-lit-tle. A Little.”
As if a parallel universe had opened, Bryan tugged on the sleeve of my battered blue flannel jacket and pulled me closer to his side. I tentatively let our sleeves touch, unwilling to push invisible boundaries no one had yet claimed. He settled his weight slightly left, and I finally began to feel the heat of his blood warm my right arm. Although the meager heat did nothing to defrost my frozen hands and stinging cheeks, I toughed it out in the name of intimacy. He was touching my arm, for godsake! I would’ve died of hypothermia if it only meant the moment could last forever, or until my heart stopped pumping blood into my lungs.

I lived for seeing Bryan. Each witty exchange of banter became a high for me; my heart beat triplicate if his hand would accidentally brush mine. Every smile caused by one of my sarcastic jokes was a triumph that I’d replay in my mind while waiting for sleep. I'd shake before he'd pick me up, and I'd feel nearly sick with glee and nerves when that blue muscle car would materialize in my driveway, and he’d jog up the steps to my front door. I felt so special that he thought I was worth the chivalry of door-to-door service.
“Hey Blondie,” he’d greet me.
“Hey GQ,” I’d reply tartly, my inner, stick-figure Ink turning cartwheels and blowing heart bubbles into the blank air.
The problem was that Bryan always sent me mixed signals. I found out nearly a month after our fledgling friendship began that he had a steady girlfriend, one, whom he claimed was his one true love. I don’t know why I assumed someone like Bryan would be interested in a Harry Potter reading, softball playing, flag twirling, borderline OCD geek like me.

When he told me about Candy—yes, really, that was her name-- I pictured my breath whooshing out of my lungs like a punctured sail, hissing “Loooooosssseeeeer.” They were together for nearly a year at that point, and no matter how many times I visualized her walking into oncoming traffic or leaping off a bridge, she was always the elephant in the room. A big, stupid, gorgeous elephant with a Victoria’s Secret body and eyes like a goddess. Bitch.

He told me about his high school life, his family, his best friend, his musical talents. I told him about my dog, my lust for travel, and my passion for literature. We shared our most intimate thoughts and embarrassing details of our lives. I felt helplessly close to Bryan, despite the fact that he was seeking intimacy with someone else.

I was Windexing the wrist watch display on Christmas Eve, wearing a ridiculous pair of pipe cleaner antlers and a ruby red ball nose. I fervently wished for Grammie’s house, roast ham and spinach dip, and plenty of booze-laced egg nog to douse my complete lack of dignity in effort to preserve my job after the holiday season. If that meant working Christmas Eve and being one of Santa’s minions with a piss poor attitude, so be it.

I caught my reflection in the streaky glass and gave myself a garish smile. I didn’t make a half-bad reindeer. My hair was smoothed behind my ears in the front and sticking up in spiky plumes in the back; I’d drawn little circles of blush on my cheeks and added silver glitter—or Reindeer Dust, as my boss liked to call it when he handed me the tube—to the corners of my eyes. I didn’t exactly look like I’d competently pull a sled or shit out candy canes, but when the chips were down, I gave the illusion of Christmas cheer.
Enjoying my own private moment of self-deprecation, I stuck my tongue out.

“So are you Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, or Vixen?”
I stood up abruptly and continued to stick my tongue out at Bryan. Seeing his appearance, I stopped dead in my reindeer tracks.
“Hey,” I protested. “How come you aren’t dressed up like one of Santa’s rejects?” Bryan was dressed in a black dress shirt, nice slacks, shiny shoes, and a suit jacket that probably cost $300. My car barely cost $300.
He flashed a grin.
“Because,” he smiled. “I’m not actually working tonight.”
I self-consciously adjusted my nose and tried not to smear glitter over my face. A fake eyelash drooped a little and obscured my vision. Bryan reached out to straighten my antlers. He smelled like heaven.
“So why are you here?” I turned my back on his unearthly beauty and put away the glass cleaner and paper towels. I was off the clock in ten minutes, and relieved I’d only have to face my family in full on Reindeer Gear at our holiday bash.
“Oh, you know. Just in the neighborhood, spreading Christmas cheer.”
I scowled and leaned against the register stand, crossing my arms over my chest.
“What’s the real reason?” I asked flatly. “Tell me you didn’t drive all the way over here on Christmas Eve to poke a sleigh puller. And I'm Rudolph. Red nose? Low self-esteem? Waiting for my little claymation self to save Santa on a foggy Christmas night?” Glancing at the clock again, I , I removed my nose and rubbed at my freckles.
“No,” Bryan remarked slowly. A mischievous smile curved over his full lips, revealing slightly crooked teeth and one dimple on his left cheek.
“I drove over because I have a Christmas gift for you.” It was only then I noticed he had his hands buried in his suit coat pockets and he looked rather…I searched for the word. Impish.
Alarmed, I realized I had no gift, no nothing for Bryan, unless you count the volumes of sappy, lovelorn poetry I’d been writing in his honor.
“Um, I didn’t realize we were exchanging gifts, “ I stuttered a little, overwhelmed that he’d thought to buy me a Christmas gift, yet horrified that I hadn’t the foresight to return the favor.

Bryan’s moved his shoulders in a careless shrug, his confidence too innate to realize that I was, yet again, embarrassed and floundering in his presence.
“We weren’t. But I saw something that made me think of you, and I couldn’t pass it up.” Bryan’s eyes twinkled guiltily, and I swear my inner stick figure was fist-pumping and high-fiving herself in delirious hysteria.
“Oh. Ok.” I arched a brow and scratched at my neck, leaving little trails of silver glitter where my fingertips had touched my eyes. I thought about Bryan constantly, but that didn’t mean I bought him a gift. If I did, I feared he’d read too much into it and my ridiculous crush would be evident.

Bryan pulled a small, tastefully wrapped square box from his pocket and set it gently on the glass countertop. At that second, the store lights dimmed and my manager announced to lingering, last minute shoppers that the store would be closing in five minutes. Instead of cashing out my drawer, I stared at the tiny box with its cheerful red ribbon.

“Well, anyway, I better go. You can open that anytime. I’ll see you after the holidays.” Bryan made a move as if he’d hug me, but at the last second he put his hands back in his pockets and I heard the jingle of car keys.
“See you around, Inklyn,” he said as he moved away. Over his shoulder he called, “Oh, and by the way…Merry Christmas!”

I stared at the package for another second before I reached out to open it. I meticulously peeled Scotch tape from the corners, careful not to rip the shiny gold paper. Inside the wrapping was a cream-colored cardboard box, the kind that typically houses costume jewelry on a bed of flat cotton. My heart lurched, foolishly thinking that Bryan got me some sentimental piece of jewelry that would declare his undying and hopelessly unrequited love for me. Even my stick figure scoffed, huffing her breath as if to say, “Dream on.” She rolled her eyes and tapped her little inky foot at my absurdity.

I slid the box top back to reveal Bryan’s gift. It was a small, ornamental bookmark. The mark itself was a silver prong that gathered pages, but the top was a smooth glass teardrop with teal, gold, and purple swirls inside. I rolled the cool glass in my hand and noticed something shimmer inside the delicate swirls of color. I held the bookmark up to the dimmed fluorescent lights and squinted. Suspended in the center of the viscous glass was a tiny, impossibly delicate golden quill.

Like the Grinch, my heart instantly swelled three sizes.

In a haze, I cashed out my drawer and said goodbye to my coworkers with typical holiday fanfare. Shrugging on my wool coat, I headed out into the blistering cold, only to find that about three inches of fresh snow had fallen while I worked the last of my shift. My yellow car looked like a sugar-dusted Peep.

In my haste to get into my car and out of my antlers, I nearly missed the snowman that was drawn onto my windshield frost. However, something about the snowman was a little off. I peered closer at the snowy scrawl.

It was missing its nose.

 

[iota15]

Uh, Inkblot. Would it be okay if I wished your had str... I mean, were home more often.

I could read any novel you'd write ALL DAY.

I can't wait for the next episode! hahaha. MORE!

 

[GamerGirl]

Ink- how much vacation time do you have? Cause I'm going to need you to stay home and finish your story (and any others that you think of). Also, you should write a book or many books. I'd buy them

 

[Inkblot]

Hey ladies,

Wow, glad you enjoy Tales from Ink's Single Life. I was back to work today, but I did doodle a bit during lunch. I'm am catching up on reading some other threads (PriceScope is blocked through my company filter) and trying to choke down antibiotics. That's the one bummer about holidays: I had surgery over Christmas and was out of commission for a few weeks, and then I had strep over Easter! Not to be blasphemous, but I was so sick 36 minutes into church that Jesus' tomb was looking like a comfy place to take a nap.

Honestly, if people don't mind reading "story book" style, I'll continue the memoir. James Frey, I'm not. I remember these conversations because they happened, and because I was in loooooove with the due for like, 10 years. Even when I got married to XDH, I always wondered if I missed one cosmic moment where Bryan and I were supposed to be together. I did therapeutically journal after my divorce, so much of what's spinning in my cognitive mush encapsulates, "How did I get here?" 28, divorced, sickly, and totally disillusioned with life for awhile. Naturally, we think of our past and the paths we took to destruction or triumph.

So...I could use some female support.

I have an auto-immune disorder that's linked to my endocrine system, so even though I'm a gym rat, my weight swings wildly from month to month. For instance, I'm running in a marathon on May 15th and have been training since January while dieting nutritiously. I've gained 22lbs and 2 (almost 3 as of this morning) dress sizes and it's totally humiliating and demoralizing. Since I work in a public field, I've had four people ask me in the last two weeks if I "had a bun in the oven." I thought I was hiding the uptick well with baggier clothes, but apparently, my bun and respective oven are getting noticeably fat. It sucks. So. Hard. Writing down Tales from Ink's Single Life has been a nice distraction from my own private hell these past few days. I'd have strep throat the rest of my life, if only it meant I could have some type of systematic control over my own body size and hormones. That's how upset I am. I've been to every specialist under the sun, and it's to the point where one of the best medical teams in the country doesn't know what else to do with me. It's inexplicable to them that I can eat salad and protein (I'm gluten intolerant) and no sugar for 12 consecutive weeks and gain 22 lbs. of fat (they did a body mass index on me and submersion tank). I defy science.

I'm miserable.

Because of how physical I am (I actually personal train when I'm not at my real job) and how I spent most of my life fat (you'll see when I share more of my single life), this type of rapid weight gain, complete with stretch marks, is utterly crushing to my self-confidence. I'm trying in vain to not let it affect my lifestyle or relationships, but getting dressed for work every day is a little shop of horrors. I have an entire closet that I was comfortably wearing in January that I can't even get up over my butt now. The only thing left to try is hormone replacement therapy, but no doctor is willing to go that route with a 28 year old female who hasn't had kids. It would screw with my fertility and bone density, so everyone is just sort of waiting to see how much I expand this time. It's only ever been this bad once before (in 200, and it took another entire year to drop the weight I had no assistance in gaining in the first place. I'm a human Michelin Man, cross my heart.

Oh, crap. I'm starting to tear up. I guess this is the place for it, right? Though I don't have any current dating tales, I could still use a place like this to vent, right? I just a little alone, and my family doesn't quite know what to do with me. I'm getting pats on the head and "No one can even tell!"...but they're lying their sympathic faces off. My boyfriend is supportive, but again, he really doesn't know what to say. He's used to me being tall, shapely, and muscular...but this is getting ridiculous. I don't quite think he realizes saying, "But babe, there's more of you to love!" just devastates me.

I have a doctor's appointment on Monday, and this is sort of my last ray of hope. I just want some type of answer, because willpower isn't the problem. This isn't one of those eat less, exercise more scenarios, and due to my own OCD over this whole debacle, I've been keeping a food journal for 3 months. I feel like a vapid moron telling my training clients how to eat, when they're watching me inflate before their eyes. It's damaging my credibility as a resource, and I actually cried myself to sleep last night. Of course, that meant frozen spoons on my eyes this morning before work, but I couldn't help it.

I just...don't know what to do.

Thanks for listening.

 

[GamerGirl]

Awww, Ink I'm sorry you are having to deal with this! The mom of one of my friends from HS had cancer and ended up having her thyroid destroyed during chemo and she had a similar situation - where she would work out and eat SO healthy and still had no control over her weight. I'm praying for you and hope you get some good news at the doctor appt! We're here for you whether it is to read your wonderful "single gal" stories and hear about your day or vent away!

 

[princesss]

OMG, I would burst into tears at "more of you to love". Absolutely freaking bawl. Honey, I don't know what to say, other than I'd be frustrated and upset and have days when I didn't want to leave the house, too. I hate when doctors can't figure it out - it's so hard to hear "Well, we'll just have to see..."

*big hugs*

 

[iota15]

Oh, Ink. I can only say I feel your frustration and wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big hug. If it were me, the lack of control I'd feel over the situation would make me feel the same too. You seem like such a strong woman. This is just a hiccup, albeit, a very difficult one. Please take solace in the fact it's happened before, and you lost the weight - eventually, your body will sort itself out again as well. Maybe take a bit of a break, like a week or two, away from the personal training?

 

[iota15]

I also wanted to add that I think what you're feeling is perfectly natural. Any of us - even the strongest of us - would feel the same way. Mourn. From that, hopefully hope will spring and a relaxation of the control I would feel over what is not controllable at this time.

Feel free to talk, share, or distract yourself with us.

If it helps, I REALLY think you should get into the storytelling business. You could write the next Twillight!

 

[GamerGirl]

Woohoo - the one apartment that I was hoping for (well, based on location and a good word from a coworker - I have yet to actually see the exact unit) is now available June 1st! yipee. At first he thought it wouldn't be available till July and I was kind of thinking I didn't want to wait that long. Sent him an email back to set up a tour - I really hope it looks as nice as the photos on the website!!
I was trying to post the floorplan but I can't seem to get it to upload. I'll try again later I guess.

Went out last night and the night before (Weds was my birthday) and tonight I think I am going to stay in for a low key night. My mom got Social Network from netflix and I haven't seen it yet so that might be nice. Plus if I stay home that will give me more time to window-shop for decorations for my new apartment!! I'm only slightly obsessed - I swear!

 

[Inkblot]

GamerGirl, retail therapy for a new place is joyful! After I left my entire life behind, I thoroughly enjoyed shopping online for things that were just for moi. Soft, microsuede and down comforters, chocolate and ice blue pillows for my bedroom, new dishes (squares, not circles like my XDH insisted upon). I did my bathroom in mud brown, sharp cranberry, and cool beige with matching towels and accessories. I bargain hunted and created my own little touches with hot glue, ribbon, and burlap. My apartment is my haven!

You girls are something else. I feel better just knowing I could open up and share without recrimination. It seems like any time I express my distress to real human beings, no one can understand or they offer shallow platitudes or disbelief. Like I would LIE about something so devastating to my emotional and psychological well-being. Today was very rough, I seriously felt like a chunk walking around work. But...I did have to host a guest speaker for four hours, and I had time to play around. Ergo, I bring you the 3rd installment of Ink Tales.

PART III OF INK TALES (Copyright Inkblot 2011 hahahaha! Seriously, what if someone tries to rip this off, they sell it as a novel, and I'm out of a zillion dollars? Just sayin'.)

After Christmas, the time Bryan and I spent together was surreal. He was smooth and articulate; he was refined in manners and very urbane for a college freshman. Bryan treated me like a jewel, and made me feel pretty and confident in his presence. He treated me like a lady, always opening doors--including my car door--paying my way, and getting nearly outraged if I beat him to it, not that I expected it-- and doing other trivial things that in my girlish mind belied the mark of a true gentleman.

Despite Candy’s hovering, mean girl presence, the air was always palpably charged between Bryan and I; literally, I'm surprised observers couldn't see the sizzle and pop of electricity snapping in our company. We'd go on "Bryan and Ink Dates," and we'd call it "Date Night," even though I knew in his mind it wasn't a real date. He did have a steady girlfriend, after all.

All I know is that I treasured each and every moment spent with him, even if I knew it would never progress beyond ridiculous flirting and deep, hidden pockets of chemistry upon which neither of us could act.
In short, he was the greatest unrequited love of my life.

We both quit Macy's and real life took over. The college years passed and we remained in contact, even though he stayed in Pittsburgh and I went to a Big Ten university. There were other boys, other romantic interludes, and other crushes, but Bryan was lodged irrevocably in a nook of my heart reserved for truly exceptional people. Though we were hundreds of miles apart and living the college life, we still talked on the phone and instant-messaged, sometimes for hours at a clip. We talked about our conquests, parties, and classes, our friendships...and that elemental attraction never waned. He'd call me to complain about girls, I'd sass him, he'd sass back, we'd laugh into the night, and wistfully say goodbye until the next time. I'd wake up with a dull ache in my chest and a discontent I couldn't explain, and I'd often find myself staring out the library window. I'd wish for starless nights in Bryan's Mustang, the cadence of our voices mixing with the road and plaintive notes of Jack Johnson and Dashboard Confessional.

When we connected in person, the orbital suck of chemistry spun on an axis all of its own. In fact, Bryan is the only person in my life who didn’t treat me like a fat lard when I gained the freshman fifteen. Okay, freshman forty-five. Eeesh. One of his few romantic gestures towards me actually occurred at my most physically unappealing. He later told me that while he appreciated me as a woman, my brain was sexy and weird. What twenty-one year old boy can be urbane enough to pass off a phrase with both "sexy" and "weird" and make it work? To this day, I’m still uncertain if the “weird” comment was complimentary, though I have a hard time equating sexy with a wrinkled lump of pink cognitive goo. Regardless, the timing was never right for a relationship, it seemed.

We acted on our attraction twice, and I vividly remember--even now, years later--nearly every time we touched. The first time he ever touched me-- alone-- was in my old jalopy. We were finishing one of our trademark night rides through the country, and I was driving. My sputtering yellow monstrosity was stopped outside of a local "haunted" tunnel, and I recall our conversation was always intricate and unnaturally adult for that period in our lives.

I loved hearing him speak, because his voice was a deep and silky, often tinged with humor and laced with sarcasm. My hair was streaky platinum that swung in a bob just below my chin, and I remember wearing a teal shirt and comfortable jeans, but taking extra care with my perfume and cosmetics when he was around. He turned to me and pretended to be freaked by the tunnel, and the warm palm of his left hand somehow found its way over to my right thigh…and gave it a squeeze.

I'm sure the moment was less than a second in reality, but to me, that brief physical contact suspended itself for what seemed like years, and the imprint of his hand on my leg lasted the rest of the night. My pulse jumped in my throat, and I remember the brief jolt of heat that spiraled between us when my eyes locked on his in the dark cavern of the car.

Soon, each meeting included more innocent caresses. The stroke of his hand toying affectionately with the ends of my hair; the brush of his fingers along the tops of my knuckles; the pressure of his palm on the small of my back when walking together in the city.
Once, we cuddled during a movie and I remained in cardiac arrest the entire film. I remember the title of the movie, but I couldn't tell you the actual plot. My brains scrambled like an egg on 100 degree asphalt; I was too aware of the warmth of body pressed to my side, his arm around my shoulders, and the absent stroking of his fingers on mine. After the movie, I saw him to the door; we hugged tightly as always, and every nerve on my body blazed to life, pheromones purring. Bryan pulled away, his lazy river eyes searching mine for a moment, and I swear to this day that he was waiting for me to kiss him, as if that would have somehow made the situation less wrong.

Candy, with her voluminous hair, perky boobs, and unnaturally perfect body still held Bryan's interest. Again, the b*tch. Seriously, couldn't she go exert her succubus-like tendencies on some other boy? The chick was toxic.

I was close enough to him on movie night that my clothes smelled like his cologne, and I wondered for the rest of my life if I was supposed to reach up and touch my lips to his in the laundry room of my parents' house.
Was that our moment? Would that have changed things? Would it have crossed invisible boundaries and irrevocably ruined the unique and beautiful relationship we had?

I got my answer my junior year of college. I had mentioned I'd be in the area for a friend's birthday in December, and I'd forgotten I'd told Bryan. I had lost weight, let my hair grow, and my confidence was enriched with feminine awareness. My cell phone rang, and I looked at the screen in disbelief. Bryan and I hadn't seen each other since the pregnant pause of kisses missed, and I thought he'd deliberately distanced himself from me. Now, months later, he was calling me. He was out with his best friend Adam and wanted to know if I could link up with them on the other side of the city. Although I thought Adam was a total weasel, I considered their offer. Surprising myself, I made some excuse to my friends and navigated my way across town to meet them.

I'll never forget the huge, boyish grin Bryan gave me when our eyes locked for the first time in several months. His eyes twinkled with mirth and he wrapped me in a hug that stole my breath; something indefinable had changed, I could feel it in the way he held me. Pulling away and running his fingers through the back of my hair, he tilted my face back and told me I looked great, and we spent the night drinking and swapping war stories from college as if no time had passed. I can still feel his fingertips on the back of my neck.

What surprised me most was not Bryan’s behavior that night but Adam’s. Adam was a typical college frat boy; the type with the rolled-bill ball cap, man-cessories, American Eagle everything, and a sexy build that came from years of college soccer. Adam and I never had a great relationship, as I often felt like I had to vie for Bryan’s attention in his presence. Adam had a knack for making me feel inadequate and out of place with Bryan, and his constant parade of stinging remarks and thinly-veiled derogatory comments made me loathe him. Though Adam was a pleasure to look at, his sharp green eyes and sardonic smile—though heart-stoppingly attractive—often weren’t kind or happy when aimed in my direction. It seemed that Adam delighted in making others feel uncomfortable, and no one would really call him on it because he was slick enough to push the envelope just far enough, but not so far that anyone could get particularly outraged. His arrogance, intelligence, and good looks made women fall at his feet, but I had little patience for his antics and refused to let some of his barbed comments affect me—and he knew it. For every comment I had a comeback, and Adam spent his time and energy in my company trying to one-up me. We were well-matched verbally, and I personally think he never had a girl challenge him before. I thought he was a total dick. Naturally, we despised one another.

That night at the bar Adam was drunk enough—and thankful enough—that I was willing to drive them home. He was jovial but not particularly so, and I continually felt those jungle cat eyes observing me over the top of his Coors Light. I had a sinking feeling Adam knew that Bryan and I were much more than casual friends or work acquaintances, and I couldn’t blame him for his assessment. Or judgment, however harsh. Adam didn’t say much that fateful night; he bantered with Bryan and attempted to include me in conversation, even getting a little protective of me when slimy older bar patrons tried to chat me up or woo me away from my corner of the bar.

By the time I dropped Adam and Bryan off, I was asked in for more beers and pool playing. Eventually, Bryan and I ended up on his level of the house--he split the house with two other roommates--watching movies and nonchalantly tangled on his couch. As if any two people could ever be "nonchalantly" tangled.

Adam stumbled up the stairs to raid Bryan’s personal beer fridge, and after a moment of quiet observation, arched a brow and sneered, “You kids have fun now” between gulps of Miller High Life.
With his shamrock hat tipped sideways and a mocking grin cupping the top of his beer bottle, Adam made me feel guilty and cheap. He gathered a blanket and Saks pillow—a gift from Candy--from Bryan’s deluxe futon and headed downstairs. It seemed Adam knew where the night was headed, even if Bryan and I didn’t.

 

[iota15]

Woohoo - the one apartment that I was hoping for (well, based on location and a good word from a coworker - I have yet to actually see the exact unit) is now available June 1st! yipee. At first he thought it wouldn't be available till July and I was kind of thinking I didn't want to wait that long. Sent him an email back to set up a tour - I really hope it looks as nice as the photos on the website!!
I was trying to post the floorplan but I can't seem to get it to upload. I'll try again later I guess.

Went out last night and the night before (Weds was my birthday) and tonight I think I am going to stay in for a low key night. My mom got Social Network from netflix and I haven't seen it yet so that might be nice. Plus if I stay home that will give me more time to window-shop for decorations for my new apartment!! I'm only slightly obsessed - I swear!

Gamer - online window shopping is SO addictive. I guess that applies for decor and furniture, as much as it does for diamonds. Have a fun night, and I hope the place really is that nice.

Inkblot - PART 4, PART 4!!! haha. MORE!

 

[GamerGirl]

Ink - More!!!!

BEG - loving the apartment photos - #2 looks like a clear winner to me

So one thing I need to think of: dimensions!! I've been online window shopping and when I take a break from browsing through various right hand rings - the bedroom sets are calling me! Some are gorgeous but then I wonder how much space am I going to really have in the bedroom? I'll have to be sure and take measurements from all the ones that are possibilities so I can adjust me shopping

Saturday night sucked. I had to be on a conference call for work -- just as a support person as the project that was going on wasn't directly related to my area. The call was supposed to go from 2-2:30 and then another quick check in at 5-6pm. I was on the phone from 5-midnight!! ugh. And the kicker is that they had to pull the project back, they didn't even get to the part of the project that was slightly related to my area (and the whole reason I was forced on to the calls!) I really hope this week goes better!!

On a brighter note - out to ride and peek at the filly again today AND got a good run in and watched Water for Elephants (kinda long movie, lots of violence toward animals and people, buy Rob did look cute in all his non-sparkly vampire splendor) currently finishing up my laundry for the week and making a grocery list for tomorrow night. So I feel like I made up for Saturday a wee bit.

Plus I get my hair done this week! woohoo. I have to hightail it over to Barnes and Noble to browse through some hair magazines to get some better ideas of what to do with it. I've been going a really dark brown with a little bit of auburn undertones and I am thinking of lightning up for summer -- maybe more of a straight auburn or coppery color. Decisions decisions....

 

[Inkblot]

GamerGirl--Lighten up for summer! I love streaky-looking hair in the summer time! I'm a natural dark blonde, so I just forgo low-lights in the summer and have the salon hit it once before wedding season.

B.E.G.--I am partial to the first apartment, but that's mainly because I love homes painted in a warmer palate.

Iota--thanks for being a fangirl, ha!

I was at the bridal shower from hell this weekend. Not only was I a guest, but it was for my boyfriend's cousin. Ergo, they decided to cook for it as a family, and I got roped into cutting veggies, chopping meat for antipasto salad, and generally feeling a bridesmaid, even though I not. What really ticked me off was that as I'm wrist-deep in salami cubes, the bridesmaids were standing there yacking and drinking punch! I was not above trying to shiv someone with a paring knife. The shower was also nearly 3.5 hours. On a Saturday! 2 hours out of town!

The kicker, I had to miss one of Bryan's parties. Yep, the Bryan from the story is still a great friend of mine, and he threw a classy event yesterday. I had to miss it to play Mario Batali for someone else's shower.

My big doctor's appointment is tomorrow, and I'm anxious. I've been trying to calm down and trust that my body will figure itself out, but I'm also feeling emotionally fragile and afraid I'll bawl through the entire appointment. I also am so immuno-compromised due to strep throat and barely want to eat (lately, food=enemy...even salad. It's a daily struggle when I wake up bursting out of my yoga pants), that I woke up today congested and achy. Yep, full-blown cold just in time for the work week. I am honestly just throwing up my hands over here.

 

[Inkblot]

Ink Tales, Part IV

I don't know if it was the alcohol, our physical proximity, or the undeniable chemistry radiating between us, but soon I was in clothes Bryan lent me and I was tumbling towards the bed with him. I stood there in his pajama bottoms, feeling his gaze scorch my skin, paralyzed with intent. Do or die, Ink. Do or die. Ignoring my conscience, I took his offered hand and followed him to the alcove of his bedroom, my breath hitching and hand trembling, panicking the entire four steps it took to cross the threshold. This was the moment I'd fantasized about for years, bursting with opportunity.

The second his mouth covered mine I was already reclined against his pillows and relishing the pressure of his body, the soft, seeking warmth of his impossibly supple mouth, and the air that hissed through his teeth the moment my fingertips grazed the flush skin of his bare back.
"You okay?" he whispered, taking a moment to bring my knuckles to his lips.
Dazzled, I nodded mutely, intensely focused on his clever lips.
Bryan turned over my wrist and planted a soft kiss on my hammering pulse. The last thing I heard was, "We'll go as far as you want to go."

Heat and Miller High Life burned away any caution, vaporized any thoughts of stopping, regrouping, or analyzing. Buzzed as I was, I felt like a trapeze artist swinging with no release, no safety net, and no way to look down. I knew it was wrong, but the way his hands cupped my face and fluttered through my hair made any reservations—as well as my modesty--vanish.

I regret the fact that we'd been drinking now, as I wanted our first kiss to be something memorable and deliberate, not something induced by substance and clouded judgment. If he kissed me, I’d always wanted it to be of his own accord, because he desired that physical connection with me and couldn’t bear the thought of not experiencing the texture and taste of my lips for himself. I wanted the kiss to be the result of burning curiosity, frustration, and need, not alcohol and inevitability.

I knew things were different when we woke in the morning. Rousing myself, I stared at the mounted surfboard above Bryan’s bed, and it took a second for me to get my bearings. A falling anvil would’ve felt more comfortable than the instant, lung-crushing devastation pummeling my ribs. I took inventory, surprised my virginity was still intact. Barely, but apparently I'd still been able to set boundaries in the throes of bad decision making. I was curled away from Bryan on the bed, and I wondered how that was possible, given the bed was a twin and we’d spent the better part of three hours intimately close.

I blinked at the ceiling, already feeling the tell-tale burn of imminent tears in my throat. Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. Forcing them back and planning to creep from the blankets as stealthily--and cowardly--as possible, I rolled gingerly to the side and right into Bryan’s carefully blank gaze.
“Uh, good morning,” I said softly and superficially cheerful. My heart slammed to my kneecaps when I saw him cringe slightly.
“Hey,” he said. “You’d better get going.”
Knives. Sharp knives, filleting my ribs. Lungs. Heart. Can't. Breathe.
His face was unreadable, but I could palpably feel the shields going up around him.
Walls. Shut out, give up, get out.
“Yeah, uh. Give me a call, okay?” I tried to think of a less cliché way to ask him if he wanted his pajamas back. Swallowing hard, I pretended I didn’t notice I was wearing his clothing, his scent, and light marks from his fingertips. Bleary-eyed and unbearably awkward, we locked eyes once, storm gray crashing into regretful green, the moment killed. For the first time in our relationship, the words wouldn’t come.

Typically, our sentences couldn’t be spoken fast enough, and the rush of words ebbed and flowed as comfortable and natural as a river. Rising from bed, Bryan shrugged into a shirt, and my face heated when I realized he caught me watching intently. I was immobilized by shock and horridly awkward. He motioned me towards the stairs, picking up my purse from where I'd tossed it the night before. Back when things were normal. He walked me to the door, and I remember inwardly grimacing. His eyes seemed so morose and broken with mistakes; I was appalled that I was the cause of those negative feelings. I felt small parts of my heart splinter and die with every step towards his front door, and the final nail in the coffin was the humiliating, stilted goodbye that didn’t even warrant a hug or brush of lips over my embarrassed cheeks.

What in my head should’ve been a meaningful, fun, and intimate experience suddenly became tawdry, cheap, and riddled with regret. Although he didn’t know this, I was already in tears by the time I pulled away from his curb. It was the first time in four years he’d neglected to walk me to my car.

I cheered myself up by banking on the resiliency and consistency of our friendship. Surely, he would call, we’d logically and maturely discuss what happened, and debate what path our friendship should take. I figured he would’ve stopped the night before if he truly didn’t want me in his bed, and I wondered if it was easier for him to credit alcohol for his exploration of my body. Looking back, I was trying to rationalize that he'd never act like a NORMAL guy. He wouldn't just try to get a piece, would he? I couldn't have been a mistake, could I? I thought he was above that? I wanted to vomit.

I felt guilt that I’d permitted us to be in that situation, but a part of me desperately needed to discover what it felt like to be in his arms as lover and not a friend. I wish the circumstances had been different, and I wish instead of being “the other woman” that I could’ve been HIS woman. Upon reflection, I don’t regret that night anymore. I do, however, regret that we lost so much more than clothing that night.

Bryan didn't talk to me for a year.

 

[Selkie]

Yeeeeouch. Love your writing style, and eagerly awaiting further installments!

 

[GamerGirl]

Inkblot - seriously - this is more interesting and better written than most anything on TV or the movies these days. Not to belittle your story by comparing it to that - but I think you should really consider creative writing as a second job or first job or just really lucrative hobby?
Sorry about the horrendous shower - there is a reason I've tried to avoid many of those. Best wishes for tomorrow - I'm thinking as many positive thoughts as I possibly can in your direction.

 

[iota15]

Whoo - Ink. That brought up feelings in me that I haven't felt in years! The situation was different but I can definitely relate. I'm sure a lot of other girls would too.

Single ladies - I hope you don't mind my intrusion on this thread.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Hi guys! Sorry I've been MIA.

First, welcome to Ink! And thank you for sharing your stories with us. And big hugs about your endocrine disorder - I'm so sorry hun. You are of course always, always welcome to come hear and talk with us, vent, whatever. I'm really hoping this all works out for you. Your boyfriend, however, sounds like a great man, and I'm so glad that he is there for you and so supportive. And as Iota said, I also agree that what you're feeling is natural. I'm sure I wouldn't be handling something like this as well as you are - loss of control is never an easy thing. Kudos to you for being such a strong person - again, big hugs.

GG - Reading your post about how you loved your ex but wasn't IN love with him anymore - that struck a chord. Because that was exactly my last year of my relationship with my ex. Somewhere along the way, between us growing apart (as far as our future plans), fights, lots of stress over his epilepsy, and some issues with a horrible ex of his, we lost our spark and I fell out of love with him. Not to say I didn't LOVE him - I did - and in truth, he'll always have a part of my heart, but I wasn't in love with him anymore and you have to have that, IMO, for a successful relationship. So I totally empathize - but you know, sometimes that's a good way to end a relationship too, realizing that you can be friends still and appreciate the things you do have in common, while acknowledging that there isn't anything there anymore for something MORE than that, you know? Easier transition, I guess. And CONGRATS on the promotion!

Also - congrats on finding an apt!!! Now, we shop for furniture for you? Btw, I decided on furniture, and it's not anything I've posted so far You're going to have to post the floor plan! How many sq ft total is the apt.? I might be able to give you a better idea going off that - my last apt. was 715 sq ft. and I could definitely fit a full bedroom set in there. I'll go hunt up my last apt.'s floor plan too.

Princesss - I agree with GG. Especially when it comes to guys - you meet way more interesting prospects than I do! Hopefully that'll change when I get to the Bay Area

Nothing new with me - I've spent the last few days shopping like crazy with my mom for household stuff. We've bought so much - gosh, I hope everything fits in my car.

Hot Ski Guy and I have chatted a bit via text this last week, and again tonight. Did I tell you guys? I'm trying to be zen about this. Meeting him and all the associated drama was a fun way to cap the ski season, he's a super great and nice guy and a good friend to have, and if anything is ever meant to come out of this, it will - but not now. And I'm becoming ok with that. In case you guys haven't picked up on this, I tend to be a bit... well.... I fall fast and hard, and just as quickly sometimes I get over it. I'm not quite there YET with him but I suspect I will be fine when I get to CA, and especially when I start finding other guys down there who are far more accessible. And to be perfectly honest, yes, I've been far more outdoorsy and pushed my boundaries this year, and I intend to keep doing so in CA, but I'm not REALLY an outdoorsy girl. I love shopping, and sparklies, and girly things, and cities and good food and arts and culture and stuff. Not that opposites can't attract or make it work, but you know - even if I become more into hiking, etc. I am far more of a culture girl (plays, improv shows, cultural stuff, art, music, books, restaurants - even things I'm knowledgeable about point in that direction), and I think the Bay Area will give me far more scope for things I love and help me find guys who may share at least one or two of those interests Right? This is healthy right? But this doesn't mean I don't want to see him again - he's really cute, darn it!

Also, my BFF here told me last week that we can't leave (she's supposed to drive down to CA with me) on the Thursday we're planning on leaving until after 12:30 because of her summer school schedule. This is my super flaky friend that I've posted about (in another thread) who has really frustrated me the last few months by her incredible unreliability. That first day we're supposed to drive to Portland - a 11-12 hour drive. I don't want to stop somewhere else that night, and I'm a bit... well I don't know. I get that she has work, but I'm also a bit miffed that she just expects me to change my moving schedule to accommodate her. We're supposed to pick up my other BFF in Portland to drive down - I'm going to tell her that maybe it's just better if she comes visit me later in the summer and not drive down with me. At this point, I'd rather drive to Portland alone ... and to be honest, not having a third person would make it easier for getting everything into my car, since I'm bringing so much stuff with me (not the least a crate with my kitties that's going to take up room). Blergh.


And um, Inkblot, I want a continuation. Because I feel like you've left us at a cliffhanger, and it's KILLING ME.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Whoo - Ink. That brought up feelings in me that I haven't felt in years! The situation was different but I can definitely relate. I'm sure a lot of other girls would too.

Single ladies - I hope you don't mind my intrusion on this thread.

Of course not! Post away!

 

[Inkblot]

The doctor's appointment did not go well. She basically ordered some basic blood tests and said she didn't really know what to tell me, other than keep track of my calories and exercise more. Seriously, I can't devote any more time to exercise. I can't cut back any more on my calories without being an Olsen twin. I already don't eat any bread/pasta/flour/rice/starch products due to a gluten sensitivity, and I haven't had anything with real sugar in about seven years, thanks to the rampant diabetes that runs in my family tree. I literally am existing on salads with protein, low fat dairy, veggies, some nuts, and sugar free JellO. There's nothing to to cut!

What did surprise me, though, is I was sitting in the waiting room reading a book. It was pretty packed and I barely glanced up when the door opened. My head lifted a little when I felt the tell tale stir of air beside me, indicated someone had sat down. Then, I smelled faint traces of Polo Black and heard, "Hey, babe." Low and behold, my boyfriend shows up to support me. I hadn't demanded it, I hadn't even asked. He just knew where it was and what time it was, and figured out the rest for himself.

I was touched and he helped me not get too overly emotional in front of the physician. I just want some ANSWERS, I'm so tired of struggling every darn day.

 

[princesss]

So, I had an interesting conversation with somebody yesterday.

I think I mentioned my friend had a photoshoot yesterday? I had the day off to just relax, so I went with her again. She was changing, and the photog and I started talking, and it was kind of frightening how easily he read me. He kind of looked at me and said, "You have a lot of walls up." I said, "Yeah, I do."
"Why is that?"
"Big break up."
"When was that?"
"About 9? 10? months ago. Something like that. We'd been together for 5.5 years."
"So you're getting to that point where you might want to consider dating again, which means..."
"Yeah, but it's almost impossible to find what I want here, so..."
"What do you want?"
"To move around."
"Come on, that's not hard to find here! This is a transient city."
"Yeah, but I want to leave the country and then keep moving around."
"Oh."
"Yeah, that's a little harder to find. So until then, I'm comfy behind my walls."

It was kind of odd to be read that easily and to have him bring it up so casually. Most people either don't notice or don't mention the fact that I have barricaded myself someplace safe, and to be honest, I hadn't even realized quite how much I'd fortified the walls I keep around myself. Definitely something to ponder...

 

[GamerGirl]

Inkblot - I'm so sorry that the appt didn't go better. That is so sweet that the BF showed up though! Did you show your food journal to the doctor? Stay strong - big hugs to you!!

BEG - I'm definitely not to the point of being friends with the ex - 14 years is a lot of time to get past - maybe some day when I've settled more into my fabulous new life Also - don't officially have an apartment yet but one that I think I will get if the tour goes well - hopefully I'll be able to get in to see it in person early next week!! Just to be safe I'm also going to set up appts to tour a couple of other places. When do you move? I'm excited to see what your new place ends up looking like when you finally get it all set up!! I've become totally obsessed with decorating lately.

princess - building walls, boy do I know about that! Crazy that the photog figured it out so quickly!


Not too much else new with me - doing a good job keeping the working out going - my pants are all feeling a bit loose which is nice! I've been so busy at work this week that I haven't seen cute guy all that much so no fun flirting. I've got my hair appt tomorrow and I'm kind of nervous - which is not usual for me, my hair grows SO fast and I'm usually willing to try anything. I think because I don't have a firm idea in my head of what I want (just about 20 different pictures that show things that are interesting but no one look) and I feel kind of attached to my hair for whatever reason right now - I'm hoping my girl is feeling creative tomorrow and we come up with something good!

thankfully mother nature FINALLY decided that Wisconsin deserved some Spring weather and hopefully that will stick with us for a bit!

 

[iota15]

So, I had an interesting conversation with somebody yesterday.

I think I mentioned my friend had a photoshoot yesterday? I had the day off to just relax, so I went with her again. She was changing, and the photog and I started talking, and it was kind of frightening how easily he read me. He kind of looked at me and said, "You have a lot of walls up." I said, "Yeah, I do."
"Why is that?"
"Big break up."
"When was that?"
"About 9? 10? months ago. Something like that. We'd been together for 5.5 years."
"So you're getting to that point where you might want to consider dating again, which means..."
"Yeah, but it's almost impossible to find what I want here, so..."
"What do you want?"
"To move around."
"Come on, that's not hard to find here! This is a transient city."
"Yeah, but I want to leave the country and then keep moving around."
"Oh."
"Yeah, that's a little harder to find. So until then, I'm comfy behind my walls."

It was kind of odd to be read that easily and to have him bring it up so casually. Most people either don't notice or don't mention the fact that I have barricaded myself someplace safe, and to be honest, I hadn't even realized quite how much I'd fortified the walls I keep around myself. Definitely something to ponder...

It's crazy how a stranger can bring that out of you.

 

[princesss]

So, I had an interesting conversation with somebody yesterday.

I think I mentioned my friend had a photoshoot yesterday? I had the day off to just relax, so I went with her again. She was changing, and the photog and I started talking, and it was kind of frightening how easily he read me. He kind of looked at me and said, "You have a lot of walls up." I said, "Yeah, I do."
"Why is that?"
"Big break up."
"When was that?"
"About 9? 10? months ago. Something like that. We'd been together for 5.5 years."
"So you're getting to that point where you might want to consider dating again, which means..."
"Yeah, but it's almost impossible to find what I want here, so..."
"What do you want?"
"To move around."
"Come on, that's not hard to find here! This is a transient city."
"Yeah, but I want to leave the country and then keep moving around."
"Oh."
"Yeah, that's a little harder to find. So until then, I'm comfy behind my walls."

It was kind of odd to be read that easily and to have him bring it up so casually. Most people either don't notice or don't mention the fact that I have barricaded myself someplace safe, and to be honest, I hadn't even realized quite how much I'd fortified the walls I keep around myself. Definitely something to ponder...

It's crazy how a stranger can bring that out of you.

Yeah. I'm guessing, though, that since part of his job is to make people feel comfortable around him and he loves to people watch, he's just really good at reading people. It was actually weird how easy it was to talk about it. Generally when people tell me I'm hard to read, I'll laugh and say, "Why? I'm such an open person!" (Which is true - I'll tell you anything I'm comfortable talking about. But there are definitely things that I keep very, very private.)

In other news, I got to catch up with my friend C last night. It was so nice! I love to make her laugh with stories of my ridiculous life - she and my friend S crack up because I have the amazing ability to see the ridiculousness of a situation WHILE it's going on and to totally embrace it, where most of our friends need time to process it all before they think it's funny. Our friend I. was there, too (he's been pursuing C pretty single-mindedly for a while, and it seems like she's starting to be won over), and I don't think he's ever actually seen me that animated/heard those kinds of stories from me. He was cracking up (actually, come to think of it, I. heard a *lot* from me last night that he hasn't really heard before - he was on the men's ultimate team with my ex, and so most of the guys *kind of* know that I'm dating, but don't actually know the stories or hear me talk about guys since, you know, they're friends with my ex!). C wants me to start a blog, but it just seems silly. Add to that the fact that I've had a blog before, and I always forget to update it, I just can't see it working out.

Anyways, Ink - I assume you're back at work, so does that mean we have to wait until this weekend for more story time?

GG - hooray for loose pants! I love that feeling. And what did you end up doing with your hair?

 

[Inkblot]

Story time will resume soon, I just have sporadic internet connections! Work is seriously insane right now, I've been there hours later than normal. That sucks, because I'm a salaried employee and overtime doesn't count! It's "part of the job." Blah.

The good news is that I've managed to find time to de-stress by giving myself a pedicure, self-tanning session(there's a 2x2 patch of skin on my back that no matter which way I wiggle, I just CAN'T reach it), trip to Target and the grocery store. If I have an extra bit of time tonight, I plan on highlighting my hair. I've been foiling my own for years, and I have it down to a science. If GamerGirl lived closer, I'd do it for her! I'm VERY particular, and I would seethe leaving salons if it wasn't streaked to my specifications. Why pay all of that moolah if I didn't like it in the end?

Random thought: I am enjoying mixing cottage cheese with fresh strawberries and toasted sunflower seeds.

Looks like everyone is doing well.

Princesss, I am intrigued by the wall comments from the photog. It's amazing how much we reveal to observant people. I know that I always sit with my arms crossed and my chin purposefully raised if I know I'm going to get into a confrontation.

Did anyone read this article today? It makes me want to vomit:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42319185/ns/today-relationships/

 

[GamerGirl]

So I went a little crazy at the hair salon -- I now have dark brown auburn base with highlights of varying bright reddish hues. I LOVE it and I'm guessing I will love it even more when the highlights mellow a tiny bit. My mom actually liked it a lot (usually she makes comments like "Well, that sure is a dark color huh?" so I was a bit shocked!)

We took so much time getting the color right that we ran out of time to do a cut! So I only got my bangs trimmed and have to go back in a couple of weeks for a cut. I think that is actually for the best cause it will let me get used to the color and pick a cut that will accentuate it.

I tried to take pictures last night but shockingly enough my camera skills leave a lot to be desired and taking a picture of your own head is not as easy as it sounds....

 

[princesss]

Bahahahahahhahaha.


OMG. There is this guy that I have run into a few times over the course of the past year that has failed SPECTACULARLY at picking me up. He has become the poster boy for exactly how not to try to get my phone number, and how to get on my bad side in one fell swoop.

Guess who got my number tonight? He is seriously cracking me up. Our phone conversation (that's right, he's ALREADY tried to booty call me) was basically him trying to get my name/address/information and me shutting him down. Repeatedly. And yet, the boy keeps trying. I have never been so amused in my life. To be fair, the guy it totally taking my mockery in stride and giving me a bit of it back. This is just way too funny.

Also, some guy kept trying to get my attention tonight (I borrowed a dress from a much shorter friend, so I wasn't quite as covered as usual, haha), and finally shouted, "Hey you! In the purple! Yeah, the one with the big butt!"

"Did you just tell me I have a big @$$?"

"Yeah!" *makes a curvy motion with his hands* "I like it!"

"You know what I think? I think you need to go f*** off, is what I think."



I shouldn't be allowed in public when I drink. I get mouthy.

 

[GamerGirl]

princess - you are my hero - yet again you have an interesting story!! do you give private lessons? seriously, I think I'm going to need help on the off chance that these types of scenarios ever happen to me!


soooo - cute guy at work just friended me on facebook. trying to decide if I ignore or friend back.

 

[princesss]

Friend back, friend back!


Gah, you don't want lessons on how to have such a ridiculous life! I am a serious magnet for ridiculous situations, and mostly I just tell people what I'm thinking. I just happen to be kind of snarky and sarcastic, with just a touch of confrontational b**** thrown in for good measure. I will say it's HIGHLY entertaining, though - especially for the people around me. A guy came up to me last night after I told the obnoxious guy where to shove it, and said, "Look, I may be an a**hole, but that was hilarious!" At least my life makes me laugh, right?

Also, I finally realized what Butterball (the guy who got my number) reminds me of. We're like Pepe Le Pew and the cat. He tries and tries and is unfailingly confident every time that THIS TIME he's figured it out (though half the time he doesn't remember that he's met me), and I just escape mildly to completely annoyed every time. On the phone last night I told him, "Sweetheart, no. You're not coming over to my house. If you want to get in my pants, you're going to have to work a LOT harder than this." My mom said she can't tell if he's really stupid or the smartest guy ever - and honestly, neither can I. But I'm amused and vaguely intrigued (not enough to let him accomplish his goal, but enough to keep from blowing him off completely).