Single Ladies Small Talk

[Hudson_Hawk]

::sticks toe in water and whispers:: "hello? Anybody in here? Can I play with you guys? I'm old and married and a mom but I promise I won't talk about my kid or my husband..."


Ink, you're a fab writer!

 

[princesss]

Hey BEG!

HH, no. You cannot come in here. Not allowed! (Kidding. Of course you're welcome!)

GG, any word from the ex? I'm sorry he's being a butt. How is horse sitting? (Are you really horse sitting? Or did you mean to type house sitting? Horse sitting sounds like more fun.)

 

[GamerGirl]

yep - HORSE sitting. it is fun, but exhausting. Seriously how do people do this every day and still go to work??

moving this weekend - i'm excited and absolutely not prepared for it. Fri and Sat are going to be busy, busy prep days and then hopefully Sunday will get everything done.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Hey ladies!

So I don't even know where to begin.

I LOVE CA!!!!!!!!!! I love my neighborhood, the weather, the cities, nature, all of it. I don't ever want to leave.

I have mixed feelings about my program. Overall, I really really like my classmates, my cohort, I've had an amazing summer school student teaching experience. I'm a bit ambivalent on the courses. I think they're all really valuable in getting me to think and helping me figure out who I am as a teacher. I do not like how some of the courses are administered. I feel like unlike law school, where we were treated as grown-ups for better or worse, here, many elements of the program tend to be a bit infantilizing. And coming from law school, and being 25, and knowing exactly who I am, what I want, how I teach, I resent that quite a bit. But what can ya do? Well, for me, I challenge things. I used to be SUCH a good model student. Now, if something seems off or unsatisfactory, I will totally call the teachers/professors on it. Hey, I get to get away with that because everyone knows I have a law background - it's like expected of me

I've just been really busy. While I was student teaching, I was at school from 7:45-12:45, then at my own classes from 3-6. I'm trying to stay on a consistent exercise schedule so I usually wouldn't get home until 9 or 10, and then I was socializing on weekends and stuff. Because I live off campus and most people live on campus I went all out in socializing because, well, bonding is important. Now I get to relax a bit.

Our program is super small, like 90 people, with about 75 women, 15 men. I really haven't met that many people outside my program - I did meet some other grad students who are around this summer.

There are a couple cute guys I've met who are friends of my friends in the program. Also met someone else who is super cute but I'm keeping quiet about that for now because I don't know if anything will happen.

Right now I'm on a bit of a break where I have classes but not teaching for another week or so. I am SO excited to start my year-round placement. I'll be teaching 9th and 11th graders and I get to take over one of the classes sometime in Jan. for independent teaching - how scary and awesome is that at the same time??

I've also been super super fortunate to be able to spend some time with the awesome Claritek and StarSparkle, and I'm excited to meet up with IndyLady later this year when she comes down to this area.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

B.E.G. my SIL is a tenured teacher at a private K-12 school in Berkley. If you ever need another ST placement or when you're looking for a permanent job let me know and I'll put you in touch with her. The school is fab, she's been there for 10 years or so and is tenured (teaches second grade).

 

[princesss]

So, I got ballsy and asked TCG out for a drink yesterday. We said we'd go out tonight and grab a drink as long as his day today wasn't as horrible as yesterday was. Well, considering it's 9 and I'm on PS and he hasn't said a thing to me all day, I'm guessing his day was bad. I'm trying really hard not to take this personally, but it's not working.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

 

[Amys Bling]

So, I got ballsy and asked TCG out for a drink yesterday. We said we'd go out tonight and grab a drink as long as his day today wasn't as horrible as yesterday was. Well, considering it's 9 and I'm on PS and he hasn't said a thing to me all day, I'm guessing his day was bad. I'm trying really hard not to take this personally, but it's not working.

Always tomorrow.

 

[aranderson5]

Hello. I just joined. My friend at work is really into PS and talks about how great it is so I decided to bite the bullet and join. I am already looking at 3 different stones to purchase. Anyways, just thought I would say hi!

 

[princesss]

Hi, A! Welcome to PS and to the SLST thread. Glad you're here.

Oh! Ladies! TCG updated.

Soooooo I was at my friend's reception/party/shindig on Saturday, and ended up leaving my phone in the apartment because I thought, "There is nobody who needs to talk to me more than I need to enjoy myself at this shindig!" So after we cleaned up at the end of the night and piled everything into her car, I checked my phone and TCG had texted me to ask how DC was! Not only that, but he texted me from the football game he was at, so, you know - he was thinking about me while doing something fun. Which makes me all kinds of happy.

So then we chatted a bit over IM yesterday and he gave himself the perfect opening to ask me out and then didn't take it. Gah. I want to beat him with a stick! But my source tells me that he's verrrrrrrrry slow to make a move, and that in the past when he's liked a girl it's taken him a really long time to work up the courage to ask her out. So here's where I'm at with this - I like talking to him, I like seeing him, I hope he asks me out. But I'm not going to sit around and wait, so if somebody else asks me out, I'm going!

Also, not sure if you ladies saw my other thread, but my ex's dad is really not doing well, so Sunday I went down to their house to see him. It was good to see him, but the other night I realized I didn't say "I love you" and I *freaked*. So M and I talked last night, and he said he'd told his parents I wanted to be sure they know I love them, and he said the first thing they said was, "Of course we know she loves us!" Oh, thank goodness.

So yeah. That's life. BEG, I'm glad that you're enjoying CA. GG, are you done horse sitting yet? How's the apartment coming along?

 

[aranderson5]

OMG, I am so excited. I just made my first stone purchase. I cannot wait to get it set and show it off.

 

[princesss]

Helloooooooooooooo in here.

Updates? How is the apartment decorating going?


I've been chatting with TCG, and we're maybe having drinks this week. I'll believe it when I see it...I'd say I'm not getting my hopes up, but they're waaaaaaaay the heck up there.

 

[GamerGirl]

Soooo- I LOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEEE my new apartment. Of course, it is still awesome weather here so when the snow storms start to hit (and OH will they especially with that wonderful lake effect!) I'm sure I'll be whining about it - but right now it is perfect. PERFECT. ok - a little noisy and I'm thinking that my dryer is hooked up illegally but other than that - perfect.
Some decorating has taken place. I got a dark wood bedroom set and this http://www.westelm.com/products/organic-ironwork-duvet-shams-b675/?pkey=call-bedding

good luck with TCG!!

i've been browsing on the site -but not really that actively posting - not to mention it took me forever to get my computer and internet all hooked up at the new place.

hope everyone else is doing good! Aren't we due another chapter in Ink's story???

 

[princesss]

That's a gorgeous duvet! I freaking love my duvet from West Elm. So pretty! (I have the pin tuck duvet in "natural".)

Okay, so, TCG. He's a little hard to read, but I guess that keeps things interesting. He's gotten much more flirty lately, and we're trying to have drinks again this week. He texted me Friday night (at freaking 1:45 AM!), and will usually IM me every day and chat. I have gotten some of his background, and he's very very shy and it normally takes him a LONG time to approach a girl (last time he liked a girl it took him a year. A YEAR. And he liked her the whoooooooooooooole time).

Anyways, he came out to watch the end of my softball game on Thursday. I was sooooo nervous, and was totally convinced I was going to biff it, but I got a solid hit and made it to 3rd before the inning was over. Not too shabby. But of course, I was wearing the world's most obnoxious shorts - not something I would have worn if I'd known TCG was going to show up! Oh well, it was bound to happen eventually. I just love obnoxiously coloured workout clothes.

Haven't heard from him so far this week, but Mondays he's usually pretty quiet. I guess we'll see after lunch if he's going to be chatty today. And if not....well, I'm in a bit of a chatty mood.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Ladies hi!!!

GG - so excited for you and your new apt.! It is SO nice to come home to your own place isn't it? I have to say though, despite all my agonizing over the living room furniture, I rarely actually use it! I'm usually at my dining table on my computer, sleeping, or not at home. Meh.

Princesss - you know how I feel about TCG. And if you need clarification:

Ladies (minus Princesss as she already knows) - I've ventured into the world of online dating. It is INTERESTING. That said, I'm actually meeting cute guys IRL - they're just not my type or lack some serious social skills. Went on a date with a Match guy a few weeks ago. He was really nice but there was zero chemistry in person (we had exchanged messages/e-mails for a couple weeks prior to meeting up).

I just bailed on a meet up with a guy who is cute but really not my type. 1) Vegan. 2) Way too idealistic. 3) Way too nice (no bad boy complex but I usually feel like a terrible person around too nice people, lol).

Another guy just suggested meeting up for dinner, and I have a potential meet up with another guy. That said, I've been wading through a lot of creepsters/guys who aren't my type/guys with delusions of grandeur/did I mention creepsters?


In other news, I started student teaching at my year-round placement a month ago and I LOVE it. So so so much. My supervising teacher is fantastic, my students ROCK. Seriously, my students are so amazing. The school is great, so is the department I'm in, and I couldn't be happier with my placement.

What's going on in everyone else's lives????

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

B.E.G. my SIL is a tenured teacher at a private K-12 school in Berkley. If you ever need another ST placement or when you're looking for a permanent job let me know and I'll put you in touch with her. The school is fab, she's been there for 10 years or so and is tenured (teaches second grade).

HH - thanks so much! Sorry, didn't see this earlier. I won't be looking until spring, mostly because I think most schools won't know their hiring needs until then, but we will for sure talk more. THANKS!

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Halloooooo! Anyone out there?

Princesss - I hope you're having an amazing time in NZ! I am so jealous right now.

So quick update on BEG's dating life. I've had three dates with three guys so far. So far, I'm 3 for 3 on really nice, genuine guys, and 0 for 3 on sparks really.

Guy #1: He is really photogenic. To the point where he actually definitely falls a little short IRL (even though he's still cute). He just looks older. He's a data analyst for a major company. We went out for drinks on a weeknight and I honestly do not remember this date at all. I was so tired and sleep-deprived that night. I went home, called my BFF and said, "Um, I don't remember the date that just happened." Needless to say, no sparks. Also, I don't think I'm his type. He goes for Asian women but after doing a FB stalk, he goes for the super dolled-up, dressed to the dimes Asian women ... not me so much. I hang out in shorts or jeans and T-shirts.

Guy #2: Met him last week. He's an engineer. I could tell. Also really nice. He brought his dog on our date which was kind of weird but his dog is super cute so I let it slide. A couple things. During the date, he mentioned bringing another girl to the same restaurant for a date once and made a comment about how he wasn't sure she could even read... that was weird. He also asked me out on a second date while we were on the first (not just a "we should do this again" sometime but a "what are you doing this weekend, let's grab dinner on Sunday or Monday" kind of thing). On the other hand, he was cute and bought me flowers from a passing flower vendor. He texted me when I got home. He e-mailed me after that. He texted me on Sat. to see if I wanted to do something on Sun. I texted him on Sun and he asked me to dinner on Mon. I rainchecked. He texted me yesterday, 20 min before my date with Guy #3 asking if I wanted to get dinner this week. I wrote him an e-mail just now saying that I wasn't feeling what I needed to feel to move forward. He thanked me for being up front, we're good. It's done.

Guy #3: Date last night. He was cute and sweet, definitely a bit dorky. We're in the same profession and like myself, he's a career changer so we had a lot to talk about. He opened the car door for me every time (and all other doors too) which I thought was cute. We had dinner and went for dessert, and went back to his place and watched a movie. I ended up spending the night but.... without giving too much away here, the activities of last night were not the greatest and I was a little weirded out by one thing and that's kind of ruined it for me. Done.

So.... yeah. There's another couple guys from OkC that I've decided not to meet up with for various reasons (one is super idealistic and vegan and thus not for me, the other really does not fit my physical type though he's cute), and one that I do want to meet up with soon but we haven't been able to figure a time out yet.

But this is definitely interesting.

Update me on your lives guys!

 

[princesss]

OH HAI, ladies! Long time no talk.

So, I'm back from NZ (okay, I've been back for over a month!) with a TON of pictures (there's a thread floating around here somewhere), some new art, and a really cute new boyfriend.



So, obviously, meeting a guy on vacation is not something I expected. I mean, I wanted to meet people, definitely, but finding a boyfriend just seemed...absurd. J and I met a LOT of guys (including part of the Finnish national rugby team!), and ended up exchanging information with a few of them (including a very attractive Frenchman we ended up nicknaming Napoleon for reasons that should be fairly obvious). I was still somewhat hung up on TCG, but was slowly moving on and enjoying myself.

Enter C.

So one morning, J and I were killing time before we went skydiving. I think I mentioned that before we went, we agreed on our list of non-negotiables and booked those? Skydiving was on the list. I didn't say anything about it because my mom reads this thread (Hi, Mama!) and I didn't want her to freak out too much and getting all anxious before it happened. So anyways, we're wandering around Taupo, looking in art galleries and hunting down ATMs, when we realize it's past noon and we haven't eaten. More importantly, we hadn't had our coffee! So we found this cute little cafe and got coffee and sandwiches. We found a table outside and relaxed in that way that you can only relax when you think you might possibly die. The sandwich was rich. The coffee was delicious. The weather was perfect, except it was actually grey and raining a little bit. Life was beautiful and possibly very short. Time would tell.

So we sat and enjoyed our coffee, and I started people watching. And by people watching, I mean watching this poor, very confused guy in the cafe. He was stepping in and out of the cafe like a lost little puppy, in and out and in and out, before he finally sat down at the table across from us. He was tall and cute and wearing a rugby jersey (which made him even cuter in my eyes). He ended up talking with 2 British guys at the table across from him (so they were seated diagonally from us), and it came out that he was Welsh, and they were all joking around about the fact that holy cow - Wales made it to the semi-finals! They were talking and talking and at some point J and I gave up trying to pretend we weren't listening to their conversation and followed it like a tennis match. We had both finished our coffee, and the cafe was getting crowded, but I knew I wanted to talk to the cute guy in rugby jersey, so I feigned thirst and went and bought a pot of tea.

Luckily for me, it worked! Not long after I poured a cup, he started chatting with us. We talked a bit, and he asked if he could come sit with us. We said yes and before we had finished the word, he was up and already sitting down with us. We stayed and chatted for about an hour, and I don't think we stopped laughing the entire time. He was absolutely hilarious, cute, and so incredibly nice. It was kind of unbelievable. He was paying equal attention to us (actually, I kind of thought he was flirting with J!), and when he found out we were skydiving that day, he said we should get together that night so we could tell him all about it. He walked us back to our hostel, and J went up to get the reservation for skydiving, and the cute Welsh guy, C, asked where to meet us that night.

"Ummm...here?"
"Okay. Here. What time? I'm thinking you girls will probably want to clean up after skydiving."
"I don't know...7? 8?"
"Okay, 7. So I'll meet you back here at 7."
"Okay."
"Great, see you then. Now, give me a hug and tell your friend I say bye."

So I hugged him and off he went. We went skydiving (which was terrifying and exhilirating and oh-so-much fun), came back, got cleaned up, and decided to head over to a restaurant really quickly before we met up with him. While walking to the restaurant, we ended up running into C, who was off to the pub to "sneak in a cheeky pint" before meeting up with us. Now, really quickly, if somebody could explain to me the fascination that guys in England have with horrific amounts of cologne, I'd really appreciate it. It was the same way with the soccer team - getting near these guys was like wading through the purfume section of a cheap department store. Blech.

Anyways, he told us he'd met some other Welsh boys, and to meet them at the pub once we finished dinner. So we ate and headed over. C hugged us, bought us beer, and we all stood and talked for a little bit. He introduced us to the other guys, walked around the pool table we were congregating near, grabbed a bar stool, brought it back, set it next to me, and sat down. "So, you said your family has moved around a lot. Where have you lived?"

I'm not kidding, I have never had a guy focus on me that much in my life. I told J afterwards that up until that point, I wasn't sure if he was hitting on one of us, both of us, or neither of us. She said she didn't know, either, but that at that point it was VERY clear that he was interested in me. We talked the entire night - seriously. He would take breaks to joke around with the guys, or to make sure J was enjoying herself, but then would come back and stand next to me and talk to me. (There's actually a video where you can see this - the boys were singing (because that's apparently what Welsh boys do), and he joins in for the chorus and then comes over and sits down and starts talking to me while they keep singing.) I got *maybe* three hours of sleep that night - we just talked and talked and talked. I opened up to him, which is something I just. do. not. do. I have walls up - big ones. Very, very tall walls. But with him, they don't exist. And that's terrifying. Especially when I'd just met him!

So we went off our separate ways, and never thought we'd hear from each other again. On a whim, I added him on FB (he'd given me alllllll of his contact info at the pub, and even labeled it for me - "Amazing Welsh Boy"), not thinking I'd hear from him. He responded almost instantly, and wrote on my wall (ah, modern romance...).

He messaged me and I replied, and at one point I replied and woke him up (I was back in the States at this point and he was in NZ) and he stayed up and chatted with me for an hour. I told J about this (having already freaked out to her about wanting to hear from him and being scared I wouldn't), and she rolled her eyes at me and said, "Yeah. He's DEFINITELY not interested."

Since then, honestly...there have been maybe 5 days that we haven't talked. I knew I wanted to keep in touch with him, and actually went out and bought a freaking iPhone so that I'd be able to FB chat with him without having to be stuck at my computer (this after 3 epic 6 hour chats in a row). FaceTime has been amazing - video chatting makes things so much easier! I love being able to see his face and hear his voice and be completely silly with him. He asked me out a week or two ago (which was all kinds of middle school and adorable), and we made things FB offical last week (mostly because I really wanted to make things super, totally, completely official and partly because there were a few guys that needed to get the point that nothing was ever going to happen between me and them), and I'm just really REALLY freaking happy. So now we've got to figure out visits, and I'm going nuts not knowing when I'm going to see him again. Gah. So I've got to find a way to get over there and he needs to find a way to get over here and we'll see where things go from there. But I thought I'd fill you guys in on this since it seems like there won't be any more awkward date stories from me. Well...except for the odd accidental date. I definitely went on one of those the day after C asked me out. Oops. But that's a whole different story...

 

[mary poppins]

That's awesome, princesss! Sounds like a great vacation and wonderful guy. I hope you and Amazing Welsh Boy can arrange a visit soon. In the meantime, video conferencing has done wonders for long distance relationships. So fun to be able to see each other even if you can't be together.

 

[audball]

SOOOOOO excited for your princesss!!!

 

[zoebartlett]

That's exciting, Princesss. I'm really happy for you! I know he's Welsh - does he live in Wales now or England, or ...? I hope you can figure out ways to see each other again soon.

 

[princesss]

Thanks, ladies! I'm super duper happy, haha. He's such a great guy, and so freaking interesting. And he's motivated! Oh holy goodness is he motivated. And ambitious. (Two things seriously lacking in...well, any other guy I've dated!) And all of the things that seemed to drive guys here away he seems to really love about me. It's just...crazy, haha.

Zoe, he lives in England right now.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I totally lurked on this thread while you ladies were posting and princesss, I was wondering how things were going for you. I'm curious how all of the ladies from this thread are doing, so I thought I'd bump it.

 

[princesss]

Hey, NEL! Thanks for thinking about me.

Things are going really, incredibly, slightly unbelievably well. C and I have been together for....9 months? Something like that. I went to England to visit him in March, and then I moved to Copenhagen for the summer and he came out here to visit me a few weeks ago.

We actually had a pretty funny moment when I went to go visit him - when I came out of the baggage area, he was nowhere to be found! And it's not like he got lost in the crowd and I just couldn't find him. There wasn't a single person in the waiting area, and I stood there with my massive red suitcase, completely exhausted and thinking, "Did I miss something? Did I need to take a cab? Did we say that? Is he outside smoking? I didn't think he smoked. I don't want to date a smoker. Oh, I hope he's not smoking. Hmmm. Oh, there's a cute guy near Starbucks. That's nice. So I guess I should get a cab. But I need to find an ATM. Cute boy is walking this way, fun! Wish I knew where C was. I should find an - holy cow, cute boy IS MY BOYFRIEND!!" Then he was sick the whole time I was there - okay, not the whole time. He felt better my last full day there, which is of course when I got horribly sick and couldn't keep food down and was running a crazy fever. (Strep throat is no joke, y'all.)

And, of course, me being an overanalyzer extraordinaire, I worried basically the entire month leading up to the trip about whether or not we'd actually like each other after 10 days together. I stressed. And I fretted. And I stresssed. And I fretted. And he was the most calm, confident person - he says that since our first really long conversation, he's been very confident in us and in how he feels and the fact that this will work. 9 months later, I'm finally at that point, too. My dad asked me the other day how things were going, and how I felt about him. I said something to the effect of I'm willing to be less cautious with him. With my ex, I had to think everything through, all the time. There wasn't a decision we made that was ever based just on my gut. With C, I still think things through, but I've got this gut feeling about us, and I trust that. So all the thinking is done with that as a factor, rather than spending ages trying to prove to myself that what I feel is empirically correct. (Which, funnily enough, my ex says he's really proud of me for. He says I spent so much time fighting my gut that it's a relief to see me trust my own judgement.)

He'd told me to decide where I was going to be for the next few years and he'd find a way to move to me - he has a shitty job that he hates and said if he was going to work a shitty job, he could do that near me. Well! Friday he accepted a job in his field that he is suuuuuuuuper excited about, so he's waiting on a firm start date and turning in his notice. At the same time, I have been kind of quietly revising my CV, because being around somebody so motivated has actually kicked my butt into gear and gotten me motivated to find a way to do what I love. So I will be applying to new places in Europe/the UK. I absolutely do not want to have an ocean between us anymore. So I'm throwing caution to the wind as much as I am able - I won't just quit and move there, but the instant I find a job? I'm leaving the States and not looking back. (That's partly because of him and partly because, having grown up outside of the States, I feel much more at home here than I have in the past 8 years back there.) So I have no idea how long this will take, but I'm really excited about the path my life has taken since I met C.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks for bumping this, NEL. I wonder how BEG's doing.

Princesss - I'm SO HAPPY for you! You're one step closer to living your dream. Yay!

 

[princesss]

Thanks, Zoe! He's apparently been talking to his friends trying to find a job for me there. I found this out last night - he was saying, "Well, J's mate used to edit a magazine here, so I'm talking to him to see if he knows anybody..." It was like, wait...what?

I know BEG is doing well - just graduated from school and has some exciting stuff going on - I'll tell her to pop in!

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

We have really let this thread die! (my fault too I know!)

Quick recap: graduated from my Masters program and I'm a full-fledged teacher, and loving my work. Still in CA, and also no longer a single lady, as I've been in a relationship for a couple of months now

So how is everyone else??