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Single Ladies Small Talk

Brown.Eyed.Girl

Brown.Eyed.Girl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 4, 2008
Messages
6,893
Spinning off of my FB/break-up thread, and per IndyLady's suggestion, maybe it'd be a good idea to have a thread for those who are currently single, to chat, commiserate, encourage and support one another. Even though PS is mostly married or engaged or about to be engaged women and men, I'm sure there are quite a few out there who are going through a transition phase like I am! What do you think? I hope Hangout is the right place to post this - LIW just didn't seem to fit :lol:
 
Bump, anyone out there? :)
 
I'm single B.E.G.! It's just I really enjoy being single at the moment and I'm not getting over a breakup, nor am I on the lookout for anyone, so I don't know if I'll be any good for commiseration, support and encouragement. But I'm good for chats! ;))
 
Chatting is good! What are you up to lately Porridge? I'm in pain from zumba (but good pain), and slowly writing my novel for National Novel Writing Month, and applying to judicial clerkships that begin in 2011. I'm still waiting on a recommendation letter though, and the professor has been AWOL for 3 weeks now. I'm feeling very, very stressed about it.
 
*waves hand high in the air*

me! me!

haha... Somewhat recently single. Been a couple months now. Had my rebound and "I need to date" time. Now I'm kind of working on me. There is this guy one guy though... he's a complicated story and I'm not sure if I want to get into anything complicated. Makes me smile though. :D
 
MissPrudential said:
*waves hand high in the air*

me! me!

haha... Somewhat recently single. Been a couple months now. Had my rebound and "I need to date" time. Now I'm kind of working on me. There is this guy one guy though... he's a complicated story and I'm not sure if I want to get into anything complicated. Makes me smile though. :D
Click to expand...

Details! MissPrudential, am I remembering right that you're a lawyer or recent law grad? I'm not sure if I'm making that up in my mind :P

I'm in the "I need to date" time for sure :)

So details about this one guy? :)
 
Yay!!

I'm so happy to see this thread.

BEG-- Do you have any back-up professors in mind? I'm actually applying to law schools as we speak. Thankfully, they're going fairly fast since I've already gone through the process once, but I'm thinking of changing up my personal statement. I always feel so awkward writing those.
 
Ooh I hate those personal statements! How do people write them without sounding like complete eejits?? They're awful. I'm writing some too at the moment, I am thinking of applying for my masters next year. I needed two years work experience before I could apply for the one I want to do, so that's where I am now, working and trying to make my application look good!

Zumba sounds so fun, I might try to find a class around here. The weather is too bad now for outdoor sports and the gym can get a bit repetitive.

I'm off to Belfast for the weekend with the girls! One of them just moved up for her masters. I also have a new little cousin that I'm going to visit on the way up, so it's going to be a good weekend. I'm also pampering myself today - I've booked a facial for after work. I think it might be the second time I've ever gotten one! I'm sooo looking forward to it.

BEG I'm riveted to your sexyvet thread! Go get em tiger!
 
B.E.G.|1288843207| said:
Details! MissPrudential, am I remembering right that you're a lawyer or recent law grad? I'm not sure if I'm making that up in my mind :P

I'm in the "I need to date" time for sure :)

So details about this one guy? :)
Click to expand...

Lawyer? Close!... I'm a PhD student in the "bang your head against the wall" and write dissertation mode.

The guy is a fellow PhD, my age(mid twenties), but with children-- and sole caretaker. Mother has no custody or presence. Very accomplished, brilliant, adorable... but with children.

Tough one, eh?
 
I'm single! I'm not looking to date at all, though, so I might not be much fun. I like hanging out with guys and meeting them and flirting and all, but I'm not in the mood for a relationship. After 5.5 years, I think I need a break!
 
I guess I kindof fit here. I'm technically single, though I still am talking with SO and seeing if we can perhaps figure out where our problems were and hopefully at some point move past them, but I live at my grandparents right now, and am really taking some time to focus on me, and do things of my own, and really take time with my friends. I'm also trying to make new friends and I'm riding a lot more.
 
Indy - I'm waiting to hear back from my back-up professor (which is also stressful since I haven't heard. I think I'll try her gmail account). I have one other back-up but I don't think the letter will be quite as good as the first two. Unfortunately, unless they're wiling to give me a general letter to send out to applications (which I really hope they do) I won't know what's in any of the letters, so if I suddenly get responses from all of them I have no idea which letters to send on :P

Good luck with applying! What's your shortlist of schools? Ugh, the personal statement. I worked with an admissions consultant on mine. It did help a lot, but it wasn't fun. I think I went through 7 drafts or so total.

If you need a proof-reader, let me know! You can find me on FB via the PS group, if you need to.

Porridge - Ooh which masters program? I always feel so self-conscious and braggy in a personal statement. I mean, I know it's supposed to be braggy in a way, right? But it's still not fun! I LOVE zumba. My favorite instructor is teaching at noon which is why I'm going in today. So much better than just doing elliptical - it's a great workout . And yay, I love girls weekends! My two BFFs and I are trying to plan a Vegas weekend sometime in Jan. It's been so long since we've spent any serious amount of time hanging out, since we all went to different colleges, etc. I really hope the trip happens!

MissPrudential - oops, sorry for the mix-up! What field are you doing your PhD in? Can I say I'm jealous? I really wanted to be a PhD rather than a JD! Unfortunately, I would've done mine in English Lit, and it's so hard to get a job (of course, who knew the economy would die during my three years in law school, making law also an unreliable field to get a job in? :P). Btw, ooh fellow PhD - hot! (ok, YES, I had crushes on a professor, and a hot TA, during college - the academic type is HOT). But oh goodness - children. How many? Is he interested? How do you feel about it?

Princesss - Hey girl! Oh wow, I didn't realize you and the ex were together than long! Yes, you need a break and you need lots and lots of fun and dating and happiness! :)

Dragonfly - I think it's good that you're taking some time to yourself. I didn't realize how much I needed it for me until recently. I really hope you work things out (or not) so that what results is the best for you.

-------

And um...apparently ex has noticed I'm detagging/removing pics and sent me a FB message. Ugh.
 
Good news - one of my professors (my #1 back-up) just got back to me when I e-mailed her personal account and said she'll write the letter! Yay!

Bad news - I scraped the front fender of my mom's old car on the way out the garage and now there is a brown paint streak on the white fender. I'm afraid she's going to kill me. She's in a particularly terrible mood today too.
 
Single girl here! I'm not looking to date right now because I need to work on some personal things but I am glad you made this thread! It is nice to see other single people on here! I've been consumed by grad school for the past few years and I'm just finishing up so I'm ready to get out and be in the real world! How much longer do you girls have in school?
 
No time left in school....for now. I'm looking at getting my masters, so pretty soon I'll be starting the GMAT/GRE studying and the program selection. Not 100% sure I'm going to do it (the idea of that much debt is, frankly, compeltely terrifying), but I want to keep my options open.
 
sparklyheart|1288901789| said:
Single girl here! I'm not looking to date right now because I need to work on some personal things but I am glad you made this thread! It is nice to see other single people on here! I've been consumed by grad school for the past few years and I'm just finishing up so I'm ready to get out and be in the real world! How much longer do you girls have in school?
Click to expand...

Hi Sparklyheart, and welcome! Yay, that's fantastic that your'e about to finish grad school! We have quite a few grad school/law school girls on here - I am super proud of us educated, modern, single and fabulous women! :) What program are you in?

I just graduated from law school in June, and I'm doing some legal volunteer work back in my hometown while I look for a job.
 
princesss|1288902137| said:
No time left in school....for now. I'm looking at getting my masters, so pretty soon I'll be starting the GMAT/GRE studying and the program selection. Not 100% sure I'm going to do it (the idea of that much debt is, frankly, compeltely terrifying), but I want to keep my options open.
Click to expand...

Debt = bad. Bad bad bad. Are you thinking an MBA? (I ask because you mentioned the GMAT). I was considering applying to MBA programs but then I took a look at the math section in a GMAT prep book and nearly died (I haven't had to do math in SO long).
 
Update on the guy situation here!
 
Princesss-I agree, the debt thing is bad! Luckily (?) I only have grad school debt but I'm not looking forward to paying it back. Good luck getting ready for grad school. What do you want to go back for?

BEG- I am doing a pediatric nurse practitioner program. Good luck on the job search.. It is a rough world out there right now. I have a couple friends who graduated law school in May and can't find jobs.. It's so sad.. I was fortunate to get a job but many of my class mates have not found anything yet. Everyone always says there are so many jobs in healthcare but there are also so many experienced people out there so it makes it hard! On the single side of things.. All of my new coworkers are married.. ugh! It's frustrating sometimes because I'm the youngest and single so I feel a little out of place at times.. They are totally cool about everything but it's still hard! At least there are cute residents every once in awhile :bigsmile:
 
sparklyheart|1288914528| said:
Princesss-I agree, the debt thing is bad! Luckily (?) I only have grad school debt but I'm not looking forward to paying it back. Good luck getting ready for grad school. What do you want to go back for?

BEG- I am doing a pediatric nurse practitioner program. Good luck on the job search.. It is a rough world out there right now. I have a couple friends who graduated law school in May and can't find jobs.. It's so sad.. I was fortunate to get a job but many of my class mates have not found anything yet. Everyone always says there are so many jobs in healthcare but there are also so many experienced people out there so it makes it hard! On the single side of things.. All of my new coworkers are married.. ugh! It's frustrating sometimes because I'm the youngest and single so I feel a little out of place at times.. They are totally cool about everything but it's still hard! At least there are cute residents every once in awhile :bigsmile:
Click to expand...

Thanks Sparkly! It is tough and I'm afraid the market really won't bounce back. There are soooo many lawyers out there, looking for work, and so many far more experienced lawyers. Ugh. Oh well, I just tell myself - it doesn't matter if I get rejected from dozens of jobs - just need one right? :P

But cute residents! I like!

I swear, everyone is engaged or married around me. My best friend from middle school just got engaged!
 
Soooooo...maybe I spoke too soon about being boring and not having anything to contribute. I got a text from the guy I met on Saturday asking me out for lunch this weekend! It's so funny, because literally as he was texting me I was telling my dad how nice it was not to be dating or worrying about dating. (But I'd left my phone at home so I didn't realize this at the time.) So I'm having lunch with this guy on Sunday. I'm not looking for anything serious, but he was cute and funny, so if he's okay with keeping things SUUUUPER casual, this could be fun.
 
princesss|1288966728|2755748 said:
Soooooo...maybe I spoke too soon about being boring and not having anything to contribute. I got a text from the guy I met on Saturday asking me out for lunch this weekend! It's so funny, because literally as he was texting me I was telling my dad how nice it was not to be dating or worrying about dating. (But I'd left my phone at home so I didn't realize this at the time.) So I'm having lunch with this guy on Sunday. I'm not looking for anything serious, but he was cute and funny, so if he's okay with keeping things SUUUUPER casual, this could be fun.
Click to expand...

Yaaaay! :appl: As long as you're both on the same page about being casual, it could be great fun!
 
B.E.G.|1288889402|2754944 said:
Indy

MissPrudential - oops, sorry for the mix-up! What field are you doing your PhD in? Can I say I'm jealous? I really wanted to be a PhD rather than a JD! Unfortunately, I would've done mine in English Lit, and it's so hard to get a job (of course, who knew the economy would die during my three years in law school, making law also an unreliable field to get a job in? :P). Btw, ooh fellow PhD - hot! (ok, YES, I had crushes on a professor, and a hot TA, during college - the academic type is HOT). But oh goodness - children. How many? Is he interested? How do you feel about it?
Click to expand...

Don't be too jealous-- the job market isn't that great for my field. Engineers, once able to find jobs quite easily, are now having to search a bit and wait it out. I know lots of lawyers in the same position... thought it'd be a ticket to a secure future and now that they've graduated they're bouncing around at jobs and that is even if they can find a job. Best of luck!

And I think he's interested in exploring things...I'm unsure how I feel about it. The kids(2) are young but not babies. Dating with children in the picture is a totally unknown concept for me. I'm not sure what the protocols are at all. I don't *think* I'm opposed but we'll just see what happens. Like I said before, I'm kind of focusing on me at the moment.



So with all these smart ladies in the house, how do you feel about dating men with much less education?... I think I have a complex about it. I am a strong, educated woman, blah blah blah but I think I still kind of like for a guy to be the breadwinner, protector, etc. Just the old fashion part of me I guess. And I like competition too. This generally means the ideal guy is highly educated, well traveled, and fairly cultured. Hard bill to fill. I think I shun the "nice normal guy" too often. I need to work on this. :| I just don't know how.
 
Missprudential - I have no problem dating a guy with less education. It doesn't mean that he isn't smart, or that he isn't going to be a good breadwinner. It may just mean that he is pursuing something totally not related to further education. Why waste the money? If he's going into mechanic work, lawn business, any kind of manual labor he isn't necessarily going to NEED further education and he probably will still make the same or more. So no, it doesn't bother me one bit. Many times these guys are really smart, and really street savvy too.


So coming up for me: Painting, working on Nanowrimo, finishing some reading, hunting season is open so practicing shooting and actually hunting, and I am going to start visiting local farmers to get a feel for how things are done around here when it comes to crops, land rotation, cattle raising etc. I'm going to be visiting a grass fed beef farm not too long from now that also raises turkeys, goats, hogs, and their own vegetables. This should be fun and helpful for my schooling.
 
Miss Pru, I won't date a guy that's less educated than I am. I'm sure that makes me a horrible snob, but oh well. I want a guy that's at least got equal earning potential and a white collar job. I have a lot I want in life, and I want a guy with similar values. That includes higher education and a job that pays well enough to travel (rather extensively). I realize you can make quite good money in blue collar jobs (a friend of mine digs tunnels and makes 6 figures), but it's just not the kind of life I want to lead. If that makes me a terrible person, oh well.
 
Princess - It doesn't make you a bad person at all. If folks didn't have their own standards then there might be less of each spectrum for me and you to stare at. ;))
 
Princesss - yay for lunch date! I want to know how it goes!!!

MissPrudential - Yeah, if only we had a magic ball or something to tell us that the economy was going to go bust and getting jobs was going to be tortuous. As for the guy - that's tough. I don't really have any advice other than to say - do what's best for you! I hope whatever happens, it's the best result!

As for dating a less-educated guy...um... I don't know. Ok, yes I do know. My minimum is he HAS to be college-educated. That's non-negotiable. Beyond that - he doesn't have to have an advanced degree. If he's smart, successful, etc. I don't care. But he has to be smart enough that we can talk about a variety of things (I mean, I love watching Jeopardy for heaven's sake). Lack of conversational compatibility is a deal-breaker for me :P

I do know - no more lawyers. I do not want to date any more lawyers. Any other graduate degree - cool. No more JDs!

As for me right now, I'm taking stock of my future options. Namely, I really HATE the law. My dream, as I've mentioned before, was to get a PhD in English. Well, I'm going to apply and see what happens. Thankfully I've been in occasional touch with my favorite college profs since I graduated, I'm hoping they'll write me fantastic recommendations (they were also my law school recommenders), and I need to prune and edit my senior thesis for my writing sample, and write my statement of purpose. Oh and I'm taking the GRE next week. Big changes!

And since PhD programs, especially for English and especially at the top tier schools, are phenomenally hard to get into, I'm hedging my bets a bit and applying to a few Master of Education programs too.
 
Bump - anyone around?
 
As for dating guys with less education... I've noticed it is more of a problem for them than me. All of my friends and family are college graduates and everytime I have dated a guy who didn't go to college, HE was the one that brought it up. One of my exes used it against me if I ever said anything stupid.. He would be like "oh aren't you glad you bought that expensive diploma but don't know _____?" Yeah he's an idiot and out the door!! But it's definitely a strain! I think now I have higher standards than before. I don't want to be a sugar-mama! I don't mind if I make more than the guy but not if he's just out to spend everything I make. I know you can be very successful without going to college but I don't seem to find those guys! I find the ones who still live at home, have no job (related to their education level or lack of desire, NOT related to the awful economy) or who are working at whatever random unfulfilling job they can get.. I don't think it has so much to do with education as it does drive to succeed in life..
 
Oh my God, you guys. I had the best date yesterday. Great conversation, good food - this guy is so freaking interesting. We talked about everything - art, travel, politics, economics, NPR (I got in his car and Prarie Home Companion was playing!), pets...it was so. much. fun. He was a real gentleman, but also not afraid of having an opinion and disagreeing with me (politically we're pretty opposite, but we were able to talk about it without being combative or touchy, which is awesome). And he seemed to appreciate that I was the same way. All signs point to another date at some point (heck, he even said, "At some point we'll have an date doing x..." or "Eventually I want to hear you speak Spanish, but I get that you want a little while to practice..."). But he works long hours and we're both out of town next weekend, so I have no idea when I'll see him again. Hopefully he calls again...soon.
 
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