mausketeer
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2007
- Messages
- 380
Well the wedding is already off (can''t really go into WHY on here right now) but I am wondering about ONE specific thing that comes up now when we argue and I can''t seem to get a consensus on it from my girlfriends so I thought I''d throw it out there to your guys....... see what you think.
My boyfriend and I argue a LOT (yes, contributing to the wedding being off - LOL) and for the most part although I raise my voice during the arguments, I tend to TRY to stick to the topic at hand and not get really personal in it (it never gets out of hand into screaming matches, physical violence or ANYTHING like that. We are for the most part pretty civil to each other. I try very very hard to not say anything really mean to him that I will regret when the fight is over. Sometimes I get kind of sarcastic and snotty I admit but for the MOST part, I TRY to just say what is the ISSUE we are arguing about. I''m actually pretty good that way). Lately however during these arguments, HE has taken to calling me a four letter word that begins with the letter C and ends with the letter T. Now, I am no Girl Scout, believe me, and we are both potty mouths ANYWAYS but I DO not like this turn of events (it has happened about 4 or 5 times now) I always completely stop the argument and make it perfectly clear that this is UNACCEPTABLE to me and I do NOT like that he is calling me that. I would NEVER EVER say that to anyone in the heat of the moment no matter WHAT the fight was about and I find it absolutely disgusting that he thinks it''s okay that he can say that to ME. He just kind of shrugs and says something along the lines of "Well if you didn''t act like one....." etc. And afterwards he does NOT apologize for it either. I am REALLY disturbed by this and it actually directly contributed to my decision to call off the wedding (I''m not sure if this is overreacting on my part but I honestly kept thinking "my future HUSBAND thinks it''s okay to call me a C when we argue? That is SO not cool!").
When I talk to my friends about it they seem to be split 50/50 as to how bad this particular issue is. Half seem to think he''s just being a jerk and guys say stupid things when they''re mad and THEIR husbands have said crappy things to them that they regret too (ah, but did they APOLOGIZE afterwards? Yes, they did!). The other half say "WHY are you still with him?????"
Thoughts?
My boyfriend and I argue a LOT (yes, contributing to the wedding being off - LOL) and for the most part although I raise my voice during the arguments, I tend to TRY to stick to the topic at hand and not get really personal in it (it never gets out of hand into screaming matches, physical violence or ANYTHING like that. We are for the most part pretty civil to each other. I try very very hard to not say anything really mean to him that I will regret when the fight is over. Sometimes I get kind of sarcastic and snotty I admit but for the MOST part, I TRY to just say what is the ISSUE we are arguing about. I''m actually pretty good that way). Lately however during these arguments, HE has taken to calling me a four letter word that begins with the letter C and ends with the letter T. Now, I am no Girl Scout, believe me, and we are both potty mouths ANYWAYS but I DO not like this turn of events (it has happened about 4 or 5 times now) I always completely stop the argument and make it perfectly clear that this is UNACCEPTABLE to me and I do NOT like that he is calling me that. I would NEVER EVER say that to anyone in the heat of the moment no matter WHAT the fight was about and I find it absolutely disgusting that he thinks it''s okay that he can say that to ME. He just kind of shrugs and says something along the lines of "Well if you didn''t act like one....." etc. And afterwards he does NOT apologize for it either. I am REALLY disturbed by this and it actually directly contributed to my decision to call off the wedding (I''m not sure if this is overreacting on my part but I honestly kept thinking "my future HUSBAND thinks it''s okay to call me a C when we argue? That is SO not cool!").
When I talk to my friends about it they seem to be split 50/50 as to how bad this particular issue is. Half seem to think he''s just being a jerk and guys say stupid things when they''re mad and THEIR husbands have said crappy things to them that they regret too (ah, but did they APOLOGIZE afterwards? Yes, they did!). The other half say "WHY are you still with him?????"
Thoughts?