PSers, how long have you been married or for the single people, how long was your longest relationsh

[iluvcarats]

Together for 22 years, married 15 years in Sept.
He''s my first and only boyfriend.

 

[Imdanny]

And the people who are gay and live in states where they can''t get married?

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

I have been married for 56 days!! Woo!!

(we have been together for nearly 3.5 years)

 

[NakedFinger]

OK, so I might sound like a b*tch when I say this, but i've been continuously thinking this throughout posts on PS. But am I the only one who thinks its sad when people who talk about a 5 or 10 year marriage like its some huge accomplishment? Yes ten years is a long time, but marriage is supposed to be forever. So when people talk about "I've been married for FIVE YEARS, and we're still happpy" like its a miracle (and not pointing out someone specific in my post, just an observation over time), it bothers me. Like ummm thats not that long, of course you are still happy after only 5 years. But thats not that long in the grand scheme of things. How long do you think marriage is for???

Anyways....my fiance and I will be together for 10 years on 6/1. Not married yet, will be in August, but I still get the same butterflies when I kiss him now as I did when I first met him at 16. The last decade has flown by,and I look forward to sharing the rest of my life with him.

Oh, and if it helps. My parents were 12 when they started dating. They have been married for 28 years and together for 36. And they are still deliriously happy (ie: still leave love notes at the coffee pot every morning, still celebrate their "dating" anniversary, still dance every time they hear their wedding song....even when they were driving and pulled over on the side of the highway to dance, and still have sex AT LEAST 3 times a week even with 3 of the 6 kids still living at home). Thats what I consider still happy in marriage! So, do I believe its possible to love someone for the rest of your life and still be happy? Absolutely!!!

And I plan on that being me as well!

ETA: OH, btw, also two sets of my Aunts/Uncles are high school sweethearts, my grand parents over 50 years and two sets of my great grandparents have been married for 75 years!

 

[jaysonsmom]

Date: 5/6/2010 8:06:41 PM
Author: Imdanny
And the people who are gay and live in states where they can''t get married?

Well, of course you''re included. Tell us how many years you have been together with your honey.

 

[Kaleigh]

Imdanny,
Tell us how long you two have been together...

 

[lightningbug]

Date: 5/6/2010 8:12:03 PM
Author: NakedFinger
OK, so I might sound like a b*tch when I say this, but i've been continuously thinking this throughout posts on PS. But am I the only one who thinks its sad when people who talk about a 5 or 10 year marriage like its some huge accomplishment? Yes ten years is a long time, but marriage is supposed to be forever. So when people talk about 'I've been married for FIVE YEARS, and we're still happpy' like its a miracle (and not pointing out someone specific in my post, just an observation over time), it bothers me. Like ummm thats not that long, of course you are still happy after only 5 years. But thats not that long in the grand scheme of things. How long do you think marriage is for???

I don't think you sound like a bitch, but I definitely think that any LTR that is going strong after 5 months, 5 years, or 5 decades warrants a celebratory 'hurrah!' -- and only a celebratory 'hurrah.' The marriage ceremony is conducted before friends and family so that those same community members can rally around and support the union in good times and bad. I think it's awesome that people are excited enough about their relationships to share that joy with other PSers. Besides, it's not a competition ~ being happily married for 5 years doesn't take anything away from anyone who has been happily married for 50. ETA: or vice versa!

 

[Kaleigh]

So do Canuck and I get a prize?? LOL!!!!

 

[lightningbug]

Date: 5/6/2010 8:30:40 PM
Author: Kaleigh
So do Canuck and I get a prize?? LOL!!!!

From me, you get TWO hurrahs!

And maybe some applause. Let''s see what I''ve got here...ah, yes:

 

[jaysonsmom]

Date: 5/6/2010 8:30:40 PM
Author: Kaleigh
So do Canuck and I get a prize?? LOL!!!!

I think AGBF gets the top prize for now....

 

[onedrop]

Date: 5/6/2010 8:12:03 PM
Author: NakedFinger
OK, so I might sound like a b*tch when I say this, but i''ve been continuously thinking this throughout posts on PS. But am I the only one who thinks its sad when people who talk about a 5 or 10 year marriage like its some huge accomplishment? Yes ten years is a long time, but marriage is supposed to be forever. So when people talk about ''I''ve been married for FIVE YEARS, and we''re still happpy'' like its a miracle (and not pointing out someone specific in my post, just an observation over time), it bothers me. Like ummm thats not that long, of course you are still happy after only 5 years. But thats not that long in the grand scheme of things. How long do you think marriage is for???

I don''t think it''s "sad" when people are extremely proud of a 5 or 10 year marriage. Marriage is no cake walk from day to day and there is no assurance that a couple will be together from one year to the next even when you said/or thought from the beginning that marriage is for life. Sometimes it isn''t. And it seems lately with people around me, long marriages are not the norm. So yeah, I am ecstatic for people who have only been married a short 5 to 10 years and are still going strong. And you''ll probably think I am lame for saying that my DH and I have been married for three years and we are still happy.

 

[somethingshiny]

Nakedfinger~ I agree that marriage is supposed to last forever. My grandma and grandpa will be celebrating 61 years tomorrow in fact. I think (on PS at least) 5-10 yrs is "a lot" because the avg age is around 30 yrs old. 5-10 yrs is a long marriage for a 30 yr old.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 5/6/2010 8:36:44 PM
Author: jaysonsmom

Date: 5/6/2010 8:30:40 PM
Author: Kaleigh
So do Canuck and I get a prize?? LOL!!!!

I think AGBF gets the top prize for now....

Yes she does. So Deb , do you want a cake???

Canuck and I will be happy to be runners up!!!! Right Sharon?? LOL!!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Let''s see.... married 19 years next month... together 20 years in July... known him 35 years this summer... turning 40 end of this month...

 

[Kaleigh]

Just wait till DF responds, he''ll have us all beat!!!!!

 

[Black Jade]

I''m right after ABGF. We''ve been married 27 years in June. We were dating for 7 years before that, so its a total of 34 years if you count that.
However,I did find that dating is quite different than marriage, so not sure that you should.
We have had our rough spots (many of them) but remain passionately in love. He was a friend for a year before we even started dating so it''s 35 years since I''ve known him.
The two best pieces of advice I ever heard about marriage are:1) 50-50 isn''t good enough, you both have to give 100%.
And, 2)it''s like a triangle, with the two of you as the base points, if both of you are trying to grow closer to the Lord, you''ll find that you automatically will grow closer and closer to each other.

P.S. While I also feel sad that there are so many divorces, I see nothing wrong with being proud of having made 5 years or even 5 months. A journey of 1,000 miles does start with a single step, after all.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 5/6/2010 12:51:19 PM
Author:jaysonsmom
Hi ladies and gents. I''ve been reading a lot of threads about splitting up and divorces, and I''m curious see what is the longest you''ve been together with someone. I''m a hopeless romantic, and I hope this thread will inspire people to strive to work on their relationships.....


I''ve been with my husband for 12 years, married for almost 10.


We''ve had our ups and downs and almost called it quits a couple years ago, but we both made changes, and are going strong. Hope to stay together another 10 (I''m only going to shoot for 10 at a time

haha - I think the key to a long and successful marriage is to STAY MARRIED. I know that sounds TIC but there have been a few years here and there where I couldn''t stand him... followed by years where we were closer than ever before. I think the waxing and waning is normal and actually helps STRENGTHEN the relationship. If I''d divorced him every time I fantasized about it... I remember one year about 11 years ago where I contemplated it daily for months. Last year i felt closer to him for a few months that year than I''d ever felt to anyone including him... right now he''s stressed and a bit of an ass and I''d say it''s a bit average at the moment... but I''ve been on this ride long enough to know when to hold on tight and when to throw my hands up and say "wheeeeeee!"

 

[Octavia]

Date: 5/6/2010 8:28:41 PM
Author: lightningbug

Date: 5/6/2010 8:12:03 PM

Author: NakedFinger

OK, so I might sound like a b*tch when I say this, but i've been continuously thinking this throughout posts on PS. But am I the only one who thinks its sad when people who talk about a 5 or 10 year marriage like its some huge accomplishment? Yes ten years is a long time, but marriage is supposed to be forever. So when people talk about 'I've been married for FIVE YEARS, and we're still happpy' like its a miracle (and not pointing out someone specific in my post, just an observation over time), it bothers me. Like ummm thats not that long, of course you are still happy after only 5 years. But thats not that long in the grand scheme of things. How long do you think marriage is for???

I don't think you sound like a bitch, but I definitely think that any LTR that is going strong after 5 months, 5 years, or 5 decades warrants a celebratory 'hurrah!' -- and only a celebratory 'hurrah.' The marriage ceremony is conducted before friends and family so that those same community members can rally around and support the union in good times and bad. I think it's awesome that people are excited enough about their relationships to share that joy with other PSers. Besides, it's not a competition ~ being happily married for 5 years doesn't take anything away from anyone who has been happily married for 50. ETA: or vice versa!

Agreed, lightningbug! I think every day together should be celebrated (even the days when he drives me crazy), and you have to hit 5 years or 10 years on the way to the next milestone.

Hubby and I have been together 4 1/2 years, married 6 months. I can't wait to do something special for him on our 1 year married/5 years together anniversary in October

 

[Upgradable]

Date: 5/6/2010 8:52:33 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 5/6/2010 8:36:44 PM
Author: jaysonsmom

Date: 5/6/2010 8:30:40 PM
Author: Kaleigh
So do Canuck and I get a prize?? LOL!!!!

I think AGBF gets the top prize for now....

Yes she does. So Deb , do you want a cake???

Canuck and I will be happy to be runners up!!!! Right Sharon?? LOL!!!

Do I at least get to be Miss Congeniality?

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 5/6/2010 9:02:15 PM
Author: Uppy

Date: 5/6/2010 8:52:33 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 5/6/2010 8:36:44 PM
Author: jaysonsmom

Date: 5/6/2010 8:30:40 PM
Author: Kaleigh
So do Canuck and I get a prize?? LOL!!!!

I think AGBF gets the top prize for now....

Yes she does. So Deb , do you want a cake???

Canuck and I will be happy to be runners up!!!! Right Sharon?? LOL!!!

Do I at least get to be Miss Congeniality?

Of course!!!!! I missed your post.

FWIW,
I am a fly by poster these days... My bad.

I check in here and there... I'll be back soon.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

DH and I have been married for 10 months. I think every minute of a marriage should be celebrated just like a 50 year marriage. That''s how you keep your marriage young.

 

[bebe]

1-7-77

33 years married

 

[Gayletmom]

Dh and I have our 20th anniversary in August. We knew each other for 8 years, most of them as friends, before we started officially "dating" and then things moved pretty quickly.

We are raising four kids together and the fact that he is such a loving, caring, involved father makes me love him more every day.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 5/6/2010 9:14:31 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
DH and I have been married for 10 months. I think every minute of a marriage should be celebrated just like a 50 year marriage. That''s how you keep your marriage young.

This!!!! Keep on celebrating all you can. Gosh who is the grinch that put the squash on celebrating a year, or ten years?? I don''t get that. But then again, being married for 24 years, I trump most of you youngins!!!!

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Been married 26 1/2 years, one child.

He''s a great guy still. We''ve had some ups and downs and there was a time when I thought it was over, but we redidicated ourselves to the marriage and it''s fine now. He''s thoughtful, kind, generous and a fabulous father. I always tell him he''s not my type--I was living in NYC when I met him and dated only a certain kind of guy and he wasn''t it!!!--but we get along well. Having a sense of humor is ESSENTIAL in any relationship, especially one that''s lasted as long as ours has.

 

[Gayletmom]

I''m with Hudson and Kaleigh-celebrate every day!

And yes, Kaliegh, I was thinking "youngins", too. I was browsing the 15 years + people to get a sense of who is a bit more, ahem, "worldly" (how''s that for a euphimism?).

 

[Allison D.]

Date: 5/6/2010 7:08:15 PM
Author: Zoe

Date: 5/6/2010 6:01:19 PM
Author: Allison D.
Together for 8, married for 6.....still have stars in my eyes for him.

My husband started as my friend, so we''ve always been able to get along really well and rarely have disagreements. That said, I''ve found that the longer we''re married, it''s become progressively easier to resolve differences peacefully and humorously when we do have them. I''m guessing it''s because we''ve become more generous with each other over time in letting the small stuff just slide.

And HOW do you let things slide? I''m TERRIBLE at that. I don''t let things go, and I know it''s a bad habit. My husband actually noticed that I''ve become pickier and less tolerant about everything since we first met.

I don''t mean to pry, so don''t answer if you don''t feel comfortable.

Zoe, I can''t speak for how others do it, but for me, I''d say it''s an active, conscious choice to let them slide.

When Rich and I first lived under the same roof, it was an adjustment. We had varying standards for ''what''s good enough'' with respect to housekeeping and organization. Things that seemed important to me just didn''t even ping his radar. I''ve told this story before; when we were engaged, I''d gone to the kitchen and found (for what felt like the millionth time) an empty soda bottle on the counter. (He knows one of my pet peeves is crap on the counters). At that moment, I had a "holy crap, can I reallly go through with this marriage" moment, not just over the soda bottle but about ''how are we gonna live harmoniously?''

What it felt like to me was "he knows he''s leaving it there and just doesn''t care that it bothers me." When I said something to him about it, he said "oh, I didn''t realize it was there", and I just didn''t get that. HOW can you NOT SEE that it''s sitting there??!! He said as calmly and matter-of-factly as you can imagine "It wasn''t a purposeful thing; I don''t even recall setting it there, but if you point it out to me, I''ll be happy to take care of it. But it doesn''t bother me, so I don''t notice it."

As we''ve been together, I''ve seen him really try to be more aware and conscious, and he succeeds better at some times and less at others. It''s not that those things have actually become any more important to him; he tries sheerly because he wants to make me happy. There''s a lot to be said for that, and I try to keep that in mind when I decide whether something is worth making an issue over. When he empties the dishwasher, he doesn''t separates the tablespoons from the teaspoons; they all get mixed in together. But really, is the world going to end if the spoons are mixed in? No....no it isn''t, and the fact that I do it that way doesn''t make it ''right''. What''s the worst thing that can happen if the dishwasher isn''t packed better? We have to run it a bit more often....definitely not world-ending.

I don''t want to spend the energy in constant ''nitpick'' mode; it would increase my stress level and certainly his. I know I wouldn''t like constantly being picked at, so I try to be mindful of that when I think about "is this really worth the airtime?" If I decide something isn''t worth the airtime, then I have to truly let it go, not just hold onto it for later - LOL.

He''s the person I like most in the world; he''s more deserving of a little bit of slack than anyone else. He takes a similar approach; he decides if something is mission critical before nitpicking me. Because we''re not continually finding fault with each other, I think we tend to be more responsive to each other when things do come up. It''s made day-to-day living much easier to the point that I feel we''ve really hit our groove.

 

[Gailey]

Date: 5/6/2010 1:54:37 PM
Author: gwendolyn
We''ve been together for 5.5 years, married for 2 weeks and 6 days.

Congratulations Gwen, I hope you and Mr Gwen will have many, many years of bliss.

Mr Gailey and I will have been married 18 years next Friday, 14th May. If Canuk-Gal deserves a medal of honour, I think I at least qualify for time off for good behaviour (and I have been sooooooooooooo good!)

 

[NakedFinger]

OK OK, let me clarify. I am not saying that any amount of a happy marriage should not be celebrated. Like I said, we still celebrate our dating anniversary after 10 years, as do my parents after 36 years. I celebrate every moment I am with him and don't demean our relationship for anything. I am just saying, and again not from this post specifically, but from various threads throughout PS, that when people talk about a 3 year marriage being a huge "accomplishment" its kind of sad, because 3 years should seem like a fraction compared to what marriage is intended to be. I am not implying however, that a joyful marriage, regardless of its duration, is not to be celebrated. Every milestone is to be acknowledged (considering I know some that only lasted a year). So five years, 10 years, etc is wonderful. Especially when those years were actually HAPPY. I am just referring to people who act like "OMG we've been married for 3 years" like its SOOO long. Its like....ummmm what do you think marriage is? I have MARRIED people telling me "WOW I CANT BELIEVE YOU AND YOUR FIANCE ARE GOING ON 10 YEARS....THAT SOOOO LONG! EWWW". And i'm like "Well.....I plan on being with him a LOT longer?"

 

[Gailey]

Date: 5/6/2010 4:26:42 PM
Author: AGBF

Date: 5/6/2010 1:36:16 PM
Author: canuk-gal

Twenty Five years this Sept. I believe I''ve earned the Medal of Honor!

Then I get something higher. It was 33 years in March for me and my husband''s a difficult European .

AGBF

Yeah, mine too!