Prayers and positive wishes needed for our friend Independent Gal

[FireGoddess]

Thanks for checking in Indy. I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through. You are handling it amazingly, and are a strong woman! Hugs and prayers out to you both.

 

[TravelingGal]

Sure we have other things to think about IG, but we think about you too.

Hang in there, and I hope you get some well deserved rest.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 11/19/2008 5:47:59 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Sure we have other things to think about IG, but we think about you too.

Hang in there, and I hope you get some well deserved rest.

We all care about you Indy. Thanks for checking in with us. Be good to yourself, and get the rest you need. HUGS!!

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 11/11/2008 8:26:09 PM
Author: Independent Gal

Treasure your children, fellow PS''ers. Give them an extra, extra tight hug and tell them how much you love them. Every baby I see looks like a little miracle to me and seems like an affirmation of everything good and joyful in the midst of all this.


Hopefully, we will be blessed with many more children of our own, when the time is right.

Indy, I just want you to know that I take your words to heart. I miscarried a year and a half ago and although I wasn''t as far along as you the pain was still great. When I got pregnant again with Jake I treasured every minute and still do realizing how much of a miracle he is and all children are. I truly believe you and your hubby will be blessed with many more children.

I''m glad you''ve got a good support group around you and hope you can get all the rest you need.

 

[jas]

We love you, Indy. Thanks for checking in.

 

[snlee]

Indy, thanks for checking in. We all care about you. We have other things to think about but you are still on our minds. Don''t feel ashamed for taking up attention. That''s the last thing you should feel. I think it''s a great idea to take a few days off to rest. Take good care of yourself. Hang in there. Hugs.

 

[neatfreak]

Hey Indy, thanks for checking in. Hang in there girl, everyday will get easier. Take some much deserved time off for yourself.

 

[divergrrl]

hug hug hug hug hug Indy....

I think of you often & hope you find a little bit of peace each day. Know you are cared about by your PS friends, and know that your sons will never be forgotten. I am so sorry honey.

xoxo

Diver.

 

[KimberlyH]

Indy, so glad you checked in, so sorry you''re exhausted. Are you and your husband still planning a trip to Moracco? Please don''t feel ashamed.

My best to you.

 

[Skippy123]

Indy, I have thought of you and your hubby often; glad you will be getting some rest. Take care and hugs.

 

[fieryred33143]

I was thinking of you today and glad to see an update.

Hang in there! And you aren''t taking any attention away. We''re all happy to hear from you.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Indy if it makes you feel better, it makes us all feel good to offer you care and support, so don't worry!

Thanks for checking in. I still think about you often and hope you are healing. I miss you around these here parts, I look forward to the day you start feeling bored enough to post 100 times a day like the rest of us PS-nutters!

Hugs to you and hubby!

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 11/20/2008 8:26:28 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
Indy if it makes you feel better, it makes us all feel good to offer you care and support, so don''t worry!

Thanks for checking in. I still think about you often and hope you are healing. I miss you around these here parts, I look forward to the day you start feeling bored enough to post 100 times a day like the rest of us PS-nutters!

Hugs to you and hubby!

Ditto to Dreamer and also to TGal - you''ve made a wonderful contribution to this community and I''m sure I speak for everyone in saying that we''ll keep providing any support we can as long as its helpful to you.

You are a woman of tremendous strength and grace - good thoughts continue for you and your DH in your grief.

 

[littlelysser]

I''m glad to see you check in Indy.

You remain in my thoughts and I pray you continue to heal and take care of yourself.

 

[Kelli]

Please don''t feel ashamed of any attention you are getting. We keep coming back because we are thinking about you, and we want to know how you''re doing. I hope you get the rest you need and deserve.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Indy- we def miss u around here..I think of u quite often and so glad to hear u r ok. Thanks for being supportive whenever we needed u and feel free to lean on us whenever u need to. I can''t wait to see u back of the boards whenever ur ready. Hugs.

 

[sugarplum]

indygal- i am so deeply sorry for your loss. i''ve been away from PS for a while and didn''t see this thread until today. from your posts, we can see what a strong and positive person you are. continue to stay strong. you and your family are in my thoughts.

 

[katebar]

Dear Indy thanks so much for stopping by to tell us how you are going. Indy it might ''feel'' like your are taking up time on PS but please realise that we were all so moved by the plight of you, your husband and your precious sons. Your grace and strength through this difficult of times has been for me truly inspiring. You and your husband continue to be in thoughts and I wish the best of the best in the future.
Kate in Australia.

 

[Independent Gal]

Hello everyone. Please know how incredibly much it means to me that you are all my cheerleaders, and that you think of and remember my dear sons.

So, a friend suggested (jokingly) that maybe I should get a couple of piglets to cuddle, like that tiger that lost her cubs in the hoax that circulated recently.

Or maybe a puppy. I have this overwhelming urge to nurture and care for something and no babies on whom to shower that care. Realistically, we can't get a pet right now! But heading down to the shelter to play with lonely pooches helps. So does taking care of other peoples' children. I'm the on-call babysitter at work now.

It is really insane how much I miss Sam and Isaac. But I am still taking it a day at a time, and will for as long as I have to.

Kim H, we had to put our Morocco hopes on hold. Between the cost of the funeral and the importance of going to visit my mom overseas at peak season (she's fighting cancer and really needs support right now), my entire liquid savings is gonegonegone. It looks likely that my husband will lose his job, so we have to be careful! We can get through, but only by being frugal. Maybe in February, when it's cheap, we'll see about a last minute deal to somewhere warm and sunny.

The world doesn't stop just because your babies die. There are still other problems, other loved ones and friends who are stressed or worried or ill to comfort and care for, other obligations. In theory it would have been nice to take some time to rest and reflect and attend to my own needs. I would have liked to take some time away. But maybe being forced back into the fold actually makes things easier? It keeps me from feeling sorry for myself and dwelling on it to the exclusion of other things.

I am pretty exhausted though.

 

[KimberlyH]

Indy, your mother is lucky to have such a wonderful, thoughtful daughter. My thoughts remain with her as well. I''m so sorry your husband is facing the possibility of losing his job. This is such a difficult time, economically, and it''s unfortunate that the world doesn''t stop spinning when we grieve, but in my personal experiences of loss that has also been a positive as it forced me to continue to put on proverbial foot in front of the other. While Morocco is not a possibility right now, I hope you find comfort and peace in your time with your mom. Nurture yourself (I babysit frequently and it is a great escape for the mind, there is little more pleasing than watching children play, and joining them, too!) and know that you, your husband, and your sons are thought of often with much affection.

 

[2babycarrots]

Hello,
I stumbled across this thread just now. I had to send my condolences to you and your husband. Such a terrible loss. I lost my first child in a similar fashion. It felt as if the whole world stopped. I feel your grief and wish you the best. Take care of yourself.

 

[ChinaCat]

Indy-

I have held off posting until now because everyone has said the most wonderful things and I truly don''t know that anything I could say could make you feel better.

But I can''t stop thinking of you and your cubs. I just can''t help but think that they had the most perfect lives. Short, but no heartbreak, pain, loss, stress, depression- just pure, overwhelming, unconditional love, focused only on them from the one (or two!) people they love the most. What a beautiful hour that must have been. They were lucky to have you as a mom.

Also, for some reason when I say your screen name in my head, I always hear it like a superhero is being announced, like: "It''s INDYGAL to the rescue!" Your posts are always full of humor and grace. The way you''ve handled this is nothing short of amazing.

I hope you find some peace from your pain.

You and your DH, Sam and Isaac are in my prayers.

 

[princesss]

Indy, I''m glad to see these two updates, and very glad to see that you''re recognizing the maternal/nuturing instincts you''re feeling and accepting them. So many people fight what they feel, and it''s wonderful to see that you seem to be allowing yourself to actually feel things. (I''m sure that came out more jumbled than it is in my head, so I hope you understand what I''m trying to say.)

Your family is still in my prayers, and will continue to be. Life is as beautiful as it is cruel, and while I know you will never forget Sam and Isaac, I have faith that eventually you and your DH will be blessed with children and grandchildren to nurture and love. Until then, take it day by day, and let us and your friends and family do our little bit to nurture and care for you, even if it''s nothing more than a simple thread on the internet. As DD said, yes, there are other things on all of our minds, but it doesn''t lessen our concern for or care of our fellow PSer.

 

[D2B]

oh Indy.

i have just come back from holidays and read your update. I am sooooo sorry for you and your family. my thoughts and prayers are with you. I cried reading your post and all i can say is that I am thinking of you and wish you strength.

D2B

 

[Itgirl76]

Take it one day at a time and it will get easier...you''ll have your family when the time is right .
My best.

 

[Independent Gal]

Date: 11/24/2008 9:19:41 PM
Author: 2babycarrots
Hello,

I stumbled across this thread just now. I had to send my condolences to you and your husband. Such a terrible loss. I lost my first child in a similar fashion. It felt as if the whole world stopped. I feel your grief and wish you the best. Take care of yourself.

Thanks for sharing this and for your condolences. I''m so sorry to hear that you lost your child also. It helps to know that we''re not alone, but of course, in a way, I wish we were. Hopefully, scientists will soon figure out how to stop these things so that our own children and their children will be saved from this kind of grief.

My warmest wishes to you, babycarrots.

 

[Independent Gal]

Date: 11/25/2008 1:34:47 PM
Author: ChinaCat

Also, for some reason when I say your screen name in my head, I always hear it like a superhero is being announced, like: 'It's INDYGAL to the rescue!'

Well, let me know if you hear of a cat stuck in a tree or an evil villain that needs thwarting! teehee. I do feel strong. Deeply grieving and very sad, while staying very strong. Go on villains of the world! Take your best shot!

 

[Independent Gal]

Date: 11/27/2008 6:25:49 PM
Author: Itgirl76
Take it one day at a time and it will get easier...you''ll have your family when the time is right .

My best.

Itgirl, I just wanted to respond to this because everything I''ve been reading and what the doctors and nurses told us about dealing with this suggests that it''s important to tell someone if they say something that shows they mean well, but is actually hurtful. I know you mean this to be comforting, and I know how awkward and hard it is to know what to say sometimes. But the truth is that the time is right for my family NOW, that my late sons ARE part of my family, and that any time is the wrong time to have your babies die in your arms. They didn''t die because it was the wrong time for them to live, they died because that''s how nature works sometimes and science hasn''t figured out how to stop it. I can''t believe that God lets us give birth to babies, and then changes his mind and kills them because he made a mistake about the timing.

We loved THESE children, they came at just the right time for us. They were profoundly wanted. And they will always be part of our family, even though we lost them, and no matter how many other children we have.

I hope it doesn''t offend you for me to tell you this! I do know 100% that you meant well by your comment and I appreciate you responding. I''m just telling you this in case it helps in the future, in terms of "knowing what to say".

 

[HollyS]

Indy, I''m constantly amazed by your strength and resilience. But, even so, we know you face some dark moments every now and then, and gosh, yes, you must be tired. We hope our continued prayers will keep you moving, and comfort you in your grief, and in your worry about your mom, your husband''s job, etc. You''ve got a lot on your plate right now, and we pray that amidst all of it, you can and will feel peace.

 

[bee*]

Indy, I''m still in awe of your strength and I''ve been thinking of you so much. Sending repeated hugs.