Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ears?

[monarch64]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

Yanaazul, interesting story!

I voted "no" in the poll. I have a very long story as well but hate to post it because it is so lengthy. Let me just say that my pierced ears were a very hard-won fight, both personally and physically.

Smith, good thread. I like all of them. You bring a fresh perspective and some interest to Hangout that's been lacking for awhile now.

 

[Polished]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

I remember one friend from years ago told me she thought pierced ears were cheap. She said when she was out on a date a guy had asked her if she had pierced ears and she had been so relieved to remove the clip earrings in order to show him she was not a "cheapie" with pierced ears. She also married young and I remember loving her delicate three stone diamond ring in white gold. That was another thing she thought yellow gold wedding sets looked cheap too. In both cases I knew she meant "cheap" as in common. Otherwise I never noticed her as snobby and she had a great sense of humour but this appeared to just be a quirk.

 

[asscherisme]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

Never a negative attitude. I have 2 daughters and my attitude towards them getting their ears pierced was I would not bring it up but if they came to me and wanted them pierced I was fine as long as they were old enough to take care of them. My 14 year old daughter got hears pierced last year at 13 and she is very happy with them. My 10 year old daughter has no interest and I don't think she will ever get them pierced. I will say that most girls where I live have them pierced early elementary school. My daughters are not the norm around here. Most adult women have them pierced too.

 

[yanaazul]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

I voted "no" in the poll. I have a very long story as well but hate to post it because it is so lengthy. Let me just say that my pierced ears were a very hard-won fight, both personally and physically.

Would love to hear your story when you have a chance, monarch. It sounds like it will be an interesting one. I'm happy for you that you finally got your ears pierced, since you wanted them so strongly.

I know I'm preaching to the choir on a jewelry forum, but I can't imagine not wearing earrings! Whether simple studs or graceful huggies or huge hoops or long and dangly, gemstones, costume, acrylic... there's truly something for everyone out there, you know?

 

[AGBF]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

I remember one friend from years ago told me she thought pierced ears were cheap. She said when she was out on a date a guy had asked her if she had pierced ears and she had been so relieved to remove the clip earrings in order to show him she was not a "cheapie" with pierced ears. She also married young and I remember loving her delicate three stone diamond ring in white gold. That was another thing she thought yellow gold wedding sets looked cheap too. In both cases I knew she meant "cheap" as in common. Otherwise I never noticed her as snobby and she had a great sense of humour but this appeared to just be a quirk.

Hmmm. I think JewelFreak really hit the nail on the head (yet again). It sounds as if this woman was brought up in the same tradition as my mother. My mother never mentioned yellow gold looking common, and indeed, I have a distinct preference for yellow gold over white.... My mother, however, besides never piercing her own ears and feeling that having pierced ears was, "common", wore white metals. Her wedding band was white gold. The eternity band she got from my father when I was born (set with tiny stones) was platinum. She was married in 1941 before the United States joined World War II (i.e. before Pearl Harbor was bombed).

It sounds as if the person who raised the friend of Polished must have been from the same era and passed on the same values, just as I received the same values from my mother. I was also raised so that I admired smaller pieces of jewelry, not larger ones. In the beginning I could not imagine wearing a diamond of over 1 carat.

AGBF

 

[misssoph]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

My grandmother, farming family rural australia, always said pierced ears were common. But then she disapproved of nearly everyone, especially all her son and daughter in laws families and was terribly racist.

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

I used to travel around Japan with our Japanese distributor & 3 of his staff -- they were like my brothers. After much sake at dinner they asked if my ears were pierced. When I said yes, they did that Japanese intake of breath that means, "I don't like that," or "noooo," and shuddered, saying the Japanese equivalent of "Eeeeuuuwww." As if, why would you hurt yourself like that? At the time very few Japanese women had their ears pierced.

That's the only negative comment I've heard in decades. iLander is right, though -- to the Depression & WWII generation piercing meant gypsy fortune-tellers or beggars in Spain. (Please don't flame me for mentioning that people are not all carbon copies of each other. ) I didn't give a damn.

iLander, Girl With a Pearl Earring has to have had her ears pierced. In the 1600s there was no other way to attach them! It probably carried a connotation that you could afford jewelry.

I was told not to do many, many things that I went right out and did. Many, many, many things.

I get such a laugh about that!! It's ME too! If it was taboo, it must be interesting!

--- Laurie

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

I've never heard of piercing one's ears as being common. My sister (34) never pierced her ears but she chose not to simply because she doesn't like jewelry. She doesn't see why people would want to put holes in their ears and then hang jewelry from them. I got my first holes done when I was 12 and then my second while in college. I haven't worn earrings in my second holes in years though.

I don't really care what others do but I don't get ear gauges at all.

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

What's an ear gauge?

 

[gregchang35]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

I had always wanted to get my ears pierced as a boy.... but was never allowed to. too young and boys dont get ears pierced: only girls get ears pierced.

It wasn't until i graduated university and moved out of home that i got one done in the left ear. the following year, i got another one in the left ear. 10yrs later i got one in the right ear. Now i feel complete!!!! hahahahahaha....

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

What's an ear gauge?

Google it and you'll see. Picture someone sticking a ring inside their ear lobes, making it so you can see straight through their lobes. Some gauges are bigger than others, but they all look silly to me.

 

[kalomeli]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

No. Never. I live in Finland which is located in northern Europe and only negative comments about ear piercings I've heard were about ear gauges or multiple piercings in the same ear...

I was seven when I got my piercings and I was the first one in my class. I remember begging to have them for months! I'm earrings kinda girl and I'm fine going anywhere with no make-up on but feel naked if I'm not wearing earrings.

I have only one friend who doesn't have her ears pierced and she would love to have piercings there. She is now 31 and afraid that it'll hurt crazy or something so I have promised that I'll hold her hand and buy her ice cream if she decides to do so.

 

[missy]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

The only negative attitudes I have encountered regarding ear piercings are when parents pierce their infants ears or when people get multiple ear piercings. Personally I like multiple ear piercings though I don't have them myself and I make no judgment calls regarding piercing infants ears though I would not have my children's ears pierced at such a young age because I would want them to make the decision for themselves. But I get that it's a cultural thing so I don't think it's such a big deal even if it's something I didn't grow up with. I got my ears pierced when I was a teenager because my parents wanted me to be sure I wanted to have them pierced. Ironically after I got them pierced I let them close up and didn't even start wearing earrings till my late 20's early 30's LOL.

 

[LaraOnline]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

Interesting thread for a jewellery forum.
My mother, although coming from common enough stock, seemed to inherit the 'anti-ear piercing' mantra from her own mother.
Although, her own wedding set and jewellery has been yellow gold.
And come to think of it, so was Grandma's.

Mum finally got her own ears pierced around age 48 too, AGBF!
I think she enjoys wearing nice earrings.

She was terribly shocked when I went to a jewellery store at age 14 and got my ears pierced with my wicked 'bad influence' artistic friend!!
I've never regretted it. I *do* regret waiting so long to get beautiful fine jewellery earrings though.

I had a beautiful pair of very heavy silver and amethyst chandelier earrings that I bought when I travelled to Morocco as a wild child about 15 years ago. Sad to say, a hippie stole quite a bit of my gear, including these beloved earrings! I miss them still.

But...they were very heavy. I am very careful with my piercings, and now totally avoid any earrings that might 'drag' on my piercings. I've drummed this into my little nine-year-old girl too!

My own little girl was allowed to have her ears pierced when she was 8 1/2. We had a big trip to the city (two hours drive away) and went to a proper (and surprisingly family friendly) piercing shop, where there were lots of mothers and daughters. We've been super conscientious in following the rules for healing, and we nearly a year on we have just ordered her some different hypoallergenic studs so she can have a change!

I have a tiny pair of diamond studs set aside for her to enjoy when she turns 13.
Princess cut because she is a princess!

 

[missy]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

Interesting thread for a jewellery forum.
My mother, although coming from common enough stock, seemed to inherit the 'anti-ear piercing' mantra from her own mother.
Although, her own wedding set and jewellery has been yellow gold.
And come to think of it, so was Grandma's.

Mum finally got her own ears pierced around age 48 too, AGBF!
I think she enjoys wearing nice earrings.

She was terribly shocked when I went to a jewellery store at age 14 and got my ears pierced with my wicked 'bad influence' artistic friend!!
I've never regretted it. I *do* regret waiting so long to get beautiful fine jewellery earrings though.

I had a beautiful pair of very heavy silver and amethyst chandelier earrings that I bought when I travelled to Morocco as a wild child about 15 years ago. Sad to say, a hippie stole quite a bit of my gear, including these beloved earrings! I miss them still.

But...they were very heavy. I am very careful with my piercings, and now totally avoid any earrings that might 'drag' on my piercings. I've drummed this into my little nine-year-old girl too!

My own little girl was allowed to have her ears pierced when she was 8 1/2. We had a big trip to the city (two hours drive away) and went to a proper (and surprisingly family friendly) piercing shop, where there were lots of mothers and daughters. We've been super conscientious in following the rules for healing, and we nearly a year on we have just ordered her some different hypoallergenic studs so she can have a change!

I have a tiny pair of diamond studs set aside for her to enjoy when she turns 13.
Princess cut because she is a princess!

Huge ditto to this. I avoid any earrings that are heavier than 5 grams total weight these days. Since I wear earrings everyday I want to be careful and avoid getting droopy earlobes or worse. I find 5 grams are my max comfort level with no drag on my ears. Though I own heavier blingier earrings I avoid wearing them (sad) except for perhaps a special occasion for a few hours. If I had known then what I know now...

Lara, your daughter is going to love those princess diamond studs you have saved for her...a beautiful gift for a beautiful little princess! What young girl wouldn't love that!

 

[TC1987]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

Dang. I am so shocked. I could have had pierced ears a decade sooner, if only I'd thought to use a thumbtack and an eraser! (I'm not laughing at the person who did that / posted that. This entire topic just makes me laugh hysterically, because it was such a big battle with my parents over such a low-risk and trivial thing. LOL. I think my mother simply has a phobia about getting holes pierced in her ear lobes, like the way some people can't stand needles. I have tried for years to convert her, but she won't ever go get it done.)

 

[yssie]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

Interesting thread for a jewellery forum.
My mother, although coming from common enough stock, seemed to inherit the 'anti-ear piercing' mantra from her own mother.
Although, her own wedding set and jewellery has been yellow gold.
And come to think of it, so was Grandma's.

Mum finally got her own ears pierced around age 48 too, AGBF!
I think she enjoys wearing nice earrings.

She was terribly shocked when I went to a jewellery store at age 14 and got my ears pierced with my wicked 'bad influence' artistic friend!!
I've never regretted it. I *do* regret waiting so long to get beautiful fine jewellery earrings though.

I had a beautiful pair of very heavy silver and amethyst chandelier earrings that I bought when I travelled to Morocco as a wild child about 15 years ago. Sad to say, a hippie stole quite a bit of my gear, including these beloved earrings! I miss them still.

But...they were very heavy. I am very careful with my piercings, and now totally avoid any earrings that might 'drag' on my piercings. I've drummed this into my little nine-year-old girl too!

My own little girl was allowed to have her ears pierced when she was 8 1/2. We had a big trip to the city (two hours drive away) and went to a proper (and surprisingly family friendly) piercing shop, where there were lots of mothers and daughters. We've been super conscientious in following the rules for healing, and we nearly a year on we have just ordered her some different hypoallergenic studs so she can have a change!

I have a tiny pair of diamond studs set aside for her to enjoy when she turns 13.
Princess cut because she is a princess!

Huge ditto to this. I avoid any earrings that are heavier than 5 grams total weight these days. Since I wear earrings everyday I want to be careful and avoid getting droopy earlobes or worse. I find 5 grams are my max comfort level with no drag on my ears. Though I own heavier blingier earrings I avoid wearing them (sad) except for perhaps a special occasion for a few hours. If I had known then what I know now...

Lara, your daughter is going to love those princess diamond studs you have saved for her...a beautiful gift for a beautiful little princess! What young girl wouldn't love that!

I try to avoid heavy earrings as well. The super-thin wire hook sorts with no snap-closure and with non-articulating danglies scare me especially - when I look at one I see a tiny cutting-wire sawing down the lobe as the weight of the dangle makes the hook rock back and forth in the hole!

I think slightly thicker posts and dangles with stud-type attachments can help w/ piercings enlarging or migrating but they wouldn't do anything for droopy earlobes... I'm scratching the VCA Alhambra dangly earclips off my wish list, they're just so darn heavy!

Lara - wow, she's a lucky girl!! That's a lovely gift - she's going to be over the moon. But goodness, you're making her wait four more years?

 

[asscherisme]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

My daughter had hers done at her doctor. The doctor told us a great metal for healing is titanium. She was pierced with titanium and has worn only titatnium for the past year. She healed beautifully and has had no issues.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

My mother's family did not wear any jewelry (besides a wedding band) or makeup. Neither my mother or aunt wear jewelry to this day. Some of my aunts by marriage do. I was taught that jewelry was, if not exactly immoral, wasteful and selfish.

I have never gotten my ears pierced. It's a hassle. You have to worry about infections, about allergies (a big deal for me), about sleeping and showering, and you have to wear at least studs every day or they close up. I don't think I was ever told that pierced ears were common, but I was told that they were overly worldly, selfish, unhealthy, and just generally not worth it.

If you've never gotten your ears pierced, that's perfectly fine, but to say it's a "hassle" is simply not true. To say that they are "unhealthy" is again, entirely untrue. The average person does not have to worry about any of the concerns you listed (infections, sleeping, showering, wearing earrings every day, and even allergies). The only valid concern you listed was allergies becasue there is a small percentage of people with allergies to certain metals/materials. The average person gets their ears pierced and goes on with life, with barely another thought about them unless it's in regards to which pair to wear....

 

[Trekkie]

Oh, yes! My mother thought little girls shouldn't have their ears pierced. She thought it was "dreadfully common", an opinion no doubt picked up from my dad - a Brit born before WWII, so of course his opinions were old fashioned. As a result I was probably the only coloured girl in my city with unpierced ears!

I had them pierced at a jewellery store a few weeks before I turned 14. At the time I resented having to wait that long but now I'm glad I was able to make the decision myself. When I have daughters I'll wait until they ask for pierced ears before I take them to have theirs done.

Interestingly, my mother didn't object to her Asian friends having their daughters' ears pierced - she even bought them 22kt gold earrings as gifts!

 

[decodelighted]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

My father (b. 1940) - southern US ... always called piercings of every kind "barbaric". My sisters went ahead anyway and all pierced their ears (single hole) in their late teens. I don't recall any negative talk about them from my father but I didn't end up piercing my own ears until I turned 40. And my mother, his wife, still does not have her ears pierced at 69 ... and probably never will.

 

[Smith1942]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

I know that some people don't agree with piercings for babies and young children, (and I have heard older generation turn their noses up about pierced ears for people of any age), but what floored me what that there are women of my own age, own generation, who are snobby regarding single ear piercings on adult women! I mean, these are people who were children in the Seventies and Eighties - from the southeast of the UK so not some remote island. I was pretty amazed that young people could be so conservative about the issue, and it was a revelation that someone my own age could inwardly be looking my ears with their high-quality super-ideal diamonds and thinking they looked somewhat downmarket!

I Googled ear piercings and apparently the earliest known trend for this goes back to 3000 BC.

What's interesting about this thread is the ways that people had their ears pierced. I'm squeamish to think how many did it at home!! It's also interesting how many people went to the doctor's. I really can't imagine your average NHS GP practice owning a piercing gun!!

Where I was growing up, everyone went to the hairdresser's to have it done. Back then, in the mid-Eighties in southern England, ear piercing was a service offered by many hair salons. I don't remember it hurting. Also, they got the holes smack bang in the centre, for which I'm grateful. I have friends whose holes are way too near the edge of the lobe. I remember the excitement of getting it done at 12, talking about it with all my friends who were also getting theirs done, and I remember really well the sparkly little bezel CZs I picked out to get them pierced with. The gun they used would shoot the earrings straight into your ears. They did look just like diamonds. I kept checking my ears in the mirror afterwards and was so happy to see these baby bezels on my lobes. Ah, sweet memories of being a tween! I think those CZs set the stage for my collection today, I really do!

 

[Scarlett1]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

If pierced ears are common then I am VERY common, I have three in each ear.

Lol, me too! The majority of girls in Ireland would have their ears pierced by their first holy communion, so around age 7.
I remember begging my Dad to let me get my ears pierced for my communion but there was no way. (He hates pierced ears, don't think its because he thinks it's common, must ask him)He said I could get them pierced when I was a teenager.So on my 13th birthday I went to the jewellers with a friend and got them pierced 3 times in each ear He was not impressed, said I looked like a christmas tree but let me keep them. When I arrived home at 15 with my nose pierced, that was another story, made me take it out

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

Hi Amber (how are you, lady? ) On boy's earrings:

My DD's ex-boyfriend had both ears pierced and wore giant CZ's.

In my generation, for boys, it was left ear for straight, right ear for gay.

I'm still not sure what he was trying to "say", if anything. DD said it doesn't mean anything now. Rappers wear one or both, or none, or several or whatever. Because of that, regular guys wear whatever.

I preferred the old way, communication is a good thing.

Hi Ilander--hope you are well.

I asked the kid if he wanted a diamond stud or simulent but he wasn't interested. My ever helpful husband said "Go for it. You and you mother can share earrings!" If looks could kill {from the BOTH of us I'd be mourning on the QEII now!}

I wasn't allowed to get them when I lived at my parent's house, but you can believe one of my "must dos" when I moved to NYC {@19} was to get them done, I got the ear piercer you do yourself. Muy painful. Had a coupe of infections, but I finaly had pierced ears. Love long dangly ones, but would never turn down a stone.

 

[Kaleigh]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

Yes, my family thought it was very common. I begged and wore them down and got them pierced at 16... My mother who was sooooo against it... WE don't DO that... ( got her's pierced the next day ) at the MALL no less...

Imagine the horror that I allowed DD to get her's pierced at 5!! You would have thought I commited a crime..

IDK all fine here...

 

[anne_h]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

No for me for adults.

But when we discussed it for our daughters, my British husband and his British friends and family generally frowned on it, due to a perceived association with certain demographic groups.

However, we live in North America and I had no such issues so in the end we went ahead.

Anne

Curious to know, which group? Please say, I'm trying to understand.

Hi iLander,

They mentioned two associations - one to lower socioeconomic status, and one to Roma descent. If I understood correctly, the perception related to ear piercings on children in particular (not adults).

As mentioned, we live in North America and I had no such associations so in the end we went ahead. Turned out very cute and the girls enjoy it.

Anne

 

[HopeDream]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

My Mom made me wait until I was 12 before I was allowed ot have pierced ears. She was worried about the earrings catching and ripping my lobe if I was rambunctious as a smaller child, thus 12. My sister was allowed to peirce her ears at the same time at age 9 . Sadly she did end up ripping her lobe slightly in her sleep - maybe she should have waited.

Queen Elizabeth has her ears peirced, and so do both my grandmothers, so peircing itself isn't conisidered "common" More than one peircing per ear isconsidered a bit gaudy in my family. Wearing rings on more than one finger per hand is also considered gaudy.

If you were decended from europeans that had followed a more conservative religion in the past (Calvenist Protestantism, Mennonite, Quaker, Puritan etc.) then I could see the last vestiges of the social tradition of dressing simply and modestly resulting in a view of pierced earrings as "a bit much". I don't know anyone who is a protestant now, but funny little social norms get passed down anyway.

Any part of Asia that has had a strong tradition of Buddhism in the past may frown upon earrings, as buddhist scripture had generaly condemed peircing the body (tattoos, peircing, surgery etc.) for a very long time because it would cause more harm than good ( infection etc.). Now I think with modern medical techniques, most buddhist contries are a little more leniant when it comes to the treatment of the body. ( I used to live in Japan and ear-peircing is quite popular with the younger set but seldom seen on older grannies)

 

[Smith1942]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

Hope dream, is that a brooch in your avatar? It's gorgeous!

I had to wait till 12 also. It was hard when I was 9 and my sister had hers done at 12. I kept asking and asking and asking my mum if I could have it done at the same time too, like your younger sister, and my mum absolutely would not budge, no matter how much I went on. I remember being so envious of my sister being able to buy earrings - I even remember the first pair she bought - and when you're 9, three years might as well be a hundred years away!

 

[Boatluvr]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

I pierced my own ears when I was 18 (ice cubes, cork and a diaper pin) and when I went home from college my mother was shocked! She made the comment about 'common' or whatever. She was born in 1925. It seemed to be fairly common attitude for her generation. She too wore clip earrings for many years. She ended up getting her ears pierced in her forties. I have a second piercing on my left ear lobe only, I like to be different. Plus it's a place to put all those single earrings I have that I lost the mate to!

 

[Rose974]

Re: Poll: Ever Encountered Negative Attitudes re. Pierced Ea

In my culture babies get their ears pierced because its better for them. Usually the holes never close and it doesn't hurt as much. I got two holes above the one I got as a baby and they hurt and I've had a lot of problems with them. The ones I got as a baby I went without wearing earrings for 10 years and they never closed up or had any problems.

I know a lot of people think that is weird babies get it but I've never heard anything about that for adults. In fact it's weird if you don't have your ears pierced in my culture.