Please give me your thoughts...

[Catmom]

Ah Freke, I just feel so bad for your friend! I'm so sorry her pending engagement is on hold for this. The whole situation is just making me scratch my head. The vendor knows she doesn't want the ring yet he is insisting that she take possesion of the ring just to turn around and send it back? That just doesn't make any sense at all to me and the fact that the vendor has admitted there may be some problems with it just seems to add insult to injury. I can't believe this is a PS vendor. Does he not realize that there will come a time when he is going to be outed and skewered and probably rightly so? I can't believe he wouldn't care.

 

[ame]

Please tell me all of this is either in writing via email or on recorded phone calls at least. Unfortunately, some of this is sounding really familiar to me, about receiving it and rejecting it and returning it to get the refund... This is disturbing. I am not entirely sure what advice I would give other than I think that if it's not what the client asked for, the stone needs to be removed from the setting by the vendor, completely undamaged, and sent back to the client, and a refund processed. I don't understand what the holdup or issue is, unless this vendor doesn't have the funds to issue a refund right now and that's the hold up. Why waste the shipping costs and insurance each way to process a refund?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

This situation is absolutely ridiculous.

The diamond should be unset by the vendor and returned to the owner. It sounds like the vendor is playing games.

 

[FrekeChild]

Well, at some point the vendor needs to be revealed, because it casts doubts on a lot of vendors who are not to blame.

He had it set and he needs to have it removed! This is totally unacceptable. Period.

She is hoping that there will be more of a resolution before she escalates the issue by outing the vendor on PS.

Since she's in a delicate spot right now - she doesn't want to fuel the flame more than necessary at the moment.

 

[Nyc2chigal]

Please let us know who the vendor is if this doesn't get rectified by the vendor himself!

This is unacceptable!!

 

[madelise]

This experience with this vendor ruined that specific setting idea for her. She doesn't want a bezel anymore because she doesn't want to be reminded of this experience with this vendor. One week ago today was when she originally saw it, and at that point she was considering having the same setting concept made, but by a different vendor. In the week that has passed, she has become so distressed that she just wants nothing to do with the design.

This makes me so upset to hear. I know how emotionally-tied the choosing, designing and making of an engagement ring is.. and to hear that her dream ring is so botched that she doesn't even want the same concept made by another vendor makes my heart so sad for her.

Why won't he just unset the diamond for her? I agree that the vendor refusing to do it sounds very sketchy to me… Like he *knows* something is going on that he needs to hide.. Otherwise, why not unset it?

Is he just banking on her being emotional when she sees it, and just excited to have a ring for her engagement and ignore the hack job of a setting? That's very insulting.

Yeah, it really is so ridiculously sad. She's not sleeping at night and totally stressed out about this for multiple reasons.

I think he's hoping that she's going to see it and love it. After all she's been through for the past week, I can say that THAT will NOT happen.

It sounds like he's trying to tire her out, then. Insist on her seeing it when she's already upset/annoyed rather than unset it.. so when she gets it, she might get too annoyed to deal with him again. What a shady practice.

And him refusing the unset the stone, and refusing to send it to an appraiser…. all very very shady practice. Something smells uber fishy here.

 

[FrekeChild]

Ah Freke, I just feel so bad for your friend! I'm so sorry her pending engagement is on hold for this. The whole situation is just making me scratch my head. The vendor knows she doesn't want the ring yet he is insisting that she take possesion of the ring just to turn around and send it back? That just doesn't make any sense at all to me and the fact that the vendor has admitted there may be some problems with it just seems to add insult to injury. I can't believe this is a PS vendor. Does he not realize that there will come a time when he is going to be outed and skewered and probably rightly so? I can't believe he wouldn't care.

I know. I wish there was more I could do to help her out, but the only person who can do anything about it, is refusing to.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

So are you saying the ring is on the way to her??? I would probably refuse it. He needs to unset the stone. If his setter damaged the diamond, then that is why he'd want her jeweler to unset the stone. Then he will claim her jeweler did it.

 

[FrekeChild]

Please tell me all of this is either in writing via email or on recorded phone calls at least. Unfortunately, some of this is sounding really familiar to me, about receiving it and rejecting it and returning it to get the refund... This is disturbing. I am not entirely sure what advice I would give other than I think that if it's not what the client asked for, the stone needs to be removed from the setting by the vendor, completely undamaged, and sent back to the client, and a refund processed. I don't understand what the holdup or issue is, unless this vendor doesn't have the funds to issue a refund right now and that's the hold up. Why waste the shipping costs and insurance each way to process a refund?

I can't imagine that this vendor doesn't currently have the funds to refund her immediately.

I am in total agreement with you ame!

 

[FrekeChild]

Please let us know who the vendor is if this doesn't get rectified by the vendor himself!

This is unacceptable!!

I agree. I am incensed on her behalf.

 

[FrekeChild]

This experience with this vendor ruined that specific setting idea for her. She doesn't want a bezel anymore because she doesn't want to be reminded of this experience with this vendor. One week ago today was when she originally saw it, and at that point she was considering having the same setting concept made, but by a different vendor. In the week that has passed, she has become so distressed that she just wants nothing to do with the design.

This makes me so upset to hear. I know how emotionally-tied the choosing, designing and making of an engagement ring is.. and to hear that her dream ring is so botched that she doesn't even want the same concept made by another vendor makes my heart so sad for her.

Why won't he just unset the diamond for her? I agree that the vendor refusing to do it sounds very sketchy to me… Like he *knows* something is going on that he needs to hide.. Otherwise, why not unset it?

Is he just banking on her being emotional when she sees it, and just excited to have a ring for her engagement and ignore the hack job of a setting? That's very insulting.

Yeah, it really is so ridiculously sad. She's not sleeping at night and totally stressed out about this for multiple reasons.

I think he's hoping that she's going to see it and love it. After all she's been through for the past week, I can say that THAT will NOT happen.

It sounds like he's trying to tire her out, then. Insist on her seeing it when she's already upset/annoyed rather than unset it.. so when she gets it, she might get too annoyed to deal with him again. What a shady practice.

And him refusing the unset the stone, and refusing to send it to an appraiser…. all very very shady practice. Something smells uber fishy here.

Yup.

I think it's absolutely bizarre, honestly.

 

[Niel]

So are you saying the ring is on the way to her??? I would probably refuse it. He needs to unset the stone. If his setter damaged the diamond, then that is why he'd want her jeweler to unset the stone. Then he will claim her jeweler did it.

I agree I would not sign for it and tell them to return to sender! This is infuriating. Did they contact via email? Honestly I hate to be so suspicious but it totally does sound like something is damaged and he doesn't want the responsibility. This is terrible. Maybe its bad of me but these PS vendors get a lot of business though this site. I'd be making my situation very clear and obvious to as many people would listen until he realized if he was going to treat me like this people were going to know about it!

 

[ame]

Please tell me all of this is either in writing via email or on recorded phone calls at least. Unfortunately, some of this is sounding really familiar to me, about receiving it and rejecting it and returning it to get the refund... This is disturbing. I am not entirely sure what advice I would give other than I think that if it's not what the client asked for, the stone needs to be removed from the setting by the vendor, completely undamaged, and sent back to the client, and a refund processed. I don't understand what the holdup or issue is, unless this vendor doesn't have the funds to issue a refund right now and that's the hold up. Why waste the shipping costs and insurance each way to process a refund?

I can't imagine that this vendor doesn't currently have the funds to refund her immediately.

I am in total agreement with you ame!

I mean, I would assume all of these vendors have the funds to make these refunds, but I am sitting here trying to speculate a reason why it would not be immediate. And that was a single guess. Besides that I came up with what another poster just said that the setter damaged the stone and the vendor is not wanting to take responsibility for that and is hoping to pass the buck elsewhere by forcing the unsetting to another vendor who is unsuspecting.

I am in agreement to refuse the package.

This is so disappointing. I really hope that whoever this vendor is just does the right thing and gives this person her hopefully totally undamaged diamond and a refund so she can move on. I can SO commiserate with your friend.

 

[FrekeChild]

So are you saying the ring is on the way to her??? I would probably refuse it. He needs to unset the stone. If his setter damaged the diamond, then that is why he'd want her jeweler to unset the stone. Then he will claim her jeweler did it.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though she emailed AND left voicemail to NOT SEND HER THE RING, he sent it anyway.

He is saying that he will only accept an empty setting back. So she can't refuse it.

I don't even know what to tell her to do at this point.

 

[FrekeChild]

So are you saying the ring is on the way to her??? I would probably refuse it. He needs to unset the stone. If his setter damaged the diamond, then that is why he'd want her jeweler to unset the stone. Then he will claim her jeweler did it.

I agree I would not sign for it and tell them to return to sender! This is infuriating. Did they contact via email? Honestly I hate to be so suspicious but it totally does sound like something is damaged and he doesn't want the responsibility. This is terrible. Maybe its bad of me but these PS vendors get a lot of business though this site. I'd be making my situation very clear and obvious to as many people would listen until he realized if he was going to treat me like this people were going to know about it!

Yes, much of the correspondence is through email, thank goodness!

 

[ame]

That...is...wow. Ridiculous. I'd reject it. Seriously. I would NOT accept it.

And file a chargeback and provide all correspondence on this matter, including the fact that you refused shipment.

 

[Circe]

While I appreciate your discretion ... I think this is when you out the vendor.

I understand the reluctance. I'm in the middle of an unpleasant vendor situation myself. But mine is trying very hard to fix things, and deserves the leeway. This guy? Sounds like he's already planned to screw her, and the veil of secrecy does nothing but help him.

 

[FrekeChild]

Please tell me all of this is either in writing via email or on recorded phone calls at least. Unfortunately, some of this is sounding really familiar to me, about receiving it and rejecting it and returning it to get the refund... This is disturbing. I am not entirely sure what advice I would give other than I think that if it's not what the client asked for, the stone needs to be removed from the setting by the vendor, completely undamaged, and sent back to the client, and a refund processed. I don't understand what the holdup or issue is, unless this vendor doesn't have the funds to issue a refund right now and that's the hold up. Why waste the shipping costs and insurance each way to process a refund?

I can't imagine that this vendor doesn't currently have the funds to refund her immediately.

I am in total agreement with you ame!

I mean, I would assume all of these vendors have the funds to make these refunds, but I am sitting here trying to speculate a reason why it would not be immediate. And that was a single guess. Besides that I came up with what another poster just said that the setter damaged the stone and the vendor is not wanting to take responsibility for that and is hoping to pass the buck elsewhere by forcing the unsetting to another vendor who is unsuspecting.

I am in agreement to refuse the package.

This is so disappointing. I really hope that whoever this vendor is just does the right thing and gives this person her hopefully totally undamaged diamond and a refund so she can move on. I can SO commiserate with your friend.

Have you dealt with something similar before?

 

[FrekeChild]

That...is...wow. Ridiculous. I'd reject it. Seriously. I would NOT accept it.

And file a chargeback and provide all correspondence on this matter, including the fact that you refused shipment.

Unfortunately it was paid by check.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Then so far, it sounds like he has won if it is on the way to her. If the stone is damaged, there won't be any proof of who did it. The thing about it is, we all know that when we send an uninsured stone to be set, we are taking a risk because most vendors don't cover damage to a stone they didn't sell. BUT in this case, the poor workmanship on the setting casts some responsibility on the setter. I think if the diamond was damaged, there should be some responsibility if there was negligence.

At this point, it's over from the vendor's standpoint because he now has sent the ring to her (unless she refuses it). I think if she names him then he will have to respond as to why all of us are wrong about him needing to take out her stone and return it to her.

I think the poor workmanship pics need to be posted, too.

 

[ame]

I think she needs to somehow film herself reject the package, for video proof, because if she has to do a chargeback or something she then has video proof she didn't take it or open it. I would make sure it shows the sender and her name and her saying I do not accept this package.

ETA...Oh crap. Check? That...is a problem.

I don't necessarily need to know who the vendor is or see proof, but I really hope that whoever it is takes note of this and rectifies it immediately because when it comes out who it is...this will be a total sh#tstorm.

Please tell me all of this is either in writing via email or on recorded phone calls at least. Unfortunately, some of this is sounding really familiar to me, about receiving it and rejecting it and returning it to get the refund... This is disturbing. I am not entirely sure what advice I would give other than I think that if it's not what the client asked for, the stone needs to be removed from the setting by the vendor, completely undamaged, and sent back to the client, and a refund processed. I don't understand what the holdup or issue is, unless this vendor doesn't have the funds to issue a refund right now and that's the hold up. Why waste the shipping costs and insurance each way to process a refund?

I can't imagine that this vendor doesn't currently have the funds to refund her immediately.

I am in total agreement with you ame!

I mean, I would assume all of these vendors have the funds to make these refunds, but I am sitting here trying to speculate a reason why it would not be immediate. And that was a single guess. Besides that I came up with what another poster just said that the setter damaged the stone and the vendor is not wanting to take responsibility for that and is hoping to pass the buck elsewhere by forcing the unsetting to another vendor who is unsuspecting.

I am in agreement to refuse the package.

This is so disappointing. I really hope that whoever this vendor is just does the right thing and gives this person her hopefully totally undamaged diamond and a refund so she can move on. I can SO commiserate with your friend.

Have you dealt with something similar before?

Yep. Not exactly this situation but yes. I've actually had issues with a couple vendors, but only one was a PS vendor, Im sure you all know what I am talking about, the old schoolers sure do. And I've had to fight for refunds to get them.

 

[Laila619]

How ridiculous! I don't want to put pressure on you/her, but I agree that this is the time to say who the vendor is. They need to be held accountable, and the secrecy is what's allowing them to act like this.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

She has nothing to lose at this point by naming him. He needs to agree to accept the return, remove her diamond and send it back to her by overnight express. I think she should have her diamond back on Friday if they try to deliver the package tomorrow.

This reminds me of one of my bad experiences pre-PS. A jeweler set my diamond into a 3 stone setting that had the two side stones. I told him I was very uncertain and was not ready to commit but he insisted that I could take it and try it out and he would not cash my check until I let him know if I was keeping it. Once I got home, I checked prices of similar settings and realized he was charging me about double what the setting was worth. I live out of town so I had my mother return the ring for me. The jerk jeweler did not cash my check as he said, BUT he was rude to my mother and would not set my diamond back in my setting!!!

I don't do business with jerks and I never, ever recommend them to others. And there is a difference between having work done that is not to your expectations and the jeweler acting with integrity and refunding the money if it is their fault (or giving a credit if it is not their fault) and this situation with your friend.

 

[starshine]

This is absolutely unacceptable! A reputable vendor would have unset the stone and given the refund. It makes NO SENSE to insist that she have the stone unset herself, unless the vendor has something to hide. I do hope she outs this vendor on PS so everyone knows to steer clear! VERY shady and totally UNACCEPTABLE!!!

 

[Gypsy]

How long till the ring gets there?

If he's already sent it... shouldn't be more than 2 days (at least all the vendor's I've used have used 2 day max)... might be best not to out him till she has it in hand.

Although I wouldn't open the box. I'd take it, unopened to an appraiser and open it while they watch.

I would NOT want anyone else to unset that thing though. I REALLY hope that stone is insured.

 

[missydebby]

This might sound weird... but I can't wait to never give this vendor my business

 

[FrekeChild]

The vendor forced her to pay by check, and he said that he insured the stone while it was being set.

You guys are all bringing up very good points and confirming my suspicions that this was all very abnormal behavior on his part.

I think "integrity" needs to be the word of the day.

I don't know what else to say at this point.

She is aware of the thread, but she isn't ready to "out" the vendor for various reasons.

ETA: Gypsy, the ring should be there tomorrow.

 

[Nyc2chigal]

The vendor forced her to pay by check, and he said that he insured the stone while it was being set.

You guys are all bringing up very good points and confirming my suspicions that this was all very abnormal behavior on his part.

I think "integrity" needs to be the word of the day.

I don't know what else to say at this point.

She is aware of the thread, but she isn't ready to "out" the vendor for various reasons.

ETA: Gypsy, the ring should be there tomorrow.

Totally understandable!!! I think many of us asking who the vendor is , is just so we are aware of the integrity (or lack of) of this vendor. I really don't think anyone else would want to be subjected to the same poor service as your friend.
Hope it works out!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

The vendor forced her to pay by check, and he said that he insured the stone while it was being set.

You guys are all bringing up very good points and confirming my suspicions that this was all very abnormal behavior on his part.

I think "integrity" needs to be the word of the day.

I don't know what else to say at this point.

She is aware of the thread, but she isn't ready to "out" the vendor for various reasons.

ETA: Gypsy, the ring should be there tomorrow.

He forced her to pay by check???!!!! This gets worse by the minute. That would have been a red flag right there.

If she is reading this thread, I want to say that I think it is a grave mistake to receive the ring and do anything with it. It needs to go back where they can remove their faulty setting and return her diamond to her. I can't think of a reason not to out the vendor at this point. It can only go uphill from here because I think they'll be forced to do the right thing. I am worried that they are twisting her arm or something to keep her from naming them.

 

[wbarnwell]

The vendor forced her to pay by check, and he said that he insured the stone while it was being set.

You guys are all bringing up very good points and confirming my suspicions that this was all very abnormal behavior on his part.

I think "integrity" needs to be the word of the day.

I don't know what else to say at this point.

She is aware of the thread, but she isn't ready to "out" the vendor for various reasons.

ETA: Gypsy, the ring should be there tomorrow.

He forced her to pay by check???!!!! This gets worse by the minute. That would have been a red flag right there.

If she is reading this thread, I want to say that I think it is a grave mistake to receive the ring and do anything with it. It needs to go back where they can remove their faulty setting and return her diamond to her. I can't think of a reason not to out the vendor at this point. It can only go uphill from here because I think they'll be forced to do the right thing. I am worried that they are twisting her arm or something to keep her from naming them.

I guess I could understand someone paying by check, if they were working very closely to a budget, and trying to avoid transaction fees...I would really like to know who this vendor is