Overweight? Buy an extra seat

[akmiss]

Date: 4/30/2009 12:28:29 PM
Author: Loves Vintage

Date: 4/30/2009 12:07:00 PM
Author: tlh


I don''t recline my seat, even when the person in front of me has theirs reclined, so that I can''t even sit comfortably (with criss crossed legs), and enjoy my tray table being down without bumping my knees. I know that everyone has the right to recline their seat, (with the exception of the very last row on the plane, and the row in front of the emergency exit aisle) but I don''t because I feel it takes the space away from another passenger. If the FA came up to me to tell me to put my seat up, because the person behind me was large (or just uncomfortable), I guess I lack backbone, to say no, but I would put my seat up. I would be angry why they couldn''t tell the person in front of me to put theirs up too, but I wouldn''t say anything. I mean, my rights get infringed upon everyday... but, would I trade places with a larger person, even for a day? NO WAY.

American society has a sense of entitlement. I''m entitled to recline my seat because it is an option. I''m entitled to spill into your seat because I cannot help it I''m large. I''m entitled to my full seat because I paid for a full seat just like you did. Life isn''t fair, get used to it... that works everywhere but the USA, if life isn''t fair here, complain about it. Take from those that have, and give to those that haven''t... in this case the object is space. Space has a premium, but no one wants to pay the price for it. This is more than just an argument for a bigger seat.

I wish I could just argue common courtesy, but the sense of entitlement, it amazing. Just because you can, doesn''t mean you SHOULD. Am I arguing that all seats should not recline? Maybe, maybe not.

Seriously! I could not imagine insisting that my seat stay in the reclined position, if I knew that it was making someone else uncomfortable. Claiming one''s entitlement to recline a seat on a plane to someone else''s great discomfort reveals a lack of common courtesy and a serious lack of empathy. I would rather be uncomfortable myself than know that I was causing someone else discomfort.

That is the clincher here. I am the same and I wish that airplane seats didn''t recline. If a larger person or and elderly person, pregnant woman, or a woman with a baby were setting directly behind me, I would NEVER recline my seat. Courtesy and empathy are two characteristics seriously lacking in our society today. It is always about "my rights" well what about the rights of others... Sometimes people just need to get over themselves and do something kind for another person.

 

[E B]

I see this thread has touched a nerve or two (which was inevitable) but I haven''t seen anyone fat-bashing and if handled properly, I don''t find this policy to be part of any ''anti-fat movement.'' It''s simply a matter of trying to make things fair for all passengers. My husband is very, very tall and unless we''re in the bulkhead seats, he''s crammed into a regular seat with his legs touching the seat in front of him (or pushed over into my space, which is fine). Nine times out of 10, the person in front of him reclines at some point, and while he''s miserable, he deals with it. He paid for one seat''s worth of space. Needless to say, we don''t fly that much.

Bottom line? It isn''t cheap to fly as it is, and if I pay $700 for a seat, I want my full seat.

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 4/30/2009 1:27:33 PM
Author: EBree
I see this thread has touched a nerve or two (which was inevitable) but I haven''t seen anyone fat-bashing and if handled properly, I don''t find this policy to be part of any ''anti-fat movement.'' It''s simply a matter of trying to make things fair for all passengers. My husband is very, very tall and unless we''re in the bulkhead seats, he''s crammed into a regular seat with his legs touching the seat in front of him (or pushed over into my space, which is fine). Nine times out of 10, the person in front of him reclines at some point, and while he''s miserable, he deals with it. He paid for one seat''s worth of space. Needless to say, we don''t fly that much.

Bottom line? It isn''t cheap to fly as it is, and if I pay $700 for a seat, I want my full seat.

Ditto

I fly all the time. I have some stories about reclined seats (one man reclined his seat during the passing of beverages and my very hot coffee spilled all over my suit...not one apology from him), being cramped up, etc. I only hope this policy is handled with class and compassion just like I would hope anything else is handled.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 4/30/2009 1:08:05 PM
Author: thing2of2
But see, you just put down skinny people by calling them skeletons.

only the ones that are jerks.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 4/30/2009 1:14:24 PM
Author: Steel

Date: 4/30/2009 4:20:55 AM

Author: strmrdr


Personally I just fire back....

The latest one was some lady who said wide load, I said.. Do people pay to go skiing off your nose? I have seen smaller ski slopes.

She sure didn''t know what to say to that!

That was mean of her Karl. People suck.

yep a lot of them do.
It doesn''t bug me.
She probably couldn''t think her way out of a paper bag.

 

[musey]

For everyone's reference, seatguru provides dimensions for all planes on all airlines. The link takes you to the page for an American Airlines Boeing 737-800 Vers. 1 (73, where you can see the following info.

I think that just as it is my responsibility as a pet owner to research the airline's accommodations and requirements for pets, it could easily be any larger person's responsibility to research the dimensions of the seat they are planning to book. If they know that their body requires more width than the seat provides, then they can look at a different airline or discuss the issue at check-in (to hopefully avoid the embarrassment of being on the plane when that discussion takes place).

All this talk about smaller seats, encroaching on others' space, having to purchase two seats, etc. etc... there are ways to avoid potentially embarrassing and/or uncomfortable situations - whether that means researching the airline/plane that will be the best 'fit' for you OR buying two seats if need be.

 

[Margot]

Date: 4/30/2009 2:04:52 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 4/30/2009 1:14:24 PM
Author: Steel

Date: 4/30/2009 4:20:55 AM

Author: strmrdr


Personally I just fire back....

The latest one was some lady who said wide load, I said.. Do people pay to go skiing off your nose? I have seen smaller ski slopes.

She sure didn''t know what to say to that!

That was mean of her Karl. People suck.

yep a lot of them do.
It doesn''t bug me.
She probably couldn''t think her way out of a paper bag.

hee hee...that was a great comeback, Karl!

did she think you wouldn''t hear her? it''s interesting...you get the clearest picture of who people are by the way they act when they think no one is looking.

 

[Margot]

I can kind of see where the airline is coming from here. I''m sure they weren''t too concerned about this issue until enough passengers complained about it. They still want to sell a certain amount of seats to be profitable, so even if they were to make larger seats for everyone, we''d all pay more. If they only make a few larger seats that cost extra, that leaves us with the same problem.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 4/29/2009 8:34:24 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 4/29/2009 7:17:30 PM
Author: EBree
What you ticket price buys along with passage is a full seat, and it simply isn''t fair to have to squish into three-fourths or half of a seat when you''ve paid for the full thing.

Just not sure about that. Trains don''t work that way ... even Amtrak ... you''re not even guaranteed a seat period. People stand in the aisles all the way from NYC to DC on busy days. What you *do* seem to be guaranteed in that case is a strange man''s *e* stabbing you in the thigh.

you say...stop poking me.

 

[decodelighted]

Yeah, you guys are right ... poor fat & larged-boned people should just keep their poor fat a**es at home & stop visiting family or attending funerals or traveling the world. If they can''t afford First Class, screw ''em.

I mean, seriously ... aren''t *buses* the preferred mode of travel for the indigent obese anyway?

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 4/30/2009 2:17:26 PM
Author: musey
For everyone''s reference, seatguru provides dimensions for all planes on all airlines. The link takes you to the page for an American Airlines Boeing 737-800 Vers. 1 (73, where you can see the following info.

Just wanted to ditto musey''s recommendation on seatguru - it''s a GREAT tool. We used it so much when we flew to Canada (only my 3rd flight ever). Ended up with great seats for 3 out of our 4 flights there and back - front row, tons of extra space.

 

[Margot]

Date: 4/30/2009 3:08:49 PM
Author: decodelighted
Yeah, you guys are right ... poor fat & larged-boned people should just keep their poor fat a**es at home & stop visiting family or attending funerals or traveling the world. If they can''t afford First Class, screw ''em.

I mean, seriously ... aren''t *buses* the preferred mode of travel for the indigent obese anyway?

I don''t think anyone thinks that. When I travel by bus, plane, or train, I realize that it is PUBLIC transportation and there may be some discomfort whether it be odor, noise, cramped space, etc. Everyone whether they''re overweight, tall, short, or petite has to accept this. This is what you pay for. However, if you literally don''t get the seat you pay for because someone is sitting on top of it, that''s a problem (and on a plane you need your seat and your seatbelt for safety reasons).

I think the problem is that plane seats started at a particular size. To accommodate our changing population, something has got to give...comfort of other passengers, higher costs for those who need extra room, or the airlines decrease their profit by charging the same amount for larger seats. None of these options satisfies each party.

Whatever compromises are made, some group will think it''s unfair. It is what it is.

 

[musey]

Date: 4/30/2009 3:49:13 PM
Author: Margot

Date: 4/30/2009 3:08:49 PM
Author: decodelighted
Yeah, you guys are right ... poor fat & larged-boned people should just keep their poor fat a**es at home & stop visiting family or attending funerals or traveling the world. If they can't afford First Class, screw 'em.

I mean, seriously ... aren't *buses* the preferred mode of travel for the indigent obese anyway?

I don't think anyone thinks that. When I travel by bus, plane, or train, I realize that it is PUBLIC transportation and there may be some discomfort whether it be odor, noise, cramped space, etc. Everyone whether they're overweight, tall, short, or petite has to accept this. This is what you pay for. However, if you literally don't get the seat you pay for because someone is sitting on top of it, that's a problem (and on a plane you need your seat and your seatbelt for safety reasons).

I think the problem is that plane seats started at a particular size. To accommodate our changing population, something has got to give...comfort of other passengers, higher costs for those who need extra room, or the airlines decrease their profit by charging the same amount for larger seats. None of these options satisfies each party.

Whatever compromises are made, some group will think it's unfair. It is what it is.

Ditto every word.

I know that this topic is destined to hit some nerves, but I think it's possible to discuss it from an objective standpoint. Maybe I'm just not reading with a sensitive enough eye, but I don't really see anyone suggesting that larger folk don't have the right to travel - it's just a difficult problem to solve, and there are some parties holding greater responsibility than others.

 

[musey]

Date: 4/30/2009 3:02:32 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 4/29/2009 8:34:24 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 4/29/2009 7:17:30 PM
Author: EBree
What you ticket price buys along with passage is a full seat, and it simply isn''t fair to have to squish into three-fourths or half of a seat when you''ve paid for the full thing.

Just not sure about that. Trains don''t work that way ... even Amtrak ... you''re not even guaranteed a seat period. People stand in the aisles all the way from NYC to DC on busy days. What you *do* seem to be guaranteed in that case is a strange man''s *e* stabbing you in the thigh.

you say...stop poking me.

Not what DO you do

 

[musey]

Date: 4/30/2009 2:36:05 PM
Author: Margot

Date: 4/30/2009 2:04:52 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 4/30/2009 1:14:24 PM
Author: Steel

Date: 4/30/2009 4:20:55 AM
Author: strmrdr
Personally I just fire back....
The latest one was some lady who said wide load, I said.. Do people pay to go skiing off your nose? I have seen smaller ski slopes.
She sure didn''t know what to say to that!

That was mean of her Karl. People suck.

yep a lot of them do.
It doesn''t bug me.
She probably couldn''t think her way out of a paper bag.

hee hee...that was a great comeback, Karl!

did she think you wouldn''t hear her? it''s interesting...you get the clearest picture of who people are by the way they act when they think no one is looking.

Though to be fair, that''s something she can''t really help

(not excusing her behavior, just sayin''...)

 

[Mara]

re: a sense of entitlement, I tend to agree in general. But, a reclining seat IS part of what I pay for with my ticket. Unless of course you knowingly get one of the seats that doesn''t recline, aka Exit Row. No plane seat is entirely comfortable (maybe first class). I pretty much need to recline on certain flights because without more room, I don''t feel even remotely comfortable (and I still am not comfortable).

If I get to my chair and find I can''t recline my seat on a 10 hour flight because the person behind me is uncomfortable, it would really suck. I don''t think that it''s a misplaced sense of what you are entitled to then. You should not be ''penalized'' because of someone behind you.

IMO in a situation like that, it''s up to the flight crew to move that individual behind you to a more comfortable seat. Not take away *your* priveleges. I also hate in general when people audibly complain if you recline your seat in front of them. Seriously...why do some people think it''s ok for them but not for anyone else? Unless the seats flat out DONT recline, who is going to know what can and can''t be done or when it is and isn''t allowed.

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 4/30/2009 4:18:30 PM
Author: musey

Date: 4/30/2009 2:36:05 PM
Author: Margot

Date: 4/30/2009 2:04:52 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 4/30/2009 1:14:24 PM
Author: Steel

Date: 4/30/2009 4:20:55 AM
Author: strmrdr
Personally I just fire back....
The latest one was some lady who said wide load, I said.. Do people pay to go skiing off your nose? I have seen smaller ski slopes.
She sure didn''t know what to say to that!

That was mean of her Karl. People suck.

yep a lot of them do.
It doesn''t bug me.
She probably couldn''t think her way out of a paper bag.

hee hee...that was a great comeback, Karl!

did she think you wouldn''t hear her? it''s interesting...you get the clearest picture of who people are by the way they act when they think no one is looking.

Though to be fair, that''s something she can''t really help

(not excusing her behavior, just sayin''...)

She could always get a nose job

...a lot quicker than losing a significant amount of weight. Or were you talking about her heinous attitude?

 

[musey]

^^ faster, but far more expensive and arguably much worse for one's health...

Like I said, not making excuses for her behavior. Just sayin'... well, just plain sayin'.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 4/30/2009 4:18:30 PM
Author: musey
Though to be fair, that''s something she can''t really help

(not excusing her behavior, just sayin''...)

Some people cant help being big either, When I was lifting weights 5 days a week I was still big.
Always have been big always will be.
At that time they did up the numbers and at 0 fat I would have been 255.
Right now im on meds that make me retain water like crazy and the meds without the side effects are $275 a month. Cant afford them.
I cant take water pills because they interfere with another med.
So its either put up with it and do what I can or die.
The meds are for a genetic condition that without the meds I could have a PE or stroke at anytime from any impact to my legs.
The other option is having screens put in and that is tens of thousands of dollars for the surgery and I don''t react well to anesthesia, the thread about my arm surgery is on here.

Now you gonna say eat less... I bet I eat far less than you do.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 4/30/2009 2:17:26 PM
Author: musey
For everyone''s reference, seatguru provides dimensions for all planes on all airlines. The link takes you to the page for an American Airlines Boeing 737-800 Vers. 1 (73, where you can see the following info.

I think that just as it is my responsibility as a pet owner to research the airline''s accommodations and requirements for pets, it could easily be any larger person''s responsibility to research the dimensions of the seat they are planning to book. If they know that their body requires more width than the seat provides, then they can look at a different airline or discuss the issue at check-in (to hopefully avoid the embarrassment of being on the plane when that discussion takes place).


All this talk about smaller seats, encroaching on others'' space, having to purchase two seats, etc. etc... there are ways to avoid potentially embarrassing and/or uncomfortable situations - whether that means researching the airline/plane that will be the best ''fit'' for you OR buying two seats if need be.

That doesn''t always help, I looked up the most comfortable planes and they have the same measurements as the uncomfortable ones.
How the seat is made and how it fits into the plane makes a huge difference.
Some planes you cant get up close to the side wall which pushes everyone over.

 

[musey]

Date: 4/30/2009 5:11:09 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 4/30/2009 4:18:30 PM
Author: musey
Though to be fair, that's something she can't really help

(not excusing her behavior, just sayin'...)

Some people cant help being big either, When I was lifting weights 5 days a week I was still big.
Always have been big always will be.
At that time they did up the numbers and at 0 fat I would have been 255.
Right now im on meds that make me retain water like crazy and the meds without the side effects are $275 a month. Cant afford them.
I cant take water pills because they interfere with another med.
So its either put up with it and do what I can or die.
The meds are for a genetic condition that without the meds I could have a PE or stroke at anytime from any impact to my legs.
The other option is having screens put in and that is tens of thousands of dollars for the surgery and I don't react well to anesthesia, the thread about my arm surgery is on here.

Now you gonna say eat less... I bet I eat far less than you do.

Far less than me? I hope not, that would be an incredibly sucky diet for someone with your caloric needs!

It would also be impossible for you to maintain your frame on less than what I eat (I would venture to guess that your body needs at least 1/3 again more than I take in, but it's not my place to assume so), but that's neither here nor there.

This thread is not (and was never intended to be) an attack on you personally, it's just a discussion of the options available.

ETA: As to allusions to this stuff encouraging healthier lifestyle and weight loss amongst the average (overweight) American, those are merely opinions. A side effect (fair or not, positive or not). Nothing to do with the airlines' decision(s) in this area.

I'd have to go back and read to know whether others did, but I know that I made a disclaimer that there are of course exceptions to the rule as to whether it's a lifestyle "choice." Coming from a family that has a number overweight AND morbidly obese people, I know perfectly well that there can be much more to size than eating habits. Though I think it's pretty safe to put those in the disclaimed "exceptions" category, rather than the "norm" category.

If the term "lifestyle choice" does not apply in your situation, then it doesn't apply in your situation. I think most people are aware that it does not apply across the board.

But again - neither here nor there, in my opinion.

 

[musey]

Date: 4/30/2009 5:18:51 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 4/30/2009 2:17:26 PM
Author: musey
For everyone's reference, seatguru provides dimensions for all planes on all airlines. The link takes you to the page for an American Airlines Boeing 737-800 Vers. 1 (73, where you can see the following info.

I think that just as it is my responsibility as a pet owner to research the airline's accommodations and requirements for pets, it could easily be any larger person's responsibility to research the dimensions of the seat they are planning to book. If they know that their body requires more width than the seat provides, then they can look at a different airline or discuss the issue at check-in (to hopefully avoid the embarrassment of being on the plane when that discussion takes place).

All this talk about smaller seats, encroaching on others' space, having to purchase two seats, etc. etc... there are ways to avoid potentially embarrassing and/or uncomfortable situations - whether that means researching the airline/plane that will be the best 'fit' for you OR buying two seats if need be.

That doesn't always help, I looked up the most comfortable planes and they have the same measurements as the uncomfortable ones.
How the seat is made and how it fits into the plane makes a huge difference.
Some planes you cant get up close to the side wall which pushes everyone over.

Just trying to help

I don't have all the answers, far from it, it's just something that people can do to be proactive about the current seating situation.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 4/30/2009 2:36:05 PM
Author: Margot
hee hee...that was a great comeback, Karl!


did she think you wouldn''t hear her? it''s interesting...you get the clearest picture of who people are by the way they act when they think no one is looking.

I dunno what she was thinking if she was thinking at all.
She spoke loud enough that several people heard her.

 

[Margot]

Date: 4/30/2009 4:18:30 PM
Author: musey

Date: 4/30/2009 2:36:05 PM
Author: Margot

Date: 4/30/2009 2:04:52 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 4/30/2009 1:14:24 PM
Author: Steel

Date: 4/30/2009 4:20:55 AM
Author: strmrdr
Personally I just fire back....
The latest one was some lady who said wide load, I said.. Do people pay to go skiing off your nose? I have seen smaller ski slopes.
She sure didn''t know what to say to that!

That was mean of her Karl. People suck.

yep a lot of them do.
It doesn''t bug me.
She probably couldn''t think her way out of a paper bag.

hee hee...that was a great comeback, Karl!

did she think you wouldn''t hear her? it''s interesting...you get the clearest picture of who people are by the way they act when they think no one is looking.

Though to be fair, that''s something she can''t really help

(not excusing her behavior, just sayin''...)

...but his retort was in response to a horrid comment she made... and her behavior is something she COULD help...by keeping her mouth shut.

I took it as more of a "this is how it feels when you say something like that to someone else."

 

[dragonfly411]

margot - perfectly said



I do think it is reasonable for someone who takes up more than one seat to have to pay more. The seat gets paid for, and could be left empty so that others will have more comfortable seating. In some cases people can or cannot help their size, but this is a matter of space and personal space. I don''t think it should be a full charge though. Unfortunately we have cases of people in denial... not sure what would be done about that.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 4/30/2009 5:22:33 PM
Author: musey


Just trying to help

I don''t have all the answers, far from it, it''s just something that people can do to be proactive about the current seating situation.

I know and thanks.
This thread makes me grumpy and I should just stay out of it and will after this post.

 

[Margot]

Date: 4/30/2009 5:55:36 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 4/30/2009 2:36:05 PM
Author: Margot
hee hee...that was a great comeback, Karl!


did she think you wouldn''t hear her? it''s interesting...you get the clearest picture of who people are by the way they act when they think no one is looking.

I dunno what she was thinking if she was thinking at all.
She spoke loud enough that several people heard her.

She was either having a bad day or a generally miserable person. She''ll probably think twice before acting so crass again.

 

[Kay]

Date: 4/29/2009 9:05:16 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Musey, luckily people are usually pretty cool about crying babies. Probably b/c most people have been there (or will be there) someday. As long as we try to sooth her, distract her, feed her, play with her, etc people are nice. I am sure once kids are a certain age it is not so forgiving anymore. You have to buy a seat for a toddler after their 2nd b-day.

DH and I are flying with DD for the first time this September. She will be 10 months old, and I am terrified she will cry and fuss and other people will hate us. To make matters worse, there are limited flights between the two cities, and the only way to avoid 2 layovers each direction is to take an overnight flight. I am hoping she will sleep most of the flight, but it''s impossible to predict. I remember crying from ear pain on a flight when I was very young (I still have hearing problems I suspect stem from that flight).

We are paying for a seat for DD, so she can either ride in her car seat or in our laps, whichever will make her happier at the time. I am concerned about the people in front of us reclining and either hitting DD on her head (sometimes those seats come back fast) or just not leaving enough room for her to sit comfortably on my lap. I may speak to the people in the row in front of us at the beginning of the flight and ask them to please warn us before they recline so that we can move DD out of the way so she is not hurt.

 

[musey]

Date: 4/30/2009 5:57:29 PM
Author: Margot
...but his retort was in response to a horrid comment she made... and her behavior is something she COULD help...by keeping her mouth shut.

I took it as more of a 'this is how it feels when you say something like that to someone else.'

Yeah, we were just reading it differently. I took it more as "make fun of my lifestyle choice? I'll make fun of your face." Now I know that Strm's situation is not a lifestyle choice, but most people would assume otherwise since that is not the norm.

AGAIN (and again), I'm not defending her terrible behavior, just making a case for true 'tit for tat,' if that's what one is going for. Maybe make fun of the cigarette in her hand, or her bad B.O., but her nose is something she was born with.

Or just ignore it. That's what I do when people say I look "dead" because I'm so pale

, rather than come back with "you look like a leather bag" (which is still a more fair comparison, as my comeback is much more about a personal choice than the initial insult was - I can't help the skin I was born with).

I never intended to get this in-depth about that one response, it just made me a little sad to see so much support for such a negative thing.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 4/30/2009 6:47:37 PM
Author: Kay

Date: 4/29/2009 9:05:16 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

Musey, luckily people are usually pretty cool about crying babies. Probably b/c most people have been there (or will be there) someday. As long as we try to sooth her, distract her, feed her, play with her, etc people are nice. I am sure once kids are a certain age it is not so forgiving anymore. You have to buy a seat for a toddler after their 2nd b-day.

DH and I are flying with DD for the first time this September. She will be 10 months old, and I am terrified she will cry and fuss and other people will hate us. To make matters worse, there are limited flights between the two cities, and the only way to avoid 2 layovers each direction is to take an overnight flight. I am hoping she will sleep most of the flight, but it''s impossible to predict. I remember crying from ear pain on a flight when I was very young (I still have hearing problems I suspect stem from that flight).


We are paying for a seat for DD, so she can either ride in her car seat or in our laps, whichever will make her happier at the time. I am concerned about the people in front of us reclining and either hitting DD on her head (sometimes those seats come back fast) or just not leaving enough room for her to sit comfortably on my lap. I may speak to the people in the row in front of us at the beginning of the flight and ask them to please warn us before they recline so that we can move DD out of the way so she is not hurt.

I *doubt* at 10 months she will sleep. I found the easiest time to fly with T was 6 months and younger. T has been on more than a dozen flights. The worst one she cried for the whole 2 hour flight. We tried everything. Luckily planes are loud. I am sure it was annoying but people around us were very kind. T never has ear pain but if you think your baby will feed her on take off and landing so she swallows. Also the seats don''t recline THAT far back. T has always flown as a lap child and we never had an issue (except cramped on space). She also kicks the person sometime but we do our best to try to prevent that and always say how sorry we are when it happens. The major issue with traveling with a toddler is keeping her from getting bored. But since there will be two of you it should be fine. Portable DVD players are awesome.