Date: 4/9/2009 1:42:02 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Date: 4/9/2009 1:33:17 PM
Author: Pyramid
Well, my ex-husband when we were together told me this woman at work had an open relationship. Now we never discussed and he knew I would never ever be into that type of thing and if he wanted it then it would be over.
However, I find out a year after he told me this, that he had had sex with her 6 years prior and not only that but they had a 3 and a half year old child which he had kept from me and probably from her husband too, now her ex. He is now living with this other woman and her other two children to two previous relationships, she was married twice.
Now whether he was with her or not, there is no way I would have been with him when I found out he cheated on me, let alone him having a child. But then again I know in myself that I would never cheat on anyone and I would disrespect anyone who suggested cheating on someone to go out with me, no way I would see anyone with a girlfriend or wife. I even told a friends one night stand off one time for flirting with me![]()
I just think these open relationships are asking for trouble. Just my opinion but I if you find it works for you then that's fine
Wait. They had a three year old together that you didn't know about and her then husband didn't know about? Where was the kid???
The kid was with her and her then husband. I don't know what he knew, due to the open relationship. He has the child every second weekend along with their child and her child from her first marriage. I do know that I was at the child's christening though with my then husband, and his brother's daughter was being christened the same day at a church miles away from where they all stayed which just happened to be in the town where my husbands other woman was from. All my in-laws knew about this and I did not. There was a present left on my ex-mother-in-laws table which I tried to remind people about and no one paid attention, this present was for his child and not the niece as I thought. When we got back to the house at night the present had gone. I then heard his mother saying she had been over to see her, I thought it who, and the present was gone when we came into the room before her, she had been and collected it. I was also drawn into a shop to look at jumpers with my ex-mother-in-law whilst my husband was outside looking at a baby in a pram, I was put shopping with my sister-in-law that afternoon, so the woman could visit my ex-mother-in-law and my husband with the child. These people are catholic. There were other things said which didn'[ make sense at the time but all fit now. The woman also worked at his work and I then got a job there and heard people talking about things, like the day I said he was in another town on business so I was soaked walking to work and one of the women got up and went over to the other side of the room and came back saying shes not in yet. In other words everyone knew but me.
Then when I found out through bebo (networking site) who this woman was and recognized her and her friends from work, my husband told me yes he was seeing her but he only just met her from down the road i.e. 60 miles down the road. My husband worked on the floor about where I and this woman worked. I told him,no not down the road just down the stairs. He does not admit to having this chlld or that he cheated now. However he told me in an argument before we split up that he had a 2 and a half year old child with the same name as this child. Yet I was told by workmates he was on the street carrying this child before we split up. I don't know why he won't admit it maybe guilt or maybe protecting the child and her other children due to the divorce. There was also a chocolatey mark on the wall at his mothers house obviously done by a child's hands and she looked sternly at me and said 'you did that', not with a joking face. She also talking about this child in front of me and said to her sister, she had seen the baby and she looked like her father. My husband said do you mean baby's first name and his last name and I corrected him thinking he was talking about his sister's child who has same christian name but different surname due to his sister being married. Can't believe he said that in front of me. Oh and when he told me originally in that argument he had a child I said a sister and brother doesn't name their children the same names and he said well sometimes they do.
I just don't know and wouldn't mind opinions here as to why he told me it and then denied that it is true. I even told him he told me that but doesn't deny he told me just that he denies he has a child or that he knew this woman before, although he spoke of her and all her friends before. It is as though he is mentally ill or something or forgetful. I suppose that is just what a liar does. It really makes no difference because no way I would have anything to do with him now and I am divorcing him. It is just my own curiosity as to why someone can act like this after being with me for 15 years and married for 7 of them.
Oh and also why do his family act this way too.
(Off topic a bit but at first was really unbelievable like a made up story and I never knew how much your subconscious could hide from you. I don't know if these details were all surpressed in my subconscious to protect me or is it just because I know the ending that they fit together like a jigsaw now. Oh and his mother was knitting a shawl for the baby too which she mentioned when her neighbour died who was this woman's grandfather. Her sister in law came in and she told her about the man dying and that she hoped the baby didn't come before she finished it and her sister in law said is that Edward's, I heard this and thought they were speaking about the woman's surname, but it was my ex-husband's christian name Edward. All said standing right in front of the chair next to me.
I think I should write a book. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? Someone told me she thought these people was just not of right mind.