Now I know I expect too much re: people being friendly toward my kids.

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: the "sing-song" voice. . .okay, I have to say I work with the kids nearly EVERY day and NEVER talk like that. They''re 6+ years old and I agree that they should not be talked to like their 6 month old babies, but more as adults. I never implied that I thought that the neighbor should talk like that. In fact, I would have thought her cuckoo if she did!

PP - We''re talking elementary school, not the grocery aisle! An adult blocking the way is entirely different than a child hesitating for a bit at the entrence of the school. I do think children should be shown additional respect and that they have "special" qualities and that is why I volunteer at the school. By providing children with such treatment, it grants them confidence. I don''t coddle the kids in the kindergarten class, but do tell them what they''re doing is great! When people quit telling kids that, the children have less self esteem about themselves and the class work they''re doing in class and slowly they lose that spark in their eyes.

 

[VegasAngel]

I took it upon my self to answer a question (Whether she really wanted an answer or not

) in Mara's post.

I would ask, why do you expect her to speak sweetly to your child? or a larger question, why do people in general expect everyone to love their kids? i wonder this all the time. if i wanted to adore kids, i'd have my own.
OK, NY gets a 24/7 rude pass, Las Vegans arent too much better.

 

[E B]

Date: 4/28/2009 6:45:15 PM
Author: Haven

Would it be nice for her to say please? Sure, I guess so. But I can''t imagine she was trying to bully your child in any way. She was probably trying to save him from getting his fingers jammed in the door. I''d let this one roll of my back. No harm, no foul.

This was my first thought. You said he stopped in the middle of a flood of children- perhaps she was worried he''d get hurt? I know I use a different tone when concerned, one that may come off as harsh depending on the situation.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 4/28/2009 10:55:40 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 4/28/2009 6:45:15 PM
Author: Haven

Would it be nice for her to say please? Sure, I guess so. But I can''t imagine she was trying to bully your child in any way. She was probably trying to save him from getting his fingers jammed in the door. I''d let this one roll of my back. No harm, no foul.

This was my first thought. You said he stopped in the middle of a flood of children- perhaps she was worried he''d get hurt? I know I use a different tone when concerned, one that may come off as harsh depending on the situation.

Ditto. I think she saw him in harms way, didn''t want him to get hurt.. I really would let this one go....

 

[IloveAsschers13]

Date: 4/28/2009 6:10:32 PM
Author: decodelighted
The lady said ''move your hand'' ... I mean HOW mean or harshly can that even BE said? Kids talk like that all the time. ''Give me that toy'' ''Gotta pee!''


Neighbor ladies are not flawless. They get impatient and distracted like everyone else does. Kids are not fragile flowers and they won''t wilt if directions come without ''sweetie'' or ''please'' or a sing-song sugar sweet voice attached.



ETA: As a daycare provider you''re getting paid to be polite & provide a certain level of care. Someone''s random *mom* isn''t subject to the same expectations. JMHO.

I''m not sure what this really means, because in my post I am talking about interaction with children. The parents aren''t even really there to see how we act towards their children during the day. In a school setting especially, it seems strange for a woman to say something to a child sternly...

I guess I just agree with MC that I would be a little mad if the woman was some what snippy- totally uncalled for in my opinion. It is the child''s school, not an NYC city... and it is a child. Not saying she should be lovey dovey, but a please wouldn''t be asking for too much, especially after I have read all these posters saying things about respecting their elders. It really helps to treat children how they should treat you- they will learn by the example.

 

[qtiekiki]

Date: 4/29/2009 12:10:44 AM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 4/28/2009 10:55:40 PM

Author: EBree

Date: 4/28/2009 6:45:15 PM

Author: Haven


Would it be nice for her to say please? Sure, I guess so. But I can''t imagine she was trying to bully your child in any way. She was probably trying to save him from getting his fingers jammed in the door. I''d let this one roll of my back. No harm, no foul.

This was my first thought. You said he stopped in the middle of a flood of children- perhaps she was worried he''d get hurt? I know I use a different tone when concerned, one that may come off as harsh depending on the situation.

Ditto. I think she saw him in harms way, didn''t want him to get hurt.. I really would let this one go....

Thritto

It would be nice if everyone is friendly to kids, but the reality is not everyone likes kids and not everyone will be friendly. I think, as a parent, we need to accept that. If we don''t have realistic expectations, how are we going to teach our kids about the world. Personally, I don''t think kids need to be treated "special" by adults; they need to learn that they are special because they are who they are, and not by the way people treat them. KWIM.

 

[Mara]

VA ... my question was about why people expect others to speak 'sweetly' and or 'love' their kid... not about whether or not it's ok to be randomly rude to a child. but to call them honey or add a sweetie to when you speak to them, or think that the kid is the cutest thing is what so many parents seem to expect from everyone when they interact with their kids. and the world is just not like that and most people don't think that.

i personally also think too that nowadays parents can be so much more sensitive about child-rearing and 'others' speaking to their kid or parenting their kid than when i was little. when i was a kid, trust me, if someone said 'move your hand' in whatever tone, when i was hanging out in a flow of traffic with my hand in a door jamb...my mom would be upset at ME...not the person who told me that.

 

[LaraOnline]

You know, Italia''s post about door jambs has reminded me of a story related to my DH... he has always been REALLY cranky whenever the kids play around a door, particularly opening, shutting, fingers in jambs, etc.

We know why, but other families'' kids, who come to play, don''t know why he jumps on them so quick.

Turns out that when he was in kindergarten, a group of children were playing around a door... a couple of kids were trying to close the door, and a couple of others were trying to keep it open. Much amusement - until suddenly, the door slammed shut, there was a curdling shriek, and one poor little girl''s four fingers fell on the floor!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The horror of the event has never left my DH, who was a playmate observing the game.
Every time my kids even LOOK at a door, he YELLS at them, pretty much.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/29/2009 1:34:46 AM
Author: LaraOnline
You know, Italia''s post about door jambs has reminded me of a story related to my DH... he has always been REALLY cranky whenever the kids play around a door, particularly opening, shutting, fingers in jambs, etc.

We know why, but other families'' kids, who come to play, don''t know why he jumps on them so quick.

Turns out that when he was in kindergarten, a group of children were playing around a door... a couple of kids were trying to close the door, and a couple of others were trying to keep it open. Much amusement - until suddenly, the door slammed shut, there was a curdling shriek, and one poor little girl''s four fingers fell on the floor!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The horror of the event has never left my DH, who was a playmate observing the game.
Every time my kids even LOOK at a door, he YELLS at them, pretty much.

Hokay. Note to self. Amelia is to never play anywhere near a door.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Date: 4/29/2009 1:40:28 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 4/29/2009 1:34:46 AM
Author: LaraOnline
You know, Italia''s post about door jambs has reminded me of a story related to my DH... he has always been REALLY cranky whenever the kids play around a door, particularly opening, shutting, fingers in jambs, etc.

We know why, but other families'' kids, who come to play, don''t know why he jumps on them so quick.

Turns out that when he was in kindergarten, a group of children were playing around a door... a couple of kids were trying to close the door, and a couple of others were trying to keep it open. Much amusement - until suddenly, the door slammed shut, there was a curdling shriek, and one poor little girl''s four fingers fell on the floor!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The horror of the event has never left my DH, who was a playmate observing the game.
Every time my kids even LOOK at a door, he YELLS at them, pretty much.

Hokay. Note to self. Amelia is to never play anywhere near a door.

No joke!! That''s terrifying!!

 

[Octavia]

A friend of mine once accidentally slammed her sister''s fingers in the door. It didn''t cut them off, but did break three of them. The sister is fine now, but my friend still feels awful, 25 years later. Doors are dangerous, especially for little kids who don''t think about things like that.

 

[VegasAngel]

Date: 4/29/2009 1:16:21 AM
Author: Mara
VA ... my question was about why people expect others to speak 'sweetly' and or 'love' their kid... not about whether or not it's ok to be randomly rude to a child. but to call them honey or add a sweetie to when you speak to them, or think that the kid is the cutest thing is what so many parents seem to expect from everyone when they interact with their kids. and the world is just not like that and most people don't think that.

i personally also think too that nowadays parents can be so much more sensitive about child-rearing and 'others' speaking to their kid or parenting their kid than when i was little. when i was a kid, trust me, if someone said 'move your hand' in whatever tone, when i was hanging out in a flow of traffic with my hand in a door jamb...my mom would be upset at ME...not the person who told me that.

I see it as one in the same I guess. So many people expect children to respect their elders yet it seems it does not apply the other way around. Do you think I go ga-ga over every baby or kid I see? No! I don't expect anyone to love my child but if she says hello or is chit-chatting & someone can't at least smile then well, I assume they are nasty in general. I don't understand what not wanting kids or not having any kids has to do with being a generally nice person. I also am not opposed to anyone disciplining my child as long as they dont yell or put their hands on her.

Forgot to ask, am I the only seeing/getting bigger text on Pricescope? I kind of like it, easier for me to see.

 

[janinegirly]

I''m in the camp of it''s better to let some things roll off your back. I don''t find what she said or how she said it offensive in the big picture. Maybe it''s not the tone I would use, but ok, I''d be miffed for a minute..maybe shoot a glare, and be done. One person''s way of talking to children maybe different from another''s...for a billion different reasosn, different cultures, upbringing, experiences, having a bad day, who knows! It''s not like she said something that really crossed the line, just kind of a gray area in terms of tone and intention. So many other things to worry about and get worked up over in my opinion!

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 4/29/2009 9:58:40 AM
Author: VegasAngel
Forgot to ask, am I the only seeing/getting bigger text on Pricescope? I kind of like it, easier for me to see.

Sometimes when my kids play on the computer, they ''do something'' which makes the text bigger! Seems to return to normal when I turn it on again the next day though...

 

[VegasAngel]

Date: 4/29/2009 11:01:39 AM
Author: LaraOnline

Date: 4/29/2009 9:58:40 AM
Author: VegasAngel
Forgot to ask, am I the only seeing/getting bigger text on Pricescope? I kind of like it, easier for me to see.

Sometimes when my kids play on the computer, they ''do something'' which makes the text bigger! Seems to return to normal when I turn it on again the next day though...

Thanks! I tried adjusting the text size & nothing happened. Not sure why it did/does that, but I had to turn on another computer & the text is fine so it''s just something with the other. I''m going to make the text bigger though, so much easier on my eyes lol

 

[purrfectpear]

Those of us raised in the 50''s/60''s probably didn''t get a lot of the modern "parenting" that worried about boosting self confidence, etc.

Funny how WE seem to be the generation that HAS self confidence, and the younger generation who received all the validation seems sadly LACKING in self confidence.

Maybe all that rah-rah, you''re special, support didn''t produce the confidence?
Maybe expecting more of kids, and doing less for them produced a more confident adult?

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 4/29/2009 12:16:19 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Those of us raised in the 50''s/60''s probably didn''t get a lot of the modern ''parenting'' that worried about boosting self confidence, etc.


Funny how WE seem to be the generation that HAS self confidence, and the younger generation who received all the validation seems sadly LACKING in self confidence.


Maybe all that rah-rah, you''re special, support didn''t produce the confidence?

Maybe expecting more of kids, and doing less for them produced a more confident adult?

Certainly something to this PP...I think there needs to be a balance between supporting your kids and their dreams but also letting them learn for themselves sometimes instead of stepping in to do everything for them. I think that''s where the problem lies.

But that is a whole new topic!

 

[lyra]

I'm always politely stern to kids who need to be told to do something, or not do something, period. I never expected more or less of other people when my kids were growing up. I think it's silly when people try to reason with a child under 10. They don't have much ability to understand the concept of reason until they're around 10. So I disagree with coddling, but agree with politeness. Depends on the situation really too. If it's some major imminent danger, maybe I would be a little firmer, but I find just a calm "watch out for your fingers" would have been enough. It gets the point across quickly, in a way a child can understand without any major emotion or unnecessary explanation. IMO of course. And I'm getting crotchedy (sp?) in my old age here.

 

[Haven]

Date: 4/29/2009 12:16:19 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Those of us raised in the 50's/60's probably didn't get a lot of the modern 'parenting' that worried about boosting self confidence, etc.

Funny how WE seem to be the generation that HAS self confidence, and the younger generation who received all the validation seems sadly LACKING in self confidence.

Maybe all that rah-rah, you're special, support didn't produce the confidence?

Maybe expecting more of kids, and doing less for them produced a more confident adult?

Finally--someone put into words what I typed out earlier but couldn't quite say.

My colleagues and I call the younger generations (including my own) the "You're so special!" generations. Everyone's a winner. Effort is all that matters, not mastery or ability. Validation and self-esteem come entirely from others, and we must walk on eggshells around these children because they depend entirely upon others to feel valued and important.

It's really making my job as an educator quite difficult. I'm trying to educate, to be an agent of change, yet there are so many esteem issues going on that I can barely get to the important things, like the skills and experiences that will actually help kids stand on their own two feet when they go out into the big bad world.

I'm not saying people should be rude to children. I smile at all children, and I'll even play a quick hide-and-seek with those children that are allowed to run like wild men around in public restaurants. But I will not, I refuse to handicap children by giving them a false sense that *whatever* they choose to do or say is absolutely wonderful simply because they are special. This is the worst thing you can do to your child. She will never grow up to be a self-reliant individual, and worse--she'll never develop a mind of her own.

Okay, rant over. MC--I know this is *not* what you're talking about, and I admire what I know of your parenting skills from your posts here on PS.

ETA: There's some great research out there about confidence issues in the younger generations because of the way they're being raised. I don't have any electronic versions, but if you're inclined to research, you'll find some interesting work.

 

[VegasAngel]

I refuse to handicap children by giving them a false sense that *whatever* they choose to do or say is absolutely wonderful simply because they are special. This is the worst thing you can do to your child. She will never grow up to be a self-reliant individual, and worse--she'll never develop a mind of her own.

Huh?

What is all this stuff about kids lacking self confidence.

NM I went back & re-read.

 

[iluvcarats]

Date: 4/29/2009 12:16:19 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Those of us raised in the 50's/60's probably didn't get a lot of the modern 'parenting' that worried about boosting self confidence, etc.


Funny how WE seem to be the generation that HAS self confidence, and the younger generation who received all the validation seems sadly LACKING in self confidence.


Maybe all that rah-rah, you're special, support didn't produce the confidence?

Maybe expecting more of kids, and doing less for them produced a more confident adult?

This is a very thought provoking post PP.
I agree that we are raising a generation of self indulgent kids. They are looking for a pat on the head for everything that they do, whether deserving or not. Every sports practice and game must be punctuated with the obligatory snack and drink courtesy of the "parent of the week" and every kid gets a trophy at the end of the season whether deserving or not. What ever happened to playing sports just for the fun of them?

I don't know what the answer is, but raising them this way it is not beneficial to kids at all.
I think of them as the "What's next?" generation.
Part of the reason that they are always looking for their scheduled "next" is because you really can't raise kids the same way today. My after school activity as a kid was running around the neighborhood with my friends. If I didn't come home for dinner, My mother didn't worry that I was abducted, rather she figured I was having too much fun and called my friends house. Times were different back then. I would love to be able to give my children the confidence building independence that I had as a kid, but there is no way I'd let them out of my sight.

I also remember when I was a kid that toys and clothes were still manufactured here in the US. Things were more expensive, and not as accessible. Levi's were $30 a pair, and you wore them until you grew out of them. Today with all of our out sourcing to China and India and Pakistan, things are cheaper

than they were 30 years ago. It's as if we live in a disposable world. $9.99, $3.99 - what kinds of prices are these? They can save their $2 allowance and actually buy something!

Lastly, I think that the rapid evolution of technology has a lot to do with how our children view the world. When I was a little girl everyone was talking about the newest and latest AMAZING invention - the calculator! And as if that wasn't enough, then they came out with the calculator WATCH! A few years down the road Sony came up with the miracle Walkman, and a few years after that CD's came out. Now we live in a world where we can walk down the street talking on a phone, texting, watching TV or even surfing the web. We can have our mind plugged into something at every moment. And every week they come out with a newer, better one. My dad was a Dr.before cell phones. He had to tell his answering service where to reach him at all times. When I was a kid the only thing to watch on TV early on Saturday was Davy and Goliath - and we were thrilled. Today kids can access PBS, Nickelodeon, and Disney 24/7 (if you let them) It is TOO MUCH! No wonder they are always looking for what's next!

As an adult, I find the world far scarier than when I was a child. Of course I now have the capability to understand the gravity and consequences of it all, but that aside, I do believe that today's world is not only different, but more complicated and dangerous. When I was growing up, I had never heard of a school with a metal detector, yet now it is common place. My 5 year old wants to know what a Polygamist is courtesy of CNN, and my 10 year old came home today worried about getting Swine Flu.

I don't really know what the answer is, and I do agree that many kids today are far too indulged and expecting. I try to raise my kids to be more independent and think for themselves. Life is not a series of fun activities. I want them to use their imaginations and read books and run around outside and play. But they are used to having me around all the time because I have to be to keep them safe, and I am sure this has to do with their lack of independence and ability to think of activities for themselves. But they don't get to explore the woods and build forts and congregate as kids. This right of passage that we were granted as children is gone. The world is a very different place than it was for you in the 50's and 60's and for me in the 70's and 80's, and although I think that there is no excuse for over indulged bratty kids, I think that kids today are greatly a reflection of the world around them.

 

[purrfectpear]

I totally get the difference in the dangers and the way we restrict our kids compared to the freedom we had roaming the neighborhood.

I''m talking about the fact that you used to be in big trouble if you came home with a B- or a C. There was a clear message that you could do better, and that you had better plan on doing better or you''d probably be grounded next time. Forget the thought of coming home with a D, you KNEW you were grounded

Now it seems like we smile, pat them on the head and say something hopeful like "keep trying to reach your potential". Modern parenting often treats fear as though it''s a bad thing. Bad or not, it was darned effective. It''s not like we quaked in fear of our parents 24/7, we just had a healthy respect for "consequences" and we had no doubt there would be some.

Anyway, I''m glad mine is 25...whew.

 

[iluvcarats]

Date: 4/29/2009 11:23:28 PM
Author: purrfectpear
I totally get the difference in the dangers and the way we restrict our kids compared to the freedom we had roaming the neighborhood.


I'm talking about the fact that you used to be in big trouble if you came home with a B- or a C. There was a clear message that you could do better, and that you had better plan on doing better or you'd probably be grounded next time. Forget the thought of coming home with a D, you KNEW you were grounded

Now it seems like we smile, pat them on the head and say something hopeful like 'keep trying to reach your potential'. Modern parenting often treats fear as though it's a bad thing. Bad or not, it was darned effective. It's not like we quaked in fear of our parents 24/7, we just had a healthy respect for 'consequences' and we had no doubt there would be some.

Anyway, I'm glad mine is 25...whew.

Not me!

My kids have to earn their screen time (tv, computer, wii)

I understand your point better now.
I must say I am happy to have grown up playing with kids who played tag and hide 'n seek and NOT Grand Theft Auto

ETA I think it is a HUGE parenting mistake to want to be your kid's friend. They don't need more friends, they need a parent who sets limits and rules and who has expectations.

 

[swimmer]

Date: 4/29/2009 11:23:28 PM
Author: purrfectpear
I totally get the difference in the dangers and the way we restrict our kids compared to the freedom we had roaming the neighborhood.


I''m talking about the fact that you used to be in big trouble if you came home with a B- or a C. There was a clear message that you could do better, and that you had better plan on doing better or you''d probably be grounded next time. Forget the thought of coming home with a D, you KNEW you were grounded

Now it seems like we smile, pat them on the head and say something hopeful like ''keep trying to reach your potential''. Modern parenting often treats fear as though it''s a bad thing. Bad or not, it was darned effective. It''s not like we quaked in fear of our parents 24/7, we just had a healthy respect for ''consequences'' and we had no doubt there would be some.

Anyway, I''m glad mine is 25...whew.

PP, re the grades, now its "why did that teacher GIVE you that grade?" Parents seem to excuse their kids anything. I will never forget a meeting where the parent asked one of my teachers to prove that the website that their child had plagiarized from hadn''t copied their kid''s work. Um, the BBC rarely quotes American high school kids, the post date on the site is 5 yrs old and its in BRITISH English. A favourite moment indeed.

 

[steph72276]

I think some people really just don''t know how to talk to kids and feel entitled to speak down to children just because they are older. Since she has children and it was in a school, she should have known better. I would have been mad too and the mama bear in me would have come out....you can speak to your own child in a mean/stern way, but if I hear you speaking to my child in an mean way, there''s gonna be some words.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 4/30/2009 12:15:15 PM
Author: steph72276
I think some people really just don''t know how to talk to kids and feel entitled to speak down to children just because they are older. Since she has children and it was in a school, she should have known better. I would have been mad too and the mama bear in me would have come out....you can speak to your own child in a mean/stern way, but if I hear you speaking to my child in an mean way, there''s gonna be some words.

Steph, if it''s your child that''s running around unsupervised, or yelling, or blocking the doorway, you can bet "there''s gonna be some words" and most of them you won''t want your child to hear.

Mama bear or not, I''ll speak sternly to anyone''s child that needs it. If the mama''s don''t want their little precious to be reprimanded they''d better make sure they''re towing the line. "Mamas" need to understand clearly that the rest of the world does not revolve around their children, and we don''t wish to be afflicted with poor behavior.

 

[steph72276]

Date: 4/30/2009 12:48:01 PM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 4/30/2009 12:15:15 PM

Author: steph72276

I think some people really just don't know how to talk to kids and feel entitled to speak down to children just because they are older. Since she has children and it was in a school, she should have known better. I would have been mad too and the mama bear in me would have come out....you can speak to your own child in a mean/stern way, but if I hear you speaking to my child in an mean way, there's gonna be some words.

Steph, if it's your child that's running around unsupervised, or yelling, or blocking the doorway, you can bet 'there's gonna be some words' and most of them you won't want your child to hear.


Mama bear or not, I'll speak sternly to anyone's child that needs it. If the mama's don't want their little precious to be reprimanded they'd better make sure they're towing the line. 'Mamas' need to understand clearly that the rest of the world does not revolve around their children, and we don't wish to be afflicted with poor behavior.

Well, if you have issues with a child, you need to speak to the parent not the child....otherwise, you are being a bully. BTW, MC didn't write anything about her child "running around unsupervised" and neither did I. I don't think anything MC said indicated that her son was showing poor behavior.

 

[mrssalvo]

perfectpear, Do you have your own children?

ETA: just curious because I've noticed responses seems to different amongst the gals with no kids, with small kids and the gals with kids that are around the same ages as MC's.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/30/2009 12:48:01 PM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 4/30/2009 12:15:15 PM
Author: steph72276
I think some people really just don''t know how to talk to kids and feel entitled to speak down to children just because they are older. Since she has children and it was in a school, she should have known better. I would have been mad too and the mama bear in me would have come out....you can speak to your own child in a mean/stern way, but if I hear you speaking to my child in an mean way, there''s gonna be some words.

Steph, if it''s your child that''s running around unsupervised, or yelling, or blocking the doorway, you can bet ''there''s gonna be some words'' and most of them you won''t want your child to hear.

Mama bear or not, I''ll speak sternly to anyone''s child that needs it. If the mama''s don''t want their little precious to be reprimanded they''d better make sure they''re towing the line. ''Mamas'' need to understand clearly that the rest of the world does not revolve around their children, and we don''t wish to be afflicted with poor behavior.

I agree. I''ll speak to other kids in a stern way and if someone does that to my kid and it''s justified (which it probably would be), I''ll be explaining to my kid why they were told what they were told.

That doesn''t mean I''m going to run around chastising other people''s kids. That''s their responsibility. But if they are doing something that affects me or my child, then yes, I will say something. If possible, to the parent first, if present.

It is RIDICULOUS how kids are coddled these days. When my brother told me there were baseball little leagues that no longer kept score, I just thought that was ridiculous. There ARE winners AND losers in life. Learning how to accept defeat graciously and striving to improve the next go around is something we all need to learn as it comes in handy in ADULTHOOD as well. As far as I''m concerned, Amelia is not just my "kid" - she is my future productive member of society too, God willing!

 

[steph72276]

Date: 4/30/2009 1:30:31 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 4/30/2009 12:48:01 PM

Author: purrfectpear

Date: 4/30/2009 12:15:15 PM

Author: steph72276

I think some people really just don't know how to talk to kids and feel entitled to speak down to children just because they are older. Since she has children and it was in a school, she should have known better. I would have been mad too and the mama bear in me would have come out....you can speak to your own child in a mean/stern way, but if I hear you speaking to my child in an mean way, there's gonna be some words.

Steph, if it's your child that's running around unsupervised, or yelling, or blocking the doorway, you can bet 'there's gonna be some words' and most of them you won't want your child to hear.


Mama bear or not, I'll speak sternly to anyone's child that needs it. If the mama's don't want their little precious to be reprimanded they'd better make sure they're towing the line. 'Mamas' need to understand clearly that the rest of the world does not revolve around their children, and we don't wish to be afflicted with poor behavior.

I agree. I'll speak to other kids in a stern way and if someone does that to my kid and it's justified (which it probably would be), I'll be explaining to my kid why they were told what they were told.


That doesn't mean I'm going to run around chastising other people's kids. That's their responsibility. But if they are doing something that affects me or my child, then yes, I will say something. If possible, to the parent first, if present.


It is RIDICULOUS how kids are coddled these days. When my brother told me there were baseball little leagues that no longer kept score, I just thought that was ridiculous. There ARE winners AND losers in life. Learning how to accept defeat graciously and striving to improve the next go around is something we all need to learn as it comes in handy in ADULTHOOD as well. As far as I'm concerned, Amelia is not just my 'kid' - she is my future productive member of society too, God willing!

Sorry, but have to disagree with you on this one, TGAL. My son is 4 years old. He is on his first real sports team this year. He is playing t-ball and no, they do not keep score. Every kid gets a chance to bat 3 times and make it around the bases. They are LEARNING how to hit, throw, work as a team, and show good sportmanship. I do not think there is anything wrong with that. When it becomes so competitive that the parents are yelling at their children, it takes the fun out of the game and some kids will stop playing sports all together. Yes, when they are older, I agree the teams should keep score. And yes, we play board games and let him loose sometimes and talk about the importance of being a gracious looser, but it's important for kids to actually have FUN when they are starting out in sports or they will not want to continue to play.