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Nice and rich or ZaZING! and poor.

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TravelingGal

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
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So here is the inspiration for the question below.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/202008

Assuming both loved you and treated you well, would you pick a perfectly nice guy who you get along with fine who is rich (but that you don''t have strong feelings for) or a guy that makes you extremely passionate and who will never be anything but struggling?

And for grins, when answering, tell us if you are single, in a relationship or engaged, married and how long, or divorced (or whatever your status may be) and how old you are, i.e. 20''s, 30''s, 40''s, or not telling.


I would pick the nice rich guy.
Me: married over 2.5 years and in my mid 30''s.
 
Honestly, probably the "Zazing" but struggling dude. But I''m probably already biased seeing that my bf aspires to be a VSX artist ;) about to go to Vancouver film school. And I''m aspiring to be a Nurse Anesthetist.

I''m in my 20s, in a long-term relationship about to get engaged.
 
I would go for the nice and rich guy. Passion fades. I don''t believe there are many relationships that stay in the honeymoon phase. The physical side of things is all well and good but you can''t live on love
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I am in my 30''s and will have been married 4 years this year.
 
Nice and rich. Passion fades, and honestly I don''t think I''m cut out for the kind of person that would be struggling forever. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, but I feel like passion and the stress of always struggling would lead to a much worse life for me than a nice guy that I respect with money, even if I don''t have super strong feelings for him.

I''m 23, dating somebody seriously, but not engaged.
 
Nice rich guy

Engaged 27
 
I''d pick the nice rich guy.

I''m 37.
I''m not interested in being the primary source of income in a relationship because I''ve been there, done that and I will not do it again.

Emotional intensity is fun while it lasts, but after the intensity fades, I think one of the sexiest things a man can do is pay his half of the bills on time, every time, without me having to say a word. This is one of my favorite things about my fiance.

Maybe I''m boring but I think financial stability is very, very sexy.
 
Without a doubt rich guy ....in a relationship over 8 years in my mid 20''s
 
Considering that my husband is nice and neither rich nor struggling and I am perfectly content, nice and rich seems to be the best choice for me. I''m 24, married for 10 months.
 
I''d pick the nice and rich guy, if I HAD to pick between the two
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He wouldn''t have to be rich as such though, just not forever struggling. And there would have to be enough liking/attraction there.

Can''t I mix them both together?

Oh, I''m 26 and in a relationship.
 
I''m in the minority, here.

I''d go for ZaZING! and poor, assuming that the passion you''re talking about is a passion for life rather than sexual passion. I bore easily, and the more money we have, the more I realize that we really don''t need much at all to be happy.

I''m 28. We''ve been married for one year, together for five years. (Five years today, actually!)
 
I would choose the nice but struggling kind. I am in my 30''s and engaged.

I was once engaged to someone who is both nice and rich. I found him in bed with someone else the day after he proposed. I don''t care how much $$$ he has, the hurt was unbearable.
 
Nice and rich...absolutely.

I''m 26 and married for 11 months
 
I''d pick the guy who I''m passionate about but who will always be struggling. As long as he''s hardworking and honest (so often the ones who are always struggling are NOT! I''ve been with the type before...). Then I''d just make enough $$ for the two of us, and he could watch over house and home. It could even be a bit of a personal challenge, with passion as a motivator.

Marrying the rich but nice guy wouldn''t give me much motivation to pursue my ambitions to the fullest.

I''m 26, about to be married next month.

P.S. But that''s only if I HAD to choose. I''m not settling for a lack of passion OR a lack of financial stability.
 
Absolutely the ZaZing guy. W and I have been happy with money, and without, but one thing has easily prevailed - our passion for life and each other.
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Now, if we had children, I''m sure my answer would be different.
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I''m 33, and I''ve been married 3.5 years, and together for over 7 years. No kids yet.
 
I''m in my early fifties and life has taught me (and continues to teach me) some very hard and painful lessons.
I married for ZaZing a long time ago and the many financial crises have not been fun at all. Given a choice? I''d marry a wealthy man who I got along with. Being financially comfortable adds a definite security and stability to your life that''s irreplacable.

~married eleven years, living together sixteen, together almost seventeen.
 
If the rich guy is nice, I''d teach/inspire him passion.
Can''t survive on passion alone.
Happily Married for almost two decades, 38.
 
I''ve been married to the struggling guy for 7 1/2 years and we''ve been together 9 1/2 years. He just turned 35 and I''ll be 35 in October. I''m assuming by struggling, you''re talking struggling to make ends meet, blue collar workin'' guy, rather than struggling to even keep a job in the first place. We''ll always be struggling-that''s a fact of life here in minimum wage-ville. If I could go back in time and have the same guy, just w/more money, heck yeah..but if I''d have to completely have a different guy, which would mean end up w/different kids etc..no, I''ll stick w/who I''ve got. If you throw Johnny Depp into the situation, I may have a different answer tho.
 
Nice and rich.

Married 7 years [2nd marriage], together 11

Mid 50''s
 
Nice rich guy. If I've got passion with the poor guy and finances become an issue... that passion is gonna spill over and ruin it all anyway. And passion fades.

33 years old. Married less than a year. Together 10.
 
Date: 6/15/2009 2:40:50 PM
Author: princesss
Nice and rich. Passion fades, and honestly I don''t think I''m cut out for the kind of person that would be struggling forever. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, but I feel like passion and the stress of always struggling would lead to a much worse life for me than a nice guy that I respect with money, even if I don''t have super strong feelings for him.

I''m 23, dating somebody seriously, but not engaged.
Click to expand...
Very true...... the stress of always struggling and worrying about money and financial security can cause someone to change their opinion of the other person over time, and changing your opinion does dampen passion and positive feelings over the years, and I don''t care how much of an Adonis the guy "thinks" he is!

I have to agree with SeattleSweetheart in that stability and security is sexy. It means your with a grown up and not a kid.
 
having done the 'nice' guy thing previously, i would not marry someone who i didnt have very strong feelings for. IMO, unless you have been in THAT relationship, with a guy who treats you great, loves you, adores you, whatever...but that you just cannot quite reciprocate the same feelings for... you don't really know if that is what you would choose. i felt so guilty that i could not reciprocate his feelings even though i tried...like i was cheating him.

after dating this guys for 3 years, i had the opp to date another nice guy who was very rich, but he just did not do it for me....and my friend said 'but he's rich'...well SO? money can not make up for everything that is lacking.

if as someone else said the passion was real passion for who the person was and a TRUE heart attachment, and not just simple lust... then i would def take that and try to make our way together. you don't know that someone will ALWAYS be struggling just because they are when you met them, and i have been quite successful in my own right, so even if he never was a breadwinner, i could take care of us.
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if i couldn't do the above, i'd be alone.
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eta: 34 married for 5 years, together for 9.
 
I would go for the one you have passion with. I also tried dating a really nice guy that adored me, treated me well, but there were no sparks. I would be sad to go through life with no sparks. I've got a degree and am a hard worker, so if nothing else I could make a good living if I needed to.

Married for 6 years, together for 9.
 
I would pick the nice rich guy.

mid-20''s, married for 3 years, together for 9 years.
 
Nice and rich.

I married the passionate yet struggling guy. Stupid me fell in love with a poor man.
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We are very happy together, but there will be hard times ahead.
Married just over 2 months, together 4 years tomorrow, late 20s.
 
Nice and Rich. Za-Zing doesn''t heat the house, drive you to work, or taste good.

34 single and always have been
 
Nice and Rich. Previous SO was struggling, but we had ZaZing. And alas, it faded. And his credit card debt took it''s place. Bleh. I grew up with a mother telling me that love is primary, but don''t discount how well a man can provide.

I''m 27, dating a hardworking, well-compensated man. Soon to be engaged. No children.
 
Nice and rich

Married 23 years together for 27.

I am 47
 
Nice and rich.

Age 25, getting married this weekend
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, together for 3 years.
 
Married, year and a half.

...

Can I go with both? I really do think it''s an oversimplification, at least for me, because one of the qualities that I''m most attracted to is intelligence. Intelligence tends to pursue success, or at least to be capable of ensuring that the basic needs are met. Beyond that ... well, I can provide my own luxuries. The whole scenario seems predicated on the idea that women *need* men in a way that men just don''t *need* women ....

It seems like ultimately, the question sort of becomes, is the guy himself the luxury, or does luxury come in the material gains that he''ll provide?
 
My DH IS zazing and struggling, so there is your answer.

27, married a year and a half, and happy
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